Mequell Buck: Thriving with Mental Illness

Mequell and Adam talk about his most recent business book read The 80/20 Principle by Richard Koch and how it applies to the mental illness world. Surprisingly, it is fairly congruent with Chapter 5 of Mequells book Thriving With Mental Illness. The bottom line of both being: work smarter in the areas that make the most difference. Simplify. Say no to things that don't produce results whether that's with money and business or stability and mental illness management.

Mequell and Adam are joined by the incredibly lovely actor Alexia Fast to talk about her experience living with a bipolar diagnosis. She shares why she has recently chosen to be public with her story and what it has looked like for her in the movie industry. She is charming and gracious and after listening to her episode, you will fall in love with her too, just like we did.

Mequell and Adam are joined by Dr. Kim Buck, PhD, LPC, CCS, CSAT Yes, that's a lot of acronyms but she's a whole lotta awesome so that checks out. She talks about the new direction of counseling with a prodependent focus instead of a codependent one. She discusses what healthy boundaries look like and how to support someone in crisis. Go listen! You are going to realize quickly that "a whole lotta awesome" is a massive understatement.

Mequell and Adam are joined by Kevin & Margaret Hines for their first ever "couples double date" on the podcast. It did a not disappoint. We hit the jackpot convincing Margaret to join us on the podcast along with Kevin and we absolutely love her humor and pragmatism. She offers some extremely insightful advice on how to thrive as a couple and truly become teammates battling against the illness and winning.

Kevin survived a suicide attempt by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge in 2000. He was one of 0.1% of people to miraculously survive the jump. He travels around the world delivering his important message that no matter how hard things get, there are ways to cope and lift others so that we can all "Be Here Tomorrow". He is caring and powerful radiating kindness and a genuineness that is hard to come by.

Separately, they are each incredible people who we are lucky to know. Together, they are an absolute powerhouse. You are invited to listen in on our "couples double date" but you have to bring your own treats.

Mequell and Adam spend the episode talking about things they've been grateful for this year. Hint: the AMAZING listeners are top on the list. Thank you to all of you! Much Love xoxo Mequell and Adam

Mequell and Adam go through the whole discussion of why they landed on meds. (For a revisit of all the other avenues they tried refer to Ep. 5: Sifting through Treatment Options). Even though they are solidly in the camp that medication is required for her management, there are people who are able to maintain stability and manage using different treatment options. The key is to WORK WITH PROFESSIONALS! No one should be making the decision to go on or off meds unless working with a psychiatrist. Aaaand the main reason Mequell and Adam are so loud with beating the medication drum is because it seems like all the other voices are Anti Meds and frankly, the discussion just needs to be balanced since meds literally saved Mequells life.

Mequell and Adam are joined for a few precious minutes by the amazing Jen Hilderbrand as she prepares for the 3rd Annual Hope Gives Gala. Kevin Hines, Golden Gate Bridge suicide survivor and filmmaker, will be the featured speaker for this years event. In 2016, Mental Health America awarded Kevin their highest honor, The Clifford W. Beers Award for his efforts to improve the lives of and attitudes toward people with mental illnesses. To say we are giddy with excitement would be a massive understatement. We are so privileged to work with the incredible foundation Hope Gives and to have the opportunity to interact with so many who work diligently to make the world a better place for the Mental Illness Warriors and the Cheerleaders who love them. Xoxo

Mequell and Adam talk about the benefits of letting people in and site the 988 Suicide Hotline for examples of what you can say to ask for help. It takes way too much energy trying to hide how we're really doing and also takes away others ability to truly help us. Asking may not be as hard as you think.

Mequell and Adam site a study (gotta get the deets from Adam but he's out of town lol) and discuss the concept of self-stigma (the shame and embarassment we put on ourselves) when living with mental illness. It can cause very low self-esteem and prevent us from focusing on the things we can control thus preventing us to live well with mental illness. We can fight the self-stigma by:

1) educating ourselves (go listen to Ep. 1 - What is Mental Illness)

2) becoming an advocate (go buy a cool Mental Illness Warrior sweatshirt)

3) getting treatment from professionals (psychiatrists and therapists who can help us reframe our narrative and give us tools to cope)

4) focusing on our strengths

5) understanding that a mental illness diagnosis doesn't define who we are

Mequell and Adam share from the Advocacy for Change Project things that suicide attempt survivors wish their families knew. Some of them might surprise you! Tune in to hear ways that we can show love after a suicide attempt and ways that society sometimes shames those reaching out for help.

Mequell and Adam share tips from an article (and ok, from personal experience as well) about what to say to help when someone is suicidal. You are not required to know how to deal with it, you're just required to facilitate getting them help. And the red flags to let you know when it's urgent might be much smaller than you're thinking even though they're there. Tune in for the discussion!

Mequell and Adam are joined by Paris Scobie, host of the Live Well Bipolar Podcast and author of Crooked Illness, for an incredible discussion. Paris shares her own story of her bipolar diagnosis and the work that she put in to become stable and happy. She's a rockstar y'all!!!

Mequell and Adam review a study about teens and their willingness to open up about depression and other mental health related topics. Surprisingly (or not) they ARE willing to talk to us IF we will listen. Tune in (for the first "try" video episode) to learn how to avoid stepping in it and also tips on how to keep your face quiet.

Mequell and Adam have a much needed discussion about the top signs of good mental health for men and the reasons why it's sometimes an extra challenge for them to get what they need. Adam is the star of the show sharing times when he's struggled and things that helped him since he's a man and Mequell isn't. There's also some pretty great information about why you should never bum-rush a bear. And even though we're a few weeks late and Men's Mental Health Awareness month is over, Adam assures us this information is applicable all year round.

Mequell and Adam have a discussion that's a hot topic and that can be slightly triggering in the mental illness world. Everyone loves to discuss mental wellness but there is a misunderstanding that many have where they believe mental wellness and mental illness are on the opposite of the same continuum. They are not. You can have high mental wellness while living with severe mental illness, they are not mutually exclusive, just like you can have poor mental wellness even without a diagnosed mental illness. They discuss a 2010 study published in the Journal of Adult Development that articulates the differences and makes Mequell feel a little bit like "So there!" to all those naysayers who have considered it binary. But she's pretty sassy like that.

Journal of Adult Development

Mequell and Adam are joined by Laurel Kelsey: Functional Nutrition Counselor and Exercise Physiologist for a fascinating and very educational discussion on the relationship between gut health and brain health. Laurel has years of both professional research and personal experience on this topic. Did you know that 90% of serotonin in our bodies is made in the gut? Yeah, we didn't either. Laurel not only has a coaching practice to share her brilliance but she is also a super cool chic. She has graciously offered both a free ebook and a free consultation to all of our listeners. See what I mean by a super cool chic?! You're not gonna want to miss this one. (links below)

Mequell went waaaaay outside of her comfort zone and entered the Ms Health and Fitness Competition as a Mental Illness Warrior and Suicide Survivor. She made it through to the online voting rounds and now explains the reason why she entered and how you can help spread even more awareness and education around the topic of mental illness.

Give it a listen and vote here! Much love warriors xoxo Mequell

Mequell and Adam are joined by author and educator Dawn Day as they discuss her own experience parenting her three girls through periods of suicidality. She is very open and real about the challenges and hardships experienced and the differences between her professional training in the psychology world and having it in her own family. No one likes to eat humble pie. Along with her own experience they discuss Dawn's book "Helpless Night; Hopeful Dawn" and how to maintain hope during a challenging time. The best part is Dawn's twelve pieces of advice for other parents experiencing this heartache.

Mequell and Adam discuss hearing from two beloved listeners.

Big takeaways:

1. Everyone needs connection (even us!)
2. How to help a critic become a cheerleader

Mequell and Adam share some research and funny real-life examples about the effects medication (specifically SSRIs and beta-blockers which are most anti-depressants and anxiety meds currently prescribed) have on both the quality of the dreaming and your ability to recollect them in the morning. Bad news: these types of meds usually cause nightmares AND make you to remember them in detail. Good news: the nightmares aren't real life but sometimes the leftover emotions from them are.  

Mequell and Adam talk about the #1 factor in preventing suicide: Flexibility. There has to be flexibility in thinking and when approaching the very real need of lifting the heavy weight when living with mental illness. Warriors need to be surrounded by awesome cheerleaders who love them but the way to truly help isn't giving a pep talk in how to be mentally stronger because those living with mental illness every freaking day are the strongest people you will ever meet! Being an awesome cheerleader means brainstorming together ways to actually change circumstances so the weight can be lifted. Know What's What! 

Mequell and Adam talk through some listener comments she's gotten recently that seem to indicate people may not really think she lives with this anymore ... or that she has it all figured out ... or that she has such MAD skills she's totally cured (none of which are true). Mental Illness does not go away, it must be managed. Forever. Until you die. Sounds dire yes, but with aforementioned mad skills, life can still be full and happy but you just might be spending a little more time in your pajamas than you previously anticipated. 

And in case you're wondering about the song reference, check out Sam Fischer "Carry It Well"

Mequell and Adam are SO excited to announce the launching of their website Mental Illness Warrior. We hope to bring hope, humor and resources to those in the trenches.

Mequell and Adam are joined by Jen Hilderbrand, President of the non-profit HOPE Mental Health Foundation. HOPE believes therapy is for everyone and seeks to provide financial assistance to those in a time of crisis. Jen got started in this incredible work because of her own personal experience and the change she saw in her own life when she was able to do the hard work of therapy guided by a great counselor. There is no substitute for tools that are gained through the therapy process. Jen believes everybody deserves that chance. "Pick a therapist, do the work and go get your life back." 

Instagram: @hope_gives

Mequell and Adam are joined by licensed marriage and family therapist Crystal Bowman for a discussion about the importance of evolving as a parent and allowing room for growth. Parenting is always a challenge but even more so when our children are working through their own mental health and mental illness issues. They address some listener questions about the rise in popularity of labeling common challenges in relationships as toxic or traumatic and how we can love and support our children from afar when they distance themselves.

Mequell and Adam are joined by Katie Clark, founder of Peak Behavioral Consulting and Board Certified Behavioral Analyst (BCBA). Katie has years of experience in studying what she calls "the science that backs all the other sciences" which is essentially gathering, tracking and analyzing behaviors and why we do them. Mequell was geeking out the entire episode because tracking and analyzing data was the catalyst in figuring out her own mental illness and Katie is the only person who's ever been as excited about it as she is. Katies insight is invaluable and madly applicable in the world of mental illness both for us and for our kiddos. Katie is brilliant, hilarious and also uses cool vocabulary words like maladaptive and antecedent. Oh and she also doesn't like big birthday parties...