Missionary Podcast

In our first ever Ward Conference, the gals gather to answer some of your burning questions about religion, sex, and everything in between. Do you think it's ok to have sex with a dog in the room? Will you teach your kids about heaven, or are you more of a "dirt guy"? And most importantly, are the men ready for a fully vaccinated, post-Saturn return lady to be unleashed in these streets!? There's only one way to find out...

You’ve taken space from the f^ck boys, you found the dry humping partner of your dreams, and you’re ready to get sealed! In this ep the girls chat all things marriage and weddings, from civil ceremonies to temple garments to destination extravaganzas. And even though Sadie is the one with extensive wedding planning experience, Maddie’s shockingly elaborate plans for her “Big Day” may end up on your vision board!

For our first ever interview episode, the gals are chatting with an anonymous guest about his experience growing up LGBTQ and LDS. This conversation runs the gamut from school dances to musical theatre and, of course, medical drawings of male anatomy. We hope you enjoy hearing this open and honest conversation as much as we enjoyed having it!

Join the Missionaries on a stroll down the Family Planning Aisle! You may be the type of person who takes "The Pill" at the same time every single day down to the second, or maybe Plan B is your Plan A... Regardless, if you're sick of the burden of contraception always falling on the shoulders of the person with a uterus, Sadie and Maddie have your back. Plus, the new game that's sweeping the nation: Truth or Milk?!

Have you ever chugged a Big Gulp of Diet Coke in a fit of post-dessert party mania?! Are you a Milk Pong Master? Maybe you're just super into mushrooms? As Sadie teaches Maddie about the MANY forbidden beverages of her LDS youth, Maddie regales us with tales of afterparty shenanigans. *Disclaimer: despite strong evidence to the contrary, we assure you this episode was recorded when both missionaries were sober.*

Did you wear t-shirts under your spaghetti strap Gap dresses? Or do you think we should be naked at all times? Get ready for a deep-dive into Modesty: a "cornerstone" of Mormon culture. The missionaries talk Garments, Bermuda shorts, and two-piece bathing suits, and how modesty functions in secular society (shocking twist- it's an agent of the patriarchy!). 

Polygamy, Polyamory, Polygyny, Polyandry...things are getting crowded this week as the girls talk group sex, plural marriages, and the VIBRANT Salt Lake City Swingers Scene.  Come for the spin the bottle stories, stay for the Joseph Smith f*ck boy antics. 

Sadie and Maddie are BACK and ready to leave all things 2020 firmly in the past, including outdated notions about virginity. Instead of getting hung up on losing your virginity, your two favorite missionaries are here to encourage you to embrace the concept of making your sexual debut. If you're ready to leave the land of heavy petting behind you, make a quick stop at the BYU Health Clinic to stock up on the Mormon penetration starter pack: lube, vaginal dilators, and helpful info about pre-heating your "oven."

After a brief hiatus (did you miss us?!) Maddie and Sadie are back to dish on the love languages, and the spicier alternative: the turn on trigger. Plus astrology, crystals, and the ultimate Mormon erogenous zone. Also, you may want to take notes on this one...because Sadie drops the Secret to Relationships...and to LIFE?! Seriously, you don't want to miss this.