One of us is Board
By One of us is Board
One of us is BoardMay 06, 2024
Toy Story 4 (2019) - Pick up a Woody and Play with Him
Toy Story 4 (2019) kicks off the unnecessary sequel to the unnecessary sequel month, where we will be watching unnecessary sequels to necessary sequels. The concept is a little confusing so we thought we'd start easy. For example, Toy Story 2 (1999) is one of the best sequels of all time. Toy Story 3 (2010) gets away with it because of nostalgia. However, did we need another movie after that? We'll let you be the judge.
Join us next week as we watch Shrek Forever After (2010)
The Hunchback of Notre Dame II (2002) - Seduce the Local Bog Witch
The Hunchback of Notre Dame II (2002) concludes our unnecessary sequel month, and man is this is a weird one. Did you watch the end of The Hunchback of Notre Dame and despair that Quasimodo never got laid? No? Neither did we. However, Disney decided that this would simply not do so they made a pretty girl for him to go out with. Yes, he's just as shallow as everyone else. No local bog witch dating apps for him!
Join us next week as we watch Toy Story 4 (2019)
Titanic II (2010) - Cocktails! at the Discothèque
Titanic II (2010) is up next on our unnecessary sequels month! Oh? You thought it was going to be Space Jam: A New Legacy? Well, you must have heard wrong. After all, how could we pass up the opportunity to see a gigantic boat crash a second time? What a twist! Will this be the film that finally adds a 'bored' tally to Sam's list? How could it? Surely the stakes have never been higher?
Join us next week as we watch The Hunchback of Notre Dame II (2002)
Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget (2023) - It Just Is
Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget (2023) is the second film in our unnecessary sequel month. Does it deserve to be here? Probably. Tell us what happens in the first Chicken Run film. Quickly. See? Unless you're one of the top stans, you probably don't remember. Why is that the case? Well, the first one was made in 2000 and while it is good, it's never really been spoken of again in the wider public sphere.
Join us next week as we watch Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021)
Mulan II (2004) - One Alone Was Enough
Mulan II (2004) kicks off our Unnecessary Sequel Month, and we may have unnecessary sequel'd too close to the sun. For those not in the know, Mulan is Sam's favourite film ever. Which is why this horrific betrayal stings so much. Ever wanted to see your favourite characters turned into poor imitations of themselves? Just watch literally any Disney sequel, but especially this one. Can we find something redeeming? Listen and find out!
Join us next week as we watch Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget (2023)
Sharkboy and Lavagirl (2005) - Dream Dream Dream Dream (Dream Dream)
Sharkboy and Lavagirl (2005), otherwise known as The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D (2005), is the last film in our Childhood Fever Dream Month II: The Siblings Strike Back. It's been a fun dive into the very early 2000s, but all good things must come to an end. Will we be able to bore Calum to tears yet again? Here's hoping. Watching a 3D film without the 3D effects is going to help on that particular quest: that's for sure.
Join us next week as we kick off unnecessary sequel month with Mulan II (2005)
The Water Babies (1978) - Real Rats Can Sing
The Water Babies (1978) is up next in our Childhood Fever Dream Month II: The Siblings Strike Back. Alternate subheadings for this episode include; obesity to the rescue and racist tuna. So, you know you are in for a treat today. This is possibly the most fever-dream-like of all the films we have done this month, but a lot of that is probably down to it being a 70s release.
Join us next week for Sharkboy and Lavagirl (2005)
Barbie of Swan Lake (2003) - Somehow Like Veggie Tales
Barbie of Swan Lake (2003) is up next in our Childhood Fever Dream Month II: The Siblings Strike Back. Now, if you're a Barbie cinematic verse connoisseur like myself and my siblings (and my mum), you'll know that this is the inferior of the original four Barbie movies. It is, however, the most fever-dream-like one. There will be no wholesome duets about wanting to be a poor person, instead we have high-pitched noises. I do hope you're all enjoying this month, because Calum isn't, and isn't that a joy in itself?
Join us next week for The Water Babies (1978)
Aquamarine (2006) - Ohr nor the condensation!
Aquamarine (2006) is up next on Childhood Fever Dream Month II: The Siblings Strike Back. 2006 was the year of Mermaids, but Calum somehow missed out on all the fun. No worries though, as we are giving him a taste of it here! He's decided to show his age (72) in this episode, as he's back to clutching those pearls. This is apt because, well, Mermaids. Besides that, we frolic in the sun and fantasize about Raymond, so you're in for a treat this week.
Join us next week for Barbie of Swan Lake (2003)
Bratz Babyz: The Movie (2006) - Leapy, Jumpy, Porky, and Catty
Welcome to March and a brand-new theme month! This month we've given Sam's sisters the controls, and they've decided we're kicking off with Bratz Babyz (2006). As you can tell from this first pick, Childhood Fever Dream Month II: The Siblings Strike Back is going to be an adventure. If you're a fan of Foley artists, you will love this film! If you don't, and you're under the age of 30, you won't have any idea what we're talking about. It is on YouTube for free though!
Join us next week as we watch Aquamarine (2006)
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023) - GranDADDY
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023) wraps up our month of Indiana Jones, as sadly all good things must come to an end. This film isn't the most beloved of the series, but does it deserve all the hate it gets? Spoiler alert; no it doesn't. The 80s aren't coming back, you need to let them go. Move on. If you can manage that, you'll have quite a good time with this. Indiana Jones retires in Glasgow, and that's canon now.
Join us next week as we kick off Childhood Fever Dream Month Two: The Siblings Strike Back, with Bratz: Babyz the Movie (2006)
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) - Too Much Hair
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) is up next in our Indiana Jones month! We're back chasing another Christian artefact, only this time we have Sean Connery Jones along for the trip. He stans the grail harder than anyone else, so be ready for some criticism on that. We do have a treat for you as this episode is full of fun facts! Are we trying to entertain you, or set up reels? You'll never know.
Join us next week as we conclude our Indiana Jones month with Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) - Temple of Petty
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) is up next in our Indiana Jones month! You may have already heard us talk about this film on the Film vs Film podcast, where we lost. Watching this again for our podcast has made us realise that we were robbed of a win. You hear us, Martin? We should have won. Justice for the temple of petty, as Harrison Ford is at his peak here in so many ways.
Join us next week as we watch Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) - Tiny Danger Noodles
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) helps us to kick off our month of Indiana Jones. If anyone can think of a better name, please feel free to send it along. This week we are looking for the Ark of the Covenant and it is being guarded by many tiny danger noodles. Luckily, Calum is a fan of them, so we should be just fine to get our extreme face care routine on the go. After all, you can't have acne if you don't have skin.
Join us next week for Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)
Howl's Moving Castle (2004) - All You Needed to Do Was Love a Turnip!?
Howl's Moving Castle (2004) is the second and last film of our half-hearted Steampunk month! What a rollercoaster it's been, and thank goodness we have something so positive to end on. Sorry to all the fans of this film, for we never gave it a chance until now. We were wrong and we do perform a ukulele apology in the middle of this episode to stay tuned to hear that. However, if anyone can tell us why Sophie ages and de-ages randomly throughout the film, we would very much appreciate it.
Join us next week for a brand-new theme month!
Wild Wild West (1999) - People Ain't Smart In The Wild Wild West
Wild Wild West (1999) is our first official episode of 2024 and it kicks off our Half-hearted Steampunk Month! What a way to begin the year. Is it the most offensive film ever made? Not at all, but it certainly does try. If you have a niche kink for both spiders and steampunk, you're gonna have a fantastic time with this one. If you're a Calum, you're gonna have a less good time.
Join us next week for Howl's Moving Castle (2004)
Threads (1984) vs. When The Wind Blows (1986) - Having a Blast Celebrating Three Years of Us
Join us as we kick off our half-hearted Steampunk month with
Wild Wild West (1999)
Best. Christmas. Ever! (2023) - The True Meaning of Christmas
Best. Christmas. Ever! (2023) is our final film of our Christmas Inception month and our final episode of 2023. So, was it the best Christmas film ever? Of course not. We know what we're in for when it comes to these 90-minute Netflix Christmas films. However, it did lead to us discovering the true meaning of Christmas, and really, what more can you ask for?
Have a great Christmas and a fantastic 2024! Consider giving us the gift of a follow, so that you can be the first to know when we come back in January.
A Castle For Christmas (2021) - What Does Dan Brown Look Like?
A Castle For Christmas (2021) kicks starts our Christmas Inception fortnight. This week, and the next, we will be looking at Christmas Netflix films that are referenced in other Christmas Netflix films. A Castle For Christmas was featured in last year's Christmas film, Falling For Christmas. This one is set in Scotland so you get some bonus rants - don't say we don't treat you well.
Join us next week as we watch Best. Christmas. Ever (2023)
The Outfit (2022) - A Feast For The Eyes
The Outfit (2022) is the final film in our Dylan O'Vember month and, spoiler alert, we've decided to end on a high. For those who aren't long-term stans, you may not know that we have covered this film already. We did a quick episode after attending the UK premiere. So why did we watch it again? Because it's Dylan O'Vember and this is a top-tier film that deserves two episodes. Join us as we fangirl and watch Dylan hide in a box for half a film!
Join us next week as we start our Netflix Inception Christmas Month with A Castle for Christmas (2021)
Flashback (2020) - The Education of Fredrick Fitzell
Flashback (2020), known in an alternative reality as The Education of Fredrick Fitzell (2020), is our third film of Dylan O'Vember! This is a very trippy and confusing film that no one but Dylan O'Brien fans has heard of. So, why did we choose to talk about it? Well, because every Dylan O'Brien film deserves its time in the sun and also because we want our audience to reassure us that we aren't deeply unintelligent. Please watch this film and confirm that it is baffling (it's worth it for the ending sequence).
Join us next week as we watch The Outfit (2022)
Deepwater Horizon (2016) - B*tch Please
Deepwater Horizon (2016) is up next in our Dylan O'Vember month! This is a film based on the Deepwater Horizon explosion that happened in 2010, which we admittedly do not know much about. So please don't judge us when we get things wrong (like we usually do). Should this have been a film so soon after the disaster? Maybe not BUT ethics aside, we do get a lovely view of a mud-covered Dylan.
Join us next week as we watch Flashback (2020)
American Assassin (2017) - Let's Rapp This Up
We're watching American Assassin (2017), which only means one thing. Welcome to the best month of the year; dear listener it is officially Dylan O'Vember. We'll be celebrating Sam's favorite, by watching some of his less-known films and being very, very kind about them (Sam and Calum are definitely in agreement about this). Get ready for discussions of bad puns, celebrities, and radioactivity.
Join us next week as we watch Deepwater Horizon (2016)
The Faculty (1998) - Can We Join The Hive Mind Pls
It's almost Halloween, and we're watching The Faculty (1998) to conclude our Month of Dread. The Faculty isn't exactly a beloved horror classic, but will we love it anyway? We've had to suffer a bit to get through this month, so will baby Frodo stabbing aliens in the eye with a pen full of caffeine pills save the day? Well, at least this one is in colour and has spoken dialogue.
Join us next week as we kick off Dylan O'Vember with American Assassin (2017)
Gaslight (1944) - So Tiresome
Join us next week as we watch The Faculty (1998).
The Amityville Horror (1979) - Some Homes Have Hell In Them
The Amityville Horror (1979) is up next in our month of dread. The month's name has changed many times, but what's a Halloween month without some chaotic whimsy? You'll have to suffer through this episode, much like Calum and Sam have been suffering in real life; beware the snottery sick voice and tired tones of someone attempting a move. Much like the couple in this film actually; only with more swines and less axes.
Join us next week as we watch Gaslight (1944)
Nosferatu (1922) - Finger-sucking Creep
Nosferatu (1922) is the perfect inclusion to our Old School Horror month because you can't get much more old school than 1922! You can't do a Halloween month without watching the original horror template. Okay, so, we did do that for the two years prior but we've fixed it now. What we lack in dialogue, we make up for in plot holes, hamster teeth, genuinely spoopy acting, and creepy finger-sucking.
Join us next week as we watch The Amityville Horror (1979)
Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943) - Super-normal Cowardly Mob
It's October and you know what that means! It's time for the obligatory month of spoopy films! We're returning to the classics this time, starting with Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943). Much of our focus, as it always is with Frankenstein films, turned to the monotonous lives of the villagers. However, this time we were also delighted to find an anti-climatic ending to go alongside them. Oh, and a musical number: what joy!
Join us next week as we watch Nosferatu (1922)
Chicken Little (2005) - We Wish The End Would Come Sooner
Alas, we've now come to the end of Forgotten Disney Month. We conclude by watching the one film on this list that was a financial success, Chicken Little (2005). Despite having a financial impact, it made very little impact on our memories (other than the PS2 game loading screen). Join us as we watch this mean-spirited iteration of what is a very dull story to start with. Can this film be saved with baseball and aliens? You'll need to listen to find out!
Join us next week as we watch Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943) to kick off our obligatory Halloween month.
The Black Cauldron (1985) - Oracular Pigs and Witch's Tits
Welcome back to Forgotten Disney Month! This week we're watching The Black Cauldron (1985), the film that almost single-handedly destroyed Disney animation forever. Surely that means it must be amazingly awful? Nah, as far as Sword in the Stone rip-offs go, it's pretty unremarkable. Join us as we fumble our way through this episode, much like frog Fflewddur Fflam fumbles his way in and out of a witch's cleavage.
Then join us next week as we watch Chicken Little (2005).
Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001) - All Hail The Mighty Reader
Welcome back to Forgotten Disney Month, where we continue our journey through the dusty Disney vaults by watching Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001). How could an epic tale featuring Michael J. Fox and human sacrifice have been forgotten to the sands of time? Very easily as it turns out. Atlantis is the film that most people either haven't watched or aren't very fussed with. Why? Well, you'll have to listen to find out.
Make sure to join us next week as we watch another Forgotten Disney!
Treasure Planet (2002) - Brian Murray is... DEAD
Join us next week as we watch Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001)
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 (2011) & Part 2 (2012) - Introducing Samanthalum
Alas, dear listener, we have reached the end of Twaugust. We conclude our viewing of the Twilight series by watching Breaking Dawn Part 1 (2011) & Part 2 (2012). Now, we haven't exactly been stanning the Twilight series so far, but will Breaking Dawn surprise us? Spoiler alert; Yes. Whether it's a good or bad surprise is still to be determined. Make sure to vote in our poll so we can answer the very important question; Team Edward, or Team Jacob?
Join us next week as we start Forgotten Disney Month! Get Treasure Planet (2002) watched so you can join the conversation.
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010) - Poly-vampory
Welcome back to Twaugust! You're just in time to grab your nearest solar viewer as we watch Eclipse (2010). Finally, the Twilight Saga offers us an OTP that we can get behind. We're of course talking about Alice and Jasper. Unfortunately, we all still have a lot of vampire/werewolf love triangle shenanigans to sit through, so buckle up as we slowly slog through that.
Join us next week as we watch The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (2011) & Part 2 (2012)
The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009) - New Mewn
Welcome back to Twaugust, where we continue our journey through the Twilight Saga with New Moon (2009). We will need some feedback from the Twilight fans on this film, because honestly? Not a lot happens. Is this one popular amongst the fans? Anyway, if you're going through a breakup, this is either the best or the worst film for you to watch right now. However, if a pretty werewolf shows some interest in the meantime, we'd recommend just going for it.
Join us next week as we watch The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010).
Twilight (2008) - Peak Mary Sue
We're back! We bet you missed us because we missed you! We decided to jump back into the swing of things by watching a series neither of us has ever watched; welcome to Twaugust! We will catch up on our missed teenage experience this August and go through all the Twilight films. Calum has no clue where this series is going, so Twilight fans will get a kick out of hearing how wrong his predictions are. So join us as we watch the bluest film of the 2000s, Twilight (2008).
Then join us next week as we watch Twilight: New Moon (2009)
RRR (2022) - The Power of Friendship
You join us today for our last episode of World Cinema Month and our last episode before our much-needed Summer break. Don't worry though because we've left you with an actual treat. This week we travelled to India to watch RRR (2022). This was a big hit last year that somehow we both missed, as we want to do with obvious popular things. We are lowkey the hipsters of the film podcast populous. However, we did miss out on a great time in this case. Spoiler; this episode contains genuine enthusiasm and delight. Your regularly scheduled negativity isn't to be found here. Don't worry, we're sure it'll be back when we come back in August!
Leviathan (2014) - Why Are You Doing That?
Join us next week on a journey to India as we watch RRR (2022)
Y tu mamá también (2001) - Our most X-rated Episode Ever
It's Calum's Birthday! So, he decided we were going to enjoy some nice, friendly soft-core entertainment together; as friends do! You guessed it, this week we discussed Y tu mamá también (2001) otherwise known as And Your Mother Too (2001). While the obvious happens, this film has a lot of additional depth (lol). So, we get really deep in our discussions. Why don't you get deep with us? We'd love to hear your thoughts if you've watched this film. You'll probably be more eloquent than us awkwardly fumbling around discussing awkward fumbling.
Join us next week as we leave Mexico and head to Russia with Leviathan (2014)
Poetry (2010) - Possibly Me
Join us next week as we travel to Mexico and watch Y tu mamá también (2001)
Pokémon: Detective Pikachu (2019) - Rita Ora Can't Mean Good Things
All good things come to an end, including Video Game Month. We wrap it all up by watching Detective Pikachu (2019). It's also a bit of a continuation of Pokémon Month, as it is now officially our favourite Pokémon movie. It does, however, feature some really ugly renditions of the Pokémon you know and love. Also, like with all Pokémon movies, Mewtwo is central to the plot. For an overpowered Pokémon, he sure does get captured a lot. Hilariously, Rita Ora is part of the team that keeps him hostage, which is doubly embarrassing on his part.
Join us next week as we start our World Cinema Month with Poetry (2010)
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001) - How to Kill a Company in One Simple Step
Join us next week for Pokémon Detective Pikachu (2019)
The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023) - Both of us are Stans
Join us next week as we watch Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001)
Soul (2020) - 100 Episodes of One of us is Board
We interrupt our usual schedule to bring you a very special episode! We've made it to one hundred episodes of One of Us is Board, so we decided to celebrate by revisiting the very first film we reviewed; Soul (2020). The Soul episode is one that some people won't have had access to until recently. We decided to try some cool Spotify music features on that episode and quickly learned how limiting it was. This was a blessing because it stopped this podcast from becoming a self-indulgent radio station instead of a self-indulgent film podcast. It was so close to happening. We had an "our favourite albums of 2020" episode planned and everything. So, anyways, did Soul match up to how we remembered it? Did we even remember it? Listen and find out!
Join us next week as we watch The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)
Silent Hill (2006) - The Return of Useless
Join us next week for our 100th Episode! We're going to take a small break from video game month to revisit the first film we covered on this podcast; Soul (2020)
The Land Before Time (1988) - Don't Google “Daddy Topps”
Join us next week as we start a brand new theme month! We're going to be doing Video Game Movies again and we're starting with Silent Hill (2006)
Anastasia (1997) - Where is the Pneumonia?
Welcome back to Blupril, where we continue the month by watching Anastasia (1997). Otherwise known as the eff you to Disney Princesses that was made a couple of decades too late. Also, it's based on a grim historical event in which an entire family was slaughtered. No one said revolutions were pretty. Luckily, the glitter and music in this film are pretty, so we can move past that. However, we can't move past the amount of American 'good guys' living amongst the Russian 'bad guys' in this film. The people who didn't and did attempt Russian accents in this are sus is all we're saying. We've provided you guys with a bonus sexy voice at the very start of this episode; you're welcome.
Join us next week for The Land Before Time (1988)
All Dogs Go to Heaven (1989) - Charlie B. Barkin
Join us next week as we watch Anastasia (1997).
The Secret of NIMH (1982) - Is Timothy Even Worth Saving?
Goodbye Jeff Goldblum month, hello Don Bluth month! Welcome to Blupril! We kick off this month of dark children's movies with The Secret of NIMH (1982). If you haven't seen or heard of this before, think The Black Cauldron meets Watership Down. So, one of those weird semi-traumatic 80s children's movies that are weirdly boring for adults to revisit. However, there is a ton of voice-acting ASMR, so you do have that to look forward to (not from us). Yes, we miss Jeff. No, we don't want to talk about it.
Join us next week as we watch All Dogs Go to Heaven (1989)
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) - Double-dip Death Jeff
It is the end of Jeff Goldblum month, otherwise known as THE Birthday month. We finish our journey through Jeff with Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978). We were worried that maybe we wouldn't end with peak Goldblum because this film was relatively early in his career. However, we were overwhelmed with the amount of Jeff we received. It is simply too much Goldblum. Apparently, he toned it down after this one. What a month it has been. Do write in to let us know if you think we should rebrand to a permanent Jeff Goldblum tribute show. We will consider it.
In the meantime, join us next week as we watch The Secret of NIMH (1982) and begin our Don Bluth month!