I Got Your Back Girlfriend

In this episode I will discuss some holiday traditions from my childhood, ones I have passed on to my children, and how other members of my extended family celebrate!

Happy Holidays to all!

Today’s topic is on Why do we settle for less than we deserve? This is a great topic.  Someone inspired me to write on this topic because they were settling for less.

One of the biggest reasons people tend to settle for less is they lack the realization about their own values and compromise their values and beliefs.  It’s so important to figure out your what your core beliefs are and learn to stand by them. This is an inside job ladies.

I believe that deep down we know we are settling for less because we are not happy with the choices we make. Every choice that you make matters. It’s important to recognize the choices you make and if they don’t feel right, do something that does feel right. You have the power to choose and do something different. It’s important to be aware of this and look within and make a different choice. It’s not simple but you can do it. Think about how settling for less makes you feel. Does it feel good? Does it bring you happiness? It’s important to understand the difference between settling and choosing.

Ladies ponder this: How often do you settle for things in your life? Is settling driven by your fears? Why do you settle for less than you deserve?  Why do you feel you deserve less? Where in your life are settling for less?

Today I decided to do something different.

Today is Episode 16 , and I will guide you through this meditation in taking a journey with your little girl.

Before you listen to this meditation you can either have calming music in the background or just listen to my voice.

I invite you to find a quiet place where you don’t have interruptions.  I invite you to allow at least 15-20 minutes of you time.

Ladies do you have a relationship with your little girl?

I didn’t for many years. I learned how to have a relationship with the younger version of me. Coming from a background of abuse, I didn’t allow my little girl to come out and play with the adult version of me. She never felt safe.

With years of therapy, I began to remove the layers of protection that prevented me from having a relationship with my little girl.

We all have a little girl inside of us. I think it’s important to maintain a connection with her. If there needs to be some healing, heal your little girl. Make her feel safe. Have a relationship with your little girl. She is a part of you.

I provide tools for you in this podcast on being more resilient as well as a handout on my website, igotyourbackgirlfriend.com.

The topic today is on RESILIENCY. Resiliency is how we respond physically and mentally after going through a challenging time. It’s how we cope with the stress and how well we bounce back. People who are resilient have the ability to roll with the punches while going through challenging times. Being resilient won’t take the problems away but it can give you the ability to see past them and handle your stress in a healthier way. When you are resilient you don’t dwell on failure but acknowledge the situation, learn from the experience and move forward.

When you are resilient, you don’t curl up and die over the slightest rejection or failure.  A resilient person does the opposite of curl up; she expands. She reaches out, even in the wake of crisis. This is one of the most distinguishing characteristics of resilience: Your ability to continue to aim high and reach for it, as opposed to lowering your standards, expectations, or efforts. So when things don’t go your way (as they sometimes don’t), and you feel hindered or pushed back, your inner resilience can keep you coming back, and reaching out, not just to try again, but to outdo yourself, once again.

I provide tools for you in this podcast on being more resilient as well as a handout on my website, igotyourbackgirlfriend.com.

I would like to share this quote by Nelson Mandela:

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.

We all experience fear at some point in our life. The key is to not let fear paralyze us but give us insight on what we need to learn or deal with.

Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

If we live our life through the lens of fear, this just gets in the way of fully living your life.

Fear can prevent you from recognizing what your true desires are and how you take the steps to get to where you want to get. Fear is a part of life and growth. What is important that you recognize, name, and embrace your fear.

If you face your fears, it gives fear less power. It’s normal to have fears. Fear is the mind’s way of being protective of its existence. Some fear is reasonable but not at the expense of being a slave to your fear. If your mind fears, just allow it to fully come forth.

Be willing to sit with your fear so that you can understand where your fear is coming from and where do you feel fear in your body. This will help you understand where the fear is stemming from.

It takes being mindful of your fear when it shows up. It takes courage to dig deep and find what the root of the fear is. It takes courage to feel the fear and walk through it. Is this easy? No, it’s not but if you don’t you can become paralyzed.

Be curious. Investigate what your fears are. Be curious about your thoughts that cause you fear. Do you react to this fear? Observe what is going on. Just let your thoughts be when you are in fear. Fears are just fears.

Give yourself the gift of understanding your fears, get to the root of them, release the past, let go of the future. You have a choice to change your mindset and take different action. It takes practice and you are worth it!

Ladies, have you ever done a new moon ceremony? I would like to share ways that you can create a ritual around the new moon.

I have handout on what crystals you can use and candle colors and their meaning, as well as this ceremony for you on my website, igotyourbackgirlfriend.com

The new moon is a time to embrace new projects, ideas, plans, thoughts, relationships and the changes you wish to invite to your life. It’s a time to plant the seed of intentions and the opening to new possibilities that are brought by another lunar cycle.

The new moon offers you a time of hope, faith and renewal of your commitments. This is a time to check in with yourself and let go of what no longer is aligned with your path, purpose or your dreams. It’s a time to clear away what no longer serves you and make room for what is to come into your life.

Did you know that the new moon is very powerful and it can be harnessed through ritual to manifest your intentions.

When you perform a ceremony it’s a beautiful way to connect symbolically to your higher self, and to set clear intentions of what you want to bring into your life.

The new moon is when the moon is reborn. This is a time to renew and focus on renewal and the new energies you wish to manifest into your life.

You can reach me at:

My website: igotyourbackgirlfriend.com

On Instagram:I Got Your Back Girlfriend

Facebook Group: I Got Your Back Girlfriend

Podcast: Apple, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play Music

Ladies, so many people don’t have a healthy relationship and so I thought this topic would be helpful for those who don’t know what a healthy relationship is or if they are in an abusive relationship. I will touch on abusive relationships on another episode.

When you are in a healthy relationship, both partners are willing to adjust as needed to change and grow, both positive and negative. Partners are able to evaluate things together especially when there are conflicts and as you know there will be conflicts. We are human.

Ladies, do you know what makes a healthy relationship?

A healthy relationship is something you must nurture and maintain, no matter how long you and your partner have been together. You both evolve and grow. As you know relationships take work.

My belief is that if each person works on themselves, then the relationship with each other doesn’t require lots of work. I am not saying that being in a relationship isn’t work, but if you’re both working on yourself, it really makes a difference in having a healthy relationship.

I will talk about the ingredients for a healthy relationship.

You can reach me at:

My website: igotyourbackgirlfriend.com

On Instagram:I Got Your Back Girlfriend

Facebook Group: I Got Your Back Girlfriend

Podcast: Apple, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play Music

This is Episode 11 and the topic is on self-love.

I chose this topic because it’s so important to have self-love and a lot of us don’t have it. I know for me self-love has been learned over the years. Of course I am human and at times slip into not having self- love but I always return back to loving myself.

You may ask yourself just exactly what is self-love. Self-love is regard for one’s own well being and happiness. When you have self-love you truly care about  yourself and give yourself the attention you need. Self-love is the foundation of your happiness, your health, relationships, career it’s everything. Ladies how strong is your foundation?

When you have self-love you observe your actions and words with compassion as if you were your own best friend. I always tell people, have a love affair with yourself first. It’s the best kind. First love you.

Self-love is so important because this means we are holding ourselves in esteem and have confidence in our worth, no matter what happens around us.

So many of us go through life at a fast pace, we don’t stop or think about our well-being. We don’t take the time out of our hectic schedule to do the things that will provide us with good health, mental and physical well-being.

I invite you to choose to love yourself. Choose to get to the root of why you do love yourself.

One by one, replace the negative belief with a positive one such as release the belief that you are not good enough and instead tell yourself you are enough. You are worthy. This takes lots of practice and by doing this daily, it will be second nature.   Ladies you are worth it. It’s time to own your power. It’s time to love yourself, every part of yourself, your mind, body and soul.

You can reach me at:

My website: igotyourbackgirlfriend.com

On Instagram:I Got Your Back Girlfriend

Facebook Group: I Got Your Back Girlfriend

Podcast: Apple, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play Music

Ladies, here are a couple of questions for you to ponder. Do you have triggers? What are your triggers? What do you do when you are triggered? Do you have coping skills to use when you are triggered?

You might ask, what is a trigger? A trigger is something that sets off a memory tape or flashbacks bringing the person back to the event of their original trauma which could be a deeply disturbing and terrifying event that is outside the realm of usual experience. It could be a car accident, a natural disaster or a medical procedure. It can be a form of assault, emotional or physical abuse or being in combat. Trauma can also come from seeing a person who has experience any of the above.

Triggers are old painful feelings. There are many ways you can re-experience trauma and as a result, feel triggered. When something happens that reminds you of a traumatic event this is called being triggered.

Triggers are real. Different things trigger different people.

In what areas do you compare yourself with other girls/women, and how does it make you feel? My thought is that by being mindful when comparison appears in your life, you can name it, claim it, and most important, release it. It comes down to being ENOUGH! I AM ENOUGH! YOU ARE ENOUGH! WE ARE ALL ENOUGH and our bodies are perfect just they way they are.

“Body image” is the way you view yourself and how you think you look. Having a positive body image means that most of the time you see yourself accurately; you feel comfortable in your body and you feel good about the way you look. It’s also how you imagine other people see you.

Our body image is a collection of thoughts, beliefs and feelings that we have about our own body and how we compare these ideas about body image to others.

Research suggests that 80% of adult women are dissatisfied with their bodies, and this problem started at a very early age.

Your body image can be very positive or very negative. You may feel good about certain parts of your body or the way you look, and not as good about other parts. This is normal! Body image is how you feel in your body.

You can reach me at:

My website: igotyourbackgirlfriend.com

On Instagram:I Got Your Back Girlfriend

Facebook Group: I Got Your Back Girlfriend

Podcast: Apple, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play Music

This is episode 8 and the topic today is on Being Enough.

I would like to read one of my favorite poems that I love sharing with women.

I AM A CONFIDENT WOMAN

I AM STRONG

I’ve been through a lot in my life and I’m still standing

I HAVE SELF-WORTH

It took a lot of soul searching to finally see for myself

I AM BEAUTIFUL

I don’t need anyone to tell me, I already know my glow

I AM NOT PERFECT

Nobody’s perfect but I’ve seen my good and bad sides

I AM JUST MYSELF

I will never be alone; I will always be there for me!!!

I love this powerful poem and I hope it resonated with you.

Ladies, I invite you to ponder these questions:

Have you ever felt you’re not good enough? Do you still?

Have you felt unworthy?  Do you still?

Do you compare yourself with others because you don’t feel enough?

Well ladies, I am here to tell you that you are not alone.

As I was thinking about this topic, I pondered why do so many of us feel like we’re not good enough? And how do we deal with this feeling?

The feeling of not being enough may have started when you were child or as an adult when someone said something to you that made you feel less than.

The fear that you are not good enough is a fear that affects everyone. It may show up differently for each of us but it’s there.

I would like to share my story with you in hopes that it will inspire you to be curious and shed some light if you don’t feel enough.

This is episode 7 and the today’s topic is on Co-Dependency.

Check out my website for free handouts on Co-Dependency at igotyourbackgirlfriend.com.

When we are co-dependent we are emotionally reliant on another person.  Instead of being self-assured, confident and self-reliant, we are insecure and tend to lean on others to feel stronger. When we are co-dependent, we rely on others for our self-worth, and tend to be clingy. This is no way to live ladies.

A co-dependent relationship can be one with a parent, child, sibling, family members, friend, co-worker or a partner or spouse. When you are in a healthy relationship with someone, the relationship is a priority but you can find joy in outside interests, other friends and hobbies. When you are in a co-dependent relationship you have no personal identity, interest, or values outside of the co-dependent relationship.

When you are in a co-dependent relationship, you believe that your happiness depends on another person making you happy. Ladies, this is so false. The truth is the only person who can make you happy is yourself. When you give your own needs and identity to meet the needs of another person it will have long-term consequences.

For those who are co-dependent, have you ever wondered how you became co-dependent?

Most people learn codependency as a child because they are impressionable. A young child doesn’t have reasoning or life experiences to know the relationships they see and experience are unhealthy.

Children who grow up in dysfunctional families believe they don’t matter and they are the cause of the family problems. Does anyone resonate with this? I do.

The characteristics of dysfunctional families are chaotic, unpredictable, scary, unsafe, unsupportive, physical and or emotionally neglectful, manipulative, harsh or abusive. The parents or caregivers are in denial that their family has problems and don’t get help. The family has secrets. There is judgment and carelessness.  Parents or caregivers have unrealistic expectations of their children. They expect children to be perfect or do things beyond what is appropriate for their age. The parents or caregiver doesn’t provide the child with the feeling of security.

A child who has lived in a dysfunctional family will likely become the caretaker. Parents or caregivers, who aren’t able to provide a stable, nurturing and safe environment, can result in the child taking on the parenting role to fill in the holes where the parents or caregivers didn’t.

Are you a person who tries to fix a person? I was.

It’s important to not fix a person. You can have empathy, compassion, be a great listener and offer suggestions but it’s not your place to fix someone or at the expense of your well-being.

Always check in with yourself. Here are some questions you can ask yourself.

Why am I doing this?

Do I want to do this? or do I feel I have to something?

Will this drain any of my resources?

Will I still have energy to meet my own needs?

If you realized you are in a co-dependent relationship, you can make changes. The biggest change is setting boundaries and find your own happiness. Ask yourself, what makes you happy, fulfilled and loved. You are worth it.

This is episode 6 and the topic is on Boundaries. WHAT IS A BOUNDARY?

1. A clear line between what is you and what is not you.
   
2. A clear line between what is your responsibility and what is not your responsibility.
   
3. A clear line between what you will tolerate and what you won’t tolerate.
   
4. A clear line between what you have control over and what you don’t have control over.
   

The purpose of having boundaries is to protect and take care of yourself. By setting a boundary you are telling others how to treat you. Relationships can only work best when you are clear about your expectations and needs and able to voice them.

When you have clear boundaries, you will respect yourself and others will respect you by having consistent boundaries. When boundaries are set, you are less angry and resentful because your needs are getting met. Boundaries make our expectations clear so others know what to expect from us and how we want to be treated. Boundaries are the foundation for happy and healthy relationships.

Your boundaries act as filters in allowing what is acceptable in your life and what is not. If you don’t have boundaries that protect and define you, as a strong sense of your identity, you will tend to get your sense of worth from others. To avoid this, set clear and decisive limits so that others will respect them, and be willing to do whatever it takes to enforce them.

It’s important to be able to tell other people when they are acting in ways that are not acceptable to you. It’s your the responsibility to take to let others know if they are treating you disrespectfully.

When you have healthy communication with others, it’s important to learn to communicate how another person’s behavior is affecting you without blaming them. It’s important to state your feelings to others and to start with I feel, when you, or I want this from you. If you come from a place of blaming, such as you make me feel like….You did this to me…. Do you notice the difference. Starting with I, always indicates clear boundaries.

I share my stories about boundaries and discuss what being boundaries are. I provide free takeaway tools on boundaries on my website. Come join me and together we will take the journey this together.  I support you. I hear you. And I will always have you’re back.

You can reach me at:

My website: igotyourbackgirlfriend.com

On Instagram:I Got Your Back Girlfriend

Facebook Group: I Got Your Back Girlfriend

Podcast: Apple, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play Music

Ladies, have you ever noticed how often you compare yourself to others? Whether it’s our body, our job, our success, the list goes on. When we compare ourselves to others, it affects how we feel about ourselves, and is often used to measure appearance, performance and even your potential.  Comparison destroys our self-confidence and self-esteem. Comparison robs us of our joy. It all comes down to feeling enough.

I am excited to share my podcast with you because it’s my passion to serve and support women. I’m your host Natasha Burke from beautiful Sonoma County. My podcast is live every Tuesday where I will have honest conversations on everyday topics that provide self-growth, self-love, self-care, healing and empowerment through our heart-to-heart connection.

I invite you to take a journey with me to reawaken your feminine power, re-discover your authentic self, and provide tools that can help you transform your life.

Women need to support one another. Women need a tribe they belong to. Together we lift each other up.

I’ve created a podcast designed for women on all walks of life who want to own their power. I will always be honest and speak from my heart as I discuss everyday issues that women struggle with.

I share some personal stories of how I compared myself with others, and what comparing ourselves does to us.  I provide you with take away tools so that you can learn ways to stop comparing yourself to others. You can always email me at igotyourbackgirlfriend@gmail.com

My Website: igotyourbackgirlfriend.com

Instagram:igotyourbackgirlfriend21

Facebook Group: I Got Your Back Girlfriend

Podcast: Apple, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play Music

Ladies, do you know who your authentic self is? Have you ever thought about it? If you haven’t, I invite you to ponder these questions.

Being your authentic self is the core of you. It’s the real, true, genuine substance of who you are. It’s not defined as your job, function or role. It is not what you believe you are supposed to be and do. It’s not living your life for someone else just to please them or be loved. It’s all about living your life as you. 100% you.

Sometimes, we get caught up in these various roles that we lose sight of who we really are or want to be particularly if we’ve been rewarded by others for these behaviors.

When we get disconnected from our true or authentic self, we can feel empty, dissatisfied and confused. Without being true to ourselves, we also can’t offer the kind of openness and honesty that intimate relationships require.

Being authentic means being self-aware (knowing and trusting one’s own motives, emotions), being honest in evaluating one’s own strengths and weaknesses and acting in ways that are in line with personal values and needs, even at the risk of being criticized or rejected.

You can always email us at igotyourbackgirlfriend@gmail.com

My Website is: igotyourbackgirlfriend.com

Instagram:igotyourbackgirlfriend21

Facebook igotyourbackgirlfriend

Podcast: Apple, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play Music

Ladies, do you know who your authentic self is? Have you ever thought about it? If you haven’t, I invite you to ponder these questions.

Being your authentic self is the core of you. It’s the real, true, genuine substance of who you are. It’s not defined as your job, function or role. It is not what you believe you are supposed to be and do. It’s not living your life for someone else just to please them or be loved. It’s all about living your life as you. 100% you.

Sometimes, we get caught up in these various roles that we lose sight of who we really are or want to be particularly if we’ve been rewarded by others for these behaviors.

When we get disconnected from our true or authentic self, we can feel empty, dissatisfied and confused. Without being true to ourselves, we also can’t offer the kind of openness and honesty that intimate relationships require.

Being authentic means being self-aware (knowing and trusting one’s own motives, emotions), being honest in evaluating one’s own strengths and weaknesses and acting in ways that are in line with personal values and needs, even at the risk of being criticized or rejected.

You can always email us at igotyourbackgirlfriend@gmail.com

My Website is: igotyourbackgirlfriend.com

Instagram:igotyourbackgirlfriend21

Facebook igotyourbackgirlfriend

Podcast: Apple, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play Music

This is Episode 1 and today’s topic is on Self-Compassion. Are you compassionate with others but when it comes to being compassionate with yourself you find that you’re not? Does this resonate with you?

Having self-compassion is the extension of kindness, care, warmth, and understanding (instead of criticism) toward oneself when faced with shortcomings, inadequacies or failures. Having self-compassion is all about loving yourself and accepting all the challenges that happen in life through the lens of compassion.

I am excited to share my podcast with you because it’s my passion to serve and support women. I’m your host Natasha Burke from beautiful Sonoma County. My podcast is live every Tuesday where I will have honest conversations on everyday topics that provide self-growth, self-love, self-care, healing and empowerment through our heart-to-heart connection.

I invite you to take a journey with me to reawaken your feminine power, re-discover your authentic self, and provide tools that can help you transform your life.

Women need to support one another. Women need a tribe they belong to. Together we lift each other up.

I’ve created a podcast designed for women on all walks of life who want to own their power. I will always be honest and speak from my heart as I discuss everyday issues that women struggle with.

With 40 years of experience mentoring women and facilitating women’s groups, I will encourage, motivate, guide, inspire, bring awareness and provide tools so you can reawaken your feminine power and ignite the fire in your belly.

Ladies, I hear you. I see you. You matter to me and that’s why I created I Got Your Back Girlfriend.

It’s my vision to create a tribe where all women own their power and shine. You are not alone because I Got Your Back Girlfriend.

You can always email us at igotyourbackgirlfriend@gmail.com

My Website is: igotyourbackgirlfriend.com

Instagram:igotyourbackgirlfriend21

Facebook igotyourbackgirlfriend

Podcast: Apple, Spotify, Stitcher, Google Play Music

Hello beautiful ladies. 

Welcome to I Got Your Back Girlfriend. I am your host Natasha Burke, and I am excited to share my podcast with you because it’s my passion and calling to serve and support women.

I wanted to work with women who came from abuse because I knew how women felt, being beaten down and not being in their power.

So I took a 40-hour state mandated course and for three years I facilitated women’s groups. I heard lots of stories. I learned the art of listening. I witnessed women rise from the ashes and reclaim their power back. At the same time,  I was able to heal my wounds around abuse because for the first time, I didn’t feel alone. I knew these women were part of my tribe.

This weekly podcast is designed for women who want to  more self-love, self-confidence feel worthy and enough.  And most important be in your power. I am not a therapist but I share my education, wisdom and stories with you so that you too can feel enough, feel worthy and own your power.

With compassion, I encourage, motivate, guide and inspire you to reawaken your feminine power and restore and rediscover your authentic self.

Ladies, I hear you. I see you. You matter to me and that’s why I created I Got Your Back Girlfriend. Together we rise up. Together we create a tribe where all women own their power. This is my vision for us.