Page Avenue Crew
By Story of the Year
Page Avenue CrewAug 28, 2020
00:00
01:41:39
#111 - Enema Crossing
Science...what is it all about? Techmology...what is that all about? Is it good, or is it whack? There's a bloke from round my hood, Staines, called Rainbow Jeremy, who reject everything to do with science. He just chill at home, he smoke his own homegrown, and check this: he don't have a telly. I ain't shittin you. He don't have a telly.
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
Jan 06, 202335:19
#110 - The Hansel Outlook
Welcome to the Six Teeth Chapel Cafe, with head chef BBQ Scoobs. Emos don’t float. Who is a better band—U2 or Avatar?
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
Dec 16, 202244:19
#109 - L. Ron Hubbard’s Spotify Wrapped
My friend doesn't live in a hotel. He's got a wife who's perfect for him. He's got triples of the Barracuda, triples of the Road Runner, triples of the Nova.
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
Dec 02, 202233:42
#108 - Take the Ride: Starring Steve Guttenberg
This week we discuss the geopolitical significance of Rocky IV and the Police Academy movie franchise, then listen to the original demo version of our new single, Take the Ride.
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
Nov 25, 202231:18
#107 - Head Haunches, Crown of Thorntons (ft. A Bunch of People)
Mike Cronin, 1973. Dokken in St. Louis since 2002. SOTY Re-TOOLed. 16oz cans of Malört in every kid’s stocking this Christmas. Red Baron pizza airdropped via cable. Did you know that Steve Jobs had a Kid Rock tattoo? #DefendLogan
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
Nov 18, 202257:28
#106 - White Claw is a Hell of a Drug (ft. Jordan Phoenix)
This week we talk about the When We Were Young festival and how Adam almost ruined the whole thing. Also, how much you wanna make a bet I can do a guitar spin over them mountains Sounds like someone has an exam. That’s why I keep a bat in my kitchen. Chlamydia in my throat. Pothole bathtubs for everyone. Put pyro behind us and every dick explodes.
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
Nov 11, 202201:08:01
#105 - Making the Tear Me to Pieces Video (ft. Jordan Phoenix)
Tear Me to Pieces: The Motion Picture - Starring Alabaster Phoenix, Gary Busey, and Craig Robinson. Happy Thanksgiving; here’s our demo. The Crows Have Dicks. Satanist weddings are the best. Every man dreams of marrying a plus-size model that looks like their mom. It’s against the law to bang your cousin unless your cousin is a goat or a manatee. In any case, don’t forget to shave them first. Do it for Patty. Make sure everyone has bananas. Did you know that Dan shot a pilot for a TV show once? For real.
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
Oct 19, 202201:18:37
#104 - The Llamanati (ft. Mike Forester)
Our good friend Mike Forester (Hondo Supply, Armor Party Podcast) joins us this week to reveal the secret of how we created our new album artwork, and to talk about catholic boy beer parties, Illuminati school teachers, horny…I mean artistic robots, a weird melted guy with a claw hand, and free BJ’s for cops.
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
Oct 14, 202201:01:52
#103 - Lemme Eat Them Haunches, Boi.
GRENADE WHISTLE!! Ryan was the victim of reverse child abuse. Top Chef: Maverick sucked. Are you the boys that’s been whackin’ it in my tool shed? Plot twist: Jeffrey Dahmer ate Marilyn Monroe. Enroll in SOTY University now, and get your degree in bass boats or dildo testing. Our curriculum is bussin bussin no cap on god.
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
Oct 07, 202251:59
#102 - I Have a Scream ft. Brick Wall Scoobs
You can now listen to Story of the Year through your butt. Army Phillips on lead guitar. Dan has never thought about chlamydia on stage. If the dick goes in your ear and you scream, you can’t hear the band. And the beer still shakes me, so hold me until it squeaks. Fake bands ain’t got shit in 6K. Do you have Tenacious D in your ears or not? You every been banged by a weatherman with a Firebird or diagnosed by a ghost?
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
Sep 30, 202255:51
#101 - The Seventy Percent Club (ft. JT Woodruff AKA Top Hat Jenkins AKA Jerel Tangerine)
Page Avenue Crew: a podcast for people with boring friends, featuring Jim Tom, the fourteenth Apostle. Hair metal and Trapper Keepers. We’re all ripping off Panama. Three heroes and two slugs. Slash has never pulled out his butthole. Not once. We need more boner screen time. Where does a violin bow go when you drop it? Story of the Year + intelligence = Hawthorne Heights. Aw, man…Jessica got boofed.
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
Sep 23, 202201:45:38
#100 - Skin-Colored Underwear
The tale of Bon and the burning bush. Dear band, please keep your pants on. Sincerely, management. Guitar strap-flavored liqueur for everyone! Wholesome clowns with artistic license; henceforth, we shall be known as Xtremo.
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
Sep 16, 202251:48
#99 - It’s Called Moderation... (ft. Kevin Cassidy)
Meet me at La Quinta Inn; it's next to Denny’s. Bingo halls, diarrhea, cotton balls, and real cats…the ones you pet. Trailer stuck? Fire up the backhoe. Put a towel down, we've got a squirter at the airport. Doctor, re-grease the hounds. Remember the rule: one boy per bunk.
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
Sep 02, 202247:36
#98 - Do you want to eat out, Grandma?
Welcome to the adult section of Spencer’s. This Sunday at the Chick-fil-A Hate Dome: organic pull-ups, seances and potions, water into wine with a quick SHAZAM! Praise be to premature baby Jesus, Conan the Barbarian, and his sidekick…Matt.
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
Aug 26, 202249:49
#97 - Ryan Dropped a Tree on His Neighbor's House
Sebastian Bach is Dan’s real mom. Jon Bon Lohman was denied access to the jizz tub. Shrooms on the beach. Final meal: ass. I dig the bungee. For me, it's just the way I live my life. I grip it and I rip it. 2 claws 2 hard 2 cum. On a real note: should The Used and Story of the Year tour together?
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man, A Day to Remember, Beartooth
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Aug 12, 202251:34
#96 - Too Many Mummies, Not Enough Tombs.
Physically, I don’t bloat. Close your eyes and picture this: Josh at his desk, listening to tasty licks. Fourth gear, pinned, straight into a tree. I fell off a cruise ship, but I’m back. Yeah, oh shit. Yeah, oh shit! Took a hard, hard, violent fall. Kind of pinballed down. Hit a lot of railings, broke a lot of shit. I’m not going to say I survived, I’m going to say I thrived. I met a dolphin down there, and I swear to God, he looked not at me, but into my soul. Into my goddamn soul, Annie. And he said, “I’m savin’ you, Megan.” Not with his mouth, but he said it...I’m assuming he said it telepathically. We had a connection that I don’t even know if I can...
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Aug 05, 202236:07
#95 - Who Threw Up in Bobby’s Couch? (ft. Bobby Jaycox)
Cancel your Tinder date! Tonight, live at the Spaghetti Factory on South Lindbergh Blvd: The Where the Dicks Have Ears Tour - Featuring Billy Corgan, Taylor Swift, Nelly, Sevendust, and a special performance by Mexican horses with chlamydia wearing lycra SOTY shirts. Afterparty at the Florissant VFW hall. Tickets on sale now at storyoftheyeardudewholovesstoryoftheyear.com
We also actually talk about our new music video in this episode.
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We also actually talk about our new music video in this episode.
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Jul 29, 202201:35:45
#94 - The Wonder Years: Starring D.B. Cooper (ft. Jon Bernstein)
I’m alive, but I’m barely breathing now because I didn’t do my research on ambulance protocol. Saint Louis is just a quick walk from Jerusalem. Communist zombies. Combies. The combie apocalypse. Tear off my penis and swallow it. I don’t like sand. It’s coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere.
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Jul 22, 202242:18
#93 - SCOTUS Can Suck One (ft. Bon Lohman)
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Jul 01, 202201:02:03
#92 - This Episode Brought to You by Tom Cruise
Story of the Year: The Pittsburgh Pirates of music. DIY Kinko’s Gangsters. No viable eggs. Plug into that thermos and let me hear some Clapton licks. Lemme get a dose of Momma’s Mucinex. Two buttons at once so you don’t cut your hands off.
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Jun 24, 202256:11
#91 - Keep the Butt Temp 100
BB Gun Danny, Pew Pew Peanut, Ricochet Rhino, and Ol’ Crossbow Wills present a 'The Burbs' themed Emo Night, hosted by Bill Cosby. I chimed in with “haven’t you people ever heard of…there go the goddamn brownies.” For tickets and event information, call 1-800-BARTEND.
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Jun 17, 202243:47
#90 - Thank You for Being a Friend ft. T-Pain from I’m a Boat
You a SOTY fan? Then you Ben Affleck. Dan’s favorite childhood activity was prison sex, but now he’s old, and he has to get his Tool tattoo removed. Let me tell you a story about an old, prehistoric, sepia tone-lookin-ass dude with no air conditioning. A long-ass fucking time ago, in a town called Kickapoo, there lived a humble family, religious through and through. But yea, there was a black sheep and he knew just what to do. His name was young J.B., and he refused to step in line. A vision he did see-eth, fucking rocking all the time. He wrote a tasty jam and all the planets did align...
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Jun 10, 202248:53
#89 - New Album is Done (Cover Art by Tom from MySpace)
Eleven brand new SMASH HITS from Story of the Year, featuring D’Marcus Williums, T.J. Juckson, T’Variuness King, Tyroil Smoochie-Wallace, D’Squarius Green, Jr., Ibrahim Moizoos, Jackmerius Tacktheritrix, D’Isiah T. Billings-Clyde, D’Jasper Probincrux III, Leoz Maxwell Jilliumz, Javaris Jamar Javarison-Lamar, Davoin Shower-Handel, Hingle McCringleberry, L’Carpetron Dookmarriot, J’Dinkalage Morgoone, Xmus Jaxon Flaxon-Waxon, Saggitariutt Jefferspin, D’Glester Hardunkichud, Swirvithan L’Goodling-Splatt, Quatro Quatro, Ozamataz Buckshank, Beezer Twelve Washingbeard, Shakiraquan T.G.I.F. Carter, X-Wing @Aliciousness, Sequester Grundelplith M.D., Scoish Velociraptor Maloish, T.J. A.J. R.J. Backslashinfourth V, EEEEE EEEEEEEEE, Donkey Teeth, Torque [Construction Drilling Noise] Lewith, [The Player Formerly Known As Mousecop], and Dan Smith.
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Jun 03, 202239:07
#88 - Welcome to My Wife (ft. Bobby Jaycox)
Never-ending hallways, dinosaurs, asteroids, cavemen. Fuck a credit score, I’m getting a Super Soaker. Mail-in emissions tests now available; pickle jar not included. They’re dirty, their teeth are yellow, boobs look different... He was born in the 1900’s, and then he woke up from a coma with no dick.
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May 20, 202253:10
#87 - The Fart Mic Cometh
Josh can only tolerate his kids when he’s on drugs. Dan Marsala: C-3PO enthusiast. Emo-Themed Glamping. They’re only sucking half of it. Don’t listen, just watch the beard move. KEEP. CLUTCH’S NAME. OUT YOUR FUCKING. MOUTH.
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May 13, 202245:01
#86 - The Eternal Battle For Bobby Jaycox’s Butthole (ft. Bobby Jaycox)
Premiering next month on HBO Mid: Agaped on Tinder. Sherbet ice cream, and ham in their salads. Where do toboggans come from? If you have a baby, you’re a slut. Foot on the monitor: cool stance or cry for help? Vanilla Ice is Ryan’s celebrity crush. The smell of music can habit-forming. Do not smell music if you have a heart condition, are pregnant, or are breastfeeding.
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May 06, 202201:33:01
#85 - Hug, Handshake, or Butthole? (ft. Bobby Jaycox)
How much do you have to pay to be Batman? It used to be called the butt hawk. Subwoofers on a horse. Sorry, John Goodman. We need both rooms.
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Apr 29, 202201:33:58
#84 - Not Bad for a Bunch of Conquistadors.
Ranking SOTY albums, worst to best. What flavor comes from the main udder? Jesus is cooler when he’s a wizard. Long ass intro, just enough notes. Same sound. 25% speed. Shout out Faux Head. This that Pope shit.
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Apr 22, 202201:24:07
#83 - Bugs and Drugs (Remembering Greg Haupt)
Contribute to Greg's family support fund here.
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Apr 15, 202201:10:57
#82 - The Best Episode Yet (ft. Kevin Cassidy, B-Loney, and Chip Shaft)
The episode title is accurate.
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Apr 08, 202201:03:13
#81 - Coffin Flop (ft. @sotydiscord)
Spectrum is planning to drop 22 channels, including Corncob TV. They're saying by the end of 2022, Corncob TV won't be available on your cable menu. That means you won't be able to see some of your favorite Corncob TV shows, including Coffin Flop. They're saying they want to drop Coffin Flop because we showed over 400 naked dead bodies on our show Coffin Flop. If you love Corncob TV shows, it's time to tell Spectrum "NO." They're saying Coffin Flop's not a show—it's just hours and hours of footage of real people falling out of coffins at funerals. There's no explanation. Just body after body busting out of shit wood and hitting pavement.
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Mar 28, 202242:58
#80 - Britney Spears Loves SOTY
Is reverse childbirth possible? Show me your decroded Dark Vader tattoo. Dan would rather be melted than live in a basement. Go for your dreams. Be a Josh Brolin impersonator. Call 1-800-PP-5-1-Doo-Doo. I’m in your corner.
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Mar 18, 202226:06
#79 - dicktoothbrush.com
This week on CSI St. Louis: The Tale of the Runaway Kia. It’s like the one in Dan's basement: it’s got a spine and a hump. I heard the Batmans is emo now. Dan’s dad has never seen the internet. Josh is basically guilty of a hit and run. Do you think Darth Vader shit with his helmet on?
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Mar 11, 202243:08
St. Louis Music Meetup with John Oakes
The truth is, I’ve had one boyfriend, and his name was Dr. Warren Carmichael, and he was my economics professor, and he was 56 years old, and he was very smart, and he dressed like a casual beach man to come to class, with flip-flops and everything, and I gotta tell you, I found that very very hot. One day before class, he walked in, and he comes up to me and he goes “nice Patagonia shirt. Gotta get me one of those.” Let’s just say I knew what he meant, okay? Full lightning bolt through my slit. When class was over, there were snail trails on my chair. Like no one should have sat in that chair after me. It was DAMP.
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Mar 04, 202239:19
#78 - Meet Me in the Airport Bathroom 911-69 (ft. Ryan Key and Bon Lohman)
William Ryan Key of Yellowcard and John Bon Lohman of Warrant hang with us on the pod this week. Everyone is equal at the airport. I don’t put my own lyrics this many. Super hornt flamingos came flying over. Dan doesn’t want to be around anymore. Ryan Key’s plane has almost crashed…twice. Bon saw a dude named Basmati washing his balls in a public bathroom sink. Enjoy your vegan meat sticks. RIP Story of the Year; they died assholes.
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Feb 25, 202201:17:22
#77 - Does Walgreens Sell Molly?
His name was Skip. Lived over on Elm, had a wife, a couple of kids, ya know? Not too sharp, I mean, hey the guy's 40 years old, he's wearing a paper hat and he's making cherry Cokes, it's a cinch he's not running for governor, right? Anyway, it got hot that summer, I remember it got REAL hot. It was sweltering. Ya know that heat where your underwear sweats and it crawls up the...anyway, it's hot, okay? And they start...they start smelling this, this really vile stench over on Elm and they figure it's coming from Skip's place. And no one wants to say anything, I mean, what do you do, go knock on the guy's door..."Hi, your house stinks"? So people are trying to ignore it, right? They're trying to pretend it isn't happening. And you know those pine things? They're trying to cover up with those pine things that you can put in cars. People are hanging those on their porches. The state health inspector shows up. They go over, they talk to Skip, he says he's got a sump pump problem. They leave. Hey, the guy's got a sewer problem, he says he'll look after it, everything's okay, right? Wrong. A couple hours later there's smoke pouring out of the windows of Skip's house. The firemen show up, they go into Skip's house. You know what they find? Skip's family, dead. Murdered...by Skip...weeks earlier...with an ice pick. Yeah, the guy killed his own family with an ice pick. Yeah, just put them in the cool basement, covered them up with a sheet and went back to making ice cream treats for the townsfolk. Only thing...Skip didn't count on there being a big heat wave that summer. You know what that was that all those people were smelling over on Elm, Ricky? Skip's family's bodies, decomposing in the summer heat. Yeah, apparently one day Skip made just made one too many lemon phosphates...El Snappo.
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Feb 18, 202215:02
#76 - Dishes are Done, Man
Josh’s drum set beats make the boys stiff. Ryan’s dog died, and now he can’t cum.
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Feb 11, 202226:42
#75 - All Tuna, All the Time.
One time Adam got fleas. Cops don’t understand Liquid Death. If you see somebody coming, woofle. Speaking of robots playing bass…how you expect me to go six days without smoked wheats? The only way to write a hit song is to risk your life trying to save a canoe. We couldn’t always afford good road crew, but we could afford Arby’s. Pick up one of those bottles we can put sticks in and make the room smell like vanilla bean! Kevin McCallister shreds guitar. Shout out to our sponsor, A Day to Remember.
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Feb 04, 202246:58
#74 - I Got a Fever, and the Only Prescription is More Washboard (ft. A Day to Remember and Beartooth)
This week we're hanging with Kevin Skaff and Neil Westfall of A Day to Remember, and Caleb Shomo of Beartooth! You know it’s a good riff when you have to get up and take a shit. Beartooth invented COVID. Every member of A Day to Remember has a Story of the Year tattoo. Keep jam jars where they belong. Past Kevin is way cooler than now Kevin. If you think Home Alone 3 is the best one, you’re a fucking psycho. Get out. The Matrix was a documentary. All positive things henceforth are fake. Past Kevin hates Lost Prophets jokes. If Caleb had gotten signed as early as Macaulay Culkin, maybe Beartooth would be on the When We Were Young festival. 10 out of 10 Would Smash Tour: possibly coming to a city near you sometime in the future.
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Jan 28, 202201:22:26
#73 - CumUnion (ft. GUAPLORD and $mokecheddathaassgetta)
Sorry this is long and thick and hurt you.
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Jan 21, 202226:01
#72 - The Altoona Incident
The infamous Altoona Incident...Dan's worst-ever meltdown on stage, and the low point Story of the Year's career. Terrible night. Great story. Lesson learned: never go raw dog on stage. So sit back, open a cold Pabst Blue Ribbon, and enjoy.
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Jan 14, 202246:18
#71 - Skin-colored Whammy Bar
Welcome to Late Night with Ben Kenobi. The vagina is nature's pocket. Ryan loves trees, but loves his Hello Kitty notebooks more. To be perfectly honest, I would love to fist bump a robot. Ted Lasso > Dave > Cobra Kai. The first day of every year sucks for Dan. Ryan still hates cartoons. Warped Tour was only ever possible because of the hemp jewelry tent. Hello, computer?
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man
Jan 07, 202244:02
#70 - Adam Has COVID
I don't have enough energy to write show notes. I have COVID. Don't @ me.
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man
Dec 31, 202141:21
#69 - Grandpas Are Everywhere, Dude
Never fuck unarmed. But the kangaroo is naked. Her name is Tina. She can really dry out a room. I have a picture of her fingers on my mic stand. I hope The Boys are ready for school. Bros before hoes, and the hoes is just everything else.
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man
Dec 24, 202101:13:05
#68 - We Are One Long, Hard Unit
We're still in the studio. Music is still awesome.
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man
Dec 17, 202121:15
#67 - The Shawshank Redemption: Starring Banana Hands
We're in the studio. Music is awesome.
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man
Dec 10, 202133:59
#66 - The REAL Origin Story - Part 2 (ft. John Oakes)
John Oakes returns for even more insane tour stories and SOTY history. Josh no chinko wa ōkī desu.
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man
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Dec 03, 202101:27:39
#65 - The REAL Origin Story - Part 1 (ft. John Oakes)
The O.G. original fifth band member, former manager, tour manager, tech, and all around hustler himself, John Oakes, join us on the pod this week! We to take it back to day one and tell the real story. Don't forget your ROOTS!
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man
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Nov 26, 202101:20:54
#64 - Timmy and Trost (ft. Timmy and Trost)
Lifelong friends and former road crew, Timmy Mergenthaler and Dan Trost, join us on the pod this week for a fucked up trip down Memory Avenue.
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man
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Nov 19, 202102:07:50
#63 - Podcasting is a Game of Inches (ft. Phil Gautieri AKA Biff Steel)
Let us explore The Great Mystery of Harno and the Singular Peanut. If you went to sleep in your own bed, but woke up in a hot tub in Josh’s basement, would you tell anyone? Microdoping is doing vacations right. Statistically, what percentage of twins 69 each other in the womb? On the next episode of Wills Grills: A Big Dicks and Briskets Podcast…Lifting Weights and Smoking Meats (featuring Biff Steel).
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man
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Story of the year, page avenue, in the wake of determination, the black swan, the constant, wolves, until the day I die, Pabst blue ribbon, liquid death, emo, emo nite, emo's not dead, pop-punk, punk, screamo, warped tour, vans warped tour, Kevin Lyman, the used, Atreyu, my chemical romance, Yellowcard, William Ryan key, bayside, Silverstein, Shane told, Saosin, every time I die, Anberlin, Glassjaw, he is legend, destroy rebuild until god shows, 105.7 the point, toby morse, lead singer syndrome, prs guitars, Ernie ball, music man
Nov 12, 202147:56