The ‘Confessions’ Sports Player Series

In which tennis ornithologist, Mrs Hacienda Buscando Stanley Carter (aka Phoebe Snetsinger) first observes Lord A.J.P.G.R. Murray in the field and makes her first fatal mistake.

#AusOpen2023 #AndyMurray #PhoebeSnetsinger #LiverpoolTennisClub #SerenaWilliams

In which Hacienda S.B. Carter (aka Phoebe) attemps to attract Lord Andrew J.P.G.R. Murray back to his haunting ground by the surreptitious placement of several pints of best foaming Hawkeye bitter in prominent positions around the tennis club.

#AusOpen2023 #AndyMurray #PhoebeSnetsinger #LiverpoolTennisClub

In which  tennis ornithologist, Miss* Hacienda's Unidentified Wandering Object appears to be struggling with hitting a tennis ball with his racket. She gives him advice which he ignores.

* Editors Note: NB Miss not Mrs.

In which the tennis ornithologist, Mrs Hacienda Buscando Stanley Carter first observes Lord A.J.P.G.R. Murray in the field. 

In which 'Serena Williams' plucks up courage and makes her advance on 'Andy Murray' only to have to contend with the unwelcome interests of 'The Redacteur'.

In which Serena (or is it Evelyn?) Williams comes clean to Lord Andrew J.P.G.R. Murray of Kirkintilloch.

Roger Federer's fear of flying threatens to ruin the flight from Manchester to Melbourne until Steffi Graf saves the day.

in which the greatest Tennis GOATS of all time queue for a flight to Melbourne and the tennis courts of the Australian Open, sharing their hard fought wisdom with Lord Andrew J.P.G.R. Murray of Kirkintilloch who is queuing for a bus to HMP North Sea Camp from the crown courts of Liverpool.

In which the youngest in society are taught that that if they have  malice enough to set fire to people’s tennis rackets, headbands and shoes, then their own lives must pay the forfeit.

In which the riot act in relation to arson is read out to Lord Andrew J.P.G.R. Murray of Kirkintilloch. Imprisonment for life is a potential outcome.

In which the Liverpool Daily Post enthusiastically reports on a strange sighting at Otterspool Promenade in Aigburth: a make shift funeral pyre floating down the River Mersey.

In which Ms. Serena Williams brings to the attention of the Greater Dunblane Tennis Club Committee the contraventions of the Club's rules and regs as perpetrated by Mr. A. Murray, Esq.

In which  Lord Andrew J. P. G. R. Murray of Kirkintilloch pirouettes the night away in the arms of Serena Williams at the Wimbledon Champions Ball: whilst Novak Djokovic slouches over the cocktail bar justifying himself to a pineapple.

The best of enemies are surely the best of friends aren’t they?

'No Vacc for Novak' means the Return of the Murray from the Mersey, just in time for the Australian Open.

In which Lord Andrew John Paul George Ringo Murray of Kirkintilloch starts the first 100 days of his new regime and starts laying down the law.

In which Lord Andrew John Paul George Ringo Murray of Kirkintilloch hears the news of his election of Tennis Club Chairman and immediately sets about changing the Club culture for good.

It's Half Time at the Brazilian World Cup and what have we learned?  Schadenfreude isn’t Germany’s newest centre forward!

In which our hero i.e. me and  Luis Suarez i.e. my bestest friend seek revenge on Giorgio Chiellini for poisoning the hotel's Axolotls.

In which our hero i.e. me 'enjoys' the hose piping initiation rites prescribed for the un-initiated and enjoyed by the powers-that-be.

In which our hero i.e. me faces down his foes and plans to speak truth to power.

In which our hero i.e. me  experiences the vicarious thrill of schadenfreude as the World Cup takes its toll on its galacticos.

In which our hero i.e. me gives something back to the community and dispenses largesse to the poor unfortunate youth of the favelas.

In which our hero i.e. me is gutted not to be picked for the national team, but bears his disappointment stoically.

In which our hero i.e me has reluctantly to forego a life of aimless wandering and buckle down to his / my first big challenge: his / my first run out onto the hallowed pitch of a World Cup stadium.

In which our hero i.e. me experiences the benefits of living the high footballing life in Rio de Janeiro and Copacabanana Beach. 

In which our hero i.e. me learns to become a permanent surprise to the opposition and the guerilla in their midst.

In which our hero i.e. me settles some old scores in Bogota before heading south to join the glitterati, chatterati and flitterati of the world's football elite.

Relive your glorious early footballing moment just in time for the Qatar World Cup!