Parenting In The Thick Of It with Louise Clarke

Dealing With A Controlling Child

An episode of Parenting In The Thick Of It with Louise Clarke

By Louise Clarke
Welcome to the Parenting In The Thick Of It show - the place where you will feel heard, supported and guided through YOUR parenting challenges. If you are tired, stressed, frustrated & struggle with kids not listening/being disrespectful, difficult behaviours, social media, or have a son with ADHD, tune in! By taking inspired action steps, I can help you re-align & create the life you deserve as a parent: to be the parent you know you can be and the parent your child needs you to be. You can find out more about me and get some great FREE parenting tips and tools at www.yourparentingpartner.com
Episode 60: Balancing Screen Time & Green Time
Do you know that the average child in America spends only 5 minutes per day freely playing outside? I found this staggering. I knew the stats were bad, but this bad! In this episode, I discuss what you can do to help your child develop an interest in the real world versus being caught up in the thrill of the virtual one. It is VITAL to the healthy development of their brains. I share with you the blog post that inspired me to talk to this. https://simpleasthatblog.com/trade-screen-time-for-green-time/
07:42
July 20, 2018
Episode 59: Teens, Alcohol, Drugs, Par-tays & The Holidays...
You hear parents discussing this and think you have it all dialled in until it happens to you! What is your plan? Do you have one? A plan for you and a plan for them? Tune in...
09:41
July 19, 2018
Episode 58: How Honest Are You?
I value honesty. A lot. And I hope to instil this value in my children, but how do you do it? I'm not sure there is a "right" answer but in this epidsode, I share my views on it all. Tune in...
06:53
July 18, 2018
Episode 57: It's Amazing What An Aerial Perspective Can Do!
Sometimes when you are in the thick of it you need to see things through a different lens, yes? This particular lens has brought me so much relief and I wanted to share it with you. Tune in...
06:43
July 17, 2018
Episode 56: Smelly Boy, Oh Smelly Boy...
When my neighbour knocked on my door and asked to borrow... my nose, I was intrigued. Little did I know that I already knew the answer, for I had no teenagers at the time. Tune in, it's a good one!
06:35
July 16, 2018
Episode 55: Should Kids Listen To Music While They Are Studying?
This causes many parents much anguish, myself included. Yet, our children claim that it helps them study more effectively!!! What do we do? Lo-Fi might just be a better alternative. If you don't know what it is, tune in...
06:34
July 13, 2018
Episode 54: If We Think Our Children Are Distracted By Screens, We Need To Look At Ourselves...
Little is written and spoken about the fact that adults are becoming more and more distracted by their smartphones. And it is wreaking havoc with their ability to connect with their children. Never before have a generation of parents spent so much "time" face to face with their children and yet be so disconnected from them. This is a huge problem. Tune in...
08:33
July 12, 2018
Episode 53: Can You Force Your Teenager To Do What You Used To Do?
Many parents I work with say this: "When I was his age, I was working so hard... I just don't know why he can't seem to do it?" "Because he is not you" I reply compassionately. It's a tough place to find yourself but as long as we "put" our expectations on our child, they will most probably resist. And, at the end of the day, by the time they are teenagers, it's pretty hard to force them, without the use of bribes, rewards or punishment, which, never works long term. Tune in..
11:12
July 11, 2018
Episode 52: Not On The Same Parenting "Page" As Your Spouse?
Being on a different page is a common thing between parents. It can cause friction between the parents and confusion and inconsistency for the child. If this is something you struggle with, tune in...
08:47
July 10, 2018
Episode 51: I Thought You Would Get A Kick Out Of This!
I just got back from visiting my family in Scotland and this was what my daughter had to say about being left at home with her brothers and about being a "mom"... Tune in!
07:33
July 9, 2018
Episode 50: They Say That High EQ Is A Better Predictor Of Success Over IQ
However it is we choose to quantify or qualify "success", building Emotional Intelligence in our children is super important and in this episode I share with you, where you might start. Tune in...
07:33
July 6, 2018
Episode 49: How Can We Know How To Do Something That We Have Never Done Before?
There is nothing that says we "should" know how to parent. In fact, how can we fully know how to do something that we have never done before? Yet, the reality is, many parents are embarrassed and ashamed of the fact that they sometimes find themselves not knowing what to do. In this episode, I discuss the fact that I see this admission as a sign of great strength. Tune in...
07:20
July 5, 2018
Episode 48: Toddlers, Teens & Triggers
There is nothing that can test us quite like a toddler or teen. It can be exhausting and leave us feeling like we have failed as a parent. Believe it or not, toddlers and teens have a lot in common. When we get these 3 key things right, we find ourselves able to work with them rather than against them. Tune in...
09:26
July 4, 2018
Episode 47: Do You Have A Child That Negotiates With You Over Everything?
When your child argues with you and negotiates with you over everything, it can leave you feeling at your wit's end. In this episode I discuss some strategies that work well for managing exactly this. Tune in...
08:24
July 3, 2018
Episode 46: Why Do I Behave & React The Way I Do?
In episode 45 I discussed the subject of our child's behavior and the fact that there is always more to it than meets the eye. We are no different. If we hope to be able to "react" in socially acceptable ways to our child's various behaviors we have to be aware of all that is going on beneath the surface within us. We have to address our unmet needs. Tune in...
07:39
July 2, 2018
Episode 45: There's Always More Than Meets The Eye
In this episode I help you understand WHY your child sometimes behaves the way he/she does. There's always more going on than meets the eye. We have to ask ourselves: what is the unmet need beneath the behavior and there is always one, if not more. Tune in...
07:56
June 29, 2018
Episode 44: Many Of You Have Requested I Do This, So... Here It Is!
On the show today, I talk you through how you can start to meditate, what you will do and what might happen when you start. We all like to know what to expect, so this is what to expect! At the 4.5 minute mark, I take you through a 2 minute guided meditation, just as I do in my meditation practice. You can use this 2-minute meditation every day to help get you started. It's pretty simple... just you and your breath. Tune in
09:49
June 26, 2018
Episode 43: In My Role As A Parent, Doing This Has Helped Me More Than Anything
I have been discussing the topic of mindfulness and meditation on the Podcast a lot recently. And for good reason. If you are interested in finding more about meditation and HOW you can start to do it, tune in to the show today... For more information on this subject, this link is to a blog post I wrote on just this: http://yourparentingpartner.com/need-just-dont-know/
10:08
June 25, 2018
Episode 42: Do You Struggle To Set Boundaries Around Screen Time?
It's Friday and on the podcast today, I read my most recent blog post: Do You Struggle To Set Boundaries Around Screen Time? Tune in if you need some extra help with this common challenge. It is one that almost every parent I know struggles with. We blame the screens, but at the end of the day, when we can see that the bigger problem is actually our inability to set effective boundaries around it: for ourselves and for our children, we can take positive steps to doing something about it. Within the blog post is access to an awesome Guide & Workbook which I created to help you put it all into action. You can download your copy HERE: https://app.convertkit.com/landing_pages/412496/edit
14:35
June 22, 2018
Episode 41: The "Woowoos" Were Onto Something. Something HUGE...
And for years I've been onto it too, and trust me, I'm so not "woowoo"! At least I don't think I am. Haha! So many parents say to me that they want to find ways to really connect with their child. This is how you do it. You have to first connect with YOURSELF. Tune in...
12:23
June 21, 2018
Episode 40: Do You Know What Has Helped Me MOST As A Mom?
Doing this has been THE most empowering and rewarding thing in my life as a parent. I cannot stress this enough. I truly believe that THIS is where it is at. It is doing THIS that will help you stay calm in the moment when you are caught up in the thick of it. It's the only way out! Tune in...
13:09
June 20, 2018
Episode 39: How To Stay Calm In The Thick Of It? There Is A Way...
This is where it's at. If you can master this, you are good to go! Haha, wouldn't that be nice! It is a work in progress but with practice, you can become so attuned with where your mind is that in the moment, you are more able to sniff the reactivity rising within you and stop it before you do any further damage! Such an important skill to develop. Tune in...
11:08
June 19, 2018
Episode 38: Arghhhh... I'm So Caught Up In It
Sometimes when you are so caught up IN IT, and in the thick of it, you just can't see a way out. Being able to look into it from the outside, offers us the chance to see the big picture. From here, the next step is often more obvious than you realize. Tune in...
06:26
June 18, 2018
Episode 37: Top Strategies For Discussing Report Cards With Your Kids
In this episode, I read this week's blog post on how to facilitate healthy discussions around your child's report card. Tune in...
13:39
June 15, 2018
Episode 36: Fed Up With The Kids Bugging Each Other & Fighting?
Sibling Rivalry... it's so draining and awful to watch and be a part of. What many parents don't realize is that they are inadvertently, and unintentionally, fuelling the fire. If you struggle with this and it's been going on for too long, you will be fuelling the fire! Tune in and find out why, and what you can do.
12:30
June 14, 2018
Episode 35: Instagram... Are You On It? Do You Follow Your Kids On It?
I had such a cool discussion with a mom about this that I wanted to share it with you. If you follow your kids on Instagram, what are your reasons for doing so? I'd love to hear from you. Tune in...
08:11
June 13, 2018
Episode 34: "My Son Is Soooo Disrespectful"... R.E.S.P.E.C.T... Show Me Some!
This is one of THE most common things parent's complain to me about. Sound familiar? The solution to this is not what you think it will be. Understanding this is so key. Tune in...
12:52
June 12, 2018
Episode 33: OMG... Teenagers! They Are So Amazing And Yet So...
One minute you are oooogling over how much you love them, then BOOM... you are triggered beyond anything you have ever experienced before! In this episode I share with you some ways to help you communicate with your teenagers and steer discussions in a specific direction without lecturing! Tune in...
12:33
June 11, 2018
Episode 32: All Families Need To Do This... Do You?
This is possibly one of the most important things we have done as a family and doing so has given our 3 kids the opportunity to develop some super important life skills. Curious... Tune in! http://yourparentingpartner.com/the-most-successful-families-do-this-do-you/ http://yourparentingpartner.com/how-do-i-get-my-kid-to-eat/ BONUS Downloads included
15:10
June 8, 2018
Episode 31: Hot Topic Alert! Devices, Screen Time, Social Media... It's A Biggie!
Such a HUGE topic and one which I'll no doubt revisit over and over again on the show. It's a challenge to all of us but WHY? Why does it bother us as much as it does? You HAVE TO work out your why in order to deal with this beast. Tune in as I share what I try and do...
10:32
June 7, 2018
Episode 30: The Most Encouraging Parenting Tip I Can Think Of...
Understanding and recognizing the difference between praise and encouragement cannot be under-estimated. One helps your child in more ways than you could imagine whilst the other... it's toxic. Tune in. I also wrote about this in a recent blog post and have an awesome FREE download that accompanies it. Knowing this took my parenting to another level altogether. You can find it here: http://yourparentingpartner.com/discussing-report-cards-with-kids/
15:49
June 6, 2018
Episode 29: Dealing With Things In The Heat Of The Moment
When things get heated it's easy to forget about the most important thing - to validate our child's feelings. All too often we go straight to the point, to "fix" things only to find it fuels the fire. Tune in and find out what you can do...
10:13
June 5, 2018
Episode 28: Wait Till Your Hear My Consequence Story!
Many parents struggle with consequences. How, What, When, Why? Consequences are the greatest of teachers for our children because they teach them cause and effect: if X then Y. This is something they have to learn and these tips will help you handle consequences more effectively. Tune in...
13:36
June 4, 2018
Episode 27: Teenagers...Parties, Alcohol, Drugs & Rock 'n Roll
Have you thought about how a conversation might go in the event that your teen comes home drunk or stoned? What will you say and do? In the episode today I discuss just this. What works and what might not work. Some ideas and food for thought. Tune in...
13:11
June 2, 2018
Episode 26: Exams, Tests, End Of The Year Pressure...Help!
This time of the year can be a stressful one for parents but also for children. Kids today are under so much pressure to achieve that I believe it is almost at breaking point. In this episode I discuss ways in which you can deal with this, specifically in helping you shift your focus from the grade or result to the process that will bring about the result. THIS is where the magic can happen. Tune in...
10:28
May 31, 2018
Episode 25: How Do I Get My Kid To Eat?
There's nothing more frustrating than a child who will not eat what you put in front of him/her. In this podcast I share 8 tips which will help you manage this with more ease. You can find all the tips I discuss in this episode in the blog post (link below) including access to a cheat sheet (summary of all the tips), weekly meal planning table and family food preference table. http://yourparentingpartner.com/how-do-i-get-my-kid-to-eat/
12:33
May 30, 2018
Episode 24: Why It Is Vital To Hold The Limits
Setting the boundary is the easy piece - "You can have 30 minutes on your iPad". However, making sure it IS 30 minutes is the hard part. Why is it so hard? Because kids will push back on it. Every time. They don't want it to end. In this episode I discuss just this and what you can do. Listen in...
16:16
May 29, 2018
Episode 23: You Ask Once, Twice, Thrice And Then What?
The holidays are fast approaching and remember, history repeats itself...They often are far from the relaxing break we thought we would be getting! Yes? In todays episode I discuss what you can do in advance of the holidays to bring more R and R. Tune in...
12:45
May 28, 2018
Episode 22: Why The Parenting Books Don't Always Work
Have you ever read a parenting book, got some awesome advice and tips only to find they missed the biggest piece... that being what to do when what they recommend doesn't work!! In this episode I discuss this help you understand what does work and why. Tune in...
10:47
May 25, 2018
Episode 21: Why Judging Our Kiddos Is So Toxic
Judgment... Do you do it? Are you aware of when you do it and why it never turns out well? It's a toxic pattern and one that many parents do without even knowing they are doing. In this episode I explain why we do it and what you can do to get out of it. Tune in...
11:38
May 24, 2018
Episode 20: How To Help An Anxious Child Before They Go To Sleep
Sometimes kids find it hard to actually get to sleep, adults too!! It can often be just the perfect time for our minds to take us for a ride. In this episode I share how I help my son to mind his mind, exit his mind, and use his breath to help him get to sleep. Listen in...
06:59
May 23, 2018
Episode 19: You Just Lost Your Sh*t, Exploded And Stormed out...Now What?
What do you do? In this episode I discuss this and give you lots of ideas and tips around the subject of apologizing. It is so so vital that our kids are able to apologize and it all starts with us and our ability to role model this behaviour to them.
08:59
May 22, 2018
Episode 18: When We Let Fear Drive Us
What you can do when you realize that you are caught in fear and how it prevents you from being able to do what is needed in the present moment. Tune in!
09:35
May 21, 2018
Episode 17: What To Do When Things Don’t Go To Plan
You are faced with a tantrum, or a reactive teenager, find yourself caught in an argument or you child announces they want to quit something... what do you do? Listen in and I’ll give you some ideas.
11:22
May 18, 2018
Episode 16: Preparing Ourselves For Report Cards
Our behaviours and responses to what we see on our child's report card is critical to them developing courage and self-motivation... or not. We have to be aware of how powerful our influence is regarding this. Listen in.
11:57
May 17, 2018
Episode 15: Is Your Behaviour "Good" For Your Kids To Copy?
Children inherit so many of their behaviours from us, their parents so best we give them something acceptable and good to imitate! In this episode I discuss just this and how being aware of our internal landscape can help us shape our behaviours more positively.
13:28
May 16, 2018
Episode 14: Bribes, Rewards, Punishment... Do They Really Work?
In this episode I discuss just this and what happens when you use these methods to "discipline" your child. I refer to a piece called "No Need For Threats" on page 32 of The Parents Tao Te Ching by William Martin.
11:25
May 15, 2018
Episode 13: How To “React” When Your Kids Interrupt You
In this episode I share something that happened to me last week which highlights this.
11:08
May 14, 2018
Episode 12: WT*... Did My TEENAGER Really Just Say That!
How do you respond to that? It seems like no matter what you say, it's never right? Trust me you are not alone! If you struggle with this, tune in. In this episode I discuss ways that work for me and give you lots of ideas to try out.
12:30
May 11, 2018
Episode 11: Arrghhhh Picky Eaters
Do you have a picky eater? Do you dread meal times and find yourself cooking three different things every night? In this episode I discuss some ideas that might help you out. Listen in...
13:53
May 10, 2018
Episode 10: Why You Need To Be An Unabashedly Badass Mom!
Life is so busy for parents today. There are so many distractions. So many things our children can do and be a part of. We have to be unabashedly badass in our ability to make sure our children are getting their basic needs met.
08:58
May 9, 2018
Episode 9: Are Your Kids On Their Devices ALL.THE. TIME?
If you find yourself frustrated and over-whelmed with this, then tune in. In this episode I give you lots of ideas as to how you can manage the beast, aka technology, and navigate it with more ease.
10:49
May 8, 2018
Episode 8: Why Managing Your Expectations Plays Such A Vital Part In Parenting Well
Almost every emotional reaction you have will be as a result of an unmet expectation. They play a huge part in our lives as parents and learning to manage them well and understand the impact of them, is key to being able to find more joy, calm and ease in your life as a parent.
11:02
May 7, 2018
Episode 7: We Cannot Parent Each Child The Same Way!
In this episode I discuss how there is no one style fits all. We have to learn to fine tune and tweak our parenting style to match our child's unique spirit and make up.
08:18
May 4, 2018
Episode 6: Teenagers And How To Tame Your Reactivity When Dealing With Them
Do you find yourself triggered by your teen, and find it hard to control your reactivity? Then tune in, this is for you. In this episode, I offer some super effective strategies for dealing with this. FYI, I refer to the book "Brainstorm" by Dan Siegel.
09:00
May 1, 2018
How To Get Your Kids To Listen - Listen In!
Do you struggle to get your kids to listen? Many parents do. In this episode I discuss why it is I believe kids don't listen and what you can do to help your kids be better listeners.
08:56
April 30, 2018
Sharing My Story On Having A Son With ADHD
Learning that you have a child with ADHD can be a shock to many parents. It was a shock to me, but also in a funny way, a relief to hear. In this episode I share our story on ADHD and hope that in me sharing mine, it helps you in yours. Here is the link to the You Tube video on ADHD by my then, 15 year old son: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lG0WnkR2DM
16:21
April 6, 2018
How To Connect Deeply To Your Child
Do you feel an increasing sense of dis-connect in communities and in your life as a parent? Being truly connected to your child, family and community is hard today - there are so many distractions. In today's episode I discuss how you can become more connected with your children and family.
11:01
March 17, 2018
Dealing With A Controlling Child
This is such a common problem today and dealing with child that wants to control everything is both exhausting and frustrating. In this episode I reply to a frustrated and about to lose it mum who reached out for help. I discuss a few things you can do in order to start bringing about some positive changes. You have to first understand that you have played a part in creating the patterns of control that exist. You can't change your child but you can change the way in which you respond to them. This is key. You are the leader and the guide. There can be no fight if there are not two people willing to fight. Can you pick two things that you continually fight for control of and let go of them. For example: food, clothes, a raincoat, the chair he sits on at dinner. I know, it seems ridiculous when you read it here, but these are exactly the sorts of things we usually end up fighting over! Can you pick two things that you can ask him to start doing for himself. Can you ask him to help you
07:13
March 4, 2018
Episode 1
Are you tired of your kids not listening to you? Fed up with them being on their devices ALL. THE. TIME? Done with nagging because it doesn't change anything except continue to drain you? Do you feel like you never get any time to yourself? You are not alone. Welcome! I'm so excited to be here with you IN THE THICK OF IT. I understand where you are at and I'm happy you have found this place: a safe place to land. Send me your parenting questions via the CONTACT tab at the top of my website page: www.yourparentingpartner.com Each week, I'll be picking one and helping YOU through the thick of it. Who is going to be first? PS. It's anonymous. No names.
02:54
March 4, 2018
Make your own podcast for free with Anchor!