Good Grief

Who says it’s too late to be talking about horror? 

In this month’s episode, Pete and Amber explore how death, dying, and funerals are depicted in the media. Amber, with her penchant for horror movies, offers a unique perspective, revealing the dual aspects of death in cinematic and television narratives—between the gruesome and the serene. As the conversation unfolds, the duo delves deeper into the accuracy of these portrayals. Amber underscores the profound impact these depictions can have on people's perceptions of death, particularly when so few have first-hand exposure to its unadorned reality. 

They dissect how classic shows like CSI and Grey's Anatomy amplify the drama, from gripping emergency room scenes to intriguing portrayals of funeral directors in forensic television. The discussion then seamlessly transitions to the big screen, with the mention of iconic titles such as "My Girl," "The Shining," and "Harold and Maude." They also explore the depth of research in modern TV productions, unveiling how these programs meticulously detail the workings of real-life processes.

This episode offers a thought-provoking analysis of the evolving media landscape's portrayal of death, and an eye-opening exploration for those curious about how shows and films shape our understanding of mortality.

Takeaways:

1. From the dualities of gruesome and serene portrayals to the dramatization in TV shows, it's evident that media plays a pivotal role in shaping our understanding of these subjects. Understanding this influence is crucial for individuals seeking a more nuanced and realistic perspective on death.

In this episode:

[1:55] Pete kicks off the episode by introducing the month’s topic–how death, dying, and funerals are portrayed in the media. Horror movie junkie, Amber, talks about the dual perspectives of death in shows and movies: the gruesome and the serene.

[4:40] Pete and Amber delve into the accuracy of the violent and horror portrayals of death. Amber reiterates how these depictions can be impactful in shaping people’s perception of death, especially with how very few are exposed to its realities.

[6:49] The duo talk about all-time favorite TV shows such as CSI and Grey’s Anatomy. They explore the dramatized portrayal of most scenes in these shows, from the intense emergency room moments to how funeral directors are depicted in forensic TV.

[10:28] From My Girl, to The Shining, Harold and Maude, and more–Pete and Amber transition to movies and compare their impact versus TV shows that are built for weekly episodes and cliffhangers.

[15:53] Amber and Pete talk about modern day TV productions and the depth of their research on how the processes actually work. They also address the impact of hyper transparency in these shows on how families perceive critical issues such as terminal diagnosis and surgeries.

Resources:

In this episode, Amber and Pete shed light on the topic of hospice care, sharing their insights and debunking common misconceptions. Amber starts by explaining how she chose this topic for the episode, drawing from her experiences with families who often express regret for not admitting their loved ones to hospice sooner. Pete raises an important question about whether patients in hospice have a say in their own care. They both address the misconception that hospice is exclusively for cancer patients and delve into other myths, including strange perceptions about hospice workers and the belief that a physician's referral is necessary for admission. Amber emphasizes the importance of being proactive when it comes to the care of a loved one with a terminal illness.

This episode is a valuable resource for listeners seeking to gain a deeper understanding of hospice care and to challenge common misconceptions surrounding it.

Takeaways:

1. Hospice isn't necessarily a last resort or limited to end-of-life cancer care. It's a comprehensive and compassionate approach that empowers patients to have a say in their care.

In this episode:

[1:30] Amber shares how she comes up with the topic of hospice for the podcast episode. She recounts how many of the families she meets with wish they’ve admitted their loved ones in the hospice sooner.

[3:39] Pete and Amber debunk the misconception tagged with hospices that they are only for people diagnosed with cancer. Pete raises the question on whether the patients in hospices have a say for their care.

[6:45] Pete and Amber further delve into the myths and misconceptions surrounding hospices such as the strange perceptions on the workers and that a physician’s referral is required to be admitted. Amber highlights the importance of being proactive for a loved one suffering from a terminal illness.

[9:01] Pete asks Amber how expensive hospices are. They also discuss the possibility of going back to regular treatment if a patient outlives their prognosis.

[11:45] Amber shares how funeral directors work closely with hospice nurses and how they help point families to hospices that can provide care to their loved ones in the area.

Resources:

In this episode, Amber and Pete dive into the topic of body and organ donation, debunking myths and addressing common concerns. They begin by highlighting the importance of discussing donation throughout the year. Pete raises the misconception about open caskets for organ donors, questioning whether they are allowed.

They also tackle the myth surrounding autopsies and how funerals look like when the deceased has chosen to donate their body to science. Amber explains the typical funeral process in such cases and emphasizes the value of body donations to professionals in various fields, especially medicine. Lastly, they discuss how tissue and organ donation can impact the appearance of the deceased, addressing concerns often expressed by families.

By dispelling myths and sharing insights, Amber and Pete provide a comprehensive understanding of the donation process and its implications for funeral arrangements.

Takeaways:

1. Body and organ donation is an important topic that should be talked about.
2. Body donations make significant contributions not just to the field of medicine but also to different professions such as those involved in the embalming process.

In this episode:

[2:07] Amber talks about April as the National Donate Life Month and explains the importance of talking about body and organ donation year-round. Pete starts the discussion on myths by asking if organ donors are not allowed to have open caskets in their funeral.

[06:53] The duo talk about the myth on autopsies and whether they are conducted for free when requested by the family of a deceased who donated their body.

[10:56] Pete asks Amber what funerals look like when the deceased had decided to donate their body to science. Amber explains how the funeral process usually goes and how valuable these body donations are to the professionals in their field and in medicine.

[14:09] Pete and Amber discuss tissue and organ donation and how it may alter the appearance which is often a major concern for the family of the deceased.

Resources:

In this episode, Amber and Pete delve into the world of embalming and cremation myths. They discuss the fate of jewelry, metallic teeth fillings, and implants during these processes, debunking misconceptions along the way. From how embalming doesn't grant permanence or produce odors to debunking the myth that remains are directly set on flames during cremation, the duo provides insightful information on these often misunderstood topics. They also shed light on the alternative techniques used by embalmers to create a natural appearance without sewing lips and eyes shut.

This engaging episode provides an enlightening and fun exploration of these intriguing topics, promoting a better understanding of embalming and cremation practices.

Takeaways:

1. This enlightening and engaging discussion promotes a better understanding of these practices and encourages listeners to approach embalming and cremation with more accurate knowledge.

In this episode:

[1:25] Pete brings up the YouTube video sent by Amber a few months ago which prompted the idea for the episode’s topic–embalming and cremation myths.

[2:50] Amber and Pete talk about what happens to the jewelry, metallic and gold teeth fillings, and implants of the deceased when they are being embalmed or cremated.

[7:04] The duo tackle the myths about how embalmed bodies last forever and that embalming makes the remains smell. Amber debunks both myths and explains how the process just delays the decomposition of the remains.

[10:48] Pete and Amber talk about a popular myth that embalmers sew the lips and eyes shut when necessary. Amber shares how embalmers actually employ alternative techniques to create a natural and peaceful appearance during the embalming process.

[13:17] The two talk about the myth that embalmers remove all the organs during the process.

Resources:

In this month's episode, Amber and Pete explore the often-misunderstood topic of funeral costs and the crucial role of funeral directors in managing the intricacies of the funeral process. They discuss the perception of families regarding the costs and how funeral directors handle this sensitive issue.

Amber provides insights into the professional needs that contribute to the costs, such as their time, education, and overall expertise. They also highlight the significance of a funeral director's presence in alleviating stress and maintaining respect throughout the process. 

Additionally, Amber shares about the post-funeral aftercare services they offer, ensuring families have the necessary resources to navigate their grief.

Join them for an enlightening conversation on the mission of funeral directors and the complexities of funeral costs. Takeaways:

1. There are a lot of factors that contribute to funeral costs, including the time, education, and expertise required by funeral directors. 
2. The presence of a compassionate funeral director can greatly reduce stress for grieving families and ensure a respectful and meaningful funeral process.

In this episode:

[1:30] Amber and Pete talk about the main mission of funeral directors in handling all the details of the funeral process and how they deal with the perceptions of the families regarding the costs.

[3:09] Amber provides an insight into the costs they have to deal with, highlighting the professional needs. She expounds on the time, education, and expertise their profession entails which contribute to the costs involved in providing comprehensive funeral services.

[7:30] Pete asks Amber how many people usually work on the whole funeral process. Amber explains how everyone in their team of six directors, pre planning specialists, and office administrators get highly involved in the intricacies of the process.

[11:10] Pete talks about how the presence of a funeral director can take away the stress from the grieving families and make the process more respectful. Amber adds that there are cremation services that do not proceed with the process without the guidance and involvement of a funeral director.

[12:59] Amber shares about the post funeral aftercare services they offer such as sending out cards, text messages, inviting the families to grief support groups, and making sure they have all the resources they need to process their grief peacefully.

Resources:

In this episode, Pete and Amber are joined by Mike Miller of the Willow River Cemetery in Hudson, WI. Mike shares his personal journey, recalling how his fascination with the cemetery began when he worked there as a 15-year-old summer job worker. As the discussion unfolds, Mike opens up about the challenges and rewards of meeting with grieving families, emphasizing the fulfilling responsibility of assisting them through the burial arrangements process. The trio dives into the intricacies of the sale process and the careful consideration given to selecting burial spaces in collaboration with the families. They also explore the significance of maintaining the cemetery grounds and the growing trend of families seeking a designated place, like a cemetery, for solace and remembrance.

Throughout the episode, the hosts and Mike emphasize the profound role cemeteries play in initiating the grief work process and providing individuals with a means to find solace and commemorate their loved ones.

Takeaways:

1. Cemeteries should not be seen merely as burial places, but rather as significant spaces for grief work and commemoration.
2. The role of a cemetery caretaker goes beyond administrative tasks, as they provide crucial support to grieving families during the burial arrangements process.

In this episode:

In this episode, host Pete Waggoner and Amber Miller of O’Connell Family Funeral Homes discuss the role of pallbearers in funeral services. They explain the origin of the term “pallbearer” and its evolution to refer to individuals carrying the casket during a funeral procession. The hosts explore the process of choosing casket bearers, including age and gender requirements, and the benefits of involving loved ones in the selection process during pre-planning. The conversation also covers how the tradition of urn-bearers applies to cremated individuals and how it can be personalized to honor the wishes of the deceased and their loved ones. This episode also looks into the importance of personalizing the funeral service to reflect the wishes of the deceased and their loved ones.

Takeaways:

1. Pallbearers play an essential role in the funeral service by carrying the casket and honoring the deceased. Choosing pallbearers can be a thoughtful way to involve loved ones in the funeral planning process and ensure that the deceased's final wishes are carried out with care and respect.

In this episode:

[1:27] Host Pete Waggoner jumps right into the interesting topic of pallbearers. Amber discusses the origin of the word and its practice. They talk about how in the middle ages, pallbearers used to carry the pall instead of the actual casket.

[3:23] Pete and Amber explore what it means to be a casket bearer and how they are chosen. Amber shares how some clients would request to assign their grandchildren as the pallbearers during the preplanning process.

[6:37] The two discuss how the tradition works for cremated individuals. Amber explains how certain loved ones may carry the urn, although having pallbearers in such cases is optional.

[9:01] Pete and Amber discuss the age and gender requirements for pallbearers. Amber shares how they would discuss the specifics with the deceased's family.

[11:44] Pete and Amber talk about the interchangeability of the terms ‘pallbearer’ and ‘casket bearer.’ They also emphasize how identifying one’s casket bearers during preplanning can greatly show appreciation for the loved one.

Resources:

In this episode, host Pete Waggoner and O’Connell Family Funeral Homes’ Amber Miller discuss the importance of remembering and honoring moms on Mother's Day. They highlight the various ways people can pay tribute to their mothers–from setting up an altar in their homes to participating in charity works or doing acts of kindness. They also explore the role of grief and loss in Mother's Day celebrations and how these can be a good way to build on the legacy and traditions created by the deceased. Ultimately, the episode emphasizes the significance of showing love and appreciation to our mothers who left us with cherished memories and a lasting legacy this Mother’s Day.
Takeaways:

1. Remembering and honoring our moms on Mother’s Day can be a healing experience, especially for those who have just recently lost their mothers or who are struggling with the grief of their absence.

2. Building on the legacy left by our deceased loved ones can be a meaningful way to continue their memory and honor their impact on our lives.

In this episode:

[1:42] Pete and Amber open the discussion by talking about the things one should be aware of when honoring their moms on Mother’s Day. They discuss how being proactive and prepared and seeking companionship can help make grief triggers more manageable. 

[3:54] Amber and Pete explore the different ways people can remember and celebrate their moms, such as writing a letter, buying flowers, and preparing their mother’s favorite meals for the family to enjoy together.

[10:13] Pete shares how his mother enjoyed doing volunteer work and supporting different causes. Amber talks about how doing acts of kindness or participating in charitable activities in honor of our mothers can be a meaningful way to continue their legacy and honor their values.

[13:24] Amber mentions how they get many questions about Mother’s Day celebrations during the month and how O’Connell Funeral Homes strive to become a good resource for everyone in the community.
Resources:

In this episode, host Pete Waggoner and O’Connell Family Funeral Homes’ Amber Miller welcome Stress Awareness Month by discussing the different aspects of stress. From its usual symptoms to how it relates to grief and burnout, the two share their personal insights and experiences on the topic. They also delve into compassion fatigue and how one can cope with the stress brought by providing care and solace to a grieving person. In the end, Pete and Amber share several Dos and Don’ts when dealing with stress.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone experiencing monumental changes or going through burnout, whether because of grief or exhaustion from the stressors of life.

Takeaways:

1. Stress can be isolating, but you don’t have to deal with it alone.
2. People who provide care and solace to those who are grieving can experience stress, too–this is called compassion fatigue.

In this episode:

[2:18] Pete and Amber start the discussion by defining what stress really is. Amber explains how it can have physical manifestations, which are the body’s way of reacting to monumental changes and disruptions to our routines.

[10:12] The two explore the topics of burnout and compassion fatigue. They discuss how stress can also be experienced by those who provide support and comfort to those who are grieving after a loved one’s death.

[13:49] Amber and Pete talk about the different ways one can deal with stress and compassion fatigue, whether as an individual or with friends and family. Amber shares how there’s no one-strategy-fits-all approach, but small efforts such as taking short walks and setting little goals for the day can make significant impacts.

[20:11] Amber delves into the community component of dealing with compassion fatigue. She talks about how some organizations, such as care centers, are starting to implement initiatives such as prayer and debriefing sessions for the nurses who support the patients and their families.

[24:29] Pete and Amber discuss the negative impacts of social media and excessive use of mobile devices on one’s overall health and sleeping habits. They wrap up the episode by summarizing the Dos and Don’ts of dealing with stress and highlighting the importance of counseling.

Resources:

In this episode of Good Grief, Amber Miller and Pete Waggoner discuss local resources that can help those going through a difficult period of grief. Amber shares her knowledge and expertise on various types of resources such as counseling, support groups, and online platforms that can provide comfort and understanding during a time of loss.

Pete puts emphasis on the importance of breathing exercises and caring for one's mind as a tool for coping with grief. The two talk about different ways to approach the healing process, such as doing volunteer work and getting involved in the community. They also encourage listeners to reach out for help if needed and provide resources that they may find in their local area.

Whether you are looking for guidance, comfort, or just someone to talk to, this episode of Good Grief will offer helpful and reliable advice.

1. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to grief, and everyone may need different types of support.
2. Helping others can be a powerful way to cope with grief.

[0:45] Amber provides an overview of the resources available for grieving families and those whose friends are going through the process. She also enumerates the four things every grieving person must take into consideration: the mind, the body, the spirit, and the community.

[6:19] Pete highlights the importance of breathing exercises which can be a great source of inner calm and peace. The two talk about the different ways one can care for their mind other than therapy such as journaling.

[12:45] Amber discusses how doing volunteer work and forming bonds within the community can help with the healing process. Pete adds how the simple act of laughing with friends and fellow community members can be therapeutic.

[14:41] Pete and Amber share different resources and tips for those who have friends who are going through grief. From sending small tokens such as a plant, framed pictures, meals, and gift cards to simply showing up—they outline the many ways one can provide support.

In this episode of the Good Grief podcast, Amber Miller sits with host Pete Waggoner to discuss the topic of funeral personalization and how it can help people grieve. They explore why personalizing a funeral—from the flowers and decorations to the food after church service—can help the bereaved be reminded of their connection to their loved one, and how it can memorialize the legacies of those who have passed away. They discuss the different personalization options for funerals, and how to determine which elements are most meaningful. The episode also shares some tips on how to plan a personalized service that can provide a sense of comfort and closure.

1. It's in the meanings behind the elements of a funeral where personalization comes into play.
2. Grieving can be a creative and meaningful process.

[0:40] Pete brings up the question of using "are" versus "were" when referring to the deceased. Amber explains how using the present or past tense depends on what the loved ones are comfortable with but that the passing of someone does not take away who they have always been as a person.

[2:33] Amber and Pete go into the topic of funeral personalization and how it can help provide comfort to the bereaved. Amber shares how the unique parts of a funeral can bring healing and hope to the grieving family.

[7:44] The two talk about how flowers and decorations can be a major part of the personalization process and set the scene for the visitors during the service.

[13:51] Pete and Amber discuss how food can also be incorporated into the funeral and how it can be used to create a meaningful experience for the community. From having food trucks at the service to having a traditional dinner afterward, they explore how the food can be used to honor the life of their loved ones.

[19:01] Pete shares a story about how his sister's friends and family contributed to the personalization of her funeral. The two talk about how creativity and resources can be used to make a special service that reflects the personality of the deceased and engages the grieving loved ones.

O'Connell Funeral Homes' Amber Miller and host Pete Waggoner welcome the new year by discussing preplanning expectations in this episode of Good Grief. Amber shares her first-hand funeral experience with families whose deceased loved ones made it easier to prepare by taking the time to plan ahead of time. The two go into detail about the different aspects of prearranging—from the frequency and length of the sessions to the prepayment process and the specifics being discussed during the meetings. They also talk about how funeral pre-arrangement can be done in the comfort of home and how families can benefit greatly from this process.

This episode is a must-listen for those considering preplanning their funeral, as well as those who are already in the process of doing so. Because “A goal without a plan is just a wish,” as said by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry.

Takeaways:

1. Funeral pre-arranging lightens the load and grief of the mourning family.
2. Talking about death and funerals does not have to be uncomfortable.

In this episode:

[1:20] Pete Waggoner opens the discussion by asking Amber Miller what makes prearranging so important. Amber shares how she has encountered family members at funerals who are grateful that their deceased loved one or a relative has taken the time to plan ahead of time.

[4:29] Amber and Pete talk about where pre-arranging meetings usually take place. Amber also gives insight on how the conversation begins with the help of a deck of cards they have prepared for the purpose of guiding families throughout their discussion.

[8:23] Amber discusses the length of prearranging sessions and how frequent they should be. She mentions how it differs from family to family and that some clients finish their funeral preplanning in one meeting while others might require more.

[11:55] The two talk about the prepayment process and installment plans available. Amber reiterates that the prearranging process itself is 100% free and that it’s completely up to the family if they choose to pay for their funeral services in advance.

[14:06] Amber shares about O'Connell Funeral Homes' advance preplanning guide which may serve as a workbook that will walk families and individuals through the process of pre-arranging their funeral.

Resources

In this episode, Mike O'Connell and Amber Miller sit down with Pete Waggoner to discuss how one can be of assistance to those who are grieving. They explore the different ways a grieving person may behave and how we as outsiders can help support them through their journey. They also talk about the things one should avoid saying or doing when interacting with a person who just lost a loved one, particularly if the death was sudden or traumatic.

From the words of wisdom that can be shared, to the simple act of just being present, this podcast episode provides valuable tips for those who want to show they care.

Takeaways:

1. Sometimes, giving unsolicited advice and trying to fix the problem is not helpful for those who grieve. It is more important to be present, listen, and offer support in whatever way the grieving person needs it.
2. People move through their grief at different speeds and in different ways. It is important to be patient and understanding.

In this episode:

[2:25] Host Pete Waggoner starts the discussion by asking Mike and Amber about the important things a supporter or friend should know when helping someone through grief. Amber emphasizes how grief lasts longer beyond the funeral and how important it is for people to realize that the grieving process is different for everyone.

[6:07] The three talk about the importance of mentioning the name of the deceased to the grieving person. They share how important it is to keep the memory of the deceased alive and how saying their name can bring comfort.

[8:31] Pete asks Mike and Amber how they have gotten the wealth of knowledge they have in helping others through grief. The two mention how working closely with the families they serve has helped them gain a deep understanding of the grieving process.

[10:25] Amber talks about honoring the grieving person's wishes and being honest about what one can offer in terms of support.

[14:13] Amber answers Pete's question on how one can help a loved one facing imminent death. Mike shares some tips and insights on how one can help a person who is grieving a sudden or traumatic death.

Resources:

In this episode, Dr. Kirsten Severson along with Mike O'Connell and host Pete Waggoner explores the concept of advance directives and how they work. Dr. Severson provides a thorough explanation of the whole process and how these documents allow a person to make the tough decisions about their healthcare beforehand in case they are ever unable to do so. Mike O'Connell also gets candid about his own experiences and shares some insights on how advance directives can lift the burden off of families during difficult times.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone who wants to learn more about advance directives and how they can protect you and your loved ones.

Takeaways:

1. Planning your health care in advance can not only allow you to make your own decisions but also ease the burden on your loved ones during tough times.
2. Facing the reality of our own mortality can be scary, but having these conversations with our loved ones and healthcare providers is important.

In this episode:

[1:34] Pete Waggoner opens the discussion by asking Dr. Severson to define what an advance directive is. The doctor explains the two types of advance directives: the living will and the power of attorney for healthcare.

[10:02] Dr. Severson talks about how and where a person can get an advance directive. She also shares some specific websites and online platforms which a patient can download and print the necessary documents from.

[21:37] The three talk about how a person's advance directives will be used in the event that an unfortunate incident should happen outside of a hospital setting and where the first responders are not aware of the patient's written wishes.

[24:49] Pete asks Dr. Severson how the conversation typically begins when a person wants to start thinking about their advance directives.

[35:34] Mike and Dr. Severson share some final thoughts and advice for those who are thinking about making their own advance directives. They put emphasis on how these documents can help people lift the burden off of their loved ones in the event that they are unable to make their own decisions.

Resources

In this episode hosted by Pete Waggoner, Mike O'Connell and Amber Miller discuss the process of preplanning one's funeral and its multiple benefits. They go in-depth about the different aspects of funeral preplanning, from the finances to how the actual meetings are done with family members. They also talk about how death and grief can significantly impact those left behind, and how this process can help alleviate some of the burden. This episode provides listeners with a comprehensive look at funeral prearranging, and is an excellent resource for anyone considering this option.

Takeaways:

1. Preplanning is a great way to lighten the load for your loved ones after you're gone.
2. Grief and death can bring significant changes and challenges to families.
3. While having conversations about death can be difficult, talking about your wishes ahead of time can make things much easier for everyone involved.

In this episode:

[2:23] Pete opens the discussion by asking why people prearrange their funerals. Mike provides different reasons such as being forced to do so due to a terminal illness, wanting to have more control over their own funeral, or simply having the desire to relieve the burden from their loved ones.

[6:25] The three talk about the significant changes death can bring to a family and the challenges that usually arise. They also begin to discuss the financial aspects of prearranging and how it can lessen the burden on those left behind.

[11:35] Amber shares how funeral trust can be a great gift, both for oneself and their loved ones. They also talk about the two different ways to set up an irrevocable funeral policy.

[14:11] Pete asks about how families receive the information when it comes to funeral prearranging and how much detail is usually given. Mike and Amber talk about how the process and benefits are explained to the family, as well as how the meeting is set up and conducted.

[22:37] Amber and Mike discuss the different meeting setups they do with people who are willing to prearrange their funerals. They share how they sometimes visit homes and care facilities to make the process as convenient as possible for those who need their services.

Resources

In this episode, host Pete Waggoner goes in-depth with Kathleen Helgeson and Amber Miller about the topic of secondary loss and caregiver grief. They discuss the smaller subsequent losses that happen after the death of a loved one, and how a loss can impact one's roles and routines. They also delve into how to cope with the challenges that come with being a caregiver, as well as the grief it can bring before and after the death of the patient.

This episode is full of helpful tips and resources for those struggling with loss, as well as for those supporting someone through their grief journey.

Takeaways:

1. As a caregiver, having compassion for yourself is as important as having compassion for the person you are caring for.
2. Loss can come in many forms, and each one can have a significant impact on our lives.
3. It's important to allow yourself to grieve in whatever way feels right for you.
4. If you are struggling to cope with loss or grief, reach out for help from a friend, a professional, or a support group.

In this episode

[3:23] Amber begins the discussion by defining what secondary loss is and explaining how death encompasses more than just the physical loss of a loved one. Kathleen further elaborates on this concept by sharing how she has seen different forms of secondary loss play out in her work as a funeral celebrant.

[7:40] Pete Waggoner transitions the conversation to the topic of how loss can impact one's roles and routines. They all share their insights on how the death of a loved one can cause ripple effects that touch every aspect of our lives.

[13:02] Pete Waggoner asks about how a person can build a new support system after experiencing loss. Kathleen and Amber share their thoughts on the importance of seeking out help and being open to receiving support from others.

[23:50] The three talk about how caregivers can often experience their own grief journey while caring for someone else. They discuss the challenges that come with being a caregiver and how to find compassion for oneself to rediscover a sense of balance.

[34:48] Pete Waggoner wraps up the conversation by asking Kathleen and Amber to share some final tips to caregivers who might be struggling with their own grief. They both emphasize the importance of being patient and compassionate with oneself, as well as taking the time to feed one's own soul.

Resources

In this ‘scintillating’ episode of the Good Grief podcast, Mike O'Connell and Amber Miller of O'Connell Funeral Homes join Pete Waggoner to discuss funeral etiquette. They get into the nitty-gritty of the do's and don'ts of attending a funeral--from the proper attire, to the conversation topics that may be off-limits or offending to the grieving family. The two also share about the real-life scenarios they have encountered in their years of experience and how to best handle each situation.

The podcast offers an insightful and retrospective look into the essence of funerals and the proper way to honor the deceased while also providing comfort to the bereaved loved ones.

Takeaways:

1. Being respectful and considerate goes a long way when attending a funeral.
2. There is no one right way to grieve.
3. We can't assume what another person is going through, so it's important to be sensitive and compassionate.

In this episode:

[2:14] Host Pete Waggoner opens the discussion by asking if wearing black is a must at funerals. Mike O'Connell responds by sharing how the color has become a sign of showing reverence to the deceased and to those who are grieving. The guests also get into detail about the kinds of clothes that are and are not appropriate to wear to a funeral.

[9:15] Mike talks about the conversational topics that may not be appropriate to discuss at a funeral and how using the deceased’s name can be a way to show that they are being remembered. Pete further dwells into the topic by asking whether referring to the deceased in the past tense may be a sign of disrespect.

[13:33] Amber Miller discusses the different things to follow when attending a funeral such as being on time, where and when to enter when arriving late, and what to do when leaving early. Mike shares some ridiculous funeral stories he has encountered in his line of work to drive the point home.

[24:10] Pete starts the conversation on what one should say to the grieving family. Mike puts emphasis on the importance of being mindful of the questions one asks and how they should be phrased.

[35:56] The trio moves on to the topic of nonverbal communication and how body language can be interpreted by the grieving family. They also discuss what a memorial exactly is and the specifics of 'Thank You' cards.

Resources:

In this episode of The Good Grief podcast, Mike O'Connell and Amber Miller get into cemeteries' important role in providing a final resting place for people's loved ones. They discuss the process of creating these final resting places, from deciding on the type of burial to personalizing the space to create a meaningful and lasting tribute. They also dive into the details of securing a cemetery plot and what one can expect when visiting a loved one's final resting place. This episode provides listeners with an informative and compassionate look at the role of cemeteries in the grieving process.

Takeaways:

1. One's final resting place can be beneficial for the loved ones they have left behind, providing a space for grief and healing.
2. Cemeteries aren't just about providing a space for the deceased, but also about memorializing and honoring them.

In this episode

[2:29] Host Pete Waggoner asks about the importance of cemeteries given the rise of other forms of memorialization, such as keeping the cremated remains at home. Mike O'Connell shares about his personal experience of finding peace and an opportunity to memorialize his loved ones at cemeteries and talks about the role that these spaces play in the grieving and healing journey.

[5:49] Amber Miller talks about how finding peace in the daily hustle and bustle of life can be a challenge. She shares how the peace and solace that cemeteries offer is something that can be beneficial for people who are grieving or simply looking for a moment of respite.

[10:33] Pete asks Mike O'Connell about the differences between columbarium, crypts, and other types of burial options available these days.

[15:30] Amber talks about the different ways people can personalize their loved ones' markers and monuments, and how churches and cemeteries have different rules about what kind of items are allowed.

[22:48] Mike and Amber get into the details of what people can leave on their loved one's resting place such as wind chimes, trinkets, and plant stands. Mike also mentions how there are cemetery flower companies nowadays that even help with the upkeep of fresh flowers on the site.

Resources

In this episode of The Good Grief podcast, host Pete Waggoner sits with Mike O'Connell and guest, Lori Christopherson to discuss how tattoos can be used as a form of memorializing and honoring a loved one. Mike shares how he discovered Everence, a company that creates personalized tattoo ink additives with a loved one's DNA. Lori talks about her own healing process after the loss of her son and how Mike's suggestion of a tattoo was instrumental in her finding peace and closure. The episode offers listeners vulnerable and honest insight into how tattoos can be therapeutic for those working through grief and how the process of memorializing a loved one can be different for everyone.

Takeaways:

1. Every person grieves differently and there is no right or wrong way to do it.
2. Tattoos can be a helpful part of the grieving and healing process as they offer a physical, tangible, and lasting way to keep a loved one's memory alive.
3. The act of memorializing a loved one can be healing for both the person getting the tattoo as well as for those who see it and are reminded of the individual being honored.

In this episode

[1:25] Host, Pete Waggoner delves into the history of tattoos and how they were used as a form of protection from bad spirits and diseases, especially for pregnant women, thousands of years ago.

[3:31] Mike talks about how the loss of a loved one can make people feel powerless and how getting a tattoo can be a way of regaining a sense of control.

[8:46] Lori shares her experience in finding the perfect way to memorialize her son and how Mike has helped her in the process. She talks about the different options she's tried and considered such as a necklace pendant but ultimately decided that a tattoo would be the most meaningful for her.

[18:16] Lori further talks about her healing process after the loss of her son and how getting the tattoo has been an integral part of that.

[23:06] Pete Waggoner wraps up the show by asking Lori how grateful she is for the opportunity and what getting the tattoo has meant for her.

Resources:

There is no other job like a funeral director. In celebration of National Funeral Director and Morticians Recognition Day on March 11th, we would like to honor what funeral directors do for us. You don’t want just anyone to care for your loved one when they have passed on, you want someone empathetic, reverent, kind, and reliable to be there for you and your family.

Today's podcast highlights the team of funeral directors at O’Connell Family Funeral Homes. 

You'll hear answers to the following questions from Abbie Pickerign, Amber Miller, Mike O'Connell, and Austin Mahanke. 

• What inspired you to become a funeral director? 
• Have you ever felt like you wanted to change careers? 
• What are the misconceptions in this industry? 
• Are there any ghost stories you've encountered? 
• What are your hours? 
• Would you advise your bf to go into the business? 
• Tell us how you feel after a service is over. 
• How does pre-planning help a family? 

Listen now to learn more about the real lives of the funeral directors at O'Connell Family Funeral Homes and take a look at what a day in the life is like. 

How to help a grieving friend. 

In today's episode, Kathy Helgeson, a certified funeral celebrant at O’Connell Family Funeral Homes, joins us to discuss how to help a grieving friend.

What’s helpful.

What’s not.

How shifting your view could help you, as well as someone grieving the loss of a loved one.

Links:

Meet Kathy

Memorial Day is right around the corner so we created a podcast episode dedicated to the brave men and women that give so much to our country.

On this episode, we share an event we have coming up on May 27th - "Haircuts for Heroes". From 11AM - 3PM, we'll be offering haircuts to veterans and active military personnel at our Hudson Chapel. We'll also have food trucks and resources available, as well as tents, to prevent any rain from spoiling the fun! A special thank you to Your Hair Mob and All Seasons Rental of Hudson for donating their time and equipment to make this event possible!

Throughout the podcast, we discuss the origins of Memorial Day and the customs and traditions surrounding military funerals, such as the 3-volley rifle salute and the symbolism of the folds in the American flag. We also address some aspects regarding funeral etiquette at military funerals and the benefits that veterans might be entitled to, like reimbursements for funeral and cremation services.

Grieving over the loss of a loved one is already an unimaginable painful experience. But to go through it during the holiday season feels even harder, for many of us.

In today's episode, Kathy Helgeson, a certified funeral celebrant at OCFH, joins us in a heartfelt discussion regarding this sensitive topic. We talk about the difference between grief and mourning, what are the "tasks" of grief, how to approach those who are grieving, how to deal with grief during the holidays, the role of faith when we're grieving, etc.

We also share some personal stories of grief and how exactly our team helps our clients overcome these difficult times.

Links:

Meet Kathy

Hospice Care is a sensitive topic for many of us. As with pre-arranging a funeral, talking about hospice care can make us feel very uncomfortable; some of us might feel we are "giving up" on our loved ones when we begin to consider this specific approach.

The truth is, hospice care can bring relief and even joy to our loved ones. There is a multitude of ways that we can use hospice care programs, from the location, frequency, and services used, so it makes total sense to consider it for our loved ones.

In today's episode, our guest and social worker Kate Garza, from Moments Hospice, will discuss the specifics regarding hospice care and dispel some misconceptions about the topic.

We'll also discuss some tools that we're developing at OCFH, such as 12 questions for the holidays (a free PDF that will help spark interesting and important discussions these holidays), as well as a set of Grief-focused meditations that will bring you to a better place and help you let go.

Different types of loss and grief children and adolescents may experience and how we can help guide them.

You can’t push pause on grief.

COVID-19 has brought much distress to families all over the country and changed our daily lives tremendously. In these trying times, it's much harder to deal with the already stressful situations that affect us all, such as grieving the loss of a loved one.

In today's podcast episode, we talk about how we can deal with grief in these COVID-19 times and how our company is adapting our procedures to help everyone stay safe.

We'll also be sharing useful tips from our friend and colleague, grief therapist, Kelly Grosklags.