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Hope when there was none

Hope when there was none

By Melinda Kunst

After leaving a toxic relationship over a decade ago I embraced a journey to share my story and help others that are healing from emotional traumas, learn about self-care, and find empowerment to re-invent themselves. Here you will hear about the journey of courageous Survivors and many experts that share a passion for helping and inspiring others to awaken the beauty of life without abuse.

Thanks for tuning in! I hope your day is filled with blessings, magic, and miracles!
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Currently playing episode

Using the "Grey and Yellow Rock Method" to deal with a toxic person Episode #109

Hope when there was noneJun 22, 2021

00:00
20:55
Tips for Dealing With Heartache

Tips for Dealing With Heartache

And today's episode, we are diving into some tips to help you while you're dealing with heartache!
Mar 24, 202411:51
Am I being abused

Am I being abused

How do you know if you are being abused? Here are some tips and suggestions to think about on today's epidsode.
Mar 18, 202414:17
Protective Order Tips

Protective Order Tips

On today's episode you'll find some tips and suggestions for protective orders.
Mar 13, 202428:33
Tips for leaving your abuser

Tips for leaving your abuser

What you can expect when leaving your abuser and tips for planning to leave your abuser on today's episode.
Mar 08, 202445:39
Self-love Challenge Day 29 Recap

Self-love Challenge Day 29 Recap

You made it! WOOT! WOOT! It's day 29 and you are done! Let's take today to go back over some self-love things you can do for yourself:

🌞 Start small

🌞 Try 5 minute self-care

🌞 Hydrate/Exercise

🌞 Get outdoors

🌞 Since this is a Leap year write a letter to your future self about where you hope to be but see it like it already happened and reread this on the next Leap year

🌞 Be kind with yourself

🌞 Question your inner meanie when you hear that negative voice in your head

🌞 Give yourself permission to break free from relationships that don't serve you. Ask yourself: Do I feel drained, fear, dread or safe with this person or in this situation?

More on today's Hope when there was none Podcast episode. See you back in April!
Feb 29, 202409:34
Spiritual- Self-love Challenge Day 28

Spiritual- Self-love Challenge Day 28

Finding spiritual self-love means that you are bringing in peace or connecting with the divine.

This can look like:

💕 Reading your Bible, Torah and so on

💕 Finding alone time for quiet reflecting

💕 Practicing Random Acts of Kindness and Gratitude and more!

Tune into today's Hope when there was none Podcast for a deeper dive.
Feb 28, 202406:23
Work- Self-love Challenge Day 27

Work- Self-love Challenge Day 27

Let's talk about adding self-love to your career/ work. This is where you proudly share your achievements or that you enjoy what you do.
It can look like:
Journaling your goals or accomplishments

Recognizing your work mates

Taking your breaks

Creating Boundaries and more on today's episode.
Feb 27, 202420:20
Intellectual Self-love Day 26

Intellectual Self-love Day 26

Is what is intellectual self-love?

It looks like looking after your mindset learning new things and developing a positive personal and professional mindset.

What can you do?

Read books or listen to podcasts geared to your interests.

Open your mind to new ideas and opinions.

Play games, use brain teasers, or gaming.

This and more on today's episode.
Feb 26, 202406:55
A Domestic Violence Survival Story

A Domestic Violence Survival Story

Today is my 15 year Survivalversary! I'll be sharing my story of healing from over several decades of domestic abuse. I'll dig into:
Why did I stay?
Were there red flags that I noticed?
What would I do different and much more!
Catch me "Live" on my FB page- Hope when there was none.


A trigger warning in advance. This will be unscripted. If you have questions in advance message me privately. If you know someone that needs to talk or suggestions for resources I am happy to hold space for you!
BIG HUGS and God bless!
Mel

Feb 25, 202401:22:10
Using your senses for self-love Day 23

Using your senses for self-love Day 23

Our senses are so important in helping with releasing stress and raising our energy. Here are some ideas to incorporate your senses:
Sight- Find art or create something. Catch the sun rising or setting.

Smell- Wear your favorite perfume or cologne. Use essential oils.

Touch- Put silk sheets on your bed. Walk barefoot.

Hearing- Play soothing music. Have good conversation.

Taste- Treat yourself to your favorite take-out. Practice mindful eating.

Tune into the Hope when there was none Podcast for more tips and ideas.
Feb 23, 202408:00
Limiting beliefs- Self-love Challenge Day 22

Limiting beliefs- Self-love Challenge Day 22

Let's dig into limiting beliefs you may have about yourself.

A limiting belief is thoughts or opinions that you have about yourself.

Grab some paper and a pen and really think about those negative thoughts you have about yourself.

How can you shake these negative or toxic beliefs? Several things can help. Think about who you spend time with. Do they lift you up or do you feel drained after being with them? Do you need to clean-up around your house or get rid of clutter? Negativity thrives in chaos and clutter!

Dissect those thoughts you have, where did they come from or who did they come from?

Start to incorporate meditation, unplugging from technology, getting into nature, try grounding yourself, journaling, or using positive affirmations.

Will these thoughts go away overnight? No, give yourself grace and time to heal.
Feb 22, 202406:45
Digital detox- Self-love Challenge Day 21

Digital detox- Self-love Challenge Day 21

It's day 21! We are almost done! This one may be hard. Try to do a digital detox. This can be for 15 minutes or longer. Pretend it's the 80's! I may be dating myself but this was before we had all of these gadgets and gizmos. Take baby steps, set a timer for yourself and go for a walk or journal. Call a friend or read a book.

The world will still keep going if you're not online! Trust me! Our brain takes a dopamine hit from being engaged with our devices so to fill that need we are constantly on our electronics. While these have a good purpose and can be handy they can also be stressful as we compare our lives to those seemingly perfect lives of social media. Or we are checking our subscribers, Likes, views, and so on. Step back today or try this on the weekend!

Start by:

Setting a Digital Wellbeing setting or Do not disturb.

Put your devices away for 5 minutes

Have a designated place where your phone stays when you walk in the door at the end of the day and don't check it. (We still have a landline so we can get old school calls)

Use this time to get outdoors, have conversations with your family or to reconnect with hobbies!

Take small steps! Let me know how this goes for you!
Feb 21, 202409:42
Boundaries- Self-love Challenge Day 20

Boundaries- Self-love Challenge Day 20

Let's talk Boundaries! Do you have these or know what they are?



I never knew:

I can tell someone how I felt.
I can tell someone what my needs were.
I can tell someone when something didn't feel good.
In our relationships with others and including ourselves it is important to make sure your voice is heard.

Boundaries are your values, core beliefs, and respect. This comes from a place of love for you and those in your circle. We are born into families or get into relationships that have unhealthy patterns. This may not include knowing what boundaries are or what they look like.

You may notice someone makes you feel guilty for putting up boundaries. You may feel:

• Fear of being rejected
• People not liking you when you present your boundaries
• Fear of confrontation
Setting healthy boundaries looks like:

• Asking for help when you need it
• Saying “No” without guilt
• Being respectful of the boundaries of others even if they conflict with your own
More on today's Podcast episode!

Feb 20, 202412:38
Health- Self-love Challenge Day 19

Health- Self-love Challenge Day 19

Prioritizing "YOU" makes a huge impact on your emotional and mental health. It looks like:
Doing things that make you happy
Reducing negativity in your life with Boundaries and finding self-compassion for yourself
Trusting that you make good decisions
Getting doctor's appointments and tests needed
Taking care of your needs first can go a long way on your healing journey! More on today's episode!
Journal- When was the last time you were truly happy? If you can't recall try to remember a recent event where you made someone happy. How did that make you feel?
Feb 19, 202406:39
Self-love Challenge days 17 and 18

Self-love Challenge days 17 and 18

Today and tomorrow take a step back and evaluate how this challenge is going for you! What worked? What was challenging for you? Practice your Gratitude and Journal anything that bubbled up during this challenge. Breathe! Your doing a FABULOUS job! See you Monday!

#selflovechallenge #healingjourney #selfcaretips
Feb 17, 202401:39
Ask for help- Self-love Challenge Day 16

Ask for help- Self-love Challenge Day 16

Day 16 of the self-love challenge!

The power of "Asking" for help is powerful and is a BIG part of self-love. We have a tendency to do things on our own and it can be overwhelming if things go sideways. What does waving the white flag do? It's allowing compassion and trust to come in. What does this mean? Asking can be motivating, open up dialogue, create opportunities, and help with day-to-day tasks.

Perhaps your car is at the mechanism and you need a ride to get you to a job interview but you don't want to "bother" a friend or you aren't sure how to do a resume but know of an employment agency that may be able to help.

Asking for help doesn't mean you are weak or that you should feel ashamed. There could be a friend out there that knows you are struggling and has been waiting for the chance to help you!

If it makes you feel better depending on if it's a costly request, can you trade something for working together? Like baking? Making a meal? Or creating something in exchange for the help. Sometimes we need that extra nudge or to lessen the load. Take a moment today to think of what you need assistance with and who can help you out. Even if it's virtual!

You never know where this could lead to! If your person doesn't wish to have anything in return accept this blessing. Many people just like to be a friend and offer that support when needed. This can be foreign to you if you have never had a honest and true person in your life for support.
Feb 16, 202405:07
Comparison- Self-love Challenge Day 15

Comparison- Self-love Challenge Day 15

Do you compare yourself to someone on social media or your circle

Do you feel envious or jealous of someone on social media?

Let's take steps to recognize this and dig into where it came from on today's Hope when there was none Podcast episode.
Feb 15, 202414:25
Social Self-love- Self-love Challenge Day 14

Social Self-love- Self-love Challenge Day 14

Today I'm talking about Social self love. What is it and tips to:
Reconnect with old friends
Find positive support groups
Stay away from Energy Vampires
Checking in with yourself after meeting or talking with someone and more on today's episode.
Feb 14, 202414:37
Negative Self-talk Self-love Challenge Day 13

Negative Self-talk Self-love Challenge Day 13

"You are a failure!"

"You look so awful in that!"

"What were you thinking when you did that you idiot!"

WOWZA! Are you still friends with this person?! No you aren't! This is "YOU!" Honestly? Would you tell this to your bestie? Nope! Let's dive into what negative self-talk is and what can we do to flip the switch by:

Reframing

Showing self-compassion to yourself

Putting the brakes on what we listen to or watch during our day and more on today's podcast episode!

How is this going for you? I'd love to know message me privately on social media or at my email address- melindakunst812@gmail.com



Feb 13, 202410:28
No Complaining Self-love Challenge Day 12

No Complaining Self-love Challenge Day 12

We are on Day 12 of the Self-love Challenge and today's challenge may be rough for you!

Go 24 hours without "complaining". This means no- "That was my parking spot you Jerk!", "Nothing good ever happens to me!", "I'm always late!". You get the picture?

Complaining is negative energy that you are putting out into the world and in your own space that negativity takes a LOT of energy! Give thought to what you are really feel. When you notice you are doing this reframe or think of a positive solution for the situation.

🔥Strive to form friendships based on positive things

🔥Complaining regularly can bring down your mood

🔥 Give a negative outlook

I'd love to hear how this goes for you!
Feb 12, 202409:38
Self-love Challenge Day 10 & 11

Self-love Challenge Day 10 & 11

Today and tomorrow take a step back and evaluate how this challenge is going for you! What worked? What was challenging for you? Practice your Gratitude and Journal anything that bubbled up during this challenge. Breathe! Your doing a FABULOUS job! See you Monday!
Feb 10, 202401:40
Emotional Self-love Challenge Day 9

Emotional Self-love Challenge Day 9

Today we're talking about emotional self love. This is about caring for you emotionally. So what does it look like if you don't care for yourself emotionally? You feel the need to look for approval from others. Self sabotage Neglecting your needs and more. So what can you do? Create boundaries Work on forgiveness for you and yourself Express your feelings even if it's tough Take a break from social media and the news Practice deep breathing and more tune into today's episode to learn more.


Check out Charmaine Moore here-https://www.instagram.com/faceofhopeandbeauty/


Feb 09, 202411:48
Physical Self-love Challenge Day 8

Physical Self-love Challenge Day 8

Physical self love is so important it's appreciating you inside and out and much more. It can help release negative self image, improve your mood, and build strength! It looks like:
- Carving time out just for you
- Getting more sleep
- Tapping into what brings you joy and more.
Tune in to today's episode.
Feb 08, 202416:08
Self-compassion- Self-love Challenge Day 7

Self-compassion- Self-love Challenge Day 7

It's day 7 of the self-love challenge! Today is about self compassion. What does it look like? What does no self- compassion look like? What can you do to start building self-compassion in your life?
Feb 07, 202409:04
Self-worth- Self-love Challenge Day 6

Self-worth- Self-love Challenge Day 6

Here we are on day 6 of the self-love challenge. How is it do you going for you? On today's episode i'm diving into what self-worth is, how we bargain with ourselves, And tips to start building your self-worth.
Feb 06, 202410:42
Self-care- Self-love Challenge Day 5

Self-care- Self-love Challenge Day 5

Do you know the difference between self-care and self-love? I'll share ideas for adding self-care into your day on today's episode!
Feb 05, 202413:24
Self-awareness- Self-love Challenge Day 4

Self-awareness- Self-love Challenge Day 4

Today's episode is about self-awareness. I know this is something a little bit different. But let's dig into what this in some examples that you can use today. This can look like tapping into your values, your strengths, and emotions.

Some examples to tune in are:

Journaling
Practicing Mindfulness
Grounding and more!
Feb 04, 202410:46
Journaling- Self-love Challenge Day 3

Journaling- Self-love Challenge Day 3

Journaling can be a daunting task for many that are on a healing journey. Writing down your thoughts can Help you find answers to situations. It can help you with depression in all around health. It could be a great way to track your health, Fitness, Goals, Or maybe there are unresolved triggers that you need to process. I'll dive into some ideas for journaling, what's the difference between a diary and a journal, and much more on today's episode.
Feb 03, 202421:01
Gratitude- Self-love Challenge Day 2

Gratitude- Self-love Challenge Day 2

It's day 2 of the Self-love challenge. And we are talking about gratitude! Today your challenge is to write down 3 to 5 things that you're grateful for and please make sure they're not the same thing if you do this each day. Why is gratitude important? Find out on today's podcast.
Feb 02, 202411:35
Self-love Challenge Day 1

Self-love Challenge Day 1

The sun came out today and it's a great way to kick off day 1 of the #selflovechallenge 🥳 We are going to ease on into this journey with a simple get outside and be playful for today! Maybe that looks like a walk or getting out with the kids.

What is your favorite way to play or enjoy the outdoors?

#selfcare #healingjourney
Feb 01, 202411:15
Finding Yourself

Finding Yourself

Today I'm diving into steps that you can take to start finding yourself. what does that look like for you? This can be a small steps you take daily. Such as, finding professional support. Reflecting what's important to you. Planning for the future and more.
Jan 28, 202429:27
Effects of Domestic Violence

Effects of Domestic Violence

What are the effects of Domestic Violence on adults and children? You may experience: 🔥 Fearfulness 🔥 Trust issues 🔥 Feel stuck 🔥 Chronic health issues 🔥 Nightmares and more!


Find Charmaine Moore here! https://www.instagram.com/faceofhopeandbeauty/


Jan 23, 202417:54
What does a Narcissist look like?
Jan 07, 202438:26
Melinda's Divine Womb Ceremony

Melinda's Divine Womb Ceremony

I am still floating on cloud 9 after this beautiful and empowering ceremony. I had kicked around an idea of saying goodbye to my lady parts that's scheduled next month. I shared the idea with Charmaine @faceofhopeandbeauty and I asked if she knew of something or maybe @sabine_voegtli may have an idea to make this memorable. I was seriously thinking I would do something in my backyard but Charmaine took this dream and brought it to reality in a way that was beyond my expectations! Sabine was generous to incorporate a #cacaoceremony and her sunroom that is absolutely dreamy! It was the perfect setting! She also lent her sultry haunting voice to a powerful song that I will share separately. The circle was complete with Brianne Coleman who brought us a moment of grounding our emotions back in with love. The divine energy that I received from these powerhouses was overwhelming that I have been able to keep this feeling even 2 days later. There are so many blessings from this special time that I will always cherish! I had thought of this chapter as an ending but it is another phase that I will now step into with ease.

I know many can't wait to get rid of their parts. I was emotional as I tapped into how much this beautiful organ has been through. She has experienced sexual traumas. Loss of children by my own hand or as an act of God. She has supported and given life to 4 beautiful children. She known healthy pleasure and had lovers that gave her what she needed sometimes without strings.😉 She has carried scars and kept going strong. It was something more than being a vessel when I started to think of it. I am forever grateful to Charmaine for her creativity and love for making me feel the miracle of my womanhood. I encourage anyone that has wanted to do something special such as this! It was beautiful!

Here's where you can find these fabulous ladies I mentioned:
Charmaine-
www.instagram.com/faceofhopeandbeauty?igsh=ZGNjOWZkYTE3MQ==

Sabine- www.instagram.com/sabine_voegtli?igsh=ZGNjOWZkYTE3MQ==

Brianne- www.instagram.com/briannecoleman?igsh=ZGNjOWZkYTE3MQ==

Jan 01, 202427:20
Goal setting for 2024

Goal setting for 2024

Goal setting using a Vision board can look like: Learning how to budget- Starting over can be hard when it comes to finances. Even if you aren't a single Momma! Planning for the future is important. Learn what resources are available to you! Is there grants or programs for electricity? Food stamps? Housing? Can you go back to school to learn a new career or brush up on skills so you can advance in your current career? Maybe you want to take steps to leave an abuser and aren't sure what to do first. Did you know I did a Vision Board "BEFORE" I left my ex? I envisioned our lives without him! I learned what paperwork I could file on my own without the need of an attorney. I couldn't afford one at the time and was Pro Se for about 75% of my divorce. Goals can be something you start anytime. Start taking action by visualizing the outcome of your dreams and goals. Put into motion what you need to do to begin. Is it phone calls? Research? Reading a book? Whatever this looks for you just start.


Send some love to Charmaine Moore on IG. Check her out here- https://www.instagram.com/faceofhopeandbeauty/


Dec 31, 202350:17
Why she stays

Why she stays

It can hard for people to understand why a person stays an abusive relationship. Here are a few reasons why she stays on today's episode.

Dec 24, 202317:09
Abandonment Wounds

Abandonment Wounds

What are abandonment wounds and how can you begin to heal them? You could start by sharing with a trusted friend. Remind yourself that, this is not your fault. Practice self-care, create boundaries and more. Do you recognize this as a pattern in your life?
Dec 19, 202311:08
Support ideas for Survivors and loves ones

Support ideas for Survivors and loves ones

This episode today is about Self care for survivors as well as those that have loved ones in toxic situations.

This looks like:

Reminding yourself that your feelings are valid.

Giving yourself time to breathe.

Finding the healing modality that works for you and more on today's episode.

Dec 17, 202326:57
What's your blood type and what does this have to do with abuse?

What's your blood type and what does this have to do with abuse?

Well, this is a bonus episode. After a long conversation with Miss Alex and her way to work we were talking and a memory was triggered for me. I'm sharing that and a lot more in today's episode. Thanks for listening.
Dec 14, 202319:22
Mind games toxic people play

Mind games toxic people play

These are things you can look out for:
⛈️ Gaslighting
⛈️ Someone that's projecting
⛈️ Making you feel guilting
⛈️ Playing the victim and more.

Have you experienced any of these?
Dec 12, 202312:37
What Survivors want you to know

What Survivors want you to know

Many Survivors find their circle doesn't quite understand what they are going through. It can be an emotional rollercoaster and lonely time. In today's episode I'm sharing thoughts that women would like others to know about trauma, grief, toxic relationships. Tune in for more!
Nov 28, 202310:06
Tips for safety planning for the holidays

Tips for safety planning for the holidays

Know you are not alone in your struggle. If you need to talk feel free to message me privately. For support and for encouragement after you have experienced emotional trauma for women only check out The Survivors Cafe.

Find me here- https://linktr.ee/melindakunst Shelters and Resources-

The Hotline - 1-800-799-7233 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) En Español

Safe Horizon -1-800-621-HOPE (4673)

NCADV - Resources page for National and International helpAbused Deaf Women's Advocacy Services (ADWAS) provides advocacy services for Deaf and DeafBlind survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault.

http://www.adwas.org/Sexual Assault Hotline-

https://www.rainn.org/Suicide prevention-

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/International-

https://internationalwomenshouse.org/get-help Apps for victims and Survivors-https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/mobile-apps-for-victims-and-survivors

Nov 21, 202310:53
Staying motivated while healing

Staying motivated while healing

It can be really hard to stay motivated while you're healing. What can you do? Here are some tips that you can start today:

🩷 Create a list of your goals

🩷 Find a support group, trusting friend, or licensed professional

🩷 Take a break if things get too heavy and more on today's podcast.
Nov 19, 202315:49
Are you in Survival mode?

Are you in Survival mode?

So what does survival mode look like? Do you notice physical symptoms?

😔 Do you feel physically sick around, near your abuser or at the thought of being around this person?

😔 Are you anxious or nervous around this person? You aren't alone!

You are not alone! Listen to today's broadcast.
Nov 18, 202320:00
Setting healthy Boundaries in any relationship

Setting healthy Boundaries in any relationship

So what are boundaries and why do we need them? I'm gonna dig in to what these are and examples of what you can do to start using them in your relationships today.
Nov 12, 202323:25
Gratitude is not just for November

Gratitude is not just for November

What is gratitude and what does it have to do with self-love?

Gratitude is defined as: The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

Practicing the "Art of Gratitude" can be a game changer! Developing finding thankfulness can impact your overall health by raising your sense of value especially when the world around you feels draining. I know those moments it can be hard to see the positive in your life. So, how can you get started?

Before my feet hit the ground I thank God for waking me up! I say a prayer, and thank Him for whatever is on my heart. And my new thing is to share why I'm grateful for that too!

I set my alarm on my phone to create a "Gratitude Alarm" so throughout the day I can stop whatever I'm doing to share what I'm thankful for. This serves as a reminder for me to do a heart check and can change my perspective if I'm having a difficult moment. But, you don't have to do the same. You can:

Find a Gratitude Meditation
Create a Gratitude Jar
Use Gratitude Mapping
Journal gratefulness or use daily prompts

What do you write or think about? Here's a few ideas:

🌞 Express gratitude for yourself- That you remembered something important or you are being kind to others.

🌞 Really take in the people or things around you and pay attention to the good things, such as, someone held the door for someone else.

🌞 Perhaps your child said something comforting to a friend in need.

🌞 Notice the beauty around you! Did you catch a sunrise? See the birth of a child? Did you see a Butterfly pass your path?

Find the time and which type of Gratitude to practice that works for you or try them all!

Here are a few prompts to get you started and I encourage you to think of 3 to 5 things (These can also be used as today's journal prompts):

💗 What good things happened to you today?

💗 What would you have missed if you weren't paying attention?

💗 What are you grateful for right now?

💗 What is something that made you smile?

💗 What is something you take for granted?

💗 Who are you grateful for and why?

There is good in the world and good surrounding you! When you tap into this practice you can see more positives in your life which can raise your spirits, increase your health and happiness.

Use one of the prompts above or create your own! Share below what you are grateful for. I'd love to know! I'm nosey! 😁
Nov 03, 202310:02
Safety Planning for the holidays
Nov 01, 202306:41
Healing from life long hurt- Survivor stories with Kelly
Oct 30, 202349:12
4 letters you need to write
Oct 29, 202313:10
Is there really a happily ever after?

Is there really a happily ever after?

This was totally unscripted and off the hip today! What does that mean? Lots of deep thoughts, truth telling, and bits of my healing journey. Know you are not alone and if you need to talk don't hesitate to message me privately.
Oct 29, 202300:38