Floating Ourselves: An Overly Complex Look at The CW's The 100

Star and Phoebe return for more Season 6 where things start to get decent??? Octavia gets some character development, a character we all love to hate on gets an underserved send off, and Bellamy gets a chance to shoot his shot! Along the way, Phoebe explains her absence, Star does something weird, and both get into some spicy hot takes about nudity and some recent controversy about Chinese representation in media. 

It's gonna be a spicy one today.

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You read that right. Star and Phoebe celebrate a year of complete NONSENSE with two much less signifigant episodes of Season Six where we see Josephine slip into Clarke's life pretty easily, Bellamy cries a LOT, and Magic Tree Sap happens...yay.

Along the way, Star and Phoebe talk dream blunt rotation, actually discuss what they like about the show (???), and slowly realize the horror that this show has been one of the only constants in their hectic young adult lives. 

Here's to many more years 🍻

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Star and Phoebe throw their standards out the window as in the next two episodes of Season Six, Clarke tries to schmooze her way to respect among the primes (as well as her friends forgiveness for all those war crimes), Bellamy's does the bare minimal work required to be considered a character on this show, and deeper philosophical meaning for the season is foreshadowed but quickly dropped to make room for more scenes of Clarke galivanting around in a dress. Along the way, Star and Phoebe make some stunning new headcanons that totally could've happened, laugh at a child's death a little too hard, and break some bad news about that prequel Jason decided to stake Season 7 on. 

Yeahhhhhh. F's in the chat for The 100: Second Dawn

Star and Phoebe return for more pain with the shocking beginning of Season 6 in which Clarke is an outcast, Bellamy gets his time to shine, and things take a turn towards fanfic country as the new world our "heroes" have now found themselves is a bit of a farcry from the show's edgy roots. Along the way, Star and Phoebe go in depth about CW drama, talk shop about "the industry", and celebrate Star's birthday with a gift that no one in their right mind should understand. 

ALSO CRAZY BELLAMY IS HERE AND WE LOVE HIM.

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Star and Phoebe become honorary hack writers once again as the fix-it fic saga continues with the infamous Season Three. We get some more fleshed out grounder politics that philosophically tie into the Allie plot, we get a better arc for Lexa, and we get quite a few dropped plotlines since most of them, when you really think about it, didn't really matter in the end. Along the way, Star and Phoebe talk Titus' murderous past, theorize on Roan's murderous past, and enjoy seeing each other's faces as we see another podcast status quo change that aligns with a new season's start. Ain't that neat.

Keep your eye to the sky for Season Six in two weeks (Date TBD)

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Star and Phoebe almost reluctantly tune in to the next two episodes of Season Five, where things seemingly start happening, but not quite. Things such as Clarke forcing her "kid" to not succeed in life, Kane failing to grasp that his f**k buddy is a drug addict, and Bellamy growing conflicted about the many terrible relationships in his life. Along the way, Star and Phoebe talk music, cringe at some terrible dialogue, and generally just wait for the plot to get better.

Any second now guys.

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Star and Phoebe give in after trying to escape talking about the next two episodes of Season Five when things take a STEADY turn for the worst with Clarke continuing her psycho mom routine, Octavia gets even more annoying, and something must've polluted the air because everyone thinks this is the right time to get BUSY. Along the way, Phoebe muses on Reddit, Star tries to not to die from heat exhaustion, and both feel their inner souls boil as they finally discuss the scene they've been dreading.

CUE THE MUSIC

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Star and Phoebe put away the "Good Job" banner as things take a dive in quality over the course of two episodes in which Clarke is praised relentlessly, Diyoza realizes the level of threat she's dealing with and Bellamy has a good moment before things come crashing down. Along the way, Star and Phoebe get unnerved by Echo's bloodlust that everyone seems to just ignore, talk about how they reinvent themselves, and welcome the return...of the character sniper. 

Mwadha

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Star and Phoebe stand in awe as they start Season Five with two really quality episodes where Clarke gets an actual moment of decent character develop, we get a brief glimpse at the Queen Diyoza herself, and Octavia begins her decent into becoming on of the series most powerful, and badass, forces. Along the way, Star and Phoebe talk glow ups, consider what everyone's taste in music is, and sigh deeply as Becho finally rears it's underdeveloped head.

It started so well...and then.

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Star and Phoebe slap on their hack writer caps as they continue the Auditory Fix-it Fic Extravaganza with Season Two in which healing blood makes sense, Clarke's arc from teen trying survive to leader who commits genocide is more natural, and build up for Becho actually exists. Along the way, Phoebe recounts her night attending The Quiz for the Cause, Star learns about the latest episode of Rick and Morty, and both get to late night crackpot writing as they tackle some infuriating mistakes they've been dying to correct.

Floating Ourselves will continue with Season 5 on 7/29

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Star and Phoebe return (with a live studio audience) to wrap up Season 4 of The 100 with Jaha starting shit, Bellamy reluctantly gaining a girlfriend, and Clarke doing something for once in her life as the end of the world arrives. Along the way, Phoebe fights the echo of their studio recording space (sorry about that), Star questions why Jaha is still around, and both Star and Phoebe try to explain to their friend Sarah (who's never listened to the show) why they shouldn't be committed to some sort of care facility. 

WE'RE BACK BITCHES.

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In this unfortunately shortened episode of Floating Ourselves, Star and Phoebe are in the same room as they talk about Episode 11 of Season Four: The Other Side where Clarke assumes control and is really upset about it we swear, we get a #Bellarke moment that has turned quite ominous as of late, and say hello (and goodbye) to the second entry on The Sh*t List as the CW proves that it should NEVER go near mental issues again. Along the way, Star and Phoebe b*tch (see what we did there?) about Cruella and the death of writing, give some specific props to Bob and Eliza, and once again apologize for yet another road block in the path to finally putting the series to rest.

The rugged meat grinder of capitalism doesn't want us to succeed BUT WE SHALL PROVAIL.

We'll return in two weeks with Part 2. Thank you for listening. See you then! 

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Star and Phoebe fight the odds and return to cover the next two episodes of Season Four where Clarke finally makes her go at commandership, Octavia lives up to the other facet of the Grounder Pounder name, and we say farewell to a king. Along the way, Phoebe profusely apologizes and also gives some backstory about the dark year that was 2016, Star comes up with a masterpiece of a headcanon, and both pay tribute to a character's end that came far too soon and was far too sh*tty.

RIP our man 😔

(Also again, please don't sue us REM)

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Star and Phoebe are back with the next two episodes of Season Four where Bellamy goes through his most tragic event yet while Clarke takes a shower (and also commits war crimes). Along the way, Star and Phoebe root for Emori, come up with a new buddy cop film, and recreate one of their most memorable moments from their first watch through where their hatred of Clarke Griffin truly solidified. 

IN THE RAIIIINNN

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Star and Phoebe celebrate as they pass through the halfway point with the next two episodes of Season 4 in which Clarke is a prime source of terrible ideas, Edge Lord Octavia continues to go off the deep end, and Roan desperately attempts to be buds with Bellamy. Along the way, Phoebe's mic betrays her, Star feels bad for Jackson, and both accidently come up with vastly superior versions of their favorite ship to hate on: Becho. 

Floating Ourselves will return 5/13, because finals week be a b*tch. 

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Star and Phoebe crack open some cold brew coffee as in this late night edition of Floating Ourselves, Clarke complains about being given pretty much all the power, Bellamy is once again a poor b*stard, and Luna is justifying a little salty about having to rely on the amazing and peaceful Skaikru for help when things take an irradiated turn for the worst. Along the way, Star and Phoebe talk about Echo's very bad makeup job, apologize for unjustly harping on a point of great contention, and miss as lot of each others jokes as, even in their sleep deprived state, they struggle to tolerate the rule of Season Four Clarke Griffin and Bellamy's steadily growing codependency.

Two words. Time. Bomb. 

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Star and Phoebe get back in the saddle again as they begin their adventure through Season Four with Echo arriving to screw things up, Roan being a straight up king (literally and figuratively), and Clarke steadily getting somehow WORSE as a character. Along the way, Star and Phoebe question Eliza Taylor's commitment to her role, suffer through a Kabby sex scene, and snack together on nuggies as they finally meet face-to-face for the first time in an entire season.

Get ready for the end, everyone! It'll come sooner than you think.

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Join Star and Phoebe for the Auditory Fix-it Fic Extravaganza as they attempt to make season one of The 100 slightly more watchable by giving Clarke an actual definable character, retooling Octavia's relationship to Lincoln (by changing it entirely), and just completely replacing Finn (because f**k that guy). Along the way, Star reveals the unbelievably complex process for creating Phoebe's The 100 related birthday gift, Phoebe dishes on why Clarke is fundamentally broken as a character (as if it hasn't been made clear by now), and both reveal their inner fan girl as they go in depth resolving the missed dramatic potential of the series.  

Tune in next week for the beginnings of the end as Floating Ourselves continues on to Season Four. 

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Star and Phoebe prepare to finally put the mess that is Season Three to rest as in this "shocking" two-part season finale, Roan shows up to be awesome, Bellamy takes the brunt of all responsibility, and Clarke puts herself in the very center of attention as she finally takes the Flame to chill with Lexa (and also defeat Alie before she kills her friends or whatever). Along the way, Star and Phoebe talk about their vast knowledge of drugs, imagine what would realistically happen should they ever meet a member of The 100's cast, and generally coast through an otherwise lackluster season finale.

Yeah, April Fools. It's still a toxic relationship.

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Decent audio returns as Star and Phoebe go over the penultimate episodes of Season 3 in which the Blakes get dramatic with each other,  Pike tries to "get through" to the Ungrateful Sh*ts™ in flashback, and Clarke breaks more laws of ethics than Alie when the gang finally meets the ever chill Luna (who just wants to be left alone!). Along the way, Phoebe's inner Christian nerd comes out as the show gets weirdly theological, Star enjoys loaded fries from Jack in the Box, and both are speechless as Clarke once again gets scott free with just about everything. 

Soon we shall be rid of Phoebe's Clarke Griffin laptop. Soon. 

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Star and Phoebe face subpar recording quality as they fight to cover the next two episodes of Season 3 in which Raven spills the tea, Bellamy loses a fight to a wall, and Clarke's decisions finally bite her in the ass. Along the way, Star and Phoebe come up with alternatives for the A.L.ie plotline, make their predictions about the Snyder Cut (Spoiler Alert: it's probably gonna suck), and get aggravated as the show misses more points than it ever has before.

Thanks Clarke Griffin computer. You're really something.

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Due to more technical difficulties this week (of the less deadly kind), Star and Phoebe decide to punish themselves by taking quizzes to see which The 100 character they most resemble. Along the way, they pinpoint what TV show the characters would most likely enjoy, go in depth about Jasper, and contribute to the problem of lackluster personality quizzes by creating one of their very own!!!!

Tune in next week when we continue our run of Season 3!

Due to technical difficulties involving wolves, this week is a showcase of all the rants too crackpot for normal episodes including pre-episode Bob Morley mocking sessions, the Shippocalypse origin story, and why season one would've been so much better if Clarke wasn't there.

Tune in next week for Ep 13!

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Star and Phoebe prepare to face palm a lot as in the next two episodes of Season Three of The 100 Bellamy does a very bad thing (gee, if only SOMEONE checked in on his emotional issues), Clarke kinda just goes about her life by claiming more hold over Lexa, and Raven gets straight up baked. Along the way, Star and Phoebe compare Bellamy's Bad Decision™ of the week to Finn's psychotic break to see what's worse (spoilers, it's still Finn), theorize about why Becca really created A.l.ie McNukes, and get pumped as Bellamy "War Crimes" Blake finally stands up against Clarke.

Our boy killed 300 people and still owned her in an argument. We're proud of him (For the argument, not the genocide. We need to make that clarification).

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Star and Phoebe sober up as the next two episodes of Season 3 see Clarke get all the power she's ever wanted from Lexa while Bellamy loses his girlfriend (proportional character development strikes again!), Pike is still racist (unfortunately), and Lexa makes only the best leadership decisions for her platinum blonde goddess. Along the way, Phoebe explains to Star the story of how she named her turtles inadvertently after The 100 characters, both get angry at the show's lofty attempts to tackle political issues, and everyone involved gets really sad as Bellamy's mental state crumbles because no one, not even his friends, cares about him. 

Please. Someone just check up on him.

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Star and Phoebe start the season off right as in the first two episodes of Season Three, Bellamy gets a girlfriend(?), Clarke gets busy, and the whole show gets awesome as the best character in the series is introduced. Along the way, Star and Phoebe discuss how the Wanheda rumor mill was created, discuss a very special and very important celebrity appearance, and express lofty goals of making these episodes shorter which, surprise, are as of yet unachieved.

Seriously, we cut down the number of episodes we covered. HOW IS IT STILL LIKE THIS.

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In this special bonus episode of Floating Ourselves, Star forces Phoebe to guess every ship name on Wikipedia's List of The 100 Ship Names while they give their opinions on the fanbase's, and sometimes canon's, romantic pairings (Spoiler alert. They're almost all terrible). Along the way, Star and Phoebe talk Bellamy's sad love life, accidently create their own ships, and really cringe at the bizarre ship naming conventions in the fandom. 

Yeah, we're all suffering today.

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Star and Phoebe ready for war as in this special extended episode of Floating Ourselves they cover the last four episodes of Season 2 where Clarke gets bloodthirsty (but also sad about killing???) after the missile strike, Bellamy’s life somehow gets more shit-filled when his cover is blown, things go exactly as not planned while attacking Mount Weather, and Clarke does the unthinkable by somehow setting herself on top of the moral high ground after mass genocide. Along the way,  Phoebe shows Star her favorite copypasta, Star gets sick forcing them to record in isolation (she’s better now ♥) and the headcanons get even more bizarre as two continue to blur the lines as to what actually happens in this show.

The journey may be very long but the road is very worth it, trust me.

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Star and Phoebe prepare to get really uncomfortable as in the next three episodes of Season 2 Lexa wants Clexa, Bellamy is extensively tortured in Mount Weather, and Murphy finds love in the desert (still no City of Light, though). Along the way, Star and Phoebe point out how much better it would be if Lincoln was replaced with Indra (in a mentor sense), get absolutely aggravated by the Griffin power showdown nobody wanted nor asked for, and just plain feel bad for all parties involved as the time has finally come to discuss the much alluded to Cheesecake Episode.

Yeah. We wish it was The Cheesecake Factory type of cheesecake.

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Star and Phoebe feel celebratory as they go through a couple of very special episodes where Clarke and the gang try to heal Lincoln of being a cannibal (a great plan there), Finn gets what he fucking deserves, and Clexa begins. Along the way, Star and Phoebe are dumbfounded and impressed by Clarke’s amazing and unintentional power moves, watch in horror as half the cast are slain at the hands of the Character Sniper, and once again question why anyone would give any Griffin any kind of power.

YES. IT'S FINALLY HAPPENED. #SorryDefinitelyNotSorry

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Star and Phoebe trek through the first three episodes of Season Two where Bellamy gets the shit beaten out of him, Clarke is a little too suspicious of Mount Weather, and Finn begins to show his true form. Along the way, Star and Phoebe talk about Abby’s very much non-canonical medical education, discuss the show’s bizarre fixation with male fan service, and are angered by the actual ship names in the fandom. 

We’re in the right damn mountain now.

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In this extra special bonus episode, Star and Phoebe give a run through of their greatest creation: The 100 Drinking Game. Along the way, they share their favorite drinks and drunk The 100 watching stories as well rant about Bellamy's bad luck in Season 7 (Spoilers, everyone).  

Grab a brew and say your prayers, because you're going to be dead by your third episode, we guarantee it.

Star and Phoebe prepare themselves for The 100’s inaugural season finale (for a second time because Phoebe’s computer deleted their first recording) but before the end of the beginning, things get uncannily familiar when Murphy infects everyone with space-rona, Raven x Bellamy happens (fml), Bellamy’s shit of a life gets even MORE complicated when a hostage situation takes place, and The 100 prepare for their last stand with the Grounders...eventually. Along the way, Star and Phoebe go off on many tangents, discuss Finn and Clarke’s entirely non canonical new hobby, and finally explain the one and only The 100 Shit List.

We may not entirely know where we’re going 100% of the time, but we’ve finally arrived.

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Star and Phoebe prepare to get trippin as in the next three episodes of Season 1 a Karen plots to take over the Ark, Bellamy gets his ass handed to him by drug induced ghosts, and Clarke starts a war. Along the way, Star and Phoebe rank their favorite characters, go in depth about the force of nature known as “Bellarke”, and laugh their asses off at Finn having a seizure.

Get inside cause there’s a storm comin, guys.

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Phoebe and Star grab their torches and pitchforks because over the course of the next three episodes a child serial killer gets what she deserves, Bellamy screws up big time, and we’re introduced to the source of all of the Blake Siblings’ problems: their mom. Along the way, Star and Phoebe get baffled by Clarke’s utter stupidity (or manipulative genius), witness the most perfect swan dive ever put to film, and become genuinely disgusted when introduced to the challenger to Jasper and Octavia’s budding romance: A Grounder kidnapper in his late 20s.

What else is left to say but….you screwed it up, Bellamy. You screwed it all up.

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Phoebe and Star blast off as they breakdown the first three episodes of season one in which a manipulative sociopath with two last names makes her first appearance, the King of Dumbassery himself takes his crown, and 100 (more or less) juvenile delinquents are sent off to horribly die on Earth (Thanks, Abby). Along the way, Phoebe and Star discuss their love for Jasper x Octavia, get really unnerved by a certain death obsessed thirteen year old, and point out some potential problems with throwing people out the airlock as a crime sentence.

Buckle up everyone, we’re just getting started.

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Phoebe and Star give the vital details as they discuss why they chose this bizarre series to give an in depth breakdown. Along the way, they discuss Covid, shipping, and how it’s not Eliza Taylor they hate, they swear.

Where You Can Find Us:

The 100: The Podcast: The Experience: The Trailer.

Premiering 12/ 10 and every Thursday after that.

Respect for Intro/Outro Music:

"Leaving Home" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License