OnEurope's Eurovision Reviewcast

OnEurope's Phil Colclough, Media's Lisa-Jayne Lewis and Mission Eurovision's Anna Ferguson chew the fat about the first Semi-Final of this year's Eurovision Song Contest, Hear us guffaw as we tell you, our European Children, precisely what we think of some songwriters efforts to entertain Europe on a Tuesday night in May!

So, a change of tack for All Out Eurovision - We've moved on line (through circumstances beyond our control) and we're doing a bit of Timey Wimey stuff and going back to go forward.

Lisa-Jayne, Phil and Ana will be talking about national finals and running down what we thnk - Call it a retrospective if you will.

Week one is up, plus an interview with an Austrian pre-Selection juror which is more exciting than I have just made it sound!

Our Second show that we've put on here...

A bit of talking, a bit of music, a lot of opinions!

I'm still not sure we're OFCOM Compliant lol!

In the final podcast of the series Mr Phil finally gets round to finishing 1996 off after his jollies at Junior Eurovision.

Join Mr Scrooge, Bob Cratchett and the ghosts of Alexia Past, present and future, as they wend their way through the back end (fnarr) of 1996.

You know you wanna listen!

Well its the second part - but you know what I mean !!

Mr Phil and his writing team guide you through the snoozefest that SOME people think 1996 is...

At 75 miniutes it's a big one (Missus!) So you might need to get some drinks in.... or work out what the hell imma talking about - your choice.!

OnEurope's intrepid radio reporter and all around good egg Lisa Jayne Lewis has been worrying kids in a good way and has got us Italy and France to listen to Enjoy!

Mr Phil and his Halloween inspired writing team have decided to tackle the behemoth that is the 1996 contest and where better to start than with the songs that failed to qualify at all for Oslo, thus saving themselves squillions of moneys on a beer that you can only buy in a supermarket up to 8pm at night! - I'm still not bitter.

WARNING - This podcast contains unwanted Germany - sorry about that!

In another long one - not a Euphemism - Mr Phil takes a deep dive back into the archives and picks up where last month's left off - specifically in the Salle Lys Assia at about 10pm local time on a Saturday in May 1989.

The last 11 entries get the treatment here. There will be mild swearing in this one - a strop - some unfathomable ITV references and all the other things you have come to know and loathe!

Well after 1978 went down like a knee in a sandwich, we have moved on to 1989 where the songs have improved - even if the aim of the interval act hasn't.

Join Mr Phil and his perplexed writing team as they meander through the first 11 songs of 1989 with wit, humour and their own take on your favourite television spectacle of 1989.

WARNING - This podcast contains both slight bad language and unannounced Jose Cid.

Considering Mr Phil thinks that this contest is "Challenging" He's managed to talk about it for another 67 minutes - jesus it can't take that long to say " it's shit" can it?

Of *course* there is more to it than that, as always, so join the team as they shimmy their way through some bad costume and lighting choices.... oh and 1978 as well!

So, Mr Phil is back, with the help of his desheveled writing team, to bring you the delights of Eurovision's past... with a twist

This time the gang try to keep awake as they wade through the treacle that is the first half of the 1978 contest and try to keep awake. They must have found something to talk about, there is over an hour of goodness!

Please note - there might be mild swearing and exasperation so listener discretion is advised.... not cos of the swear words, but cos of the songs!

In the last of this present run ( i know - but six is plenty) Phil goes for the longest time so far (fnarr) telling you why Estonia won the 2001 Eurovision Song Contest...

I believe there were other songs in the second half of this contest but we don't care about them.

You do?

Well listen on then!

Mr Phil has been slaving away, so you don't have to, in order to get 2001 out of the way before the turn of the year...

HRT Trolling and more Mr Phil especially him? - If you know, you know!

Contains mild swearing and songs of an awful nature.

I bet you can't wait!

It's the second half of 1981 - Have you swapped shirts at half time? 

So we couldn't leave the second half of 1981 left undone - so we get to it now...

How on earth did the UK win?

Why is the Netherlands so hideous?

All this *and* less will be answered within...

Note - Mild Swearing and hideous singing is contained within this podcast.

So what forensic information do you want to know about Eurovision 1981?

Don't answer that, cos you won't find any of that old guff on this reviewcast - Mr Phil takes you through the first half of 1981.

Think you know this contest? - You probably do, but listen anyway why dont you!

Contains Mild swearing and substandard songs - You have been warned!

Sixty Six minutes of me droning on and on about thirteen songs - I mean will it ever end? - well yes, after sixty six minutes - fools!

Mr Phil and team take you through the second half of the 1993 contest talking about :

Taking it up the ****

Sonia's inferiority complex

Introducing a timey-wimey machine. 

A 20p and a sellotape machine. 

Bizarre Eurovision Lyrics. 

A story of betrayal involving Israeli's

You can't wait can you!

Like a bad smell we are back with a new season of Reviewcasts!

1993 you say? - well one of our listeners demanded it and boy are you going to get it!

I'm pretty sure I don't remember 1993 being anything like *this*?!

I know - the end is near and its come round so quickly. 

Quick review of the Jury final then?

And only one theme tune will do today!

Well that was...a thing!

We're getting there people!  It's almost show time - oh wait!

Yes i'm still at this fecking contest - and so are you!

If it's Wednesday it must be a look back at Semi Final One's carnage!

Well if you want some ill informed choices, listen on McDuff!

Whilst today is the Turquoise carpet event - you wanna know what happened yesterday!

Here you go!

Day 7 News from OnEurope? - LIttle bit late but you knew it would be here!

I'll give this a proper title by Eurovision time!

Your sixth day of rehearsal goodness comdensed into listenable chunks!

Day 5 in the big Eurovision house - well my front room actually - and we have all the news and views from the first day of open rehearsals!

Yesh join your friendly newscaster Mr Phil as he rounds up the 4th day of press conferences!

The third in an increasingly bizarre run of daily news and views from Meester Phil. 

Join the internet's answer to Sue Lawley as Mr Phil rattles through today in Eurovisionia in under 210 seconds!!

Arent you lucky!

Well the first day at Eurovision has gone swimmingly, hasn't it?

Phil tells it like it was

Merry Christmas!

OnEurope decides to depress the hell out of your Christmas by taking apart the 7 song 1993 Eurovision Preselection in glorious detail - I mean, how else can I sell 51 minutes of podcast for you!

Grab a Mince Pie, drink some Sherry and turn up the fire as I take you down memory lane. 

Information, education and Entertainment.... None of those you'll find here though ;)

Note - Mild Swearing and hideous singing is contained within this podcast. 

** Apologies for the dodgy sound - this will be rectified next cast **

So, Phil has taken leave of his senses and has finished off 1999 before it finished him off.

Who is Meg Mortimer's alter Ego?

Why is Phil obsessed with ATV?

Who's grinr profile needs changing?

This and so many less questions will be answered in the next SIXTY SIX Minutes!

Yeah we're back with Part One of OnEurope's third review cast of the off season and this time we take ourselves back to those heady days of 1999.  La'Chaim! - or something like that.  

In our mammoth Second part of the 2007 Reviewcast Mr Phil, our decrepit writing team and Alexia bumble our way through the final 12 songs - giving the non qualifiers their moment in the sun. 

Is Phil going to call himself "Mr T" from this moment forward?

Is Alexia too big for her boots?

Has the writing team recovered from listening to all these songs in Helsinki for the first time?

The answers to these and a significant amount of questions you'd never even asked yourself lay before you in this 61 minute spectacular of the stupid!

Oneurope's Phil Colclough is back with the first half of the OnEurope review cast for 2007. 

It's a long one - not a euphemism, but it's choc full of the usual mentalness!

So as promised you get the second half of Mr Phil describing the 1987 Eurovision song contest through the medium of Podcast!

Listen to the cultural inappropriateness of Marcha

Guffaw at the lame jokes

Find out things you never thought you wanted to know about the year the Irish Jonny Logan won.... again...

And so, after a hiatus for the actual contest ( remember those?) we are back with a new OnEurope reviewcast - this time taking a look at 1987

Well, at least the first half of 1987 - there is so much to delve into that it's a two-parter.  Remember to get our your hairspray and shoulder pads, dust off your Sony Walkman and take a mince with us as the first 11 songs of 1987 get the treatment!

Join Oneurope's Phil Colclough on another compilation of his internet radio smash hit (in his own head) - Three minutes in Rotterdam with reviews from days 6-8 of open rehearsals in Rotterdam

Fresh and exciting and new and smelling not at all like a pair of your old undies, Let Phil guide you through Day 5 in the big Eurovision House

1-2-3-4 you say Phil?

Why yes, yes I do.   This is the OnEurope radio show " Three minutes in Rotterdam" that I am producing for various internet radios around the place and, as for now, You, my webcast European children. 

This is a mega 12 minutes comprising the first 4 shows... 

Don't panic about the silence at the beginning - your webmaster in chief forgot to unmute the intro track!

For the last time in 2020 Phil goes in search of the strange and weird in his reviews of Eurovision's past. 

This contest may be 50 years ago, and it might only have 12 songs in it - but you'll need either an acid bath or a cold shower after you've heard some of the filth this contest had in it. 

Intrigued??

Another one rescued from the OnEurope Vaults ( Published in September 2019)

This contest just about has everything....

Weird Scoring, A presenter almost losing the plot, a quarter of the songs winning....

What's going on? - oh just a normal 1969 thing then!

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Originally published in September 2019 at http://www.oneurope.co.uk

Well you wanted moar so now you have it - 40 more minutes of me waffling on about the 1998 Eurovision Song Contest. 

Who the hell is Tönis Mägi? - Why the hell is he so popular?

What's Betty Boo got to do with Eurovision?

Is Imanni really from Lilliput?

Have our decrepit writing team played more jokes on Phil with silly Finnish names?

Go on - Take a listen!

Because 1998 is so damn flaming big with lots of massive personalities to talk about, like the Christmas edition of the radiotimes we've had to cut this one into 2 parts!! - With a commercial break!

It's Europe day 1998 and most of Europe are settling down to watch the 1998 Festival of popular song, but how on earth have the first dozen or so entrants got this far??  Why is the Going for Gold theme being used for countries OTHER than Belgium? Why are Greek Composers so damn awkward and what do you do when you give people power?

All, some, or none of those questions will be answered shortly!

Originally recorded back in August 2019 - Oneurope looks back at the biggest contest to that time, 1994 and introduces you to 16 year old Phil - Somewhat Camp and learning foreign songs in a caravan! - Gay dear?

OnEurope's webmaster Phil Colclough takes you through another old and dusty Eurovision. 

Carola!! Nazis!! Going for Gold (again).. Mental Belgians?! Songicide?!

It can only be Eurovision 1983.... can't it??!

Join OnEurope's webmaster Phil Colclough as he guides you through another historic contest.  This time he jumps in the DeLorean and sets the dial to 1975 where he finds all manner of things including (but not limited to)

Three versions of Ding-a-Dong

The Spinners 

The Carpenters

An old grainy 1966 photo

Belgium taking a lot of trouble to do nothing in particular. 

Feel free to tell your friends and visit http://www.oneurope.co.uk for more Eurovision antics.  

Come back in time to 1977 – Think you know the contest?

In the latest instalment of OnEurope podcasts, we take you back in time with another whacky look at an old contest!

Millennial, hang on ... we'll go back to 1977!

Can you spot the running gags and stuff yet? Pop culture references ahoy!

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Originally published at http://www.oneurope.co.uk in October 2019

1958, then. Dear Europe, why have you sent the same song ten times!

In a masochistic streak, Phil decides to regale you with tales of 1958. In this episode, he tells you about his trip to Stockholm, wonders if CO2 is actually the silent killer and has a rant about Sweden

Can you afford not to listen? Probably ... but do it anyway!

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Originally broadcast on http://www.oneurope.co.uk in November 2019

So what links :

big hair 

fainting

bad singing

Wogan

a tape technician 

and Die Wende? - well 1990 of course - it's our festive podcast!

Merry Podmas!

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Originally broadcast on http://www.oneurope.co.uk at Christmas 2019