Outside The Boxes

> You can find out more about ‘Sway’ and pre-prder your copy on Bloomsbury’s website here

> You can listen to the Woman’s Hour interview here

> You can read the Prospect Magazine article here

> You can read the Independent article here

Pragya believes that talking to our children about race, racism and racial inequality is hugely important - no matter what our own race. She disagrees with the idea of raising children to be ‘colour blind’ - it actually causes more problems than it solves. Saying that we are all the same is also unhelpful - we are not all the same but that doesn’t mean we can’t be equal - these are two different things.

“Our children need to understand that no-one should be treated differently because of their skin colour or their racial category.”

Every family needs to have an on-going dialogue about these issues and talk explicitly about them, regardless of the racial make-up of the family. Teachers, parents and educators want to protect our children from ‘ugliness’ - they feel that by talking about it they are highlighting it. Pragya describes the mistakes she thinks she made with her own daughter, how she could have handled these concepts and how she now tries to integrate these discussions every day. It’s very important to have a strong sense of racial heritage - again this should not be ignored and assumptions made around all of us being the same.

Stereotyping of people based on where they come from is easy and dangerous. Not every person from the same ethnic origin has the same views or beliefs and this is another area we need to explicitly explore with our children. Essentialism or transductive reasoning leads to, for example, a supposed link between colour of skin and ability - all people who look the same have similar ability. This generalisation is not true and we need to tackle it from an early age. If we make certain topics around race taboo and avoid talking about them with our children, we are not preparing our children to counter any negative labelling or stereotyping they find themselves in life.

Racism has also been linked to children’s mental and physical health and Pragya finishes her detailed and in-depth episode by explaining how we, as parents, can tackle the problems she has outlined.

The course starts on 3rd June and you can find more information and join it HERE with an exclusive code FEMPARENTS.

First of all, there's time to mention a question which was asked in the Facebook group - Join Pragya’s Raising Feminists Facebook Group.

'Should I call my daughter pretty?'

Main topic: Courage and being Fearless

It's common to want to hide things you are feeling fearful about. I hid my TEDx talk when it appeared - even from my family. However, I received emails praising my courage but I didn't feel like that myself. I didn't feel fearless.

Admitting fears makes us vulnerable but it's a useful thing to do. 

I wonder if we only realise what we are capable of when we are most broken - when we are pushed to our limits. Our courage also comes from our deepest love and our passion.

Through being a single mother and suffering very unexpected workplace bullying, I had to learn how to trust people again. What helped was going back and finding the core of what made me - I had to really dig deep and find out how I wanted to define myself. Also, creativity helped me enormously. It remains the best mindful technique I have discovered. This is not just artistic creativity but thinking outside the box as well.

I used to think that asking for help was a sign of weakness but I realise now that asking for help is a courageous thing to do. 

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Sign up for Pragya’s Raising Feminists Online Course using the discount code - FEMPARENTS 

Sign up for Pragya’s Raising Feminists Online Course using the discount code - FEMPARENT

Pragya believes that what we see and hear in the media is only one type of people talking about feminism and parenting. We need more diverse stories. The voices are also often restricted to white, middle class viewpoints which cannot represent a proper range.

Pragya’s own background has given her access to a variety of different views and opinions on gender and parenting and she feels she has been able to develop her own views. She learned a lot from her mother and the way she lived her life in India. Pragya realised:

“Strength and feminism comes in different shapes and forms - there isn’t just one way to be a feminist.”

A lot of the misogynist views she was aware of in her early life in India are, unfortunately still in evidence today, across the world and so it’s very important to help daughters to understand that they can transcend the traditional views of women.

Pragya points out that she is learning every day, particularly from her own daughters, so do listen carefully right to the end of the episode for some remarkable insights and challenges.

Join Pragya’s Raising Feminists Facebook Group 

I run a Feminist Parenting group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/raisingfeminists/

And, my Feminist Parenting course is now open. Registration closes at the end of April. You can find out more and join it here: https://bit.ly/2Dh42hX

Find me on Twitter at @DrPragyaAgarwal

On Instagram at @the_art_tiffin and @knowyourbias