We're Not Critics Podcast - formerly Movie Pain or Pleasure

We tried watching "The Notebook," hated it, and ended up watching a Bollywood martial arts movie instead. Baaghi, starring Tiger Shroff, who does jump back kicks like an angel, is a fast-moving, funny, butt-kicking adventure. The romance plot is thin and weak, but so are the ones in Western action movies. As martial artists and Bollywood enthusiasts, we thoroughly enjoyed it.

Things are getting tense with Gary and the ladies! The villain is gone, but who will prevail and win Gary's heart for the hometown visits? Also, it was freezing cold outside when we recorded this episode so we're bundled up like teddy bears and complaining about it.

Tensions rise as Kathy weaves her web. A Gen Xer and a Millennial try to understand pickleball.

The drama has arrived on "The Golden Bachelor," and her name is KATHY. Join us as we scream our heads off at the antics of our favorite villain.

Gary has his first solo date with someone special, and they do a silly group activity. We figure out how the show exploits people the most...and yet we still watch.

Never have we ever watched any version of "The Bachelor" or "The Bachelorette," but we are OBSESSED with "The Golden Bachelor," a show about people in their 60s and 70s finding love. Join us each episode as we react to the ups and downs of Gary from Indiana (but not from Gary, Indiana) finding a woman to spend his life with.

iN tHIs hOUse...it's always scary movie season. We've been watching horror movies all year so you can have a big list of recommendations to make this Halloween super spooky!

There are some great movie trilogies out there--The Godfather, Star Wars, and...Magic Mike? While we didn't love "Magic Mike's Last Dance" as much as we did the first and second movies, we had a lot of fun watching it. Join us as we dance through the finale of a fantastic series. (Cue "Pony" by Ginuwine...)

We hate ourselves. We watched all three "Fifty Shades" movies so you don't have to. Join us for our tirade.

We did something we never do--go to the movies two weekends in a row. We were excited to see both "Fast X" and "Across the Spider-Verse" for very different reasons and LOVED both for very different reasons. Join us to celebrate two blockbusters kicking off the summer

We've done several cullings of our DVD collection, but there are some movies we'll never get rid of. Join us as we appreciate the DVDs on our Ride or Die list.

We watched an Ernest movie, Vern! "Ernest Scared Stupid" is fun for kids of all ages, know what I mean?

Also, check out these awesome stickers on Etsy from our friend! https://www.etsy.com/market/8_bit_stickers

We're not "Disney adults"...but we are adults who seriously love Disney movies. We wax nostalgic about our favorite animated Disney movies plus the one we consider to be the best one to date.

You know those fake trailers at the beginning of "Tropic Thunder?" That's what we thought we were watching when we watched the trailer for 1986's "Cobra," written by and starring Sylvester Stallone. From killer taglines to car chases to the sensitive hero, this movie delivers on being a classic action movie guilty pleasure.

Hey, do you like the movie "Jeepers Creepers?" Do you like having your dreams destroyed? Well, join us as we moan and complain our way through "Jeepers Creepers Reborn." 

We're changing our name! Also, we loved "Puss in Boots: the Last Wish" in a RIDICULOUS way. 

Do you think anime is just for nerds or kids? Good news! Anime is for everyone: nerds, kids, bitter adults with corporate jobs, and everyone in between. We share  a list of some of the most memorable anime series and movies we've watched, plus a few surprises from this side of the pond.

What's up, degens? In this short, sweet episode, we discuss "Letterkenny" Season 11--what we liked, what wasn't so great, and our overall thoughts on the season.

Cold winter weather getting you down? New Year's resolutions not working out the way you'd hoped? Well, snuggle in with your favorite drink and favorite person, and check out our favorite films from 2022. These movies got us through the end of the year and started 2023 with a bang (or the roar of a tiger).

Just because you can genetically re-create dinosaurs doesn't mean you should...just like...well, like being able to re-imaging the "Jurassic Park" movies doesn't mean you should. We teeter-totter on whether Jurassic World: Dominion is a guilty pleasure, hate watch, or somewhere in between. One thing we agree on: Tyrannosaurus Rex never stops being cool. 

What started as an assumed hate watch quickly turned into legitimate love for a legitimately good movie that shows what true godliness looks like without proselytizing. "Where Hope Grows" is a feel-good drama introducing us to break out star David DeSanctis and...William Zabka! We could watch this movie over and over again.

Is the 2020 "Most Dangerous Game" REALLY an adaptation of Richard Connell's classic story, or was someone trying to skirt around paying Stephen King rights to "The Running Man?" We discuss.

ANOTHER Pinocchio? Look, we love the story about the little wooden boy like anyone else, but when will it end? We delve into the pros, cons, and questions about this kinda creative/kinda annoying adaptation of the classic Italian tale.

Home is where the heart is. But sometimes our hearts fall for another place we see on the screen. We share fifteen mostly fictional places we'd love to live in if we could travel into TV and movies.

The 1980s were a time of excess, greed, and....reindeer cocaine? We review "Santa Claus the Movie," starring an adorable Dudley Moore and the hammiest we've ever seen John Lithgow. 

This much anticipated (was it though?) follow-up to the cult classic "A Christmas Story" was as disappointing as a visit to Santa at Higbee's department store. It was full of missed opportunities and follow-through on plot lines. Listen to us rant like Ralphie's dad about what irked us, although there were a few moments that were in the spirit of the original.

Sometimes movies can be a pleasant surprise. We thoroughly enjoyed this sweet, wholesome, and very funny Adam Sandler movie that was made as..well..as a joke. It's the perfect movie to get you into the Halloween spirit or as a palate cleanser from all the horror movies we know you've been watching.

We found this "Never Back Down" sequel just revolting. Join us as we fight our way through a tiresome hate watch.

It's a two-for-one: movie/TV recommendations AND book recommendations! We share nineteen of our favorite book to screen adaptations--usually the book is better, but sometimes the movie wins out. We also have a few honorable and dishonorable mentions.

Is "Left Behind" (2001) starring Kirk Cameron a guilty pleasure or a hate watch? Normally we go into Christian movies ready to laugh or cringe, but this one left us feeling...well...left behind. On the plus side, Kirk Cameron is less obnoxious and preachy than he usually is in this one. This is a companion episode to Episode 46: Left Behind 2014.

An apocalyptic Christian movie with Nicholas Cage? Sign us UP for a guilty pleasure! We compare the 2014 remake of "Left Behind" to the lackluster 2001 original.

It's a Halloween guilty pleasure with "Hocus Pocus 2"! Join us as we cackle our way through this sequel to a witchy classic. This episode contains spoilers.

The moon is falling! And so is the credibility of this movie! We hate watch our way through "Moonfall," a disaster movie that's just a disaster.

Elivs is big, loud, and shiny...and so is the movie by the same name. There was some pleasure watching this movie, and there was some pain, so put on your blue suede shoes and join us as we talk about the highs and lows of this epic biopic about the late King of Rock and Roll.

It's time for some spoooooky movies! Join us as we count down our favorite horror movies to watch this Halloween (or any time you want a good scare).

What do you get when Ashtray from "Euphoria" and Rocky Balboa star in a superhero movie? A...decent movie. With some see-them-from-a-mile-away twists and lackluster storytelling, we weren't too impressed with this Amazon Prime original, but the two main stars did an excellent job, and Sylvester Stallone can still pack a punch. Worth a watch.

Disney, how could you? Tom Hanks, how could you?? We absolutely ROAST this new live action release of "Pinocchio" from Disney+. Stay til the end for our dream casting in what we think would be a better remake.

**This episode contains spoilers!**
Strike first! Strike hard! No mercy! We do a full review of "Cobra Kai" season 5, the most anime-esque of the seasons and the most demonstrative of Korean martial arts, which two taekwondo nerds very much appreciate. 

Need some TV shows to binge? From drama to comedy to anime to reality shows, we've got you covered. 

In this short episode we do a spoiler-free review of the 2022 anime movie "Belle," which was inspired by Disney's "Beauty and the Beast." Tune in to hear us (joined by our stuffed squishy panda Bamboo) share what we liked about this movie. As of August 2022 you can watch this movie on HBO Max.

If "Batman Forever" was a guilty pleasure, "Batman and Robin" is a pure hate watch. Other than some surprisingly sweet moments with Alfred and Bruce Wayne, this movie is pure garbage. Join us as we do a play by play of the worst parts of the worst Batman movie.

Holy unexpected hilarity, Batman! We're back with a review of "Batman Forever" starring Val Kilmer, Jim Carrey, and Tommy Lee Jones. Melanie and AJ cackle like the Riddler through this episode and do a Batman-related Q&A at the end. Play along with our questions and tell us which live action Batman is your favorite. 

Don't fear the reaper--Death comes for us all! Sometimes in very creative (and gross) ways. We take a wild ride through the five-movie "Final Destination Franchise," and Melanie muses on why dumb horror movies are fun for summer watching. We also do a question lightning round about the best and worst elements of the movies. 

Put on your dark lipstick, wash it off with Noxema, and chug some Sunny D--it's time for a late 1990s horror movie! We intended to hate watch "Urban Legend" from 1998, but it turned out to be a decent, predictable-but-fun slasher movie and a nostalgic time capsule. Join us for a play-by-play and stay til the end for movie recommendations. 

We took a weekend trip to Mineral Wells, Texas, and experienced both "Lightyear" and "Crazy Water." "Lightyear" was action-packed, moving, and funny, and the Crazy Water (from the eponymous mineral wells) had an odd but pleasant alkaline taste. Enjoy our spoiler-free review of a movie that will delight Buzz Lightyear fans of all ages. 

What did we just watch?? Oh Nicholas Cage, why did you get our hopes up with the promise of good insanity when instead you delivered a nonsensical post-apocalyptic nursery rhyme? Join us as we hate watch our way through this sci-fi/Western/Japanese fantasy movie. There are some funny quotes that make it somewhat redeemable. Stay to the end for recommendations for better movies. 

Feeling stressed? Kick back and relax--it's summer! We share twenty movies and TV shows that will help you get your cool summer groove on after a day in the sun. We also share some surprising trivia from AJ's dad's past and discuss the Madea Cinematic Universe.

2020 is long over, but then there was 2021...and now we're in 2022, and you guys, the world is a HOT MESS! One way you can beat the crippling existential crisis (and the literal crises) of our times is to escape into movies and TV shows that make you laugh and forget your troubles or just realize that our dystopian nightmare could be much, much worse. 

We share sixteen movies and animes that have gotten us through some rough patches over the last two years, plus a bonus recommendation for how you can support your community. 

Sometimes, when the world is crumbling around you, you need a good old-fashioned hate watch to get your blood pumping. We found that with M. Night Shyamalan's supernatural thriller Old....oof...y'all. This movie is entertaining and aggravating in all the wrong ways, but it just might be salvaged by the signature twist ending. We offer a play-by-play of this movie along with several recommendations that will help you suspend your disbelief in more enjoyable ways.