Skip to main content
My Gay Church Days

My Gay Church Days

By George Azar

SEASON 3 RELEASE: August 28, 2023 Stories and thoughts of a closeted ex-evangelical pastor who eventually left the faith to pursue his true identity. This podcast was created for you, the listener. Dive into stories from my own experience as a closeted Evangelical pastor, as well as my thoughts on current issues, politics & theology. I also want to hear you! Be sure to drop us a voicemail with your questions and stories! Leave a voicemail here: https://www.speakpipe.com/mygaychurchdays Deconstruction, Exevangelical, LGBTQ community.
Listen on Spotify
Available on
Apple Podcasts Logo
Spotify Logo
Currently playing episode

SPECIAL GUEST: Barrett Carroll - PART 2

My Gay Church DaysMay 04, 2022

00:00
43:29
Update with My Gay Church Days and Version 2

Update with My Gay Church Days and Version 2

I know. I've been MIA. Between my day job and writing Version 2 of the book, I've had little interest or motivation for the other things I love to do. 

This episode gives you a rundown of what's been happening with Version 2 of the book and an inside scoop on the trajectory of releasing it!

Aug 24, 202215:45
SPECIAL GUEST - Archie Messersmith-Bunting
Aug 17, 202250:17
Season 2 Premiere Guest: TOT - Part 2
Aug 10, 202235:40
Season 2 Premiere Guest: TOT - Part 1
Aug 03, 202239:34
My Struggle with Erectile Dysfunction

My Struggle with Erectile Dysfunction

One of the most common yet unspoken struggles for men is erectile dysfunction. Especially for those in the gay community who have been exposed to control systems, shame and guilt are controlling factors that impact our ability to perform in the bedroom. This episode details my journey with my struggle with ED and my plan to move forward from seeking healing.
If you struggle with ED, you are not alone.
May 11, 202219:39
SPECIAL GUEST: Barrett Carroll - PART 2

SPECIAL GUEST: Barrett Carroll - PART 2

PART 2 of my interview with Barrett!
Barrett is one of a kind! Being raised in a controlled and abusive environment, Barrett found refuge in the entertainment industry. As a child actor, Barrett was introduced to perspectives that were far-removed from the worldview instilled in him through his experience of homeschooling and isolation. Although acting brought it's own set of challenges, Barrett was introduced to a wide variety of different experiences, forming his way to eventually leaving his controlled environment to pursue a life devoted to helping others heal from their traumas.
From Barrett's website: I came to a position where I knew something had to change. It was never about becoming rich or famous for me. It was about creating things that mattered. I wanted to put purpose into pain and create art that did the same. For many years I lived a life filled with secrets and hardships. I had gone through seasons of great success and great failures. As soon as I seemed to be heading in the right direction, I would quickly get pulled away by a different hardship or.... opportunity as I now choose to look at it. I have an unusual story as many of you know. I grew up in a type of small evangelical based cult within a very abusive home. I never received a proper education until I attended college. I struggled with severe depression, Complex PTSD, anorexia and anxiety. During my childhood I was not aware of the depth of the trauma that I was experiencing. I grew up in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. I had some extended family that worked in entertainment and recognized my abilities at a young age. This led to me eventually working in commercials, Indie films and regional theatre for several years before attending college. I attended Baldwin-Wallace University and The University of Oklahoma where I received my Bachelors of Music in Musical Theatre. I worked at Disney World briefly after graduation but was shaken to my core during that time by the death of 8 of my friends within a year and a half as well as continued family conflict back in Oklahoma. During my time in Florida, I almost lost my own life due to an unexpected sickness and physical complications. After battling, health issues and depression alone, I found myself at the start of a spiritual awakening.
---
An accomplished author, actor, and friend, Barrett has so much to offer the world.
Be sure to check out Part 2, releasing on Wednesday, May 4th.
Also, you can connect with Barrett's work here:
Website
Book: The Acorn's Journey
Instagram
May 04, 202243:29
SPECIAL GUEST: Barrett Carroll - PART 1

SPECIAL GUEST: Barrett Carroll - PART 1

Barrett is one of a kind! Being raised in a controlled and abusive environment, Barrett found refuge in the entertainment industry. As a child actor, Barrett was introduced to perspectives that were far-removed from the worldview instilled in him through his experience of homeschooling and isolation. Although acting brought it's own set of challenges, Barrett was introduced to a wide variety of different experiences, forming his way to eventually leaving his controlled environment to pursue a life devoted to helping others heal from their traumas.

From Barrett's website: I came to a position where I knew something had to change. It was never about becoming rich or famous for me. It was about creating things that mattered. I wanted to put purpose into pain and create art that did the same. For many years I lived a life filled with secrets and hardships. I had gone through seasons of great success and great failures. As soon as I seemed to be heading in the right direction, I would quickly get pulled away by a different hardship or.... opportunity as I now choose to look at it. I have an unusual story as many of you know. I grew up in a type of small evangelical based cult within a very abusive home. I never received a proper education until I attended college. I struggled with severe depression, Complex PTSD, anorexia and anxiety. During my childhood I was not aware of the depth of the trauma that I was experiencing. I grew up in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. I had some extended family that worked in entertainment and recognized my abilities at a young age. This led to me eventually working in commercials, Indie films and regional theatre for several years before attending college. I attended Baldwin-Wallace University and The University of Oklahoma where I received my Bachelors of Music in Musical Theatre. I worked at Disney World briefly after graduation but was shaken to my core during that time by the death of 8 of my friends within a year and a half as well as continued family conflict back in Oklahoma. During my time in Florida, I almost lost my own life due to an unexpected sickness and physical complications. After battling, health issues and depression alone, I found myself at the start of a spiritual awakening.
---
An accomplished author, actor, and friend, Barrett has so much to offer the world.
Be sure to check out Part 2, releasing on Wednesday, May 4th.
Also, you can connect with Barrett's work here:

Website
Book: The Acorn's Journey
Instagram
Apr 29, 202240:47
Spirit(s)-Filled Episode with Alana Sweetwater

Spirit(s)-Filled Episode with Alana Sweetwater

We decided to record our conversation during a spirits-filled dinner with my dearest friend Alana Sweetwater. There are very few people in my life that can go to the depths of conversation like my dear friend Alana. After throwing back a few glasses of wine, we thought it would be imperative to record our conversation. Here is a clip of what was discussed that fantastic night!
Apr 20, 202248:05
SPECIAL GUEST - Jesse Cale - PART 2

SPECIAL GUEST - Jesse Cale - PART 2

Part 2 of my interview with Jesse Cale!
Apr 13, 202243:58
SPECIAL GUEST: Jesse Cale - PART 1

SPECIAL GUEST: Jesse Cale - PART 1

I was introduced to Jesse Cale on the Growing Up Christian Podcast and was infatuated by his story! Jesse is a wildly talented musician, artist, creator, and human! I could have talked to Jesse for hours, gleaning from his insight and experiences. I hope you enjoy this 2-part series!
Jesse Cale, also known as McSwagger, was born on May 19th, 1990, in Columbus, Ohio. He is a singer, musician, artist, composer, YouTuber, and former member of Maker Studios (now Disney Digital). He has worked with several other YouTube musicians, including Tessa Violet, Dodie Clark, and Emma Blackery.
Instagram: @jessecale
Twitter: @jessecale
Growing Up Christian
YouTube
Apr 06, 202234:22
Chapter Release - Chapter 5 - Thought: Homosexuality from MGCD
Mar 23, 202223:48
SPECIAL GUEST - Eric Feltes
Mar 16, 202201:17:25
SPECIAL GUEST - Matt Bays

SPECIAL GUEST - Matt Bays

Matt Bays is a writer, speaker, and life coach with a passion for calling people out of their hiding places. He joins the ranks of writers such as Anne Lamott, Donald Miller, and Glennon Doyle in offering readers honest, raw, funny, and insightful compassion for the journey of life. Matt has two amazing daughters and lives with his husband Chris, in Cincinnati. His first book, Finding God in the Ruins: How God Redeems Pain, was released in 2016. Matt's second book, Leather & Lace, details the heroism of finding his path and accepting his homosexuality.  Matt is an exemplary role model and pioneer in our community. Be sure to connect with him on Instagram @mattbayswriter
Mar 09, 202259:43
Antagonist vs. Inquisitors

Antagonist vs. Inquisitors

My thoughts on haters vs. people who genuinely want to understand another’s perspective.
Mar 02, 202221:35
SPECIAL GUEST: Lucas Wilson - PART 2

SPECIAL GUEST: Lucas Wilson - PART 2

Part 2 of my wonderful interview with Lucas Wilson!
Lucas holds an MA in English from McMaster University, as well as an MTS from Vanderbilt University. An Invisible History Project Fellow, Lucas is finishing his interdisciplinary PhD in Comparative Studies at Florida Atlantic University. His academic work has appeared in Canadian Jewish Studies, Flannery O’Connor Review,, and in edited collections published by The MLA, SUNY Press, and DIO Press. He also has a forthcoming article in The Journal of Jewish Identities and a forthcoming book chapter about Liberty University’s gay conversion therapy program (published through The University of Alabama Press). His public-facing work has appeared in The Advocate, Queerty, LGBTQ Nation, and Religion Dispatches, among other venues. He is currently a Sessional Lecturer at University of Toronto.
On top of his many accomplishments, Lucas is a wickedly hilarious, sharp, and brilliant advocate. I was beyond honored to have spent some time with him, and I am so happy to bring this podcast to you!
How to connect with Lucas:
Instagram: @lukeslamdunkwilson
Twitter: @wilson_fw
Articles:
The Advocate:
www.advocate.com/commentary/2021/5/13/gay-man-says-he-was-tormented-liberty-university-now-hes-suing
Queerty: www.queerty.com/jerry-falwell-jr-plays-gay-students-suffer-universitys-conversion-therapy-20200122
LGBTQ Nation: www.lgbtqnation.com/2020/04/liberty-universitys-board-trustees-remove-jerry-falwell-jr-schools-president/
Religion Dispatches: religiondispatches.org/liberty-universitys-in-house-conversion-therapist-retires-but-will-the-christian-school-cease-this-discredited-practice/
Academic Work:
Canadian Jewish Studies: cjs.journals.yorku.ca/index.php/cjs/article/view/40243
Flannery O’Connor Review: www.academia.edu/40368495/Of_Gossip_and_Gaze_The_Shift_from_Symbolic_to_Social_Exclusion_Seen_through_a_Post_Holocaust_Aesthetic_in_Flannery_O_Connor_s_The_Displaced_Person_
Feb 23, 202245:52
SPECIAL GUEST: Lucas Wilson - PART 1

SPECIAL GUEST: Lucas Wilson - PART 1

I can't tell you how excited I am to bring this podcast to you! Lucas Wilson is a trailblazer in our community!
Lucas holds an MA in English from McMaster University, as well as an MTS from Vanderbilt University. An Invisible History Project Fellow, Lucas is finishing his interdisciplinary PhD in Comparative Studies at Florida Atlantic University. His academic work has appeared in Canadian Jewish Studies, Flannery O’Connor Review,, and in edited collections published by The MLA, SUNY Press, and DIO Press. He also has a forthcoming article in The Journal of Jewish Identities and a forthcoming book chapter about Liberty University’s gay conversion therapy program (published through The University of Alabama Press). His public-facing work has appeared in The Advocate, Queerty, LGBTQ Nation, and Religion Dispatches, among other venues. He is currently a Sessional Lecturer at University of Toronto.
On top of his many accomplishments, Lucas is a wickedly hilarious, sharp, and brilliant advocate. I was beyond honored to have spent some time with him, and I am so happy to bring this podcast to you!

How to connect with Lucas:
Instagram: @lukeslamdunkwilson
Twitter: @wilson_fw

Articles:
The Advocate:
www.advocate.com/commentary/2021/5/13/gay-man-says-he-was-tormented-liberty-university-now-hes-suing
Queerty: www.queerty.com/jerry-falwell-jr-plays-gay-students-suffer-universitys-conversion-therapy-20200122
LGBTQ Nation: www.lgbtqnation.com/2020/04/liberty-universitys-board-trustees-remove-jerry-falwell-jr-schools-president/
Religion Dispatches: religiondispatches.org/liberty-universitys-in-house-conversion-therapist-retires-but-will-the-christian-school-cease-this-discredited-practice/

Academic Work:
Canadian Jewish Studies: cjs.journals.yorku.ca/index.php/cjs/article/view/40243
Flannery O’Connor Review: www.academia.edu/40368495/Of_Gossip_and_Gaze_The_Shift_from_Symbolic_to_Social_Exclusion_Seen_through_a_Post_Holocaust_Aesthetic_in_Flannery_O_Connor_s_The_Displaced_Person_
Feb 16, 202259:31
SPECIAL GUEST: Andrew Pledger - PART 2
Feb 02, 202248:07
SPECIAL GUEST: Andrew Pledger - PART 1
Jan 26, 202258:51
Astronomy is My Religion

Astronomy is My Religion

Many have been asking me what my current faith system is. Through my evolution after leaving Evangelical Christianity, I started off being wildly tormented by thoughts of eternal damnation. As I started to press harder into discovering my desires and identity, I evolved into the space of being comfortable with the unknown. Once deathly afraid, the concept of "not knowing" has been one of my closest and best friends. I take pleasure in learning more about the human condition and peace in knowing that we have power in the things that are not known.
Jan 13, 202223:02
SPECIAL GUEST: Scarlett - Purity Culture & Reconstructing

SPECIAL GUEST: Scarlett - Purity Culture & Reconstructing

Scarlett is known as my first love. We met in Bible study shortly after moving home after leaving Bayside Church. She wasn't a force to be reconned with. Paving her path as a strong, opinionated woman in the church, she was seen as an outcast. She didn't care - she was fiercely independent of any social norms brought upon most women in the church. Her tenacity was what drew me closer to her. As I had come to accept my homosexuality, our friendship has continued to evolve into a beautiful manifestation of love and devotion.
Scarlett inspires me to be a better person. Going through her reconstruction, this podcast highlights the harmful effects of the purity culture doctrine. Scarlett also gives us some vital points to ponder, highlighting the reconstruction path she is currently on.
Jan 05, 202257:12
SPECIAL GUEST - Andrew Barker - Going Beyond Christianity
Dec 29, 202146:13
Special Guest: Alana Sweetwater (Victoria) - Transcending Religion
Dec 29, 202145:46
Debate Team

Debate Team

While reviewing my book for the last time before publication, I came across some stories that brought new life lessons from their original writing. This episode covers one of the stories, back in high school when I was a boisterous young Republican Christian.
Dec 15, 202120:43
Going Too Far

Going Too Far

After posting a questionable meme, I pondered its ramifications and how it would come across to those in the faith I hold to high respect and esteem. This episode expands upon my thoughts from the blog post, "Going Too Far." I wanted to share my thoughts about Christianity and those I hold near and dear to me who still identify as Christians.
Dec 08, 202116:57
My Story

My Story

Hear my story and the heart behind My Gay Church Days!
Dec 01, 202126:54
Introduction

Introduction

The heart and vision for the podcast.
Nov 18, 202107:42