2 Pancakes of Wisdom

Season 1 finale is about knowing when to let go. Sometimes you are holding on so tightly, you don’t even realize it’s time to let go. Suddenly you realize it’s time. It’s time to come back to you.

Today is my birthday! I am giving myself the gift of not writing a real description hahaha! I will probably write a real one very soon, but I want to send this baby out into the world. ✈️. As usual I talk about what Charlotte is doing to drive me crazy and how I manage to resist resentment. The episode Easter eggs include: speech therapy 3rd person tips, a mummified object in a gas station museum, and a cow sound effect. Have fun! Send me a message on Instagram or Facebook @2pancakesodwisdom if you find an Easter egg 😉

In this episode I share my highs and lows from a typical day with Charlotte. As a special-needs mom it’s amazing the little things I celebrate sometimes! The simple act of seeing her throw away her own trash can bring me to tears of happiness. Our lows come from moments where I can’t get Charlotte to budge, and she’s so big and strong now that sometimes I am helpless to do anything about it.

I give myself a gold star for climbing my way out of self doubt by the act of journaling. Doubt and fear is often my stumbling block and I need lots of tools to get myself back on track.

I hope you’ll indulge me by letting me read the bit of my favorite book to you. It’s the one I come back to over and over again because it gives me the comfort and familiarity that I crave when I’m feeling lost.

I end with my regular bit of relaxation: Take a deep breath, relax your shoulders, release your tongue from the roof of your mouth, relax your throat. You’ve got this, mama.

Today’s episode has a different mood. I recorded it late at night in a more contemplative space. I share with you two poems I’ve written in the last few years. The first called “new yarn” is a love letter to motherhood and to the theater. The second one “pretty” talks about how as women we can both crave and feel trapped by attention about our looks. I hope you find meaning in them, and perhaps they inspire you to write a poem yourself today! I attached the text below.

Until next time, take good care.
~~~~~~~~~
New yarn

Now a mother
I have been unraveled
and knit back together
My child's sweet essence
In every strand
I cannot undo this mother I have become
(Nor would I want to)

And with this new yarn
Where our beating hearts combine
I stitch together stories on stage
I create wife and mother
again and again
I cannot help but love
these families I create
For my child's beating heart
Is woven into their being

My heart stretches
until it contains this too
A new husband
A new child
A new mother
They all live
in a safe sheltered place
within me

So my arms stretch wider
my heart beats stronger
And my family grows larger
As I give birth to each new story

Pretty
Please do not tell me
I am pretty
As much as I may want
to hear it
As much as you want to see me smile and blush
And feel complete
It will not last
It is a glass of salt water
in the desert

Please do not tell me
I am pretty
For I will no longer
chase the fantasy
which will never complete me
And the thrill I feel
When you say that word
Makes me run faster
To catch its ghost

Do not tell me
I am pretty
For I am wise
And fierce
And whole
Do not tie me
in pretty chains