Everyone negotiates. You may think that it’s the realm of the salesperson, or the business executive, or lawyer, but every single person encounters a number of negotiations on a daily basis. Every human interaction has the possibility of some gain if we are willing to look for it. The key to finding success in your interactions is changing your mindset. Because it’s not about winning or losing—it’s about getting what you really want.
We often move through negotiations at a breakneck speed. In this episode, I spend some time breaking down some of the reasons for our rushing, as well as providing some prescriptive advice to address our timing. This will give you some opportunity to evaluate your negotiation timing and slow down!
Political behavior exists across a wide spectrum of organizations. From small local organizations to the national stage, politics can be very divisive. In this episode I give you four methods to diffuse political activity in your organizations and move toward positive relationships and positive outcomes.
What you say and how you say it can have a profound effect on the interactions you have and the outcomes from those interactions. Are you deliberate about how you present information? Do you think about whether you are presenting the opportunity as a gain, or as a loss? Do you know the impact of each of these frames? This episode takes a deeper look at the impact of framing in our interactions. Based on Nobel Prize winning research and ideas from research in the area of persuasion, I will help you frame your discussions for maximum impact.
Sometimes we get stuck in a cycle of small offers and small concessions as a defensive response to other negotiators. In this episode I make the case for getting beyond that haggling view of negotiation and rather looking for ways to accept the offers of others and provide them with extravagant outcomes. It's only possible if we stop thinking defensively, and start thinking big.
Most of the time when a negotiator proclaims something to be unfair, they are complaining that they didn't get what they wanted. Typically, that's due to fear or ignorance (generally not being knowledgeable about the possible outcomes or ways to maximize value). This episode gives you some ideas about avoiding this behavior and controlling the perception of unfairness for others with whom you interact.
We live in a society that prioritizes goals that are superficial, shallow, and poorly focused. This causes us to pursue behavior that doesn't fit with the the organizational, and sometimes the personal, goals. We need to measure differently. We need to measure better. This episode shines the light on some of those missed opportunities and points the direction forward for both individuals and organizations.
This episode will help you understand where trust comes from in our interactions. Since trust is such an important aspect of negotiations, and most every interaction, I will also look at how trust is built and how trust is maintained. I also talk about the impact of trust in our decision-making process.
Everyone wants to gain in their interactions. Communicating that to the others involved is an important step in building trust, developing relationships, and maximizing gains. This episode will address these ideas and build some support for transparency in our interactions.
Do you want to be a strong negotiator? Do you know what that means? I explain three characteristics of weak negotiators and contrast that with three characteristics of strong negotiators. It may not mean what you think it means to be a strong negotiator.
Our interactions can always be better. Lately I've noticed that many of our interactions are strained because of anxiety and isolation. This podcasts examines the interactions and suggests four steps to address that strain for the better. Bonus material, I'll teach you how to navigate a four-way stop.
Everyone prepares for a negotiation. But the way you prepare can have a big impact on the process and the outcomes. In this episode, I describe a preparation method that addresses, the Why (Interests and Gains) for your negotiation, the What (the information, both known and unknown), and the How (value creation through interdependence). Consistently applying this method for preparation will have a positive impact on your negotiations.
This episode looks back at some things we have learned in the five months of working from home. I focus on on some the positives and negatives of virtual human interaction with some suggestions for successfully managing your virtual negotiations. The original episode that addresses virtual negotiation was published on March 12, 2020 (if you want to go back and listen - you do. Go back... Listen.).
There is a win-lose dichotomy in society and business. Either you are a winner, or you are a loser. Much of the time your previous training in negotiation, whether that is formal training or experiential training, focuses on the position that you are trying to achieve. The position is the actualization of the real reason that you are negotiating. It is one way, based on your biases, to achieve the desired end state. The struggle comes from not understanding that there is something beneath and behind the position called the interest. This episode brings together some of the ideas from the past five episodes to present a holistic strategy to understand and articulate your interest, and achieve more from your interactions.
One of the most overlooked aspects of our negotiations, but also one of the most powerful aspects, are concessions. Understanding and using concessions to move the negotiation toward better outcomes is an advanced skill. In this episode I talk about some strategies to use concessions to add value to your outcome.
Making two changes in the way you approach your negotiation can have a big impact. Control your motivation going in and the emotional content during the interaction and you can dramatically impact trust, your relationship, and your outcomes. This episode talks about some strategy to help you manage these two important aspects of your negotiation.
Whether you approach your negotiation with a munificence or a scarcity mindset makes a big difference in the creativity of the outcome, the positions you take, the information you share, and your outcome. This episode will help you understand your mindset, and the consequences it carries.
Once you have your goals identified, the negotiation doesn't get easier. You need to understand the goals of the other parties and work to satisfy those goals if you really want to be a great negotiator. In this episode I compare some of the older theories about negotiation to current understanding, to give you an advantage as a deal maker.
The right goals in your negotiation can impact the outcome for all involved. You need to understand the importance of empathy and perspective taking in your negotiation to maximize your outcomes. This episode focuses on the importance of that understanding for leveraging your interdependence to gain.
I get a benefit from my skin color and heritage from this world. This has to stop. Our interactions would be better in all instances if people received the same treatment, rather than the systemic injustice pervasive in the world today. These are some ideas about how to address the problem.
Every decision that we make is filtered through our tolerance for risk. Some have a high tolerance for risk, while others are risk averse. This comes from our personality, but also a lot is dependent on our upbringing and whether we have faced risk in the past. Some of us were raised in an environment that supported and even celebrated risk taking, while others were rewarded for making the safe choice. One thing is certain, the payoff for the activity comes in to play when we are deciding whether or not to take a risk. Issues that are representative of closely held values make it easier to take risks.
Justice is an imperative in today's world. It goes deeper than just what someone gets in comparison with what they deserve. I talk about the connection between perceptions of justice and treatment that is consistent with dignity and respect. We won't move forward as a community/organization until human dignity and respect is an important value for us.
As organizations make critical decisions about work-from-home standards for the future, individuals are in the difficult position of diminishing interactions and relationships. This lack of interaction may seem like a blessing for introverts and a difficulty for extroverts, but that isn't accurate. There is good and bad in work-from-home, but we need to manage relationship building if we don't want the bad to outweigh the good.
Get beyond the common problem of all or nothing thinking in your day-to-day interactions. Implement some contingent thinking to expand your possibilities and to push into creative solutions to the problems facing the world today.
This is part 2 of my discussion with Wesley Walker, Licensed Professional Counselor and Psychotherapist. In this episode our discussion focuses on the ongoing impact of COVID19 on mental health. We talk about impacts for individuals, as well as organizations.
In this episode I'm joined by Wesley Walker, Licensed Professional Counselor and Psychotherapist, to discuss some pressing issues facing employers and employees as the economy slowly returns to work. We talk about how quickly we should get back to our organizations and our communities, how to balance economic and health issues, and the best ways to cope with a return to work.
As we prepare to leave our shelter in place, don't just go back to the old way of doing business. Burn the ships, remove your easy retreat and the issues that aren't important. Move forward with a purpose!
Negotiations are stress-filled at the moment, but stress is always with us. Today's stress is different, but there are some methods that can be applied to manage stress in negotiations regardless of the source of the stress. In this episode, I give you five steps to address the stress in your interactions and get to better outcomes.
None of us has negotiated post-pandemic. However, we do have research about how the way you approach the negotiation impacts your interaction. In this episode I apply research on Loss Framing and Gain Framing in negotiation to our interactions when shelter-in-place rules are lifted. Hopefully this will help you produce better outcomes when the economy starts moving again.
Negotiating from a place of survival is necessary at times, but there are costs. Rather than focusing on survival, and the anxiety or negative emotions that come with it, focus on your interests. By focusing on the interest in the negotiation and setting goals that support that interest, negotiators can maintain cognitive flexibility and employ better critical thinking and creative problem solving to achieve better outcomes.
We are often faced with a decision between different paths that are equally valid. Oftentimes in negotiation, these decisions are choices between people and profits. How do we make decisions so that we don't harm our reputation or harm other parties to the negotiation, while maintaining our ethics and achieving our outcome? In this episode, I will give you a framework for thinking about these decisions and some guidance on principles to make the best decision.
Negotiations are complex interactions. One question that I get asked often is how to gain the upper hand in negotiation, either to take advantage of the complexity, or reduce it. This is sometimes about power, or resources, or information - but it's always about leveraging that against others in the negotiation to get what you want. This episode examines that in light of the research on power and entitlement.
Right now is an opportunity to positively impact your reputation in your social and business community. It just takes some faith and some understanding of the psychology behind decision-making. Don't make panic decisions. Understand what's behind your decisions and benefit everyone in your circle.
Negotiations are tough enough to do well, without even thinking about measuring outcomes. Many times we spend a lot of effort getting the preparation right, just to get to the outcome and wonder if it was good enough. This leaves us with the less than reliable measure of happiness with the outcome. This episode is focused on developing measures that are reliable, objective, and reproducible.
Negotiating from a distance requires some specific strategies to do well. In this short episode I talk about some ways to harness media richness and synchronous interaction to improve your virtual negotiations.
Win-Win has long been the rhetoric used to describe successful negotiation that take multiple parties' outcomes into consideration. Win-Win has shortcomings that become evident in long-term negotiations. In this episode I'll give you some evidence for a better, more successful negotiation strategy. This strategy, Joint-Gain Negotiation, takes Win-Win and builds on it to provide better outcomes, better relationships, and better reputations. Joint-Gain negotiation will allow you to achieve your goals and keep your integrity intact.
Can you make better offers in negotiation? What makes some offers better than others? In this episode we focus on the timing, the content, and the focus of offers in negotiation. I also talk about ways to constructively control the narrative in your negotiations.
Can you afford to apply (Christian) ethics to your negotiations in today's competitive business world? Can you afford not to...? In this episode I give you some food for thought about how to apply your ethics and morality to your everyday interactions. The content is applicable regardless of your religious stance.
In every interaction we have a choice about perspective-taking and empathy with the others involved. There are clear benefits to trying to understand what's important to others involved in the interaction. One of the most powerful ways to facilitate empathy and perspective-taking in your negotiations is by building and valuing relationships. This episode examines the power of relationships, and some strategies for building those relationships.
Lying in negotiation is a pervasive problem. In this episode I address whether you should lie to protect your interests (you should not, for some very good reasons), and how to deal with negotiators that are lying to you.
Negotiation is a complex process and our ideas about our interactions are biased by our previous experiences, our training and our beliefs. This episode introduces a new way to think about negotiation.