Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher

Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher

By Maurice Harker

For over 30 years, Maurice W. Harker, M.ed, has been working to provide practical and powerful interventions based on a synergy Eternal Principles with accurate psychology science. He was a Clinical Mental Health Counselor for over 17 years (2005-2022). Clients and students of psychology thrive on the hope and happiness that come from what he teaches. This podcast is a series of samplings of his live training sessions. You can learn more from the videos wound on the YouTube channel: Life Changing Services.
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How Men Can Take Responsibility for Repairing and Strengthening Their Marriages – Part 2: When She Thinks You’re Lying Just Because You’re Tired

Memoirs of an LDS Servant TeacherApr 10, 2025
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How Do I Communicate with My Wife When Everything I Say Seems to Make Things Worse Part 4 – The Real Power of Transparency, Planning, and Psychological Intimacy

How Do I Communicate with My Wife When Everything I Say Seems to Make Things Worse Part 4 – The Real Power of Transparency, Planning, and Psychological Intimacy

Why does my wife say I’m hiding something—when I’m not?
Why does she feel left out or betrayed when I simply change plans in my head and move on?

In Part 4 of this transformative series, we expose a hidden but common problem in many marriages: a lack of transparent communication around everyday plans, emotions, and intentions. Maurice breaks down the difference between being “secretive” and simply not narrating your thought process—and how this disconnect leaves your wife feeling shut out, unimportant, or unsafe.

You'll learn:

  • Why last-minute changes without communication feel like betrayal (even when they're innocent)

  • What “psychological intimacy” really means—and how it stops repeated arguments

  • How intelligent wives are wired to contribute—and why dismissing their input destroys trust

  • Why avoiding control can accidentally create emotional abandonment

  • How to lead with clarity, connection, and confidence—without giving up your independence

This episode is your roadmap for building strategic, intellectual partnership in your marriage—so she feels like a teammate instead of an outsider, and you stop stepping on emotional landmines.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/rebuilding-trust-in-a-traumatized-relationship-a-spiritual-and-psychological-approach/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfO4yyDwbrw


Check out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

Jun 02, 202512:24
How Do I Communicate with My Wife When Everything I Say Seems to Make Things Worse Part 3 – Understanding Real Vulnerability and Engineering Emotional Safety

How Do I Communicate with My Wife When Everything I Say Seems to Make Things Worse Part 3 – Understanding Real Vulnerability and Engineering Emotional Safety

Why does my wife say I’m not being vulnerable—even when I’m doing my best to be honest?

Why does it feel like every time I open up, it backfires?

In Part 3 of this deeply practical series, we break down the misunderstood idea of vulnerability—but in man talk. Using the metaphor of building a bridge, Maurice reveals how to create emotional safety by treating communication like an engineering project: sharing accurate, useful information to strengthen trust—not just confessing weakness or oversharing emotion.

You’ll learn:

  • The male definition of vulnerability (and why women still say it’s not enough)

  • Why sharing emotionally charged details isn’t always real transparency

  • The difference between gaslighting and engineering-level communication

  • Why emotional safety requires independent stability—not constant reaction

  • How to know if your wife is still too unstable for certain conversations (and how to proceed without making things worse)

If you feel like you can’t say anything without upsetting her—or if she’s accusing you of being unsafe when you’re just trying to function—this episode is your blueprint for navigating the chaos.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/your-brain-works-like-a-presidential-cabinet/


Rather Watch Something? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ot_wqKwviwk&t=1s


Check out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

Jun 01, 202512:08
How Do I Communicate with My Wife When Everything I Say Seems to Make Things Worse Part 2 – Redefining Vulnerability and Emotional Safety

How Do I Communicate with My Wife When Everything I Say Seems to Make Things Worse Part 2 – Redefining Vulnerability and Emotional Safety

Why does my wife say I’m not vulnerable—when I feel like I’ve told her everything?

Why does she still say I’m unsafe, even when I try to be honest?

In Part 2 of this breakthrough series, Maurice walks husbands through the emotionally exhausting challenge of showing up in conversations that never seem to go right. You’ll learn why “vulnerability” often means something totally different to your wife than it does to you—and how to create the kind of emotional safety that actually opens the door to rebuilding connection.

You’ll also learn:

  • What real vulnerability is (and what it isn’t)

  • Why most men react rather than respond—and how to reverse that

  • How to become your best self before trying to repair the relationship

  • What the “four seasons of intimacy” actually look like in real life

  • Why building safety has to come before solving problems

This episode is for any man who’s ever thought:

“I was trying to be honest… so why did it blow up in my face?”

If you feel like your marriage is stuck in emotional landmines, this episode gives you a real path out.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/seeds-and-weeds-attending-to-our-psychological-garden/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybqzJ039vw4&t=3s


Check out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

May 31, 202512:01
How Do I Communicate with My Wife When Everything I Say Seems to Make Things Worse Part 1 – Understanding Her Language and Rebuilding Connection

How Do I Communicate with My Wife When Everything I Say Seems to Make Things Worse Part 1 – Understanding Her Language and Rebuilding Connection

She says you’re abusive.
You say you’re just trying to talk.
She wants emotional safety.
You want clarity and connection.

So why does every conversation end in disaster?

In Part 1 of this new series, we dive into one of the most exhausting and confusing struggles men face in broken or strained marriages—how to communicate with your wife when every word seems to make things worse. Maurice introduces a strategy rooted in film review, proactive empathy, and slow-motion emotional intelligence, empowering you to stop reacting and start learning the real meaning behind her words.

Inside this episode:

  • Why your wife’s words often don’t match what she’s actually trying to say

  • How recording conversations (yes, really) can change everything

  • What it means to “translate” your wife’s emotions like a foreign language

  • Why not living together doesn’t mean you stop learning how to show up

  • The role of baseball and slow practice in rebuilding emotional intimacy

  • How to introduce vulnerability as a strength in communication

This episode is for every man who’s thought:
“No matter what I say… it’s never the right thing.”

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/taking-responsibility-for-our-thoughts-navigating-satanic-attacks/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z19MHfqpEsA&t=7s


Check out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

May 30, 202512:16
Why Do My Wife and I Keep Having the Same Arguments Part 5 – When Logic Fails and She Just Needs to Feel Safe

Why Do My Wife and I Keep Having the Same Arguments Part 5 – When Logic Fails and She Just Needs to Feel Safe

You’re telling the truth. You’re trying to stay calm. You’re even using logic.

So why is she still upset—and why do you keep ending up in the same exhausting argument?

In Part 5 of this vital series, we explore what happens when your honest efforts to be transparent and reasonable don’t bring your wife the peace she needs. You’ll learn how even the “right answer” can come across as cold, how to stop fueling her fear without abandoning your integrity, and how to finally break the cycle of defensive reactions and relational disconnection.

Key insights:

  • Why logic doesn’t help when your wife’s heart is in survival mode

  • How to stop trying to “win” the conversation and start making her feel safe

  • Why emotional disconnection is the real issue—not whether you remember every detail

  • How judging her emotional responses can destroy trust (even when she’s being “unfair”)

  • The myth that “time alone will fix it”—and what to do instead

If you're tired of walking away from painful conversations asking, “What am I doing wrong when I’m trying so hard?” — this episode is for you.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/rebuilding-trust-in-a-traumatized-relationship-a-spiritual-and-psychological-approach/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvGqOiziaYs


Check out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

May 29, 202512:09
Why Do My Wife and I Keep Having the Same Arguments Part 4 – When She Thinks I’m Lying, and I Honestly Don’t Remember

Why Do My Wife and I Keep Having the Same Arguments Part 4 – When She Thinks I’m Lying, and I Honestly Don’t Remember

“Why would you lie about something like this?”
“Of course you remember—you’re just trying to protect yourself again.”

If your wife has ever pressed you with hard questions about your past behaviors—especially around sexual thoughts or past fantasies—and your honest answer is, “I don’t remember,” this episode is for you.

In Part 4 of this breakthrough series, we unpack one of the most painful points of tension in many marriages: when your wife’s deep need for security crashes into your fractured memory and emotional compartmentalization.

In this episode:

  • Why men often genuinely forget what they’ve fantasized about—and why that feels like betrayal to her

  • How to stop being caught off guard by emotional landmines you didn’t see coming

  • What she really needs when she asks tough questions

  • Why her emotional outbursts are rooted in logic—not manipulation

  • How to prepare emotionally and spiritually for the “truth” conversations without freezing up

  • A new way to approach hard questions with clarity, calm, and integrity

This isn’t about rehearsing answers—it’s about becoming a man she can trust even when the answers are hard. If you’re tired of being accused of lying when you’re doing your best to be honest, you’ll find a lifeline in this episode.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/deals-a-formula-for-happiness/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIGKTWRqqvQ&t=4s


Check out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

May 28, 202511:49
Why Do My Wife and I Keep Having the Same Arguments Part 3 – The Hidden Ways I Sabotage Our Connection Without Realizing It

Why Do My Wife and I Keep Having the Same Arguments Part 3 – The Hidden Ways I Sabotage Our Connection Without Realizing It

“She says I connect better with strangers than I do with her.”
“I’m not cheating. I’m just being nice. Why is that such a big deal?”

If you’ve ever felt caught off guard by your wife’s reactions to your everyday interactions with coworkers, friends, or even casual compliments—this episode is your wake-up call.

In Part 3 of this powerful series, we explore how seemingly innocent connections and conversations can quietly undermine emotional trust and intimacy in marriage. Whether it’s locker room banter at work or praise from someone outside the home, these unexamined behaviors can trigger insecurity and fear in your wife—even if you don’t mean them to.

You’ll learn:

  • Why “harmless” relationships can still sabotage trust

  • What real emotional safety looks like to your wife

  • How craving validation from others keeps you from true recovery

  • Why recovery isn’t just about stopping bad behavior—but building emotional discipline

  • The difference between sobriety and connection—and how to finally rebuild both

  • How empathy for your wife's radar can deactivate the cycle of repeated arguments

This episode is especially for men who are tired of hearing “You just don’t get it”—and are finally ready to understand what she sees that you don’t.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/french-fry-machine-metaphor/


Rather Watch Something? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97Dhfk3DhRk


Check out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

May 27, 202512:09
Why Do My Wife and I Keep Having the Same Arguments Part 2 – What We Both Get Wrong About Sex, Connection, and Intimacy

Why Do My Wife and I Keep Having the Same Arguments Part 2 – What We Both Get Wrong About Sex, Connection, and Intimacy

“She says I’m not connecting—but I don’t even know what that means.”
“I do all the things. Why does she still feel unloved?”

If your marriage feels like a loop of frustration—especially around connection, sex, and emotional intimacy—this episode gets to the root of it.

In Part 2 of this honest series, we dismantle some of the biggest myths that keep couples stuck in unproductive arguments and unmet needs. From porn addiction recovery to misunderstandings about what emotional connection actually looks like, this episode is a roadmap for men trying to reconnect with their wives without losing their sanity.

You’ll learn:

  • Why “more sex” (or total celibacy) won’t fix porn addiction

  • How many men confuse service with intimacy—and why it isn’t enough

  • Why your wife may still feel unloved even if you're doing everything “right”

  • What real connection looks like and why it usually starts with giving, not receiving

  • The silent sabotage of seemingly harmless outside “connections” (yes, even friendly ones)

  • How to break the myth that it’s your wife’s job to validate your progress

This episode is about rebuilding from the inside—so you can finally start understanding why you keep having the same arguments and how to move forward.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/improving-intimacy-in-your-marriage/


Rather Watch Something? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybqzJ039vw4&t=3s


Check out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

May 26, 202511:50
Why Do My Wife and I Keep Having the Same Arguments Part 1 – When “Love” and “Support” Mean Different Things

Why Do My Wife and I Keep Having the Same Arguments Part 1 – When “Love” and “Support” Mean Different Things

Why do we keep fighting about the same things—even when we both say we’re trying?
Why does she say I’m not supportive… when I know I am?

In Part 1 of this powerful new series, we break down one of the most frustrating patterns in marriage: recurring arguments over misunderstood definitions. Whether it’s about love, support, connection, or emotional safety—too many couples use the same words but mean totally different things.

This episode reveals:

  • Why your wife feels unsupported even when you're doing your best

  • How conflicting definitions of “love,” “support,” and “respect” cause emotional gridlock

  • What men can learn from measuring systems like inches and centimeters

  • How to lead the rebuilding process by standardizing communication

  • What real emotional recovery looks like (hint: it’s not just more sex or total celibacy)

  • Why confusion, not laziness, causes most husbands to shut down

If you’re ready to stop spinning in circles and start actually connecting, this is the conversation that unlocks the door.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/supportingresponding-to-spouse-husband/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iefBWa0iybo&t=1s


Check out Life Changing Services: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/

May 25, 202511:49
How Can I Rebuild Emotional and Verbal Intimacy With My Wife Part 4 – What She’s Really Asking When She Says “Do You Even Care?”

How Can I Rebuild Emotional and Verbal Intimacy With My Wife Part 4 – What She’s Really Asking When She Says “Do You Even Care?”

Why does she keep saying I’m not working on myself—even when I feel like I’m trying?
Why does every conversation feel like another reminder that I’m “not enough” yet?

In this brutally honest and empowering episode, we break down the hidden meaning behind your wife’s pain—and the real reason she keeps asking for your “feelings” instead of your progress reports. It’s not about crying or poetry. It’s about making her feel safe enough to stop worrying about your growth.

In Part 4 of our intimacy series, we explore:

  • What emotional intimacy actually looks like for a man

  • How to talk about your growth in a way she understands and trusts

  • Why her “boundaries” might feel like cinder blocks (and how to respond with courage)

  • The powerful difference between sharing emotion and sharing progress

  • Why your wife isn’t asking for perfection—but for a predictable process

  • What to do when you're overwhelmed by the pressure to "fix yourself fast"

This is about learning to lead—not just the house, but your own growth—so your wife doesn’t have to beg for reassurance anymore.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/the-piess-of-self-care/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iefBWa0iybo&t=1s


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

May 24, 202516:49
How Can I Rebuild Emotional and Verbal Intimacy With My Wife? Part 3 – Why She Keeps Asking “How Do You Feel About That?”

How Can I Rebuild Emotional and Verbal Intimacy With My Wife? Part 3 – Why She Keeps Asking “How Do You Feel About That?”

“Why does she keep saying I’m emotionally unavailable?”
“Why can’t she just accept that I am trying—even if I don’t cry or say all the right words?”

In Part 3 of this powerful series on rebuilding emotional and verbal intimacy, we dive into the real reasons why connection keeps falling short—even when you’re putting in the effort. This episode tackles the confusing gap between what you do and how she feels about what you’re doing—and why your silence (even if unintentional) can still sound loud.

We’ll explore:

  • Why emotional intimacy always starts with the man—even when it feels unfair

  • What to do when your wife’s “boundaries” feel more like cinder blocks

  • The difference between talking about something and sharing how you feel about it

  • How to answer, “What are you feeling?” when your brain goes blank

  • Why she needs more than your notes, your podcast summaries, and your intentions

  • How to develop emotional vocabulary when you’ve never had one

  • What it means to show effort, not just to be a good man, but to feel like one

This is the episode for men who are done avoiding emotional conversations—but still need the tools to survive them.

Want to read more about this topic? https://www.lifechangingservices.org/the-battle-of-perspectives-laman-nephi-and-the-power-of-faith/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfBZj-uCiGI&t=6s


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

May 23, 202516:07
How Can I Rebuild Emotional and Verbal Intimacy With My Wife? Part 2 – Why “Talking” Isn’t Working (And What Actually Builds Connection)

How Can I Rebuild Emotional and Verbal Intimacy With My Wife? Part 2 – Why “Talking” Isn’t Working (And What Actually Builds Connection)

“Why does every conversation with my wife feel like a trap?”
“Why can’t my husband say what I need to hear without shutting down or sounding robotic?”

This episode dives deeper into the real work of rebuilding intimacy—the kind that actually leads to connection instead of frustration. Verbal intimacy isn't about having a conversation. It's about creating a space where both partners feel safe enough to be real—and where the relationship can grow again.

We’ll unpack:

  • Why your wife’s emotional state can completely block intimacy—and how to tell if she’s ready

  • How to stop “fixing” and start “warming” the space between you

  • What cognitive intimacy is, and why it matters more than being “good at talking”

  • Why faking depth won’t work—and why five months of quiet prep makes all the difference

  • What it actually means to show up with a real marital mission and identity statement

  • How the DAR cycle (Discover, Act, Reflect) builds authentic emotional connection

If you’re tired of feeling like every attempt to connect is met with distance, silence, or shutdowns, this episode is for you.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/the-advanced-reflective-listening-tool/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPfx3YFV2nI


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

May 22, 202512:13
How Can I Rebuild Emotional and Verbal Intimacy With My Wife? Part 1 – When “Fix Yourself” Feels Like a Moving Target

How Can I Rebuild Emotional and Verbal Intimacy With My Wife? Part 1 – When “Fix Yourself” Feels Like a Moving Target

“Why does my wife keep pointing out what’s wrong with me—can’t she see I’m trying?”
“Why is it so hard to talk to my husband without feeling dismissed, frustrated, or shut down?”

In this vulnerable and foundational episode, we open the door to the most difficult—yet vital—season of marriage repair: rebuilding emotional and verbal intimacy. Not with shallow tricks or surface-level “communication hacks,” but by learning what it really takes to create and protect emotional safety in your relationship.

We explore:

  • Why her emotional “check engine light” isn’t an attack—it’s a request for safety

  • How to know if you're emotionally and spiritually ready for verbal intimacy

  • Why “just getting it over with” never works and often causes more harm

  • The difference between humiliation and humility for men in marriage growth

  • Why being “goal-oriented” might be sabotaging your ability to connect

  • The power of pre-checklists before you “take off” into hard conversations

This is the episode for the man who’s trying—but keeps hearing it’s not enough. And for the woman wondering why he keeps retreating when all she wants is connection.

Want to read more about this topic? https://www.lifechangingservices.org/deals-a-formula-for-happiness/


Rather Watch Something? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xv-xlD0Z0s4


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

May 21, 202511:55
How Can I Apply Spiritual and Personal Development Principles to Real Life? Part 5 – What If the Passion Project Is Your Messy, Overwhelming Life?

How Can I Apply Spiritual and Personal Development Principles to Real Life? Part 5 – What If the Passion Project Is Your Messy, Overwhelming Life?

“Why does my wife keep asking me to ‘work on myself’ when I already feel buried?”
“How am I supposed to grow spiritually when life is already overwhelming?”

In Part 5, we break through a painful and often misunderstood tension in marriage and personal growth: when one partner feels like they’re drowning in responsibility, and the other just wants them to “get better.”

This episode brings clarity to:

  • Why your current life may already be your God-given passion project

  • How to know if you're chasing unrealistic goals while missing your divine assignments

  • The lie that says “you’re not doing enough” just because you’re not doing more

  • Why passion projects don’t require extra time, but they do require extra intention

  • How to invite God’s power into the chaos of parenting, partnership, and pressure

If you’ve ever thought, “My life is too full to add anything else,” this is the conversation you didn’t know you needed.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/sons-of-helaman-the-faith-based-self-mastery-program-transforming-lives/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdCVMyrcd7c


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

May 20, 202515:02
How Can I Apply Spiritual and Personal Development Principles to Real Life? Part 4 – Why Your Wife Doesn’t Trust Your “Growth” (And What You’re Still Missing)

How Can I Apply Spiritual and Personal Development Principles to Real Life? Part 4 – Why Your Wife Doesn’t Trust Your “Growth” (And What You’re Still Missing)

“Why doesn’t she believe I’ve changed?”
“Why does it feel like every step forward is met with more doubt, more questions, and more pain?”

In Part 4 of How Can I Apply Spiritual and Personal Development Principles to Real Life?, we take a deep dive into the moment every husband dreads: when his efforts don’t seem to matter—and his wife still sees a man she doesn’t feel safe trusting.

This episode uncovers:

  • Why your “good intentions” aren’t enough to rebuild credibility

  • How to stop hiding behind shallow improvements and start leading real change

  • The surprising reason you must involve a team in your personal development

  • Why isolation feeds shame, and collaboration creates momentum

  • The role of divine intervention in building something bigger than your broken past

You’ll also learn what real miracles look like—not just in theory, but in your life—and how the lie “you’re too messed up to be part of something great” is Satan’s favorite sabotage.

It’s time to stop trying to earn your wife’s trust… and start building something she can believe in.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/rebuilding-trust-in-a-traumatized-relationship-a-spiritual-and-psychological-approach/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5wPvF8YD0w&t=2s


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

May 19, 202514:25
How Can I Apply Spiritual and Personal Development Principles to Real Life? Part 3 – Why My Wife’s Disappointments Keep Growing (And What I’m Missing About Real Change)

How Can I Apply Spiritual and Personal Development Principles to Real Life? Part 3 – Why My Wife’s Disappointments Keep Growing (And What I’m Missing About Real Change)

"Why is she still upset after all the things I’ve tried to change?"
"And if I’m trying to fix myself, why does it feel like nothing is ever good enough?"

In this episode of Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher, we uncover a painful truth: most husbands are working hard—but working on the wrong things. If your wife keeps bringing up issues no matter how much you improve, it’s likely because you’re setting goals… when you need a Passion Project.

We’ll break down:

  • Why surface-level improvements never restore emotional trust

  • The critical difference between a "goal" and a God-powered Passion Project

  • What miracles actually look like in personal development—and how to expect them

  • How Satan quietly convinces men they’re incapable of deep change

  • Why your wife's endless concerns might be valid… and how to organize them into a blueprint for transformation

You’ll also hear the miraculous origin story of a brotherhood that helped thousands of young men find purpose, purity, and power—not by talking about problems, but by fighting for passion-driven change.

This isn’t self-help. It’s soul-help.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/reacting-to-toxic-people/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIV8zMKmT5s


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

May 18, 202512:09
How Can I Apply Spiritual and Personal Development Principles to Real Life? Part 2 – Why Fixing Myself Feels Hopeless (Until This Shift)

How Can I Apply Spiritual and Personal Development Principles to Real Life? Part 2 – Why Fixing Myself Feels Hopeless (Until This Shift)

“Why does my wife keep pointing out what I still haven’t fixed?”
“Why do I feel stuck—even when I’m trying to change?”
“And what’s the point of setting goals if I keep falling short anyway?”

In this deeply honest episode of Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher, we cut through the frustration of stalled self-improvement and the emotional exhaustion of “being the problem” in your marriage. If you’ve ever felt like your wife’s list of concerns is endless—and your progress invisible—this episode reframes everything.

You’ll discover:

  • Why goals don’t inspire lasting change—but Passion Projects do

  • Why your transformation must require miracles or it isn’t real growth

  • How to partner with God in your personal development (for real)

  • The reason "fixing yourself" is exhausting—and how to finally feel energized instead

  • How to identify satanic attacks that sabotage your confidence mid-process

  • Why you’ve been disqualifying yourself from success without knowing it

If you've been trying harder but feeling more hopeless, this episode might be your turning point. You're not broken. You’ve just been missing the divine upgrade system that actually works.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/working-on-emotional-intimacy-discussing-the-past/


Rather Watch Something? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8N8_vssS_iw&t=1s


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

May 17, 202512:02
How Can I Apply Spiritual and Personal Development Principles to Real Life? Part 1 – What’s Blocking My Progress (and How Do I Actually Change?)

How Can I Apply Spiritual and Personal Development Principles to Real Life? Part 1 – What’s Blocking My Progress (and How Do I Actually Change?)

“Why do I feel like I’m trying so hard, but still stuck?”
“Why does my wife keep pointing out everything I haven’t fixed yet?”
“And if I am growing, why doesn’t it seem like enough—for her or for me?”

Welcome to Part 1 of a bold new series from Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher that bridges the gap between spiritual principles and real-life change—where we stop just learning about personal development and start applying it to what matters most: your mind, your marriage, and your mission.

In this episode, we’ll uncover:

  • Why men get spiritually overloaded but emotionally paralyzed

  • How to handle the real reason your wife keeps pointing out what’s not fixed

  • The secret cost of setting small goals—and how it kills hope

  • How Satan gradually convinces good men to expect less of themselves

  • Why having “too much passion energy” with nowhere to aim it leads to relapse

  • The scientific and spiritual framework that lets you say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant”—daily

You weren’t meant to live in disappointment. You were built for miracles.
Let’s stop settling for survival—and start structuring a system that works.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/early-intervention/


Rather Watch Something? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCgUB5AclmE


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

May 16, 202512:24
How Do I Rebuild Emotional Intimacy with My Wife? Part 5 – Why She Keeps Bringing Up the Past (and What to Do About It)

How Do I Rebuild Emotional Intimacy with My Wife? Part 5 – Why She Keeps Bringing Up the Past (and What to Do About It)

"Why does she keep bringing it up?"
"Why can’t we just move on already?"
"If I’ve changed, why does she act like nothing’s changed at all?"

In Part 5 of How Do I Rebuild Emotional Intimacy with My Wife, we tackle one of the most painful and confusing moments for men trying to lead their marriage back from the edge: her persistent need to revisit the past—even when you feel like you're doing better.

This episode is a roadmap for men ready to lead with strength instead of shame. You'll learn:

  • What an emotional "walkthrough" looks like—and why most men fail it

  • How to perform a "black box review" of your past without getting swallowed by guilt

  • Why hiding your personal development plan is destroying her trust

  • How to build a visible, manly blueprint for emotional safety—and how to show her the work

  • What makes her stop asking the same questions over and over again

If you’re tired of being caught off guard every time she brings up “that thing from 3 years ago,” this episode will finally give you tools, not just talk—so you can prove change without performing.

Want to read more about this topic? https://www.lifechangingservices.org/working-on-emotional-intimacy-discussing-the-past/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmuR0h6NXGY


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

May 15, 202512:31
How Do I Rebuild Emotional Intimacy with My Wife? Part 4 – Why She Still Doesn’t Feel Safe, Even When You’ve Changed

How Do I Rebuild Emotional Intimacy with My Wife? Part 4 – Why She Still Doesn’t Feel Safe, Even When You’ve Changed

You’ve repented. You’ve changed. You’ve said the right things. So why does your wife still act like she’s waiting for the other shoe to drop?

In Part 4 of How Do I Rebuild Emotional Intimacy with My Wife?, we unpack one of the most frustrating disconnects in marriage recovery: why your internal transformation doesn’t seem to land emotionally with your wife—and what to do about it.

Inside this episode:

  • Why silence looks like emotional abandonment (even if you’re thinking about her)

  • How to express real emotion without crying or acting dramatic

  • What she actually means when she says “you don’t show emotion”

  • Why saying what you’re afraid to feel might be the most intimate thing you’ve ever done

  • How a 5-minute timer can reveal what (and who) really occupies your mind

This is the real work—learning how to verbalize your thoughts, face your fears, and take your internal care and make it visible. If your wife still feels emotionally alone in the marriage, this episode will change everything.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/and-she-did-stand-in-her-truth-2/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSa5D_LIO4s&t=1s


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

May 14, 202512:37
How Do I Rebuild Emotional Intimacy with My Wife? Part 3 – Why She Still Feels Unloved Even When You’re Doing Everything “Right”

How Do I Rebuild Emotional Intimacy with My Wife? Part 3 – Why She Still Feels Unloved Even When You’re Doing Everything “Right”

You work hard. You show up. You’ve stopped doing the wrong things and started doing the right ones. But somehow, your wife still says she doesn’t feel loved.
She says you’re robotic. Emotionless. That you only care about work or money.

So why doesn’t all your effort seem to count?

In Part 3 of this powerful series, we break down one of the biggest misunderstandings in rebuilding emotional intimacy: how men think they’re showing love vs. how their wives experience it.

Inside this episode:

  • Why doing the “right” things isn’t enough if you’re not narrating your thoughts

  • How a man’s silence can make him look careless—even when he’s deeply invested

  • A masculine way to show emotional investment without forcing tears

  • Why unspoken effort often feels invisible to your wife

  • How setting a 5-minute timer can completely shift how connected she feels to you

Rebuilding intimacy doesn’t require emotional theatrics. It requires visible, verbal care. Learn how to speak what you’re already thinking—and finally let her feel what you’ve always meant.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/circus-mirrors-and-feedback-sessions/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiWm9KuATGM


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

May 13, 202512:20
How Do I Rebuild Emotional Intimacy with My Wife? Part 2 – Why “Saying the Right Things” Still Isn’t Enough

How Do I Rebuild Emotional Intimacy with My Wife? Part 2 – Why “Saying the Right Things” Still Isn’t Enough

May 12, 202511:58
How Do I Rebuild Emotional Intimacy with My Wife? Part 1 – Why Season Four Is the Hardest Step Most Men Skip

How Do I Rebuild Emotional Intimacy with My Wife? Part 1 – Why Season Four Is the Hardest Step Most Men Skip

May 11, 202511:57
Why Does My Forward Progress Sometimes Cause Emotional Whiplash in My Wife? Part 4 – The Myth of “It’s Just My Story”

Why Does My Forward Progress Sometimes Cause Emotional Whiplash in My Wife? Part 4 – The Myth of “It’s Just My Story”

May 10, 202511:30
Why Does My Forward Progress Sometimes Cause Emotional Whiplash in My Wife? Part 3 – The Art of Inviting Her Into the Process

Why Does My Forward Progress Sometimes Cause Emotional Whiplash in My Wife? Part 3 – The Art of Inviting Her Into the Process

May 09, 202510:52
Why Does My Forward Progress Sometimes Cause Emotional Whiplash in My Wife? Part 2 – Inviting Her into the Journey

Why Does My Forward Progress Sometimes Cause Emotional Whiplash in My Wife? Part 2 – Inviting Her into the Journey

May 08, 202511:41
Why Does My Forward Progress Sometimes Cause Emotional Whiplash in My Wife? Part 1 – Understanding the Disconnect

Why Does My Forward Progress Sometimes Cause Emotional Whiplash in My Wife? Part 1 – Understanding the Disconnect

May 07, 202511:41
How Can I Talk to My Spouse About My Growth and Triggers in a Way That Builds Trust? Part 5 – Why She’s Pushing Before I’m Ready

How Can I Talk to My Spouse About My Growth and Triggers in a Way That Builds Trust? Part 5 – Why She’s Pushing Before I’m Ready

You’ve been quietly working on yourself. You're reviewing the past, building stronger habits, and doing the deep work—but the moment your wife senses progress, she wants emotional intimacy now.

And you’re not ready.

This episode dives into one of the most overlooked struggles in marriage repair: how to lead the relationship forward when you're still in the middle of your personal growth—and she's already asking for more than you can give.

Learn:

  • Why emotional intimacy requires a tested, not rushed, structure

  • How to communicate “I’m not ready yet” in a way that builds trust

  • The biggest mistake wives often make in rebuilding, and how to respond with grace

  • What it means to build an “invisible airplane”—and why she won’t believe it’s real until she sees it fly

  • How to show your inner work when she can’t see the results (yet)

  • Why paper practice (like D-PARs) prepares your mouth for real conversations

If you’ve ever felt like your wife is asking for connection before your internal system is stable enough to support it—this episode is for you.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/french-fry-machine-metaphor/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4xkLIW4zM4&t=1s


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

May 06, 202508:21
How Can I Talk to My Spouse About My Growth and Triggers in a Way That Builds Trust? Part 4 – Why She Doesn’t Believe Me (Yet)

How Can I Talk to My Spouse About My Growth and Triggers in a Way That Builds Trust? Part 4 – Why She Doesn’t Believe Me (Yet)

“I’ve changed. I’ve worked hard. So why doesn’t she trust me yet?”

In Part 4 of this essential series, we unpack the real reason why your wife may still carry pain—even after you’ve put in months of work. Emotional intimacy isn’t about looking strong. It’s about being reliable when tested. Just like a bridge under pressure, trust is built not by appearance but by how much it holds up when life hits hard.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why your wife’s pain doesn’t vanish just because you’ve improved

  • How real trust is built by sledgehammer-tested systems, not pretty words

  • The purpose of emotional intimacy and what not to expect in return

  • How to walk her through your growth without needing her approval

  • The crucial difference between a “full disclosure” and real emotional rebuilding

  • What it looks like to lead without shortcuts—even when you're tired

If you’re a man trying to rebuild trust with a woman who’s been hurt, this is your roadmap.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/the-battle-of-perspectives-laman-nephi-and-the-power-of-faith/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9kqP6p5Qw0


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

May 05, 202508:39
How Can I Talk to My Spouse About My Growth and Triggers in a Way That Builds Trust? Part 3 – What If She Still Thinks I Haven’t Changed?

How Can I Talk to My Spouse About My Growth and Triggers in a Way That Builds Trust? Part 3 – What If She Still Thinks I Haven’t Changed?

You’ve put in six months of work. You’ve grown. You’ve changed. But it still feels like she looks at you like the same guy who messed up. Why?

In Part 3 of this powerful series, we confront the painful disconnect that happens when you're doing deep inner work—but your spouse doesn’t acknowledge it. You want trust, connection, and a fresh start... but you’re stuck in the shadows of who you used to be.

This episode covers:

  • Why emotional intimacy feels like hitting the Rocky Mountains of marriage repair

  • How to handle it when she doesn’t believe you’ve changed—even if you have

  • What it really means to “go first” in rebuilding trust

  • Why you must treat her like she’s grown, too—even when you can’t see it

  • The hidden weight of connection that most couples overlook

  • And how to stop waiting for validation and start standing confidently in your growth

This is not about waiting to be rewarded. It’s about becoming the kind of man who leads with patience, strength, and emotional skill—even when it feels thankless.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/adhd-blog-comorbidities/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5S67HKpKUaA&t=3s


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

May 04, 202508:31
How Can I Talk to My Spouse About My Growth and Triggers in a Way That Builds Trust? Part 2 – When She Thinks It’s All Your Fault, but You’re the One Doing the Work

How Can I Talk to My Spouse About My Growth and Triggers in a Way That Builds Trust? Part 2 – When She Thinks It’s All Your Fault, but You’re the One Doing the Work

You’re showing up. You’re doing the work. You're learning emotional skills she never saw you try before. So why does it still feel like she thinks you’re the whole problem?

In Part 2 of this raw and insightful series, we explore the honest struggle of men trying to grow emotionally while still being treated like the villain. This episode unpacks the quiet frustration of hearing, “You’re the one who needs to fix yourself,” even when you know both sides need work.

Inside, we cover:

  • Why taking the lead first (even if she’s not ready) is still the only way forward

  • The real reason it works better when men initiate emotional conversations

  • How to keep moving forward when it feels like you’re carrying the whole marriage on your back

  • What to do when your wife is trying too—but it doesn’t look like progress

  • Why practicing verbal and emotional intimacy as a skill set unlocks lasting connection

  • How to stop waiting for fairness and start winning the long game

This isn't about pretending she's perfect. It's about stepping into your role with clarity and conviction—even if she never acknowledges it.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/rebuilding-trust-a-husbands-guide-to-understanding-and-healing-betrayal-trauma/


Rather Watch Something? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46NgumKJi4E


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

May 03, 202510:04
How Can I Talk to My Spouse About My Growth and Triggers? Part 1 – When Owning Your Side Changes Everything

How Can I Talk to My Spouse About My Growth and Triggers? Part 1 – When Owning Your Side Changes Everything

Are you trying to grow, be more self-aware, and build emotional trust—only to feel like the conversations still spiral into conflict?

This episode of Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher is for husbands who are genuinely trying… but keep hitting a wall. It's also for wives who long to feel emotionally safe but aren’t sure if their husband can hold space for hard conversations without getting defensive.

In Part 1 of this powerful new series, we cover:

  • Why preparing for emotional intimacy is like packing for the Rocky Mountains

  • How owning your own triggers—without blaming hers—builds trust fast

  • Why your wife may struggle to believe you’re “ready” (and how to prove it through actions)

  • The miracle of you starting the hard conversations instead of waiting for her

  • The power of pre-planning responses to predictable emotional landmines

  • How to stop expecting her to make things easier—and rise as a skill-based responder

This isn’t about blaming you for everything. It’s about stepping into your power by doing what only you can do—and watching what happens when emotional safety finally enters the room.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/embracing-the-role-of-an-effective-presider/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBPs-VsmZTo


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

May 02, 202510:08
Why Do I Feel Weak or Broken for Needing Support? Part 5 – When My Efforts Still Don’t Feel “Enough”

Why Do I Feel Weak or Broken for Needing Support? Part 5 – When My Efforts Still Don’t Feel “Enough”

Is your wife overwhelmed, overstimulated, or emotionally drained—and even when you do try to help, it feels like you're still falling short?

In Part 5 of this raw and practical series, we dive into the hidden weight men often carry: the belief that needing support means you're not strong enough. That you should already have it figured out. That if your wife is struggling, it must be your fault—or your job to fix it.

In this episode, you'll hear:

  • Why trying to “fix her feelings” often backfires

  • How shared vulnerability can create spiritual intimacy

  • Why your wife's struggles don’t mean you're failing

  • The difference between offering support and hijacking her growth

  • How true partnership means honoring her revelation—not replacing it

You'll also hear real experiences of women learning how to ask for support without handing over the steering wheel—and how their husbands showed up with empathy, not solutions.

This episode is for men feeling the pressure to be everything… and for couples learning that true intimacy comes through mutual discovery—not control.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/the-battle-of-perspectives-laman-nephi-and-the-power-of-faith/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfNQYddKqtM


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

May 01, 202513:11
Why Do I Feel Weak or Broken for Needing Support? Part 4 – Why Her Pain Doesn’t Mean You’re Failing

Why Do I Feel Weak or Broken for Needing Support? Part 4 – Why Her Pain Doesn’t Mean You’re Failing

Is your wife overwhelmed, frustrated, and constantly emotionally charged—and you’re left wondering, “How is this all my fault again?”

In Part 4 of this vulnerable and vital series, we explore the weight men feel when their wives are drowning in pain… and expect them to fix it.

This episode pulls back the curtain on:

  • Why her distress doesn’t mean you’ve failed

  • How to support someone without losing yourself

  • What makes a real emotional team (hint: it's not being her spiritual crutch)

  • Why curiosity and creativity beat judgment every time

  • How your willingness to listen without “fixing” can be the greatest act of love

You’ll also hear a powerful personal story of a woman who finally broke down about her overstimulation and daily guilt as a mom—and how her husband didn’t solve it… but showed up the way she actually needed.

This episode is for men who are done with shame, but still want to grow. It’s for wives who just need someone to hear them. And it’s for couples who are learning to walk side by side—through fire, fatigue, and faith.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/gingerbread-man-parable-anger-pain-management/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DSJOxHm1h0


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

Apr 30, 202512:08
Why Do I Feel Weak or Broken for Needing Support? Part 3 – Creating Safe Teams Without Shame

Why Do I Feel Weak or Broken for Needing Support? Part 3 – Creating Safe Teams Without Shame

Ever tried to open up, only to feel judged the moment you do?

In Part 3 of this heartfelt series, we dive into one of the most uncomfortable truths for many men (and their wives): vulnerability often feels like weakness—and the minute you expose even a little of your inner self, you feel like someone’s critiquing your very soul.

This episode uncovers the emotional landmines of trying to grow while being watched, and how even well-meaning feedback can crush progress.

We explore:

  • Why most men fear support—even when they crave it

  • How “feedback” can backfire and damage trust

  • What real teamwork looks like between spouses, parents and teens

  • How to model emotional safety before expecting it

  • What it means to “invite” your wife or child into growth without superiority

  • Why reflecting aloud—without correction—can build trust faster than lectures

If you’ve ever tried to be open… only to get met with “why’d you pick that?”—this one’s for you.

You’re not weak for needing support. You’re wise for seeking it—when it's built with trust, not judgment.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/sons-of-helaman-the-faith-based-self-mastery-program-transforming-lives/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ohQCiqAEzM&t=3s


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

Apr 29, 202511:01
Why Do I Feel Weak or Broken for Needing Support? Part 2 – Reclaiming Teamwork Without Shame

Why Do I Feel Weak or Broken for Needing Support? Part 2 – Reclaiming Teamwork Without Shame

Let’s be honest—most of us were never taught how to ask for support without feeling like we’re broken.

From early on, we’ve been conditioned to believe that if we need help, we’re failing. That if we can’t “handle it all,” we’re just not strong enough. So when someone mentions an accountability partner, our defenses go up—because it feels like a label for the weak.

In Part 2 of this powerful Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher series, we deconstruct that entire mindset. We explore how the right kind of support isn’t about hierarchy or shame—it’s about building edifying, equal partnerships where both people grow.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why “accountability” often feels insulting—and what to use instead

  • How to use the Power D-PAR system to track growth and stay spiritually aligned

  • What true team-based connection looks like in a marriage or mentorship

  • Why feedback can backfire—and what to do instead

  • How to invite your spouse or a teammate into mutual, uplifting development

This isn’t about weakness—it’s about wisdom. Real growth doesn’t happen alone. It happens in teams. And in this episode, we show you exactly how to build one.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/taming-your-dangerous-emotions-and-reclaiming-your-power/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNc4vXsN9VU&t=1s


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

Apr 28, 202512:34
Why Do I Feel Weak or Broken for Needing Support? Part 1 – Breaking the Myth of Lone-Wolf Strength

Why Do I Feel Weak or Broken for Needing Support? Part 1 – Breaking the Myth of Lone-Wolf Strength

“Real men do it alone.”
“If I need help, I must be weak.”
“I’m supposed to be strong enough to carry it all—without breaking.”

Sound familiar?

In this powerful episode of Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher, we dismantle one of the most dangerous lies ever told to men: that needing support makes you weak.

You’ll discover:

  • Why so many men feel shame for needing accountability—and why that shame is Satan’s trap

  • How our culture subtly reinforces the myth of self-sufficiency, and what it costs emotionally and spiritually

  • The truth about what real spiritual resilience looks like—and how it's built with support, not isolation

  • How to start replacing false guilt with strategic connection and intelligent preparation

  • What it means to fight one battle at a time, and why that’s more effective than solving everything at once

If you’ve ever felt broken because you “couldn’t do it alone,” this episode will change how you see yourself—and give you a battle plan grounded in truth, faith, and growth.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/sons-of-helaman-the-faith-based-self-mastery-program-transforming-lives/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RH4C8SiqGGo


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

Apr 27, 202512:18
Why Does Everything Seem to Go Well at First… But Then Spiral Out of Control? Part 4 – How to Stay Steady When She Thinks You’re Running Away

Why Does Everything Seem to Go Well at First… But Then Spiral Out of Control? Part 4 – How to Stay Steady When She Thinks You’re Running Away

You stayed calm. You tried to step away with grace.
But somehow, she still says, “You’re just running away again.”

How does a man stay composed when even his best efforts get twisted?
How do you prepare for conversations that go sideways—even when you come in with love and intention?

In this powerful continuation of our deep-dive into verbal intimacy breakdowns, we explore the real reason spirals keep happening—even when you’re doing everything “right.” You'll discover:

  • Why your most respectful exit still gets interpreted as weakness

  • How to see past the immediate pain and recognize who the real enemy is

  • What it means to emotionally “spar” like a trained fighter—with precision, grace, and preparation

  • How to blueprint your responses to her most difficult patterns (without trying to control her)

  • Why success in marriage repair isn’t about changing her—but about being prepared for anything

Whether she’s accusing you of giving up, or you’re wondering how to even stay in the ring without getting crushed—this episode gives you a new model for staying emotionally grounded and spiritually focused.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/our-support-system/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKG5Tpv7aPE


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

Apr 26, 202513:41
Why Does Everything Seem to Go Well at First… But Then Spiral Out of Control? Part 3 – What If the Real Problem Isn’t You or Her?

Why Does Everything Seem to Go Well at First… But Then Spiral Out of Control? Part 3 – What If the Real Problem Isn’t You or Her?

You kept your cool. You stayed patient. You even had a great moment together.

So why did it still fall apart?
Why does it feel like something invisible hijacks the whole conversation—and suddenly you're the villain in a story you don’t even recognize?

In this powerful episode, we unpack one of the most overlooked forces in marriage repair: the third presence in the room—and how uninvited spiritual attacks twist even our best efforts into chaos.

Discover:

  • Why verbal intimacy can disintegrate even after a perfect start

  • What happens neurologically and spiritually when emotions hit level one

  • How to recognize satanic narratives whispering lies about your wife—and yourself

  • What it looks like to build a pre-scripted plan for spiritual and emotional resilience

  • And how to reflect without falling into shame traps or walking away from growth

If your wife is constantly asking, “Why do you always run away from these conversations?” and you're asking yourself, “Why do I always end up being the problem—no matter how hard I try?” —this episode is your lifeline.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/letter-to-my-returned-missionary-self/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCo1tcBpyBc&t=4s


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

Apr 25, 202512:28
Why Does Everything Seem to Go Well at First… But Then Spiral Out of Control? Part 1 – The Battle, the Misunderstanding, and the Breakdowns We Never Saw Coming

Why Does Everything Seem to Go Well at First… But Then Spiral Out of Control? Part 1 – The Battle, the Misunderstanding, and the Breakdowns We Never Saw Coming

You finally get some momentum. Conversations go smoother. She's smiling again. You’re doing your part—and it seems like you’re headed in the right direction.

Then out of nowhere… everything blows up again.
What happened? Where did it go wrong?

In Part 1 of this new series, Maurice introduces one of the most emotionally relatable breakdowns men experience in marriage repair: when progress falls apart suddenly, and you're left feeling confused, attacked, and defeated.

Using a brilliantly reimagined story from ancient scripture (with a humorous twist), we explore how distorted messages, assumptions, and emotional exhaustion can sabotage both husband and wife—even when both are trying to do the right thing.

If you’ve ever felt blindsided by a sudden spiral in your relationship, this episode helps you identify:

  • What caused the misunderstanding

  • Why things escalate when you're depleted

  • How assumptions corrode even the best efforts

  • And what it takes to end the cycle before it starts again

It’s not just a story. It’s the spiritual, emotional, and practical playbook for those asking:
"Why does it always fall apart right when things start to feel okay?"

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/thought-sequencing-a-step-towards-self-mastery/


Rather Watch Something? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ohQCiqAEzM&t=3s


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

Apr 23, 202513:10
Why Do I Feel Like I’m Doing Everything She Asks For, It's Never Enough? Part 5 – Rations, Resentment, and the Power of Consecration in Marriage

Why Do I Feel Like I’m Doing Everything She Asks For, It's Never Enough? Part 5 – Rations, Resentment, and the Power of Consecration in Marriage

You’re giving your all.
You're showing up, staying patient, checking off the list…
But she’s still frustrated, still doesn’t feel filled, and you’re left wondering:
“What more could I possibly give?”

In Part 5, we go deep into the painful cycle where both spouses feel empty, where needs aren't being met, and where resentment starts to grow on both sides.

Maurice walks us through a powerful metaphor—the Bishop’s Storehouse in week one of the pioneer era—to explain how marriages survive when both partners are depleted. This episode reveals how emotional scarcity leads to desperate demands, and how to stop measuring your value by the needs you can’t meet.

We explore:

  • Why your efforts still feel unseen

  • How her desperation isn’t manipulation—it’s survival

  • Why not having what she needs doesn’t mean you’re failing

  • And how to build a relationship that thrives on consecration, not consumption

If you've ever asked, "Why does it feel like no matter what I do, it’s never enough?"—this is the episode that reframes the whole question.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/what-is-betrayal-trauma-how-does-it-impact-me/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjixUFwtWRM


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

Apr 22, 202514:37
Why Do I Feel Like I’m Doing Everything She Asks For, It's Never Enough? Part 4 – When Her Panic Feels Like Pressure and You Still Come Up Short

Why Do I Feel Like I’m Doing Everything She Asks For, It's Never Enough? Part 4 – When Her Panic Feels Like Pressure and You Still Come Up Short

Apr 21, 202513:28
Why Do I Feel Like I’m Doing Everything She Asks For, and It’s Never Enough? Part 3 – When “Meeting Her Needs” Still Leaves You Both Empty

Why Do I Feel Like I’m Doing Everything She Asks For, and It’s Never Enough? Part 3 – When “Meeting Her Needs” Still Leaves You Both Empty

Apr 20, 202511:27
Why Do I Feel Like I’m Doing Everything She Asks For, and It’s Never Enough? Part 2 – When Progress Doesn’t Look Like Repair

Why Do I Feel Like I’m Doing Everything She Asks For, and It’s Never Enough? Part 2 – When Progress Doesn’t Look Like Repair

You’ve followed the steps.
You’ve rebuilt your identity.
You’ve even invited her back to the construction site of your relationship.
But she still doesn’t trust it.
She still doesn’t join.
And deep down you’re wondering… “What’s the point of all this work if she’s not coming with me?”

In Part 2 of Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher, we unpack why rebuilding trust and connection doesn’t happen just because you’re trying.
Maurice breaks down the "seasons of marriage" model and reveals the painful truth: you might be progressing—but that doesn’t mean she’s healed.

Learn why Season Four work is more than duct tape repair. It's a complete meltdown and remolding of who you are. Discover the hidden dangers of diagnosing her recovery for her, and how inviting her without pressuring her is one of the most respectful (and difficult) steps a man can take.

This episode is for the man who's trying—really trying—but feels like the finish line keeps moving.
Because sometimes, progress doesn’t feel like repair… but it still matters.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/overriding-fear-in-marriage-repair/


Rather Watch Something? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzYLCyHmq_s


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

Apr 19, 202513:18
Why Do I Feel Like I’m Doing Everything She Asks For, and It’s Never Enough? Part 1 – When Growth Still Feels Like Failure

Why Do I Feel Like I’m Doing Everything She Asks For, and It’s Never Enough? Part 1 – When Growth Still Feels Like Failure

Apr 18, 202513:31
Why Does It Feel Like My Wife Still Doesn’t Feel Connected or Satisfied? Part 5 – I’m Trying to Help, So Why Does It Still Hurt Her?

Why Does It Feel Like My Wife Still Doesn’t Feel Connected or Satisfied? Part 5 – I’m Trying to Help, So Why Does It Still Hurt Her?

You’re doing your best. You’re keeping her updated. You’re setting reminders. You’re trying to “zipper” your communication so it’s thoughtful, loving, and timed right.
But somehow… she still ends up hurt.
She still feels disconnected.
And you’re left wondering:
“What more can I do? I’m not trying to hurt her—I’m trying to protect our relationship.”

In this episode of Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher, we explore the impossible tightrope many husbands walk: loving your wife without accidentally wounding her, communicating with care without triggering her fear, and trying to show effort without sounding like you’re checking boxes.

Maurice dives into the advanced (and often painful) principle of zippering—how two people can take turns sharing in emotionally intense moments without blowing up the engine of connection. Learn why even small emotional misfires destroy intimacy, and how to stop the spirals before they start.

This one’s deep. It’s raw. It’s real. And if you’ve ever wondered why love still feels like war, this episode might just be your turning point.

Want to read more about this topic? https://www.lifechangingservices.org/our-support-system/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ks65eS6bJIs⁠


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

Apr 17, 202514:40
Why Does It Feel Like My Wife Still Doesn’t Feel Connected or Satisfied? Part 4 – Why Does It Hurt Her When I’m Just Trying to Help?

Why Does It Feel Like My Wife Still Doesn’t Feel Connected or Satisfied? Part 4 – Why Does It Hurt Her When I’m Just Trying to Help?

Apr 16, 202514:29
Why Does It Feel Like My Wife Still Doesn’t Feel Connected or Satisfied? Part 3 – She Doesn’t Know How Hard I’m Trying to Get It Right

Why Does It Feel Like My Wife Still Doesn’t Feel Connected or Satisfied? Part 3 – She Doesn’t Know How Hard I’m Trying to Get It Right

Apr 15, 202513:21
Why Does It Feel Like My Wife Still Doesn’t Feel Connected or Satisfied? Part 2 – She Doesn’t Know I’m Trying

Why Does It Feel Like My Wife Still Doesn’t Feel Connected or Satisfied? Part 2 – She Doesn’t Know I’m Trying

Apr 14, 202513:27
Why Does It Feel Like My Wife Still Doesn’t Feel Connected or Satisfied? Part 1 – Climbing the Intimacy Pyramid Without Falling Off
Apr 13, 202513:31