Humour Writing by the fat silver haired writer in shades from Birmingham England, Michael Casey

from The Secret Prayer Society to Gagging for a Drink  the last of my previous Audio, I shall have to make more

50 short stories

may be on Shorts 2013 or More Shorts 2014 or 300 and Not OUT

my books are as cheap as I am, so buy some, and follow with your finger as you listen to my voice

NOW GO TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAINS

I had my Oxford AstaZennica jab today so, I've been pricked, have you too, if not join the queue

from Horror Stories to Through my Letter Box all in my own voice too

these maybe in 300 and Not Out or Shorts 2013 or More Shorts 2014

so you'll have to buy the books to match the words

they are as cheap as I am, no comments please.

50 to 100 of blogs 2011 so buy the book and match words to my very own voice

I've realised some of these may juts be on 300 and Not OUT so you'd have to buy that book too

this is me

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://michaelgcaseyfrombirminghamengland.wordpress.com/2020/11/29/m5-list-of-words-from-8-years-ago/

lots of short stories 

Michael Casey 29th Jan 2011 Tears For A Butcher Chapter2 Tears For A Butcher © Chapter 2 Old People’s Home © Now an old people’s home is a thing of mercy and patience, the elderly go there to spend their final years, to find comfort and peace. A good home has caring staff who understand the elderly and their needs. Some old people never get any visitors, the staff are their family, or you may have one resident who has more visitors that all the rest of the residents combined. Whatever the case may be a home for the elderly is exactly that, a home with a capital H for HOME. Now Percy’s occupation meant that he visited Old People’s Homes more than most, when the time came for the elderly to go to meet God it was Percy who collected the body and did the final duties for the deceased. The home owners used to coral the pensioners in the day room while Percy sneaked in to collect the bodies, it is an upsetting thing to know one of your number had gone to meet their maker, so Percy did his duty while trying not to upset anybody. Now on this occasion at The Happy Valley Rest Home as Percy collected the body with Andy he saw somebody at an upper window banging on the window, then the old woman pushed something out of the window. It was a note with a message scrawled in pencil on it. Percy was going to ignore it but something made him think twice so once he had placed the deceased in the back of the private ambulance he went back to collect the note. Now this note was going to make waves, big waves and chance Percy’s life too. When they got back to the street Percy sat in the office and put the paper on his desk. Sitting down he began to read it, the old lady said “help I’m starving and its so cold in here always, please help before you’ll be taking my body away.” “What’s up pop?” asked Andy. “Read it for yourself,” replied Percy as he turned the paper around on the desk. “That’s not right, but what if she’s just a bit senile,” Andy replied. “You could be right, but we need to find out the truth,” sighed Percy. “Ok, pop, why don’t you go to the café to have a talk about it, I’ll start preparing the deceased,” said Andy. “Good boy,” said Percy as he strode away to the café. Percy repeated what he’d read on the note, Mark and Gillian were shocked, the elderly should be loved not starved and froze to death. George and Brownie arrived with the latest gossip, but hearing Percy’s news they were shocked. “Bastards,” said George. “Bastards,” said Brownie. “Bastards,” said Gillian. “Bastards,” repeated Mark. “But what are we going to do?” asked Percy. There was silence all around, then Brownie had an idea. “Me and George are going undercover, I’ve seen it on tv, Esther Ranzen and Panorama do it, so me and George will do it,” she whispered. Percy looked shocked but she was determined so he was wise enough to say nothing. “But we have to protect you while you are undercover, so you’ll have mobile phones and we’ll ring you at regular intervals, or just text cos it’s quieter.” said Gillian. “We can pretend to be window cleaners and we can slip you messages, and you can have a digital camera to get evidence,” added Patrick who had happened by. “That’s a good idea,” replied Brownie. They spend the morning discussing how George and Brownie would be spies like 007 James Bond, sandwiches were made and eaten, they had to try and think of everything. Once the camera was full of stills and movies they could drop it out of the window into the flower bed and if nobody was looking Patrick could throw a 2nd camera back up to them, it would only take seconds. They did forget one thing despite all the planning. How would the get George and Brownie into the old people’s home in the first place. “The Love of Money is the Root of All Evil,” quoted Percy his eyes lighting up. “Those people are only interested in one thing, MONEY. So if we turn up with a couple of senior citizens and 2 months fee for their care, in cash, then George and Bro

I have actually lost the text for this, so feel free to copy type it and send it back to me.

It remains both my copyright, and my favourite story