BLK Milk.

In times where we feel lost and not on the right path, we often seek counsel from God. As people on spiritual journeys, we are often revered as those who went off the path and strayed away from God. And while that may be true for many, I don’t think it is true for those who truly balance their trinity (mind, body and spirit).

In my more recent closing of a highly significant karmic cycle of mine, I discovered that I failed to integrate certain lessons…so I sunk back into a karmic limbo and repeated them. And in the midst of that, I abandoned my inner-world (my first home) and with time, it became so unkept, that I started manifesting chaos and dysfunction into my material reality.

I did not lose myself, I lost SIGHT of very sacred ASPECTS of myself…which is almost worse in a way due to how undetected it can go. The dangers of choosing the mind over the spirit are nothing to play with. Our subtle emotional bodies deserve just as must attention and credibility as physicality and intellect; especially when it comes to what/who feels resonant or dissonant. In this lesson, I found that the mind more readily responds to desires vs. fears while the spirit responds to harmony vs. disharmony.

Without daily upkeep of my inner-world, I fell a prey to subtle emotional vices, unconscious behavioral patterns and the wandering thoughts forms that can and WILL make a home out of that uninhabited space if you’re moving too fast and unintentionally.

Just listen.

Many people do not realize that narcissists are extremely empathic individuals whose behaviors are reflective of tactics they've adapted survive. Visualize an empath in your mind as a child; super sensitive, easily triggered/overwhelmed, feels the heights and depths of EVERYTHING in their immediate environment and beyond; both subtle and apparent. Then, imagine that highly empathetic child being VIOLATED beyond reason; being raised in a toxic environment with no emotional support, being abused, molested, shut down, manipulated, robbed and drained of their energy and extended little to no compassion or protection. It goes so far, that they eventually go into FULL defense mode for physical, mental and emotional survival. And what does that look like?
ISOLATION AS A BOUNDARY. SELF-PRESERVATION FOR PROTECTION. BEING SELF-ABSORBED (PERFECTIONIST) TO EARN LOVE. EXCESSIVE CONCEIT TO MAKE UP FOR FEELINGS OF UNWORTHINESS.
They were once vulnerable and all feeling and now they are numb, cold and disconnected not only from the world, but from themselves...ALL to stop the pain and silent suffering. These firm, HARSH, impenetrable and even manipulative boundaries are for EMOTIONAL survival. Being an all-feeling empath was too much. And what happens as they get older? They attract reflections of their childhood self (other empaths) and it is the "narcissist's" CHOICE to trust and open up so that they can heal (even if it's painful), OR be a coward and continue to be self-serving ONLY.

☉ Many people may see my passion, fire and conviction and feel unsafe, judged and even disgusted. But rest assure, there are many elements to me as there are many elements to you. We do not assume form as catalysts in one another's lives for nothing. And while I can call someone out, I can simultaneously hold space for understanding them; whether I choose to share that with them or not. This is duality, this is life, this is the breath of evolution. You don't have to choose a side, but one is to be encouraged to gracefully glide upon that middle ground.

Everyone is constantly talking about manifesting the life they desire, abundance and living in our purpose. But what no one ever talks about is the in between; the shift that must take place in our ethics, integrity and overall authenticity as people in order for us to even have SPACE for the abundance and fulfillment that we deserve. Before this sacred space can be utilized, transformation must take place. And often times, taking self-accountability, practicing self-judgment and our emotional triggers as compasses instead of crutches is what will catapult us into the seat of our creative power. Since so many of us have forfeited our birthrights of survival, we have adapted this habit of waiting around for some profound occurence to fall into our laps in order to change our lives in a profound way and others invoke it themselves; they wait on no one or no thing to transform them. And this is what separates sovereign, natural people from the common man: the power of awareness, intentional choice and commitment to change as the only constant we truly have.

We unconsciously spend a large chunk of our lives chasing security, working out, changing our diets, trying to become rich, all to essentially avoid death. But unbeknownst to us, death and change can be used interchangeably. Change is the the only constant we have and the more we resist and cling to worldly attachments + associated identities, the more we suffer and are condemned to the sterile hell fires of our own minds. Death is about transformation and from a higher perspective, it's signifies REBIRTH. So, if you want to achieve the unthinkable, you MUST surrender to the essence of death, which is not only limited to physical death; the nature of the transformation is all the same. To truly live, you must become willing to constantly change (transformation) and be snatched out of what you've always known yourself and life to be OVER AND OVER AND OVER again; for THIS is the true essence of life.

Many of us can recall the traumatic experiences that we have endured; be it rape, abuse, bullying, etc. But what about the energetic trauma that some of us endure? Who is going to speak up for the people who have been harassed and tormented by thought forms, spirits and entities we've contracted or experience outside of ourselves inside of our family members and peers? A big key toward healing is addressing the energetic traumas we experience so that this form of psychic awareness is nurtured and accounted for. Tune in to hear more about some of my energetic traumas as a child and how I went about learning to trust, love and govern myself through integrating the unseen aspects of life.