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mindset over bullshit with Kendrick Avant

mindset over bullshit with Kendrick Avant

By Kendrick Avant, Professor of Gratitude

Welcome to mindset OVER bullshit w/ Kendrick Avant!

This is a podcast where each episode invites you to ride the currents of positivity. Join me and witness the transformative power of gratitude journaling, diving into personal stories, interviews with other Wheelchair Users, and practical tips that will elevate your mindset.

Let's embark on a journey together to cultivate gratitude and make every day a celebration of life's beautiful moments. Tune in, embrace the difference between being grateful and showing gratitude, ride it to a brighter, more positive perspective!

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mindset OVER bullshit w/ Kendrick Avant: Day 16 of 90: Monday, 5/30/22

mindset over bullshit with Kendrick AvantMay 30, 2022

00:00
13:47
MS Diary | Thursday, 3/28/24 | Decisions, decisions

MS Diary | Thursday, 3/28/24 | Decisions, decisions

MS Diary | Thursday, 3/28/24 | Decisions, decisions 

I only accepted this gig because it promoted employer healthcare. Blue Cross Blue Shield. 

The healthcare is $900 every 2-weeks. The paycheck is $1400 every 2-weeks. That means I'd bring home $500 or a $1000/mo. Then, I still pay 20% for my prescriptions after meeting a $3000 deductible. 

It won't work. No way. AND my major treatments aren't covered or in the formulary so those would be MY financial responsibilities. Over $100k/mo in medical treatments!! It won't work. NO way.

I will waive all coverage and continue what I'm doing. If this ain't manifestation, I don't know what it is. This is the Universe demanding I believe in me. 

Welp. Here. I. Go. Swanging and banging,  on the 1s and 2s…



Mar 28, 202401:55
MS Diary | Wednesday, 3/27/24 | Grateful how it's coming together 

MS Diary | Wednesday, 3/27/24 | Grateful how it's coming together 

MS Diary | Wednesday, 3/27/24 | Grateful how it's coming together 

I talk a LOT of shit. It's true, sincere, informative but I'm going to share.

In the great debate of medicine vs. wellness, I'm clearly siding with wellness. All my best experiences were with an intentional focus on yoga, diet, water, cannabis, sage, mindset… It was glorious. 

When I switched to Western Medicine, things changed. Don't get me wrong. I tried Western Medicine because I knew my Multiple Sclerosis was drastically “improving”. My health was dramatically declining. 

Results? I can't think of anything positive. Nothing, none, nada. That's why I've wanted to reverse course, go back to Wellness but it's soooo hard. Now that I'm physically worse, it's crazy difficult starting, damn near impossible to keep going.

Then, my homie paid for a MS Gym subscription. Wow. I'm still blown away. Next, the UT Volunteer Program chose me for its Wellness program. I get armbike, weights, bands, videos, instructions, weekly meetings with medical professionals, it's amazing!

*deep breathe*

Manifestations are happening. Blessings are aligning. 

Pressure is a MF.

If it is to be, it's all on me.



Mar 27, 202401:44
MS Diary | Monday, 3/25/24 | Dysphagia. It's here now.

MS Diary | Monday, 3/25/24 | Dysphagia. It's here now.

MS Diary | Monday, 3/25/24 | Dysphagia. It's here now.

I first experienced dysphagia last year. I'm getting it more and more. 

It's scary. Something about struggling to breathe throws you off your game. I'm using breathing exercises to manage it. 

Breathing exercises vs dysphagia - Dysphagia is my most recently developed symptom. It's also my scariest. It feels like my body forgets how to swallow. Not just solids, I'm struggling with liquid and AIR. It freaks everyone out which freaks me out even more. Freaking out, panicking during breathing is never a good thing. Saturday night, I tried something new. I put hands over my head and began breathing exercises. Inhale 1-2-3-4 (Stomach expands! That's the magic. It's kinda opposite of what you'd expect.). Exhale 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8 (Stomach goes IN.). The dysphagia didn't last as long as normal. I didn't try eating anymore but yes, I kept drinking. Doing forward, this is my treatment to keep calm, stay relaxed, focused on what I can control. *fingers crossed*



Mar 25, 202402:05
The latest security patch for your operating system is being installed; please DO NOT power off your system while this message is displayed.

The latest security patch for your operating system is being installed; please DO NOT power off your system while this message is displayed.

MS Diary | Friday, 3/22/24 | My wins & losses this week

I'm late y'all! No time for description



Mar 22, 202401:38
MS Diary | Thursday, 3/21/24 | Give yourself grace

MS Diary | Thursday, 3/21/24 | Give yourself grace

MS Diary | Thursday, 3/21/24 | Give yourself grace

I'm not the only one grappling with sacrifice and worth. It's one of the reasons I started this blog and promote motivation to Tribespeople. I tend to think there's no point in wasting money to better my life. 

LIES! There IS a point. If nothing else, taking better care of myself/yourself gives us strength to continue self-sacrificing.


Mar 21, 202401:42
MS Diary | Wednesday, 3/20/24 | Wheelchair dilemma 

MS Diary | Wednesday, 3/20/24 | Wheelchair dilemma 

MS Diary | Wednesday, 3/20/24 | Wheelchair dilemma 

I'm using two power wheelchairs. The Zinger Power Wheelchair is best for my symptoms but doesn't roll well. The Dalton Power Wheelchair runs the smoothest.

The dilemma is the activity of switching. Is it worth it? Switching chairs increases spasms. It slows me down with restroom trips; increasing likelihood of accidents.



Mar 20, 202401:49
MS Diary | Tuesday, 3/19/24 | How the MS Gym helps

MS Diary | Tuesday, 3/19/24 | How the MS Gym helps

MS Diary | Tuesday, 3/19/24 | How the MS Gym helps

It was started for people with Multiple Sclerosis. It's helping me manage my left leg nerve pain. I can't do most of the exercises because I'm severely disabled. What I CAN do is incorporate the use of balls, rollers and more. Those tools seem to be effective.



Mar 19, 202401:57
MS Diary | Monday, 3/18/24 | The left leg hip & nerve pain is back

MS Diary | Monday, 3/18/24 | The left leg hip & nerve pain is back

MS Diary | Monday, 3/18/24 | The left leg hip & nerve pain is back

OMG. It is. It's back with a vengeance. Wow. I have a plan to throw activity at it. That's really my resolution. I have a MS Gym subscription my activity will be guided.

I do have good news. The neck and shoulders are dramatically improved. Huuuuge difference.



Mar 18, 202402:00
MS Diary | Friday, 3/15/24 | My FIRST Wheelchair Routine 

MS Diary | Friday, 3/15/24 | My FIRST Wheelchair Routine 

MS Diary | Friday, 3/15/24 | My FIRST Wheelchair Routine 

I don't know what took me so long to try this buuuu… *thinking face* Wait, yes I do. I wasn't in as much pain. Now that I am, I'm experimenting with all the things I skipped before. 

The Wheelchair Routine will be simple yet it's gonna be work. The Dalton Power Wheelchair will be the everyday, household, wheelchair. It has its drawbacks but there never was posture pain like this. 

I'll use the Zinger Power Wheelchair (BEST one I've ever used!) as my office desk chair. The Zinger Power Wheelchair is severely jacked up. The wheel stems are bent which makes going and turning a regular no. I can fit at my desk and sit on multiple booty cushions. 

Finally, the Rubicon World's Lightest Electric Wheelchair is just for traveling. That mug has caused all these new issues but I refuse to stuck at home. No way. It has its purpose. *fist bump* 

This ain't no life for the weak. You and I are constantly remixing and adapting to whatever is going on around us and IN us. That's why I share my gratitude journal everyday. Maybe what I'm doing help what you're doing.



Mar 15, 202402:07
MS Diary | Thursday, 3/14/24 | Time for emergency moves

MS Diary | Thursday, 3/14/24 | Time for emergency moves

MS Diary | Thursday, 3/14/24 | Time for emergency moves

Yes, I feel better in general. Yes, I'm sleeping a little longer. Yes, I'm not tracking sleep or nerve pain.

However, these are now emergency measures I'm taking. The pain is rocking my way of life. I'm dropping stuff outta muscle weakness. The neck/collar/shoulder pain is getting more intense and its affecting both sides plus my chest and swallowing.

I'm scheduled for medical appointments but immediately, I'm switching chairs as soon as the wife or kids wake up.

This ain't no life for the weak. 



Mar 14, 202401:51
MS Diary | Wednesday, 3/13/24 | 7 hours of sleep

MS Diary | Wednesday, 3/13/24 | 7 hours of sleep

MS Diary | Wednesday, 3/13/24 | 7 hours of sleep

O. M. G. I slept 4hr, restroom break, 3hrs. I feel like I have superpowers! *fingers crossed* I'm scared to write more because I believe in jinxes. 

Instead, 😉, let me inform y'all about mindset OVER bullshit. I'll be on IG LIVE this Thursday, tomorrow, 3/14/24, 6pm. I invite you to rock with me, let's do Gratitude stories together. 

I'm only here to inspire, educate and entertain Wheelchair Users and Tribespeople!



Mar 14, 202401:52
MS Diary | Tuesday, 3/12/24 | I feel GREAT

MS Diary | Tuesday, 3/12/24 | I feel GREAT

MS Diary | Tuesday, 3/12/24 | I feel GREAT

Really, I do. *rolls shoulders* Let's do this.



Mar 12, 202401:60
MS Diary | Wednesday, 3/6/24 | I slept 3.5hrs between trips

MS Diary | Wednesday, 3/6/24 | I slept 3.5hrs between trips

MS Diary | Wednesday, 3/6/24 | I slept 3.5hrs between trips

Tribespeople!! I sit before you with GOOD news. I slept 3.5hrs between restroom trips. That's only the 2nd time this year. I believe it is repeatable too. 

Oxybutynin, take a bow. You da real MVP (Most Valuable Pill).

🤜🏾🤛🏾🥂



Mar 09, 202401:36
MS Diary | Friday, 3/8/24 | I give up on Oxybutynin 

MS Diary | Friday, 3/8/24 | I give up on Oxybutynin 

MS Diary | Friday, 3/8/24 | I give up on Oxybutynin 

I'm terrified writing this because I fear manifesting the finality. Oxybutynin ain't helping me sleep. In two weeks, I had two 3.5hr naps. That's it. Three. 

Meanwhile, I'm so highly cognizant of how little sleep I'm getting that it feels like losing. All day, I'm aware of my losses with sleep. All day, I'm thinking restroom trips, counting, timing, tracking, reporting, talking. It's overwhelming. I'm done. I quit. I'm on to other symptoms. 



Mar 08, 202401:41
MS Diary | Thursday, 3/7/24 | The confusing part of MS

MS Diary | Thursday, 3/7/24 | The confusing part of MS

MS Diary | Thursday, 3/7/24 | The confusing part of MS

I haven't done my yoga routine in days. The good thing is I haven't had the left hip pain in days either. Are the two truly correlated? That's the CONFUSING part.

I didn't sleep longer than an hour and a half but I took the double dose of Oxybutynin. Maybe a double dose isn't the problem. If not, I'm out of ideas and gotta schedule more medical appointments. That's the CONFUSING thing about all this.

So many times, it's heartbreaking to realize nothing you do consistently affects your MS symptoms. The good stuff doesn't last. The bad shit returns, with an attitude of invincibility. 

You don't wanna give up. You don't wanna waste time. It's freaking CONFUSING.



Mar 07, 202402:05
MS Diary | Tuesday, 3/5/24 | Oxybutynin update

MS Diary | Tuesday, 3/5/24 | Oxybutynin update

MS Diary | Tuesday, 3/5/24 | Oxybutynin update

This is week 2, day 7. So far, 30mg Oxybutynin results in less restroom trips while I'm awake. At night? It doesn't. Hell, I do get more blank trips and I'm hoping it will even out.



Mar 05, 202401:53
MS Diary | Monday, 3/4/24 | Find the GOOD in life

MS Diary | Monday, 3/4/24 | Find the GOOD in life

MS Diary | Monday, 3/4/24 | Find the GOOD in life

It's been an awful weekend. I mean it. Awful. I'm rocking the good part. I haven't used the bathroom in six hours. That's huge when I normally go every 2hrs.



Mar 04, 202401:41
MS Diary | Friday, 3/1/24 Dilemma of Disability

MS Diary | Friday, 3/1/24 Dilemma of Disability

Nope, I'm not talking about DMTs or treating yourself with diet and exercise. I'm talking about working vs. not working. 

That's the dilemma presented to me yesterday. 

One, don't work, treat myself with diet, exercise, wellness. (I mean, not working means no money for insurance.)

Two, put myself through hellacious pain, nightmarish symptoms at a breakneck pace for whatever pennies I'm tossed.

This ain't no life for the weak. 



Mar 01, 202401:57
Kendrick Reviews: Mea Culpa (Netflix, 2024)

Kendrick Reviews: Mea Culpa (Netflix, 2024)

Kendrick Reviews: Mea Culpa (Netflix, 2024)

It was worth the watch. I'm a huge fan of Tyler Perry so none of the plot twists shocked me. I anticipated some backstabbing. I was thirsty for the strong, Black woman. 

What impressed me was the acting and actors. Every role was played to the T. Kelly Rowland shined. This film was about the excellence of execution. Great work.



Feb 29, 202401:09
MS Diary | Thursday, 2/29/24 | 2nd results of 30mg Oxybutynin 

MS Diary | Thursday, 2/29/24 | 2nd results of 30mg Oxybutynin 

MS Diary | Thursday, 2/29/24 | 2nd results of 30mg Oxybutynin 

I hope I'm not trippin. On day 2 (30mg Oxybutynin is the maximum dosage), I went to the bathroom MORE. I told my wife but she stayed quiet. 

During the daylight hours, I went pretty consistently, every 2hrs. There was no break, no dry visits, every two hours. That's not normal. Usually I'm making restroom trips liiiiiike, 1 every 3 or 4. I was tired AF by mid-day. My arms ached from all the transitions. 

Then, here comes night. I stayed at the 1trip/2hrs pace. There was one dry run and I returned within an hour. That's actually pretty normal. 

I hoped Oxybutynin would slow down my restroom trips at night. Instead, day 2, it's making my day trips increase to match the night pace. I'm not quitting! Just reporting. 



Feb 29, 202401:51
MS Diary | Wednesday, 2/28/24 | 1st results of 30mg Oxybutynin 

MS Diary | Wednesday, 2/28/24 | 1st results of 30mg Oxybutynin 

MS Diary | Wednesday, 2/28/24 | 1st results of 30mg Oxybutynin 

I'm disappointed. I wanted hours of sleep after my first 30mg dose of Oxybutynin. It didn't happen. I'm not giving up! No way. It's just the first quarter of a new game. *rolls shoulders* Matter of fact, let me go take it now.



Feb 29, 202401:50
MS Diary | Tuesday, 2/27/24 | GOOD news!

MS Diary | Tuesday, 2/27/24 | GOOD news!

MS Diary | Tuesday, 2/27/24 | GOOD news!

Nevermind the how. Today, I'm popping the legal limit of 30mg Oxybutynin. The reason is simple. Doubling up my intake should lessen my daily restroom trips.🤞🏾🤞🏾



Feb 27, 202401:38
MS Diary | Monday, 2/26/24 | Weekend woes

MS Diary | Monday, 2/26/24 | Weekend woes

MS Diary | Monday, 2/26/24 | Weekend woes

I came into the weekend on a warm streak. I started strong with yoga, exercise, meditation to manage nerve pain in left leg. It worked too.

This week will be much the same. I didn't continue the wellness routines I started. Now, I'm back to square one. Hope the process works again.



Feb 26, 202401:60
MS Diary | Friday, 2/23/24 | I manifested this…

MS Diary | Friday, 2/23/24 | I manifested this…

MS Diary | Friday, 2/23/24 | I manifested this…

I've been really focused on the left leg pain. SO focused, I manifested a way to slow the pain. Suddenly, the Rubicon World's Lightest Electric stopped charging. That means I can't use it. Now, I'm back to Optimus Prime. Now, a familiar pain. *sigh*

This ain’t no life for the weak.



Feb 23, 202401:42
MS Diary | Thursday, 2/22/24 | What I Learned…

MS Diary | Thursday, 2/22/24 | What I Learned…

MS Diary | Thursday, 2/22/24 | What I Learned…

Aight, the left leg is not solved BUT I gotta hot lead. Another Wheelchair User commented she had similar pains. The problem ended up being the WHEELCHAIR! 

Apparently, if you're wheelchair-bound, the wheelchair must be measured and set by your specifications. If not, your seating position affects your body. 

My wife confirmed the story with hospital tales. I thought this earlier but kept my fingers crossed. 

What will I do? More yoga. I only did one AM yoga session yesterday. That's why I believe the leg pain was active last night. Yoga is outside the wheelchair, less time in whatever bad seating angle. Also, probably gonna switch back to the Dalton power wheelchair for daily use.



Feb 22, 202401:55
MS Diary | Wednesday, 2/21/24 | Left leg pain day 3

MS Diary | Wednesday, 2/21/24 | Left leg pain day 3

MS Diary | Wednesday, 2/21/24 | Left leg pain day 3

I did an AM and PM yoga session for relief. Straight legs are difficult to perform but it definitely lowers the new pain. I'm taking Tizanidine too. It gives no pain relief but it does help me sleep. 

Sleep is paramount to my daily efficiency. I gotta sleep so I can think clearly when making wellness decisions. 



Feb 21, 202402:22
MS Diary | Tuesday, 2/20/24 | Treating the left leg pain

MS Diary | Tuesday, 2/20/24 | Treating the left leg pain

MS Diary | Tuesday, 2/20/24 | Treating the left leg pain

I'm taking it serious. Yesterday, I threw 1200mg of Ibuprofen. Didn't work Baclofen. No help. Tizanidine. Nope. 

I did 3 rounds of yoga, morning, noon, night. I think it helped. The pain hit in shorter episodes. When it started, if I did yoga, it would subside. It kicks back after I stop.

*grits teeth* Today, I'm rocking Tizanidine and finished yoga. The Tizanidine has me falling asleep in my wheelchair and while holding poses. 

This is going to be a challenge. 



Feb 20, 202401:38
MS Diary | Monday, 2/19/24 | Now, it's serious 

MS Diary | Monday, 2/19/24 | Now, it's serious 

MS Diary | Monday, 2/19/24 | Now, it's serious 

I've admitted to this pain before. Over the last few months, I've thought it was nerve pain, new spasms, muscle weakness, sciatica. At some point, I blamed my sleeping position. 

It's a combination of everything. This finally hit priority status because it's 3 straight days. My plan? No doctor yet. I think if I do more yoga and exercise, I can lessen the intensity. As of this post, I've done 30min. I'll do another 30 before bed.



Feb 19, 202402:11
MS Diary | Friday, 2/16/24 | We've survived everything thrown at us!

MS Diary | Friday, 2/16/24 | We've survived everything thrown at us!

MS Diary | Friday, 2/16/24 | We've survived everything thrown at us!

Tribespeople. Wheelchair Users. Don't EVER forget that we have survived. We are still here. Despite all the bullshit, we're here.

You know that means something. That means we're CHAMPIONS! We've always found a way to keep going. We've always found a way to adapt. We've found a way even if we didn't want a way.

THAT means something. 



Feb 16, 202401:49
MS Diary | Thursday, 2/15/24 | Check out ginaovercomes.com! 

MS Diary | Thursday, 2/15/24 | Check out ginaovercomes.com! 

MS Diary | Thursday, 2/15/24 | Check out ginaovercomes.com! 

My writings are medicine for my mental health. The blog educates, entertains and inspires.

That's why I'm sharing ginaovercomes.com. Her stories shine light unto the darkness of disabilities. Wow. Great stuff.



Feb 15, 202401:41
MS Diary | Wednesday, 2/14/24 | About that nerve pain…

MS Diary | Wednesday, 2/14/24 | About that nerve pain…

MS Diary | Wednesday, 2/14/24 | About that nerve pain…

Nerve pain is 2nd only to back pain but I'm aware it can be worse. I can meditate to manage nerve pain. It takes serious focus but I can do it.

As soon as I do anything else, it stomps back. Yikes. I can't tap out on Valentines so pills on deck.



Feb 14, 202401:46
MS Diary | Monday, 2/12/24 | How the Super Bowl motivated me

MS Diary | Monday, 2/12/24 | How the Super Bowl motivated me

MS Diary | Monday, 2/12/24 | How the Super Bowl motivated me

The Chiefs stopped all the high-powered, fancy smancy, offensive stuff. Instead, they focused on key players and great defense. It's working. 

Our defense against chronic illnesses, disabilities and limitations is our wellness. It's our daily regimen, yoga, exercise, water, diet. These activities slow the effects of whatever disables us. 

Our offense is mindset. We can reset tough days by resetting stressors. We score everytime we shake dark thoughts to smile and shine. Nothing else is needed for the wIn except to smile and shine.



Feb 12, 202401:41
MS Diary | Friday, 2/9/24 | New NP for MS

MS Diary | Friday, 2/9/24 | New NP for MS

MS Diary | Friday, 2/9/24 | New NP for MS

*makes muscle* Medicaid appointments are what you make em. I tried to find a plan that my previous PCP accepted but nothing was in my budget. So, here comes the next medical team, starting with a NP to update ADA paperwork. Hopefully, he'll have ideas on sleeping, nerve pain and my feet. 



Feb 09, 202401:41
MS Diary | Thursday, 2/8/24 | I didn't meet my water goal

MS Diary | Thursday, 2/8/24 | I didn't meet my water goal

MS Diary | Thursday, 2/8/24 | I didn't meet my water goal

I'm an honest guy. I didn't meet my water goal. I doubt I increased water intake at all. As a result, I continued to have blank restroom trips. 





Feb 08, 202401:39
MS Diary | Wednesday, 2/7/24 | Why I'm increasing my water intake

MS Diary | Wednesday, 2/7/24 | Why I'm increasing my water intake

MS Diary | Wednesday, 2/7/24 | Why I'm increasing my water intake

The blank restroom trips are becoming a regular thing. I can't have that. To decrease blank restroom trips, I'm going to drink water. The goal is 100oz. That should help with energy and settle my face.



Feb 07, 202402:01
MS Diary | Tuesday, 2/6/24 | Where is mindset OVER bullshit podcast?

MS Diary | Tuesday, 2/6/24 | Where is mindset OVER bullshit podcast?

MS Diary | Tuesday, 2/6/24 | Where is mindset OVER bullshit podcast?

I knoooow. I'm working my business plan steps y'all. I am! I appreciate the questions about the mindset OVER bullshit podcast. I have NOT quit it. I'm making significant changes, updating logos, prioritizing the blog.

The podcast is intended to be an Instrument of self-improvement. I'm modeling gratitude journaling, showcasing tools of mindset OVER bullshit and leading my Tribespeople towards the G.O.D. Squad. 

It will return. It will start as a weekend podcast, Saturday and Sunday releases. Until then…

◇ I publish the MS Diary on weekdays on the podcast. 

◇ I publish Motivational & Inspirational videos on the YouTube channel. 

◇ I publish a new Gratitude Journal blog everyday.



Feb 06, 202402:03
MS Diary | Monday, 2/5/24 | Power vs. Electric wheelchairs

MS Diary | Monday, 2/5/24 | Power vs. Electric wheelchairs

MS Diary | Monday, 2/5/24 | Power vs. Electric wheelchairs

I've had a great weekend. Daughter's birthday went well. Parents sent me another wheelchair. Slept 3hrs in single session. I even learned something valuable. 

The difference between power and electric wheelchairs. It definitely impacts your lifestyle and makes sense of capabilities. The biggest difference?

Electric wheelchairs struggle with carpet. Don't let the pictures and speed claims fool you!



Feb 05, 202402:21
The HAPPIEST people...

The HAPPIEST people...

I didn't believe stuff like this until I became severely disabled. I'm waaaay happier in the head now, father that listens, husband that spoils. It's different on this side. *bows* 

#mindset #perspective #mentalhealth #keepgoing #dontstopbelieving #youmatter #disability #disabled #limitations #chronicillness #chronicpain #autoimmunedisease #multiplesclerosis #wheelchair #wheelchairlife


Feb 04, 202400:51
MS Diary | Friday, 2/2/24 | Tips on finding WFH jobs for the disabled community 

MS Diary | Friday, 2/2/24 | Tips on finding WFH jobs for the disabled community 

MS Diary | Friday, 2/2/24 | Tips on finding WFH jobs for the disabled community 

head nod S/O to my Birthday Girl.

I work from home. I get terminated over absences and slow work but I find new employment within days. If I know the termination is coming, I'll have a gig before being fired. 

These are examples of work-from-home jobs on ZipRecruiter, Indeed, LinkedIn:

Remote Pharmacy Help Desk.

Patient Care Advocate. 

Eligibility Representative. 

Resolution Specialist. 

Agent (Health/Life/Auto/Home)



Feb 02, 202401:54
MS Diary | Thursday, 2/1/24 | Flare-up, new symptom or old stuff getting worse

MS Diary | Thursday, 2/1/24 | Flare-up, new symptom or old stuff getting worse

MS Diary | Thursday, 2/1/24 | Flare-up, new symptom or old stuff getting worse

Nerve pain y'all. My nerve pain is daily but it's really concentrated in my left leg.

Lately, it's gotten worse. The level increased from 1 to 5. The time increased from minutes to a full hour. When I spasm, my knee and forehead jerk together. Also, I can't straighten my left at all. 

What did I do? 1200mg of over-the-counter Ibuprofen and a short nap. When I woke up, everything was back to normal.



Feb 02, 202401:40
The problem is your perspective

The problem is your perspective

The problem is simple but it AIN'T easy. You must improve your perspective.

Yes. The disabilities and limitations are fucked up. The chronic illness is fucked up. The autoimmune disease is fucked up. Now, what do you when you can't physically GET better?

You BE better. Your mindset, your imagination, your Inner G (pronounced “energy”) can BE better.



Jan 31, 202401:04
MS Diary | Wednesday, 1/31/24 | Ever put on the wrong clothes?

MS Diary | Wednesday, 1/31/24 | Ever put on the wrong clothes?

MS Diary | Wednesday, 1/31/24 | Ever put on the wrong clothes?

On this day, I accidentally put on my daughter's T-shirt, my wife's joggers. I know. I know. My wife had BIG jokes but she didn't take pictures. 

I'm shamed but I have a good explanation. I'm legally blind so I get confused. I lost weight years ago when I stopped eating meat, lost over 70lbs. The mistake makes sense.

It also proves I'm pretty. If I can wear their clothes, I must be pretty; I must be fine. I'm gonna flaunt this truth. It's my inspiration today!

Jan 31, 202401:43
MS Diary | Tuesday, 1/30/24 | Being a blogger IS my medicine 

MS Diary | Tuesday, 1/30/24 | Being a blogger IS my medicine 

MS Diary | Tuesday, 1/30/24 | Being a blogger IS my medicine 

I never called myself a blogger before. I had a blog about my life but I wasn't a blogger. Fast forward a few years and I've grown into the position. 

Being a blogger allows me to put thoughts into words. The practice gifts me with a perspective of my life as a story. It's an awesome gift that trickles into my self-worth, permeates my lifestyle and shapes my potential. 

Writing these stories develops my passion for story-telling. I am a blogger.



Jan 30, 202401:45
MS Diary | Monday, 1/29/24 | Why I don't take MS drugs

MS Diary | Monday, 1/29/24 | Why I don't take MS drugs

MS Diary | Monday, 1/29/24 | Why I don't take MS drugs

I'll be clear. MS drugs haven't worked for me. Not the relaxers, pain killers, DMDs, fusions, injections. I haven't tried surgeries because I lack faith in meds. Insurance hasn't covered my true needs so why pay for that? 

Oh yeah, wife and kids need it.



Jan 29, 202401:60
MS Diary | Friday, 1/26/24 | Two superpowers we ALL have

MS Diary | Friday, 1/26/24 | Two superpowers we ALL have

MS Diary | Friday, 1/26/24 | Two superpowers we ALL have

I said it. Tribespeople, Wheelchair Users, everyone have two superpowers. 

First, changing your mind. Do that as needed. I'm pushing aggressive self-care so I've changed my mind to protect myself. 

Second, tell people “No”. I told my supervisor “no” on Tuesday to upkeep my accommodations, protect myself. 

Y'all too. Aggressive self-care. Change your mind, tell folks “no”, protect yourself. You are the priority. 



Jan 26, 202401:48
MS Diary | Thursday, 1/25/24 | How I manage poor sleep

MS Diary | Thursday, 1/25/24 | How I manage poor sleep

MS Diary | Thursday, 1/25/24 | How I manage poor sleep

A few weeks ago, i announced that I'd get up earlier to better use my energies. All the restroom trips were wrecking my mojo, draining my usable hours.

That helped some but not enough. Sure, i was more productive by day's end but i was even more exhausted. 

Now, I'm getting up earlier and taking naps. The goal is 6hrs between everything. I've felt good all week, higher activity levels. 



Jan 25, 202401:45
MS Diary | Wednesday, 1/24/24 | Be careful doing this!

MS Diary | Wednesday, 1/24/24 | Be careful doing this!

MS Diary | Wednesday, 1/24/24 | Be careful doing this!


The day went quite well. I'm still on my aggressive gratitude, making it a great day.

In that regard, I blazed a high grade cannabis before a restroom trip. The result was me on that throne, over 1 1/2hrs and never peeing or having a bowel movement. Hour after that, I'm back in there. 45min later, it's time to get up. WTF.

The gratitude, the perspective I'm rocking is that I got some planning done. I also prepped this journal entry. Finally, I had a good time laughing and responding to FB comments. FB is showing as a true possible social media interest. I can use all this information today. 



Jan 24, 202402:04
MS Diary | Tuesday, 1/23/24 | Aggressive self-care 

MS Diary | Tuesday, 1/23/24 | Aggressive self-care 

MS Diary | Tuesday, 1/23/24 | Aggressive self-care 

I'm still crunk from all the positive talk yesterday. Even during my restroom trips, I spoke out loud to myself. All day, I congratulated myself for handling an infuriating number of calls. It was good stuff.

Let's keep that going today, ride the wave. *pops collar* Hell yeah I'm smashing today. AND, it's Ti-Day (Tuesday + Friday). I'm ready for whatever. 



Jan 23, 202401:48
MS Diary | Monday, 1/22/24 | I'm ready to do BIG things

MS Diary | Monday, 1/22/24 | I'm ready to do BIG things

MS Diary | Monday, 1/22/24 | I'm ready to do BIG things

I'm deeeeeeep into talking good to yourself  being your own theme music. Talking out loud drowns negative thoughts and I use that tool. I use it a LOT. Well, I used to use it a lot.

I'm back on my aggressive gratitude game this week. I'm talking out, voicing my wins, dominating my imagination. I'm going to MAKE this a tremendous week by speaking it.



Jan 22, 202401:42
MS Diary | Friday, 1/19/24 | How sleep is affecting me

MS Diary | Friday, 1/19/24 | How sleep is affecting me

MS Diary | Friday, 1/19/24 | How sleep is affecting me

Yoo. *yawn* I am sleepy AF. RT. I've been using these restroom trips to be productive. I'm editing videos, writing posts, responding to comments, plotting business practices, writing gratitude stories, joining FB groups, I've been busy buuuuuuut……

I'm sleepy AF. My patience is getting short, emotions exploding like a toilet (King's News today! 🫣), this is a struggle. It's time I see a specialist. 



Jan 19, 202401:43