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No Such Thing As Love

No Such Thing As Love

By JawBurns
Terminally single comedians, Jessie Jolles & Claire Burns, no longer believe love exists. Thankfully for us, they’re selflessly in the trenches dating to prove they are right. Laugh with them while they regale us with their dating woes and bring on special guests like a dating coach to dissect their profiles, an ex to explain what went wrong, fellow comedians to share their stories of dating, and actual blind dates that happen in the studio. Listen each week to see what new evidence they’ll have that love will never exist for them.
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The Study Shows with Marisa T Cohen

No Such Thing As Love

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For Our Health
Jessie and Claire are really focused on their health and that's why they're having sex with strangers and considering smoking cigarettes. This week, the ladies talk about butt stuff, a slip of the finger, and wiping. Also, their latest FaceTime dates, seeing ghosts, the hottie Bachelor, bunnies, and their new favorite holiday that's right around the corner, National Nothing Day.
1:02:58
January 13, 2021
We Are Fashion
After a binge watch of Stylish with Jenna Lyons, the ladies are rebirthed like phoenix rising from the athleisure ashes. They are now fashion. And with their new prestige, they're ready to get back on the apps. Jessie leaves Mr Bagel behind as she bounces back with Bumble. Claire wades through Feeld for her next escapade after revisiting an old flame. They laugh about their flirting differences and long for the next time they can pretend they're going to go up to a guy in a bar.
1:03:50
January 6, 2021
Hacky Sackin' New Year
That's a wrap on 2020 and maybe a wrap on Mr Bagel? Jessie shares the latest in her relationship status and Claire unwraps the heavy emotional discoveries she had while visiting the Covid capital, Tennessee. Jessie questions Claire's athletic ability and Claire warns Jessie to not put too many expectations on the coming year. They both share a few resolutions for 2021 and decide it's going to be a very good, not great, year. Setting some real expectations.
1:24:47
December 30, 2020
Naughty and Nice
Reporting from the Hurt Hole, Jessie gives us as update after she was flying high with optimism last week. Claire's delicate constitution required she take a quick break from her walkabout. Then the ladies decide who and what from the year deserves lumps of coal or bunches of candy canes in their cool new clogs. Can you guess who gets the coal out of Taylor Swift, reality TV, and sexting? Listen to find out.
1:07:56
December 23, 2020
New Attitudes
Occasionally we have to spiral to the bottom to see a new perspective and that's exactly what Jessie needed to do. Jessie and Claire talk about her effort to understand both sides of a situation and switching from dating mode to relationship mode. Claire shares an update on the first pitstop in her sexual walkabout. It felt like a time warp during their conversation and not because it flowed easily. Sometimes you have to put in the work for a semi-ok time.
1:44:04
December 16, 2020
Sexual Walkabout
Pack up your trail mix, water bottle, & condoms; it's time for a sexual walkabout! Claire decided she can't handle the emotional labor of dating right now but she does have some homework to do in the bedroom. The ladies get down and dirty about their intimate history and emotional detachment from doing the deed. Jessie is also figuring out how to manage disappointment while appreciating the growth it forces. And they wonder if a lot of their intimacy issues were caused from both of their mothers whisper spelling S.E.X. in their formative years.
1:41:28
December 9, 2020
Ready for Our Meet Cute with writer Lana Schwartz
Tis the season for meet cutes, grand gestures, and unrealistic expectations. The ladies are joined by Build Your Own Romantic Comedy author, Lana Schwartz to dish all about the genre we love and love to hate. But first, Jessie and Claire chat about being an angry host, dressing for yourself, and popping delusional dreams. Claire is also positive she has toxoplasmosis so she can't be held responsible for her poor decisions. 
1:18:01
December 2, 2020
Temperature Change
Tis the season to be thankful. But before that, Jessie & Claire chat sweater collections, exes returning, being left behind, Mr Bagel’s prophecy text, and then 3 things they’re thankful for.
1:22:19
November 25, 2020
Time and a Half
It may be a shock to know but other people's behavior is not a direct attack on you. We told you it was shocking! Even knowing that, it's hard to calm our triggers. Jessie and Claire discuss their triggers while figuring out communication styles, rewiring everyone's brains about period sex, trips down memory lane, borrowing pens, and relishing the sexy pick up.
1:37:08
November 18, 2020
Pick A Spiral Any Spiral
Neither Jessie nor Claire like amusement parks so last week's rollercoaster exhausted them. Thankfully they had plenty of emotions to keep them busy. Claire gives an update on her new flirtation and turned up the volume on her old broken record. Jessie tossed in a few spirals last week to keep things fun with her new guy. They chat about meeting the parents, spare toothbrushes, and making a little effort to show you care. 
1:05:26
November 11, 2020
What's Hope Got To With It
On the precipice of the election and distant from a euphoric weekend, Jessie and Claire have been feeling a little uncertain and out of sorts lately. But that doesn't stop them from talking about the most important subject, them. They look at past behaviors that can hurt their future relationships, dissect communication styles that cause spirals, and talk about how "disappointment is the penalty for hope but planning on failing isn't a better options."
53:19
November 4, 2020
Making Bagels
Nothing like a little gluten and dairy to get you in the mood. Jessie shares all the juicy details of her recent weekend rendezvous with T-shirt. There was a marble sculpture, a Ghost pottery moment, and actual arm in arm strolling in public. Claire continues to have communication issues but immediately falls for a guy who likes Bell Biv Devoe. Pop culture nostalgia is Claire's kryptonite. Both of the ladies remind you to VOTE! Check Vote411.org for voting information in your area. 
1:21:57
October 28, 2020
Swathing Time
There’s some pep in the ladies’ steps this week. Claire talks about her mingling adventure IRL with tall guys. Jessie gives a breakdown of her very slow paced yet too cute to handle dating. They also chat about the excitement you feel when a connection is made with pop culture common knowledge. And then question how they remain friends since the only pop culture cross over they have is SATC and Friends.
1:13:33
October 21, 2020
Gift with Purchase
Watch out guys, Claire is back on the apps! But she may get overwhelmed and tired so have patience. Meanwhile, Jessie is going tshirt shopping and returning to her long time love, diners, with her “long distant” guy. Between medical grade ventilation and giggly park hangs, they know they’re going to have fun.
49:08
October 14, 2020
Bobbing for Boyfriends
That crisp fall air gets Jessie and Claire in the mood. If the leaves are falling, so are they. Jessie’s latest date made her question her gut, Claire was finally able to hold court again, and they both don’t think you should bike to a date. You stink. They also revisit the old tradition of bobbing for apples where the apples represented crushes and the drowned rat look represented your dignity.
59:10
October 7, 2020
What's Age
Jessie and Claire catch up after vacation and discuss walruses eating popsicles, surprise attractions, how tv killed the motivator, backwards hats, and blaming Seinfeld for poor dating. The ladies remind you to confirm your voting plan and check your local ballot! 
1:01:01
September 30, 2020
Battle of the Toxics
The ladies are on high alert after Claire spent hours binging on a few true crime docuseries (I'll be Gone in the Dark, Love Fraud, The Vow) and Jessie was catfished on her latest date. Then the ladies talk about playing with toxic fire and how shared concern can be just as triggering from a friend. 
1:11:19
September 23, 2020
Calves & Boobs Forever
Remember when flirting meant trying to make someone jealous by telling endless stories about other people liking you? It clearly was very successful. So thankfully Jessie’s most recent date used this #throwbackflirtation. Claire had a second date with her professional which sparks a conversation about boobs and dressing their bodies. Claire has also discovered a new diagnosis: Revenge Bedtime Procrastination. Now that her behavior has a name, she accepts her syndrome and asks that you respect her privacy in this time.
1:03:22
September 16, 2020
Will Talk For Touch
It’s Jessie’s birthday! The ladies reminisce about old birthday traditions (Who is going to carry me?!) before jumping in to chat about Jessie’s recent chatty dates and Claire’s latest paid professional who gently touched her. Sometimes it’s just easier to throw money at a problem. No judgement. We all have to get it where we can.
1:13:10
September 9, 2020
Famously Makes Mistakes
Jessie is redoing her 20s by driving to a date for the first time. Claire remembers a troubling BJ shot taken with a friend's mom. They both feel seen in an article by Tara Blair Bell, 6 Mistakes Single Women That Want a Relationship Make. 
1:05:20
September 2, 2020
Look At This Photograph
Do you ask an online match their last name? Do you google your date before you meet? Do you also not trust anyone without a sweet tooth? After diving into this week's dates, Jessie and Claire celebrate their love and distaste for photos and explore self talk and body dysmorphia. With all the uncertainties these days, they decide to just focus on winning one day at a time. 
1:44:06
August 26, 2020
Vibe Check
Heroes don't always wear capes. Nor do they live up to their name for long. Jessie and Claire talk about the latest with Jessie's good date, being discovered while covered in your own feces, when you get rejected from a make out, their hot takes on a listener's question, and trick to being the life of every college party. Two words: keg stand.
1:00:06
August 19, 2020
Sugar Packets and Cellulite
Jessie and Claire got vulnerable this week. One emotionally and one physically. They chat about making out in cars, parents driving you to a date, wearing thongs, and losing an FWB.
1:17:06
August 12, 2020
Failing at Phone Sex
They may play parts in their profession but role playing in the bedroom is a different story. Jessie and Claire talk about a recent failed phone sex attempt, making eyes and snap judgements, erotic beard pics, Indian Matchmaker, and euthanized monkeys. If you have any questions (or compliments to give), please reach out on instagram (@nosuchthingasloveshow) or nosuchthingasloveshow@gmail.com. 
1:06:10
August 5, 2020
I Don't Know
With Jessie back home and Claire’s family wanting her to move home, the ladies reflect on things they’ve learned, discuss what brings them joy these days, and of course, gab about the guy who recently ghosted. They sign off with a love letter to New York. While she’s tough as nails, she’s got the warmest hug of them all.
1:04:41
July 29, 2020
Cancel or Show the F Up
The ladies are back together again! During a quick trip back to the city, Jessie heads over to Claire's to chat about their recent escapades, a magic cardigan, flattery from old crushes, New York energy, hard pen15, deciding if you're a hockey goalie or a Walmart greeter, and being faced with how much alone time they're able to handle. 
1:41:16
July 22, 2020
Smack Dab in the Mirror
Jessie went on a masked date. Claire falls even harder for a man on her TV. They both talk about the assumptions and judgement we make when meeting people which can be very dangerous. Then they answer a listener's email about a concern over personal challenges and how they play into a new relationship. 
1:09:13
July 15, 2020
Not the Chillest of Years with Vanessa Hardy
What a year it is. Astrologer Vanessa Hardy is back to talk about the year that's been and will continue to be. Jessie and Claire find some reassurance in what this time means for them but understand the rollercoaster isn't over. Before they look to the stars, the ladies talk about new online matches and their new favorite reality show, Labor of Love.
1:21:18
July 8, 2020
Embracing Farts
Jessie and Claire's dating styles have reached extremes. From sexting with strangers to letting dust collect on viable matches. They also chat about relationship milestones like the first nighttime routine in front of them or the first time you shove a 12 inch sub down the hatch. Bottom line, Jessie and Claire are looking for someone who will celebrate their farts.
55:06
July 1, 2020
Dats Me!
Jessie's busy swiping through the local inventory now that she's home and has found a few text buddies who are unapologetically themselves. Claire is learning to flirt with her mask on while feeling flirty and fun in the City. They also talk about getting svelte since they just applied for Love is Blind!
55:02
June 24, 2020
69ing The Musical
What happens when you want a friend to go on walks with and they turn into a sexter? You talk about it on your podcast. Jessie and Claire share their updates with exes & new interests, get into a heated discussion about the most annoying position, and beg a man named Matt, the lead in their COVID musical. 
1:10:47
June 17, 2020
Tinder Therapy
In a time of restlessness and instability, we look for joy in low stakes affairs. Enter Tinder. What no one saw coming was an ex resurfacing. Jessie and Claire breakdown the relationship that was and what could be after a stroll around the neighborhood.
1:05:32
June 10, 2020
Virtual Speed Dating
After literally running out of a live speed dating event last fall, Jessie & Claire decide to try one virtually. The ladies swap stories about their dates with the same 9 guys. 
1:08:50
June 3, 2020
Is it Love or Allergies PART 3
Dating is a rollercoaster and Jessie and Claire are here to share every high, low, and confusing twists. After a Magical COVID Night and sobering revelations, a love letter appeared in an email. Strap in and listen as they read it aloud and respond in real time. But remember to keep your arms inside at all times.
39:24
May 28, 2020
Is it Love or Allergies PART 2
Some magical nights need an update after the romance has settled. Since a few days had passed and sentiments had shifted, Jessie and Claire jump back on the mics to let you know the latest.
47:54
May 27, 2020
Is it Love or Allergies PART 1
It was a Magical COVID Night. Both Jessie and Claire had dates. One FaceTiming and one strolling. Did they find love? Does one of them use “like?” Or did one of them attend a TED Talk disguised as a date?  
52:52
May 27, 2020
Master Dater and Wine Lover
Jessie has become a Master Dater with her third virtual date but this one had an added in-person element! She shares all the juicy details and the ladies talk about dating in this new world. Claire also finds out the harsh truth that her FaceTime is WAY too close.
1:00:42
May 20, 2020
The Thing about Them
This week we learn some hard and fast things about Jessie and Claire. Not a fan of change, taking it one day at a time, and loving maps are just a few. They also answer a few questions from the 36 Questions that Lead to Love because if there’s any hope to love a little more, they’ll take it. 
1:10:48
May 13, 2020
Finding Hope in a Success with Myra Withers Pitts
Jessie & Claire share their updates from a toxic ex and a shower crush as well as their recommendations for some good TV sex scenes if you’re in the mood. Then the ladies are joined by friend Myra Withers Pitts who tells the heartening tale of meeting her “cat daddy” husband. They texted for a full year before even meeting! Her story inspired the ladies to keep messaging on the apps even though they can’t meet in person any time soon. They’ll at least have the TV sex scenes to return to after a good long distant conversation. 
1:05:21
May 6, 2020
Understanding Love at First Sight
Jessie and Claire have been taking love classes and they’re here to drop some knowledge. Their classroom? The Lifetime TV show, Married at First Sight. They discuss some of the behaviors and communication styles they identify with and are terribly confused by. People keeping score in fights, crying wolf with compliments, sexual immaturity, daddy daughter issues, and couple with a 17 inch height difference. Claire is livid.
1:02:19
April 29, 2020
Is That Optimism I Smell?
Jessie is hot off a FaceTime date and Claire’s is on Hinge. The ladies are back! Jessie shares her suspicions in everything, Claire shares her discoveries about isolation, and they answer a listener’s question about the craziness of being in quarantine with an annoying boyfriend. The ladies love to answer questions so send them in on Instagram or nosuchthingasloveshow@gmail.com.
49:23
April 22, 2020
Love in Cinematic Form
Logging week 80 of quarantine, the ladies talk about Claire’s birthday, memories of going out, getting in fighting shape, walking into glass doors, and the most important part of a pandemic, what they’re watching.
39:48
April 15, 2020
Coming to Terms with Being Gorgeous
Jessie and Claire swap quarantine stories about a FaceTime date, quickie cuffs, braless late night escapes, and weeping all the way down the zipline.
54:17
April 9, 2020
Remember Having Sex in the City?
Hypothetically speaking, Jessie and Claire know all the answers to love’s questions. And they prove it on this week’s quarantine episode where they look back on some of Carrie’s greatest questions from Sex and the City. Along the way, they tell some old stories about cheating, dates with sugar daddies, and coming to terms with superficiality. All while looking like filth but thankfully for them this is not a visual medium. *thanks for sticking with us while we get this remote audio sorted out!
1:10:59
April 1, 2020
Redos & Lost Loves
Jessie and Claire hunker down for another week in quarantine and revisit some old dates they’d like to redo and think about the guys that got away. While they’re waiting to make new memories, nothing beats reminiscing about eager oral, insane love letters, and when guys told you they liked you.  *Apologies but there’s some fuzz from 15-27min in! Quarantine problems!
1:17:52
March 25, 2020
The Quarantine We
Jessie and Claire risked their anxiety & ‘Rona fears to hang together and chat about how they’re feeling. They discussed what it means to date now, wanting to be a “we,” video speed dating, and the hottest commodity around, TOILET PAPER! Stay safe and wash those hands!
43:23
March 18, 2020
Demanding Certainty with Jules Mahon
Jessie and Claire are joined by one of their best gal pals, Jules Mahon, to gab all about her exciting dating life and new relationship. They talk about protecting yourself, reprogramming assumptions, delusional love, Attached, and how much her mom loved their show. They don’t know much but they do know flattery always wins.
52:48
March 11, 2020
Beyonce Retrograde with astrologer Vanessa Hardy
Mercury Retrograde has Jessie & Claire all sorts of exhausted so they called in for help from astrologer extraordinaire, Vanessa Hardy. They chat about what role astrology plays in dating, how retrogrades can be a catch-all for problems, and what’s in store for the ladies. Get ready for a hot mess summer!
1:03:13
March 4, 2020
Tense or Release and Live from Carolines
After the success of Jessie’s blind date on the live show, she gives an update about what happened next. The ladies also talk about another date that wasn’t as successful and listening to their bodies when they’re telling you maybe it isn’t a great fit.  Stay tuned for the blind date from their live show at Carolines to hear what all the hubbub is about.
1:14:53
February 26, 2020
Panic Room Double Blind Date
It’s time for another live double blind date but the ladies raised the stakes. This one is in a panic room. Will the high stress & claustrophobia make the love sparked fly or create a terrified memory. Listen from pre to post date with no interruptions as Jessie & Claire chat with John & Sean about first crushes, pet peeves, turn ons, & fighting styles. Can you feel if sparks were flying? Or is the terror of the panic room? 
1:36:10
February 19, 2020
Debunking The App with Matt Cutler, Head of Customer Experience at Hinge
The ladies have become avid users of Hinge so they were absolutely elated when they got a chance to sit down with the Head of Customer Experience at Hinge, Matt Cutler. They chat about all the ins & outs of online dating but also the human element of dating. The ladies start off with some recent date stories including Jessie responding to touch like an aunt. 
1:45:30
February 12, 2020
Lip Lickers and Nice Guys
Would you rather go on a date with a nice guy from Jersey or a lip licker drug lord? Well Jessie and Claire went on dates with these guys and live to tell the tales. They both show growth in their dating lives as Jessie initiated touch and Claire refused to go to Brooklyn. Join them Tuesday, Feb 11th at Carolines on Broadway in NYC at 7:30pm. $10 tickets when you use the code “love.”
34:57
February 5, 2020
Communicating Through Boundaries with Margaret Doherty, LMFT
The ladies continue to honor their dating intentions with Claire setting up a date near her home and Jessie staying true to her authentic self. They’re also joined by marriage and family therapist, Margaret Doherty to discuss the #1 complication is relationships: communication. With finances as a close second. They also chat about freezing eggs, the Gottman Method, adjusting walls, and their love of ketchup. They also get some therapy for their own communication issues because we can all use some help.
1:19:19
January 29, 2020
No Episode Episode
Jessie & Claire got caught up in some fun projects but didn’t want to miss giving everyone an update! Fresh off a weekend of shooting Jessie’s new pilot (Forgotten Animals), they share the VERY exciting news they have a live show scheduled. Mark your calendars! Tuesday, Feb 11th at 7:30pm at the iconic Carolines on Broadway in NYC! They can't wait to see each & every one of you in person!
07:09
January 22, 2020
Intentions and Opinions with Keith Malley
The ladies set some new dating intentions. Claire is going on more coffee dates near her home and Jessie is going to have fun & thrive when she feels safe. They’re later joined by Keith Malley (Keith and The Girl). Keith has figured out love but has some opinions on their profiles and dating ways. They all laugh about dating yawners, taking a break from sex to work out a leg cramp, the low bar for guys to be decent, and Keith’s current catfish saga with his dad. 
1:19:31
January 15, 2020
Pussy Power with Cara Kovacs
What a year it’s already been! Jessie and Claire revisit their great New Years Eve and Jessie talks about a second date with an unlikely suitor. Spoiler, it didn’t go great. They're later joined by sex coach, Cara Kovacs who breaks down pussy power, sexual numbness, worthiness & safety, attachment styles, and how weird it can be to date in her profession. The ladies join Cara's vow to end ghosting culture and urge everyone to follow. And to turn up Lizzo.  
1:09:15
January 8, 2020
What A Year It's Been
Raise a glass and have some laughs as Jessie and Claire reminisce on the last year of bad dates and life lessons. They talk about being catfished, turned off by an aggressive heckler, reminded of how bad the bad guy was, and taught sex is over when he finishes. The ladies set resolutions for themselves and each other and decide to switch up their sign off. Jessie & Claire are optimistic about the year ahead but know they’ll still have plenty of missteps to bring the laughs. 
1:57:22
January 1, 2020
Dating Debacles and Smitten Kittens with Leah and Stefan
Jessie and Claire wish you a happy holiday by sharing their friend’s, Leah & Stefan, nearly unbelievable love story. But first they share their own updates which are far more believable. Jessie went on a date with a wet tongue and Claire hooked up with a playful ex. Then we hear the cutest darn meet cute that almost didn’t happen 5 different times. May their tales bring smiles to your faces and warmth to your hearts!
1:26:26
December 25, 2019
Getting Raw with Jessie and Claire
Tis the season to strip off the pretense and speak our truths. This week, the ladies discuss their bodies’ self defense against bad boys, to wear or not to wear a condom, flirty math teachers, and negging a Bud Light order. Then the ladies get into it when Claire triggers Jessie and we all fall into the emotional spiral together. This episode gets real and gets raw. (UPDATE: the show they couldn’t remember was “Shrill” where they mention women over 176 lbs may need to take 2 Plan Bs)
1:07:34
December 18, 2019
I think for me...with Shani Silver
Jessie And Claire start off with some updates on their recent escapades. Claire was awkwardly carried during a makeout and Jessie heard all about prostitution on her last date. They’re then joined by the always hilarious and insightful Shani Silver (writer, podcaster) to discuss her glittery epiphany that being single is an actual gift. They chat about old men in bars, how we’re not always doing something wrong, and the parallel universe where guys sit around and talk about dining alone. They also shout out Jessie’s series on JFL, It’s a Date, which is a must watch!
1:16:00
December 11, 2019
Positive Profiles with Meredith Golden
Get out your notepads because Jessie and Claire are getting all the tips from famed dating app ghostwriter, Meredith Golden (SpoonMeetSpoon.com). They chat about gentle nudges, profile energies, and focusing on what you bring to the table. The ladies also dissect their latest bad dates and want to send out another reminder that if you kiss them right, all their inhibitions are out the window.
1:29:32
December 4, 2019
Calling BS on Bad Communication
Jessie & Claire have been on some dates (yes! plural!) and are ready to dish. Jessie’s date was confident and successful yet couldn’t seal the deal with the weak landing. Claire had the most honest discussion about her life goals on a second date which led to the bedroom pretty quick. What else do you do after realizing you don’t want the same thing? Makeout! The ladies then get into a discussion about communication. When do you  call BS and when do you acknowledge people just have different styles?
58:15
November 27, 2019
As Best We Can with Pops and Julie
The ladies are joined by Claire’s dad & stepmother (aka Pops & Julie) to share their love story. Finding love after death isn’t easy but they found it with each other and have beautiful insight and inspiration for us all. Despite their podcast title being “a little off putting,” they have high hopes for Jessie and Claire in their search for men who celebrate their humor.
1:00:45
November 20, 2019
Worth The Commute with Michelle Collins
Jessie & Claire can’t stop laughing with the quickest, funniest darn comedians around and friend, Michelle Collins (@michcoll). They chat about dating while tall, the desire to be smothered by Ben Affleck, long toes, licking dirty beards, and the delights of Donkey. But first, the ladies give their latest updates of a frightening date and witnessing love on the MTA. 
1:22:30
November 13, 2019
It’s A Two Date Game
Jessie went on a date where she learned things. She learned about a Player’s tell. Her biggest take away is, “They open up emotionally so we’ll open up physically.” Claire called out a man for not wearing his wedding ring and tested her new way of finding out if someone is single. 
54:19
November 6, 2019
Man Tells All with Chris Cafero
Jessie and Claire welcome Hinge’s #1 Bachelor and actor/comedian/friend, Chris Cafero (@ccafero), into the booth to talk about all things dating. They peel back the curtains to share the male & female views on the different apps, making plans, signs of a great date, walking out on a date, and dating like our justice system: innocent until proven guilty. But first the ladies chat about being a single wedding guest and when you decide to stop pulling up your strapless bra.
1:33:56
October 30, 2019
Verbally Cuddling with the Cuddlist, Adam Lippin
Jessie and Claire learn all about professional cuddle therapy from Cuddlist Co-Founder & CEO, Adam Lippin. After realizing they both suffer from touch deprivation and skin hunger, it becomes evident they desperately need sessions with a cuddlist to help with their boundary and intimacy issues. But before they jump in with Adam, Jessie talks about her recent call with an astrologer and Claire breaks down her plan of action after a home invasion murder suicide. Everyone will need a cuddle after hearing their updates.  Also check out Adam’s new app, HearMe.app, for an empathetic listener to talk to because we could all use a kind ear.
48:01
October 23, 2019
Not Kissing But Still Telling
Jessie got back on the wagon with a hot new date and Claire spills the tea after a few dates with her previously blind date. The ladies answer the question: if you don’t want to high five, shake hands, or hug, how do you end a date? Salute!
1:09:40
October 16, 2019
Hanging with the Ladies
Jessie & Claire gab about dyslexia & sexting, coupled friends forcing singles together, letting fear pick the music, pausing time, junior high trends, Charlie’s hot bod, and SHOWING UP.
1:32:03
October 9, 2019
Rubbing Out the Stigma of Sex Work with Kaytlin Bailey
Jessie and Claire have been talking about speed dating for a while and they FINALLY went. You’ll never guess what happened. After you get over the shock, keep listening for one of the most informative, fascinating, and enlightening conversations with Kaytlin Bailey (@KaytlinBailey) from Decriminalize Sex Work (dswork.org). Listen and learn. Let's keep this conversation going so we’re all educated on the subject.
1:39:08
October 2, 2019
Live Double Blind Date
It’s always better to do it with a friend. That’s why Jessie and Claire decided to go on blind dates together! Listen in as the ladies are joined by Claire’s match on Hinge, Mike, and his friend, David as they answer ice breaker questions and then actually ask follow-up questions, much to Claire’s delight. The ladies also bare all and hand over their phones to their dates before playing the compliment round. Do either of these couples find a spark between them? You’ll just have to listen to find out.
1:18:07
September 25, 2019
Rollercoaster of Emotions
Jessie and Claire dive deep into some big fears. Claire reads a goodbye message she sent her toxic ex. Jessie wonders if she even has a matching puzzle piece out there. They also cover manners, death, weddings, family, and sexual worth. There are tears and laughter held together by a one great friendship.
1:08:21
September 18, 2019
Birthdays and Reappearing Ghosts with Alyssa Amoroso (Publyssity)
Jessie’s birthday is nearing and she’s freaking out. She and Claire chat about what birthdays mean for them and wonder if the definition of love is when you order a tub of ice cream and your partner still finds you cute. Then Alyssa Amoroso (@Publyssity) joins them to talk about everything from foot fetishes, exposing your feelings, guys who come on too strong too fast, and their 3 month challenge. Join their challenge and share your stories at nosuchthingasloveshow@gmail.com!
1:22:06
September 11, 2019
Belly Buttons and Makeouts
Jessie and Claire both had dates that made them start to wonder, if it isn’t horrible, is it good? The answer is no. But they’re trying and are even willing to suffer through a bad makeout just to make sure they’re not giving up too soon. They’re doing it all for you, the listener. So you’re welcome. They also chat about the different dating apps and the 2 levels of cute: cute enough to swipe right and cute enough to respond to them.
56:26
September 4, 2019
Optimistic Breakups with Lindsay Meck
Jessie & Claire rarely have second dates but after their conversation with this week’s guest, Lindsay Meck (Onward: A post-breakup concierge service), they’re excited for a relationship so they can have their inevitable breakups! Jessie also updates us on what happened with her blind date from the show and Claire struggles to remember the last time she felt butterflies.
1:04:17
August 28, 2019
Claire’s Live Blind Date
It’s Claire’s turn to be in the hot seat with a live blind date. But before her date arrived, Jessie and Claire had a chance to talk about their “ass”ets, Claire’s last good date, and what level of men fighting turn them on. Then things get awkward when the actual date begins. Did he ask any questions? Did Claire take off her host pillbox hat? And did they survive the compliment round? Listen to find out!
1:23:44
August 21, 2019
Cleaning Pipes
Jessie was “kittenfished” and Claire just needs her pipes cleaned. This week, they break down Jessie’s recent date, the possibility of F buddies, missed connections, and the desire for a conversationalist. Which is your favorite opening line? A) Would you tell me if I had food in my teeth? B) M&Ms or Skittles? 
1:16:27
August 14, 2019
Concussed with Chanel Omari
Jessie and Claire share an update from past guest Brittanie Sheree and the outcome of her on air text. They then dive in head first with Chanel Omari (Chanel in the City, Princesses: Long Island) gabbing about the stress of dating after reality tv, self love, and the concussion that rocked Page 6. Chanel promises to post a reenactment if we get 100,000 downloads so SPREAD THE WORD! 
1:24:17
August 7, 2019
Jessie's Live Blind Date
Be a fly on the wall as Jessie goes on a blind date LIVE in the studio! Have you ever noticed a couple clearly on their first date and wondered what they were saying? Now's your chance to know!! Claire set up the date but left Jessie and her date, Jeremiah, in the booth to get to know each other. It’s scary, it’s fun, it’s awkward, it’s everything you hope a date will be!
1:01:34
July 31, 2019
Cornucopia of Topics
Jessie and Claire dig in an assortment of their favorite topics: phone sex, boyfriend fetishes, infiltrating guy groups, brave behaviors, crippling fears, the beauty and difficulty of their friendship, and how Jessie is going to start picturing guys as older women. 
1:12:59
July 24, 2019
Time Takes Time with Chemda
Chemda (Keith and The Girl) has been on a journey and Jessie and Claire are fascinated and inspired by every single step. They chat about working with your partner, gaslighting, al-anon, celibacy, self love, needing sexy business transactions, and fans who couldn’t tattoo all of Chemda’s hair because it hurt too much. Pack some snacks and join them for the ride.
1:05:05
July 17, 2019
The Study Shows with Marisa T Cohen
It’s time to break down "love" into research and data. Doesn’t that make you hot?! But first, Jessie and Claire give updates that are worth celebrating. Apparently it takes Claire nearly 3 years to release herself from a bad news guy. Later, they’re joined by psychology professor and relationship scientist, Marisa T Cohen to chat about first date behaviors, kitten fishing, physiological arousal, and the male laissez faire attitude when it comes to dating. Listen to find out why Jessie & Claire are going to start hanging out on tall bridges. 
1:06:42
July 10, 2019
Fear is Fear is Fear with Brittanie Sheree
 Jessie and Claire take a break from their disastrous dating lives to help their friend, comedian Brittanie Sheree (@brittisfunny) with her latest crush. Because those who can’t do, teach. And by now they’ve definitely earned some sort of honorary degree. After breaking down all the signs of Brittanie’s date, they construct the perfect cool, let’s hang text and prep for all the possible responses. It takes a village. 
1:05:51
July 3, 2019
What's a spark, anyway?
Jessie and Claire dive deep this week with complaints about clingy relationships, the meaning of face sitting, shame spiraling, and some good ole fashioned anal chit-chat. Jessie returns to the scene of the crime and feels a special connection with her waiter. Claire reminisces about a “bull” she once dated that she nearly suffocated. They realize at the end of the day, neither of them understand the meaning of a “spark.”
58:24
June 26, 2019
Bless and Release, Lily Womble of Date Brazen
 Jessie and Claire take a stroll down memory lane and chat about their childhood crushes. But while they were hopelessly in love, they also became master deflectors of any boys that had crushes on them. They dive deeper into their troubled dating lives with Lily Womble, of Date Brazen. Claire realizes she’s not any less of a woman if she wants a relationship and Jessie figures out what she needs to know before she goes on a date. 
1:20:17
June 19, 2019
High Fashion and Long Naps, guest Hannah Berner
From pajamas to tailored suits with matching glasses, Jessie and Claire’s dates have worn them all. This week they chat about recent escapades where Jessie realized she may be on a date with a man who has elephantiasis and Claire’s body had an involuntary audible reaction when her date “leaned up” to kiss her. The hilarious & insightful Hannah Berner (Bravo’s Summer House, Berning in Hell podcast) joins in to chat about naps, love languages, and being real on reality TV. 
1:10:13
June 12, 2019
One Crazy Night
Have you ever had one of those fun, crazy nights where you then spiral into a self worth analysis for days later? That’s exactly what happened with Jessie and Claire so they’re here to tell us all about it. After a few bars and a few failed attempts to chat with guys, they settled with the guys in front of them. Claire realized sometimes it’s easier to make out with a stranger than have a conversation and Jessie breaks down her romantic night in metaphors. They also discuss what they’re really looking for and behaviors they aren’t really proud of. Specifically, Claire wants to apologize to her Uber driver. They all discovered something delightful about wide leg pants that night.
58:07
June 5, 2019
Coming in HOT
Jessie & Claire are coming in HOT in their first episode. They launch into the No Judgement Zone with updates about a recent affair, arguing heightism, and introducing everyone to the George of the Jungle analogy. Are you familiar with tapered fingers? Well as soon as Claire sees them, her date is dead to her. Jessie says her date is dead when they go dutch. They can’t figure out why they’re single either. 
43:37
May 29, 2019
Our Podcast Vows
Jessie & Claire give you a little preview of what to expect with their podcast.  Aka listen to them laugh at each other. 
06:53
May 2, 2019