Second Cup with Lynn and Nancy
By Lynn and Nancy
Episode Forty Five: Exploring the Source of Strength, aka The Religious Episode
Continuing to explore the impact of Nancy's breast cancer journey, Lynn and Nancy focus this conversation on the role of faith. For these two, faith is rooted in the person of Jesus Christ.
This discussion touches on a few of the tensions in life that stretch and strengthen our faith, such as unanswered prayer. Can we trust God when our heart breaks?
Resources mentioned in this episode include:
Kate Bowler, book, "Have a Beautiful, Terrible Day"
Anne Lamott, book, "Help, Thanks, Wow"
Anne F. Downs, podcast, "Let's Read the Gospels"
Lectio 365, app, daily prayer
Episode Forty Four: When Cancer Interrupts Your Life
When cancer enters the picture, everything changes. The sense of urgency turns calendars upside down, both for the immediate and the long term. And then you ask, "What is long term? How long is this going to last?"
In this conversation, Lynn and Nancy talk about the grief associated with experiencing a life altering event, noting the scope of losses as one transitions to a new reality. They also discuss what that means for a friendship, balancing the routines of life with the tyranny of a medical condition.
Included here are suggestions for how to help others in a similar situation. The big takeaway on this topic? Trust your heart!
Episode Forty Three: The Weight of Waiting
Episode Forty Two: It's Breast Cancer
Episode Forty One: The News You Don't Want
We know what you're thinking. Quoting Napoleon seems like an odd choice for the Second Cup community, but goodness, he's got a point. When the news isn't welcome, time is of the essence.
Nancy first received the unwelcome news about breast cancer on November 17, 2023 during a routine mammogram. The official biopsy followed in late December, with the cancer confirmation and identification in the new year. Raise your hand if you can imagine the angst in the waiting.
To bring awareness to breast cancer prevention measures, we're offering a short series of Second Cup conversations about this unwelcome journey. Episode Forty One was captured in the fall when she was managing the looming presence of cancer and a list of unknowns, with a biopsy on the horizon.
The main takeaway from this episode? Get your mammogram. Prevention is a proven strategy to win this battle!
Episode Forty: Celebrating Friendship with the Second Cup Community!
Season Three comes to a wrap with the production of the BIG 4-0! What an amazing ride, right?!? Connecting back to the theme of expectations, Lynn and Nancy reflect on whether or not their personal expectations have been met during this creative journey.
And because this podcast was inspired by an enduring friendship, we've invited members of the Second Cup community to join the conversation and tell us about one of their best friends. Join us and meet Sue, Sarah, Elliott, Vicky, Steve, Kristen, John, and Meredith!
HOLIDAY BONUS #4 (Episode #39): Celebrating Easter
We love a good holiday at the Second Cup, and Easter is at the top of the list for a joy-filled celebration! Join our hosts for their 4th holiday bonus episode as they focus on all things Easter, including bunnies and baskets, egg hunts, and the reason for the faith-inspired gatherings, such as Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, and Easter Sunday. As followers of Jesus Christ, this season is foundational to their faith and informs their sense of hope.
Also, Lynn quizzes (and surprises) Nancy on the origin of several holiday traditions and both agree that hard-boiled eggs are not on the menu for Easter lunch!
Lynn's source: https://www.history.com/topics/holidays/easter-symbols
Episode Thirty Eight: Meet Morgan, Beth, and Mariah, Three Rockstar Entrepreneurs
Buckle up! This episode runs longer than the classic Second Cup conversations; however, early reviews reported that time flies because of the guest line-up: three female entrepreneurs from different decades, all equally impressive and inspiring.
Why the change in format? Shortly after the Second Cup podcast was created, the co-hosts were described as entrepreneurs. While this is an accurate description -- as they were taking the initiative to create something new -- this descriptor from the business sector came with expectations that were a bit uncomfortable. Sure, they had been talking about creative ventures for nearly 30 years, but what expertise did they have in starting an actual business?
Flash forward to the podcast's 38th episode, these two have learned a thing! And they will tell you that one of the best teachers is the sisterhood of other women entrepreneurs. In this episode, you'll meet three women - all south of 60 - with unique entrepreneurship stories. Like Lynn and Nancy, their journeys also include a reckoning with expectations as well as a collection of wit and whimsy from lessons learned along the way. Grab a pen for taking notes as this trio has some advice to share!
Starting the conversation is Morgan Murdock, RDN, Founder, Unbothered Foods; Beth Graybill, Conscious Consultant and Collaborative Storyteller; and Mariah Keener, Singer/Songwriter and Podcast Producer.
Episode Thirty Seven: The Wonderful World of Sports
As we continue to explore expectations, you knew this would happen -- the intersection of expectations and the wonderful world of sports.
Fans of all ages and leagues are fueled by expectations, and as Nancy points out, it's not all about the winners. While the number of spectators that enjoy watching athletes underachieve is not a valued stat, "disappointment theory" is a well regarded academic subject. Riding the waves, whether expectations are exceeded or dashed, is part of the experience.
Nancy and Lynn talk about this past year's Jacksonville Jaguars turnaround and the role of belief in raising expectations. Lynn also offers a unique perspective for a college football fan as the last time her beloved Illini (University of Illinois) won a post season bowl game was in 2011 (Fight Hunger Bowl). And just in time for NCAA's college basketball tournament, the co-hosts explore the Cinderella phenomenon and the joy of rooting for the underdog.
Episode Thirty Six: Consumer Expectations Met and Missed
Wearing their consumer hats in this episode, Lynn and Nancy discuss a variety of products and services that bring delight as well as those that might have missed the mark. In the days of social media influencers, these two tell stories of being on the influenced side of the equation and make it clear that no affiliated links are being generated for products mentioned!
From Rao's marinara sauce to cards from Trader Joe's to running socks from Smartwool, these reluctant shoppers have you covered! And for the record, it's okay to buy your coffee from TJ Maxx!
Episode Thirty Five: Give Yourself a Break!
In this episode, our hosts talk about our internal response when we fail our own expectations. Lynn and Nancy admit to being more prone to self-criticism than self-compassion, and thanks to a simple self assessment by Dr. Kristin Neff, they went searching for a better path. "Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect?" (excerpt from self-compassion.org)
So, how do we move on from disappointments and reset expectations that are realistic? The hosts found one answer in the title of a recent New York Times best seller by a favorite author, Shauna Niequist, "I Guess I Haven't Learned That Yet!" She writes, "I am old enough to have learned a few things that sustain us when the night is long, the sky dark, the journey rough, and I'm offering them to you." Nancy reports so many nuggets in Shauna's stories that she returned the library's copy and purchased her own so the highlighter ink is flowing!
Included in the discussion is how we manage the tension of self-acceptance with the need to continue pursuing growth and development. Lynn shared this quote from another author, Joyce Meyer, "We must develop the kind of mature love that says, "I know I need to change, and I want to change. In fact, I believe God is changing me daily, but during this process, I will not reject what God accepts. I'll accept myself as I am right now, knowing that I will not always remain this way."
Other articles found helpful by our co-hosts include:
Harvard Business Review: Give Yourself a Break
Harvard Health: 4 Ways to Boost Self Compassion
Harvard Business Review: Connect with Empathy but Lead with Compassion
Harvard Business Review: What does self-compassion really mean?
Episode Thirty Four: Pop Culture Reminiscing
From Mary Poppins to Jack Bauer, this episode is about pop culture's influence on a variety of expectations we might carry around with us. For these children of the 60s, teens of the 70s, and young adults of the 80s and 90s, we start with a trip down memory lane, mentioning a few favorites, such as "The Courtship of Eddie's Father" and "The Mary Tyler Moore Show." With limited channels to access, these two also remember spending hours watching game shows and soap operas, neither genre especially helpful in setting realistic expectations for acquiring wealth or building healthy relationships!
One aspect of pop culture that has been inspirational is food! Lynn's love for cooking dates back to childhood on the family farm where Sunday nights found her in front of the television screen eagerly awaiting Julia Child's cooking show on PBS. Flash forward several years and it's no surprise that she is currently recommending Netflix's "Somebody Feed Phil," featuring "Everybody Loves Raymond" creator Phil Rosenthal.
Episode Thirty Three: When There's No Pie in the Sky
We've got it all this week.
Weather warnings and severe thunderstorms. An imaginary pie house and one father's solution to his dashed culinary expectations. A toilet vortex and a cheesy uphill spiral. Could there be more to this madness?
To view the TED Talk, "The Benefits of Not Being a Jerk to Yourself" by Dan Harris, click HERE.
HOLIDAY BONUS #3 (Episode #32): Meet Our Valentines
Lynn and Nancy selected Valentine's Day as the right time to introduce the Second Cup audience to their longtime sweethearts, John and Tom. Included in their reminiscing are stories about an ice storm that sent one couple in opposite directions and the real reason why one creative Cupid was making homemade cards as big as his head! Mostly, there's a lot of laughter and love. Join us!
Episode Thirty One: Be Courageous and Ask!
Are there times when you expect those near-and-dear to you to read your mind, to know exactly what you want and when you want it?
Continuing with season three's Great Expectations theme, this episode reminds us: "It's okay to ask for what you need." Using insights from a Forbes magazine article by Margie Warrell, Lynn shares seven tips for liberating those personal expectations that rattle around in our heads and hearts. Recognizing that this work requires intention and reflection, the co-hosts are quick to suggest the application of "space and grace."
Warrell's Forbes article can be found HERE. For additional information on her work, visit www.margiewarrell.com.
Episode Thirty: The Other Talk for Women
Like ninety nine percent of all females, Nancy remembers when her twelve year-old body began to change. She describes the subsequent conversation with her mother as extremely awkward. Fast-forward to her late 40's when she was equally ill-prepared for another hormonal change: menopause! The co-hosts discuss lessons learned from this season of life and the importance of being an advocate for related self-care.
Resources mentioned during the conversation include a TED Talk that highlights how menopause affects the brain, and the book, "Successful Aging: A Neuroscientist Explores the Power and Potential of Our Lives."
Episode Twenty Nine: What is it you do?
Episode Twenty Eight: Now What?
When life-comes-at-you-fast and you're faced with the unexpected, how do you catch your breath? In this episode, Lynn and Nancy share a good laugh about the evening before the official COVID lock-down when the otherwise safety-conscious couples decided to try a new tiki bar! Was this a case of denial or just not having the facts? After acknowledging the reality of a global health pandemic, Nancy explains how their family found peace living in a restrictive urban setting where a public parking garage became a beacon of hope.
The related article on subjective well being can be found HERE.
Episode Twenty Seven: Never Say Never
Season Three of Second Cup with Lynn and Nancy is all about great expectations and what happens when we are given the opportunity to pivot when things don't go as we planned. In this episode, our hosts are looking at the whole idea of "never say never." For example, Lynn thought she'd never have a dog. Spoiler alert: she has one!
The practice of flexible thinking is part of the conversation. CLICK HERE to check out the article Lynn mentions.
HOLIDAY BONUS #2 (Episode #26) : We Love the Holidays!
Advent calendars for dogs? Advent calendars that promote 25 different hot sauces? Have we crossed some sort of commercial rubicon when it comes to celebrating Christmas? In this bonus episode, Lynn and Nancy share their strategies for reclaiming the season with intention and purpose. Taking their own advice, these holiday-loving BFFs recently took pen to paper to explore the different roles they play in December. An example might be "entertainer," "gift giver," and of course, "mom" and for Lynn, "Mimi." With the list of roles, next was a reality check with expectations. Lynn summarizes the experience, "I was able to be honest about my time and resources so that I can invest in those traditions and other things that set a peace-filled tone for the holidays." There's also plenty of levity in this extended conversation. Don't miss the story about Nancy's accidental investment in Advent candles and how a certain engineer by day, spouse by night took what started as a simple gathering for making gingerbread houses out of milk cartons to an entirely new level with farm animals and stylized home accessories.
For more on the Jesse Tree and other Advent related resources from Ann Voskamp, click HERE.
Episode Twenty Four: God So Loved
HOLIDAY BONUS #1 (Episode #25): Loving an Attitude of Gratitude
Thanksgiving Week delivers a bonus episode on gratitude and explores the question, "Is gratitude more than a holiday?" Lynn starts the conversation by sharing that gratitude is an attitude of her heart, a discipline that she strives to apply daily, while Thanksgiving is an event, a time to pause from the busyness of life and give thanks. Nancy agrees and uses a recent outing involving a dead car battery and a successful encounter with AAA to offer context for the cliche, "There is always something to be grateful for." The discussion also highlights meaningful holiday traditions, such as creating a Thankful Tree, sending Thanksgiving cards, or organizing day-of-celebration games! For additional inspiration, Lynn is pleased to share two related blog posts that she authored when working alongside her brother, Tim: Make Every Day Thanksgiving and 50 Ways to Give Thanks.
Episode Twenty Three: Love It or Leave It
Lynn and Nancy are encouraging us to give the gift of focus by eliminating unnecessary items from our respective spaces. Focus brings clarity, encourages learning (by blocking out the noise), and directs our best efforts (we only have 24 hours). By recognizing our mental and physical limitations, we are more likely to save true treasures, not "stuff." If saying goodbye to certain items is challenging, our sorting champion Lynn reminds us to use our personal values as guides!
Episode Twenty Two: Loving Your Community
It's Election Day in the US and one of the ways we love our communities is exercising our right to vote. Since turning eighteen years old, these two have been proudly wearing and sharing their "I VOTED" stickers. Nancy talks about her experience as a poll worker in Downtown Indianapolis and Lynn poses the closing question, "Parade or Protest?"
Episode Twenty One: We Love to Learn
Both hosts describe themselves as "lifelong learners," so in this season of love, a conversation about the love of learning is in order. Lynn begins sharing about what it meant to pursue and receive her master's degree as she entered her sixties. "I think it was important to challenge myself to do a hard thing."
While Lynn attended a world-class institution of higher ed (shout out to the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame), Lynn and Nancy agree that if your community has internet access and a local library, the choices are limitless. For example, did you know that most library memberships offer access to LinkedIn Learning courses? Special mention was made of Craftsy.com and CreativeMornings.com, the later offering virtual field trips.
Before signing off, both hosts share their response to the episode question, "Who was your favorite teacher?"
Episode Twenty: Loving Yourself Enough to (Self) Care
Self-care is an expression of self-love.
What is your reaction to this statement? Are you caught in the tension of preferring humility over self-love?
In this episode, we start by busting 5 myths that might prevent us from loving ourselves beyond the everyday basics. Lynn encourages us with the familiar safety instructions given while flying on an airplane, "Attach your oxygen mask first before attempting to help others." We can only give what we have.
Episode Nineteen: For the Love of Money
Recalling the early (and awkward) days of Financial Night in their marriage, Lynn guides this important conversation about how we view and handle money. Both hosts encourage consistent interaction with a household budget, offering different ways to review and direct spending. The key? Connecting dollars to values.
This episode's Try-Something-New segment is about writing a Money Manifesto!
Articles referenced in this episode:
INC: Tell Me How Your Spend Your Time, I'll Tell You What You Value Most
NYT: Your Spending Choices Often Reflect Your Values
Episode Eighteen: Loving Others Through Grief
In this second season, we are continuing to look at life through a lens of love. And you can't talk about love without acknowledging grief. "Grief is proof of life."
Nancy shares a series of guardrails that she uses to help navigate those challenging chapters of life. Not surprisingly, the co-hosts have book recommendations related to the topic!
Episode Seventeen: Offering a Loving Welcome
Lynn starts the discussion by asking Nancy to respond to hearing the word, "hospitality." What images and feelings come to mind? Is hospitality equal to entertaining?
Instead of focusing on table settings and elaborate menus, the two co-hosts talk about ways to focus on the people -- whether it's a small group or a manageable crowd - while providing a loving welcome. And yes, preparation, food, and drink still factor into the equation, but ... "It's always about the people."
Episode Sixteen: Influencing with Love
This conversation isn't a deep dive on social media influencers, though we have our favorites (S/O to Babs, stellar cookbook author, and grandmother extraordinaire). Instead, we look at the truth that we all yield some kind of influence. Are we using it for good? Unfortunately, according to research conducted by Ohio State University's Fisher School of Business, the most common forms of influence lean toward the negative.
Lynn and Nancy are quick to say "NO" to that approach, instead believing that with more awareness and intentionality we can be the loving influence that our families and communities need to grow and thrive. To help illustrate the point, Nancy shares a story about her husband's encounter with a coffee house employee and highlights the three "YES" choices that were made to influence another for the good. For the curious-minded, you can find the OSU research article HERE.
Episode Fifteen: Love for the Long Haul
Nancy and Lynn have both been married ot their husbands for nearly 40 years! Find out how it's magical and mundane, and maybe even a little like a marathon. And even some marriage advice and what we'd change about our weddings.
And Lynn mentions something she wrote nearly 10 years ago so here's the link: https://timmilesandco.com/30-ways-to-stay-married-for-30-years/
Episode Fourteen: Expressing Love Through Creativity
What's a "trashball?" Our hosts discuss the importanceof acknowledging and accessing intentional creativity. Why? To better love our family friends and community at large, of course! Plus tailgate suggestions including these sliders.
H/T to @bigboocast and @boomama for these! https://hostthetoast.com/french-onion-beef-sliders/
Episode Thirteen: How to be a Loving Friend
Episode Twelve: A Harebrained Scheme Comes to Life
Lynn and Nancy reflect on the launch season of the Second Cup, remembering the long list of ideas or hairbrained schemes that have been tossed around over the years, including a family camp! So, what made the podcast different? Join us to hear the rest of the story!
We're also pleased to announce that our second season began on Tuesday, September 6, aka "the day after Labor Day."
And as we continue to build our Second Cup community, we welcome your suggestions for future episode topics and guests. You are welcome to leave your comments on our social pages, @SecondCupWithLynnAndNancy on Instagram and Facebook.
Episode Eleven: Do I care what people think?
An encounter with a truth-teller in the women's locker room at the YMCA has Nancy asking the question, "When do we care what others think of us?" More than focusing on our outward appearance, we touch on ways to live in alignment with our values and accept forgiveness for those sure-to-happen epic fails.
Episode Ten: Plan for What You Can
While plenty of life events are unanticipated, we can plan ahead. In this episode, Lynn shares a trick for overcoming jet lag, and the friends talk about how to stay in the day while planning for the future.
Episode Nine: Wisdom in Waiting
Episode Eight: What To Do with Tangled Roots
Over this Second Cup, Lynn and Nancy talk about what to do with their roots, and how attachments play out in the rhythms of life.
Episode Seven: Making Mantras Count for Something Good
On this episode of the Second Cup, Lynn and Nancy linger over "life mantras" and how Nancy's time with her late mom provided one important tenent for living! Plus, what's the favorite part of your day? These friends have that in common, but is anyone surprised?!
Episode Six: How do we choose?
Episode Five: Engaging Our Spaces
Episode Four: Try Something New
And Nancy shares what she is trying that’s new to her with some success and some not-so-much.
Episode Three: The Value of Play
As someone who relishes the joy of lighting sparklers year-round, Nancy is always looking for opportunities to boost her inventory. This episode opens with her detailing an encounter with a Debbie Downer type of customer at a local grocery store. "She was trying to take my fun."
The remainder of the conversation revolves around the importance and power of play. The hosts touch on traditions that fuel their creative juices, including building and decorating gingerbread houses and building shoe-box size floats for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
And for those Mary Poppins fans, Lynn shares a story that will have you singing, "Let's go fly a kite..."
Episode Two: Using Terms of Endearment
A pivotal scene in the Netflix drama, "Maid" serves as the launching pad for this conversation about terms of endearment and why we are wise to recognize the power of our words. Both hosts share treasured nicknames given to them by a beloved figure in their past, Lynn's Grandma June and Nancy's Aunt Vera.
Lynn shares about a recent practice of being intentional to match eye contact and other body language with spoken words to help ensure an encouraging message is being received. She suggests that when someone has a positive customer service experience, in addition to saying "thank you," why not also add a more personal touch, such as "you are really good at your job." This practical tip is yet one way we can plant affirming words in our communities!
Episode One: Connecting to Community
When you experience a significant move later in life, finding a connection to your community can be challenging. While a blank slate might appear to be a terrific opportunity to start over, the reality is extra effort and energy will be required to start the process. In this conversation, Lynn shares lessons learned along the way to finding St. Margaret’s House, a place where she has established healthy roots as a volunteer. As our hosts discuss, these connections for service also allow us to continue growing and learning which is always a good idea!