No One Will Watch TV with Us

"Sex and the Widow"

And just like that, how did Carrie take 3 months to fix her hip, a year to write a book, and Miranda only send that DM to Che 3 months ago?? Did the writers do a lot of weed or something? Lilian and Ethan have a lot of questions and as per usual, no answers! Oh, and Charlotte plays tennis in this episode as well. 

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"Diwali"

And just like that, Carrie discovers Diwali for the first time apparently? Woo-y what an episode! Miranda is masturbating and drinking sparkly juices, Carrie listens to a beeping sound, and Charlotte accurately yells "You're not progressive enough for this". That's right it's time to discuss another episode of the hit drama "And Just Like That". Love it or hate it - you can disagree but you can't leave!

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"Tragically Hip"

And just like that, Miranda defeated alcoholism. With an episode filled with tequila, gin, and "champagne, we have to get more champagne!", maybe Miranda does have a problem after all. Luckily after drunk ordering a self-help book and having sex with Carrie's boss, she seems back on track. Special guest Chris Tse joins us to talk Rock's coming out TikTok, Charlotte's burpees routine, and Carrie's messed up skeleton. 

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"Some of My Best Friends"

And just like that, Charlotte's racist, surprise surprise. Special guest Malorie Cunningham (Sketchy History, Southern Comfort) joins us to talk about Caroline's bodega skirt, Charlotte's search for "non-vanilla" friends, and Harry shouting "Michelle Obama" every 5 minutes. We get the first spotting of Seema, and finally, the answer to the question: what was Big's favorite piece of glass?

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"When In Rome..."

And just like that, the most hilarious event of the year, nay, century: Che Diaz Live at This is a Comedy Concert. Were there any jokes? No. Do we understand what a comedy concert is now? Double no. Get three little Tito's bottles ready for this one because we are doing a deep dive into this comedy concert - or TED Talk - or perhaps, cult leader speech. Oh, and Natasha's in this episode too. 

Bonus points if you can guess who had Covid during the recording of this episode: Lilian or Ethan?

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"Little Black Dress"

And just like that, 86 Big, 86 Chris Noth's career. How lucky were we to do deals with Big? It feels like not lucky at all. John James Preston is dead and now we, the podcast hosts, have to make his very boring funeral funny. This episode has everything: a woman who only likes to be called "Big's Secretary", old characters we don't remember, Che Diaz getting high with a child, and Brady banging so hard that even Steve can hear it. Later that night I got to wondering, maybe this reboot wasn't such a great idea after all? 

"Hello It's Me"

And just like that, we're back babyyyyy, and so are 3 out of 4 of our girls!! Miranda's an alcoholic, Steve's too old to hear, Charlotte needs everyone to go to Lilly's piano recital, and Carrie never learned how to call 911. Strap out your Manolo Blahniks, your Peleton shoes, or your Woke Moment button because we are talking all things Sex and the City reboot. Will there be a pop quiz? Well, there was going to be, but Miranda said something racist at the top of class so not anymore!

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"Cock-a-Doodle-Doo!"

Hello, you! Strap on your scrappy, strappy sandals because jealousy is in the bedroom with racism, transphobia, and impotence, and it's getting hot-hot-hot! That's right--It's summer in the City and our favorite boyfriends Big, Aidan, Scout, and Steve join the sexcapades to tie up some loose ends with those strings that never got attached for this iconic season three finale. 

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"What Goes Around Comes Around"

What's sexier than a five-minute recap? Three five-minute recaps? That's pretty sexy, but I think we found something even sexier. That's right--we've combined the next three five-minute recaps into one super-sized 15 minute (more like 20 minute) combination. So sit back and relax because it's time for some eargasms.

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"Escape from New York"

The Hustler store, the Hustler store, the grandmother way to the Hustler store! 

"Don't Ask, Don't Tell"

"Running with Scissors"

"All or Nothing"

Well if we're talking Sex and the City, I pick nothing. Just kidding, I want it ALL. I want Carrie confronting her affair with Mr. Big; I want Charlotte's shrewd prenup negotiations; I want phone sex; and I want to see Samantha with a cold. But even more, I want Lilian to tell me about it all in about five minutes!

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"Easy Come, Easy Go"

"The Big Time"

Only five minutes for the return of Mr. Big?! Well, that's all he deserves, isn't that right, Emily? You betcha, because there's too many other great things to talk about in this episode, like puppies and babies and shrimp! Let's all have a listen.

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"Drama Queens"

Spoiler alert: Samantha Jones wins Game of Thrones!

"Are We Sluts?"

Yes. Didn't even need a full five minutes. Just kidding, let's get into the nuances, baby ;) 

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'No Ifs, Ands or Butts"

"Boy, Girl, Boy, Girl..."

We're talking drag kings, bisexuality, big ole sock dicks, and so so much more. All this controversy in only five minutes?? This sounds like a challenge for our one and only Emily Austin. Lay some knowledge on us 👏👏👏.

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"Attack of the Five Foot Ten Woman"

"Politically Erect"

We're back with a fiver, and so is our favorite Mad Man Roger Sterling, and like all politicians, he has a dastardly secret. But that's not all! Samantha finds her match, but can she look past her superficial hangups? Plus, Miranda also finds her match (it's STEVE!), and I honestly don't remember what happens to Charlotte--oh yeah, she hosts a party? I guess that's a storyline?

So sign your NDAs and drink some water, because it's time to pee.

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"Where There's Smoke...

"Ex and the City"

"Twenty-Something Girls vs. Thirty-Something Women"

"Was it Good for You?"

Boy oh boy, this is a doosy with a capital 'SILLY.' Our dear host Lilian Tanner is coming through in the clutch to break down Miranda's clean linens, alcoholism, and Charlotte's sex drive. Can you believe Charlotte is bad at sex? I can.

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"Shortcomings"

"The Fuck Buddy"

In this episode Ethan and Emily put aside their disagreements because #1: there’s no time, and #2: this episode is too good to fight about! Carrie tries to turn a fuck buddy into a relationship, Miranda basically stars in her own version of Big Little Lies, and Charlotte asks out TWO boys! On top of all that, the ladies have a picnic where Carrie dresses as a milkmaid and somehow manages to not have the craziest outfit there. It has to be seen to be believed so google it while you listen. Seriously.

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"Games People Play"

We've been saying it for weeks, and now they're finally doing it! They're going to therapy! Well, Carrie is anyway. But it's a start! It might have gone well too, if she hadn't met a young Jon Bon Jovi in her shrink's waiting room (oh yeah, it's the real Jon Bon Jovi, we're halfway there, baby.) But that's not all, Charlotte's on the hunt (again) and Miranda puts on a peep show for her neighbor! I hope she doesn't get disbarred!

And all of this in only FIVE MINUTES!

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"La Douleur Exquise!"

This is an emotional episode. No doubt about it. We're talking fetishes, abusive relationships, and workplace healthcode violations. My vote is we skip over Big's emotional unavailability and Carrie's masochism and spend the whole episode talking about Charlotte's shoe shopping. Anyone? Votes? Fine.

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"Evolution"

In this special 5-minute recap, let Lilian sneak her way into your hearts the way Carrie wishes she could sneak into Big's apartment. Why is she sneaking? It's either to subtly make her presence known through knick-knacks or to murder him. Which is it, Lilian?!

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"The Caste System"

"The Caste System"

"Old Dogs, New Dicks"

This episode is WILD! We’ve said it before, but this time we mean it! Carrie punches Mr. Big, Charlotte’s lover has an adult circumcision, and Miranda and Steve are basically Romeo and Juliet! Can Emily calm down enough to recap all of this in 5 min? Probably not, but you can listen to her try. DON’T SEND HER DICK PICS PLEASE! We’re begging you.

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"The Man, The Myth, The Viagra"

"The Chicken Dance"

"Four Women and a Funeral"

Grab your tissues because JAVIER’S DEAD! Another character we have to care about, but we’ll never get to know. Gone too soon! This episode has everything from Charlotte dating a widow to Miranda buying an apartment (BECAUSE SHE’S AN IMPORTANT LAWYER LADY) to Carrie wearing rented bowling shoes. Emily takes it all on in 5 minutes!

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"The Cheating Curve"

Charlotte’s here and she’s queer...well not quite. But she is having the time of her life going to fabulous lesbian parties. Carrie’s dating Big but she won’t tell her friends. But they’re gonna find out when the reach into her who-ha to fix her diaphragm! Can Lilian and Ethan talk about all this goodness in 5 minutes or less? Let’s find out!

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"They Shoot Single People, Don't They?"

"The Awful Truth" - 5-minute recap

Can we tag-team recaps?? Well we did! Lil and Emily take on dirty talk, abusive relationships, couples therapy, and Carrie’s birthday. Oh boy, all in five minutes! Take it away, ladies!

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"The Freak Show"

We have another very special, handy-dandy 5-minute recap for all you lovely listeners. Are we all freaks? Are just men freaks? Is just Ethan a freak? Let's find out.

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“Take me out to the ball game”

"Oh Come All Ye Faithful"

Y'all, we got deep this episode. But how could we not?? Crazy Carrie and the jazz cat confront the miserable dynamic of their relationship, Samantha falls in love (or does she?), Miranda stands up to the Catholic Church, and Charlotte doesn’t do anything because she’s hardly a character this season.

From all of us at No One Will Watch with Us, thank you SO much for watching with us! Here's to better episodes ahead, and we’ll see you next week for SATC Season 2 Episode 1!

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“The Drought”

I know, I know. TWO episodes, in ONE day. Can you handle twice in one day? *wink* Well how about THRICE?! Just kidding, two is enough--I’m tired; I have an early meeting tomorrow; I have a headache—let’s just go to bed.

Anyway, if you’ve ever farted in front of a rich jazz cat then this episode is for you. Tell us what you think, Emily!

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"The Baby Shower"

Guess who's back. Back again. Lilian's back with a 5 minute recap. Tell your friends.

Seriously though, Lil is like, really good at these recaps. So good it should be illegal. We should probably check with Miranda (she's a lawyer, I don't know if you've heard).

So in case you forgot, for the more "insignificant" episodes--as determined by Lil, Emily, and me--one of us (or all of us) will do a super quick 5-minute recap to catch you up on the plot and make a few silly observations.

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“The Turtle and the Hare”

"Three's a Crowd"

Threesomes! Threesomes everywhere! Thank goodness we have not one, but two guests (a couple, in fact!) to help tackle this one. Can their love stand the test of Charlotte's threesome, first-date interrogations, and Ethan's heteronormativity? Probably! But let's find out!

Listen, I know we said we'd write a long description about the clit in your butthole, but Ethan wrote this and he is still insisting that there isn't a clit in your butthole. So it's up to you, listeners, send us your thoughts about the clit in your butthole. Diagrams are welcome; photos...not so welcome, but we appreciate the thought.

"The Monogamists"

"Secret Sex"

"The Power of Female Sex" - 5-minute recap

What? Did you think we were going to do near-hour-long episodes for every episode of a TV series? That's crazy--who has that time? I mean, we do, but you probably don't. And we're doing this for you. Don't forget that. Ever.

So here's the deal: for the more "insignificant" episodes--as determined by Lil, Emily, and me--one of us (or all of us) will do a super quick 5-minute recap to catch you up on the plot and make a few silly observations. When the time is right, you can expect these on Thursdays.

Party on.

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