mind.life.me.

I actually recorded this episode many months ago, then left it and did nothing with it for ages. Which is ironic given in this ep we explore the idea that achieving things, changing behaviour and basically being human- is really, really hard. I'm human, just like you. I struggle to achieve what I want to achieve sometimes too- so let's explore this together.

In this episode I talk about:

It’s been a little while since I released a podcast episode, so I thought this was a good time to talk about giving ourselves permission to be ‘good enough’. As a long suffering perfectionist, I’ve often struggled with this concept… as a doctor, I’ve struggled with it even more. I mean, who wants a ‘good enough’ doctor?!? So in my musings this week I’ve tried to capture a lot of the concepts and issues around actually allowing ourselves to be ‘good enough’.

• What does it mean to give ourselves permission to be #goodenough ?
• Does giving ourselves permission to be ‘good enough’ mean we stop trying to do better?
• How does giving ourself permission to be ‘good enough’ relate to behaviour change psychology?
• How can we apply the principle of ‘good enough’ and use to to drive our practice of self compassion?

As always, you can connect with me in a variety of ways:

This has always been a big background thing for me, none of us probably talk about it enough though- how the fear of making a mistake can drastically temper our dreams and actions. Fear of making a mistake can be debilitating in our decision making in the present moment, stopping us from even doing anything. This episode I'm talking about  

• How this concept not only affects those of us who work in healthcare but also the perfectionists and worriers of the world (even more so if you happen to be all three!). 
• How our fear of making a mistake in the future can seriously affect our behaviour today. 
• How this future based thinking (and fear) relates to mindfulness and learning how to be in the present moment. 
• How to take the first step towards making a decision and committing to an action, despite the fear of making a mistake. 
• How this fear of making a mistake can even affect us as parents! 
• How much time we can regain in our lives by learning how to be more aware of this tendency and choosing to reinvest this energy into being more mindful. 

Holding space is a term used for creating the space within ourselves to process thoughts and emotions. It may seem self explanatory, but if it were so easy, why do so many of us struggle to hold onto uncomfortable feelings?

Instead we distract ourselves from them with extra stimulation (if you haven't already listened to the Stimulation Addiction episode do it after this one!) or we end up discharging our own emotional pain onto others inadvertently.

In this episode I talk about:

• What holding space actually means?
• How we can learn how to do it for ourselves?
• How we can teach our kids how to hold space too?

I also talked about a couple of resources in this episode that I'd love to share with you:

In the last two and a half years I've spent a lot of time reflecting on my own path to burn out and the lessons I've learnt from it. I've taken some of those lessons and built upon them to have a bit of think about why it seems that so many of us are struggling with chronic stress and burn out? The last few years have been (and continue to be) really challenging, but is it just that?

This episode, I talk about:

• My own experience of burning out and what I feel contributed to my path there.
• Some of the hard lessons I've learnt in my recovery- including the importance of rest.
• How learning how to complete the stress cycle is the key to dealing with chronic stress.
• The danger of saying "I can't" and having a fixed mindset.
• The difference between growing capacity and respecting our limitations.

This episode was a lot fun to record. Katie Cortes is a midwife, sleep consultant and mum of 4, so she knows a thing or two about the ‘perfect mother’ myth. Like me, she loves a good chat and could easily solve the worlds problems over a cup of tea! Together we’ve taken it upon ourselves to decide not only- where this myth comes from? But also what we can do to banish it from our lives?

So if you’re a mum of little or big kids, join us as we chat about:

- letting go of the guilt.

- learning how to be kind to ourselves as we ‘learn on the job’ as mums.

- how we can recognise ingrained patterns of behaviour in ourselves that might contribute to the ‘perfect mother myth’

- how vulnerability and self compassion can help our kids to side step the guilt we’ve internalised.

- where self care comes into it all.

Are you one of those people who has had "start meditating" or "practice mindfulness" on your to-do list for ages but not quite got there?

Well this is the episode for you!!

So many of us expect ourselves to be able to jump straight in and practice mindfulness perfectly, so much so that when we find it difficult it can be easy to give up. In this weeks episode I talk about:

• How this desire to practice perfectly can actually get in the way of us practicing at all.
• How everyday things you're already doing can be stepping stones into your mindfulness or meditation practice.
• That we still still need to be aware of our tendency towards stimulation addiction even with mindfulness and meditation.
• Most importantly- what you can do about it!!!

Is it actually a luxury to be able to take care of ourselves? Even more than that, is it a "luxury" to burn out? This week I've ventured into thought provoking territory as I reflect on: 

• How our deeply ingrained patterns of thought and behaviour might make self care seem luxurious. 
• Whether or not "burning out" is just a form of unrecognised privilege? (Please listen to the whole ep before you judge me on this one!) 
• How the modern world actually predisposes us to suffering from burn out. 
• Why our addiction to stimulation is what drives the difficulty in implementing sustainable self care practices. 

So I talk about this a lot. This idea that for most of us, our bodies and minds are simply addicted to the constant stimulation that being busy provides us. It takes time to wean ourselves off this addiction to stimulation.

In this weeks episode I talk about:

• What exactly stimulation addiction is.
• Why it feels so uncomfortable to meditate when we suffer from this.
• How our stress system works and why it is important to learn how to turn it down every now and again.
• Why terms like Adrenal Fatigue are becoming so common now days and why someone trying to sell you a supplement to 'treat it' is probably missing the actual point.
• How meditation and mindfulness are actually amazing tools for not only weaning ourselves off stimulation addiction but also your overall health moving forward.

As always, you can connect with me in a variety of ways:

I've never been much good as asking for help when I need it, I'm more of a "stick my head in the sand and tell everyone (including myself) that I'm fine" kind of person. Then I burnt out and really needed help.

So I've learnt some lessons about how to do a better job of asking for help and in this ep I talk about:

• How we often mistakenly fall into the trap of classing people as either givers or receivers of help, but rarely both.
• What basic needs are and how sometimes we do actually need other peoples help to fulfil them.
• That most of us are happy to be asked for help, but not comfortable asking for it for ourselves. What gives with that?!?
• How meditation and mindfulness can actually help us to do this better!

There is another cheeky meditation slipped into this ep so take care if driving or perhaps put it aside for a time when you can sit and relax.

Financial self care is a relatively new term that encompasses the idea that taking care of ourselves is actually about more than just physical health. Jess Brady is a financial advisor who specialises in working with younger people to put in place financial systems and plans that support their long term goals.

In this episode we talk about how:

• Talking about money can be especially difficult for women.
• We can learn to talk about money in a guilt and shame free way.
• We can support our future selves by putting in place systems that help us now.
• To beat the overwhelm and just get started.