New Normal in Parenting

In our final episode, we share what we have learned from speaking to all of our guests from Season I. This was a labor of love for us, and we both agreed that we did not regret recording this podcast series one bit. Even though it took up a lot of time out of our already busy schedules, we have been able to grow from this experience, and we hope our listeners have, too. This was our self-care, or Collective Care, as podcast guest Rebecca Anuru of Dream Keep Consulting pointed out.

Podcast co-host, Flora Huang, shares some valuable information she learned from the different episodes that had helped her cope as a parent during these trying times, as well as some personal information discussing why it is important for her to lead by example. We want to thank all of you for tuning in, especially those who subscribed to this podcast series, taking time out of your schedule to hear our thoughts and the valuable insight from our guests. We hope that you have learned just as much as we have. We especially want to thank all our guests for taking time out of their busy schedules to speak to us.

Remember to like our Facebook page @NewNormalinParentingPodcast, and you will get updates on when Season II will be out. Ebony and Flora will be taking a much-needed and much-deserved break. 

Our final episode before the Finale of Season I. After discussing co-parenting, we had to devote an episode that focuses on dads, as we know that the voices of Dads are often not heard, focusing more on mothers, but we both know the important role that dads play in the lives of children. We particularly wanted to give BIPOC men, particularly Black fathers, a voice, as we know that many of the negative stereotypes of Black fathers are simply not true; a study conducted by the CDC confirmed what many of us already knew. In the words of one of our guests, Black fathers are given every label except "present", and we know that that is simply not true. We want to thank Aubrey LeGrier of Dads Unlimited, Derek Thomas of Real Dads Network, and Scott Leach of the New York City Department of Youth and Community Development for sitting down with us to have this very important discussion and helping us provide some education for two mothers and our audience.

We want to thank all of you who have joined us on this journey and listened to our thoughts and the expert opinion of our guests. We hope all of you have learned as much as we have from tuning in, as we have from recording them. Look out for our season finale, as we reflect back on everything we have learned from our guests who have all provided us with valuable insight.

We are in the process of closing out Season I, and we thank all of you for your support throughout this journey. Our latest episode focuses on co-parenting during the pandemic, as this is a topic that affects both of us. We were joined by Tera Gurney, former director of Henry Street Settlement's Parent Center who continues to provide workshops for Henry Street Settlement, which are still in high demand. Tera, herself, is a parent who is also a stepmother, so she has both a personal and professional understanding of the situation. Tera's Co-Parenting workshop was always one of the most popular workshops offered.

As usual, she provides some very valuable information, whether you are parallel parenting, co-parenting, or doing something in between. As Tera points out, no situation is better; it is just what works for you.

Trigger and Content Warning: Anxiety, Depression, Suicidality, Holiday Stress, PTSD  

The holidays can be a joyful time of year for many families, but we also know that it can also bring on stress and anxiety for others, and, for some, it can even be triggering for those who have endured painful memories during the holidays. For others, it may even bring on feelings of depression and loneliness, as they see others enjoying the holidays with friends and families, and, as one of our guests pointed out, you can be together with someone and still feel lonely. As we approach our second year of dealing with the holidays during the pandemic, many of those feelings have been escalated even further.  

We were joined, again, by Rebecca Anuru, Founder and Lead Facilitative Consultant of Dream Keep Consulting and Karmita Morgan-Randall, Co-Chair of the Citywide Oversight Committee of the Coordinated Children's Services Initiative (CCSI), who were our guests for the first Mental Health Episode we launched in August, and shared what they are hearing from families. We were also joined by Brett Scudder from the Scudder Intervention Services Foundation, Inc. (SISFI) and The Suicide Institute, who shared his own experience with surviving a suicide attempt and what he is hearing from the clients he works with and the current statistics on suicide and suicide attempts. Mr. Scudder started SISFI because he pointed out that the programs designed to address mental health concerns can often be more triggering than the mental health issue itself andsought to reform the system. 

Despite all of these dire statistics, we wanted to record this podcast to let people know that you are not alone, and there are organizations out there who are willing to listen. We are also hoping that social service and education professionals listen to this episode to get a better idea of what some of the families you are working with might be going through right now and how a little empathy can go a long way. 

To learn more about SISFI, visit their Website at: www.sisfi.org  

To learn more about Dream Keep Consulting, visit their Website at: www.DreamKeepConsulting.com

Clarification: About 25% of the Common Cold are caused by Coronaviruses, not SARS CoV2 - the virus that causes Covid-19. Rhinoviruses, another RNA virus, accounts for most causes of the Common Cold, about half, while Adenoviruses, a DNA virus, are the third most common cause of the Common Cold. DNA viruses do not mutate as much as RNA viruses, which is why there are less strains of Adenoviruses than Coronaviruses and Rhinoviruses.  

The pandemic has thrown everything off course, creating these "natural experiments" that have shifted every part of our lives and made us rethink the validity of certain procedures we have taken for granted for years. The college admissions process is no exception. Parents and their children are now questioning the importance of getting into a "highly rejective school", a term coined by our guest featured in this episode. As more schools have made the decision to become test-optional, it has reinvigorated the debate about the relevance of exams such as the Scholastic Aptitude Test (SAT) and the one offered by American College Testing (ACT). We also discuss issues of equity and how we can make the process fairer for teens with the potential to do well and thrive in these academic environments but may not be born with the same advantages and privileges that many of their peers have to allow them to compete in a level playing field. 

We sat down with test prep expert and college consultant, Akil Bello - Senior Director of Advocacy and Advancement of Fair Test, a non-profit organization dedicated to helping institutions of higher learning and the public understand the implications of standardized exams and their influence on our society. He is sought after by many media outlets such as Forbes magazine and was featured in the Netflix documentary, Operation Varsity Blues. There are no easy answers, but Akill helps us put everything in perspective. 

To find out more about Akil and his work, follow him on Twitter: @akilbello. To support the work at Fair Test, visit their Website: 

www.fairtest.org 

They also provide a list of test-optional schools: 

www.fairtest.org/university/optional

As always, please share this episode with others if you found it informative and helpful. 

In our follow-up episode on schools re-opening, we invited school nurse, Margarita Marasigan, who discusses the importance of getting the Covid-19 vaccine and other protective measures schools are taking to protect their students and families. This includes keeping your child home when they have any type of symptoms, even if it might not be Covid, and taking a community pledge to not put yourself in situations that may increase your exposure to the virus. For example, Margarita mentions that if a parent is invited to a wedding that is taking place in a state with a high rate of Covid, maybe that parent should politely decline, as the actions we do outside of school may put others in the school at risk. We also discuss why we dislike the "Perfect Attendance" award that schools often give and why it is important for sick days to be mandatory for every employee. Margarita reminds us that although the vaccine is still not available for children under 12, this is why it is so important for everyone else to get vaccinated, as it protects those who are not eligible for the vaccine.     

To continue our discussion on mental health and the impact it has had on children and families, not to mention the anxiety many of us now feel with schools re-opening, we invited clinical psychologist, Matt Zakreski (Dr. Matt), to provide some guidance to parents and caregivers wanting to know how they can better support their children and themselves. We also discuss the impact that this has had on neurodivergent children and how this pandemic has been affecting them. Dr. Matt gives us some interesting advice we were not expecting regarding parents who still want the remote option, especially with the looming Delta variant very present right now. 

Dr. Matt illustrated a very important point. If you are at a dinner party, and the house sets on fire, do you continue to eat and carry on a conversation as if there is no fire? Unfortunately, too many people, including those in the education system, are acting that way. The reality is that we have been in fight-or-flight mode for the past 17 months, and we have to acknowledge that. Dr. Matt advises that rather than pretend that everything is fine, we need to own our feelings, similar to what Rebecca Anuru and Karmita Morgan-Randall mentioned in our last episode on mental health. Dr. Matt emphasizes that it is ok to be upset right now. We also continued the discussion about educators insisting that students turn on the camera during remote learning.  

*Please note that New Normal in Parenting is only a platform to discuss issues affecting parents during the pandemic. We neither endorse nor advise against any advice expert panelists share with us. 

Flora Huang and Ebony Tyler are two education/social service professionals who are also raising children during this pandemic. Ebony has two boys, 16 years old and 14 years old, as does Flora, a 5-year-old and a 15-year-old. Like many parents, they are dealing with the challenges of raising children during this very trying time, as being placed in quarantine has brought on a new set of challenges. Both have felt the frustrated feeling as if too many educators and service providers are acting as if we are still in a pre-pandemic environment, and they know that other parents are feeling the same pinch of being pulled at all ends to accommodate for everyone else, as they are, too.