Not For Everyone

In this special edition of Caroline's alleged "solo" episode, she is joined by her boyfriend, Justin. Justin chimes in to share a male perspective on all your questions - including what it’s like to date our resident hater, his perspective on dating apps, when it might make a little sense to “sell out” in your career, and so much more. They also debate various “dating crimes and misdemeanors” and can’t help but end it on…forearm strengthening tips? Don’t miss all the nasty boi phrases Caroline made Justin say in this special edition episode!  __

This episode was produced by your hater, Caroline Winkler.

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Sound the alarms: we’ve got a solo ep from Jess this week! She talks all about creative bursts, and how the past two weeks specifically have been glorious for her. But when the burst fades away...Jess reflects on what should happen next. She turns to Instagram DMs to learn how listeners conceptualize the idea of “being a creative” and how that looks in different career paths. 

Later, she goes into some therapeutic practices for understanding yourself and your place in your family. As a child of immigrants, Jess grew up with “survival parenting,” and she tells us a few ways she’s started to untangle herself from parental expectations. Get inspired bbs—whether you need a creative push or some time spent healing that sweet inner child. 

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It’s the one we’ve all been waiting for…the milestone of the century…the 69th EPISODE. Join Jess and Caroline (and a special guest??) to talk all your kookiest sex fantasies, including respected older gentlemen, tears as foreplay, marketplace porn, pod sex, and…Catwoman? 

And then one person’s fantasy gets Jess and Caroline in rumination mode: is your sex better if your relationship is better? Plus, they discuss how to work through sex insecurities, asking someone out in real life, and the many dynamics of dating apps. Warning: ghosts may be involved. 

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Thanks to Alex-Productions for the music!

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Anyone else feeling strangely… “baby” this week? Jess and Caroline coddle each other’s thoughts as they discuss imaginary friends, creepy children, and celebrities they can see themselves being friends with. 

They grow up a little (sigh) to talk through how to quit a job where you genuinely love your coworkers, answer a haunting would-you-rather, and cry loving tears over the sweetest review known to man. Curl up in a blanket for this one and let Caroline’s imaginary nanny take care of you as you listen.
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Is it getting hot in here? Jess and Caroline confront some hot takes with even spicier answers, but first: they talk the perils and plights of internet feedback—on YouTube and Instagram. Then, get ready to discuss the correct pronunciation of “espresso,” the unspoken meaning of “likes,” the one that got away, Venmoing friends after dinner, staying friends with your ex, and period sex. 

You’ll also hear their thoughts on the smaller details of life, including toe socks, unscented candles, Shrek, astrology, and of course, toilet paper. Okay, so maybe their takes were lukewarm, but were you entertained? Check.

This week, adult friendships are back on Jess and Caroline’s minds. They talk through how to schedule a girl's trip, their qualms with hosting, people pleasing breakthroughs, and how they each put on a show in social situations. They get to the bottom of this realization: are you really an introvert—or are you draining your social battery by performing? 

Plus, there’s still plenty of giggling about bell pepper dilemmas, horrific corporate lingo, and a new weekend hack that might change your life. Let’s hang, dawgs.

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Not For Everyone is basically a beauty podcast now. Jess and Caroline discuss venturing into the Botox world, witnessing the aging process, and parents' chaotic relationship to their children’s acne-ridden faces. They also consider life’s deepest questions, like how did we learn to do makeup without YouTube?

Caroline is weirdly obsessed with smell this episode, so get ready for some sweaty takes that might involve snails. Plus, the kooks were correct: Caroline admits she may, in fact, look a bit like Tom Hiddleston. Help Jess and Caroline figure out who Jess’ doppelganger is — and also how Jess can bring a boombox successfully to a party. It’s not easy work being DJs, but sighhhhh…..someone has to do it.
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In a solo recording, Caroline opens up about the big thing she has been avoiding talking about on the podcast - including the tips and tools for surviving the worst of your anxiety.

She also responds to a listener WHATADO about what to do when you find yourself stuck in a one-sided friendship, with major boundary violations and messy complications.

Various Trader Joes reflections included.

Kisses!

RESOURCES

It’s everybody’s favorite time: when Jess and Caroline give non-expert advice on a wide array of topics. This time, listeners wrote in with a friends-with-benefits conundrum, workplace boundary issues, and the problem with an influx of wedding invitations.

Plus, find out who has the softest butt around, if going to therapy equals enlightenment, and why the heck we wash our towels. Hope this helps guide you in your life—and if not, we can’t be held liable. Kisses!

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Another episode full of lukewarm takes, cyclical insights, and "that's so funny" reactions, this week Jess and Caroline show up with nothing to give but complaints and bad jokes.

First, Jess is no impressionist - and also apparently no standup - as she *corporate gulps* her way through a series of failed jokes that forced her to quit her comedy class. Meanwhile, Caroline be lutin' (scientific term for in the luteal phase of her menstrual cycle), leaving little room for laughter but a lot of room for spiraling about therapy.

This deadly combo concludes with the reveal of an upcoming surprise, an analysis of gifts as a love language, and a referral to a new form of therapy that both of our hosts desperately need.

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This episode was produced by your lover, Jess DeBakey.

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Jess and Caroline are just two sporty girls who are too busy collecting baby teeth and committing to unnecessary extracurriculars to keep a busy schedule. But here they gather on a Sunday morning ready to repeat to you exactly what their therapists said this week.

First, Jess is thinking about quitting a hobby that no one told her to pick up. Who know that was even possible?! Caroline talks her through it and then offers deeper context and examples on a hard hitting truth shared in last episode: Peace is letting people be wrong about you. The two go back and forth on when and how this can apply, even diving into one of the hardest areas to put this advice into practice: with family.

A hot take on imposter syndrome, affirming tarot card reading, and idiotic musings on time zones, middle age, and more round out the episode. Pee break!

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This episode was produced by NFE's #1 hater, Caroline Winkler.

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Jess has been spiraling, and she has her ear acne to show for it. But with Caroline's help, she's coming out of her seasonal sadness live on the pod - and this episode has the giggles to prove it.

The two talk about navigating conflict with their boyfriends, who both happen to be calm/cool/collected, while our co-hosts are emotional and reactive for a living. Fun! This conflict resolution breakdown turns into a tell-all of Jess and Caroline's first (and only) "fight" as partners on the pod. In conclusion: they're perfect, and everyone should learn from them, because science.

They wrap the episode with their musings on the age-old question: "does size matter?" Plus, Instagram wisdom that sends Jess back down her spiral.

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This episode was produced by your lover, Jess DeBakey.

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The hater and lover are reunited after a month of doing absolutely nothing besides sending each other bedtime texts. Caroline does have one more thing to show for her break, though: a new sport she’s invented. Or at least a concept that will improve the sporting experience for her? The details aren’t important.

The two move onto bigger topics as Caroline shares a Tony Robbins quote that stirred her into action recently: “the path of least resistance will never make you happy.” She’s happily taking on new challenges in her work, while Jess shares a story of turning down a new opportunity in favor of balance and long-term goals. She even references a book (*gasp!*), Radical Candor by Kim Scott, to elucidate her point. They settle on the hard truth that periods of ambition can only exist thanks to periods of rest, and discipline is in the eye of the beholder.

Finally, a couple of dating red flags that SEEM fine, until you get a good morning text from a Hinge dude who thinks he should run for president.

Join a sick Jess on the couch as she cozies up to our first episode recorded in the new year. She kicks off with her list of ins and outs for 2024, which turns into an aspirational sort of roast that points blame at everyone except her.

Next, she takes on a couple listener-submitted questions: first, Whatado when you feel like a mother to your partner, and then a question that only felt right to answer with a special guest - her boyfriend.

This edition of Jess Thots ends with her best attempt at a speed round of Hot Takes, and a final roll over on her couch.

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This episode was produced by yours truly, Jess DeBakey!

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It’s Whatado time—and this time Jess and Caroline host an unexpected theme: all things dating. They discuss how to let him down easy, how to hook up when you’re living alone, and what to do when it seems like everyone except you is finding love. 

Plus, a Hot Take turned Whatado: when should you burn it all down? Get a peak into what Jess and Caroline talk about off the pod, too, with a fun conversation about the perils and disappearances of beloved YouTubers, leading into a conversation about why we love other people’s slow narratives so much. Happy New Year, ya kooks! 

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Jess and Caroline are workin’ 9-5…kind of. They talk all things jobs and money in this episode, from redundant ads to savings accounts to burnout to applying to jobs you think you’re not qualified for. If bros at the golf course do it, you can too.

Plus, Jess adds some of her world-famous thots to this episode: a new museum experience (!!), a complaint on couples, and how she’s not accepting new challenges, thank you very much. Looking for a happy story in the media these days? Not For Everyone has you covered.

P.S. We're taking a break next week - talk in the new year, kooks!

This week, Jess and Caroline have a new take on parenting methods: what it might mean to let your child fail. They talk through some of their own experiences with bad parenting advice before heading into dating territory—specifically “Are We Dating the Same Person” FB groups and how those people’s experiences can actually get in the way of finding your person.

Then, they’ve got some relationship hacks. Scheduling difficult and deep conversations with your partner, how to ACTUALLY spice up your sex life (spoiler alert: not with the Kama Sutra), and what true intimacy really looks like. Tune in for the love making you’ve been looking for.

Jess and Caroline get absolutely HEATED about this week’s hot takes—but first, you know they had to add another scientific data point to their continuing conversation on dogs and sexuality. The research community may say that animals can be gay, but our Resident Scientists have more to say on the topic. 

Then, get ready to get SO mad: J and C talk age gaps in relationships, when baby voices are appropriate, Apple watches ruining formal wear, a multitude of bathroom woes (hot girls have IBS), the correct way to sit on his face, parenting your parents, and why thongs and lingerie are just kinda…mid. Plus, humble brag: they know what “meniscus” means fr fr. 

It’s that time of year again, where the good and bad combine to create the chaos of holiday feelings. Maybe you’re on the floor of your childhood bedroom crying, or maybe you’re laughing and decorating with family…only for your sister to say that one thing you wish she wouldn't. No matter your situation this holiday season, Jess and Caroline are here to commiserate, and maybe give like half an ounce of advice too. They discuss how to approach family fights, combat your own toxicity, let go of the need for control, and work through triggers while being at home, not to mention survive the scourge of family traditions.

Plus, help Jess and Caroline define what iMessage reactions REALLY mean, get some dinner table topic ideas, and check out Caroline’s pitch for a new rideshare app—and a term that may or may not be offensive.

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Jess and Caroline have a lot of scientifically proven laws about friendship over here, but what if your friends aren’t available on a night you need connection? The hosts talk a few hacks for making the most of alone time before Caroline begs Jess for tips on party planning and creating a satisfactory wardrobe—and Jess delivers.

Also, if you’ve ever practiced your autograph or posed for talent scouts at the mall, you’re not alone. Learn how to be a child star, how to quell panic attacks, and how repetitive activities soothe the soul. Plus, we know you’ve been waiting for the return of ~segments~, and we’ve got the kookiest sexual one queued up and ready for you in this episode.

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This week, Caroline and Jess contemplate a few listener-submitted thoughts: parents kissing their children on the mouths, a haiku review that unlocks teenage memories, and finally (!) what Caroline means by “mall Santa sex fantasies.”

Plus, a silly show and a scary movie that reveal C and J’s personalities (bet you can’t guess which genre goes with which host), the marketing genius of the nipple bra, and the pros and cons of living on a commune—a thing us women can’t seem to stop thinking about. 

Listen in for a surprise announcement, too. Something is coming sooner than you think but slower than you want...

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It's a solo episode this week as your lover comes to you from the depths of her heart at a time when joy is hard to find. She shares a bit about her experience as a first generation Lebanese American, then moves on to a highly requested topic: her *Official* Dating Show Rankings.

Next, Jess feels seen by a recent DM, asking her to talk about how to set boundaries at work, prioritize being simultaneously kind and strong, and find joy in day-to-day life. Plus, new ick unlocked - the only objective way to know if a couple be f**kin'.

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Have you ever wondered what you look like while having sex, and how far have you gone to find out? Caroline lets us in on her Secret Single Behavior, and Jess finds herself unable to say a certain dirty word on the pod. This leads to an unpacking of our relationships with sex, and why we find it hard but important to talk about publicly. Naturally, our first kiss and virginity stories follow, plus an unfortunate BUDding romance and cotillion-induced panic attack.

Everyone is lonely and no one is hanging out without you. Even if they are, do you really want to be staring at them blankly over a plate of food? Why is it so hard to socialize, and how can we make it easier? Caroline and our producer Abi have hacked it recently, and you can too. Meanwhile Jess is in her feels about maintaining friendships as people start to have kids, but in the meantime, to the grocery store we go.

Caillou is back but not for the reasons you'd think; Bad Bunny is more like a dad than you'd expect; and oh wait, another Catholic school girl story - this time about awards that Caroline resents Jess for winning.

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The creative well has been dry as ever lately, but that's where you kooks come in, with another episode of listener-submitted questions or WHATADOs. We don't know what you should do, but we're not apologizing for this potentially bad advice either.

First, how to deal with a partner who can't stop complaining about their job but doesn't want to do anything about it. Misery loves company and your energy is probably better spent not enabling this endless loop. Then, a quick comment on how to handle feelings of spite, and a deep dive into the world of creating and performing. Caroline doesn't care what those f**kers have to say, and Jess just wants everyone at a standup show to do well. How about dance? Ask Prince Abi and the kids.

Finally, we talk about how to bring up sexual desires with your partner, and Santa makes an unexpected appearance. More to come there? Plus a complaint about public bathrooms and a fourth grade prank that shaped the women we are today. __

Caroline's therapist is hot and Jess doesn't get why that's relevant. Personal style is overrated anyway. What's not overrated is Caroline greeting her boyfriend after not seeing him since...yesterday. Very highly rated, based on Jess's observation.

Going to the gym in the morning makes you better than everyone else and that's a scientific fact. Sometimes it's the only way to make time for yourself - that, and saying "no" often, maybe even as a default. Otherwise you end up in a situation that Jess's dad would advise against, and you wouldn't want to set that precedent.

There's a special kind of embarrassment that comes with "White Noise for Sleep 3 Hours" being your most recently played Spotify track. Better or worse than your sex playlist? It depends who you ask. Plus, running a marathon is like going to war and we choose the comedy war instead.

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What do two podcasters/scientists do when they have nothing to say? Well here at Not for Everyone industries, we take that as a sign to dive into one of the most highly debated and contentious topics on the internet: cancel culture. We know, we know... Right after offending all parents by giving air time to Caillou last week. This is just the edgy stuff you can expect from us.

After a hypothetical takedown of Beyoncé that Jess wishes had been targeted at Taylor Swift instead, we pivot to lighter subjects. The lightest, actually; welcome to the rejected thoughts we've had written down for weeks but decidedly never brought to the show. Hank Jones enters the chat, and Caroline gets her daily dose of compliments. Plus responding to your DMs.
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Our hater and lover are reunited, and though Jess comes to this episode with little to no voice, she has a lot to say (and sing) after a week off. Mostly regarding the Jonas Brothers, of course.

We're all just mailbitches and feminism isn't only about language; let's get paid more, you guys! You know what is about language, though? The proliferation of the word "enjoyment" on social media. Joy? Who's she? Our return to therapy might get us there; otherwise this is all just one big Instagram countdown to death.

Most people seek purpose in having kids; meanwhile Jess birthed her boyfriend. She's not jealous of them, but she is enraged about Bobbi Althoff; luckily, there's room for all of us in Drake's DMs.

Meanwhile, Caroline just wants someone to care when she's walking down the highway alone. Plus, complaints, of course.

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Welcome back to the Hater Hour. It’s a solo episode hosted by Caroline while Jess takes a mental health break — take note people! Breaks are GOOD FOR YOU and actually entirely necessary.

Unfortunately for you, the solo Hater Hour means there is no one to tame Caroline as she dives into discussion of self-improvement, trying to make a big life changes, trying/failing to change others, difficult parent relationships, open relationships (again), fashion offenses, and the forgotten Jonas Brother. 

She also opens up about some recent mental health struggles and why you deserve to get help for yourself, no matter how “slight” or “casual” your struggle feels. There is also a major confession involving Tide Pods. It’s complicated. 

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Hot takes are back with a vengeance as the lover and hater tackle the problem with 69ing, their views on open relationships and keeping people on the backburner, and a number of topics that have them realizing just how basic they are - birthday month, Barbie movie, and pumpkin spice to name a few. Okay, mostly Jess, who balances it out with strong opinions on hot fruit and microwaved quesadillas. Meanwhile, Caroline insists she was popular with the boys as a child, though always on the lookout for fedoras and earlobes.

But first, a complaint about skincare instructions, an announcement about derma-planing, and examples of times Jess and Caroline have stood up for themselves recently - including updates on gym etiquette and the Mykonos club scene.

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The mood is malaise as Jess and Caroline mosey into a conversation about platonic male/female friendship that they certainly weren't prepared to tackle. Similarly, Jess wasn't prepared to start vlogging this week, though she definitely tried after feeling so inspired by Caroline's recent YouTube video. The compliments lead to an existential question: What do you wish you were appreciated for more often?

Caroline does NOT appreciate gym bros who don't put back their weights. At least she has a new NFE sweatshirt to comfort her. Do y'all want merch? Also have y'all heard of the moon? It apparently is full at the end of every month and also menstruation is hard.

Romantic body types don't make sense but lush yin somehow does. Hands can be hot and there are give or take eight different kinds of feet. Just because we know this doesn't mean we want our toes sucked, and oh also Caroline is still haunted but that doesn't mean you need to DM Jess.

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It's Caroline's birthday and Jess endured a child who's never heard the word "no" to fly out and touch knees with her. It was worth it for all the announcements in this in-person episode.

The thing about intrusive thoughts is that if you imagine your sister thought about stabbing you too, you'd feel a lot better about the fact that neither of you has done it yet. You aren't your thoughts, and you also aren't your response time to that group text that's been blowing up your phone all day. If you think about it, so rarely does banter in a group chat correlate to depth of connection IRL. Context switching is hard.

That's why Caroline swears by time-boxing her texting, and Jess swears if she just had 4 or 5 hours or years she'd get everything on her to-do list done perfectly. Plus, debating your anniversary with your partner is actually a form of asking for words of affirmation, but isn't everything when you're two girls who talk for a living (almost)? It doesn't mean any one love language is superior to the other.

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Slumber party!!! This week, the lights are off and the sleepover just got real intimate as Jess and Caroline talk without video. In other words, there's no YouTube video this week - also who knew regular phone calls were still a thing?!).

It gets existential fast with a conversation about how memories are formed, which leads into an exploration of the idea that we’re living in a simulation. What would that change? The possibility of an afterlife? Does that mean we don’t have to be good people anymore, because it feels like we probably still should.

It would be off brand to open with anything other than hair talk, so Caroline gets right to critiquing her new haircut, which is unfortunately more Brooklyn hipster than it is American Girl doll. This triggers memories of eyebrow and leg hair shame from middle and high school, setting the groundwork for the rest of the episode: everything is a lie.

Starting with the lies that people tell about romance in their long-term relationships! Jess can't stand it, so she insists on sharing how she and her boyfriend have recently found connection in the mundane, including a story about dumpster diving plus video game foreplay. Meanwhile, Caroline's done keeping her recent fantasies to herself. Being breastfed by a man is nourishing and gender-bending, her boyfriend gets very small and very far sometimes, and most importantly she cannot marry Jess even though it's all scheduled and everything. Marriage is a scam but we like it!

Dunkin cold cream is actually whipped cream which is actually cold foam. Claw clips are fertile (even earthen) ground for disagreement. And playing sports in high school is not a personality. Neither are Jess's college a cappella days, but the difference is she'll tell you she's cute - no questions asked.

Finally, a game of Super Theoreticals inspires a conversation about avoiding sadness at all costs, only to get horny thinking about Lion King moments later, and that's just what you get on NFE!

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You sent in your dating struggles; we pulled our best advice out of our asses. In this strange new world of app dating, constant anxiety, and ever-changing standards, how do we stay true to ourselves when looking for connection? Not super well, but everything we've learned in hindsight, we're here to share with you.

• All things dating apps - filters and types, how long to talk before a date, and taking breaks when you're being the worst
• First dates - the spark, whether chemistry can grow, why to turn a second date into your default, and allowing silence
• Early stages - "normal" timelines, exclusivity and labels, and getting your ex out of your head
• F**kboys, f**kgirls, and f**kems - texting, ghosting, and knowing when to walk away

Plus, some of YOUR best dating advice, and why this is all just one big animal style numbers game.

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As usual, a compliment turns into a larger conversation about coveting hotness and beauty standards, as Jess and Caroline agree that the only thing they (or any of us) really care about is sex and attraction. But is beauty work a lie, or is it simply a way to masquerade in an identity they haven't historically aligned with?

This breakdown of identity turns into a reflection on how people talk about themselves - basically, what all of our dating profiles would say if they were actually true. We chat about our best and worst qualities when it comes to romantic relationships, Jess describes why ice has become her love language, and Caroline finds herself relating to monkeys, bison, and...yep we're on cats again.

Urgent news announcement! Lizzo posted about UFOs and we're wondering what it means for us. Plus, foot stuff, and the tenuous process of reconciling with your mom. Just be chill; it's not an apology.

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WHATADOS are back, and though Jess and Caroline are physically falling apart and can't agree about hair removal strategies, their non-advice to the kooks is ready to rage.

Caroline and Jess are back together at last and have very little to show for their time apart. No insights or reflections, no hot takes; just more contributions to the hot cat/cartoon crush directory.

We also have plenty to say about our recent air travel experiences and the misery that is interacting with other people in flight. Airports everywhere are chaos, but there's something in our east coastal elitism that makes it especially unbearable to wait in a disorganized Italian queue.

Plus, some stories from Caroline's acting career, including her big break in spoken word and a web series Jess fan-girled.

Why does it seem like your friend wants you to lust after her new guy? Why doesn't he keep salt in his home? We don't have the answers, but we do have the giggles. Leave us a five star review.

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In her final days before turning 32, Jess reflects on what it means to be fun, especially having been a late bloomer in a lot of aspects of traditional American life. Somehow it's been both a help and a hindrance to her self confidence - who else wants their mommy whenever they enter a sketchy club or party? Children of immigrants please stand up!

This leads into an exploration of two age-old questions: first, how to conceptualize regret, and next, how to tell the difference between anxiety and intuition. Jess has touched on these topics before and promised to provide links, so here they are:

How are we? Just look at our hair. Though this week's YouTube video will be delayed FYI - we're happy to have you listening here!

In a new series called Hot Takes Only, we're giving our spiciest quips (i.e. really just the truth) on listener-submitted topics. Consider this episode a scientific analysis; we cover morning vs. night showers, couples sitting on the same side of the booth, boxer shorts, brunch, "baby on board" decals and more - with many twists and turns and tangents in between. You've never heard a podcast go this deep on bumper stickers.

Caroline also shares a dating hack that is the complete opposite of what Instagram therapy is telling you, and Jess talks about her upcoming vacation - not to mention debuts her talent for sound effects and beatboxing.

It's a fun one to get you through the week; until next time, kooks!

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Another week, another update from Jess that she still hasn't done that one thing she's been putting off at work. Not to worry - what she isn't accomplishing in terms of *tedi* tasks, Caroline makes up for by testing her spelling, as the two drift through stories of middle school spelling bees, high school burnout, and eventually, bible camp shame.

Getting hit on when you’re in a relationship hits different, and also leads to a pretty unwinnable set of choices - come off bitchy, or lead someone on. Why must smiling and making eye contact be seen as such a virtue! Not only that, but apparently being a great conversationalist can be a hindrance to your dating life - at least it works for podcasting. Caroline asserts that there's a clear imbalance in what men and women generally expect from their partners today, and Jess has consulting jargon to fix it all.

To close out the episode: some Instagram reels Jess has watched recently, gaslighting in the beauty industry, and a “not a personality” we’re both guilty of. So crazy that we almost forgot there is no self.

Dog sex! Jess and Caroline open this episode on the same page about almost every aspect of acquaintance-level run-ins, except for one; please someone help Jess feel seen on the elevator in her Turbie Twist. We can walk in opposite directions once we get off.

Next, Jess opens up about a recent breakthrough she had around patterns in interpersonal relationships, all thanks to AppleTV's Shrinking and not so much to her infrequent therapy visits. Who knew all that stands between us and increased intimacy with our loved ones could be as simple as a boop.

In this week's edition of Not a Personality, Caroline articulates at what point liking Halloween and puns becomes an attack on her personal space. There's a certain order fruit must be consumed in, and according to Lebanese adage, it all comes back to eating the grapes or killing the guard. Our astrological charts round out the episode and one thing's for sure - compatibility over sex and aggression was never a concern. Back to procrastinating and Love Island UK we go.

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This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse.

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After a week not on vacation together, Jess and Caroline are back in-person with a stupid vengeance. Caroline is fresh off a time-pressured mast sesh and Jess is reeling from her tertiary involvement, so the energy is PG-13 despite all the talk about cartoons. Their butts get hot as Bugs Bunny, Max Goof, Aladdin, and Danny Phantom are described in intimate detail; whichever you're into, it's always your choice. "The game," however, may not be.

A quick detour from the sexually charged giggles turns to a listener DM inquiring about how important it is to do everything with your partner. TL;DR: Don't do that. We discuss the fickle balance between solo time, friend time, one-on-one partner time, and partnered group time - nobody said it was easy, but Jess is proud of herself for communicating her priorities to the people closest to her. Caroline frees us all of the notion that it makes you a bad friend to be obsessed with a romantic interest for a while, but she also notes how important it is to keep in touch with your full life when that starts to happen.

AND ALSO a story about being super chill in a sex shop, two petty complaints, Jess's cute and funny battle with idioms, puppies, and hilarious wisdom from the Nora Ephron documentary.

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This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse.

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This deep-dive on friendships brought to you by countless listener DMs and years of oscillating between loneliness and social burnout. The balance is hard to strike and the stumbling never ends, but if we had to summarize our tips for finding lasting friendships, they might look something like:

• Accept that making new friends takes time and will contain disappointment
• Know that not every connection needs to be your deepest in order to serve you
• Allow space for friendships to breathe when the ebs and flows of life happen
• Be mindful of how you approach your friends for help, and how you offer help to them in return
• Beware of possessive friendships and passive-aggressive behavior
• Be honest with yourself about the friendships you can and should prioritize

In conclusion, everyone's just trying to live their lives. Plus some stupider tidbits we threw into the episode for good measure, including Caroline's iPhone notes from 2017, a hidden talent Jess discovered in herself this week, and the origin story of the phrase "having a time." AND ALSO, a drop-in from our editor, Abi! Now let Jess get back to her ugly night.

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This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse.

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A slower week in our lives means a hair appointment becomes content! It's not an episode of NFE if we aren't complimenting someone's hair. Caroline's bangs are refreshed, though her hands are wet and neck is aching. Nothing putting her dangly feet up and chatting with Jess can't fix.

The two shift gears and launch into an exploration of what manifestation does (and does not) mean to them. Too often does the internet rely on manifestation as the answer to all things - just announce you're a lucky girl and speak your dreams into reality! While Jess has had some "success" with certain elements of this philosophy, it's so much easier said in retrospect. Privilege and luck are companions to hard work and time in achieving pretty much anything, not to mention Jess's knack for hope and positivity and Caroline's preference for doubt and cynicism. That's right; both can work and have a place. We're a hater and a lover blah blah tropes.

That is until dating is the topic at hand, in which case any singular approach falls to the wayside as Caroline and Jess both lose all sense of self and stability. Has anyone figured this out?! How do you trust a charismatic bloke like Harry Styles and how did this conversation so quickly transition into owl pellet nostalgia?

In conclusion, a well-answered Hinge prompt is hard to come by. One could say they're seasonally dependent.

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This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse.

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Back together again, Jess kicks off with a realization - having taken last week off and listened to Caroline's episode - that her otherwise minimal self hatred is at an all-time high when she's sick. She recounts the cycle of burning herself out by being overly productive, then feeling guilty about not being able to be productive, and then finally resting and being able to be productive again. It's helpful to exactly no one but feels good to her.

Then, onto an episode full of petty complaints. Number one on the list: why do people who don't even know Jess love her so much??? This question made more sense with some explanation, and Caroline was able to provide a helpful perspective on this phenomenon that some people (often women) are way too complimentary before knowing a person well enough, or express far too much gratitude when someone simply does their job. Insincerity irks Jess; she'd rather earn it.

Next, Caroline's strong complaint that the phrase "aging gracefully" is a double standard placed on women because somehow beauty is supposed to be effortless. No makeup makeup is a lie, and so is this idea.

Pet names (i.e. babe, baby) and PDA are next on the chopping block, leading to a college hookup story from Caroline's arsenal, followed by Jess's announcement that she is in fact wearing underwear despite what visible panty line rules may suggest. Always keeping us on our cameltoes.

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This episode was edited by none other than our prince, Abi Newhouse.

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Share with a friend! Subscribe and rate us on your favorite podcasting app! Review us on Apple Podcasts!

Introducing Hater Hour - like happy hour but weirder and darker and probably happening at 2am. With Jess out sick, Caroline takes on her FIRST EVER solo podcast episode, responding to a bunch of listener-submitted topics as she yearns for her mommy alone in her apartment.

First, a very personal look into Caroline's relationship with her deepest, darkest complex and how she thinks about negative self talk. She's getting more comfortable with the idea that the things that made her the way she is might just be a part of her, and that's allowed; self acceptance can be freeing compared with the never-ending quest for self improvement.

Next, reacting to your petty complaints and weirds turn-ons; honestly, you kooks need help. Do NOT let Caroline catch you making this one particular grammatical faux pas, unless you truly have a death wish. Then, a DM about pick-me girls turns into a story about Halsey and an admission that women judge each other unfairly. And finally, how Caroline thinks about measuring success as a content creator, knowing that doing it for views can't be her answer.

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