No Chill Enneagram
By Richard Clark and Bethany Perk
A safe space for enneagram fanatics and a really dumb idea for a podcast.
We can't stop talking about the enneagram, so we made a podcast to get it all out of our system.
Every week, Richard Clark and Bethany Perkins are joined by a fellow fanatic to talk about how bad their obsession has gotten, type people and things, and just generally talk about the enneagram without restraint or chill.
We can't stop talking about the enneagram, so we made a podcast to get it all out of our system.
Every week, Richard Clark and Bethany Perkins are joined by a fellow fanatic to talk about how bad their obsession has gotten, type people and things, and just generally talk about the enneagram without restraint or chill.
No Chill EnneagramFeb 24, 2020
00:00
52:31
CHRIS HEUERTZ: "THIS EXISTENTIAL RESTLESSNESS IS ME!!"
Look, here's the deal: sometimes we're overcome by a global pandemic. Happens to the best of us. And then you know how it goes. You find yourself trapped in your home for literal MONTHS on end, and in the meantime you realize that everything you thought you knew about humanity and community and social assumptions is wrong.
All of that happens. So who you gonna call? Chris Heuertz, of course! He's the author of just-released The Enneagram of Belonging, and the host of the brand new podcast that was accidentally perfectly timed for the pandemic: Enneagram Mapmakers.
Okay, but what would you talk to Chris about, if you had the chance? Maybe you'd just want him to tell you it's going to be okay, or more importantly, that YOU are okay, right now as you are.
Maybe you want to ask him "Enneathought is out of control, right??" and hear what he has to say.
Or maybe you need him to help you empathize with Captain America. Because it's hard for everyone right now. Even superheroes need a break.
May 12, 202001:04:32
8: I HAVE THE CONFIDENCE OF A MEDIOCRE WHITE MAN!!!!
It’s about that time! Yep, it’s time for an enneagram 8 to dispel all the myths about 8s in one fell swoop, and single-handedly set us straight! And somehow, we felt good about it!
Let’s be honest, sometimes the enneagram can be so white. Karen González, a writer, speaker, and immigrant advocate tells us why the enneagram seems so dominated by the majority culture, and that leads to a whole wild conversation about nature/nurture/sexism/racism/existentialism just kidding about that last one.
Karen González just does stuff! She was exactly what we need right now.
BUT ALSO: 8’s in stress can be paranoid, secretive, and fearful! It’s a whole thing! Find out more.
OH, AND: What enneathoughts make Karen FURIOUS?
PLUS THIS: We type The Good Place characters! This was inevitable.
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Want more NCE? Find bonus segments, behind the scenes nonsense, and more at our Patreon! www.patreon.com/nochillpodcast
Let’s be honest, sometimes the enneagram can be so white. Karen González, a writer, speaker, and immigrant advocate tells us why the enneagram seems so dominated by the majority culture, and that leads to a whole wild conversation about nature/nurture/sexism/racism/existentialism just kidding about that last one.
Karen González just does stuff! She was exactly what we need right now.
BUT ALSO: 8’s in stress can be paranoid, secretive, and fearful! It’s a whole thing! Find out more.
OH, AND: What enneathoughts make Karen FURIOUS?
PLUS THIS: We type The Good Place characters! This was inevitable.
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Want more NCE? Find bonus segments, behind the scenes nonsense, and more at our Patreon! www.patreon.com/nochillpodcast
Apr 24, 202001:06:28
No Chill Coronagram: HOW CAN I HELP!!
We’re all in this together, but in what exactly? Like, what are we all trying to do again? We can’t exactly go hug everyone or help them in any physical way. So WHAT ON EARTH ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO TO HELP!! There are exactly 9 answers to this question. We run down them all with special guest, Jennifer Clark.
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Want more NCE? Find bonus segments, behind the scenes nonsense, and more at our Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/nochillpodcast
Mar 30, 202036:39
COVID-19: WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!! ARE YOU OKAY!?!?!!
We know when we're needed, so we did what it took to record a very timely bonus episode about living with the Corona Virus.
We talk about what each number does when confronted with a worldwide pandemic and touch a little bit on existential dread. FUN!!
Mar 12, 202001:10:54
1: IF I BUY THIS ORGANIC DAIRY I’M HURTING BABY COWS!!!
This week, we speak to Natalie Schlabs (RHYMES WITH SLABS, DUMMY!), a Nashville singer-songwriter who battles her inner critic like a dang warrior whenever she gets on stage. But it’s ok, she’s got that 7 energy to help her out when things get too real.
We talk about the multi-layered perfectionism of 1s, why she’s always yelling about dishes, and why starting a Kickstarter is just too much man (kickstartnatalie.com!!!)
ALSO:
We run down stage-craft for every number. You’ll NEVER GUESS which number just wants to hide once they’re up there, ok yes you will.
PLUS: Type your baby in the womb! Yes, it’s possible! (no, it’s not, but maybe it is????)
ALSO PLUS: An EXCLUSIVE clip of Natalie’s upcoming single, which is a totally platonic ode to podcast friendship!!
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Want more NCE? Find bonus segments, behind the scenes nonsense, and more at our Patreon! www.patreon.com/nochillpodcast
We talk about the multi-layered perfectionism of 1s, why she’s always yelling about dishes, and why starting a Kickstarter is just too much man (kickstartnatalie.com!!!)
ALSO:
We run down stage-craft for every number. You’ll NEVER GUESS which number just wants to hide once they’re up there, ok yes you will.
PLUS: Type your baby in the womb! Yes, it’s possible! (no, it’s not, but maybe it is????)
ALSO PLUS: An EXCLUSIVE clip of Natalie’s upcoming single, which is a totally platonic ode to podcast friendship!!
----
Want more NCE? Find bonus segments, behind the scenes nonsense, and more at our Patreon! www.patreon.com/nochillpodcast
Mar 09, 202001:13:32
2: YOUR CRISIS IS NOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY SLEEP!!!!
If you've never heard of a "Fat Activist," you're about to! Amanda Martinez Beck, the author of Lovely and the co-host of the Fat and Faithful podcast, is one of those, and she has a lot of really smart and wise things to say to EVERY SINGLE NUMBER about the lies they believe about their bodies. Yes, even 4s.
We also talk about why 2s are constantly answering personal questions by talking about their family members, how marathons can kill you, and why talking about bodies is so dang awkward in the first place.
ALSO: Bleep you, enneathought. You're a jerk.
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Want more NCE? Go check our Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/nochillpodcast
Feb 24, 202052:31
4: ARIANA GRANDE TRULY UNDERSTANDS ME!!
Sure, Michael Wear may have directed faith outreach for President Obama’s historic 2012 re-election campaign, served in the White House faith-based initiative during President Obama’s first term, and written the acclaimed book "Reclaiming Hope," but probably more important than any of this stuff is that he's a HUGE Ariana Grande fan, and an enneagram 4.
That's why we had him on to geek out on both subjects - we stay away from that politics thing for the most part, and focus on what really matters: "Thank u, next," and why an enneagram 2 could never write a song like that.
FEATURING:
Nixon? Why he's a classic non-resourceful four.
An Ariana Grande Song for every type!
Why 4s wash the dishes so dang much!
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Want more NCE? Go check our Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/nochillpodcast
Find out more about Michael Wear here: http://michaelwear.com/
Jan 28, 202059:17
9: MY WISDOM IS A SNEAK ATTACK!!!!
Maybe you know Beth McCord as Beth McCord, or maybe you know her as YOUR ENNEAGRAM COACH, the one on Instagram gettin’ all up in your brain. This episode, we pick her brain about:
Stress numbers, HOW DO THOSE WORK!!
Enneagram Blind Spots!!
See the Enneagram 9 SNEAK ATTACK in action!!
Let’s say coaches were coaching a team made up of one single number, what is the optimal way they should coach? PRACTICAL!!
ALSO: Beth waltzes onto our podcast and savages Richard, just roasts him completely, you’ll never see him the same way again. He’s burned up and gone now.
For more Beth McCord Brain Dumping, or for the Marriage Story enneagram talk we mentioned in this episode, check out our patreon: https://www.patreon.com/nochillpodcast
Jan 14, 202051:46
WE'RE BACK, AND WE’RE THIRSTY!!!
Look, everyone knows a person cannot survive on bread alone. They also need money to buy that bread. And depending on their type, they also need water, or coffee, or Fruity Sweet Juice (TM).
On this BONUS edition of No Chill Enneagram, Bethany and Richard reunite to discuss the future of No Chill Enneagram and rundown the ideal drink for each type.
Want continued access to these kinds of bonus episodes, AND to support our show and ensure it's ongoing success??? Ratings and reviews are so two-thousand and late. Here's a link to our patreon: https://www.patreon.com/nochillpodcast
Dec 27, 201919:55
FINALE PT 2: WE'RE ALONE WITH ALL OUR DOUBTS AND FEARS!!!
Don’t cry little buddy. Sure, No Chill Enneagram is going away for a while, but it’s not like there aren’t 463 other enneagram podcasts out there for you to peruse. You’ll be just fine, we’re sure of it.
Sometimes, though, we’re not fine. Not in the least. And we want to be honest about that - in a funny way? So for the last half of the finale we dimmed the lights, eschewed the guests, and had some real-talk about our lives, our hopes, our dreams, and the various ways we make ourselves miserable. Also we type like 7 million reviews, because we made a promise.
Bethany will miss helping you guys. Richard will miss being known by you. Both of them will miss making a show with each other. We’re not going to beat around the bush here. Bethany and Richard are sad about this.
BUT - the next season of No Chill Enneagram will be here before you know it, like a budding rose on a bright summer day, which i dunno if that’s a real thing but they are nice words that I strung together.
Anyway. Watch this space. Next season you’ll have a role to play beyond giving us stars so we type you.
In the meantime, take the time to seek out some other podcasts, like: The MillEnneagram for Idiots and Coffee Journey (Typology). We hear it’s ok.
Sometimes, though, we’re not fine. Not in the least. And we want to be honest about that - in a funny way? So for the last half of the finale we dimmed the lights, eschewed the guests, and had some real-talk about our lives, our hopes, our dreams, and the various ways we make ourselves miserable. Also we type like 7 million reviews, because we made a promise.
Bethany will miss helping you guys. Richard will miss being known by you. Both of them will miss making a show with each other. We’re not going to beat around the bush here. Bethany and Richard are sad about this.
BUT - the next season of No Chill Enneagram will be here before you know it, like a budding rose on a bright summer day, which i dunno if that’s a real thing but they are nice words that I strung together.
Anyway. Watch this space. Next season you’ll have a role to play beyond giving us stars so we type you.
In the meantime, take the time to seek out some other podcasts, like: The MillEnneagram for Idiots and Coffee Journey (Typology). We hear it’s ok.
Apr 09, 201901:01:43
Finale Pt 1: THIS WAS NOT A DUMB IDEA FOR A PODCAST!!
The Enneapocalypse has begun. It's the final count-down before we rebuild again for season 2.
It's the end of the NCE world as we know it, at least for now, and we feel fine. Or at least, we'd like to convince ourselves we do. In reality, we're freaking out a little bit, not the least of which because we still have something like a MILLION reviews to type in one single season finale.
ALSO: we need to catch up with all of our new friends we've made this season! So we spend time talking to our own artist extraordinaire Matt Metcalf, and our podcast frenemies from The Enneacast, Jesse Eubanks and Samantha Stevenson.
OH AND DON'T FORGET: We need to give one more F-U to the enneathought, because come on guys, you're just messing with us aren't you
Augh, and we wanted to have all these deep convos about what we've learned and and and and... ok well we'll just have to save the rest for part two.
We're not ready to let go quite yet, so enjoy part one of an epic sign-off.
It's the end of the NCE world as we know it, at least for now, and we feel fine. Or at least, we'd like to convince ourselves we do. In reality, we're freaking out a little bit, not the least of which because we still have something like a MILLION reviews to type in one single season finale.
ALSO: we need to catch up with all of our new friends we've made this season! So we spend time talking to our own artist extraordinaire Matt Metcalf, and our podcast frenemies from The Enneacast, Jesse Eubanks and Samantha Stevenson.
OH AND DON'T FORGET: We need to give one more F-U to the enneathought, because come on guys, you're just messing with us aren't you
Augh, and we wanted to have all these deep convos about what we've learned and and and and... ok well we'll just have to save the rest for part two.
We're not ready to let go quite yet, so enjoy part one of an epic sign-off.
Mar 06, 201901:16:12
9: I HAVE STRONG OPINIONS BUT THEY ARE A SECRET!!
Maybe you’ve heard of Sleeping At Last. He’s kind of a big deal, and HE HAS A NAME THANK YOU VERY MUCH. It’s Ryan.
Anyway, Ryan was relieved to find out our show is not very serious, so we cornered him and forced him to rail against the Transformers movies, which he absolutely did not do to an adequate degree.
STILL: There’s a lot of fun stuff in this episode, like a deep conversation about what it’s like to be a successful, artistic, productive nine, and what it feels like to have your songs featured on, like, a billion episodes of Grey’s Anatomy.
ALSO: We know you’re anxious to hear Ryan’s song about 8s, so we gave him a little help and wrote the lyrics for him. He was astounded by our artistic prowess.
Listen to this episode, then go listen to Sleeping At Last some more, then come back and listen to this episode again, then go listen to Sleeping At Last one more time, then listen to your mother on the phone, she misses you, then listen to this podcast again.
Anyway, Ryan was relieved to find out our show is not very serious, so we cornered him and forced him to rail against the Transformers movies, which he absolutely did not do to an adequate degree.
STILL: There’s a lot of fun stuff in this episode, like a deep conversation about what it’s like to be a successful, artistic, productive nine, and what it feels like to have your songs featured on, like, a billion episodes of Grey’s Anatomy.
ALSO: We know you’re anxious to hear Ryan’s song about 8s, so we gave him a little help and wrote the lyrics for him. He was astounded by our artistic prowess.
Listen to this episode, then go listen to Sleeping At Last some more, then come back and listen to this episode again, then go listen to Sleeping At Last one more time, then listen to your mother on the phone, she misses you, then listen to this podcast again.
Feb 01, 201901:11:58
8: I'M PISSED, SOMEONE GET ME A PUPPY!!!!
If you know who Chris Heuertz is, you are the right amount of obsessed with the enneagram. You will also be shocked to hear that he voluntarily guested on No Chill Enneagram. We can't explain it either. The enneagram works in mysterious ways.
When you have someone as wise as Heuertz, you ask the important questions like "The enneagram is so hot right now, how annoying is that??" and "How can we become enneagram experts, in like the next 5 minutes, and could you get us a certificate or something?"
PLUS: Chris explains why the number we ranked lowest in our first episode (so sorry) gets a bad rap.
AND: We give Chris the opportunity to take over the show. Does he embrace unchecked power? Let's find out together...
YOU WON'T BELIEVE: Chris types reviews with us, and masterfully so. Oh, and he says enneagram slang can happen, so that settles that.
When you have someone as wise as Heuertz, you ask the important questions like "The enneagram is so hot right now, how annoying is that??" and "How can we become enneagram experts, in like the next 5 minutes, and could you get us a certificate or something?"
PLUS: Chris explains why the number we ranked lowest in our first episode (so sorry) gets a bad rap.
AND: We give Chris the opportunity to take over the show. Does he embrace unchecked power? Let's find out together...
YOU WON'T BELIEVE: Chris types reviews with us, and masterfully so. Oh, and he says enneagram slang can happen, so that settles that.
Jan 11, 201957:56
THE 2018 NO CHILL ENNEAWARDS!!!!
If there’s one thing the enneagram community was missing, it’s an arbitrary and misguided awards show. But don’t worry! Richard is a 4, so he’s all about finding what’s missing and trying in misguided ways to fill that unfillable void.
So here we are: the inaugural No Chill Enneawards!
This episode, we unveil a new logo, and we bring on the person who created that masterpiece! Our favorite third wheel, Matt Metcalf, joins us to pick apart the nominees for awards like “Best Type 3 of 2018,” “Most Chill,” and “Best Enneagram Twitter Gif Account.”
Give it a listen, and expect to explode with rage and/or frustration at your favorite famous person being slighted for something that never really mattered in the first place!
(especially if you’re very invested in Taylor Swift)
So here we are: the inaugural No Chill Enneawards!
This episode, we unveil a new logo, and we bring on the person who created that masterpiece! Our favorite third wheel, Matt Metcalf, joins us to pick apart the nominees for awards like “Best Type 3 of 2018,” “Most Chill,” and “Best Enneagram Twitter Gif Account.”
Give it a listen, and expect to explode with rage and/or frustration at your favorite famous person being slighted for something that never really mattered in the first place!
(especially if you’re very invested in Taylor Swift)
Dec 31, 201801:17:48
No Chill Enneagram Saves Christmas!!!!
No Chill Enneagram is here to end the war on Christmas once and for all!!
This week, Bethany drops in on the Clark household IN THE FLESH, you know, just for fun, all the way from Portland. They hang out and build snowmen and then record a podcast or two together.
They're joined by Richard's wife, Jennifer, the 6 in the house to discuss the holiday season.
We also read Christmas ennea-grams from our listeners, guaranteed to warm the cockles of your heart, which isn't as gross as it sounds.
Also, yes, we went there: we typed Santa. The answer is definitive.
ANNNNNND: We type Christmas traditions. You'll never guess what a gingerbread house is.
PLUS: The enneagram gift guide!
FINALLY: Need help surviving the season? We've put our heads together to come up with some good ways for each number to survive.
We're going to get through this, together.
This week, Bethany drops in on the Clark household IN THE FLESH, you know, just for fun, all the way from Portland. They hang out and build snowmen and then record a podcast or two together.
They're joined by Richard's wife, Jennifer, the 6 in the house to discuss the holiday season.
We also read Christmas ennea-grams from our listeners, guaranteed to warm the cockles of your heart, which isn't as gross as it sounds.
Also, yes, we went there: we typed Santa. The answer is definitive.
ANNNNNND: We type Christmas traditions. You'll never guess what a gingerbread house is.
PLUS: The enneagram gift guide!
FINALLY: Need help surviving the season? We've put our heads together to come up with some good ways for each number to survive.
We're going to get through this, together.
Dec 12, 201801:09:11
7: I'M NOT FLIRTING WITH YOU, I'M JUST BEING NICE!! GOSH!!!
This week, we talk to musician and enneagram 7, Jonny Barahona (pronounced... beautifully), about what it's like to be the life of the party, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT. WE'RE TAKING EVERYONE AND GOING TO KARAOKE AND YOU CAN JUST DEAL WITH IT, CHERYL!! AND IF YOU TELL ME TO GET SOME REST ONE MORE TIME I'M NEVER COMING TO YOUR BACHELORETTE FINALE PARTY AGAIN!
PLUS: Remember back when Bethany and Joy Beth decided 2s should NEVER date 4s? Well two can play at that game. Guess what number 7s should never date????
AND: We do some weird stuff, just to mess with Jonny. Silence, Sports, So on.
BUT FIRST: The Stairwell Saga. Gripping!
PLUS: Remember back when Bethany and Joy Beth decided 2s should NEVER date 4s? Well two can play at that game. Guess what number 7s should never date????
AND: We do some weird stuff, just to mess with Jonny. Silence, Sports, So on.
BUT FIRST: The Stairwell Saga. Gripping!
Nov 22, 201801:00:00
6: THE WORLD IS ON FIRE AND I'M JUST TRYING TO KEEP EVERYONE ALIVE!!
This week, the dynamic enneaduo welcome Emily Lund, a six who keeps moving to new places all by herself, which means she's up for a challenge, that's for sure!
PLUS: The news is killing us all. We run down how each number can cope with a brutal news cycle.
AND: Yeah, we did that - we ranked the enneagram numbers again, this time on a scale of most to least trustworthy! This stuff is important, someone's got to do it.
FINALLY: We figured out why 50% of the earth's population are 6s! Tune in to find out!
NO BUT FINALLY FOR REAL NOW: Probably that statistic is totally false, if we had to guess. We think some monk somewhere made it up just to mess with us.
PLUS: The news is killing us all. We run down how each number can cope with a brutal news cycle.
AND: Yeah, we did that - we ranked the enneagram numbers again, this time on a scale of most to least trustworthy! This stuff is important, someone's got to do it.
FINALLY: We figured out why 50% of the earth's population are 6s! Tune in to find out!
NO BUT FINALLY FOR REAL NOW: Probably that statistic is totally false, if we had to guess. We think some monk somewhere made it up just to mess with us.
Nov 08, 201801:09:54
THERE'S A BIBLE TRANSLATION FOR EVERY NUMBER!!
You guys! We’re getting paid to do this!
This week, thanks to Lifeway.com, we spend a bonus episode typing bible translations. The NIV! ESV! CSB! NKJV! KJV! All of these are assigned to enneagram types! Just like God intended!
PLUS: Bethany has an extremely awkward neighborly encounter! Richard tells a story about hiding in the bathroom!
Lifeway.com has a bunch of awesome Bible translations and is always running great sales on Bible editions. In fact, at Lifeway.com all CSB Study Bibles are 50% off until October 29th, and all Study Bibles are 36% off through the end of the year! That’s a lot of percents!
You should probably get yourself a Bible to match your type.
This week, thanks to Lifeway.com, we spend a bonus episode typing bible translations. The NIV! ESV! CSB! NKJV! KJV! All of these are assigned to enneagram types! Just like God intended!
PLUS: Bethany has an extremely awkward neighborly encounter! Richard tells a story about hiding in the bathroom!
Lifeway.com has a bunch of awesome Bible translations and is always running great sales on Bible editions. In fact, at Lifeway.com all CSB Study Bibles are 50% off until October 29th, and all Study Bibles are 36% off through the end of the year! That’s a lot of percents!
You should probably get yourself a Bible to match your type.
Oct 25, 201818:32
7 OR 8: WHY IS EVERYONE INTIMIDATED BY MY FUN-LOVING NATURE?!?!
This week, we welcome Barnabas Piper. We call him Barn, but you may not, sir. He prefers to go by "John Piper’s son."
Barnabas has a dillema. He's not sure if he's an enthusiast or a challenger. Meanwhile all of his friends and family members are like "seriously??" giving each other the side eye with their arms crossed, tapping their feet like sonic the hedgehog, because they all TOTALLY know.
Anyway, we pull the blinders from his eyes and show him the truth. What is it? Tune in to find out.
ALSO: We type denominations!
PLUS: We get to the bottom of the age old No Chill Enneagram question - why is our audience mostly ladies? What's the deal with that? Am i right, BROS?
AND: You know those friends who just HATE the enneagram? We show you how to type them against their will with a list of ways each type rejects the gram.
AND OF COURSE BECAUSE WE HAD TO: We type John Piper, Barnabas' dad, finally and definitively. We officially know him better than he knows himself, probably.
Listen to Barn's podcast, The Happy Rant, and follow him on Twitter: @BarnabasPiper
Barnabas has a dillema. He's not sure if he's an enthusiast or a challenger. Meanwhile all of his friends and family members are like "seriously??" giving each other the side eye with their arms crossed, tapping their feet like sonic the hedgehog, because they all TOTALLY know.
Anyway, we pull the blinders from his eyes and show him the truth. What is it? Tune in to find out.
ALSO: We type denominations!
PLUS: We get to the bottom of the age old No Chill Enneagram question - why is our audience mostly ladies? What's the deal with that? Am i right, BROS?
AND: You know those friends who just HATE the enneagram? We show you how to type them against their will with a list of ways each type rejects the gram.
AND OF COURSE BECAUSE WE HAD TO: We type John Piper, Barnabas' dad, finally and definitively. We officially know him better than he knows himself, probably.
Listen to Barn's podcast, The Happy Rant, and follow him on Twitter: @BarnabasPiper
Oct 17, 201801:06:22
9&4: MY DOG GOES TO 1 IN STRESS!!
This week’s guests need no introduction, except that they do because until now they’ve been ANONYMOUS. This week we’re unmasking the brilliant minds behind The Enneadog, everyone’s favorite Enneagram meme factory.
We find out how their insane experiment got its start, how it helps keep them sane in the midst of being barraged by Totally Legit But Still Hurtful Criticism of their work, and of course we talk about dogs.
Oh, and we force them to explain how in the world they got EnneaQueen Susanne Stabille to follow them, AND reply to their tweets and can they put in a good word for us please etc??
ALSO A SPECIAL SERVICE: We tell each number what kind of dog they need.
FINALLY: The best internet gifs, TYPED! It’s the thing you didn’t know you wanted, but it exists now and you do want it, it turns out.
Follow the Enneadog Twitter account at @enneadog (duh).
We find out how their insane experiment got its start, how it helps keep them sane in the midst of being barraged by Totally Legit But Still Hurtful Criticism of their work, and of course we talk about dogs.
Oh, and we force them to explain how in the world they got EnneaQueen Susanne Stabille to follow them, AND reply to their tweets and can they put in a good word for us please etc??
ALSO A SPECIAL SERVICE: We tell each number what kind of dog they need.
FINALLY: The best internet gifs, TYPED! It’s the thing you didn’t know you wanted, but it exists now and you do want it, it turns out.
Follow the Enneadog Twitter account at @enneadog (duh).
Oct 03, 201801:11:17
5: IT TAKES MONTHS OF RESEARCH TO DECIDE ON SOME DANG EARRINGS!!!!
It's the long-awaited 5 episode! This week, we welcome our special very guest, Shannon Whitehead. She Works In Content. You probably wouldn't understand.
Shannon is a 5, so we force her to hand over the reigns of her life to us, so we can make some decisions for her that she's been putting off.
BUT DID YOU KNOW: that Shannon is a crime documentary buff? We put her expertise to good use and recommend a crime documentary for Every Number! Even 6s, but that's just a thought exercise because 6s SHOULD NEVER WATCH A CRIME DOCUMENTARY OK.
ALSO: We determine how every number would get away with doing crimes. SO DARK!
There's so much more, but we don't want to pressure you. Think long and hard about whether it's a good idea to press play.
Take your time.
We'll wait.
Shannon is a 5, so we force her to hand over the reigns of her life to us, so we can make some decisions for her that she's been putting off.
BUT DID YOU KNOW: that Shannon is a crime documentary buff? We put her expertise to good use and recommend a crime documentary for Every Number! Even 6s, but that's just a thought exercise because 6s SHOULD NEVER WATCH A CRIME DOCUMENTARY OK.
ALSO: We determine how every number would get away with doing crimes. SO DARK!
There's so much more, but we don't want to pressure you. Think long and hard about whether it's a good idea to press play.
Take your time.
We'll wait.
Sep 26, 201801:04:38
WE NEED SOME INTEGRATION TIME!!
We're taking a break. See you next week!
AND: That's it.
ALSO: Bye.
PLUS: The end.
AND: That's it.
ALSO: Bye.
PLUS: The end.
Sep 19, 201806:29
0, 2, 6, 5: MY FAMILY REFUSES TO GET ON MY ENNEAGRAM LEVEL!!!!
This week, Richard and Bethany welcome their family to the podcast to discuss the ways their enneagram obsession has impacted the lives of those closest to them. There’s nothing bad about their obsession at all! Everyone just loves it without any qualms or rolling eyes!! Even Bethany’s psychologist dad just can’t get enough of that good old enneagram wisdom!
(jk her dad hates what the enneagram has done to his family, but he still hate-listens to our podcast EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK. What the heck dad??)
Step right up and take a listen for: A DOG. A TODDLER. A MOM. A BROTHER’S TELLING ABSENCE. A WIFE. A FATHER WITH A RADIO VOICE.
SO MANY SEGMENTS: How bad has it gotten! Safety tips for every number! Life advice from an ACTUAL professional!
(jk her dad hates what the enneagram has done to his family, but he still hate-listens to our podcast EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK. What the heck dad??)
Step right up and take a listen for: A DOG. A TODDLER. A MOM. A BROTHER’S TELLING ABSENCE. A WIFE. A FATHER WITH A RADIO VOICE.
SO MANY SEGMENTS: How bad has it gotten! Safety tips for every number! Life advice from an ACTUAL professional!
Sep 12, 201801:10:38
3w2: MY BABY DOESN'T CARE ABOUT MY ACHIEVEMENTS!!!!
This week, we welcome Writer of Stuff
Laura Turner (my mom pronounces it "Laura Turnah", probably) to the show to talk about why 3s don't get "performance anxiety" and how motherhood can be a giant enneagram 3 buzzkill.
(Don't worry, she's very happy and loves her baby, chill ok)
AND WHOAH THIS TOO: We're all going to die, in 1 of 9 ways. What way will YOU die? We tell every number the answer to that overly broad and morbid question.
ALSO: The moment you've all been waiting for unless you haven't - we type Harry Potter characters!
AND ALSO FEATURING: Richard's favorite enneagram slang yet. Bethany will learn to love it.
Follow Laura on twitter, where she is pretty good at tweeting: @lkoturner
Laura Turner (my mom pronounces it "Laura Turnah", probably) to the show to talk about why 3s don't get "performance anxiety" and how motherhood can be a giant enneagram 3 buzzkill.
(Don't worry, she's very happy and loves her baby, chill ok)
AND WHOAH THIS TOO: We're all going to die, in 1 of 9 ways. What way will YOU die? We tell every number the answer to that overly broad and morbid question.
ALSO: The moment you've all been waiting for unless you haven't - we type Harry Potter characters!
AND ALSO FEATURING: Richard's favorite enneagram slang yet. Bethany will learn to love it.
Follow Laura on twitter, where she is pretty good at tweeting: @lkoturner
Sep 05, 201848:16
4&9: COLLABORATION WITH A FOUR IS WAY TOO INTENSE!!
Did you see the white smoke? The earth tilt on its axis? The double rainbow? All sure signs that two forces have collided, merged, and become one insurmountable force, capable of dominating the enneagram podcast space for at least one week (and that's about it really).
This week, the hosts of the Enneacast, Jesse Eubanks and Sam Stevenson join Richard and Bethany in theory to commiserate about how crazy collaboration between numbers can be. In reality, they help out with a little co-collaborator counseling. Bethany and Richard are doing much better now, thanks.
PLUS: How many of the Enneacast's "Ten Rules for the Enneagram" have Bethany and Richard broken? The answer will not shock you!
AND AND AND: Circles with stuff in them are related to the occult, every time. We discuss what that means for clocks, and people wearing pants with buttons. It's trouble, I tell ya.
This week, the hosts of the Enneacast, Jesse Eubanks and Sam Stevenson join Richard and Bethany in theory to commiserate about how crazy collaboration between numbers can be. In reality, they help out with a little co-collaborator counseling. Bethany and Richard are doing much better now, thanks.
PLUS: How many of the Enneacast's "Ten Rules for the Enneagram" have Bethany and Richard broken? The answer will not shock you!
AND AND AND: Circles with stuff in them are related to the occult, every time. We discuss what that means for clocks, and people wearing pants with buttons. It's trouble, I tell ya.
Aug 29, 201801:01:08
4: MY FRIENDS HAVE TO DEAL WITH MY FEELS!!
This week, fours find redemption and enact revenge. It's a dramatic episode of twists in turns. Writer, mother, and Ennienum 4 Alia Joy helps us think through the pros and cons of FEELS and comiserates with Richard about the precarious blessing of oversharing.
AND: In a feel-good segment, we consider which childhood wound we might give our children!!
FURTHERMORE: We type The Office Characters!
Alia's EXTREMELY FOUR book is available here: www.amazon.com/dp/0801093341/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_awdb_t1_x_A1-CBbY5ZKHWE
IN ADDITION TO: We offer parenting advice for literally every number ever devised by enneagram scribes!
PROGRAMMING NOTE: Dear enneafam, we will not have an episode for you next week, because Richard is going to the beach, but check the Instagram (@NoChillEnneagram) for pictures of Richard having fun without you.
AND: In a feel-good segment, we consider which childhood wound we might give our children!!
FURTHERMORE: We type The Office Characters!
Alia's EXTREMELY FOUR book is available here: www.amazon.com/dp/0801093341/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_awdb_t1_x_A1-CBbY5ZKHWE
IN ADDITION TO: We offer parenting advice for literally every number ever devised by enneagram scribes!
PROGRAMMING NOTE: Dear enneafam, we will not have an episode for you next week, because Richard is going to the beach, but check the Instagram (@NoChillEnneagram) for pictures of Richard having fun without you.
Aug 15, 201801:08:06
NO ONE SHOULD TYPE MR ROGERS! WE'RE DOING IT ANYWAY!!
This week we brought back our inaugural guest D.L. Mayfield (or Danielle for those who have no personal boundaries and want to call her by her informal name) on the show to speculate wildly about the inner workings of everyone’s favorite Public Broadcasting Service Superstar. It’s not a regular show, but we just needed a little bit of a break, so we nerded out about this for a while and are now offering it to you in the hopes that you’ll find it FASCINATING. I know we did.
If you’ve seen the documentary, you’ll be right at home here, but even if you haven’t you probably know and love Mr. Rogers, and if not, YOU MONSTER PLEASE DON’T LISTEN TO OUR PODCAST.
ALSO: That’s it. That’s all we did. Except the part where Danielle gives us an update on the feedback she received for ranking the enneagram numbers. Danielle, we can't believe you did that, what a terrible idea, gosh.
PLUS: Nothing else. Sorry. See you next week!
BTW: the song in the background in the middle of the show is called Turbo Giant by someone called Wankers United, which is of course just hilarious to us.
If you’ve seen the documentary, you’ll be right at home here, but even if you haven’t you probably know and love Mr. Rogers, and if not, YOU MONSTER PLEASE DON’T LISTEN TO OUR PODCAST.
ALSO: That’s it. That’s all we did. Except the part where Danielle gives us an update on the feedback she received for ranking the enneagram numbers. Danielle, we can't believe you did that, what a terrible idea, gosh.
PLUS: Nothing else. Sorry. See you next week!
BTW: the song in the background in the middle of the show is called Turbo Giant by someone called Wankers United, which is of course just hilarious to us.
Aug 08, 201835:41
3: YOU WANT ME TO SHARE MY FAILURES WITH EVERYONE??!!
This week, Bethany and Richard welcome Katelyn Beaty onto the show. Richard used to work with her when she was managing editor over at Christianity Today. Now, he's trying to get her to confess her failures on a podcast. Look how far they've come!
Katelyn, author of the book "A Woman's Place", discusses her desire for her good work to be seen and the struggle to lay low.
BUT THERE'S MORE: We Type Thought Leaders.
AND: I think we might really make enneagram slang happen this time you guys.
IN ADDITION: Katelyn tells Every Single Number exactly how to succeed in life. Who needs Tony Robbins!!
Katelyn's brilliantly named book is available here: https://www.amazon.com/Womans-Place-Christian-Vision-Calling/dp/1476794154/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1533091429&sr=8-1&keywords=katelyn+beaty
You should buy it because not only is it great but also she had to do one of those controversial Jonathan Merritt reviews in order to promote it.
Here she is on twitter: https://twitter.com/KatelynBeaty
Aug 01, 201858:09
2: I CRAVE INTIMACY AND I HAVE NO HUSBAND!!
This week, prolific Twitter presence and author of "Party of One: Truth, Longing, and the Subtle Art of Singleness" Joy Beth Smith discusses what it's like to date as a 2, and what she has in common with that lady from Fatal Attraction (honestly we kinda just glossed over that one, but see if you can figure it out).
PLUS: The one number a 2 should never marry, unless of course Joy Beth and Bethany's personal experience is not all-encompassing.
AND: We offer dating tips for every number!
Also, we type Parks and Rec characters, we actually try to make enneagram slang happen this time, and MOORE!
No seriously, Russell Moore is apparently a 4 and Richard is FREAKING OUT!
Follow JB on Twitter: https://twitter.com/JBsTwoCents
BUY JB'S BOOK JUST DO IT OK: https://www.amazon.com/Party-One-Longing-Subtle-Singleness/dp/0718094050/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1532484691&sr=8-1&keywords=party+of+one+joy+beth+smith
Jul 25, 201850:26
1: MY INNER CRITIC WON'T LET ME MAKE FRIENDS!!
In our first official episode, our guest D.L. Mayfield (we call her Danielle, but you may not, sir) shares how she went from identifying as a 4 to accepting with some chagrin that she's actually a 1. It turns out, it's not just about having a clean room.
Also, we rank the enneagram numbers from best to worst. You're not supposed to do that, but come on. Someone needs to, and an Enneagram 1 is the only number on the gram who can do so objectively.
PLUS: typing evangelical nostalgia, trouble making friends as a 1, and self-care ideas for every number.
Check out Mayfield's podcast, Prophetic Imagination Station: soundcloud.com/propheticimaginationstation
Also, we rank the enneagram numbers from best to worst. You're not supposed to do that, but come on. Someone needs to, and an Enneagram 1 is the only number on the gram who can do so objectively.
PLUS: typing evangelical nostalgia, trouble making friends as a 1, and self-care ideas for every number.
Check out Mayfield's podcast, Prophetic Imagination Station: soundcloud.com/propheticimaginationstation
Jul 16, 201857:27
0: WHAT IS THIS SHOW AND WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!
In our introductory episode, Richard Clark and Bethany Perkins are forced to truly grapple with the nature of their commitment.
What sort of madness leads two relative strangers to start a podcast together and talk about the enneagram with relentless passion and sincerity with their favorite people as guests?
Tune in to find out. (Hint: it's Enneagram Madness)
Richard’s Interview with Ian and Suzanne on “The Calling”: www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2016/october-web-only/what-does-enneagram-have-to-offer-christians.html
Bethany’s episode of “Fun Sexy Bible Time” where she talks about the Enneagram: soundcloud.com/funsexybibletime/perk-city-attempts-to-enneagram-matthewep-62
What sort of madness leads two relative strangers to start a podcast together and talk about the enneagram with relentless passion and sincerity with their favorite people as guests?
Tune in to find out. (Hint: it's Enneagram Madness)
Richard’s Interview with Ian and Suzanne on “The Calling”: www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2016/october-web-only/what-does-enneagram-have-to-offer-christians.html
Bethany’s episode of “Fun Sexy Bible Time” where she talks about the Enneagram: soundcloud.com/funsexybibletime/perk-city-attempts-to-enneagram-matthewep-62
Jul 14, 201814:06