The Companions Collective

Lynn Sehnert of Lance and Lili Photography covering the Washington, D.C., area takes the mic today and interviews Jessey Scheip, a licensed veterinary technician with a specialty in behavior.

Jessey also has training certification from the Karen Pryor Academy and has worked with Dr. Amy Pike of the Animal Behavior Wellness Center in Fairfax, Virginia.

That's where Lynn met Jessey, looking for help with her sweet boy Lance.

Jessey enjoys teaching pet guardians how to understand their pets and how to use behavior principles to ensure they grow together and live their best lives together.

Today, Lynn and Jessey have an in-depth discussion about canine cognitive disorder.

What to listen for

• How Jessey fills a void between veterinary behaviorists and standard trainers
• What symptoms should pet guardians watch for to notice CCD
• Why pet guardians should track their pets' health changes
• Treatment options for canine cognitive dysfunction
• When to decide it's time to say goodbye

Where to find Jessey

Are we doing better? And can we do better yet?

These are the questions I had for Dr. Dani McVety, the cofounder of Lap of Love Veterinary Hospice and In-Home Euthanasia with Dr. Mary Gardner. Lap of Love is a national network of veterinary doctors who offer hospice care and peaceful euthanasia in the comfort of a pet's home.

When Dani was prepping a family for a euthanasia one night at the emergency clinic where she was working shortly after graduating from veterinary school, her client said, "Please, can you leave her on my lap? I don't want her on that cold sterile table. I want her right here with me."

That wasn't clinic policy, though.

Dani said yes. And it was at that moment, she knew that's what every pet deserves, to be in the place where they are most comfortable … their guardian's lap.

Lap of Love was born, and now 15 years later, Dani and her cofounder are advocates for ways the veterinary world can improve the euthanasia process for pets and their families.

After all, the word "euthanasia" is Greek for "eu," or easy, and "thanatos," or death.

Easy death.

Let's find out what that really means.

What to listen for

• How end of life care has evolved for veterinarians
• The importance of honoring a pet's journey
• Why pet guardians need a comfortable, supportive space
• How a better experience can shift the end of life process
• Normalizing hospice care in veterinary medicine

Where to find Dr. Dani McVety

I've struggled a while with addressing this topic.

I don't have human children, never wanted one. So who was I to host a podcast on how to talk to kids about the family pet dying?

But I remembered that all I had to do was put on my old journalist hat and ask the right questions.

First question: who can answer those questions?

Of course, my good friend Coleen Ellis of Two Hearts Pet Loss Center can. Coleen is also my mentor in pet loss grief companioning.

With Dr. Mary Gardner, cofounder of Lap of Love Veterinary Hospice, Coleen has written two books to guide children through their grief. Both are called "My Forever Friend."

One is for saying goodbye to a special dog and the other for saying goodbye to a special cat. Each one contains activities for parents and children to work through together.

Coleen, who also doesn't have skin children, a term I learned from Coleen, is quite easily the kind of person you can trust to accompany your kids on this grief journey.

She's dynamic and engaging and most importantly empathetic and compassionate.

What to listen for

• How Coleen guides children through their grief with a collaborative, empathetic approach
• The importance of letting children grieve and process their emotions their own way
• Why we should use clear language when discussing death with children
• Involving children in the planning for and day of euthanasia

Where to find Coleen

You might not want to believe what I'm about to tell you … brace yourself.

Running an animal rescue isn't all glamour, snuggles and magical puppy breath.

I know, right? Shocking.

Running an animal rescue can be incredibly challenging, logistically and emotionally. On one hand, there's an immense satisfaction and joy in providing a safe haven for animals in need, giving them a chance at a better life.

On the other hand, it comes with a heavy responsibility of making decisions to end an animal's life.

The simple reality is -- and it's going to be a tough one to hear -- not every life can be saved. There may be cases where euthanasia is the most humane option, whether due to illness, injury or behavioral issues.

These decisions weigh heavily on the shoulders of those running a sanctuary, as they must balance compassion with practicality and often limited resources.

Amy Castro of Starlight Outreach and Rescue in Friendswood, Texas, joins us today to talk about the ongoing burden of making those decisions.

Amy is a people management and communications expert who coaches organizations on leadership building. While volunteering at one of her local rescues, she felt prompted to start her own in 2017.

With upwards of 40 animals on her 7-acre property at any given time, Amy has developed a relatively thick skin when it comes to making end of life decisions.

But that doesn't always make it easy.

What to listen for

• Amy's inspiration for Starlight Outreach and Rescue
• The factors Amy considers before euthanizing a rescue animal
• The importance of making humane decisions for each animal
• The emotional impact of running a rescue and sanctuary
• How Amy strives to educate pet guardians about their responsibilities

Where to find Amy and Starlight Outreach

I'm a word nerd.

I took linguistics courses toward my bachelor's degree and I've been a professional writer for more than 30 years.

Words matter to me.

And recently I've been spending a lot of time thinking about the language and words we use around death, loss and grief, particularly when we're talking about our companion animals.

So I brought back my fellow word nerd and friend of the pod, Beth Bigler, for her third appearance.

Beth, who has become so well known for her Instagram account, @honoringouranimals, is a certified pet loss grief counselor and pet chaplain.

She holds bachelor's and master's degrees in arts and has over 20 years of experience in film, including in writing. Heck, she's even an instructor at New York Film Academy in their screenwriting and producing departments.

Beth even uses writing in her counseling, helping her grief clients navigate their journey of love and loss with their pets through the power of story.

What to listen for

• Some of our terminologies with pet loss grief are old-fashioned
• Our beliefs about death influence the way we talk about it
• The challenges of language when discussing death
• Our words can create moments of self-compassion and self-loathing
• Why we hate the terms "pet loss grief" and "end of life pet photography"

Where to find Beth

Erica's back!

Erica Messer is the genius behind Wolfie's Wish, an online resource for pet guardians in grief.

It started with a deck of cards, simple pieces of guidance or affirmations that a grieving pet guardian can look to for a little help in getting through the day.

We're back with Dr. Kyle Bohland from the Ohio State University Veterinary Medical Center.

Last week, we talked about the behavioral issues that seems to be becoming more common in our companion animals.

Today, we're exploring the complex issue of behavioral euthanasia. We talk about the signs that might prompt such a decision and the factors involved in the process.

Dr. Bohland emphasizes the importance of considering our pets' quality of life and safety, along with the quality of life and safety of the humans who share the home.

Dr. Bohland highlights how the decision to euthanize on the basis of behavioral issues requires teamwork from the pet guardian and their veterinarian.

What to listen for

5:23 How to decide it may be time for behavioral euthanasia

11:45 The considerations a veterinarian might have around behavioral issues

15:00 Having a conversation with your vet about behavioral euthanasia

19:09 When your vet might start that conversation

32:13 The impact behavioral euthanasia has on the veterinary world

Where to find Dr. Bohland

The Dog Aging Project is a groundbreaking initiative that seeks to unravel the mysteries of aging in dogs and, by extension, gain insights into the aging process in humans. Launched in 2018, this collaborative effort involves researchers from various institutions, including the University of Washington School of Medicine and Texas A&M University. The project is designed to be the most extensive study of canine aging, with the aim of improving the health and well-being of both dogs and humans.

At the heart of the Dog Aging Project is a longitudinal study that follows the lives of thousands of dogs over several years. By collecting comprehensive data on various aspects of a dog's life, including genetics, lifestyle and environment, researchers hope to identify factors that contribute to longevity and healthy aging. The ultimate goal is to develop interventions and treatments that can enhance the quality of life for both aging dogs and aging humans.

One key aspect of the project is the inclusion of citizen scientists—dog owners who actively participate by providing information about their pets. This crowdsourced approach not only facilitates data collection on a massive scale but also fosters a sense of community among dog owners who share a common interest in understanding and improving the aging process for their furry companions.

Dr. Kate Illing, one of the research veterinarians with the project—and who hails from my favorite city in the whole wide world, Calgary, Alberta—joins us today to chat about the Dog Aging Project and in particular the research she's doing on rapamycin.

What to Listen For

4:24 Kate's journey from engineering to veterinary medicine

7:51 The mission behind the Dog Aging Project

15:06 Kate's research into anti-aging drug rapamyacin

19:01 Who can enroll in the Dog Aging Project

Sign Up for the Dog Aging Project

Joy is a stupid word.

Or at least it feels that way when you're living with grief. Very little feels like "joy" or "happiness" when you're bound by this complexity of navigating a whole new world without your companion animal.

Our host, Angela Schneider of Big White Dog Photography in Spokane, Washington, explores the challenges we face in grief, especially when we're faced with people who want us to be more positive and, ahem, "get over it."

But the cult of positivity doesn't serve everyone.

Angela emphasizes the importance of acknowledging our feelings, embracing the emptiness we feel and redefining the word "joy" in our new world.

Remember, it's OK to not conform to societal expectations. Finding contentment in the present moment may be the only way you need to feel right now.

What to listen for

2:43 Is the real work to be happy or simply to be alive?

5:00 Why the words "joy" and "happy" might feel uncomfortable

8:00 The experience of witnessing someone else's grief

9:45 Steps you can take to find your peace

If you need extra help

Losing our pets is a deeply emotional experience, and navigating the grief that follows is an essential aspect of self-care. Pets become precious members of our families, offering unconditional love and companionship. Coping with their loss requires acknowledging and processing the complex emotions that arise.

Our own self-care during pet loss grief becomes crucial. Our grief isn't just overwhelming and confusing, it's also exhausting. Our tanks run empty because all of our energy is funneled into the pain and sorrow we're feeling.

Facing the holidays while grieving the loss of your pet can be an emotionally challenging experience.

Our companion animals hold a special place in our hearts, serving as best friends, the most important member of our support network and a huge source of unconditional love.

During the holiday season, traditions and celebrations may trigger memories of shared moments with our pets, intensifying the sense of loss.

Their absence can create a profound void, making it difficult to fully engage in festive activities. The holiday spirit, typically associated with joy and togetherness, can feel tinged with sadness.

The holidays can also amplify feelings of loneliness and isolation. The companionship and comfort our pets provide are irreplaceable, and the void left by their absence can be acutely felt during a time when the emphasis is on connection and togetherness.

We're releasing this episode a couple of days early in case you need to hear it on Thanksgiving morning.

Our host and pet loss grief educator Angela Schneider shares 10 strategies you might want to try to get survive these next few weeks.

What to listen for

00:43 Angela's struggles with the holidays
3:13 10 strategies for coping with the holidays
5:11 Where to look for support
7:53 Why it's OK to cry during the holidays

Your discount codes

Welcome to One Last Network and the Art of Being Kind to Your Vet.

Dr. Lianna Titcombe is the founder and owner of Claire Place Veterinary Hospice in Ottawa, Ontario, one of the first practices in Canada devoted to end-of-life care for companion animals.

You may remember her from The Art of Checking Your Phone. Lianna is one of the veterinarians who have contributed to the pet loss grief content in Help Texts, an SMS-based service to help people cope through loss and grief.

On the subject of animal hospice and palliative care, she is an author, speaker, educator and mentor. She is the past president of the International Association for Animal Hospice and Palliative Care and is still active with their international committee.

She participates in volunteer missions to provide veterinary care to underserviced communities both locally and in developing countries.

And she has been the director of the Pet Loss Support Group of Ottawa for over 20 years.

In getting to know each other, Lianna and I learned we were both in the 2022 cohort for David Kessler's grief educator program.

Her true passion is the art of gentle euthanasia and in 2021, became the international director and instructor for Companion Animal Euthanasia Training Academy.

After 20 years in veterinary medicine, she has retired from clinical practice to focus on education. She's also a certified yoga instructor and compassion fatigue professional, who is offering grief retreats to people living with loss.

Today, we have an in-depth conversation about the veterinary field, euthanasia and the vet-pet guardian relationship.

What to listen for

3:29 How Lianna's mom and dog George drive her to improve the death experience

7:12 Why planning the end can make it more peaceful

17:47 Veterinary burnout versus client expectations

26:44 The financial challenges of pet health care

38:04 The emotional impact of euthanizing pets as a veterinarian

Where to find Dr. Lianna Titcombe

While much of our content on this podcast caters to senior pet care and the grief we endure in the days leading up to and after our last farewells, I love to bring you information about end of life pet photography sessions … with professional photographers.

Nestled on an 11-acre farmland in Rutledge, Georgia, sits a special rescue for dogs.

The dream for pet and horse photographer Courtney Bryson, whom you may remember from The Art of Finding the Perfect Imperfect, and her wife Renee Ussery began when they helped on a hoarding case in August 2011.

There were 35 Boston terriers, pugs and buggs, or Boston-pug mixes, in crisis. Local rescues teamed up and needed just six days to coordinate transportation and fosters for each dog. But first they had to wait in a non-climate-controlled and very crowded municipal shelter. Six to eight dogs were in each kennel and they were all suffering from mange, flea infestations and illnesses. More than half contracted parvo and died.

Courtney and Renee launched their mission: to look for land where they could build a short-term emergency shelter for dogs in crisis. They purchased their property in October 2012 and launched the Rescue Ranch with 17 indoor kennels, each with its own outdoor dog run, and space for veterinary exams.

And over there in the corner, you'll see a memorial garden for the pets they took in and never left.

As the Rescue Ranch evolved in this last decade, Courtney and Renee are rising to the challenge of working with medically fragile and hospice animals.

Which means they have to say goodbye … often. Sometimes sooner than they expected.

Today, they share with us a conversation they have about the challenges of facing grief as often as they do. Have a listen.

What to listen for

5:23 The first hospice dog they cared for

8:19 Caring for and losing medically fragile dogs

10:10 Making the decision to end a dog's life

13:01 Giving each dog a full life

18:30 The emotional impact of losing a dog

23:40 How grief manifests in rescue work

Where to find Courtney and the Rescue Ranch

The big thing I love about today's guest is how she stresses the power of our relationships with our dogs.

Dr. Julie Buzby has been an integrative veterinarian for nearly 20 years. She earned her certification from the American Veterinary Chiropractic Association in 1998 and from the International Veterinary Acupuncture Society in 2002.

She blends traditional Western medicine with alternative therapies and creates out-of-the-box tools for pet guardians to understand and improve their dogs' health and quality of life.

She invented ToeGrips, synthetic sheaths that cover the dogs' toenails and assist with traction and mobility.

The blog on ToeGrips.com is an incredible resource for all pet guardians, but especially for us pet guardians whose companion animals are entering or have entered the senior stage.

Today, she guides us through the concerns we need to have as guardians of senior dogs and how to recognize the more telling signs that something might be wrong.

Make sure you stay tuned to the end for a special discount code from Dr. Buzby.

What to listen for

0:20 Dr. Buzby's passion for veterinary and holistic medicine

4:12 How ToeGrips can help your dog move around the house

9:31 The signs we need to watch for in our senior dogs

18:18 Changes we can make around the house to help our senior dogs

25:45 The factors that affect a dog's longevity

32:19 How to maintain our dogs' dignity in their golden years

Where to find Dr. Buzby

One day, Sheryl Green realized people-pleasing was getting her nowhere.

She had trouble saying no to friends and family, until she hit the old metaphorical brick wall.

That's when she discovered what a boundary is.

When Sheryl was growing up, she dreamed of becoming an FBI profiler and hunting down serial killers. A wicked cool job that would have been, if you ask me … I mean, I've seen almost every episode of Criminal Minds … at least until Shemar Moore left the show.

She earned a master's in forensic psychology until she realized she'd rather not spend her days inside the minds of criminals.

Her path took her instead to mental health, customer service, public relations, education and the nonprofit world, including animal rescue.

As a relationship expert, she has now authored six books, including "Surviving to Thriving: How to Overcome Setbacks and Rock Your Life," "A Pet Parent's Guide to First Aid and Prevention" and "You Had Me at No: How Setting Healthy Boundaries Helps You Banish Burnout, Repair Relationships and Save Your Sanity."

I brought Sheryl on to the podcast to talk about exactly that. Boundaries. Especially the boundaries we need to set and maintain when we're facing or healing from the loss of our best fur friends.

What to listen for

4:19 How others can be inappropriate with our grief

9:30 What boundaries are and why they matter

15:01 How to assert your boundaries

21:10 Why having a "boundary buddy" can help

35:04 How standing up for ourselves maintains our self-worth

Where to find Sheryl

Welcome to One Last Network and The Art of Finding the Love We Deserve.

Julie Schurr has been a member of the LGBTQ2S+ community for more than 25 years. She has served the queer community in a number of ways, including educator, entertainer and advocate.

An expat American living in Spain, Julie seeks to continue uplifting her chosen family through mindset and growth coaching, with a focus on grief. Along with her certification in coaching, she is accredited in cognitive behavioral therapy and rational emotive behavioral therapy. She also holds a master's in linguistics.

The queer community is drastically underserved in so many ways. Its members face experiences that those who identify as nonqueer will never understand. Those experiences -- often coupled with profound loss -- can bring stress, grief and lack of focus.

Julie wants to help her community overcome those feelings and remind her family members that they have the strength to do so.

I reached out to Julie because I have so many friends in the queer community, friends who have endured loss … friends who have endured the loss of pets.

And I know from my own perspective how isolating grief and loss can be but I wanted us to better understand the loneliness and isolation that our queer brothers and sisters experience when they say goodbye to their best fur friend.

Have a listen.

What to listen for

6:36 How Julie fought for LGBTQ2S+ students as a teacher

11:48 The microaggressions and discrimination Julie faces daily

24:03 When Julie met Avery, the love she deserves

34:07 How the love of pets can fill the void of loss

47:10 How health care practitioners and allies can do better

Where to find Julie

Rev. Jennifer Cormier is a grief coach and earth-based ceremonial artist who brings 20 years of experience in the healing arts to help her clients move through life transitions and grief. 

She is committed to the revolution of how we view death and walk with grief. The creator of a program called Walk Through Grief with Grace, she wants us all to shift our perspective to include our body in our grieving processes and see grief as a creative collaborator in our lives. 

That's when we open the door to healing and peace. 

Jenn joins me today to discuss grief and grace and how we can use creative writing, nature, movement and more to release the pain of grief and bring us closer to healing.  

What to listen for 

1:44 Jenn's personal journey with grief and her dad's cancer 

13:46 The difference between running away and questing 

17:36 Finding comfort in movement and activity 

22:25 Jenn's emotional attachment to a car 

27:50 How to allow grief to move through the body and mind 

31:55 Why creative expression can facilitate healing from grief and loss 

Where to find Jenn 

In a world that often feels fast-paced and impersonal, dealing with grief can be an isolating and challenging experience. Go back to episode 49, The Art of Exploring the Loneliness Within, to hear my thoughts on why that isolation becomes compounded when we lose our beloved pets.

When a companion animal leaves our physical world, our grief is profound and often misunderstood by people who haven't experienced such a bond, including those who may be closest to us.

Recognizing this need for specialized support, Help Texts -- an innovative SMS-based grief support service -- recently released a segment dedicated to help individuals like us manage our pain and sorrow.

Help Texts makes a significant impact in the realm of grief support, providing a confidential and accessible platform for us to find solace and guidance during such a difficult time. It uses the simplicity and ubiquity of text messaging to deliver timely and empathetic support to people like us who may be struggling to find inclusive support or an appropriate outlet for our grief.

The pet loss grief segment demonstrates the organization's commitment to addressing diverse forms to grief and fostering a compassionate and understanding community.

Melissa Lunardini, head of clinical at Help Texts, and Lianna Titcombe, a certified hospice and palliative care veterinarian out of Ottawa, Ontario, and one of Help Texts' expert contributors, join me today to fill us in on all the details.

What to listen for

4:48 The beginning and intention of Help Texts

10:07 How Help Texts tailors messages to grief stages

19:58 The importance of grief support, especially in anticipatory grief stages

22:39 Why pet loss grief must be normalized and validated

27:57 The differences between generations and cultures when grief strikes

40:08 How Help Texts is changing the way grief is perceived

Where to find Help Texts

After the death of her son Jimmy in 2014, Margo Fowkes (Folks) created Salt Water, a blog and online community that provides a safe harbor for those who are grieving the death of someone dear to them. Inspired by Jimmy’s determination to live a rich, full life despite his cancer diagnosis, Salt Water’s articles and other resources focus on healing and building a new life in the aftermath of a devastating loss.

Margo is also the founder and president of OnTarget Consulting, Inc., a firm specializing in helping organizations and individuals act strategically, improve their performance and achieve their business goals. She works with clients to solve problems of productivity, morale and innovation. 

Margo recently released her first book, Leading Through Loss: How to Navigate Grief at Work, and she coaches leaders on how to create a more compassionate culture by acknowledging and speaking openly about grief and loss in the workplace.

That's what we're talking about today: how to navigate grief in the workplace, from the perspective of the person in grief to her coworkers and her management team.

But particularly from the context of pet loss grief. I remember at one of the newspapers I worked at decades ago, one of our graphic designers had to say goodbye to her horse. She took her year's worth of vacation, two weeks.

And I'll fully admit I didn't get it then. It took the pain of losing Shep for me to understand the depth of pain, and I wasn't working at the time. I was home alone and I remember yearning to have a job at the time -- not just to keep me busy but also to have a community around me, even if it might not have been as supportive as I needed it to be at the time. Because pet loss grief is disenfranchised and might not rank as worthy in the eyes of many who don't get it.

We talk about that, too.

What to listen for

3:10 What drove Margo into the grief business

7:32 How we carry our grief into the workplace

11:35 How we can create a more supportive workplace

15:41 What can management teams do to help employees in grief

28:24 The essential elements of providing support in the workplace

Where to find Margo

Dennis Wormald loves to find creative ways to educate dog owners on the misconceptions of dog behavior.

Based in Melbourne, Australia, Dennis has a Ph.D. in veterinary medicine, focused on canine anxiety. As a vet, he exclusively treats dogs with mental health conditions and come to him with a wide range of behavior issues, such as aggression or separation anxiety.

He recently published his first book titled "A Dedication to Difficult Dogs," which gives a fresh perspective on canine mental health, covering common misconceptions of dog behavior, punishment versus training, and ownership vs. guardianship of dogs.

I reached out to Dennis to talk about the mental health conditions that can become present in our dogs as they age, wanting to learn more about cognitive decline and how we as pet guardians can allow our dogs to age gracefully.

What to listen for

3:25 How Dennis defines "reactivity" in dogs

6:45 Why a dog's first few vet visits can affect the rest of her life

18:13 How to identify cognitive decline and other medical conditions

24:06 The importance of consistently interacting with your dog

31:25 Treatment options for dogs with cognitive decline

36:16 Changes you can make in your home to help your senior dog

Where to find Dennis

A few weeks ago, I drove out to the northwest side of Spokane, so far northwest I was at the tip of the beautiful Riverside State Park.

I met with Kit and Pete Jagoda, the founders of River's Wish Animal Sanctuary. River's Wish saves animal lives through rescue, education and advocacy. Kit and Pete strive to treat animals as individuals and to express their wonder and plight through visual art forms, from painting to jewelry-making.

The sanctuary is named for River, a dog who inspired Kit and Pete to do more for animals. River left their physical world in 1999 but he left an indelible stamp on their hearts, moving them to dream for a world in which every creature is able to live a full and joyful life.

Kit and I have a terrific discussion about the motivation she found in her grief for River, the constant state of anticipatory grief in which she exists, and why we must learn to see each animal's spirit and personality.

What to listen for

2:18 The year Kit's eyes were opened to animal care

6:34 How a rescue dog became the center of her life

14:58 The devastation of losing River to cancer

25:28 How Kit lives in a state of anticipatory grief

33:19 Why we must see animals as individuals

Where to find River's Wish

Grief can bring with it periods of loneliness and isolation.

Some may choose to find comfort in messages, hugs and social interactions after their pet's death, while others may need solitude to process their emotions and memories.

Many dogs come to Dr. Masami Seplow after injury or when age is starting to attack their old bones and muscles.

She gets them walking again.

Dr. Seplow was born and raised in Japan where she earned her bachelor's degree in sociology and then moved to Miami, Florida, where she was working on her master's in Hospitality Management.

Then she heard the call of the wild.

Or rather the howl of a dog. Maybe the mew of a kitten.

She decided to be a veterinarian before receiving her degree. She turned her attention and got her degree as a Doctor of Veterinary Medicine at the University of Florida's College of Veterinary Medicine.

While working as a general practitioner at a 24-hour hospital, Dr. Seplow decided to become certified in acupuncture and Chinese medicine, which she has been practicing for more than 15 years. She received another certification in canine rehabilitation in 2015.

She is particularly interested in geriatric medicine and food therapy, in addition to rehab and Chinese medicine, because all of these modalities are positive and gentle.

Dr. Seplow describes herself as the Crazy Chihuahua Lady. She has rescued five: Ellie, Lucas, Romeo, Juliet and Millie.

This week, Kylee Doyle of Kylee Doyle Photography in Sacramento interviews Dr. Seplow about rehab, Chinese medicine and her work at the Sierra Ranch Veterinary Clinic and Pet Rehabilitation Center in Roseville, California.

What to listen for

4:14 When it's time to see a rehab vet like Dr. Seplow

7:14 Get the most out of your dog's rehab plan

13:24 Acupuncture can benefit your dog's recovery

18:26 Why you should always be touching your pet

20:44 How to check for changes in your dog's physical condition

Resources

Welcome to One Last Network and The Art of Joy and Pain.

One Last Network has a mission to provide you with the support and services you may need as your pets enter their twilight years and ultimately leave our physical world.  

We are all pet photographers, and we are one of the services we encourage you to find so that you create beautiful, everlasting memories of the love you have for your best fur friend.

Many of us, too, have become educated in what grief means and how we can best support you as you walk a path with your pet which can be overwhelming, confusing and emotional.

I became a pet loss grief companion through Two Hearts Pet Loss Center and a grief educator through David Kessler and Grief.com so I could teach my fellow pet photographers to do just that.

We have a profound appreciation for the love you have for your pets. Many of us have loved and lost.

And we can play a unique role in your support system as you're taking these last adventures with your beloved pet. We can be your shoulder to cry on when it feels like you have no one else in your life to understand.  

At your photo shoot, too, we know how to strike a balance between all the things you're feeling -- the sorrow, the pain, the confusion -- and how to celebrate the life of your pet and the deep bond you've created with that being. 

That's what we're talking about today. That delicate balance.  

I've gathered some of the photographers of One Last Network -- and many of them are now pet loss grief specialists -- together to chat about how we approach our end of life photography sessions so that you have beautiful artwork and images and support in your grief.

You will hear from:

Welcome to One Last Network and The Art of Shuffling the Deck.  

Erica Messer encountered tragedy in 2020. Just months after finding her soul cat, Wolfgang, he had an accident and left her physical world.  

Her grief was overwhelming, especially since it was complicated with mental health issues. 

Wolfgang's death broke her in many ways. 

But like kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing ceramics with gold, she put herself back together and found her way down a new path, helping others see light through the darkness of their grief. 

In her own grief, she went searching for something simple that would help her focus on her healing.  

She found nothing suitable. 

In consultation with her mum, Bonnie, Erica put her whole heart in developing Wolfie's Wish, her own simple product, a deck of pet loss grieving cards. Each card carries a message, an instruction, an affirmation for dealing specifically with pet loss and the grief that accompanies it. 

The cards were first runner-up in the Accessories and Gifts category for the Best New Product awards at Superzoo, a large pet industry trade show, in 2022. 

The cards are just the beginning of the empire Erica wants to build as she steps forward into this new life of pet loss grief and being of service to pet guardians around the world.  

What to listen for 

4:06 Why Erica sought professional help for her own grief 

12:20 Erica's mission to help others in their grief 

21:25 Learning to talk to people in a more empathetic way 

32:01 How Erica finds new ways to support people in grief 

37:29 How to give someone grieving space to feel 

Where to find Erica 

One Last Network founder Angela Schneider digs deep into the complex, intertwined emotions of guilt and grief. 

Angela is a grief educator certified by David Kessler and grief.com and a pet loss grief companion certified by Two Hearts Pet Loss Center.

Losing a pet can be an incredibly challenging and heartbreaking experience, and understanding the psychological aspects behind guilt and grief can help us navigate this difficult journey.

The loss of a pet has a profound impact on our lives. Our pets become cherished family members, offering unconditional love, companionship and joy.

Losing them brings a number of complex emotions. We are often tortured in our grief by feelings of guilt, wishing we could have done more.

The sad reality is, though, that our pets don't live as long as we would like them to.

Listen as Angela offers her personal experience and some thoughts on how to confront your feelings of guilt as you grieve the loss of your pet.

What to listen for

2:23 Why losing a pet is so difficult

4:06 How self-blame can determine the way we grieve

5:40 Why we feel guilt after our pets die

9:14 How a bucket list can help us prepare

11:13 How to confront your feelings of guilt

Resources mentioned in this episode

Julie Gass of MSPCA-Angell in Boston is a veterinary social worker, who started her career in human medicine, working with serious illness and grief. She provided end of life and bereavement support to patients and their families at Mount Auburn Hospital but then turned to end of life care for pets and their families.

She's combined her love of animals and her passion for helping people to heal from loss and trauma.

With Darlene, Julie sheds light on the crucial yet often overlooked field of pet hospice care. With deep empathy and compassion, Julie helps pet owners navigate the painful process of saying goodbye to their beloved animal companions.

And through her insights and experiences, she illuminates the profound bond between humans and their pets and the importance of providing support during the final stages of a pet's life.

Julie breaks down the emotional challenges faced by pet owners as they prepare to say goodbye and emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and validating the grief experienced by these individuals.

All while guiding these humans to make one of the hardest decisions we have to make as pet parents.

Find Julie and MSCPA

Grief comes with a set of complex, profound emotions, and anger is a particularly intense one.

In this week's episode, One Last Network founder Angela Schneider launches a monthly series in which she aims to unravel the various emotions we encounter during the journey of anticipatory grief and post-loss grief. By combining her personal experiences with grief studies, she offers valuable insights and coping strategies for those navigating the depths of sorrow after losing a beloved pet.

Grief, an intricate tapestry of emotions, becomes even more intense when we lose a cherished furry companion. Angela explores the multifaceted nature of grief, with a particular focus on anger as an emotion intertwined with loss. Drawing upon the work of renowned psychiatrist Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, who theorized the five stages of grief, Angela explains how anger can serve as a coping mechanism, allowing individuals to express and release their emotions.

To further understand the impact of pet loss on human emotions, Angela highlights the research of Dr. Sandra Barker, a professor of psychiatry and director of the Center for Human-Animal Interaction. Dr. Barker's studies reveal that the loss of a pet can evoke emotions as profound as those experienced in the loss of a human loved one, emphasizing the unique bond we share with our pets.

Angela candidly shares her personal experience of grappling with anger following the loss of her mother in January 2022. She describes the confusing mix of grief, sadness and rage that overwhelmed her, leading to unexpected bursts of fury. Recognizing that anger during grief can be directed towards oneself, circumstances surrounding the loss, friends, family, or even the departed loved one, Angela emphasizes the need to acknowledge and process this emotion constructively.

Angela reminds us to be patient with ourselves and to grant permission to feel and express all the emotions associated with grief, including anger. She affirms that grief is a deeply personal journey with no prescribed timeline or right way to grieve. Through self-reflection, healthy outlets and compassionate support, individuals can navigate the grieving process, gradually moving towards acceptance and healing.

What to listen for

2:10 The impact of pet loss on human emotions

3:43 Where our anger in grief lands

7:24 The 90-second rule by Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor

9:41 Ways we can redirect our anger

10:50 Where to find support

Resources mentioned in this episode

Chris Miller is the eye behind the camera at MIL Pet Photography in Windsor and Ascot, United Kingdom.

After a 40-year career in tech, he heard the call of the shutter release button … his dad having been a semiprofessional photographer, too.

But he also heard the howl of dog, too, and settled on a second career in dog photography.

With his wife Sue on his team, Chris created MIL Pet Photography with a goal to take pet guardians on magical adventures throughout their borough, which is about 30 miles outside London.

Things took a turn last fall, though, when Chris and Sue experienced the loss of their precious kitty, Summer. The heartache at their cat's sudden passing weighed … continues to weigh heavily.

But when Chris heard me interviewed on a podcast for photographers about One Last Network and the training I give to help professional pet photographers better support their clients in grief, a new path became clear.

He registered almost immediately, took the grief training and scored a perfect 18 on the certification quiz.

He now seeks to be a conduit for his clients to find the support and services they may need but not be aware of within his community. He strives to connect people and what a wonderful goal that is.

What to listen for

2:28 Chris's journey in dog photography

6:51 How dog photography fills Chris's soul

11:21 Why it was time for Summer to go

28:41 How Chris carries his grief into his sessions

39:17 How grief training has changed the way Chris exists

Where to find Chris

Senior dogs are a vulnerable population in North American society. 

Family dogs may develop health problems that can be expensive to treat and require an investment of time to care when life is busy.  

A family's life circumstances may change, having to move to a new place … a rental where pets are not allowed. 

There may be changes in behavior due to cognitive decline and keeping the dog in the family may become challenging. 

Or cruelest of all the reasons, senior dogs are often abandoned because they're just old and a family wants a younger, bouncier puppy.  

According to the Grey Muzzle Organization, the adoption rate for senior dogs out of shelters is much lower than that of all other ages combined. Just over 50% of dogs in shelter who are 7 or older find new homes. 

The Grey Muzzle Organization is one of the only national organizations dedicated specifically to advancing lifesaving efforts on behalf of senior dogs. It is not a shelter or rescue group. Rather it funds programs such as hospice care, senior dog adoption, medical screening and other special programs to help old dogs at animal welfare organizations across the United States and Canada 

This month, the Grey Muzzle will be announcing more than $705,000 in grants to 78 animal welfare groups working to save and improve the lives of senior dogs. That will bring its total in grant funding to more than $3.8 million since the Grey Muzzle's inception in 2008. 

Our guest today is Lisa Lunghofer, the executive director of The Grey Muzzle Organization and Making Good Work, a nonprofit that provides grant writing, strategic planning, program development and other services to mission-driven organizations. Her expertise lies in the human-animal bond, animal welfare, at-risk youth, juvenile justice, child welfare, violence prevention and education. 

Have a listen as Lisa shares her journey from child welfare research to advocacy for senior dogs … and how she can't believe her own dog, Cameron, is about to turn 14. 

What to listen for

3:27 How Lisa's research led to the Grey Muzzle 

10:51 The rewards Lisa finds in a life surrounded by trauma 

12:47 How the Grey Muzzle changes the world for senior dogs 

25:24 The benefits of adopting a senior dog 

32:12 Ways you can help the Grey Muzzle 

Where to find Lisa 

We don't want to think about the last day we have with our best fur friend, but as we've heard a couple of times from Coleen Ellis in The Art of Making Memories and The Art of Loving a Soul Dog (or Heart Dog), planning can help take some of the stress and pain away from the end.

Today, Darlene Woodward of Pant the Town Photography in Massachusetts takes the mic to chat with her friend, Dr. Jennifer Cushing of Beloved Pet Home Euthanasia and Hospice in Reading, Massachusetts.

Jennifer helped Darlene say goodbye last summer to her precious Kota, a Siberian husky full of spunk and sass.

The planning and in-home euthanasia gave Darlene the perfect way to lift Kota up to the next realm … gently and peacefully with her eyes on the backyard where she spent so many years chasing squirrels.

What to Listen For

4:13 Jennifer finds joy in the work she does

7:44 The difference between euthanasia at home and at the clinic

12:41 How this moment can be a celebration of life

19:29 The quality of life consultation

27:06 Why we can't wait until it's too late

Where to Find Jennifer

The business of pet photography draws many people who have experienced loss, the kind of loss that leaves a hole that often feels like it can never be filled.

We may come from other genres of photography, landscape or wedding and family portraiture. We look at our cameras and know it's the tool that gave us so many great images of our own dogs.

But we never turned the cameras on ourselves.

We never got the great portraits of us and our dogs together.

Then they were gone. Our best fur friends posed for our cameras no more. And we were left with silly selfies, digital dust in the bottomless ocean of our social media feeds.

And then we decide to change that for other people. We make a conscious decision to ensure humans have amazing portraits of themselves with their best fur friends.

Printed on their walls or in beautiful photo albums.

My guest today, Nancy Kieffer, is no different.

When her Midnight died of lymphoma at 4, she realized there was more than landscapes that she had to do with her camera.

She started volunteering for rescues in Syracuse, New York, and then Nancy Kieffer Photography was born.

She shares that journey with us today.

What to Listen For

4:58 The event that kept Nancy from being a veterinarian

9:05 Midnight's devastating diagnosis

10:39 The guilt Nancy felt from thinking she didn't do enough

13:45 Finding comfort and laughter in Midnight's memories

19:42 Becoming a pet loss grief specialist with One Last Network

24:20 How Nancy brings meaning to her work

Where to Find Nancy

As a professional writer of 30-some years, words and phrases carry a lot of meaning for me. When I see one I don't know, I rush to look it up. Find out more about what it means, how it should be used.

My husband and I have an unending squabble. I say "six of one, half a dozen of another," while he claims to should be "six to one, half a dozen to another." Same difference, I say, but he insists on correcting me whenever I say my version.

(Feel free to let me know in the comments which one you think it is.)

In any case, I've been over the last year or so really wondering what the terms "soul dog" and "heart dog" mean. I knew Shep was my soulmate from that one very special moment we shared in the Rocky Mountains when he changed my life.

I called him my heart dog.

Then Bella came along and after nine years of being together I feel my heart growing bigger and bigger every time I look at her.

Is she my heart dog now? What happens to Shep?

Then I heard the term "soul dog," and I thought, "Well, maybe Shep is my soul dog and Bella is my heart dog."

But what happens when Bella is gone? Do I get a catchy new phrase for the next love of my life? Do we get to have two soul dogs or three heart dogs?

And what the hell does "soul dog" and "heart dog" mean anyway?

And … here's the big one … are we doing a disservice to our past loves and our future loves by latching onto these terms?

The name of today's episode, The Art of the Human-Animal Connection, comes from the book written by and the organization led by my guest today, Genie Joseph.

Genie is a Ph.D., certified in the Trust Technique practice and the creator of the Act Resilient method, which combines drama and improv comedy to help lower stress and improve mental health in military personnel and their families.

President Barack Obama presented her with the Silver Volunteer Service award for this work.

Genie believes resilience can be learned, not just in humans but also in animals who have experienced trauma. She has rescued two badly abused dogs -- Oscar and Sophia -- and turned them into therapy dogs.

She has over 2,000 hours of volunteer work in animal shelters, rescue centers, and sanctuaries.  She does private consultations, conducts workshops and classes, and speaks to groups on communication, healing, and the human-animal connection.

Her recently released book, The Human-Animal Connection, explores that deep emotional bond we build with our companion animals.

The book is divided into three parts: How to Be a Better Human For Your Animal, What Animals Can Teach Us About Being a Happier Human and The Spiritual Connection: How Humans Can Be of Service to Animals.

Each part features a series of principles that teach us how our animals are trying to communicate with us and how we can open ourselves up to listen to them.

Today, Genie and I talk about her work, the book and the ways we as pet guardians can be better humans for their comfort, happiness and health … which leads to us doing better for our own comfort, happiness and health.

What to Listen For

4:02 How an abused dog helped soldiers manage their PTSD

11:32 Getting an animal to trust

14:59 How animals use their senses to overcome trauma

20:30 Learning to communicate better with our pets

26:10 A horse teaches Genie to find her higher self

38:11 How learning to communicate with our animals can bring us comfort after they're gone

Where to Find Genie

For The Art of Lessons Learned, we have another roundtable with the professional photographers at One Last Network. 

Each one of us has a deep appreciation for the companion animals who have come into our lives and left behind not just lessons learned, but sometimes profound transformations.

Incredible life changes.

Shifts in personality.

They've altered the way we see the world, the way we walk among our fellow humans.

Animals, dogs in particular, have been our loyal companions for thousands of years, and over time, humans have come to appreciate their incredible capacity for love, empathy, and companionship.

If we pay attention to the way they live, move and treat their fellow animals, we start to see their emotional intelligence and we can absorb those traits to make ourselves better human beings.

I think you'll hear that as a common thread as each photographer who joined us today shares their amazing story.

We even talk about a cat … a CAT! … with one of our newer members, Chris Miller of MIL Pet Photography, joining us all the way from the United Kingdom.

What to Listen For

2:21 Cisco teaches Sharon gratitude

5:17 Kota teaches Darlene routines can change

8:25 Lynn finds her voice, thanks to Lance and Lili

10:54 Summer teaches Chris to appreciate time together

15:57 Kylee learns how to be more compassionate from Omega

20:06 What we learn from each other's stories

28:59 Shep teaches Angela to just be herself

Our Featured Photographers

Our guest today talks to animals.

And they talk back to her.

Nancy Mello learned early in her life that she was able to hear what animals are trying to tell us all. Their likes, their dislikes, their wants, their needs … and when they feel it's time to go.

Nancy reached out to be a guest on the podcast and share her abilities as an animal communicator and evidential medium. I told her in full disclosure that I'm a skeptic, that I may not fully believe what she does is real.

She said that was OK, that she relished the challenge.

Izzie was a French bulldog whom Victoria lifted up into the next realm in February 2021 after a protracted battle with pulmonary hypertension.

Izzie was the perfect mix of sweet and sass and resolved Victoria's fear of big dogs. They found love at first smooch.

When Izzie was diagnosed, Victoria and her husband did everything they could. They spared no expense to ensure Izzie fought her terrible diagnoses and that she was comfortable and happy.

After Izzie left Victoria's physical world, Victoria was left with the feeling she had to do something, anything.

She knew that she and her husband were fortunate to make the choices they made for Izzie while other families are left wondering what to do, thanks to the financial burden some veterinary care can bring.

Together, they started the Izzie Fund which helps keep those families from having to make difficult decisions like leaving their beloved pets at shelters and rescues or lifting them up because that may be their only affordable option.

Victoria shares that journey and what the Izzie Fund is all about today with Jessica Wasik of Bark & Gold Photography in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

What to Listen For

2:36 Izzie becomes Victoria's soulmate

5:17 Izzie's diagnosis with pulmonary hypertension

10:10 Victoria starts to manage her grief

16:38 Victoria embraces her grief

19:56 The Izzie Fund is born

Find the Izzie Fund

Zoe is one of Nicole Begley's many loves in this lifetime. She spent too few years in the comfort of Nicole's home in Pittsburgh and then North Carolina, after being found by firefighters in a bucket of water in Puerto Rico.

Nicole is the lead educator at Hair of the Dog Academy, a platform that teaches pet photographers, like me, how to master our craft and launch then build our businesses.

If it wasn't for Nicole, well, I don't know where a lot of us would be.

And many of us met Zoe, an always smiling pup, on the webinars during which we learn the ins and outs of our businesses.

Then Zoe died.

Very suddenly, very tragically.

I remember Nicole publishing a podcast shortly after about how some companies go above and beyond for their customer. She revealed that Chewy.com sent her a card and flowers when called them to possibly return an unopened bag of food.

She cried.

Her sorrow and pain cut through me like a knife. I wanted so badly to reach out through the airwaves and hug her.

Today, we are remembering Zoe … and many of the other animals to whom Nicole has bid farewell, many of them suddenly and tragically.

We honor their lives with their stories.

What to listen for

6:26 A meet-cute for Nicole and Zoe

12:26 When Nicole had to say goodbye

21:41 The beginning of Nicole's healing

25:14 Bringing Cami home

33:55 A lifetime of losses

35:32 Gratitude and self-regulation

Find Nicole