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Inspired Caring

Inspired Caring

By Michele Magner

If you are helping out an aging family member, this is the place for you! As a family caregiver, working in the senior living industry and studying gerontology & dementia, I've learned how important our mindset is as we care for those we love. Here, you will have inspiration and information and provide the tools you need to feel prepared and to take care of yourself along the way. www.michelemagner.com michele@michelemagner.com
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Eps. 6 Guilt, Fatigue, Assisted Living & More - Caregiver Gold here!

Inspired CaringSep 13, 2020

00:00
20:13
151. Decluttering & Moving Part 3 - Organize by Design with Wendy Tridle

151. Decluttering & Moving Part 3 - Organize by Design with Wendy Tridle

Wendy Tridle's company, Organize by Design, helps people tackle the big move from their home to a senior living community by providing a lot of understanding and hand-holding along the way.

Wendy shares that the biggest regret she hears from seniors who move to senior living is that they waited so long to make the move. They wish they had taken advantage of their senior living community sooner.

Death, illness, divorce, and job loss may spur on a big move, where emotions are already running high. Her mediation certification has helped many families manage the discomfort of tough situations like intoxicated (adult) children, sorting through who gets what items or simply being the one to break the news that 3 couches will not fit in the new space.

She shares a lot of her client's stories and specific examples of how to make this a smoother process for everyone involved.

Connect with Wendy here!

https://www.facebook.com/OrganizebyDesignNE

https://www.organizebydesign.info/

Mar 27, 202454:38
150. Decluttering and Moving Part 2 - Rekempt with Rachelle Pfeifer

150. Decluttering and Moving Part 2 - Rekempt with Rachelle Pfeifer

Rachelle turned her love of cleaning and organization into her passion for helping people feel comfortable and relaxed in their homes.

What she has discovered is decluttering is not just about making spaces look beautiful. Her process helps people live their lives with intention, so they can focus on what is most important to them.

Rachelle shares practical steps and unique strategies on how to move through belongings.

She has found that It is easier for people to lighten the burden of stuff in their homes when they start by organizing items. This helps people know what they have and makes it easier to begin letting things go.

It's also helpful to look for those easy wins like a linen closet, spice cabinet, or simply moving things back into the rooms they belong to get the ball rolling.

Going through sentimental items is like time travel. It's important to breathe, take a minute to process, and take breaks as needed.

Rachelle wants to ensure that clutter doesn't creep back in. Her mindful approach also supports her client's taking a look at their daily habits and how they want to use their time.

This was such a unique way to approach this process, I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did!

Connect with Rachelle here:

https://rekempt.com/

https://www.facebook.com/rekempt54

https://www.youtube.com/@RekemptHomeOrganization


Mar 20, 202446:32
149. Decluttering & Moving Part 1 with She Sells Jersey Shores, Patti Green

149. Decluttering & Moving Part 1 with She Sells Jersey Shores, Patti Green

Two of the most daunting tasks people face are the decision to move out of a home they've lived in a long time and how to manage all of their stuff.

Patti shares that the clutter, loss of independence, and fear of change are what hold many people back from making a move to a smaller space.

Patti offers some tips about how to better age in place. Like being sure to have the right environment set up, which can include things like paint color to distinguish rooms, handrails, and pulling up throw rugs.

Her perspective that your home/space is supposed to serve you for a certain chapter of your life is a slight shift in thought processes that can help move the needle.

Also, if you're an adult child, be sure your things are out of the house! “Your home is living space, not someone else's storage space.” Francine Jay

Be sure expectations of time working on house clean out projects are being managed. Maybe the person you're helping needs the distraction from treatments, so going through a few things is helpful in that way vs tackling a bigger project.

Starting small with easy spaces like bathroom cabinets or the TV stand can help you gain some momentum!

Connect with Patti on social. She has so many great tips that you won't want to miss!

https://www.instagram.com/shesellsjerseyshore/

https://www.facebook.com/SheSellsJerseyShore


If the thought crossed your mind "I'm not sure they're safe at home anymore", you want to check out Illuminating Senior Living. This will help give you direction on when it is time to start the moving process!

Mar 13, 202428:19
148. A Better Hospital Stay with Dr. Monique Nugent

148. A Better Hospital Stay with Dr. Monique Nugent

The hospital can be a scary and confusing place so after 15 years of treating patients, Hospitalist, Dr. Monique Nugent, wrote the book on how to have a more successful hospital stay!

Prescription for Admission will help you receive better treatment and improve your experience at the hospital. This complete guide provides the critical information you need to navigate the hospital—so you can stay calm, feel confident, and focus on healing after a health crisis.

In this episode, she talks about:

  • Not all hospitals can do everything you may need, it depends on which type you are in.
  • Knowing where to access the patient's critical life-saving information, like a medication list and past surgeries, is vitally important.
  • There are certain legal documents we all need, MOLST/POLST, Advance Directives, and Healthcare Proxy so decisions can quickly be made in the hospital.
  • She offers a pre-hospitalization checklist.
  • Setting clear, achievable, reasonable communication goals with hospital staff is vital for success.
  • Choosing 1 person for the staff to communicate with makes it easier for the family.
  • Do not isolate yourself, you need rest and support, when someone is in the hospital.
  • A hospital visit is an active process. Once someone is stable, this is our time to be figuring out what to do next.
  • Caregiving does not end with the hospitalization, in fact, most of the time it ramps up after the hospital stay.
  • The case manager needs to be communicated with as soon as possible if there is another elderly person at home providing care or if there is no additional support in the home. If you need someone to go to short-term rehab so you can get things lined up at home, tell them!
  • Nothing happens in the hospital in isolation. Labs, radiology, and pathology are all working together and these groups don't all necessarily work 7 days a week. Neither does your health insurance.

There is so much great information here and I hope you will connect with Dr. Nugent and grab your copy of her book!

https://drmoniquenugent.com/about-the-author/

Buy Perscription for Admission Here


If you are beginning to think your parent may need senior living. This is your time to act and get the information you need!

Illuminating Senior Living will answer all of your questions and help you take that next important step.

Mar 06, 202451:45
147. Pivotal Points in Caregiving with Robin Weeks
Feb 28, 202446:38
146. FTD with Candace

146. FTD with Candace

Candace has been caring for her bipolar mother her entire life. The difference with FTD (frontotemporal dementia) is that, unlike a bipolar episode, the care required never ends.

Isolation comes fast when caring for a family member. When the world shut down in 2020, she knew the isolation would be a temporary challenge for others, but it is an ongoing reality for family caregivers.

In this episode, Candace shares how learning to read her mother's body language has been a game-changer in how they manage their days. "Behavior is communication" and being a detective has helped them be more successful.

She realized that everything is a phase. Challenging things will stop, and new challenges will pop up to adjust to.

She learned that with sundowning, the environment matters. She sets them both up for success even by adjusting the environment as early as noon.

Turning her frustration about her mother's "shadowing" (following her around) to gratitude that she knew where her mom was, helped reframe how she was feeling throughout her day.
Candace shares so much insight, wisdom, and many strategies to help you be successful. I know you will have some great takeaways from this conversation.



Connect with Candace here:

https://ourftdjourney.com/
https://www.facebook.com/ourftdjourney
https://www.linkedin.com/in/ourftdjourney/

etsy.com/shop/OurFTDJourney
ourjourney@ourftdjourney.com

 

 Are you trying to figure out if senior living is the next best move?  Check out Illuminating Senior Living to get all of the answers you need to make the right decision!


Feb 22, 202437:12
145. Physical Therapy and UBStronger 55+ with Betsy Spieler, PT

145. Physical Therapy and UBStronger 55+ with Betsy Spieler, PT

Movement in our body is imperative for us to age well and it is never too soon, or too late, to get started!

Betsy Spieler is a Physical Therapist who while working in a Nursing Home, saw the need to reach people in the community sooner. In May 2022 she co-founded UBStronger 55+ in Omaha to further fulfill her passion for helping older adults regain and maintain their independence, develop resiliency and increase vitality through a contemporary, research-based approach to fitness for older adults. 

In this episode, Betsy and I discuss 2 options for your health.

1) The benefits of Physical Therapy and how to access a PT

2) How to avoid needing PT in the first place!

UBStronger 55+ is designed with evidence-based programs to accommodate your level of mobility and help you safely reach your goals. They program functional strengthening exercises that apply to real-life movements as well as balance and agility exercises to optimize your mobility. They also focus on nutrition and community, both of which also play major roles in your aging outcomes.

You will also learn about the two important metrics often used to measure a person's "health span", grip strength, and the ability to get up off the floor (even if you use furniture).

We don’t want to just live a long time, we want to have quality of life too!

To learn more about UBStronger 55+

Check out their ⁠⁠website ⁠⁠

E-mail UBStronger55@gmail.com

Call UBX: 402-934-2348

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/UBStronger

Betsy Spieler, PTBoard Certified Geriatric Clinical SpecialistCertified in Modern Management of the Older Adult Owner, Stay Strong Physical Therapy & Wellness, LLC Co-founder/Coach UBStronger 55+ at UBX Gym Physical Therapist at Hillcrest Millard. Betsy is a Physical Therapist with 25 years of experience working in outpatient orthopedics, acute care, home care and skilled rehabilitation settings as well as providing educational seminars to community and professional groups. She is currently specializing in the treatment of older adults with complex medical conditions in her clinical practice.


P.S. 70% of adults age 65 and older at some point will need senior care services! Illuminating Senior Living answers all of your senior living questions and teaches you how to have these conversations with your family members. This course will set you up for success to avoid the next crisis!

Feb 14, 202444:04
144. Dreamweaver Foundation with Erinn Drouin

144. Dreamweaver Foundation with Erinn Drouin

Dreamweaver Foundation is on a mission to help older adults realize their dreams and connect with hope! They do this through 2 primary programs.

1) They make dreams come true for terminally ill seniors living in senior care communities. These dreams may be something as simple as a themed birthday party, a visit with a family member they haven't seen in a while, or even a trip to Florida. No dream is too small or too big for Dreamweaver to help with!

Having these dreams come true has been known to spark hope and purpose for the person receiving them and create lasting memories for families.

2) Their partnership with GrandPad connects isolated seniors with their families and interesting programming. These straightforward devices eliminate confusing technology and are adaptive so easier to use. They are available to everyone in the US, for both people living at home or in a care community. You can go directly to GrandPad to learn more. If resources are limited, apply for a scholarship through Dreamweaver.

Erin shares heartwarming stories and inspires ideas on how to help our loved ones live each day with more joy.

Contact Dreamweaver Foundation to nominate someone for a dream or apply for a GrandPad by visiting their website, https://dreamweaver.org/


P.S. Illuminating Senior Living helps families understand how to make the best decision about senior living and how to have those conversations. You're doing a great job! Keep up the great work!

Feb 07, 202440:02
143. Make Plans, Not Promises
Feb 02, 202427:37
142. Adjusting to Senior Living with Mindy Crouch of Pando Geriatrics

142. Adjusting to Senior Living with Mindy Crouch of Pando Geriatrics

Pando Geriatrics specializes in the mental health of seniors through counseling services appointments via telehealth, in-office, or in-home (in the Omaha area).

Seniors are often dealing with health crises, loss of control in their lives, loss of independence, or living arrangement transitions, just to name a few of life's major curve balls.

We talk about strategies to help our family members through these transitions.
Mindy emphasizes the importance of talking about plans before you are in a crisis. Caregiver stress increases the risk of death significantly, so we need to care for caregivers!
She talks about empowering seniors to be part of their living arrangements solution by checking out multiple places in advance. "Let's make the plan we hope no one needs, but at least it’s in place” which can also help with the adjustment.

Sometime after a move seniors have a sense of homelessness, having to dispose of their material possessions factor into this feeling. It's hard to process when someone else is having to go through all of your stuff and getting rid of it.

Some ready reminders from our conversation:

  • Validate how someone is feeling – do not minimize what they are saying and expressing.  Sometimes listening, not fixing, is what someone needs.
  • The important next step is to help them have some control back into this situation.
  • Things can feel out of control, but how we respond to a situation is in our control.
  • It takes 3 months to adjust to something new.
  • Focus on the end goal of what you want things to look like and get started on changing the habit right away.
  • Motivation doesn’t happen first, forcing the new habit then getting into the rythem will help!
  • Happiness is a choice and no one is happy all of the time.
    People are allowed to have a bad day, even if they’re living with dementia.

 

Mindy Crouch, LCSW, LIMHP, LISW

https://www.pandogeriatrics.com/

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100057440799930


Illuminating Senior Living is the video course you need to get the ball rolling to understand senior living!

Feb 01, 202442:21
141. Observing Your Own Self

141. Observing Your Own Self

It is SO easy to live on autopilot and just plow through our days. Unfortunately, that leaves a lot of room to mindlessly be triggered, anxiety to build, and feeling off track with areas in our lives.

What are your Love Languages? What are your Core Values? What are your Gallup Strengths?

When we pull all of this data together, it helps us understand who we are and the energy we are bringing to our relationships and life.

I love working with clients to help them understand themselves even better, teach them how to observe themselves and in the moment determine what they want to happen next. When you observe your ownself, it gives you the power to do the most immediate next best thing to support yourself.

Everything that has created your success in other areas of your life also applies to this role within the family as a caregiver. So pay attention, see what is working for you and what's not, and let's make a plan for that next first step!


Illuminating Senior Living is the only comprehensive program that will help you before a move to senior living. You don't need to be an expert, you just need this information.

When is it time to move?

What to look for and how to choose?

What are the objections and How to have the conversations

And more! Check it out HERE.

Jan 26, 202412:22
140. Caregiving Support with Bill Cohen

140. Caregiving Support with Bill Cohen

Join me in the conversation with Bill about caring for his mom and turning his pain into a passion to help other families on this caregiving journey. Here's a note from Bill to you!

Hi, I am Bill Cohen.

My loving and talented mother, Sheila, lost her home to Hurricane Katrina. Then, she lost her health, ability to create beautiful art and, ultimately, her life due to Alzheimer's. For almost 10 years, I was her primary caregiver and advocate, not just her son. I turned my personal loss into my passion for supporting other caregivers. 

After “retiring” from state employment after 25 years and entering my “encore career”, I am a caregiver support group and memory cafe leader, podcast guest, and speaker, a Certified Senior Advisor (CSA)®, an elder mediator, and a caregiving support consultant. I have completed several caregiving courses through the Alzheimer's Association and the Society for Certified Senior Advisors (CSA)®, and also earned business degrees from Boston and Portland State Universities. 

I am a native New Englander and have lived in the Portland, Oregon area for almost 39 years with my wife and supporter of over 40 years, Lori.  Here are all of the ways you can reach me.


bill@cohencaregivingsupport.com 

https://linktr.ee/CohenSupport

https://cohencaregivingsupport.com/services

Jan 24, 202445:12
139. Time

139. Time

Time is tricky. Sometimes it feels like it's moving slowly, other times it feels so fast. We all have the same amount of hours in the day, yet how each of us engages with time can be so different.

Is TIME one of your Core Values? I had hours and hours stuck in airports recently and didn't get anything accomplished during that time. I was OK with my lack of productivity, I was generally OK sitting around the airport for 9 hours.

It was when my core values of integrity, faith, and connection felt triggered that caused me to feel sad about the delayed flights and not being with my mom when she needed me.

How we feel about time and engage with time makes up our lives. When it comes to losing people we love, it never feels like we had enough time with them.

I walk you through an exercise to unpack your thoughts around time and invite you to reflect on observations so you can engage with time in the most meaningful ways.


Questions about a move to senior living? Illuminating Senior Living answers all your questions and puts you in the best position to figure out the next step for your family!


Jan 20, 202417:10
138. Hope Organizing with Lisa Tonjes Moritz
Jan 17, 202438:35
137. Together For Sharon with Sharon's Son, George
Jan 03, 202435:27
136. Year End Reflection
Dec 31, 202321:54
135. Holiday Management

135. Holiday Management

Managing the holidays can be tough under the best of circumstances, but when we have new situations at play or living arrangements happening, it can make it much harder. As family caregivers, we have our share of challenges.

As you step into these next couple of weeks, I want to share some strategies to help you have the best possible outcomes so you can relax and enjoy the season.

  1. Be really open to the idea that some things have changed.
  2. Communication to manage expectations.
  3. Give your family members credit.
  4. Set them up for success.
  5. Be willing to be uncomfortable.
  6. Think about how you want to feel.
Dec 17, 202323:15
134. Radio Talking Books with Bekah Jerde

134. Radio Talking Books with Bekah Jerde

Radio Talking Books is an extraordinary service that helps keep people connected, informed and entertained!

Their mission is to provide human-voiced information choices to individuals who have disabilities that prevent them from reading.

RTBN programming includes: readings from 17 Nebraska regional newspapers, including the Grand Island Independent and Scottsbluff Star Herald as well as live daily readings of the Omaha World Herald and Lincoln Journal Star; weekly regional grocery and department store ads; current information from over 70 magazines; and more.  We recently added programming including: Mind Your Business, featuring Midlands Business Journal and Strictly Business; Nebraska Virtual Newsstand highlighting online news sources like NOISE, Flatwater Free Press, Nebraska Examiner, and Nebraska Sunrise; and Southeast Nebraska Newspapers and Sioux City Journal to our newspaper readings. 

Additionally, The Listening Link program assists blind, visually impaired, and learning disabled students in eliminating educational barriers they face by working with area schools and colleges, providing human-voiced recordings of textbooks and other course material required for degree completion and academic success. 

Volunteers provide over 2,000 hours of recorded textbooks and other educational materials that are not already available commercially or through such sources as the Library of Congress or Recordings for the Blind and Dyslexic.


“It has been a godsend. I listen daily. I have been depressed because I can no longer read. I depend upon your news and ads,”

Reach out to RTBS through their website to see what options are available for you! https://rtbs.org/


Illuminating Senior Living is the only program of it's kind that helps family caregivers figure out the confusing maze of senior living! This online program helps you know exactly what to look for and how to choose the best place for your family member. It also offers suggestions on how to best have this conversation. You've got this! These videos will totally help.

Dec 06, 202333:11
133. 3 Pillars of Caregiving - Curiosity, Communication, Compassion
Dec 01, 202321:24
132. Inside Senior Living with Host, Melissa Fritz

132. Inside Senior Living with Host, Melissa Fritz

This new Documentary TV Show, Inside Senior Living, is going to take you on an eye opening journey behind the scenes with real families navigating the conversations and decisions to move into a senior living community.

Executive Producer and Host, Melissa Fritz, is a certified lifespan wellness coach. Her passion for helping seniors and their families started as a Sales Manager for Brookdale Senior Living and with her own experience being the daughter of a father who had Alzheimer’s Dementia and recently passed away after living in a memory care community.

The idea for creating Inside Senior Living was born after witnessing the isolation of older adults at the senior living community level during the Covid-19 pandemic coupled with her search to find quality informative, inspirational and entertaining content to share with caregivers and family members. Shows like HGTV’s “House Hunters,” Netflix “World’s Most Amazing Vacation Rentals,” and TLC’s “Long Lost Family” gave Melissa the inspiration to create a docu-series, home-search style TV show made specifically for seniors and their “sandwich generation” adult children.

Her mission is to bring the conversation of aging and senior living choices into mainstream culture. She has an unwavering compassion and energy that I know you'll love.

The next season of this show is being recorded in Minnesota. If you would like to be considered as a featured family apply HERE!

If you need help understanding what the options are for Assisted Living, Memory Care and Nursing Home care and how to have these sensitive conversations with your family members, check out: Illuminating Senior Living!


Nov 29, 202348:42
131. Fall Prevention with Michael McGregor PT
Nov 27, 202333:52
130. Secondary Caregiver Role
Nov 18, 202321:47
129. Friendships
Nov 10, 202322:01
128. Positive Caregiving with Sarah Teten Kanter, Ph.D.

128. Positive Caregiving with Sarah Teten Kanter, Ph.D.

Dr. Teten Kanter earned her Ph.D. in Gerontology at the University of Nebraska Omaha and her research led her to write, Positive Caregiving an alternative, affirming perspective to the overwhelmingly negative story surrounding caring for an older adult.

In this delightful conversation we discuss her book which offers the combined principles of positive psychology, mindfulness, reminiscence therapy, and lifestyle medicine.

The simple activity ideas within are designed to immerse caregivers in gratitude, empathy, forgiveness, love, and awe. Positive Caregiving encourages us to make the most of the caregiving experience.

Positive Caregiving focuses on the emotional journey and personal growth inherent in the caregiving experience, helping caregivers embrace, celebrate, and honor this critical role in modern society.

Positive Caregiving Book Available for purchase HERE.

Sarah Teten Kanter, Ph.D., is on a mission to help people embrace the gift of growing older. She is the founder and CEO of Positive Caregiving™, an organization focused on making caregiving and care receiving a positive experience and an opportunity for personal growth. She holds a doctorate and a master’s degree in gerontology from the University of Nebraska-Omaha. Prior to pursuing her passion in gerontology, she was the chief marketing officer and chief customer officer at Kenexa, now an IBM company. She lives in Lincoln, Nebraska, with her family.

#caregivercoach #inspiredcaring #familycaregiver #illuminatingseniorliving

www.michelemagner.com

Nov 09, 202336:25
127. Deepest Darkest Thoughts
Nov 03, 202321:04
126. Caregiver Relief with Dr. Logan DuBose

126. Caregiver Relief with Dr. Logan DuBose

Dr. DuBose is an Emergency Department Doctor who watches his senior patients come to the hospital for care, return to their homes, only to show back up at the hospital.

Up to 50% of the patients he sees at the hospital, are due to lack of care support in the home, because people struggle with ongoing care of these major issues:

  1. Wound infections leading to sepsis.
  2. Urinary track infections leading to altered mental status and incontinence.
  3. Diabetes going uncontrolled.
  4. Failure to thrive due to lack of nutrition and difficulties with eating.
  5. Families that are just simply not able to take care of an individual and come to the hospital to seek resources.

As a result, people are using the hospital to manage these chronic issues, which is an unsustainable model of care.

Frustrated with lack of support families face trying to care for their elderly family members, Dr. DuBose wants to end this vicious cycle.

His goal is to help people preserve their quality of life at home, support their basic needs and stay out of the hospital.

Generating support from the National Institute on Aging and created Olera Care to connect families with a customized care planning tool to support resources they need.

Olera Care is helping you map an Eldercare Ecosystem to streamline your resources for right now and understand what the future may hold and how much all of it will cost.

Seven out of ten of us will need additional care in our later years. Having the information you need right now will help set you and your loved ones up for success!

Contact Dr. DuBose: logan@olera.care

www.michelemagner.com


#familycaregiversupport #caregivercoach #familycaregiving #inspiredcaring #illuminatingseniorliving

Oct 25, 202348:43
125. Ketamine Assisted Therapy with Tim Brady
Oct 18, 202343:32
124. Having Grace
Oct 13, 202314:25
123. Brave Boundaries with Dr. Sasha Shillcutt

123. Brave Boundaries with Dr. Sasha Shillcutt

Sasha K. Shillcutt, MD, MS, FASE is the best-selling author of Between Grit and Grace: How to be Feminine and Formidable. In her new and empowering book Brave Boundaries: Strategies to Say No, Stand Strong, and Take Control of Your Time (HCI Books, September 6, 2022), Shillcutt describes how she moved from simply surviving to thriving by stepping out of everyone’s expectations of her, stepping into her own power, and recreating her life according to her values, priorities, and well-being. She began saying no to others and yes to herself. She began to set boundaries. “When I overcame burnout, found my passion in medicine again, and started to embrace my full and authentic self, I realized this important truth: the ONE change I made was not a career change, a partner change, or some life-gimmick—it was learning to see the cracks in the foundation of my well-being and seal them up with boundaries,” she writes. “The single most powerful weapon we possess to fight against overwhelm, exhaustion, and burnout is not what you think ...The key to living an empowered life is the ability to create and enforce radical, lifesaving boundaries—boundaries no one is teaching us, as women, to set.”

As a physician, professor, speaker, and CEO & Founder of the organization Brave Enough, Sasha has taught thousands of women to achieve work-life control through her courses and conferences and speaks frequently to executives and leaders on the topics of professional resilience and gender equity.

Family caregivers struggle with boundaries and the result is exhaustion and burnout. This impacts not just our own health, but the people we are caring for. This valuable conversation will save you time and energy, helping you feel empowered to say "no" and not feel guilty as a result.


Amazon link for Brave Boundaries Book: https://a.co/d/6n9lLBP

#braveenough #braveboundaries

#illuminatingseniorliving

Oct 11, 202336:13
122. PTSD From Vacation With Extended Family
Oct 06, 202324:58
121. Compassionate Callers with Bina Colman
Sep 27, 202325:52
120. Running Thru Possible Scenarios with Deborah

120. Running Thru Possible Scenarios with Deborah

My Mom has been my wing-woman for 20 years as my husband and I have cared for 4 family members, including her mom, my Grandma Ferris. With every phone call I made, she was taking notes, not just on what what happening in the lives of our family members, but how she would want to handle each of the scenarios. Her life added a layer of complexity when she married our favorite and beloved, Papa Ron, who is Canadian and they live in Canada.

Now, I do have to add here that my mother is a retired corporate Attorney and we're pretty frank, matter of fact folks. Conversations about logistics have flowed easily between us, and my sister, Rachel, for years. Being a family caregiver is no joke and she watched the toll it took on us to have to extract information out of relatives. She's pretty direct towards the end of this episode that some people, they ain't talking. It's just going to be nearly impossible.

Our hope with this episode is it give you some framework for guidance on having these conversations. Per usual, we get off on a couple of tangents, but I do eventually circle us back.

She has documented all of her accounts with contact information and provided that on a thumb drive for us. She also has sent us copies of her POA, Will and Living Will. We know she's already burned the journals, so she's basically covered the bases!

Here are the scenarios she came up with. You may have some of your own to add as well.

Scenario 1 – My husband dies and I’m in good health. We still own and live in the condo in Canada.

Scenario 2 – I have a debilitating condition that’s temporary. My husband is still alive.

Scenario 3 – I have a debilitating condition that’s temporary. My husband is not alive.

Scenario 4 – I have been diagnosed with a terminal illness that is not curable and involves unpleasant and painful treatment to keep me alive.

Scenario 5 – I have dementia that is progressing to the point that I can’t remember my family members.

Scenario 6 – I’m older and don’t want to live on my own any longer. My husband is either dead or living in some kind of home in Canada because I’m unable to take care of him. I would like to live in independent living in the US.

Scenario 7 – I’m still able to live on my own but have reached a point where I don’t get out much, maybe even can’t drive. I will want in-home help and companionship.


Preferences for Care - She outlines in her document a list of things she enjoys for care, around haircuts, food preferences, etc.

Resources: Financial, Medical, Contact Information for people we'd need to contact.


By the way, my super cool mom has her own website, that she designed herself, where she shares recipes and a blog. Check it out! https://thecuriousenior.com/category/blog/


#inspiredcaring #caregivercoach #agingwell #familycaregiving

Sep 22, 202354:48
119. Caring for her Mom - a conversation with Ellen

119. Caring for her Mom - a conversation with Ellen

When Ellen's mother became ill, the family rallied together to provide her with love, attention and care through the end of her life. It's not always that siblings agree and get along with one another during this emotional time. Ellen shares her heartwarming story about strength, mutual support and her mom's final days. I'm incredibly grateful to her for coming on and having this conversation with me.

When we share our stories we connect, uplift and inspire one another to keep going. Thank you Ellen.


www.michelemagner.com

#caregivercoach #familycaregiving #inspiredcaring #aging #agingparents #caregivingjourney #conversationwithcaregivers

Sep 20, 202349:51
117. When Am I Going Home - Responding to This Tough Question

117. When Am I Going Home - Responding to This Tough Question

This question, by far, is one of the most triggering questions family members have to respond to. There are so many emotions that spike to the surface when this is asked, and it can swirl us into guilt, doubt, fear, sadness, anger you name it, pretty quickly.

If someone is not living with Alzheimer's or another dementia, this usually presents as subtle jabs that can eventually be triggering leading to explosion or argument. The bottom line is, things are where they are for a reason or number of reasons, that are out of our control. Our goal is to let the comments slide, be reassuring, validate the person's emotional response to the situation, generally do our best to not fall into the trigger trap and respond in a loving way.

The game changes when the person asking is living with dementia. It's never a one and done conversation. They don't remember asking the question. They're confused about what is going on. We have worked hard to figure out this new living arrangement and get things set up, so it's upsetting when they're repeatedly asking about going home. It's a constant reminder that everything has changed.

We desire for them to not ask this because we want to feel a certain way. Of course we want people to feel settled and happy. Under the best of circumstances, a move takes time to feel settled in. When someone is living with dementia this takes an extraordinarily longer amount of time and in my experience, eventually, people do get there and stop asking. Eventually.

In this episode I talk about:

  • Keeping perspective on moving.
  • Home may be a feeling more than a geographical place.
  • How to answer the same question a zillion times as if it's the first time they've asked.
  • Remembering they have a brain disease, keeping our energy in check as we're responding.
  • Thinking about the reason behind why they want to go home, it may not be what you're thinking.
  • Offering responses that are temporary and in service to others.
  • How to redirect the conversation.

This is a VERY tough time and I want to uplift that you are amazing and doing a great job. Be kind and patient with yourself too. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself, restore yourself, and recharge so you can feel patient during this chapter.

www.michelemagner.com

Dementia Educators to follow:

Teepa Snow: https://www.instagram.com/teepasnows_pac/

Dementia Darling: https://www.instagram.com/dementiadarling/

BeLightCare: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/belightcare/⁠

Dementia Careblazers: https://www.instagram.com/dementia_careblazers/

Sep 15, 202330:41
118. Just Breathe - with Kimberly Faith

118. Just Breathe - with Kimberly Faith

How often do you find yourself holding your breath through out the day?

Kimberly Faith is a powerful healer in the holistic industry. Using breathwork, she's discovered her purpose and inspires others to do the same.

She's a rebel who challenges societal norms and invites others to push past their limitations and embrace their full potential. Her somatic and 9D breathwork sessions take participants on a journey of self-discovery and healing, helping them deepen their connection with themselves.

How lucky am I that she a dear friend of mine! I've known Kimberly for years and have felt the impactful healing of "breathing" with her.

Get ready to explore new frontiers of consciousness with Kimberly Faith!


Linktree for ALL the goodness connections and options! https://linktr.ee/adventuresofkimberlyfaith

Instagram: www.instagram.com/adventuresofkimberlyfaith/

Book a call: https://calendly.com/kimberlyfaithrayburn/30-minute-complimentary-exploration-call?month=2023-09

Website: https://www.kimberlyfaith.net/

#kimberlyfaith #justbreathe #breathworkhealing #inspiredcaring

 

Sep 13, 202339:12
116. Up With Seniors - Connection & Conversations for Seniors with Mike Bianchi
Sep 06, 202328:07
115. Next Level Aging Part 3 - The Fun Stuff!
Sep 01, 202301:06:02
114. Closure The Lie We Tell Ourselves with Author, Kim Isherwood
Aug 30, 202346:11
113. Wake Up - Pay Attention - Choose

113. Wake Up - Pay Attention - Choose

This is one of the most complicated chapters of our life as we stride through middle age, with huge changes happening and responsibilities shifting.

There are so many incredible influences in our life encouraging us to WAKE UP, telling us not to numb out and sleep walk through the next decade. Your health, your aging trajectory, your life are counting on you to wake up, pay attention and choose, so you can joyfully reflect back on your life rather than reflect with regrets.

Wake up to the idea that something can be different.

Pay Attention to where and when discomfort is present and where and when there is joy.

Choose what you want and investigate how to get it.


I reference a number of mighty movements that are happening in our culture right now, to wake up our consciousness and empower us with information to make the choices that work best for us. Check them all out here:

Illuminating Senior Living - Don't be left in the dark! Your senior living questions are all answered in this online video series available to you RIGHT HERE.

The Awakening Superstar Summit in Miami, FL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULHxeH2h-JA

FairPlay Life: https://www.instagram.com/fairplaylife/

Sarah Jenks: https://www.instagram.com/sarahjenks/

Jonathan Brajtbord : https://www.instagram.com/jonathanbrajtbord/

Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity by Dr. Peter Attia: https://a.co/d/iWrYLE8

#inspiredcaring #fairplaylife #sarahjenks #jonathanbrajtbord #wakeup #payattention #choose #theawakening #outlive #longevity #aging #seniorliving #healthyliving #lifespan #familycaregiving #caregiver

Aug 25, 202321:02
112. Rehab - Short Term Stay in Skilled Nursing
Aug 18, 202336:23
111. Prepared vs Ready

111. Prepared vs Ready

Here's something I've noticed. Sometimes there are certain things that we are just never ready for. No matter how much we feel we have prepared.

For me, feeling prepared is about making a list and checking boxes. Figuring out what I need to DO to feel ready for something, buying stuff or visualizing an outcome. It's the work I do on the front end.

Ready, for me, actually has a sense of completion before the thing has occurred. There's an idea that there's enough preparation I can do, to generate a feeling that I desire, to feel like I am ready.

Sometimes no matter how prepared we are, we aren't ready. The reality is, ready or not, we're going to have do something anyway.


Senior Living is confusing but it's not a mystery! This online video series will give you the information you need and answer your questions, so you can feel more prepared when the time comes. It is $57 for a limited time, check out the details here: https://michele-magner.mykajabi.com/offers/fePMz4eJ

Aug 11, 202313:05
110. Why They Don't Want Our Help (and how to begin to let the light in)

110. Why They Don't Want Our Help (and how to begin to let the light in)

It is incredibly frustrating to see someone who needs our help and have them refuse it. Family care-giving is hard enough when things are status-quo. When aging family members are clearly declining, it can be pretty scary to watch things unravel without a plan in place.

There are 6 theories I share with you about why people don't seek help:

  1. Continuity Theory - they think it can keep going the way it always has
  2. Social Behavioral Model - everything that makes someone who they are (race, gender, age, income, etc.) all play a part in if someone accepts help
  3. Reactance Theory - freedom and autonomy feel threatened
  4. Attribution Theory - unable to control and predict the environment, they blame themselves or the environment
  5. Equity Theory - it throws the relationship out of balance, doesn't feel equal anymore
  6. Threat to Self Esteem - what type of help is being provided, who is doing it impacts our willingness or reluctance

(Community Resources for Older Adults, Robbyn Wacker & Karen Roberto)

The goal is to let a little bit of light in through a crack. It can be hard to go from A to Z, but maybe get from A to B.

I share strategies in this episode on how to get the ball rolling.

ALSO, VERY EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT!

My new course, Illuminating Senior Living, is available! This online video series is going to answer all of your questions about senior living.

  • When is it time to move?
  • What to look for and how to choose?
  • Understanding the levels of care.
  • How are we going to pay for this?
  • What the experts want you to know.

Click here to check it out - https://michele-magner.mykajabi.com/offers/fePMz4eJ

www.michelemagner.com

Aug 04, 202319:14
109. My Alcohol Relationship Update

109. My Alcohol Relationship Update

Almost 6 years ago, I COMPLETELY changed my relationship with alcohol. Something I never thought I would have to do, want to do, or would be able to do. But the bottom line is drinking wasn't working for me anymore. I didn't like how I felt or acted when I over-drank. I didn't have the ability to just have 1 glass of wine and be done. Today is completely different. I still don't think about it. Because of the shift, I'm dreaming bigger dreams and reaching different goals that I thought were unimaginable. My body has stabilized in weight, blood sugar, and attitude. The biggest factor is I'm so much happier and focused in my life. I'm so proud of myself for having the awareness that something needed to change and then digging in to make it happen. It was hard a first, but is now effortless. Where are you on your drinking journey? I'd love to hear from you.

For your reference here are the 3 recorded podcast episodes on:

1. why I stopped drinking

2. how I stopped drinking

3. what has changed since I stopped drinking


www.michlemagner.com

Jul 28, 202316:03
108. Next Level Aging - Part 2: Setting Yourself Up For Success

108. Next Level Aging - Part 2: Setting Yourself Up For Success

If we're lucky, aging is happening whether we embrace it or not! As I look around at my aging role models, at 78, my mother is at the top of the list as someone who is aging well. Not just because she's beautiful inside and out, but because she is healthy, wealthy and wise in so many areas of her life. She takes no medications, works out multiple days a week, cooks delicious meals from scratch and recently built her own website!


This is Part 2 in our 3 part series where we talk about things she has done over the years to set herself up for success. We cover a lot of territory and her blog post with her complete list is available here:


https://thecuriousenior.com/category/blog/


If you need more support on your own aging journey or as you care for your family member, sign up for my email list on my website, www.michelemagner.com

Jul 21, 202358:44
107. Everything Can Change in 30

107. Everything Can Change in 30

Life can be unpredictable, especially when we are on this family caregiving journey, AND there are also so many things within our decision making process and control! If you really think about it, increments of 30 seconds, days, months, years, have a huge impact on our life. A lot can happen in those increments of time. Again, some of it in our control and some not so much.


When my clients feel stuck, we look for areas to disrupt thought processes to gain clarity and then focus on what needs to be changed. With clear thinking and specific goals it allows us to create the life that we desire, even when we are helping someone with their aging journey or managing kids that are still at home.


Www.michelemagner.com

Jul 14, 202312:51
106. Next Level Aging, Part 1 - What is Most Difficult

106. Next Level Aging, Part 1 - What is Most Difficult

Deborah Ferris is a retired Attorney, the founder of The Curious Senior (https://thecuriousenior.com/) who just celebrated her 78th birthday, and she is also my mom!

She and I have had countless conversations over the years about aging and family caregiving. Our goal with this episode is to have her share some of the struggles she is facing and she has entered, in her words, the "next level of aging". I wanted to better understand some of the things she is feeling challenged with.

Things like renewing drivers license, medical procedures and overall strength have surprised her along the way.

She also shares wisdom for people in her peer group who are facing similar things and offers suggestions to their kids as we try and help navigate it all.

This is a 2 part series. In our next episode together, we will talk about the many things she has done to set herself up for success to be aging so well!


#aging #familycaregiving #seniors #inspiredcaring #michelemagner

Jun 30, 202358:44
105. Setting Up Your Care Team with Fading Memories Host, Jennifer Fink

105. Setting Up Your Care Team with Fading Memories Host, Jennifer Fink

Even the most well-organized, loving, and harmonious family will eventually face the need for additional support. As the care needs of your family members grow, it becomes crucial to have the right individuals in your corner, ensuring that your own health and well-being are not compromised.


Allow me to present Jennifer Fink, the delightful host of the Fading Memories podcast. With her extensive caregiving background, Jennifer guides you through the process of assembling your care team well ahead of time, so that you are prepared when assistance becomes necessary.


In this episode, Jennifer also shares a valuable resource: Alzauthors.com, a website worth exploring for additional support and information. Join us as we delve into the essential steps of building a reliable care team to navigate the challenges that lie ahead.


Fading Memories Podcast - https://fadingmemoriespodcast.com/


#FamilySupportMatters #CaregivingJourney #CareTeamBuilding #HealthAndWellbeing #FadingMemoriesPodcast #CaringForLovedOnes #InspiredCaring #CaringFromTheHeart #CaregivingExperience #FindingTheRightSupport #AlzAuthors #CaregiverResources

Jun 26, 202344:07
Eps. 104 Boundaries Are Meant to Be Temporary

Eps. 104 Boundaries Are Meant to Be Temporary

Here's a novel idea. A boundary is put in place and the discomfort is temporary, because a permanent change gets made. Whaaat?

In this episode we explore how temporary boundaries lead to lasting change and personal growth. Discover the transformative power of setting limits and holding space for yourself and others. Join us on this journey of self-discovery as we embrace temporary boundaries for positive shifts in our lives. #inspiredcaring#coaching#inspiredcaring#dementia#michelemagner#seniorliving#familycaregivig#assistedliving#seniors#alzheimers#mindfulness#agingparents#nursinghome#elderlyparents#lifecoach#love#gratitude#caregiver#homehealth#mindset#consciousaging #aging

Jun 16, 202316:26
Eps. 103 Being Open to The Idea

Eps. 103 Being Open to The Idea

Sometimes it can be hard to imagine, but there is a chance that it may be worth considering, being open to the idea of something. In this thought-provoking episode, I invite you to join me on a personal journey of reflection and growth. Throughout my life, I've discovered the immense power of being open to new ideas and perspectives. From my role as a family caregiver to navigating relationships, career choices, and even my overall perspective on life, embracing openness has been a game-changer. Join me as I share my experiences and delve into topics such as admitting mistakes, offering heartfelt apologies, recognizing self-worth, appreciating diverse perspectives, and so much more. Together, let's explore the transformative power of openness and inspire one another to embrace it in our own lives. You are enough, and I'm excited to embark on this journey with you.

Jun 02, 202318:51
Eps. 102 My Unexpected Feelings When My Mother in Law Died

Eps. 102 My Unexpected Feelings When My Mother in Law Died

So. Many. Feelings.

In the latest episode of our podcast, I invite you to join me on a deeply personal exploration of the profound emotions experienced after the loss of a loved one. In this episode, I share my own journey of losing my mother-in-law and the unexpected feelings and challenges that emerged during this time of grief. Together, let's delve into the complexities of mourning and find solace in understanding that we are not alone in our experiences. Join me as we navigate the path of grief, reflect on the impact of loss, and discover meaningful ways to provide support during one of life's most challenging chapters. #inspiredcaring#coaching#inspiredcaring#dementia#michelemagner#seniorliving#familycaregivig#assistedliving#seniors#alzheimers#mindfulness#agingparents#nursinghome#elderlyparents#lifecoach#love#gratitude#caregiver#homehealth#mindset#consciousaging #aging

May 26, 202321:17