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Make the Shift

Make the Shift

By Master Life Coach-Krista Resnick

Welcome to Make the Shift, a podcast that teaches you how to stop settling, embrace your truth and create a life that you love.

You were created to live a life that feels true to you, but somewhere along the way, you got caught up in saying YES to everyone BUT you. You got caught up in playing by someone else's rules and dismissing your own desires and truth.

This show is a bold and unabashed guide to finding your voice, harnessing your true desires, and leading the life you really want. Together, let's make some shifts so you can lead in life, relationships and love.


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🎧{TSBA 25}-Creating amazing friendships with Noelle Rhodes

Make the ShiftSep 07, 2020

00:00
01:03:24
135: Guilt Free Self Care with Alyssa Celotto

135: Guilt Free Self Care with Alyssa Celotto

As humans, we simply cannot operate at full speed 24/7/....but how many of us try?

I know I'm guilty of pushing myself to the maximum capacity trying to do more, have more, be more and squeeze it all in. But somewhere along the way, we begin to shut down. We simply are not hardwired to push and prove all day everyday. Our health takes a toll, a relationship crashes and burns or we find ourselves continually missing things in our kids lives that we never would have dreamed we would miss when we first held them in our arms.

Today's guest Alyssa Celetto is the Founder of Fabulous Nutrition. Alyssa helps moms who want to take control of their health naturally, nourish their body and change the way they see food, relax into more restorative sleep and be free to enjoy life more -even with a long list of projects to accomplish.

She is a registered dietitian-nutritionist who loves all food and believes that it is unnecessary to sacrifice the foods we love to consider ourselves healthy. What I love about Alyssa is that she deeply appreciates the value of life, recognizing that we only get to go around this beautiful planet ONCE. She is committed to helping women sustain the energy and strength to pursue all the things they love with the people they love for as long as possible.

Alyssa and I have a great conversation about self care in general and how we can easily weave food into our daily life to nourish and sustain us in order to contribute to the world in the way that we were destined to do.


Listen to Discover:

  • How Alyssa defines self care
  • What gets in the way of self care
  • How to deal with guilt when it comes to self care
  • Why self care is vital

As adults we need to learn how to advocate for our own self care and not feel guilty about it. I hope this episode gives you permission to make the shift from not owning your needs and your own self care to taking your power back and putting self care on the front burner of your life.


"We are losing our sense of connection with self, we are losing our sense of self nourishment and self care." ~ Krista Resnick

"Our values and beliefs need to be considered when we're making a decision of how we want to eat and how we decide to carry out our daily life." ~Alyssa Celotto

"For much of my life. I didn't have space. It was stimulus, react, stimulus, reactive stimulus, react." ~Krista Resnick

"Part of my healing has been learning to create space. " ~Krista Resnick

"I lived for close to 40 years as though my life and everything in it was urgent." ~Krista Resnick

"We get used to living in this stressful state." ~Alyssa Celotto

"Self Care is the awareness of one's physical, mental and emotional needs at any given time, and consciously serving those needs." ~Alyssa Celotto

"We need rest, we need the time to be able to move our bodies. We need time to be able to care for ourselves, so that we can have the strength and energy to continue to support others." ~Alyssa Celotto

"If I notice that I'm feeling guilty, I can ask myself, Am I really doing something wrong?" ~Alyssa Celotto

"Preparing a meal has like meditative components to it." ~Alyssa Celotto


Krista Resnick | Instagram | Facebook

Alyssa Celetto | Alyssa's Self Care Planner | Instagram | Facebook

Jun 14, 202301:02:29
134: Using Anger & Shame to Set Boundaries with Karla McLaren

134: Using Anger & Shame to Set Boundaries with Karla McLaren

Anger and shame Two emotions that I don't know if any of us have been taught to like let alone embrace.

My friend and guest today, Karla McLaren loves both anger and shame because they are powerful messages that lead us to deeper healing and growth. We've been taught to stay away from these beautiful emotions for so many reasons, but they are truly here to give us feedback and help us grow.

Karla McLaren, M.Ed., is an award-winning author, researcher, workplace consultant, and empathy expert. Her grand unified theory of emotions revalues even the most “negative” emotions and opens new pathways to self-awareness, effective communication, and healthy empathy.

When it comes to setting boundaries, Karla teaches us that anger is essential because it points us to our values and the things that matter to us. As she shares with us, shame helps us to live up to the morals, codes and agreements that we've made. Unfortunately, many of us learned about shame by being shamed.

In this episode Karla shares with us some valuable ways to understand our anger and our shame so that we can use it to set healthy boundaries for ourselves and create healthier relationships and satisfying lives.

Karla will have you looking at both anger and shame in a whole new lens. And once we begin to see both of these emotions in a different light, they become less scary and have much less of a hold on us. In fact, we can start to use them as they were actually designed for.


Listen to Discover:

  • What anger is and why it is such a valuable emotion
  • Why we fear big emotions like anger and shame
  • Why we blame emotions for causing problems, when in fact, emotions arise to help us deal with problems.
  • Why anger and shame are essential emotions for setting healthy boundaries.
  • Why we blame these emotions (anger and shame) for people’s lack of emotional skills.


"Shame helps me live up to the morals, ethics and agreements that I've made. And if I start to step out of true with that, shame is going to say "Hey, what, hold on, there's some things going on here."-Karla McLaren

"When you are a friend, you are that trusted person that is you've been brought into my too deeply into my circle." -Krista Resnick

"I think a lot of times when people hear the word boundaries, they see a brick wall." -Karla McLaren

"Anger represents what we value, what we stand for. What matters to us." -Krista Resnick

"Anger, is a deeply loving emotion. You can't have a healthy relationship unless you have your anger working well." -Karla McLaren

" I define boundaries as who I am in this world, and what's important to me." -Karla McLaren

"When we can't access or have trouble accessing our anger, we will inevitably have trouble activating implementing our boundaries." -Krista Resnick

"Anger is the emotion that helps us set boundaries." -Karla McLaren

"We've been taught extensively not to pay attention to our emotions. We've been taught that there's such a thing as a negative emotion, which is nonsense." -Karla McLaren

"Anger doesn't have a violence component to it. But most of us have only seen anger as violence." -Karla McLaren


Krista Resnick | The BOLD Experience

Karla McLaren | Empathy Academy



May 24, 202355:13
133: Stop fixing people with Theresa

133: Stop fixing people with Theresa

This episode is about overcoming people-pleasing patterns and getting into alignment with who you truly are. Today's caller, Theresa recognizes she has people pleasing patterns, but finds that when conflict arises-she immediately steps in to save the day. She is exhausted and disappointed by always doing what she thinks will make other people happy. If you are a people pleaser, this is an important call for you to listen to.


People-pleasing is a pattern that begins when we form a belief at a young age that we get more validation and love and avoid criticism or punishment if we are good and doing what others want us to do. It begins as a pattern at a very early age but it’s just a pattern. It is not who we are. It’s not an aspect of our personality or soul expression. People pleasing can show up many different ways-for some of us it's always wanting to be seen doing good, for others it's always wanting to be seen achieving and striving and for other's its doing whatever they can to avoid conflict. This was the case for my caller Theresa.


She wants to be in a loving two sided relationship, but she can't seem to advocate for herself and stop making it her job to manage others. Theresa did not grow up in a home that modeled conflict in a healthy manner-everything was shoved under the rug and never really 'dealt' with. Conflict does not have to equal violence. Conflict can be a beautiful way to share your feelings and your needs within relationships and work together to get those needs met. It's important to remember that just because conflict feels bad doesn't mean it is bad and it's not something we need to be afraid of or shy away from. Conflict actually helps us to pause and examine what is important to us, what are we 'fighting for?' However, when it's never been modeled for you, conflict can in fact feel terrifying. Learning how to move through conflict by speaking up for yourself is so vital for setting boundaries and breaking the people pleasing patterns.


Before listening to this episode, consider:

  • What was modeled in your household growing up in terms of conflict?
  • Do you spend more time fixing others than being on your own side of the street?
  • Does it make you uncomfortable when other people have big emotions?
  • Do you freeze or shutdown when you think someone is upset?

Links

Live Coaching | Krista Resnick



May 10, 202301:08:23
132: How to be an EMPOWERED Woman with Marta Spirk

132: How to be an EMPOWERED Woman with Marta Spirk

We talk a lot in today's world about being 'empowered' but what does that actually mean? Today's guest, Marta Spirk certainly knows a thing or two about what it takes to empower yourself and that's what today's show is all about.

After the surprise and blessing of triplets in 2016, she found a passion for encouraging and empowering women - as she learned to encourage and empower myself through the hardships of adult (and triplet) life.

Marta helps women to stop spinning their wheels trying random personal development resources, and finally learn to boost confidence and grow their business by looking at their most valuable resource - THEMSELVES!.

In this episode, empowerment coach Marta Spirk shares with us her 5 step framework of how to empower yourself.

Listen to Discover:

  • How Marta came up with her 5 step process
  • Why the power of forgiveness Is such an important part of feeling empowered
  • One of the #1 things that steals our power (and it's something we don't even realize)
  • Why you don't always need to have your steps planned out-sometimes your plan reveals itself to you as you MOVE
  • How Marta moved through the challenging circumstances when family disapproved of her choices to move forward with her career

"If you start changing your thoughts, your reality is going to change, because YOU create your reality." ~Marta Spirk

"If you want empowered kids, you need to empower yourself." ~Marta Spirk

"If you want empowered kids, empower yourself." ~Marta Spirk

"In order to take your power back, you need to realize what has taken your power from you. And often you are giving it away to patterns of resentment that you don't even know are there. " ~Marta Spirk

"Allow yourself to brag about things because if you don't, then who will?" ~Marta Spirk


⁠Krista Resnick⁠ | ⁠Monthly Group Coaching⁠ | ⁠Ask for Anything Guide⁠

⁠Marta Spirk⁠ | ⁠The Empowered Woman Book⁠ | ⁠Instagram⁠ | ⁠Facebook

Apr 26, 202355:33
131: Make The Shift Trailer
Apr 19, 202304:47
130: Live Coaching: Setting Healthy Boundaries in an Intense Situation with Blessing

130: Live Coaching: Setting Healthy Boundaries in an Intense Situation with Blessing

Sometimes it can feel like there is so much at stake when we set healthy boundaries. Especially when there are outside influences that appear to have control over our situation.

Often family members can especially triggering. We have a lot of history with them and they know exactly what buttons to push (sometimes purposely but more often subconsciously). There are so many old patterns and programs we run with family members it can sometimes feel like we “regress” after just a few minutes or hours in their presence.

However, on some level- I believe we choose our family to help us evolve and grow in the ways we need. They are our teachers and often issues with family put us on our awakening path. Boundaries with family members are a great way to practice integrating all the tools you have learned on your personal development journey.

You are the one to stop not doing the martyr thing. You are the one to not be coerced by guilt or obligation disguised as “love.” You are the one to end the addiction cycle. You are the one to break free of limiting beliefs, and scarcity thinking. You are the one to end abuse. You are the one who is raising your children differently. You are the one to opt out of dysfunctional and toxic dynamics. You are the one who truly understands love.

And remember, love is unconditional but relationships have conditions. Just because someone is a relative or partner does not give them permission to treat you with disrespect or even be in your life. Consider what boundaries it may be time to set with certain people. Make this the year that you say “no more” to just tolerating crappy behavior and things being said to you.

This week on the podcast I spoke to Blessing who wants to know how to set healthy boundaries where there is coercive control that include campaigns of silence and stonewalling. We talked about all of the things Blessing is doing right already, and how she will need to start thinking and behaving if she wants to be the one to break the cycle with her family and move forward with her life.

Listen if you want to learn how to break old patterns and set healthy boundaries with challenging people in your life.

Before you listen consider:

  • Are you a rule follower because you experienced a chaotic childhood and now playing by the rules helps you to feel safe?
  • Do you struggle with guilt even around little things like making decisions that are necessary such as taking care of yourself?
  • Was there a lot of chaos in your childhood home with out the witnessing of repair work?
  • Do you consider yourself boundary-less? Someone who literally cannot set a boundary if their life depended on it?
  • Do you settle for any little breadcrumb of attention because you are so hungry for love and validation?

"There are times where we do need to be careful who we are being vulnerable and open with and giving our hearts to if we know that they have a pattern of not being able to hold us and meet us, in our in our most vulnerable places."~Krista Resnick

"All of us want to be seen, be heard, be loved. We want to belong." ~Krista Resnick

"As long as we're in relationship with other people, there's going to be disruption, there's always gonna be conflict. That's just how relationships works. This is why learning how to repair is vital." ~Krista Resnick

Krista Resnick | Instagram | Facebook



Apr 12, 202301:07:26
129: The Mask of the Good Girl

129: The Mask of the Good Girl

If you grew up socialized as a woman, and you identify as a highly sensitive person, there's a good chance that you suffer from what is referred to as 'good girl' conditioning."Good girl" is a phrase tossed around a lot on social media these days and it's something that most of my clients struggle with deeply.

In this episode, my intention is to unpack my version of what good girl conditioning means to me.

This is a mask I know all too well. Plagued by my own insecurity and unworthiness, I wore the mask of good girl to appease and belong. I never wanted to ruffle a single feather. However the costs of the good girl reeked havoc on every area of my life and my relationships.


Before listening to this episode consider:

  • Were you taught that if you stayed small, followed the rules, obeyed, and didn’t question that you would stay safe and be protected?
  • Were you taught to stay in good favor with others even at the cost of your own self betrayal?
  • Do you secretly feel resentment toward others in your life?
  • Do you NEVER experience any sort of conflict in your life?
  • Are you a rule follower to the extreme?
  • Do you have to always get things perfect before putting them out into the world.


If so, you might be wearing the mask of the good girl. In this episode I share two simple and potent exercises for helping you being to explore how this might show up in your life and where it can be blocking you from everything you deserve.


"The good girl focuses on being polite, virtuous, palatable, pretty, youthful, respectful and respectable ... at the cost of her soul, values, desires, and her authenticity."~Krista Resnick


"Right now, the world is crying out for more women to heal from this good girl conditioning and can access their full intuition, creativity and agency and lead from a place of fierce compassion."~Krista Resnick


Krista Resnick | ⁠Apply to Work with Me

Mar 29, 202324:36
128: Understanding 'your parts' with Tammy Sollenberger

128: Understanding 'your parts' with Tammy Sollenberger

Have you ever caught yourself saying, "A part of me wants to start getting up early and meditating and a part of wants to keep sleeping." Or, "A part of me wants to go the part on Friday night, but a part of me wants to curl up in bed with a bowl of ice cream and binge out for hours on Netflix." Well, you aren't crazy-these are 'your parts.'  Parts work otherwise known as Internal Family Systems (a model of therapy developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz) is one of the most incredible healing modalities that I have ever seen truly help people transform their lives.  


Today's guest, Tammy Sollenberger is a certified IFS therapist and author of "The One Inside" a book that helps you to get to know your own parts on a deeper more personal level.

In this episode, Tammy helps us understand our parts, why and how they developed and how they show up in our lives to help us.  While sometimes they seem really annoying and even disturbring (like our over-drinking parts, codependent parts, inner critic parts, self doubt parts, good girl parts)-they really play an integral role in our lives.  Parts often lurk in the background and until we can get curious about and even learn to love them for the role they play, it will feel like a never ending battle.  

We are so accustomed to fixing, changing, blaming, shaming and analyzing ourselves to death.  Quite frankly, it's exhausting!  When we learn to meet our parts with a soft curiosity and even compassion-it is truly the missing piece!

Listen to learn: What IFS or Parts work is What makes it different than other therapy modalities Why parts develop What parts roles are The different types of parts How you can work with your parts to help them soften and create what it is that you crave in your life "We end up in marriages and relationships and wonder, "Why aren't our needs ever being met, why don't I have any feelings about this or that? And why do my relationships suck?"  Well, it could be there are parts of you that have learned this is how you have to be in relationships in order to be loved." ~Tammy Sollenberger

"Our parts can be exhausting, because they work endlessly to ensure that we never feel rejected abandoned or alone." ~Tammy Sollenberger

"What I also love so much about IFS is that it provides you a different lens to view the world and other people.   When you start to see other people's parts you start to understand Oh, he's not actually acting that way because he's a legit jerk, We start to understand Oh, there's a part showing up here." ~Krista Resnick  Krista Resnick | Instagram |Facebook

Tammy Sollenberger | The One Inside Book | Instagram | The One Inside Podcast


Mar 15, 202301:06:29
127: Your Voice Matters with Brienne Hennessy

127: Your Voice Matters with Brienne Hennessy

Do you sometimes struggle to have your voice heard, to take up space and to communicate in a way that really own who you are?  

So many of us bought into the belief that our voices don't matter.  And yet voice is a way for us to communicate our boundaries, our needs and our truth.  The way we speak is a direct correlation to our confidence and self worth.  

Today's guest, Brienne Hennessy is the Founder of Your Vocal Vitality, a highly-sought after Vocal Empowerment Guide, and bestselling Author.  She expertly guides women executives, entrepreneurs and speakers to communicate with more aligned presence, speak frequently without fatigue or strain, and listen to their intuitive inner voice to show up as their truest selves.   Brienne’s clients have succeeded in protecting the vital asset of their voice to increase speaking voice stamina and improve their communication and ease with their audiences, which has resulted in more public speaking prowess and profit for their businesses! Her mission: elevate voice health holistically and enhance self-worth via your unique voice!


My goal with this episode is to take something a tool that we utilize every day (our voice) and consider HOW we are using it.  It's an opportunity to take a closer look at how your voice might be a reflection of where you are holding back, playing the good girl and minimizing your truth.  


"I believe women can connect to their self worth via their voice." ~Brienne Hennessy

"To be heard means to listen to yourself and hear yourself first." ~Brienne Hennessy

" I believe it's a real battle to create rich relationships in your life, when you haven't taken the time to deeply connect with yourself." ~Krista Resnick

"One of my main convictions is love your voice love yourself."~ Brienne Hennessy


Krista Resnick | Website | Instagram | Facebook

Brienne Hennessy | Website | Facebook | Linkedin

To get in touch with Brienne for her VIP day, email her directly at brienne@yourvocalvitality.com

 

Mar 08, 202301:13:40
126. Boundaries & Alcohol with Dr. Sherry Price

126. Boundaries & Alcohol with Dr. Sherry Price

Do you ever feel confused by your relationship with alcohol?  

You may be thinking that you don't necessarily have a 'problem' per se, but curious as to why you keep reaching for something that you know deep down is keeping you from feeling the way you want to feel.   The truth is that alcohol in and of itself isn't necessarily a 'bad thing.'  We drink to have fun, be social, celebrate and connect with one another.  However, there can be a fine line between having fun and being social and recognizing that there might be a bigger issue at hand.   

Today's guest, Sherry B. Price, PharmD, MBA, APh, BCPS is a women’s empowerment coach, pharmacist, and creator of the Drink Less Lifestyle. She helps women kick the over-drinking habit and regain confidence and control around alcohol while creating a life they love.  I recognize that this can be a tender topic and I love the gentleness and grace that Dr. Sherry approaches something so touchy with.   In this episode I am chatting with Dr. Sherry about her own relationship with alcohol and what led her to realize that maybe she did need to re-examine how she was approaching it.   

Dr. Sherry breaks down 

  • Gray Area Drinking: 
  • Does it have to be an all or nothing approach? 
  • Getting to the Root of the Problem: why most efforts to cut back or stop overdrinking fail.  
  • Why Getting Help is Taboo Other Options for Help outside of preventative 
  • AND MORE! 

If you're ready to explore your relationship with alcohol (or anything you might do in excess), you won't want to miss this episode.  

 "Life is about expressing our fullness and not having to rely on a substance to be able to do that for us." Sherry Price "I never thought my drinking was that severe, yet it was more than I wanted." Sherry Price 

"I was a gray area drinker. Meaning, I  wasn't so severe that I needed to do rehab or check in somewhere. But it was definitely impacting certain areas of my life." Sherry Price 

"I'm not quite an alcoholic. So these options (rehab, day treatment programs) don't work. But then what other help is there?" Sherry Price 

"I always thought it was a drinking problem. And the more I thought it was a drinking problem, the more I focused on the alcohol, and putting rules around my drinking like- I'm not going to have it Monday through Thursday, but I'll allow myself to have it Friday and Saturday. However, the truth was that I  wasn't doing the inner work.  I wasn't looking at what was causing the desire for my excessive drinking."  Sherry Price 

"If what's driving you to drink is a painful marriage or something else going on in your life. Let's work on that." Sherry Price "What's your go to? Check in  with yourself and evaluate.. when I become really triggered, stressed or overwhelmed. What do I reach for?" Krista Resnick 

"It's about your relationship with alcohol. Perhaps it's worth asking the question-Why I'm choosing to grab that glass?"  Krista Resnick 

Krista Resnick | Website | Instagram | Facebook 

Dr. Sherry Price | Website | Instagram | Facebook 

Feb 22, 202355:03
125:  Boundaries & Teens with Elise Knox

125: Boundaries & Teens with Elise Knox

Elise Knox is a life and wellness coach, yoga teacher, and former middle school teacher who works with moms and teens. She is fascinated by brain development and the nervous system and believes that understanding these two things can make teen years so much easier for mamas and teens.

Elise offers mama centered and teen centered coaching packages. Her mission is to bring enjoyment back into family relationships by helping her clients connect with themselves so that they can stay connected to their loved ones.

In today's episode, we talk about all things boundaries, teens and so much more.  I have a passion for parents staying connected to their kids during those turbulent years (having raised 3 of them myself) so this episode is near and dear to my heart.  

Before listening to this episode consider:

  • Do you want to feel more connected to your teen?
  • Do you feel disempowered and even a bit hesitant in your parenting?
  • Do you often struggle to find the words and compassionately communicate with your child?
  • Do you feel disconnected and distant from your teen?
  • Are you challenged to know what healthy boundaries should look like when it comes to your teen?

"There's so many aspects to being a parent of a teen that are challenging." ~Elise Knox

"I think teens get a bad rap. When you meet with them one on one, the depth and the width in the knowledge and the capacity in these young people is amazing." ~Elise Knox

"When it comes to mom's of teens, one of the best thing a mother can do is to be connected to herself. So often we are busy fixing problems or worrying about our kids, but ultimately our own cup has to be full in order to meet our teen and her needs." ~Elise Knox

LINKS FROM EPISODE

Krista Resnick

Elise Knox | Instagram | 7 Days of Connection with your Teen


Feb 15, 202301:12:15
124: How to be Visible with Susan Barber

124: How to be Visible with Susan Barber

I can't think of a better time to release this episode than the New Year.  So many of us want to create beautiful things in this fresh season, yet we struggle with comparison, convincing ourselves that we don't have the right skill set to share our gifts.  Or we struggle with fear, believing that we aren't smart enough or qualified to share our opinions and our wisdom.  This doesn't move the needle forward on anything our hearts desire and it leaves us feeling hopeless, insecure and disappointed.

That's why this discussion with Susan Barber, Visibility Coach, author and podcaster is so imperative right now.

Susan and I chat about all things visibility whether it's being more visible in your marriage, friendships, community or corporation.  She has put together a simple  framework that people can use to begin being visible in their own style, and authenticity.  What I love about this dialogue is how honest and vulnerable Susan is with her own struggle to be visible.  I learned so much from this discussion and I have no doubt you will too.

Before listening consider:

  • Are you being visible in your relationships, in your communities, in your marriage?
  • Do you have a tendency to hide yourself, to placate and play small?
  • Do you find yourself constantly working, staying busy, and having a full calendar?
  • Do you find yourself battling imposter syndrome-thinking you’re not smart enough, good enough, need to know more before you speak up?
  • Do you doubt yourself and your capabilities?
  • Do you want to come out of your shell and play bigger this year?

Listen to Learn:

  • What visibility is
  • Why visibility matters
  • Why we sometimes struggle to be visible.
  • How to begin to release perfectionism so you can be visible in the way that you desire.
  • Simple tips to start being more visible and having a presence whether it's in the boardroom OR your life.


“Two words I have embraced for myself…imperfect action!” ~Susan Barber

“I never really knew how to trust myself. I didn't know how to trust that I was doing the right things, I would always wait for someone else to tell me.” ~Susan Barber

“The baby steps in between that actually get us from A to B.” ~Susan Barber

“Feedback can help you amplify your potential.”~Krista Resnick

CLEAR IS KIND VISION PLANNING PARTY-BOUNDARY STYLE

SUSAN BARBER

The Visibility Book

The Visibility Factor Podcast




Jan 11, 202355:54
123: Creating from Alignment
Jan 04, 202344:06
122:  New Years Reflection-Creating from a place of deep clarity and alignment
Dec 28, 202242:13
121: Self Sabotage-What is it and Why do we do it?

121: Self Sabotage-What is it and Why do we do it?

Have you ever set a goal or wanted something in life but 3 days later you found yourself "sabotaging" the very thing you say you are after?

Have you ever felt like you were stuck somewhere between wanting to lose weight and eating the oreos, wanting to be more connected with your kids yet staring into a device once again at the dinner table or wanting to commit to a spiritual practice, but never following through?

Welcome to being HUMAN!!!!  We live with these conflictual parts inside of us each and everyday.  We find ourselves often doing things we don't want to do and don't even like-especially when we are under stress.  

This takes a huge toll on our self worth and our life.

But these parts are not who we are.  Our true Self is our God Image-the part of us that is courageous, compassionate, curious and calm.  

In this episode I explain why I don't believe we actually self sabotage and why we really aren't stuck like we think we are.  

This is one episode you won't want to miss!

Listen to Learn:

  • Why I don't believe in self sabotage
  • Why we aren't stuck like we think we are
  • What our true essence really is
  • Why we "self -sabotage" 

"Vague vision equals vague results." ~Krista Resnick

"The idea of stuckness seems to almost be a part of the human condition." ~Krista Resnick

"We're really not sabotaging as much as we are protecting." ~Krista Resnick

"Asking for support is one of the most courageous, courageous, brave things you can do." ~Krista Resnick


LINKS IN EPISODE:

APPLY TO WORK WITH ME

CLEAR IS KIND VISION PLANNING-BOUNDARY STYLE

Dec 21, 202252:17
120:  GUILT: The struggle is REAL!

120: GUILT: The struggle is REAL!

Today's podcast was inspired by a question I received from a podcast listener-"Hi Krista! I've been wondering how to deal with the guilt that comes from not wanting to meet and greet elders who I no longer look up to due to their harmful behavior." Here in India, in my family, we women ought to respect and tolerate elders (even if they are mean).  I'm wondering how I can slyly get through this without much heartburn or drama!

Sound familiar?  Do you struggle with guilt?  If so, you are not alone.  We are taught from an early age to take responsibility for how other people feel.

“Susan-how do you think that made that person feel?”  "Abby, go say your sorry."  "Sarah, just look at how Debbie feels-that's terrible that you said that!"

Many times, our caregivers and parents meant well, but if our younger childhood parts experienced mis-attunement, disconnection, or were not offered the core needs of safety, love, connection, belonging, and understanding by our caregivers in childhood, an inner child wound is formed. 

This can often shows up in adulthood as a deep feeling of guilt, fear of abandonment, lack of trust, and/or self-neglect.  Guilt drives our behavior to feeling a level of obligation-committing to things and people that we aren't necessarily excited about committing to and in essence creating lives that are mediocre rather than a life coming from a place of a FULL YES!!!

Listen to Learn:

  • What guilt is
  • Why guilt is actually a healthy feeling
  • What guilt is designed to do
  • Where guilt comes from
  • A three step tool to help you move through guilt and say YES to the things that light your soul on fire (rather than commit to things because of an obligation).

"While we can’t physically go back in time and change the past, we can be present to how our past impacts us today and choose to show up for ourselves and heal the younger parts of us that are wounded. " ~Krista Resnick

"If your younger parts experienced mis-attunement, disconnection, or were not offered the core needs of safety, love, connection, belonging, and understanding by our caregivers in childhood, an inner child wound is formed."~ Krista Resnick

"We are taught from an early age to take responsibility for how other people feel."~Krista Resnick

"Guilt has a specific purpose-it has a specific job.  Just like fear.  Fear is designed to keep us safe-don’t run toward the bear, don’t run off that cliff." ~Krista Resnick

"Guilt is designed to re-route behavior."~Krista Resnick


Links from this Episode

Application to Work with Me



Dec 14, 202246:55
119:  HELP!  I do all the Holiday Work!!!

119: HELP! I do all the Holiday Work!!!

Today's podcast was inspired by a listener named Jan.  Here is what she wrote-"Hi Krista, I love the holidays, but feel I end up doing most of the work, cleaning, decorating, shopping, etc and get exhausted just even thinking about it!  I don't think I get to fully enjoy the holidays as those around me get to."

This is such a common issue not only at the holidays, but in everyday life.  Many of us over-help, manage and  strive to be useful and productive at our workplaces, our homes, and in our relationships often at our own detriment.  

As a result, our needs go unmet.  We try to hint by being dropping subtle hints or even becoming passive aggressive, but to no avail-other people often don't pick up on our vague requests.  We are terrified to be honest about what's not working in the relationship because we are trying to manage someone else's feelings.  

This episode I dive into the topic of choice, needs, staying regulated and allowing yourself to feel your feelings-all really important things to acknowledge when we are doing the hard work of mastering our boundaries.  

Listen to learn:

  • Why needs are the foundation to boundaries
  • The #1 mindset you need for setting any boundary
  • Why boundaries are an essential tool for any important relationship
  • Why boundaries sometimes feel so challenging

"When we don't acknowledge the fact that we've got choice, that is the exact moment that our life goes into chaos and we become a victim of life." ~Krista Resnick

"We want to create a space- a pause before we react.  Because in these situations, we get to ask the hard questions...do we HAVE to entertain?   And do I HAVE to do ALL of the work? Is that the way that it has to be just because that's the way that it's always been done? Or could there be another possibility here? Could there be some other choices? Could there be some other alternative options that we get to take a look at?" ~Krista Resnick

"Needs are not the same as being needy.  Needy is coming from that place of your unhealed wounds. It's that 'you complete me' type energy. It's I need you to do X, Y or Z or to show up as X, Y or Z so that I can be okay. Needs come from our leadership. They come from our autonomy. They come from our sovereignty which sounds like... 'Hey, I have a need. And because I am a sovereign human being, because I love and honor myself I am asking for this need to be met." ~Krista Resnick 


LINKS:

How to Not Be So Hard On Yourself

REPLAY-Holiday Triggers & Trip-Ups

HEALTHY HOLIDAY WORKBOOK




Dec 07, 202246:06
118: Boundaries and the Holidays Part 2

118: Boundaries and the Holidays Part 2

As the holidays approach, like many of you-I too can feel a level of angst.  

Sometimes it’s as if someone has taken a small pinhole to my balloon and slowly I am leaking out my life force and vitality.  It’s hard being around family members who don’t show up in a loving, kind and conscious manner. It’s hard to be around friends and family who take zero responsibility for their hurtful behaviors.  And it’s hard to be around friends and family who want to stay stuck on the victim triangle and expect you to jump on board with them.

There are times it almost doesn’t seem worth it-to speak up, to lean into risk, but when we continue to shove everything under the rug eventually we trip, we  stumble and hurt ourselves in the process.   I believe that it’s time to get serious about that.  It’s not my job (or yours) to shove my truth deep down just to manage other people’s feelings.

When we suppress our truth, it takes us right out of our sovereignty-our aliveness-our very lifeforce.

In this episode I am sharing two very powerful mindsets to empower you to take your sovereignty back into your own hands, to experience the holidays the way that YOU desire so that you don’t have to keep waiting for your external circumstances to change.

Listen to learn:

  • How you can find guidance and wisdom in your challenges
  • The reason we get stuck creating a life by default
  • The #1 mindset you can use to get back to the helm of your own personal leadership.

"When we suppress our truth, it takes us right out of our own sovereignty-aliveness- our very own lifeforce." ~Krista Resnick

"The minute we forget we have choice-is the minute our life goes into chaos and we become a victim of life." ~Krista Resnick

"When we are constantly reacting-avoiding, stuffing, suppressing-who or what owns you?" ~Krista Resnick

LINKS

Replay-Holiday Triggers & Trip Ups

Replay-Healthy Holiday Boundaries Workshop


Nov 30, 202252:06
117: Boundaries & The Holidays

117: Boundaries & The Holidays

What do you want your holidays to look like, feel like this year?

Ultimately how we do anything is how we do everything-so if you don't love how your holidays feel, we have to ask-"where else is that showing up in your life?"  Where have you given your power away and ultimately believe that you don't have choice.

When we forget that we have the power of choice-we live our lives un-intentionally.  And days becomes weeks, weeks become years and years become our whole entire life!  I believe we've got to get serious about this!  So while this episode is using the holiday season as an opportunity to get clear on what actually matters to you, we can use what I'm sharing here and apply it to our entire life.  

Are you choices of what you are giving your time, energy and resources to made consciously? When you say YES to something, is that actually what you want? When you say NO to something, it that actually what you want?  Are you giving your life force to things that make you feel alive? 

This episode is one that you will want to come back to again and again as I am sharing basic principles and ideas about how to create a life by design.  

We get caught up in believing it's the big flashy moments that we grow, but it's everything in between-it's the small daily choices, habits, decisions and conversations that produce the most fruit.  

I too am reminding myself that much of what I (we) do is wildly unimportant.  Using our discernment to align to what makes us feel alive is powerful and places us right back at the helm of our leadership.  

Listen to Learn:

  • The 3 mindsets you need to ditch in order to empower yourself and feel alive this holiday season and beyond. 
  • Two powerful questions you can sit with to create a holiday season that feels aligned for you.  

"I was standing in the toy aisle at Target, crying, because ultimately I felt as if I didn't have the power of choice." ~Krista Resnick

"We have to start getting serious about the fact that our entire life will pass us by if we are not intentional about it." ~Krista Resnick

"We cannot do everything." ~Krista Resnick

"Most people have this invisible obligation to things, situations, and people, pushing us to believe that ultimately, we don't have a choice." ~Krista Resnick

LINKS MENTIONED

Healthy Holidays Workshop

Healthy Holidays Workbook

REPLAY-Holiday Triggers & Trip Ups

Nov 23, 202242:29
116: Breaking the cycle of avoiding conflict with Katie

116: Breaking the cycle of avoiding conflict with Katie

What happens when you try to set a boundary with someone but old stories and programming are driving you to feel guilty and say yes.

Guilt can be a helpful feeling when we have actually done something wrong.  It allows us the opportunity to re-route our behavior, clean up our mess, make amends and move on.  When looked at this way-guilt can be a beautiful feeling.

However, guilt can often be used in an unhealthy manner.  Many times we want to be seen as a good person, so we use guilt to beat ourselves up-to make ourselves suffer for a choice we made so that we still can be seen as a good mom, good friend, good daughter, good wife.

Today’s caller Katie has butted heads with her daughter since she was born.  When Katie and her ex divorced, she  admits she would give in to her daughter’s every whim in fear of losing her to her ex-husband.

Katie is finding herself in a new season of life, excited about her future as she is soon to be an empty nester.  However, she is concerned that she will slip into old patterns with her daughter of over giving when it's not even necessarily asked.  Katie feels driven by guilt and old the programming that sounds like I will be a “bad mom” if I don’t chip in and help.

Katie and I spend a lot of time unpacking how she feels in her body when she is triggered at the idea of setting a boundary with her daughter.  Setting boundaries is a lot more than saying NO.  For many of us who grew up with wounding around being seen and valued, we learned to give our power away to being in other people’s good graces.  The  thought that someone was upset with us, literally felt like death.

So while I could give Katie every boundary script to advocate for her needs, the real work here is to get the body on board.  The real work in boundary setting is learning how to focus on boundaries from two perspectives: somatic (or physical, bodily) experiences and verbal (or spoken) boundaries.

When we are dysregulated in our bodies, our boundaries will always be set from that place of scarcity, lack and limitation which is never good for us or for nurturing our relationships.

Consider:

  • Do you feel guilt or shame when asking for what you need?
  • Are you always putting others first?
  • Do you resent other people for crossing invisible lines you’re too scared to communicate?
  • What sort of modeling did you see in regard to boundary setting when you were growing up?
  • Does conflict scare you?
  • Would you rather shove everything under the rug rather than deal with the issues at hand?

Katie’s Question:My daughter is going through a divorce, and needs more financial and time support. And I'm afraid that I'm not going to be able to set clear boundaries with her about how much I can give.

Listen to learn:

  • How to tap into the wisdom of the body
  • What it looks like to create a pause button before you acquiesce or potentially say yes to something that you’re not quite certain about.
  • What it means to set boundaries from an empowered place
  • How to stop avoiding conflict and speak up for yourself in a way that is still compassionate and kind
  • Why conflict is a beautiful thing
  • How you can move forward in your relationships if there has been a rupture

“Boundaries require a level of somatic work.  Because when we know how to regulate ourselves, only then can we actually set a boundary  from our place of truth.” ~Krista Resnick

“Conflict is an opportunity to call us forward and claim what matters to us.” ~Krista Resnick

LINKS:

HEALTHY HOLIDAY BOUNDARIES WORKSHOP

Nov 16, 202257:02
115: Getting your Needs Met this Holiday Season

115: Getting your Needs Met this Holiday Season

How do you feel about the holidays that seem to be approaching so quickly? I spent years like a mixed bag of emotions-excited for the nostalgia and memories to be made-yet immediate exhaustion and angst would quickly approach when I would think about everything that 'needed' to be done.   I said yes to every opportunity-striving and grasping for what I thought would make the holidays perfect.  Yet I left myself and my own personal well being out of the equation.  I was tired from showing up at gathering and parties that I only said yes to out of obligation, I was tired of feeling the pressure to make purchases for people that I barely knew, and I was exhausted from believing that in order to have a successful and magical holiday season everything has to be to the extreme.   


Personal needs was a concept that I was unfamiliar with, yet it is one of the most basic and foundational aspects of our human experience.  And that's what today's episode is all about-needs.   I had needs of connection, to matter, to be seen and belonging-but how I was trying to fill those needs wasn't working.   Now I approach the holidays with a different perspective.  I choose to fill my own cup, ask for the support I need and prioritize what is essential and what might need to take a back seat.   Understanding your needs (especially around the holiday season when stress and overwhelm is high) is an essential understanding to your personal joy.   

Listen to Learn: 

  • Why human needs are universal.   
  • The human needs we all share Personal client stories of 'ditching the idea of the most magical holiday ever" and stepping into more joy and ease.   
  • The connection between feelings and needs 
  • Why needs is a foundation concept to acknowledge in our personal relationships 
  • How to create a bridge between you and your partner.  

"What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart" ~Dr Marshall Rosenberg, Founder of Nonviolent Communication 

"Our feelings and needs guide our behavior." ~Krista Resnick 

"Human needs are universal." ~Krista Resnick 

"Nonviolent communication allow us to connect with our own feelings and needs, and the feelings and needs of others. " ~Krista Resnick 

"The invitation within non-violent communication is first connect with yourself so you understand your own feelings and needs before making requests of another." ~Krista Resnick 

"When we blame, criticize, judge, or demean others, we're actually speaking violently.  We are shutting down the rich connection and nourishment that we crave." ~Krista Resnick 

"When you aren't feeling the way you want to feel, ask yourself-what might be your unmet need?" ~Krista Resnick

 LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE 

Healthy Holidays Workshop 

Episode #106: Dangerous Assumptions with Non-Violent Communication Trainer Kathy Ziola 

Episode # 99: Non-Violent Communication with Marianne van Dijk

Nov 09, 202241:57
114:  Are you always thinking about helping others?

114: Are you always thinking about helping others?

Today I wanted to share with you all an email I received from a follower.   Beth wrote to me because she was so tired, overwhelmed and stressed from trying to hold so much on her plate.  She was struggling because she believed that there was literally no space for her.  However, while this may have felt true, it's often these paradigms that sound like...." I HAVE to give, serve, fix and manage," which are really keeping us stuck in overwhelm and anxiety.  


Beth isn't alone in her question.  So many of us get our roles confused with our true identity.  We believe that we don't have value if we aren't fixing and managing.  We believe we don't matter if we aren't playing the role of good girl, peacekeeper and caretaker.

Let me remind you that YOU are not your ROLE.  Your worth comes from you simply just being YOU.  I want to encourage you to let HER lead.  Who is HER?  Your core essence, your Soul, your highest Self, your favorite Self-whatever you want to call her.  It's that woman that we desire to BE.  However, if we keep believing that we are our role (s), we will never really be able to allow our highest Self to lead.  We will always be victim to the temptations of world and and who it says we need to be.  

Boundary work is self worth worth-it's discovering who you really are in a world that often tells you who it thinks you SHOULD be.   Having CLEAR boundaries and standard protects who we say we are and who we are evolving into.  

Boundary work is some of the most rich and nuanced work we can enter into.  

Listen to this episode to discover:

  • The problem with 'roles'
  • What boundary work really is
  • How we begin to heal from our roles and who we think we need to be.

Before listening consider:

  • Do you believe that it is your job to fix, manage and caretake everyone else?
  • Do you often feel overwhelmed, over-worked and resentful in your relationships?
  • Do you struggle with self worth?

"Learning who we are BEYOND the roles we play is a beautiful and rich part of boundary work." ~Krista Resnick

"God wants us to serve, give and connect with others.  We simply want to be able to draw the line for our own well-being.  We don't want to get swallowed up by the roles we play." ~Krista Resnick

"We are so much more than any role we play." ~Krista Resnick

LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:

Holiday Triggers & Trip Ups

Apply for Stay True to You


Nov 02, 202220:12
113:  Creating a life that nourishes your mind, body and spirit with Ashley Holmes

113: Creating a life that nourishes your mind, body and spirit with Ashley Holmes

You all know I am a huge fan of nourishing yourself, practicing meditation and getting in tune with the body-today’s show is all about these things.

You’re going to love this episode with Ashley  Holmes who is the CEO & Founder of Holistic Fertility Coach Inc. and international bestselling author. We talk about how to slow down, nourish yourself from the inside out and speak your truth.

Ashley’s work focuses on women struggling with infertility by supporting them to conceive with ease using holistic practices. Her customized 1:1 program works with women’s cycles to give them the energy medicine they need to come back into balance and alignment. Living a life that nourishes your mind, body and spirit is at the heart and soul of the transformation you receive.

Ashley is an expert on the platform ViBLY where you can participate in yoga classes, meditations and her coaching program.

In this amazing episode-Ashley shares her personal and painful story of infertility and how her own personal  journey set her on a path of deep self discovery.  She unpacks for us what exactly chakras are and how to heal these beautiful energy centers. Our chakras impact everything in our life from how we feel on a daily basis to major medical issues.

Listen to Learn:

  • How to create a meditation practice that works for you
  • The 7 Chakras
  • How healing and working with your chakras can help you nourish yourself and speak your truth
  • How to know when your chakras are out of balance
  • One great way to nourish your solar plexus chakra-the seat of self love your truth
  • How we can start to work with and heal our throat chakra

Before listening to this episode, consider….

  • Do you struggle to speak your truth?
  • Is nourishing yourself from the inside out a challenge for you?
  • Are you someone who gives your power away easily to those you deem as having more power or knowledge than you?
  • Have you struggled to create a consistent meditation practice, yet still wanting to give it a try?
  • Are you struggling with infertility?
  • Do you silence yourself?  Do you find yourself constantly self-censoring?

“Meditation GIVES me time.  It doesn’t take time.” ~Ashley Holmes

“When I feel better, my energy is better. And when I am in alignment and balance, then everything flows better. Instead of pushing, forcing, and creating restrictions and barriers it's a way to move and work with yourself instead of against yourself.” ~Ashley Holmes

“Taking a conscious breath and bringing yourself into the present moment is not only helpful. But impactful. It's the one biological function that we often are not paying attention to that can impact us in a really profound way.” ~Ashley Holmes

“We need to not be afraid to own our truth and speak our truth.  It matters that we do not hold our words and our power back. Because when we do….we are not honoring ourselves.” ~Ashley Holmes

“Speaking your truth often will not be comfortable.” ~Krista Resnick

“Vulnerability is strength”~ Krista Resnick

“To be seen and heard is what we are all truly seeking.” ~Ashley Holmes


Krista Resnick

Holiday Triggers & Trip ups

Website

Ashley Holmes

Website

Oct 26, 202201:01:38
112: How to set boundaries when friends and family don't like them with Jenel

112: How to set boundaries when friends and family don't like them with Jenel

This episode is about setting boundaries with friends when you are making a choice that they may not agree with.  Today’s caller Jenel grew up in a chaotic environment with a fair share of trauma.  She has such a high tolerance for toxicity and recently found herself in a relationship that carries out the same pattern from her childhood.

It can be difficult to see the level of toxicity in a relationship when we have a high tolerance for abusive and unhealthy behavior.  Jenel learned that her job as a small child was to take responsibility by playing the role of counselor to her parents and trying to keep a level of peace within the home.  It makes sense that she would find herself straight in the eye of a similar relationship now as an adult.  We often seek out relationships in our adult life that feel similar to the unfinished business we had with a parent or parents.  Another way to say that is we seek out what often feels familiar.

Jenel came into this session, not so much concerned with the issues in her relationship, but more concerned with how her friends and family will respond to her trying to make this relationship work.  Sometimes we confuse love with what feels familiar and call it safety.   We can also become easily confused and get caught up in the fantasy of what we want a relationship to look like.  

However, her partner feels truly broken and craves change for HIMSELF-which is a great sign.  However, when there has been a history of trauma, it’s important to move slowly and tread lightly.

Before listening to this episode consider:

  • Do you always try to play the role of peacekeeper?
  • Do you believe it is your job to fix other people’s problems?
  • Do you find that you often walk on eggshells?
  • Are you often the one in your relationships trying to keep the peace?
  • Did you have a tumultuous childhood and are you repeating those patterns in your adult life?
  • Do you crumble and fall apart when it’s time to set a boundary?

Jenel’s Question:

How do I set boundaries with friends and family members around this topic of getting back into a relationship that previously has been unhealthy?

Boundaries will feel like death when your approval and safety has been built upon what other people think of you.  This is why nervous system regulation is essential when it comes to boundary setting.  Most of us know when we need to set a boundary.  However we don’t really know how to DO boundaries.  Nervous system regulation shows your system that you are safe in the present moment-allowing yourself to relax  and connect with your internal truth.

Safety is your system’s top priority, therefore, anything that might threaten your safety (in this case, setting a boundary) is met with fear and activates your nervous system, triggering your self-protective mechanisms (fight/flight/freeze/fawn).

Healing occurs when, in a state of regulation, we connect to our truth and learn to tolerate the discomfort of communicating our truth. The ability to complete on setting a boundary begins to reshape our nervous system to feel more safe the next time we set a boundary.

“When you approve of you-you don’t put so much energy into what others think of you.” ~Krista Resnick

“When you don’t have a caregiver or parent tending to your needs, you will seek outside of yourself to feel worth and enough.” ~Krista

“We seek out that which often feels familiar.” ~Krista Resnick

Krista Resnick-WEBSITE | INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK

Oct 19, 202201:08:26
111:  Boundaries from a Nervous System Perspective with Lisa Dion

111: Boundaries from a Nervous System Perspective with Lisa Dion

Have you known that you needed to set a boundary and just struggled to do it?

Do you sometimes beat yourself up for knowing that you need to say no but you find yourself once again subordinating and appeasing?  

This episode is about understanding boundaries from an internal/nervous system perspective.  

I believe that understanding the nervous system is essential in any sort of healing work.   When you begin to understand the nervous system, suddenly-everyone makes sense.  What's so awesome about that is we can begin to move through the world with more compassion-not only toward ourselves, but also toward others.  

Author, therapist, and podcaster Lisa Dion joins me on the show today to dive into understanding what's happening internally when we are dysregulated.  This is essential to boundary work because if we don't know how to come back home to ourselves -we can't regulate and we can't set a boundary from an empowered place.  The alternative is setting boundaries from a place of control and fear which isn't helpful to deepening our relationships.  

Lisa shares with us powerful yet simple practices to help us come back home to ourselves so we can speak our truth and not get swept away by our emotions.  

Listen to Learn:

  • Why boundaries are not rules
  • What it means to stay connected to yourself
  • Why calm and regulated are not the same things and what regulated actually means
  • The #1 thing that must happen in order to speak your truth
  • Why nervous system work is essential to boundary work
  • What empathy can do for us in boundary setting

"I can either stay connected to me-but that might mean I lose other. Or I can try to stay connected to other, which almost definitely means I'm going to lose me." -Lisa Dion

"My own internal sense of okay-ness is not dependent upon whether or not someone likes me, or doesn't like me. Because in those moments, I'm putting my internal boundary in someone else's hands."-Lisa Dion

"We don't know where the boundary is, unless we can feel where the boundary is. So if we're not in our bodies we aren't able to listen to the body cues and we're going to have a hard time listening to that moment where we are about to disconnect or lose ourselves." -Lisa Dion

"When you are connected to yourself,  you have the opportunity play with and be more fluid with your boundaries." -Krista Resnick

"If we're so used to rigid boundary setting, right or wrong boundary setting, or rule based boundary setting, you don't have to learn anything about your body in that. You just have to follow the script."- Lisa Dion

"Boundary work is self discovery work.  It's doing that deep worth work to really fall in love with ourselves." -Krista Resnick


LINKS

Krista Resnick | WEBSITE | INSTAGRAM |FACEBOOK |  FACEBOOK COMMUNITY

LISA DION | WEBSITE | SYNERGETIC PLAY THERAPY

Oct 12, 202201:00:58
110: Glimmers-How to come back home to yourself

110: Glimmers-How to come back home to yourself

Have you ever wondered why you sometimes react to situations the way that you do?

Do you tend to lash out at those you love?

Do you self-censor and try not to upset the apple cart?

Do you bury yourself in work?

Do you scrolling for hours on facebook and instagram?

Or do you drown your feelings in a gallon of Cherry Garcia ice cream while watching re-runs of Grace and Frankie for an entire weekend?

One of the things that we want to recognize, is that we all have circumstances or relationships in our life that cause us to be triggered.  Triggers cause us to move out of this state of that warm, present cozy, state of connection to ourselves and push us into our safety patterns such as fight, flight and freeze.  

When we are triggered, we are in our survival brain-literally trying to survive whatever is happening outside of ourselves that we deem as potentially dangerous.  Our rational thinking brain is turned 'off line' making it really challenging for us to respond in a way that is connecting and healthy.  Often, we respond by shutting down, walking on egg shells, criticizing, demanding, or simply avoiding.  

Triggers can actually be a beautiful thing-because they show us where some of our deepest work lies.  They can be a pretty awesome invitation to go inward and  heal old wounds, untrue thoughts and unmet needs.  The triggers you experience hold so much incredible feedback. 

They're really your key to understanding your healing.

In this episode I talk about understanding your triggers and your glimmers-those things that bring you back home to yourself.  I share with you plenty of ideas to get you started creating your own glimmer list, but I invite you to create your own so that you can learn exactly what glimmers or resources help you regulate your nervous system and come back home to you.

Before listening consider:

  • Do you snap easily at people?
  • Do you find yourself sometimes questioning why you behave or react in the way that you do?
  • Are you craving healthier more intimate connection with others?
  • Do you often run from one activity to the next?
  • Do you sometimes isolate for days or weeks?
  • Do you sometimes feel resentful in your relationships?

These can all be signs of triggers.  And while triggers are not fun-I can honestly say that they are a gift.  

"Glimmers help you come back home to yourself.  They create a sense of safety and connection to yourself."~Krista Resnick

"When we don't know how to move through conflict, and be in the discomfort of our dysregulation. It's almost impossible to have rich relationship." ~Krista Resnick

"There's a lot of important information in our triggers, I want you to start thinking about triggers being your new invitation to go inward."~ Krista Resnick

"The triggers you experience hold so much  feedback. They're really your key to understanding your healing."~Krista Resnick


LINKS FROM EPISODE

FAWN to FIERCE

Krista Resnick

Oct 05, 202243:14
109: Boundaries in Entrepreneurship with Afton Brazzoni

109: Boundaries in Entrepreneurship with Afton Brazzoni

Afton Brazzoni is the founder of Scribe National, where she and her team have the pleasure of helping billion-dollar companies and solopreneurs alike with their marketing. After 10 years working in marketing and communications roles, Afton launched Scribe National in 2019. Since then, they've helped over 50 clients worldwide unleash their brilliance through the written word.

Afton knows the struggle of boundaries in business.  She  considers herself  to be a  bit of a people pleaser -which is common for many of us-we want to be liked, we don’t necessarily want to upset anyone.  When Afton was building her business, there was a time period where she felt she needed to be  a bit more fluid with her boundaries.  However, she also understood what she was building and that she had no desire to make this a long term situation.  She believes that establishing boundaries with yourself, clients, and team members as well as  setting expectations and communicating those expectations are all essential skills that one must learn to really master entrepreneurship.

Before listening to this episode consider....

  • Do you struggle with boundaries in your life and business?
  • Do you believe that boundaries are selfish, mean and cold-hearted?
  • Do you feel like something is ‘off’ if you don’t feel overwhelmed?
  • Are you constantly filling your calendar space with busyness?
  • Do you want your life to appear outwardly as if you’ve got it all together?

At a certain point Afton said enough is enough!  She recognized that what she needed to do was  actually address boundaries in all areas of her  life. It wasn’t easy-and even a bit messy, but Afton mentioned in the interview how incredibly rewarding it was.

I can attest that there hasn’t been too many things that have pushed my edges out quite like entrepreneurship (well, of course motherhood).  It can be easy to lose yourself in client demands, expectations and wanting to serve with a heart of excellence.  Its easy to sometimes blur boundary lines.

At a certain point Afton said enough is enough!  She recognized that what she needed to do was  actually address boundaries in all areas of her  life. It wasn’t easy-and even a bit messy, but Afton mentioned in the interview how incredibly rewarding it was.

Boundaries are one of the best things we can do to protect our peace, our energy, our lifeforce.  But you have to trust yourself in order to set them-if you’re solid in yourself-your boundaries become clear and honest.

“Setting a boundary feels uncomfortable, but not setting one actually also causes a great deal of discomfort as well” ~  Afton Brazzoni

“I don't believe that anybody is a people pleaser. I believe that there's a part of them that uses people pleasing as a protective strategy to feel approved of, to perhaps have some control so that they in essence, stay safe.” ~Krista Resnick

“Boundary work is worth doing the work.” ~Afton Brazzoni

“When you're doing boundary work what you're really doing is self worth work.  You're cleaning out patterns that look like people pleasing, codependency, subordinating, appeasing and placating So, when you begin healing  those things is when you can start standing in your truth and lead.” ~Krista Resnick

“Appreciate yourself for doing the work.” ~Afton Brazzoni


FAWN TO FIERCE

AFTON BRAZZONI

Sep 28, 202252:55
108:  LIVE COACHING~Living your Truth with Laura

108: LIVE COACHING~Living your Truth with Laura

This live coaching session is about owning and expressing our truth.  Today's caller Laura, has an old childhood pattern coming up of 'going along to get along.'  Laura has a big decision to make and is really fearful of what other's may think of her choice and the potential impact it could have.  As you will hear in this show,  Laura refers to herself as an 'oops baby.'  The youngest of four siblings, Laura was constantly drug to her older sisters event and activities.  By the time Laura came along-her parents were tired.  She believed she was an inconvenience to her family and as a result she felt a lot of shame and as if she was a a burden to others.  

Guilt and shame prevent us from being able to honor our truth, needs and feelings.  We wind up being in-authentic and hiding our truth, which can leave us feeling resentful.   Needs are not a weak thing to have.  But because Laura was so accustomed to playing small and not wanting to be a burden, it almost felt wrong for her to rise up and express what she needed.  Please hear me say...it is OK to choose something that may feel selfish but is self-honoring and in the best interest of those involved.  

When it comes to relationships, it can be hard and messy to not let guilt get involved when it comes to our decision making.  Most of us don't like that thought of hurting those we care about but when we allow guilt and obligation to make our decisions for us-we aren't making choices that in the highest good of everyone involved. 

Our needs extend much beyond things like survival.  We need human connection, adventure, play just to name a few.  It doesn't make you weak to have these needs.  It makes you human.  Part of Laura's work will be to acknowledge and express her needs.  It doesn't make her wrong-it doesn't even mean that the other person will agree to her needs, but owning and acknowledging what it is that we need is our truth.  And our truth cannot be denied.  

Consider:

  • Do you struggle to know what you want and need?
  • Is asking for help a challenge for you?
  • Do you dim your light or play small to make it more convenient for others.
  • Does your mind spin out in what if’s?
  • Do you overtake responsibility for other people and their happiness?
  • Do you treat people like they are fragile?
  • Where are you going along to get along?

Laura's question : 

Laura is faced with a decision to relocate but at the cost of not being near her mother which she has spent the past two years building a beautiful and healthy relationship with.  She feels selfish for wanting this, she feels guilty for taking her son far from her mother.

Laura's a-ha's:

  • Being authentically who I am is not doing anything wrong
  • The difference between a healthy responsibility VS and OVER-TAKING of responsibility.
  • When my mind spins out in what if's answer them
  • It's not her responsibility to manage other people's feelings.  

Where in your life are you not expressing yourself?  Where do you feel selfish for simply having a human need?  Look at where certain needs in your life aren't being met and make yourself accountable for having a clarifying conversation

LINKS FROM EPISODE:

From Fawn to Fierce



Sep 21, 202201:09:08
107: The Sacred Work of Boundaries ( & saying YES to YOU)!

107: The Sacred Work of Boundaries ( & saying YES to YOU)!

This time of year always brings up such conflicting feelings for me. There is the part of me that much like the leaves dying and falling from the trees, longs to surrender and let go of old patterns, behaviors and habits that are no longer serving me.

And then, there are the parts of me that want to dive into the harvest and move quickly.  To say YES to opportunities and experiences, and give and serve.  

What I have learned about boundary work is that it is deeply sacred.  It is the art of learning how to truly say YES to yourself.  Many of us were raised believing that boundaries and saying yes to yourself was selfish.  I'm here to say that it's not.  While I know this can rattle a lot of feathers and kick up a lot of dust, it is truth that you were made to claim the life that God has for you and it begins by paying attention to the parts of yourself that are worn out, exhausted, overwhelmed and resentful.  

Fall is a perfect reminder that it is good and healthy to let go of meeting the constant demands and requests of others and slowly and gently begin to place the focus on ourselves and our needs, dreams, desires and wishes.  Yes we were made to be in community and connection with others, which does present the confusion around how do I know when I've gone too far?  But it is when we start asking that very question-how do I know that i've gone too far, that we've probably gone too far.  Shame is often what drives us to put our feet on the gas pedal and keep going, placate, subordinate and people please.  

But before the world dumped it's shame on you-God said you were good.  He said you were designed in HIS image.  You are not broken, you are HIS and HE SAYS you are GOOD.  You are worth your best yes!  

Listen to Learn:

  • Why boundary work is sacred work
  • Why saying NO isn't always the way to set boundaries
  • Some powerful questions you can ask yourself to get clarity in this season of life. 
  • One of the beliefs that holds so many women back from saying YES to themselves and setting healthy boundaries.

"Saying yes to yourself is just as important to saying yes to everyone around you." ~Krista Resnick

"Saying yes to your own needs, desires, and ambitions is not selfish." ~Krista Resnick

"Boundary work is sacred work because we are saying yes to the deep desires of our heart."  ~Krista Resnick

"Saying yes to yourself is about staying connected to yourself." ~Krista Resnick

"Boundary work is not always about saying NO.  Often it is about what we are saying YES to.  It's about getting clear on saying yes to our values, our truth and our needs." ~Krista Resnick

LINKS FROM THE EPISODE

Free to Be Workshop

Krista Resnick-Website

Sep 14, 202232:46
106 Dangerous Assumptions with Kathy Ziola

106 Dangerous Assumptions with Kathy Ziola

Have you even been involved in a conversation where you walked away feeling more disconnected than when you started?

Have you been a part of a conversation where you felt as if your needs and feelings didn't matter?

If so, there is hope.  Non-violent communication takes all the mystery out of HOW to have difficult conversations and gives you some tangible tools to put to use.  Non-violent communication allows us to determine what is going on within us and what might be alive in another person so we can determine how can we share that in a way that we want to give and receive from one another.

Today's guest, Kathy Ziola has presented training events and retreats in Nonviolent Communication (NVC), relationships, healing, personal growth, and stress management over the past forty years. She has been teaching NVC since 2005, certified in 2009. 

Kathy introduces us to something called Dangerous Assumptions which are thoughts and interpretations that we think are true.  When we are so convinced we are right-it gives no choice but to assume the other person is 'wrong.'  This type of thinking and communicating only sets us up for failure.  It disconnects us from others

Listen to Learn:

  • What assumptions are and WHY they are dangerous to our relationships.
  • How we set ourselves up for conflict without even realizing it.
  • The Four Key Assumptions that keep us trapped in conflict and disconnection
  • How to communicate with truth and honestly, while still hearing the other person and acknowledging their needs simultaneously.  
  • How we shift these assumptions to communicate in a way that is clear and honest. 


I am so passionate about healthy communication.  When we can understand that we all have universal needs and that at the crux-everyone is simply trying to get their needs met, it opens us up to a compassion and gentleness that sometimes can be hard to reach, because of all our assumptions.

You will love this episode as Kathy's passion to support others in creating relationships and systems that thrive through living with compassion, empathy, honesty and authentic presence is so prevalent.  


“I like to think of  NVC is a tool that helps us create safety in our relationships.“ ~Krista Resnick

“In NVC, we can express and share our deep needs and do that in ways that will pull out from other people their natural desire to give.” ~Kathy Ziola

“Assumptions are thoughts and interpretations that we think are true.“~ Kathy Ziola

“The dangerous thing about assumptions is that we believe they are truth…” ~Kathy Ziola

“When we make assumptions, we are asking for problems.”~ Kathy Ziola

"What does it mean about me if I wasn’t right?  What would it mean about me if I were?  What am I actually attached to here?" ~ Kathy Ziola

“When you aren’t living your truth, being authentic-your relationship can only go so deep.” ~ Krista Resnick

“Needs are qualities of life that feed us-they are universal.  Needs are what motivate people.” ~Kathy Ziola


Krista Resnick-Website

Free to Be Workshop

Kathy Ziola-Website

Sep 07, 202201:13:58
105: The Fawn Response-The Real Reason Behind People Pleasing Behavior

105: The Fawn Response-The Real Reason Behind People Pleasing Behavior

When there is any level of conflict in your relationships, what is your reaction?  Do you try to quickly make the situation okay, do you please others by placating and stepping over your own boundary lines?  Do you find that you walk on egg shells in certain relationships?  Do you have a hard time knowing and expressing what you need?

When I first started doing this work,  I noticed that I could have every boundary script ready to go, but still fail to set the boundary.  I began to piece together that certain people triggered me in a way  where I suddenly found myself trading in what I stood for because I was scared to share my truth.   I self censored when I wanted to express myself and even though I was practicing  my affirmations, I continued to give my power away to those that I thought were more experienced and smarter than me.  I came to the conclusion that boundaries were much more nuanced and complicated than saying no.  

Conceptually, I understood boundaries, but I knew there was a missing piece. 

What I discovered through my own personal  journey, research and work is that healing people pleasing and codependency are a lot deeper and more complex than “just say no and set a boundary.”  You might be familiar with flight, fight and freeze trauma responses, but there is an additional trauma response that doesn’t get as much publicity.  That response is called FAWN and it’s often the root of what people pleasing and codependency are  all about.  

And  believe that if you really want to heal your boundaries,  we have to go to the root.  

LISTEN TO LEARN

  • What the fawning pattern is
  • Why the fawning pattern is KEY to healing boundaries
  • Symptoms of the fawning pattern
  • How the fawning pattern might be showing up in your life
  • Tools to help you stop fawning and start living FREE

Understanding this stress response, changed my life.  Once I figured out that I was having a stress response, I could start showing compassion for myself and begin to do the deeper work of healing this pattern.  

"When conflict arose, I went into my people pleasing strategy.  I acquiesced, I traded in my values for the sake of someone else’s and I often tripped over my own personal boundary for the sake of another’s approval."~Krista Resnick

"If you  want to heal your boundaries,  you have to go to the root."~Krista Resnick

"People pleasers and codependents despise conflict." ~ Krista Resnick

"Fawning strategies at the root, are nervous attempts to deflect attention." ~Krista Resnick

LINKS

Free to BE Workshop

Krista Resnick-Website

Instagram

Facebook

Facebook Community


Aug 31, 202239:08
104: Summer Series-Walking through Anger with Dr. Christian Conte

104: Summer Series-Walking through Anger with Dr. Christian Conte

I love all things emotions but it wasn't always that way.  I used to be so cut off from feeling my feelings and anger was especially hard for me access.  I deemed it wrong, hurtful, extreme and ugly.  Today, I love anger because I understand that this powerful emotion is simply feedback.  It is information that I can use and work through to process pain, shame, or a boundary violation.  

Emotions can feel so uncomfortable because of how they modeled for us or because we simply don't know how to sit with the discomfort of our emotions. These simply aren't things we are taught as children.  Our guest today, Dr. Christian Conte, is one of the world's leading experts on emotions and anger management.  Dr. Conte has worked with some of the world's most violent criminals, MMA fighters as well as top athletes and some of the toughest people in maximum security prisons to help them integrate  their emotions, specifically their anger.  

In this episode Dr. Conte walks us through a bit of his work called "Yield Theory" and helps us learn how to manage our emotions (as well as explaining what it even means to manage your emotions).  


LISTEN TO LEARN:

  • The skill one must master in order to really build amazing relationships with others.
  • How to begin moving away from judgment and become more accepting of others.
  • How to manage your emotions.  
  • The number one tool you can use today to start de-escalating YOURSELf and others.
  • The two key pieces you need to implement when it comes to listening
  • What empathy actually is and why it matters so much in our relationships.
  • How to begin feeling our anger if we are terrified of it.
  • What to do if you are really stuck in an emotion.


Anger can be healthy or unhealthy.  We all feel it, we all experience it.  But one thing is certain-we cannot simply allow it to run rampant in our lives and it is dangerous to suppress it on the other extreme.  So how do we work with our anger?  Listen to this episode with Dr. Conte to find out.


“There are two kinds of people in the world.  People with issues and dead people.” Dr. Christian Conte

“I saw a need for people to master their emotions.”  Dr. Christian Conte

“Knowing a concept doesn’t mean you're working on a concept.”  Dr. Christian Conte

“People see your actions, NOT your intentions.” Christian Conte

“We minimize the pain we cause others and we amplify the pain they cause us.”  Dr. Christian Conte

“Be accurate in your language.” Dr. Christian Conte

At some point you have to sit in the discomfort and understand that others are stuck in their own stuff and it doesn’t have to mean anything about you. “ Krista Resnick


LINKS & RESOURCES

Dr. Christian Conte - YOUTUBE | WEBSITE | FACEBOOK | BOOK 

Krista Resnick -WEBSITE | INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK | FACEBOOK COMMUNITY

Aug 24, 202201:09:57
103: Exploring Emotional Addiction (and 6 ways to begin healing from it)

103: Exploring Emotional Addiction (and 6 ways to begin healing from it)

Have you ever wondered, why do I feel the way I do?  Why am I always so tired, so angry, so resentful?  Why do I feel guilty about everything?  Why can’t I just be more confident and have better self-esteem?  Why are my relationships so toxic?  Why do I struggle to get anything done?  Why do I never just feel good enough?

Codependency is based in and LOVES fear.   Along with that fear comes a lack of self love.  The feelings that come along with codependency can become addictive-YES we actually can become addicted to feeling the constant states of overwhelm, resentment, anxiety and lack.  Our cells literally get used to feeling this lack of self love.

When we feel this emotion, there’s a cellular change in the body. Neurotransmitters are released and the physiology of the body shifts. As our physiology shifts, the neural pathways in the brain fire and wire in response.  Feeling and reacting habitually strengthens neural pathways which will make us subconsciously seek the same emotion. So our body becomes dependent on our own chemical responses.  Yes even if the emotion makes us miserable, the rush of neurotransmitters are a reward.


In this episode I dive deep into bridging the gap between codependency and emotional addiction and provide 6 ways to help you feel from the same old miserable emotions that keep you stuck with the same old results.  


Listen to Learn:

  • What codependency is
  • The connection between codependency and emotional addiction
  • What emotional addiction actually is
  • Why you might be engaging in the same patterns and habits that get you the same results
  • Why you feel stuck
  • How codependent patterns and behaviors can look like in our life
  • 6 tools to help you overcome emotional addiction

"Few people understand the chemical cocktail of human emotion." ~Krista Resnick

Codependency loves fear and when we get scared, the rational thinking part of the brain, becomes overwhelmed and shuts down." ~Krista Resnick

"Codependency is this form of addiction because your cells literally get used to feeling a lack of self love." ~Krista Resnick  

"With emotional addiction we are living and breathing the emotional experience so closely it literally is beyond our scope of awareness-we don't even recognize we are addicted." ~Krista Resnick

"In order to break emotional addiction you have to become conscious to your own patterns-patterns that look like perfectionism, people pleasing, self censoring, overthinking and overworking." ~Krista Resnick

LINKS

Krista Resnick -WEBSITE- INSTAGRAM -FACEBOOK- FACEBOOK COMMUNITY-

3 WAYS TO CULTIVATE SELF-TRUST EPISODE


Aug 17, 202201:02:57
102:  How to Cultivate Self Trust

102: How to Cultivate Self Trust

Do you struggle to make a decision?  Are you terrified that you are going to choose the wrong thing or upset someone if they don't agree with your choice?

Do you live life by an opinion poll, always collecting and taking note of what other people need and want?

Oh man do I know this pattern WELL.  One of the ways codependency manifested for me was my inability to trust myself.  As annoying as it was, for me and for everyone around me, I couldn’t seem to stand firm in my decisions.  I longed to be more confident and stand firm in my decisions, but couldn’t understand why it was so hard for me.

Does that resonate with you too?

If so, this episode provides you with  3 ways to begin to trust yourself.  

Listen to Learn:

  • Where codependency begins
  • Why making decisions might be so hard for you
  • Why codependency isn't your fault
  • How to reparent yourself and what reparenting actually is
  • How to show yourself a bit of self love on the daily
  • How to get to know yourself

"One of the best ways to begin to build self trust and heal from codependency is to begin feeling your feelings once again."~Krista Resnick

"When you’re reliant on other people’s opinions and guidance, you’re much like a feather in the wind-susceptible to any small or big gust that comes along.  You aren’t in control of your life and you give others way too much power over how you feel." ~Krista Resnick

"Feelings and emotions were not welcome in my world, so my only way through was to disconnect from feeling at all." ~Krista Resnick

"If you experienced any amount of neglect, or had emotionally unavailable parents you may have learned to suppress your feelings in order to survive." ~Krista Resnick


LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE

Coming Home to You Workshop

Krista Resnick-WEBSITE | INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK 

FACING CODEPENDENCE by Pia Mellody



Aug 10, 202240:07
101: REAL Self Love with Dr. Andrea Pennington

101: REAL Self Love with Dr. Andrea Pennington

If you struggle with perfectionism, striving, hustle and believing that if you just achieved X,Y or Z then you would feel happy, this is ONE EPISODE YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS!

Today's guest, Dr. Andrea Pennington has been a sought-after media personality for over twenty years, She has shared her empowering wellness advice on the Oprah Winfrey Show,  the Dr. Oz Show, CNN, the Today Show, and as a news anchor for Discovery Health Channel. She is also a featured teacher on the Insight Timer app.

Dr. Andrea is also leader of The #RealSelfLove Movement, a comprehensive online community offering free resources designed to empower you to heal the inner child, reprogram your subconscious mind, transform from victim to hero and rewrite your life story.

Dr. Andrea brings her unique nerdy blend of medical science, positive psychology and mindfulness meditation to empower you to show up authentically, love passionately and live orgasmically. She facilitates a variety of workshops around the world which promote holistic healing, resilience, trauma recovery and self-love using trauma-informed positive psychology.

In this episode we go deep into Dr. Andrea's 5 step REAL selflove process and she shares candidly about her own healing journey and what she had to go through in order to start loving the woman in the mirror.  

This work can often feel heavy, as so much of it is about grieving the childhood's many of us never got to have.  Our parents are not perfect. They often wound us.  And that can be a hard notion to accept because what happens when we are faced with that truth?  Dr. Andrea shares with us some insightful tips to navigate the grief that often arises as a result of our relationship with our parents.  

Listen to Learn:

  • The definition of REAL self love
  • Some of the best boundaries you can set for yourself while working on your self love
  • The five steps to REAL self love
  • The difference between spiritual bypassing (toxic positivity) and allowing ourselves to ride the wave of a feeling
  • How to not get swept away by your emotions

AND SO MUCH MORE.....

“Lack of self love is what drove my perfectionism and compulsive need to prove myself.” ~Andrea Pennington

“Even when I had the big successful career, the car, the expense account and the fame, I was still feeling inadequate.” ~Andrea Pennington

“I had a fundamental belief that I am not worthy of love or attention unless I’m doing, performing or achieving.” ~Andrea Pennington

LINKS:

COMING HOME TO YOU WORKSHOP

Dr. Andrea Pennington-WEBSITE

Real Self Love

How to escape victim mentality

Instagram

3 Keys to Become the Hero in Your Life

Guided Meditation Series

Aug 03, 202201:09:32
100: Summer Series-Codependency & Anger with Michelle Farris

100: Summer Series-Codependency & Anger with Michelle Farris

Does this sound familiar?

  • Your relationships are not where you want them to be? 
  • You're saying yes a lot to things you don’t really want to do?
  • You feel resentful a lot of the time
  • You find yourself irritated, frustrated and impatient often?

There could be a chance that you have suppressed your anger and it's leaking out which slowly erodes our happiness our authentic expression and our joy.  

On the show today, I have anger management specialist and psychotherapist Michelle Farris explaining the connection between codependency and anger.

Michelle was a former pro at stuffing her anger.  Through examining her own relationships, she noticed that she wasn't being fully honest-she was stuffing her truth and not sharing the things that hurt her.  She became aware that  eventually old resentments and hurts would leak out  only causing more damage to the relationship.  

Now Michelle helps others to move through anger and heal codependency so they can create healthy relationships without sacrificing their big hearts.

Listen to Learn:

  • What codependency looks like
  • How we identify who is a safe person for us to express and have honest relationships with
  • How we build the internal alarm bells that this might not be a safe person.
  • How codependency begins
  • Why anger is deemed as such a taboo, negative emotion
  • What happens if we don’t deal with our anger
  • Tips for beginning to access and release our anger


“When you grow up with someone who rages, you typically don’t see anger as healthy-you see it as full blown rage.”~Michelle Farris

“Stuffing was making me dishonest in my relationships.”~Michelle Farris

“Boundaries are about being honest.” ~Krista Resnick

“Boundaries are what I choose to participate in and when I choose to leave.” ~Michelle Farris

If I don’t claim the part of me that is codependent I miss the whole side of me that needs healing.” ~Michelle Farris

"Lack of self trust is a major component of codependency-it’s what sets us up to see other people as our answer.”  ~ Michelle Farris

“Just because something’s normal, doesn’t mean it’s healthy.” ~Krista Resnick

LINKS: 

Krista Resnick 

Website 

INSTAGRAM

COMING HOME TO YOU WORKSHOP

Michelle Farris

Website | Instagram | YouTube | Linkedin

Calming Your Anger Zoom Class

5 Day Email Course on Anger


Jul 27, 202256:10
99: Non-Violent Communication with Marianne van Dijk

99: Non-Violent Communication with Marianne van Dijk

Do you struggle to communicate with others in a way that you feel seen and heard?  Or perhaps you find that you get stuck in conflict, often going round and round the same issue time and time again.  Maybe you even put off having conversations that you know need to be had in order to keep the peace and eliminate tension.

Today's episode is dedicated to learning how to speak in a way that is more connective, compassionate and honest (while still getting your needs met).  

Communication is hard-most of us were not taught how to properly taught to resolve conflict, share our feelings and ask for what we need.  Conversely, what comes natural to most of us is criticism, defensiveness, judgment and demands.  This sets us up for a major communication fail and lots of hurt, arguing and frustration.

Today's guest, Marianne van Dijk is a nonviolent communication trainer and a conflict mediator. Through her work, Marianne guides people to be more true to themselves and work through potential conflict arising from that. 

Marianne shares her story of burnout, unhappiness and the inability to stand up for herself.  When she was introduced to NVC, it changed her life.  NVC was the missing link to help her express herself in a way that helps her get her needs met WHILE connecting with the other person.

Maybe you too have read all the communication and confidence books but you still don’t know how to DO boundaries. NVC is a beautiful tool that helps us DO differently.

Listen to learn:

  • What causes so much disconnection and conflict in relationships.
  • The gamechanger to being able to effectively communicate and connect with someone.
  • The ways in which we speak that are extraordinarily violent
  • The four exact steps of NVC
  • A demonstration using my own personal example of how NVC works

“Our need for choice is everything.”  Marianne Van Dijk

“Before nonviolent communication, I had no idea what was going on with me.  I carried so many have to’s which was so draining to my energy.“ Marianne van Dijk

“When you approach conflict with connection in mind, that’s the game changer.”  Krista Resnick

“Violent communication is all the ways we speak that are disconnecting.  It’s the should’s, the have to's, the comparison’s, the analyzing.” Marianne van Dijk

Links from episode:

KRISTA RESNICK WEBSITE

COMING HOME TO YOU WORKSHOP

MARIANNE van DIJK

NON-VIOLENT COMMUNICATION BOOK

Jul 20, 202201:16:58
98: People pleasing & kind are not the same

98: People pleasing & kind are not the same

I believe that everyone has an inner leader-that place within that is connected, curious, confident, creative and wise.  However, when we are blocked by old stories and childhood conditioning we stop ourselves from standing at the helm of our leadership and allowing our inner leader to LEAD.  One of the common ways we block ourselves from activating our inner leader is people pleasing.

What I have found however, is that many people don’t always understand what people pleasing is.  Yes we want to be kind.  Yes we want to support others, but people pleasing and kind simply are not the same.

People pleasing is one of the key traits of the survival response, fawning.  In a nutshell, “fawning” is the use of people-pleasing to diffuse conflict, feel more secure in relationships, and earn the approval of others.

And when we live our life focused on and dancing to appease OTHERS, we lose ourselves.

In this episode, I  unpack what some of the fawning traits are as well as ‘types’ of fawners so you might be able to recognize it in yourself.

If you find yourself fawning, don't worry and please don't beat yourself up. You are not alone and this is a common response to complex trauma. You didn't do anything wrong, you're not bad or silly or dumb for developing this response.

You started fawning as a way to cope with a very unstable situation. You did what you needed to do to cope. And now that you know what you're doing, you can start making choices that will help you feel better.

Boundaries are a beautiful way to begin healing from the fawn response-I would love for you to join me at The BUILD BETTER BOUNDARIES workshop happening July 18th

LINKS FROM EPISODE

BUILD BETTER BOUNDARIES

EPISODE 62: Let's talk about trauma

EPISODE 63: What trauma actually is

INSTAGRAM

FACEBOOK

JOIN THE EMPOWERED BOUNDARIES FACEBOOK COMMUNITY

Jul 13, 202243:30
97.  Narcissism, Codependency & Self Love Deficit Disorder with Ross Rosenberg

97. Narcissism, Codependency & Self Love Deficit Disorder with Ross Rosenberg

Today on the show, Ross Rosenberg joins us to talk about narcissism and codependence. The concepts are tied so deeply together and in this episode you will begin to understand why.  Ross spends much of his work helping others understand the term codependency at much deeper level by sharing his concept of what he has coined “self-love deficit disorder.” 

Ross explains the “dance” of codependency and narcissism, exploring how codependency often forms from narcissistic abuse in childhood and why codependents and narcissists are like magnets for each other. We tend to be attracted to what feels familiar to us, which is why codependents often experience such an intense chemistry with a narcissistic partner.  Eventually however, the codependents awakes from their slumber and discovers that his or her “soulmate” has become their “cellmate.” 

It’s not until we learn to fill our own self-love tanks (as I like to say),  that we can break the cycle of abuse and start forming relationships with partners who love and respect our whole selves.

Ross Rosenberg is the CEO and primary contributor of Self-Love Recovery Institute. He's an expert psychotherapist, educator, best-selling author, and expert witness. In addition, he's a global thought leader and renowned expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, and addictions. His pioneering codependency, narcissistic abuse, and trauma contributions are responsible for much-needed theoretical and treatment-specific updates. Exemplifying his global impact are his 22 million video views/240K subscriber YouTube channel and his 150 copies sold/12 languages Human Magnet Syndrome book.

Listen to discover:

  • Why narcissism and codependency go hand in hand
  • Attachment wounds and the origins of codependency
  • What codependency actually is
  • Setting boundaries with a narcissist (and why it often doesn’t work)


“Codependency is a unequal distribution of LOVE, CARE and RESPECT”-Ross Rosenberg

“All codependents has a severe deficit of self love.”-Ross Rosenberg

“Codependents always fall in love with narcissists because of chemistry.” -Ross Rosenberg


LINKS FROM THE SHOW:

BUILD BETTER BOUNDARIES

KRISTA RESNICK

INSTAGRAM

EMPOWERED BOUNDARIES FACEBOOK COMMUNITY

FACEBOOK

ROSS ROSENBERG

ROSS ROSENBERG YOU TUBE

THE HUMAN MAGNET SYNDROME BOOK

Jul 06, 202201:07:07
96. Boundaries Meditation
Jun 29, 202217:09
95: Summer Series-Befriending your Anger with Anchen Texter

95: Summer Series-Befriending your Anger with Anchen Texter

We have been conditioned to believe that anger is a negative emotion-especially for us women who have learned to be 'nice." 

However, in today's episode, I want to help you understand that anger is a survival mechanism, rooted in passion. If you have a strong desire needing to be expressed that is thwarted, you will have anger.  Just think about the messaging we receive as children around our emotions:

Don’t cry.

Don’t be scared.

Don’t be angry-it doesn’t look good on you.

Smile, it makes you look better…

But anger is about understanding what is important to you.  It's about identifying what your values are  What you stand up for.  What the essential aspects of your life are that you hold dear to your heart.

My guest today Anchen Texter is a licensed Dynamic Emotional Integration® Trainer and Consultant and instructor at Empathy Academy. She specializes in teaching about anger and boundaries, emotion-regulation, and self-care and preventing empathic burnout. She's the author of five courses; Befriending Anger, Befriending Sadness, Befriending Shame, and Befriending Fear, and the workshop Awakening to Your Emotions.

Anchen teaches us in this episode that emotions are at the core of who we are and how we operate. She explains that when you know what you're feeling, then you have a whole lot more power in your life to decide how to act, what kind of relationships you want to have, where you want to spend your time, and the kind of memories you will create. Emotions literally affect everything. When you can listen to what your emotions are telling you, then you are making your emotions into your allies.

"Emotions have important messages for you.   You can trust them."~Anchen Texter

"Everyday is a huge options of choices, and all of those choices are based on your values.  When you know your values and what matters to you, life becomes a lot easier." ~Anchen Texter

"Your emotions are there to support you in being who you are." ~Anchen Texter

"Conflict is feedback and it can be a beautiful gift to bring us closer together."~Krista Resnick

"Boundaries are about going within, feeling your way through it and trusting yourself." ~Krista Resnick

LINKS: 

BUILD BETTER BOUNDARIES

INSTAGRAM

FACEBOOK 

EMPOWERED BOUNDARIES FACEBOOK COMMUNITY

EMOTIONAL ALLIANCE

EMPATHY ACADEMY

YOU TUBE CHANNEL

THE LANGUAGE OF EMOTIONS BOOK

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

THE DANCE OF ANGER


Jun 22, 202201:07:47
94. Boundary Q& A-How do I 'appropriately' communicate my boundary?
Jun 15, 202224:12
93. Self Love Meditation
Jun 08, 202220:56
92. Codependency, Shame & Narcissism with Darlene Lancer

92. Codependency, Shame & Narcissism with Darlene Lancer

Codependency is one of my favorite topics   I know firsthand what it’s like to live on the other side of the street and lose all sense of myself.  I think so many people suffer from codependency and aren’t even aware.  That is why I am committed to talking about it and sharing information about it on this podcast.

Setting boundaries for a codependent person is a terrifying thing-almost impossible because a person who has codependent tendencies puts their value and wholeness in the hands of others.  Therefore, boundaries = major risk!!!

My guest today, Darlene Lancer, is a licensed marriage and family therapist, author and expert on codependency and relationships. She has worked with couples and individuals for 30 years, and she shares SO much valuable information in today’s show about what codependency looks like, how to begin recovery, the connection between shame and codependency, the connection between codependency and narcissism and practical steps to becoming a healthy, whole you.

Listen to Discover

  • Definition of Codependency
  • The 5 Core Symptoms of Codependency
  • How we become codependent
  • Why codependents struggle with authenticity and vulnerability
  • The 4 steps we can take toward codependency recovery

“Codependency is a person who’s thinking and behavior revolves around something or something else rather than coming from their innate self. Your thinking and behavior revolves around something outside of you.”  -Darlene Lancer

“The more we look outside of ourselves for our worth, the emptier and emptier we become inside.”   In the later stages of codependency we can turn into an empty shell of ourselves.” -Darlene Lancer

“Codependents lose themselves in relationship.” -Darlene Lancer

“Parents are to mirror back to us our worth and enough-ness and when that doesn’t happen there’s a rift in the development of who we are.” -Krista Resnick

“Shame is a core sentiment of codependency.”- Darlene Lancer

“It’s not enough to say I love you….it’s about valuing you for WHO you are…your authentic self.”  -Darlene Lancer


LINKS FROM THE EPISODE:

Darlene Lancer Website

Krista Resnick

Instagram

Facebook

Empowered Boundaries Facebook Community

Jun 01, 202201:13:12
91. Do you abandon yourself?

91. Do you abandon yourself?

Do you have a hard time trusting yourself? Do you hide parts of yourself – your feelings, beliefs, and ideas – in order to fit in or please others? Do you diminish or discount your feelings because you think they don’t matter?

Friends this is self-abandonment.

We abandon ourselves when we don’t value ourselves, when we don’t act in our own best interest, and when we don’t encourage and comfort ourselves.  At the root is a lack of self love.  And when we lack self love, we often use coping strategies like codependency, people pleasing, numbing, avoiding and distracting to over compensate.  

Self-abandonment begins in childhood. It’s likely that your parents or other influential adults didn’t meet your emotional and/or physical needs in childhood – they abandoned you emotionally or physically — causing you to feel unworthy and unlovable.

As adults, we tend to repeat these types of patterns from childhood because they’re familiar; we repeatedly choose partners and friends who mistreat, take advantage of, or don’t support us. And we do the same to ourselves. We don’t know how to be there for ourselves because no one was truly there for us as children.

The good news is that we can heal.  We can take responsibility for our growth and our lives and start building self-esteem and confidence to create whatever it is that we want.

Listen to discover:

  • What self abandonment is
  • Why we self abandon
  • 4 ways to stop self abandoning
  • The powerhouse of tools that many of us missing when it comes to personal growth
  • Powerful journaling questions you can ask yourself to break the pattern of self abandonment

"Self-abandonment is a learned behavior, a way you tried to cope with unhealthy or dysfunctional family dynamics." ~Krista Resnick

"When you live in an unpredictable, chaotic, or abusive family, you learn to hide your true self. You act like a chameleon, morphing into whatever role will keep the peace and help you avoid ridicule, put-downs, physical and emotional pain." ~ Krista Resnick

"Abandoning yourself may have been a necessity during childhood, but it isn’t helpful anymore." ~Krista Resnick

"Everyone has feelings and needs. You may not have been allowed to express them as a child (or even in some of your adult relationships), but you can now be a safe haven for your own feelings and needs." ~Krista Resnick

"If you listen, your feelings will tell you what you need and when you meet your needs, you’ll be happier and healthier." ~Krista Resnick


LINKS & RESOURCES:

COMING HOME TO YOU WORKSHOP

INSTAGRAM

FACEBOOK 

EMPOWERED BOUNDARIES FACEBOOK COMMUNITY

COMPASSIONATE BOUNDARIES MEDITATION & JOURNAL PROMPTS

May 25, 202250:53
90.  Understanding Attachment Trauma

90. Understanding Attachment Trauma

What is attachment trauma and how does it correlate with boundaries?

Attachment trauma is “a consistent disruption of physical and emotional safety" in the family system. 

Our nervous system's are constantly learning how to be in connection with people. And the biggest question we are often asking internally and subconsciously is -"is it safe to be in connection or not?"  ARE YOU A SAFE PERSON?  

When an infant experiences consistent care where his/her needs are met, he/she internalizes three things:

  • I am safe
  • I am heard
  • I am valuable

If we don't experience these things are children, it builds the relationship template that we carry through our adult lives into our adult relationships.  

When a child understands that they are safe, heard and valuable he or she can then develop other healthy relationships. Without this as a secure foundation, as adults we try to get the unmet needs of our inner child met which is what create so much chaos in our adult lives.  


Listen to discover:

  • What exactly is attachment trauma?
  • The difference between overt and covert causes of trauma
  • Why understanding your childhood is so important when it comes to patterns in adult relationships.
  • The four attachment styles you need to know about
  • How attachment trauma is directly link to creating SLDD or Codependency


"The initial relationship between self and others serves as a blueprint for all future relationships.”-Krista Resnick

"Our nervous system is constantly learning how to be in connection with people. And the biggest thing around that is, is the question...is it safe to be in connection or not? There’s all these overt ways that it can feel not safe, but also really covert ways that it can start feeling unsafe and shutting us down or revving us up." -Krista Resnick

"The unmet needs of our inner child are what create chaos in our adult life." -Krista Resnick


LINKS & RESOURCES

COMING HOME TO YOU WORKSHOP

Krista Resnick-Instagram

Empowered Boundaries Facebook Community

Facebook

Website

Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin

May 18, 202238:57
 89: Redefining Codependency

89: Redefining Codependency

When you hear the word codependent what comes up for you?  Do you feel contempt or shame?  Does the term make you curious?  Have you heard it before but not really sure what it is.

In this episode I unpack with you what codependency actually is-not necessarily what the symptoms are but the core root of codependency.  I believe that this is incredibly important and often overlooked because we cannot treat it and step into recovery unless we really get at the root of what's causing it and solve it there.  

Listen to discover:

Why codependency” is an outdated term.

Why so many codependents find themselves chronically in unhealthy, unbalanced relationships.

What codependency REALLY is

What causes codependency.

The one emotion that people with codependent tendencies are terrified to feel.

The 8 characteristics that make up our Self energy-the traits that we were born with.

A couple of tips to begin recovery from codependency

This is such a great episode to help you really understand all things codependency  because again, we cannot treat it, if we don't really understand the root cause.  


"God created us in HIS image.  He is GOOD.  Therefore WE are GOOD."  ~Krista Resnick

"Our childhood attachment trauma causes us core shame and core shame is a belief that you are fundamentally bad or flawed."~Krista Resnick

"Each of us has a relationship template from childhood.   It is this template that then sets us up for our adult relationships."  ~Krista Resnick

"Loving someone while remaining invisible in the relationship creates pathological loneliness." ~Krista Resnick

"Codependents behave with OTHERS in mind and  habitually controls others into loving them." ~Krista Resnick

"We have to go back and do the work around our childhood wounds-our trauma’s.  We have to allow ourselves to grieve the parents that maybe we never had."~Krista Resnick

"The unmet needs of your inner child are what create chaos in your adult life." ~Krista Resnick


LINKS & RESOURCES

BUILD BETTER BOUNDARIES

INSTAGRAM

FACEBOOK

EMPOWERED FACEBOOK COMMUNITY

THE HUMAN MAGNET BOOK

May 11, 202248:41
88.  Restoring Relationship with Molly Lacroix

88. Restoring Relationship with Molly Lacroix

If you've been around Becoming Boundaried for a minute you know that I am crazy about relationship.  Both relationship with SELF and relationship with others (because you can't have one without the other). When our boundaries are rigid, we are so often coming from a place of fear and judgment, which leads us to feeling isolated and lonely.  The reality is, we are relational beings.  But judgment breaks our relationships because we are saying my way is right therefore you are wrong-therefore there is no ability to connect.  We dodge vulnerability and we often find ourselves in relationships where we are working to fix, control and manage others.  These over-functioning parts can often block the true intimacy and connection that deep down we desire.  


My guest today, Molly LaCroix is also passionate about relationship.  In this interview, Molly talks about her own childhood adversity  and the pain it caused her, which created a rift in her system.  She explains how when we are left to process something that we don’t have the inner capacity to process on our own, it gets stuck and it shapes the choices moving forward that we make.  So many of us wonder why we make the choices we do-we feel stuck and confused yet when Molly explains how childhood adversity and trauma get stuck in our system-it makes the 'stuckness' we experience make so much sense!

In this episode, we discuss healing from trauma using Internal Family Systems, how easily beliefs can get stuck in our system, and why we use fear and judgment to block us from experiencing true connection in our relationship as well as the pain that it can cause.

Listen to discover:

  • What over-functioning really is and why we do it.
  • What is the difference between judgment and discernment?
  • How a U-TURN can help us stay on our side of the street and lead us to deeper connection with others.
  • The skill we already have within to create beautiful and meaningful relationships.
  • Why we opt for rules over relationship.
  • What it means to have an experience stuck in our system.
  • Why we hold onto negative things more easily than positive experiences.
  • Why the missing link of relationships is emotions.

I love Molly's gentle and loving approach because safety and connection truly are what help us heal.  God's design for us friends is to heal.  And this conversation will help you understand why.  Lastly we also touch on the topic of anger-one of my favorite emotions.  Molly helps us recognize where to start if you are terrified of your anger but realize you've got it buried deep down within and need to slowly let it go.  

"We can get curious about why a part of me is having this reaction to another person.-tell me more…" Molly LaCroix

"Uncertainty frightens us," Molly LaCroix

"Fear of vulnerability is always the underbelly of resisting connection with others." Molly LaCroix

"Our parts need to be heard and welcomed just as they are." Molly LaCroix

"I was raised in the church of ONE RIGHT WAY." Krista Resnick

LINKS & RESOURCES

Molly LaCroix Instagram

Molly LaCroix's Book 

BUILD BETTER BOUNDARIES WORKSHOP


May 04, 202201:14:32
87: How to fully accept and express yourself with Andrea Tessier

87: How to fully accept and express yourself with Andrea Tessier

Do you often feel like you are building someone else's life?  You've done all the things you're supposed to do, your life looks good on paper and yet there is something off?  

Friends, happiness, joy, freedom and peace come from within.  My guest today, Andrea Tessier discovered this truth when she started to look inward and unlearn everyone else's expectations.  Andrea's journey began with feeling insecure and working to overcompensate by being wrapped up in the hustle and self sacrifice.  After recognizing that she was the problem and therefore the solution, she started on her journey of re-remembering who she really was.  

In this episode Andrea shares her personal story and how she went from self sacrifice and insecure to being able to freely express and trust herself in every moment.  

Listen to discover:

  • How we can recognize that it's time to go deeper and do the internal work
  • Why acceptance is the KEY to personal transformation.
  • How we own who we are.
  • The most powerful question we can ask ourselves to begin to KNOW ourselves.
  • How to recognize when you are in your patterns of protection and coping
  • Why sometimes self honoring choices don’t always feel good.
  • Andrea’s favorite emotional release tools and why they are so important.
  • Why feelings are such a big component in honoring our boundaries.
  • Why feelings are such a powerful guidance system.
  • The difference between speaking FROM anger versus ON BEHALF of our anger.
  • What speaking your truth actually is.

We've all chased something in our lives that we believe will make us feel like we've arrived.  The house, the relationship, the kids, the right friend group, the perfect body size, the right job, the right degree but even after all that chasing-I believe that many of us still feel those pangs.  Those little nudges along the way that remind us- "HEY.....get back to YOU.  You are enough, You are OK, You are worthy just as you are!!!"

Using the practices in this episode, you can turn up the self acceptance and self expression in your life, which will help you feel aligned and free no matter your circumstances.

When we don’t know what we feel, we aren’t in tune with what we need.” Andrea Tessier

"I had to teach myself HOW to be self expressed.  For decades I shoved everything down and in."  Andrea Tessier

"If I’m not in my own personal truth and expression, how can I invite the other person forward to be in theirs?" Andrea Tessier

"Owning who you are is a choice in every single moment"-Andrea Tessier

"This idea of confusion is a myth.  We are listening to so many things around us that it drowns out our knowing."  -Andrea Tessier

"Too often we take responsibility for other people’s feelings."-Krista Resnick

"Words can destroy or words can build a bridge." -Krista Resnick

"We have to take ourselves out of autopilot." -Krista Resnick

LINKS & RESOURCES

Andrea Tessier Website

Freedom Starter Kit

Safe to Rise

Instagram

STAY CONNECTED:

EMPOWERED BOUNDARIES COMMUNITY

INSTAGRAM

BUILD BETTER BOUNDARIES

Apr 27, 202201:02:16
86. Gaslighting 101

86. Gaslighting 101

Gaslighting, has become a popular term that is thrown around often.  But what is it?  

Do you often leave conversations feeling confused in your relationship?  

Do you sometimes ask yourself, am I just too sensitive? Do you find yourself apologizing often in your relationship?

Do you make excuses for your partner's behavior and often second guess yourself?

You might be in a relationship with a gaslighter.

Gaslighting is a term that is thrown around often, but it's far more than someone simply questioning our thoughts or our feelings

Gaslighting is psychological manipulation.  It is typically intentional (although I do unpack in the episode how sometimes it can be an unconscious tactic) manipulative and designed to whittle away someone’s self-confidence. 

Gaslighting is emotional abuse.  And it's sneaky because it can be covert and subtle.  The subtly can slowly erode and chip away at that gaslightee's. confidence and self worth.


Gaslighting typically takes place in romantic relationships, but it can take place in any relationships-friendships and family relationships.  

In this episode, I’m sharing what gaslighting is, what it looks like in real life and ways to tell if you’re being gaslighted.


Listen to discover

  • What gaslighting is
  • Why do people gaslight
  • How you spot gaslighting in your relationship
  • What gaslighting might sound like
  • 7 Signs your being Gaslight and what you can do about it.  
  • Tips for how to begin to trust yourself


"Gaslighters NEED control and power" -Krista Resnick

"Gaslighting is an unhealthy form of control arising from a need to dominate others." -Krista Resnick 

"The difference with gaslighting is that there is another person or group that’s actively engaged in trying to make you second-guess what you know is true. If you don’t typically experience these feelings with other people but do with one particular individual, then you might be a victim of gaslighting."- Krista Resnick

"Gaslighting is a particularly sneaky and damaging form of abuse because it alienates us from our own internal compass. “It is hard to spot because, most of the times, it comes from people we love and trust." -Krista Resnick

"When words and actions don’t match, you will save yourself additional pain and disappointment by paying more attention to the person’s actions and behavior, rather than their words." -Krista Resnick

Learning about your emotions and tracking your patterns, allowing you to learn what triggers your feelings and gives helpful strategies to shift your moods." -Krista Resnick

"Part of what makes it painful and challenging to leave a gaslight relationship is that the gaslighter may be the one “someone” you have committed to, such as your best friend, your mom, your sister or brother. It’s okay to walk away from toxicity, regardless of the source."- Krista Resnick

LINKS & RESOURCES:

EMPOWERED BOUNDARIES FACEBOOK COMMUNITY

HOW TO TAKE A RELATIONAL TIME OUT IN 6 STEPS

BUILD BETTER BOUNDARIES WORKSHOP

STAY CONNECTED: 

INSTAGRAM

EMPOWERED BOUNDARIES FACEBOOK COMMUNITY

FACEBOOK


Apr 20, 202255:04