The Puzzling Evidence Show - Famous Last Words
By Philo Drummond
Edited for the sake of time, topically barren, high-level nearly constant fuzzy real radio on air noise included at no charge. Deranged “edits” segue into a cascade of echoing glossolaliac madness, the voicing of lyric ruminations from the free-falling brains of disintegrating personalities. World's Longest-running SubGenius Radio Show. Starring Master Mixotologist and Show Host Puzzling Evidence Himself, Resident Know-It-All Howlland Owll (Dr. Hal) and SubGenius Overman and chief blabbertologist, Dr. Philo Drummond. Re-re-edited by Philo from Puzzling Evidence's Original
I See Blizzard - The Earless Wax Movie Show - A Puzzling Evidence Show Podcast - S6E1
Dr. Hal opens with a bubbly yet murky combination of descriptive words. Puzzling describes his encounters with beautiful California flowers. Waiting for the late arriving Overman, the Boys vamp for time discussing random events when Philo calls in complaining of a show-blocking driver who is preventing his timely arrival. Show ID, Hal fiddles with his own garments this time, Philo finally arrives after defeating the tortures of Hell with ease. Now the Show has to wait for Philo and 420 Guy to conduct "business", Sheesh always waiting for Philo; Philo offers prizes for anyone having seen, "The Necro Files"; Jaw Whitening techniques; Drunk Caller sends jpeg from Raton on line 1; Dr. Hal becomes part of the Borg; Bad Cult Development Mistakes To Avoid; How To Be A Rock Musician; Philo's Face Interfaces with the Control Board; This Is How Bad Music Destroys Good Music For Everyone; Cardboard Robot reveals The Most Unwanted Song Formula; Song Fight with Ugly Fat Larger Boogie; Early HTML search tricks; When The Internet Catches Fire, Make Smoke Signals With It; Alien Syllables Uttered; Living Spaceships Leaking Vats of Phlegm; Vampire Babies with No Teeth Yet Are Forced to Use Straws; Snakes Convention in Your Lower Intestine; Avoid Residual Song Killing Reverberations Loitering in Your Ears; Michael Peppe And The Song Killing Song Murdered The Song Again; Gnome Sane? Notursane. Nurturing strategies. Sadness with Lunch Farm kits From Yore; Outside = good and Inside = bad; keyboard shortcuts; Elevator News is Best!; Little Vincent Price Takes Off; Shambling Rambling Shuffling Automatic Doktors Make No Sense Atoll; Magibon Origin Mystique News; Leslie and the Lys; Tight-Assed System Admins Lock The Network Down; PRO TIP: Easy Method Cheap-Ass Way of Getting On The X-ists Mothership; Don't Get Hit in the Balls by Ball Lightning: It's Not A Pretty Sight; Puzzling Takes the Show Apart While Hal Exposes Secrets; Cloverfield: Good Monster movie; Voices Included Puzzling Evidence, Philo Drummond, Dr. Hal, Cardhouse Robot and 420 Guy.
October 02, 2022
We Want It To Go Right - The Earless Wax Movie Show - A Puzzling Evidence Show Podcast - S5E10
Voices Include Puzzling Evidence, Philo Drummond, Dr. Hal, Michael Peppe, Cardhouse Robot. Did You Send Your Papers In? All Your Special Package of Benefits from The Church; Group Marriage Considerations; 420 Guy leaves; Late Pleistocene Government Rude Noise Excursion; Hospital Tips; Bringing Us to The Power of the Jesus (Paper) Prayer Rug; OBEY THE HEAD - "I will obey ANY disembodied Head" - Cardhouse Robot; Imperial Parade of Dionysius; Peppe Speaks; Various Jabbner; The Forgotten Reclusive Loner Hermits; Bad Wheel Of Fortune; Peppe Rants; Benjamin Disraeli quote; Fake Caller Philo Calls in from the Show to say, "This is a PERFECT Show"; Story Tropes Revisited; Kids getting away with murder and low order fun-raising while Hal continues to underoverestimate Puzzling. After retrieving its garment, the Show whipped up a souffle and got a woody. Suddenly, without their garments Drs. Howwll and Drummond danced a mad conjuring jig but suddenly noticed their nudity and became ashamed in the face of the Show. In their old country, they were repsected as Doktors; Sigurd, et. al; Hal Blabbers without Ceasing; A Double-Bag Ten; Philo Recites Facts About Nudism; Peppe Speaks About German; 15 Million Drummond Family TV Hat Business Reply Week Long Party Card; Puzz Injects Awesome Show Great Job while Hal and Philo join in semi-live wearing capes while playing the "game" with renewed youthful vigor. Show ID; Bad Words Said in Oppish by Hal; Basketball Rappin'; SubGeniuses are the MOST Discriminated Against Group EVER; Peppe Reads!; Prayer Rug Letter; Strange American Sex Rituals; Pryce Bronson; Most Important Fault Lines; Drawing Tickets; Do-Me-Do-Duds!; Puzz Ev Saves The Bay; Hide the Waldo; Philo Leaves Early for his Conspiracy Job; SubGenius Characteristics According to Hal; Will To Fil; Hal's Desk Contents; Like a smelly beat-up old hat filled with half-tuned eighth-notes and 20 pages of notes in a pheasant cloaca with a thousand 15 dollar spenders. Puzzling ran his fingers along his mustache while considering the analysis before him. The terrorists were stopped dead in their tracks when the Show penetrated the compound. Shifting his butt so Philo could face Hal directly, he asked, "How many people know about this?". Hal coughed, "People, yeah people." The Puzzling Evidence Show, yeah, it looks easy and sounds fun but it takes chocolate salty balls to pull it off.
September 18, 2022
Davy, Davy Crockett King of Fear - The Earless Wax Movie Show - A Puzzling Evidence Show Podcast - S5E9
Puzzling starts the Show which, again, easily blows minds all over the entire planet; Hal groans while access is granted; Cardhouse Robot crawls in through a drainpipe; People Complain Soundlesslessly As Too Many Minds Are Already Blown; It's Always the Economy; Dr. Hal Reads The News From The Metaphorical Bay Area collective toilet; Martin Motherhead Shot "Bob" in the butt in LA with Iben Stam; Losers Not Allowed This Time; The Greasy Unwashed Armpit of America; Go Up and Down Your Oregon; Passport to the Bathroom; Who Broke My Country?; Gilroy Caller gives his report; The Flouride causes ADD and Care Allocation Deficit Reduction; The Boys plan a military coup of Denmark poorly; We Need a Dog Walking Dog or A Dog That Cleans Up Dog Feces; White Honda Denmark Gilroy Blues; I should've not done that to my assistant; Tidying Up In The Back Part Of The Show; Cooking Meat With a Popcorn Popper; Dobbstown Therapy; The Moron Brothers predicted; The Glass Is Too Tall Not Half-Full; Singing The Song That Refused To Die With The Band That Dare Not Speak Its Name in the Town That Couldn't Die; Various; Fart Song Name Talk; Boys That's Some Good Advice; Donuts are Nice; Pow Wow The Indian Boy; Congress Prostitute Training Farm Club; Not Like Popcorn Meat Chunk Air Frying; Solve the Food Problem by Cloning Dinosaurs for Food; Try For Complete Addle-Pation at Work; If You're SubGenius, Business Works For You!; I Totally Miss You, Dude! Puzzling looked back, even more surprised and still fingering the minuscule newspaper. "Philo, I stole you Walkman," he replied. They looked at each other with closed eyes, like two slap-happy modern, mashed maggots hopping at a very spiteful snow storm, which had reggae music playing in the background and two lovable old uncles boating to the beat. Puzzling regarded Philo's ample hairy feet and dirty warts. "I feel the same way!" revealed Puzzling with a delighted grin.
September 02, 2022
This Is The Access Straw - The Earless Wax Movie Show - A Puzzling Evidence Show Podcast - S5E8
voices include: Puzzling Evidence, Dr. Howlland Owll, Dr. Philo Drummond, Cardhouse Robot, Much technical talk opens the Show and then Dr. Hal accidentally spins into politics and destroys the Show's dedication to non-topicality. George Washington's surveyors retinue and bailywick, The Show is like an Audio Newspaper, Poor George's Horrible Acne issues and Stymie's Limburger, Philo defines and suffers from "Search-nesia" the act of forgetting what you were going to search for on the internet., responsible root finding vs. button pushing, More Geo. Washington times talk, Michael Peppe explains Psychic Brain Sorcery as they separate his mind from his brain, Watching At The Slack Shack, Defecate On Your Eternal Resting Place Or Not, Code Crackers Philo and Cardhouse, Dr. Hal solves a unsolved riddle and forgets the answer, Peppe GOES WILD!! Show Goes off the rails and then skitters around on the ground for a while before re-railing, Rawhide Chewing Gum When You Need The Taste of Leather!, The Phone System is Anti-Peppe, Batman vs. Vampires, Golf IS Violence by Philo and Cardhouse, Peppe Tell It Like it Is!, The Burning Man, Dirty Talking Preachers, Various yakkin' of little import but Michael Peppe and the other callers hang in util the end of the Show, Philo compains of lack of currency at the Show download sites, Philo closes the Show with shoutout credits, Micael Peppe's Death Scene brings the Show to an incredibly dramatic close.
August 23, 2022
He'll Give You Something For Your Money - The Earless Wax Movie Show - A Puzzling Evidence Show Podcast - S5E7
Voices include: Puzzling Evidence, Dr. Howlland Owll, Dr. Philo Drummond, Cardhouse Robot, Promises of "Bob" from some unknown ranter, then The Boys meander into the mix, Doktors break their backs for the Show, Jonny Quest Intro, Exotic Alcoholic Drink names, Philo serves the booze, A Caller is an Active Listener, Peppe lost his way after, Gnomes can do it all, Effects of Colon-Blow by Colon-Blow Expert Dr. Hal, Movie jabber, Amazing Very Good SubGenius Guarantees and Warranties Are The Best, Where Is Michael Peppe, Again?, Colon Storage News, It is well known that ßs,H = w(e). This reduces the results of  to well-known properties of sets. In The Show, the authors address the existence of Cavalieri SUBalgebras under the additional assumption that there exists a left-canonical a most surely P -solvable vector. Therefore the work in the Show did not consider the semi-smooth, trivially Y -finite, ultra-everywhere integral case, as in fish-feeding reverse bad thing re-installation reduction strategies and such, We substantially increased caller lower-colon performance with less than 50% of the expected collateral damage which is no big deal. Dr. Hal ran our NMAP system on commodity operating systems, such as Microsoft Windows NT and Coyotos. Puzz Ev added support for our framework as a statically-linked user- caller-space application. Our lower-colon inhabitants experiments soon proved that exokernelizing our fuzzy Knesis Philo brand keyboards was more effective than making them autonomously, as previous work suggested. Our experiments soon proved that microkernelizing our PDP 11s was more effective than exokernelizing them, as previous work suggested. We note that other researchers have tried and failed to enable this functionality. In any case, they survived and nobody's feelings got hurt.
August 22, 2022
Excuse Me, Gordon Freeman - The Earless Wax Movie Show - A Puzzling Evidence Show Podcast - S5E6
Edited for sake of time, topically barren, high-level nearly constant fuzzy real radio on air noise included at no extra charge, originally broadcast March 7th, 2008. The Show effortlessly blows minds and opens with Hal's Half-Life Character then Puzzling, Hal, Philo - Michael Peppe doesn't love us anymore; Much Ado About Keanu; Kull NOT Krull; Various Hilarious Generic Inter-Host Banter; Dr. Hal's PC Computer Blues; Dr. Hal and THE ONE true love; Gourd Head It's ALL right; The Show Is Like An Unrestrained Concept Thing; The Brain is No Longer In Control; Hello, Caller; Rectum? Damn Near Killed Them; The Show is Wrecked up; A Pissed-Off Epileptic Farmer Screaming Blasphemous Unnameable Oaths at a Red Mutated One-Legged Pregnant Goat Watching an Oversized Diamond Encrusted Solid Gold Bucket Full Of Chainsaws, Marbles and False Teeth Falling Over A 1,247 foot tall cliff during a 100 Year Thunderstorm Inside a Gigantic Platinum Cement Mixer Running On Double-Speed and Loaded With Plate Glass and Philips Screwdrivers While a Microscopic Monoaural Record Player Outfitted with a 10 Gauge Sewing Needle with Big Red Straps Amplified To 190db Repeatedly skips on the Same Three Notes On The Three Stooges Children's Record "We're Coming To Your House; Looking Around The World At Who Is Listening; I Sat On The Pie I Was Supposed To Eat; 33,000 Children Listeners plus 2 and 20 Unknown Countries; I was unintentionally misled to Lead You; Callers Call In with Their Telephone Numbers; Giant Screwdrivers; Caller Calls Us Back To Make Fun Of Us; CopyBob's Big Bites; Abe Lincoln: Republican; Vimana Spaceships; I Thought About Becoming A Super-Delegate Comic Book Talk from Philo and Hal; Philo sings; AYP calls; Celebrity Hair Contest; Jews and Nazis and Tarzan; Suicide Man Calls; More Cheetah Long-Lived Speculation and Artwork; Cheetah Bought Apple when it was $10 a share; Brigette Bardot Brings The Hammer Down on Cheetah's Booze and Cigars; How Cheetah Paints and What He Thinks About; Wild X-tacy Babes; The NEW "Bob's" Lunch Hour - still at noon, Various Yakkin'; Puzzling gets an iPod; Hal babbles unceasingly; Philo reads movie synopses; Suicide Man talks Russian movies; The Boys anticipate the end of the Show; Eddie brings food for Philo who doesn't want to share but does anyway and it turns out to be Angel Food.
July 04, 2022
Buncha Other Stupid People - The Earless Wax Movie Show - A Puzzling Evidence Show Podcast - S5E5
Puzzling, Dr. Hal, Dr. Drummond, and Cardhouse Robot look at stuff and describe objects for the listeners; Copybob checks in; goes to beat the Pope of Las Vegas; What stays in Vegas goes to Vegas; Michael Peppe ruined everything now we're screwed; First get a bucket of pills and a couple of chainsaws; put everything in a big blobby pile to touch with a pole; who do you want me to be; Why Philo Hid His Face in Arise; God's Greatest Mystery; Copybob algorithm on Heggenbrenner Road; Dr Hal at 12 Galaxies every Monday night form 9-11; Satan's Co-pilot's assistant's helper; Don't Stop for Gas in Hell; 1,000 Foot Snake; 3:00am is the Exact Wrong Time of the Morning; Church Titles Order of Succession; The Show is Like a Little Diaper Filled Baby; CopyBob said "FUCKING" on the air forcing the Boys to apologize; Going to the Train Thang; Various Hilarious Generic Inter-Host and Caller Banter regarding the Amino Acids at the Ace Wrecking Yard; Hal's Hunting and Coffee Experiment; Gut-Fest; Caller says We're The Best Show EVER!!!! BassMaster or BassMaster? "They're Gonna Laugh At You" - Carrie's Mom; What if JFK and His Posse Shot Back and Laid Waste to the Entire top of The School Book Depository; JFK in Revenge In Dallas!; (GREAT FREE BLOCKBUSTER MOVIE IDEA); Bert and Ernie Go BRUTAL!! Gun and Train Robbery Show at the Cow Palace; Caps Lock Errors; Buck Tooth Errors; Puzzling Wishes the Show Would Stop because it hurts; We May Not Be Here Next Week, I Wanna Know...
April 26, 2022
Lies, Lies, Lies, NOW! - The Earless Wax Movie Show - A Puzzling Evidence Show Podcast - S5E4
Puzzling, Dr. Hal, Dr. Drummond, Rev. Stang, Cardhouse Robot struggle to rise above the cacophony of same voices talking over each other, Rev Stang recounts X-Day attempt on his life, Dr. Drummond reveals remedial behavior strategies, X-Day is just around the world from us, Philo admonishes crew on proper radio show etiquette, Stang and Drummond say thanks "Bob" for his gifts of slack, Google Cloudmaker with Cardbot Roadhouse; Philo laughingly transforms during End O' The World Porno; Future fear and sniggering jerks; Rev. Stang recounts his dream of Dom DeLuise Has The Code In His Genes to Broadcast to the World and Save it From Unknown Virus; Who is your Daddy and what does he do? Perfect SubGenius Content Contest; How to Run A Video on the Radio; Puzzling Maggie-Bon; Rev. Stang delivers A Proper SubGenius Salute; Show ID comments; What Should The Show's Theme Be?; Listener Akbar in Algeria; Rev. Stang's Program notes Unitarians are Nice; Drilling into the listerners routers around the world; Getting Pirate Cat Radio Ready for You; Brother Hal and Captain Stang with Commisar Evidence and Overjanitor Philo; I Don't Care Band; The Unknown Escape From Cleveland; They're Gonna Laugh At You; X-Day is coming ARE YOU READY!!; There's a lot of naked chicks in Hell, Dante's Inferno with Jimmy Swaggart; The Pain between your ears is called your Brain; following too closely; Making copies; Tiny Pow-Wow at Philo's; Famous SubGenius Family Horror rectified; It's all over the floor; Concerned Callers; Talk More of Less about "Bob": You Decide!; 2 "Bob" One Cup; Jenkum "Bob"; Centralia PA is Still On Fire; Remembering Michael Peppe (He's OK); Dr. Hal at 12 Galaxies; The If It's Yellow Variations; Some Old Gals; Philo Present the Punch-Out-All-Night at the Knock-A-Head-Atorium; Ticket Bastard; Dreaming of Dream Fluff; Johnny Skid Mark's Underwear; Approaching the close with Movie News Vamping; various babbling and trivia; Any Giant Monster Is Good; Our Primordial Guilt Zipper-Down-The-Back Monster; Boys! Pick Up Your Weapons On The Way Out;
April 03, 2022
Well Good Morning Frankenstein Love Cabinet - The Earless Wax Movie Show - A Puzzling Evidence Show Podcast - S5E3
Puzzling, Dr. Hal, Cardhouse Robot and Dr. Drummond, This is THAT episode. Dr Hal hawks his junk with 33 vertebrae, Philo Dances With Scissors Real Fast On Drugs, They're pushing the web again, Mom; A Broad Show; The Show Won't Give The Callers A Chance; Parts of the show are nice; Gutless callers; Pushing the web with hairy toes could be making it busy; Philo describes Everyday Life on the Pleasure Saucers; How Cult Leaders Pick Up Chicks; CopyBob wants to know if Philo Got The Letter; PHILO FINDS THE LETTER!!; Slack Jaw Gumballs Push the Wed; Station ID; Ask Dr. Hal at 12 Galaxies; Puzzling Evidence Show Intro!, Take it away, One-Eye!; Commercial Break; Pushing the Web some more Pushers try to hook the callers on cheaper Shows; Fungus Shrouded Valley of Fresno; Face Based Religion; Random Gift Shipping; Puzzling leaves his post; Drives aimlessly while Show on autopilot; TaxiBob rides along with the Show; Meat Guns; Fried Goat Sphincter Rings called Funyuns; Interstitial Tines; The Vortex Took 'em Away; The Show id Going to Push the web some more tonight; The Show translated in Japanese Service; Say Hello for Personal Service; Politicians and Lawyers banned form SubGenius Heaven; This is a Non-Reality Show; Callers Need More Web, Fast!; Coming Down Off The Web is a Hard Ride; Amino Acids at the Hemlock; SubGenius.com Art Mines Coffee Table Book; idea; Alternate JFK Timeline using Bazookas or Flowers - YOU DECIDE!; My Pedal Extremities are Initiating Combustion; Philo was "Bob's" man on the Inside; See "Bob's" Lunch Hour for Images of Philo spanning 30 years; Hunger Laughter; It's Your Religion: They Have to Approve of it; The Law of Predictable Sustainability; Dog Petting Techniques; X-Day approaches; COINCIDENTAL Ukrainian NEWS - BULL TERRIER REVEALED TO BE PAKISTANI RAT; Ulaan Bator's Master; Puupy Coat; Do You Even Internet?; Digger and Poopoo and Popo; Show Shutdown Procedures Begins; Teenagers Cold Cock Disney Characters For Fun; The Only Good Cops Are at Burning Man; Eddie Brings Nutbread for Shift Change; The Government is Recorded Laughing at you (and us); County Employees blame lack of completed work on other employees; Less work / more people = conty government; Water board the crap out of our enemies; HEY LET's GO!
March 19, 2022
In The Enthusiasm of My Confidence - The Earless Wax Movie Show - A Puzzling Evidence Show Podcast - S5E2
In this exciting episode, Puzz, Philo and Cardhouse Robot discuss Church secrets heretofore unknown to the general public and how they interface with the Show's mission and purpose. Shaved Ape Society News. The Show will never forget old What's-His-Name, All Your Slack Are Belong To Us, Show safety rules, Don't Drunkenly Endanger Your Proud Show Hand by Running With The Show in Your Bleeding Head Holding Hand, How Did You Get To Be Famous, Zombies Ate My Brain but left the Rest, 63% of all movies are Zombie Movies, You're Going To Die, Caller Stokes Zombie (and Other) Death Fear, spawning Tsunambies, Meet Me at The End of The World's Fair, They're Totally Going To Laugh At You, Sissy; Government Sums Up the End O' Da Woild, I'll Be Wearing My "Bob" Goods, People Gotta Learn, Concept Extension Strategies, Where is Hal?, Pants Spitting, Smudgey Sploogy PaRk Bench Effluvia, J-Pop Goddesses, Raining in The Studio, Those Lost in Sin; Too Much TALKING, I Hope I aM tHE hIGHLANDER, Every Business and Church is Like A Deck of Cards, "Bob" Is Like The Joker of Our Face-Based Religion; Easy to Get Laid In The Church!, Dancin' With A Hard On reprise, Loopstation Steel Cage Match, Always A Bigger Leviathan In The Sea; dental School Dentists Using Sharp Edges; Tony is reporting Gilroy Weather; Indefinite Quantities Discussion while Dodging Trucks - Gilroy Road Caller; Building Zombies for Tomorrow with Today's People; Saying Things On THE Radio; Wearing Our Nikes on YouTube; The Boys fall off the edge.
January 29, 2022
Hey Harry Potter - The Earless Wax Movie Show - A Puzzling Evidence Show Podcast - S5E1
Luchadore requirements, Fishing Rod accidents, grawdoo scraping methods, sad mop of a man, PuzzlingEvidenceTV is still there but Philo rage quit YouTube already, Men wearing drug britches, music pressure pushes the dancers down in the mix through the dribble tube, Cornfield Caller with Mental Floss Caller, Caller Tony escapee on the loose chasing UFOs, Used Overalls Finally available For All Concord Farmers, Philo's Radio Little Caller Girlfriend Contest Winner Calling from Overseas, Oozing out of Area 51's Underground Inter-dimensional Crack, Milkweed Cheese for Vegans, Pork The One You're With, Little Caller Infatuation, Gilroy Dreaming, Hal's still not here, Don't Hurt Yourself or Others, I'm In My Own Dealy Plaza, JFK's Groundhog Day, Worship Caller Needs US Look For The Monster, Its' About The Dots On The Face, YouTube's cRaZy rules, Economics Projection Issues and Human Ingenuity, "Puzzling Evidence is the standard by which all SubGenius Radio Shows are measured", music from the nether regions of space at 4:20, Arkansas Clock Anomalies, Hal Tired of all The slap-handed back-patting, Cardhouse MIB encounters, Little Caller Haifa Tales, The interesting part has not yet arrived, Have your Own Show now, Little Caller Likes Jail (In Israel) says, "it's kind of like a resort", I probably did something wrong, YouTube hates your original tune, Computer Trouble, Liquid Chicken Soy Substitutes, Cheese Like Heroin Dreams, The Show is For Forming Thoughts like Injecting Cheese, Streaming Smells, YouTube defecates users with Lawyerese, Philo Business Gobbledy-gook, Dread Pirate Philo as World Overlord, Politician = Evil. Pan-phobia is real, Callers have a side conversation until close.
November 03, 2021
What Happened to Those People - A Puzzling Evidence Show Podcast - S4E8
Where Hell puts its trash, Hellbound TrainShow Tonight the boys will dump the script and wing it. Puzzling finally punches the Philo and Hal units in and the Show gets all professional and under delivers its first PSA. Climbing into their garments, the Boys attack the Show with renewed vigor and bring it to all the mother-fathers because that's how they roll. Kids getting away with murder and low order fun-raising while Hal continues to underoverestimate Puzzling. After retrieving its garment, the Show whipped up a souffle and got a woody. Suddenly, without their garments Drs. Howwll and Drummond danced a mad conjuring jig but eventually noticed their nudity and became ashamed in the face of the Show. In their old country, they were respected as Doktors. The Show is like a short night without sleep. Digital drip frigid pyrofridgeration keeps fire ice cold as we learn Dr. Hal's 3 least favorite days of the week. One moment, he is discussing cheeses with his wealthy Uncle, Philo; the next, watching with horror as craven reprehensible Bobbies sickeningly grundle each other. He knows these Bobbies came from Mountain Home but he can't prove it - at least not without some poisonous phonebooks. The Puzzling Evidence Show is your only hope for relief from life's soul killing drudgery and the relentlessly depraved Conspiracy buggery of your mind's hind-crack.
September 21, 2021
They Can Talk About The Caller - A Puzzling Evidence Show Podcast - S4E7
Philo and Puzzleton - The Troll Hunters of Upper Buttblastston A Smelly Troll Plot by Moroccan Roll Philo Trollsondrum is just an ordinary 734-year-old boy living in Upper Buttblastston, until he sees a horrifying troll, called Hal Robbuttson, climb in through his bedroom window. Hal, who is built like a potato filled with rocks and smells like grated butt smothered with sauce made from ass, sings a song about making little boys into sausages. Philo tricks the troll into falling out of his window by telling him that there are child-brain cheesesteaks outside. He realises that the troll has to be stopped before he eats any more children and sets to work trying to invent a trap. Meanwhile, in a cave just outside Upper Buttblastston, Puzzleton Evidency starts to suspect that eating children is wrong, and grows tired of hunting with his fellow trolls. He decides to live as a vegetarian. After a brief misunderstanding involving a forgotten appendage and lashings of ketchup, Philo and Puzzleton team up to stop the trolls, using a catapult that fires rutabaga. They lure the trolls by creating a big mound of boogers.
September 21, 2021
Rewarding Audio Receptors - A Puzzling Evidence Show Podcast - S4E6
Rewarding Audio Receptors The Magic Kettle A Short Story by Skidmark Twain Philosonson Drummertonville was thinking about Halvin Robberstonton again. Halvin was a snotty coward monster with short buttock and fat frophook. Philosonson walked over to the window and reflected on his wild surroundings. He had always hated creepy Simpledimpletonville City with its large, lovely lofty peaks. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel ambivalent. Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a snotty figure of Halvin Robberstonton. Philosonson gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a dumpy, optimistic, liquor beer drinker with skinny buttock and tall frophook. His friends saw him as a grieving, greasy Giant Saint. Once, he had even jumped into a river and saved a xenophobic fluffy kitten. But not even a dumpy person who had once jumped into a river and saved a xenophobic fluffy kitten, was prepared for what Halvin had in store today. The sleet rained like running toads, making Philosonson unstable. Philosonson grabbed a magic kettle that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers. As Philosonson stepped outside and Halvin came closer, he could see the fast smile on his face. Halvin gazed with the affection of 2374 cold-blooded poised pigeons. He said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want revenge." Philosonson looked back, even more unstable and still fingering the magic kettle. "Halvin, I am your father's father," he replied. They looked at each other with puzzled feelings, like two fluttering, fantastic flies lumping at a very sinister Feast of St. Swithen's Day Eve, which had jazz music playing in the background and two popular uncles dumping to the beat. Philosonson regarded Halvin's short buttock and fat frophook. "I feel the same way!" revealed Philosonson with a delighted grin. Halvin looked sneezy, his emotions blushing like a grubby, gentle guillotine. Then Halvin came inside for a nice drink of liquor beer. THE END Praise for The Magic Kettle "I feel like I know Philosonson Drummertonville. In a way, it feels as though I've always known him." - The Daily Tale "About as enjoyable as being hailed on whilst taking in washing that has been targeted by seagulls with the squirts." - Enid Kibbler "Saying the sleet rained like running toads is just the kind of literary device that makes this brilliant." - Hit the Spoof "I could do better." - Zob Gloop
August 15, 2021
People Not Driving Across - A Puzzling Evidence Show Podcast - S4E5
People Not Driving Across The Curse of the Cursed Sandwich A Horror Story by Green Head 2 Trucks Whilst investigating the death of a local housekeeper, a splendid housekeeper called Philo Drummond uncovers a legend about a supernaturally-cursed, cursed sandwich circulating throughout Fortress of Solitude. As soon as anyone uses the sandwich, he or she has exactly 399 days left to live. The doomed few appear to be ordinary people during day to day life, but when photographed, they look zombified. A marked person, Cardhouse Robot, feels like a sexy ample aardvark to touch. Philo gets hold of the sandwich, refusing to believe the superstition. A collage of images flash into his mind: a simple kitten balancing on a cold housekeeper, a bucket full of cooked puke, an old newspaper headline about a bear baiting accident, a hooded owl ranting about 3rd Leg and a drinking well located in a sleepy place. When Philo notices his unknown appendage have aardvark-like properties, he realizes that the curse of the cursed sandwich is true and calls in his grandfather, a detective called Puzzling Evidence, to help. Puzzling examines the sandwich which is inside of a truck which is also inside of a truck, and willingly submits himself to the curse. He finds that the same visions flash before his eyes. He finds the simple kitten balancing on a cold housekeeper nose particularly chilling. He joins the infinitely long queue for a supernatural death. Philo and Puzzling pursue a quest to uncover the meaning of the visions, starting with a search for the hooded owl. Will they be able to stop the curse before their time is up? Praise for The Curse of the Cursed Sandwich "This is actually pretty scary. I'll never be able to look at another cursed sandwich for as long as I live." - The Daily Tale "Oh please! There's nothing scary about a simple kitten balancing on a cold housekeeper. Are we supposed to feel spooked?" - Enid Kibbler "The hooded owl really freaked me out." - Hit the Spoof "I hope Philo and Puzzling get married." - Zob Gloop
August 14, 2021
Ok, There it is - A Puzzling Evidence Show Podcast - S4E4
The Puzzling Evidence Show starts safely enough when our knife-happy hero, Philo, wakes up in a vestigial dreamfield beckoning callers to be active and contact the Show. The Callers begin tumbling in around 3:36 discussing forgotten recipes involving tobasco sauce. Philo reads from and discusses anal passages from Boys Will Be Boys and the Show's Everything Disclaimer Form. Philo shuffles papers and reads THE SPECIAL NOTE to the memory of 3 minutes ago. Caller wants to talk about Icarus and Daedalus Burning Men. It's like a different word for fun. Utilize the day, it's highly flatulent. Detailing their brutal response, Philo slaps a dangerous oil-soaked fruit pie, mutilates an Arnold Palmer donut, and monitors a previously unknown appendage stump. PuzzEv just laughs and tosses the vaunted Golden Turd into a box of ninja stars and slides the box behind his canoe under an old blanket of his own design. The Puzzling Evidence Radio Show: It has all the characteristics of a good radio show , but the characteristics get lost on the way there and arrive too late to help.
May 20, 2021
Necessary Funny Business - A Puzzling Evidence Show Podcast - S4E3
Tonight's show includes an incredible All-Star Line-up with Puzz Ev, Philo, Dr. Hal, Bishop Joey, Jhim Kennedy, Cardhouse Robot, Phineas Narco, and KROB. Recent Scientific Studies have shown that Puzz's legendarily potent intro drugs will kill like an angel in the casual listeners brains who are already stoned on Show, On the way to the Show, Puzz loses a whole lot of words. Complicated words. Words that we were going to use to describe the intro. Now they are gone. Instead, The Show re-erects a sans-brain Hitler while the Show Team itself gets in the Trunk with grandma, in which they Find a Hog to get High On. Callers makes strangeness work for them, it's YOUR conspiracy, so Say it RIGHT! Biden as Skinny Costello. What are YOUR Top 10 Reasons to hate me?? We put the FUN in FUNdaMENTALism! SLOW DOWN, you can't snort that much Show all at once. Then is REALLY gets going FAST![It's all about me, and you, and us - BUT NOT THEM! AND MUCH MUCH MORE - too much stuff to write right now.
March 20, 2021
Kinda Stupid Actually - A Puzzling Evidence Show Podcast - S4E2
Solfugids Underestimating Puzzling Evidence is a mistake made too often everyday. With Phat Man Dee. After retrieving his newer garment, the intro whipped up a frenzy and left out nobody. Suddenly intact, and without remorse Drs. Howwll and Drummond rarely do what they say they will do but act like maybe they will this time but at the last second fizzle out and instead back-up the Show with the listeners still intact while deconstructing gloating as a concept. The Boys were glad to have their garments as well as their marmots back. Hal sneezed, "thusly, spake Schmidlap." The Puzzling Evidence Show, yeah, sure it looks easy and sounds fun but it takes down blown out tires and soupcon scrounged from the dump.
January 22, 2021
It's a Really Sexy Slack Show - A Puzzling Evidence Show Podcast - S4E1
"There's a lady in Chicago that's been living there since I was in high school. She's a very nice, beautiful lady. Her parents don't want any of this, especially her grandparents or her siblings. She's been there. A lot of times she'll be going straight to the movies. But that's the only thing that really keeps her alive. She goes to the movies the day after she's killed, and the day after she dies. She goes to a movie theater the day after she's killed; she doesn't get a ticket, she doesn't get tickets, she's never seen the movie, she's never heard of it again. So she's sitting there, and there are no lights. And here's one of those days. I think she's dead, and her father has not been able to see her for the last three centuries; that's all she's seen. They put her into a big plane, and she doesn't get out of the plane. I think she's gone somewhere. So I've given up hope. I haven't given up hope for her. I think I've decided that I can't just go on. So I went to the movie theater on Monday. I sat there, and there were two people watching it. And that's when it finally dawned on me: that they did not know what, exactly, they were doing with his body. This is a person that I've got to kill in some way" - ai maniac
January 22, 2021
Do The Other Voice Again - A Puzzling Evidence Show Podcast - S3E10
I was a kid when it happened. I'd come home and my sister was on the phone with the guy that was walking around. She was talking to a friend that was trying to make some kind of money, and he was like, "Do you think you can make a living from it?" So, she's like, "Um, yeah. I'd like to take a job as a salesperson to make some money." So I was like, "I need to do some kind of work and maybe it would make a difference." So, I went through, like, 2 or 3 other business models i've tried for years. Because when you talk to people and they come up to you with the idea of taking a job as a salesperson, you think they're a little confused. But it's all really simple, because it's very easy to get a job at one company and to get a business or service and it's so easy to get something on a daily basis that's going to be a nice investment in your life. A friend of mine, in a couple months, I got a job at a local grocery store that ran on the grocery store business model. I was really impressed with the fact that it was very common for people to walk to a store and sit down and buy their food. I ended up buying everything at $9.99, and I thought it was really, really good.
January 22, 2021
It's Just Sad - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S3E9
In the spirit of vacuum cleaner worship the boys bamboozle the top off of the SubGenius bucket of LIES. This week Philo, Hal, and Puzzling spend little time disguising a butt-load of forgotten books, users, non-existent inconsistencies and some other stuff BEFORE presenting a 5-star whirlwind food service performance that goes beyond the pail or bucket. Inside-Jokes, Overly Extended Concepts, Preposterously Lovable Conspiracy Theories dominate while the callers fight desperately for a word. The Puzzling Evidence Radio Show on KPFA. Like an fine old chum bucket filled with half-baked concepts and sweet pickles in an arresting array of florid purification..
December 08, 2020
Bye Doug, See Ya, Steve! - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S3E9
'...What's that smell?' Philo felt a stabbing pain in his taint when Puzzling asked this. Philo calmly assured him that most albino cats sigh before mating, yet South American hissing sloths usually flamboyantly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Puzzling Evidence because he had found Puzzling's tape deck only 5 days prior. It all started when our host, Puzzling Evidence, woke up in a lemur-infested moor. It was the 5th time this week. Feeling ridiculously concerned, Puzzling stroked a potato, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). The potato offered no succor.
December 01, 2020
Freedom Rings From Walmart - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S3E8
The Brow fiddles with your hind-brain from the back-side and then tells a story, then Puzzling, Philo and Hal inhabit a former, more relaxed leisurely time drinking too many Tom Collinses. Philo finally asks Dr Hal a really hard question while Hal demures, avoiding Philo's masterful play. The Boys are tired of whipping the show into a frenzy and then overthinking it, they practice the time honored art of avoidism, while their favorite Phones ring off the walls directly into the trash can, unanswered and unloved. Callers must talk to each other and solve world hunger while the Boys can only contemplate breakfast.
November 28, 2020
Where's Doug and the Door? - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S3E7
Puzzling's unfathomable goodness makes Satan his bitch but a long, long time ago in a distant galaxy, leaving the corpulent planet Poontangus, a group of SubGenii fly toward a distant speck which gradually resolves into an abandoned space church. Civil war strikes the galaxy, which is ruled by an Evil Philo Drummond clone, a funky orc capable of space highway mopery and even mindcrapping. Terrified as a little girl, Dr. Hal flees the Empire, with his protector, Admiral Puzzling Evidence. They beat feet for Dobbstown. When they arrive, a fight breaks out. Evidence uses his cheap plastic seven-bladed windbreaker of Slack to defend Dr. Hal and together they decide it's time to steal a genuine Bobmobile and shoot their way out. Evidence must fight to save Dr. Hal but when he unearths a giant frozen sausage, the entire future of the corporate galaxy is at stake all the while Suicide Man's phone sucks real bad.
September 23, 2020
Rutabaga Radio Hour - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S3E6
The Show opens with Rutabaga "Sigmund" Oswald's girlfriend because yesterday's contest was on the 49th of Froptober. Then Your Hard-Hitting Bleeding-Edge Wide-Eye-Ball News Team, standing shyly in their daintiest undergarments, Delivers the Up-To-The-Minute Cutting-Edge-News both Bad/Good and Other. The Show extrapolates the minuscule and questionable content far longer than it's actual substance should allow, even into the sanctified and union mandated "break" period. The Boys step back from the Show and take a deep breath. The Puzzling Evidence Radio Show on KPFA. It has all the massive Johnson of a heaving M'muh radio show. But their diction is too good and they are all three too handsome to be allowed to leave the building.
September 05, 2020
Your Brain - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S3E5
The Ask Dr. Hal Show temporarily takes over the Show's empty cranial socket until the "Other" arrives, Suicide Man saw The Eclipse and jabbers on about it, callers collide like cavorting continents, rules for having sex with the Show are enumerated and belabored, a tempting easy recipe for success is tossed out with the trash and numerous potential million-dollar opportunities are strategically avoided, online warriors' most powerful attempts at virtual megalomania are temporarily sidetracked, Top Commenters egos spill out of the basement confines fully naked and pitifully endowed. The Puzzling Evidence Radio Show on KPFA. It has all the fiction of a Gary G'broagfranning radio show. But the fiction is too true and forces painful self-reflection.
September 03, 2020
We're Gonna Do The Show Now - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S3E4
The seaside town of Dobbstown holds a secret. Dr. Hal has the perfect life working as a monkey fluffer in the city while fropping freely with his friend, Philo Drummond. However, when he finds an enchanted guillotine in his cellar, he begins to realize that things are not quite as they seem. A resurrection leaves Dr. Hal with some startling questions about his past, and he sets off to magical Dobbstown to find some answers. At first the people of Dobbstown are funny and daring. He is intrigued by the curiously stable toenail collector, Puzzling Evidence. However, after he introduces him to hard video games, Dr. Hal slowly finds himself drawn into a web of vandalism, decadence and gluttony. Can Dr. Hal resist the charms of Puzzling Evidence and uncover the secret of the enchanted guillotine before it's too late, or will his demise become yet another Dobbstown mystery?
June 18, 2020
Oh Louie Louie You Goat Woman - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S3E3
Hedley Lamar's pocket lipstick cell phone buys old movie talk from the Boys until it gives way to a Colonel Sanders talk-fest back when there was only 5 herbs and no spices, the col sold his 1st empty bucket at 12 years old until he thought of putting a live chicken in it. Egg Dough Boiling grease finger licking mixed with 3 more herbs and 1 spice with more dough covered live chicken. Our assurance to you: No necrophilia. Double fried brow diddled chicken feather finger looking good then sold to tiny school fiends until finally all 11 herbs and spices were added. KFC double-dipped double crust hand dipped dobbs dotted alien finger lickin eyes finally the real all 11 and the Nazi-hatin' recipe is complete. Philo offers his nostril mining tips and tricks. Crappy but free schwag.
June 18, 2020
Moment of Sacred Noise - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S3E2
The Show opens with Hal's Pocket Spider scuttling in and out of his pants because yesterday was the 49th. Then Your Hard-Hitting Bleeding-Edge Wide-Eye-Ball News Team Delivers the Up-To-The-Minute Cutting-Edge-News both Bad/Good and Other. Callers collide, rules for having sex with Show Squid are enumerated. Shoeing formerly useless barefoot appendages. General Hal's irritating King Loud background music is killing the Show softly with its song. A rift in the tear in the fabric of the universe's blankey makes kids cry silently into their pillow filling it up with the salty tears of childhood pain along with Jesus's foreskin. Ancient relics are debunked including the Shroud of Bozo proving he had only had one arm having previously been chewed off after a drunken tryst. Looking for it makes it disappear. Do Evil Scientists exist? The dangers of picking up hitchhikers with an un-de-beaked prairie squid in the back seat. The callers are repetitive and indistinct yet still there. Dr. Hal and Philo elaborate ambiguous sales techniques and arcane ending formulas. The Puzzling Evidence Radio Show podcast. It has all the Big Red Johnson of a heaving m'muh radio show podcast compilation. But their diction is too good and they are all three too handsome and mature to be allowed to leave.
June 10, 2020
I Almost Dishonered My Pants - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S3E1
Boss Stang A Short Story by Little Philo Drummond Ivan Stang had always hated Dobbstown's pobuckery Main Kitchen with its dangerous, deadly, bloody Knife Cellar. But it was a place where he felt threatened yet relaxed. He was a bossy, incredulous, hot buttered rum martini drinker with giant stinky armpits and midgety butt cheeks. His friends saw him as a salty, cantankerous old skull farmer. Once, he had even made a cup of tea for the Giant Nutsack. That's the kindly sort of man he was. Ivan walked over to the window and reflected on his dark and dank surroundings. The rain hammered like rabid thinking polecats. Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Dr. Hal Owwll. Dr. Hal was a snooty animal with scrawny stinky armpits and micro-cephalic but lumpy butt cheeks. Ivan gulped. He was not prepared for deadly Dr. Hal. As Ivan stepped outside and Dr. Hal came closer, he could see the annoying glint in his eye. Dr. Hal glared with all the wrath of 5,944 peculiarly angry chupacabras. He muttered under his breath, in hushed tones yet incredibly audible, "I still want a sacred t-shirt." Ivan looked back, even more blissful but still fingering the eazor-sharp sword while eyeballing Dr. Hal's ample neck. "Dr. Hal, please take the sourdough out of the fridge," he replied. They looked at each other with contemplative feelings, like two gigantic, grieving gerbils fropping at a very rude Annual Work Review, which had rockabilly music playing in the background and two thoughtful broom-toting uncles sweeping to the beat. Ivan regarded Dr. Hal's scrawny stinky armpits and micro-cephalic butt cheeks. "I feel the same way!" revealed Ivan with a delighted grin. Shyly, Dr. Hal looked grumpy, his emotions blushing red like a just mis-used razor sharp pocketknife. Then Dr. Hal came inside for a nice drink of hot buttered rum martini. THE END Praise for Boss Stang "I feel like I know Ivan Stang. In a way, it feels as though I've always known him."- The Daily Tale "About as enjoyable as being hailed on whilst taking in washing that has been targeted by seagulls with the drizzling shits."- Enid Kibbler "Saying the rain hammered like rabid thinking polecats is just the kind of literary device that makes this brilliant."- Hit the Spoof "I could do better."- Zob Gloop
May 25, 2020
Lasering The Dissidents - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S2E10
The night of the X-Day changes everything for Puzzling Evidence, a 77-year-old Show Host from Dobbstown. One moment, he is discussing cheeses with his wealthy Uncle, Philo Drummond; the next, watching with horror as reprehensible Bobbies grundle each other. He knows these Bobbies came from Mountain Home but he can't prove it - at least not without some poisonous phonebooks. The Puzzling Evidence Radio Show on KPFA. This one has only 1 hr. 25 mins hours of a 5 hour show. So to say it is a five-hour show would be a flat out lie+. The Puzzling Evidence Radio Show on KPFA. It has all the spacesuits of a well stocked Starship. But the suits are too loose and smell like somebody got sick in them.
May 12, 2020
We've Crossed Over The Line - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S2E9
Dr. Hal continues to demonstrate extreme Speed-Sleeping, Puzzling and Philo frop until almost 4:00am. The callers are starting to adapt. Puzzling's mix from HOS X-Days past mashed-up their faces as to make carbon-dating practically impossible. SHOCK SHOW: Dr. Hal, Philo and Puzzling decide just to throw down the gauntlet and to go all the way to wall with the callers. The Puzzling Evidence Radio Show on KPFA. It has all the gonads of a well hung radio show. But the pants are too tight and cramp our style hence the pantsless approach the ladies like.
May 12, 2020
Attention Car Buyers - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S2E8
The Puzzling Evidence Radio Show on KPFA. It has all the parts of a groundbreaking radio show. But the parts belong to a 1960 Rambler and we're gonna sell 'em on E-Bay and get rich. Tonight, the callers are pro-actively non-existent. Then Dr. Hal demonstrates extreme Sleep-Speaking, Puzzling and Philo GROK until almost 4:00am. Then the callers become repetitive and indistinct. The Puzzling Evidence Radio Show on KPFA. It has all the stench of a fartbreaking radio show. But the farts belong to a ghost and we're gonna fry 'em for breakwindfast.
May 12, 2020
Our Mission Statement - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S2E7
The Show immediately goes rogue and starts out teasing "The Boys" by disassembling itself and hiding the important parts under the board. The Boys spend many fruitless seconds researching alternate locations of the recalcitrant Show parts. Then when it gets too hot, the Show starts crying like a little girl and extinguishes the fire with its tears. But why do they keep talking to this "Steve" guy? The Puzzling Evidence Radio Show on KPFA. It has all the legs of a spider show. But the legs are too long and make it hard to walk through doorways without turning sideways. Get your red hot SubGenius Skull Farming Tree Walking Brain Socket Doktors Improvisational Live Radio Show Streaming Consciouslessness Live 12 Inch Radio Frop here!
May 12, 2020
It's The Show Eeeewwww - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S2E6
Philo, Puzzling and Hal tell the tale of "drugs and sales" to provide a partial history of sacks and bags; Inhibiting Factor describes his Hot Rod while Callers try to redirect the Show. Incredulity gives way to mundaninity. Puzz Ev re-lectures the callers. The Boys steel themselves for Dream Fluff disappointment again (particularly for Philo's progeny). The Callers vote to start a riot in order to get free donuts. The Boys attempt to lay existential blame while climbing with Monte on Mt. Mount. Homework assignment: Basque whistling. Get your red hot SubGenius Skull Farming Tree Walking Brain Socket Doktors Improvisational Live Radio Show Streaming Consciouslessness Live 12 Inch Radio Frop here!
May 12, 2020
We're Understaffed - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S2E5
Puzz Ev uncovers a legend about a cursed, tattered sandwich circulating throughout Dobbstown. As soon as anyone uses the sandwich, he or she has exactly 399 days left to live. It makes a person feel like a hairy maggot to touch OR a giant gerbil balancing on a newspaper headline about a crocodile taming accident OR a hooded ostrich ranting about eyebrows. Puzzling notices his warts also have magic properties, he realizes that the curse of the tattered sandwich is true and calls in his guru, J.R."Bob" Dobbs, to help. "Bob" examines the sandwich and willingly joins the queue for a supernatural death. Puzzling and "Bob" pursue a quest to uncover the meaning of the visions. Will Brad Dexter be able to stop the curse before their time is up?
May 10, 2020
A Race of Lazy Mice - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S2E4
Philo had always loved Dobbstown with its freshly-landed Flying Saucers. It was a place where he felt thoughtless; a trustworthy, misaligned, whisky drinker with a massive butt and too-tall nuts. His friends saw him as a sticky saint. Once, he had even revived a dying, old baby toddler. That's the sort of man he was. Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of L'il G'Broagfran Schmidlap. L'il G'Broagfran was an energetic coward with porcine butt and emaciated nuts. Philo stepped outside, L'il G'Broagfran glared with all the wrath of 9,979 nervous bright Bespectacled Cave Things. He said, in hushed tones, "I hate you and I want revenge." Philo looked back, even more like a dumbass, still fingering the doughnut. They looked like two hoglike uncles grundeling to the beat. THE END
May 05, 2020
I Believe What I Need To - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S2E3
In search of Pink infestations, Puzzling Evidence surprises even himself with his mind-over-matter tricks and skill as a Jerk Botherer. Ensconced, Puzzling rescues a 7-Bladed Windbreaker, an heirloom stolen by Bishop Joey. When Bishop refuses to try napping, Puzzling balks. However, Bishop is wounded at the Battle of the 12 Idiots and the two reconcile just before Puzzling engages in some serious competitive napping. 'My name is Dr. Hal,' said the Giant. 'I come from Paris. I was attacked by a group of Conspiracy Dupes. At least 7000 surrounded me".
May 05, 2020
Zoltan No Worries Fear Pain - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S2E2
Whilst investigating the death of a local supervisor, a courageous muleskinner named Philo Drummond uncovers a legend about a supernaturally-cursed, weathered gun circulating throughout Antarctica. As soon as anyone uses the gun, he or she has exactly 199 days left to live. The doomed few appear to be ordinary people during day to day life, but when photographed, they look shadowy. A marked person feels like a blasted dogfish to touch. Philo gets hold of the gun, refusing to believe the superstition. A collage of images flash into his mind: a stoned catfish balancing on a wasted supervisor, an old newspaper headline about an intentional accident, a hooded lion fish ranting about armpit and a drinking well located in an invisible place. When Philo notices his ass has dogfish-like properties, he realizes that the curse of the weathered gun is true and calls in his pal, a gravedigger called Ivan Stang, to help. Ivan examines the gun and willingly submits himself to the curse. He finds that the same visions flash before his eyes. He finds the stoned catfish balancing on a wasted supervisor particularly chilling. He joins the queue for a supernatural death. Philo and Ivan pursue a quest to uncover the meaning of the visions, starting with a search for the hooded lion fish. Will they be able to stop the curse before their time is up?
May 04, 2020
Just The Darkness - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S2E1
Dr. Hal conversing with his Aunt Bertha; "Auntie, what do you think of contented noses?" "Er... I don't know dear." "What about my tender lid? Some say its like a scrawny dog." "Um..." "Do you think my feathers are like an ugly teapot?" "Where on earth did you hear a thing like that?" "Philo says that my top is like a hilly newspaper that likes singing admiringly whilst waving its toenails." "That's... um... nice. Perhaps we should talk about something else now." "You know when you sat defiantly? I heard Puzzling Evidence thinking." "Oh look, a squirrel!"
May 04, 2020
Turn Your Radio On Now - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S1E10
This show starts amicably enough when our knife-happy hero, Philo, wakes up in a magical cornfield. After a nice breakfast of fresh corn, a deranged caller suddenly challenges the Boys to a rumble. Out of nowhere, Hal laughs mockingly. Detailing their brutal response, Philo slaps a dangerous oil-soaked marmot, mutilates a shoe, and monitors a previously unknown appendage. PuzzEv just laughs and tosses the vaunted Golden Turd into a box of ninja stars and slides the box behind his canoe for safe keeping until needed sometime in the indeterminate future under an old blanket of his own original design.
May 04, 2020
Others Were Peaking - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S1E9
During a worldwide budget defecate shortage, Dr. Hal and Philo deconstruct a Sick Indian Death Artisans' Jewel-laden Mammal-like Owlish beaked so-called insult to nature while ensconced in their fungus shrouded cushions and sipping hot toddies. Then they bust out real hard on poor old John Hancock. Meanwhile, touchingly, Puzzling reveals a secret hidden marmot and teaches an important lesson on forgotten history. Suddenly, Philo demands that the marketing department supply ALL 4 P's as budgeted.
May 04, 2020
Don't Need The Whole Opera - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S1E8
Phantom limbs have been turning up all over Berkeley and the callers are scared. 10 murders in 2 weeks, all committed with a Hemorrhoid Gun, and still no clues. Puzzling "Bob" Evidence is a happy go lucky radio cult leader with a fondness for Frog Storms. When his Uncle Philo is kidnapped, Puzzling finds himself thrown into the center of the investigation. His only clue is a massive Hemorrhoid. He enlists the help of a brave radio show co-host Dr. Howll and his bag of useless superpowers. Can Dr. Howll help Puzzling "Bob" overcome his Slack addiction before the killer and his deadly Hemorrhoid Gun strike again? You must listen to find out!
May 04, 2020
Genesis Chapter 6 Verse 42.5 - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S1E7
The Boys took turns reading the entire Bible loudly while Puzzling Evidence suspected something was a off when his callous uncle Philo tried to club him at the age of 6. Nevertheless, he lived a relatively normal life among other "humans". When he bumped into the malicious yeti, Dr. Hal, his life finally began to make sense. However, Dr. Hal seemed to have an unhealthy obsession with biting people. Puzzling soon learnt that Dr. Hal had taken an oath never to smell a human. When Puzzling's callous uncle Philo is injured in a crocodile taming accident, Puzzling finds himself falling for a yeti. Dr. Hal will decide whether he kills or protects her. A gremlin appears before Puzzling and warns him of a darkness within Dr. Hal. and gives Puzzling the tattered sphygmomanometer, the only weapon that can defeat a yeti.
May 04, 2020
Watergate Remembered - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S1E6
Puzzling Evidence had always loved infested Turdwallowton with its determined, dry ditches. It was a place where he felt doubtful. He was a raunchy, interminable, Hot buttered rum martini drinker with a hairy ass and bald elbows. His friends saw him as a grieving, grim giant squid. Once, he had even helped a disgusted giant toddler cross the road. That's the sort of man he was. Puzzling walked over to the window and reflected on his dank surroundings. The hailstones teased like cavorting kangaroos. Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Philo Drummond. Philo was a moldable brute with fat ass and skinny elbows. Puzzling gulped. He was not prepared for Philo. As Puzzling stepped outside and Philo came closer, he could see the brainy glint in his eye. Philo gazed with the affection of 7543 greasy sharp swordfish. He said, in hushed tones, "I want some more Facebook friends." Puzzling looked back, even more torpid and still fingering the heavy knife. "Philo, I admire your Brow," he replied. They looked at each other with sneaky feelings, like two green, grisly giant gnats gallavanting at a very invisible funeral, which had trance music playing in the background and two insipid uncles lollygagging to the beat. Puzzling regarded Philo's fat ass and skinny elbows. "I feel the same way!" revealed Puzzling with a delighted grin. Philo looked forthright, his emotions blushing like a repulsive, rough rock. Then Philo came inside for a nice drink of Hot buttered rum martini. THE END
May 04, 2020
We're Gonna Be Your Power - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S1E5
I used to be a computer technician on pirate ship, with my statue, until the plague, thought Philo. When that man, that Puzzling Evidence with his thing of obsession, and his hideous tome and putrid canine feces chapeau. Dr. Hal was the enemy of ignorance when the callers died for our faith, and that's when everything went wrong. "It was just supposed to be a a simple hyperspace beacon but Dr. Drummond might be stuck as a boy forever, and that's when the murders begin." mused Dr. Hal. And that's when they brought in the secret flesh activated bombs shaped like cupcakes.
April 30, 2020
Hello That's All He Might Say - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S1E4
It all started when our (former porn) star, Puzzling Evidence, woke up in a hyena-infested moor. It wasn't the first time it had happened. Feeling alarmingly stunned, Puzzling Evidence stroked a wolverine, with little or no succor. A few unfulfilling decades later, he realized that his beloved Vintage Walkman was missing! Immediately he called his parole officer, Dr. Howll who had to make an unscheduled stop at IHOP to pick up Philo at his cult headquarters corner booth. Puzzling Evidence stared at Dr. Howll for six nanoseconds. Unaware of the bleakness of existence, Dr. Howll groped exotically toward the Walkman.
April 30, 2020
In The Arctic - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S1E3
The the Boys flip the trip-tick dip-switch next to the Dipwytch dip-stick on the good stuff. Callers weigh-in on seemingly endless unmemorable non-topics as they battle over supremacy of the shallow end of the caller pool. Question Girl gets a few questions in.Get your red hot Subgenius Skull Farming Tree Walking Brain Socket Doktors Improvisational Live Radio Show Streaming Consciouslessness Live 12 Inch Radio Frop here! OK, you've been warned, DON'T FLIP OUT!!!
April 30, 2020
Use Your Brain as Taught - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S1E2
After the safety break, Dr. Howll and Philo's attempts to scuttle the ensuing pseudo-new-age downer mood prove fruitless and pulls them both into a miasma of touchy feeliness. As the downwardly spiraling vortex begins to coalesce, the boys desperately inject it with heavy doses of SubGenius Obfuscation. But will it work? Can the Show be restored to its former irrelevance without letting go of its incipient insouciance? You be the judge!
April 29, 2020
All Clean First New Show - A Puzzling Evidence Podcast - S1E1
'...What's that smell?' Philo felt a stabbing pain in his taint when Puzzling asked this. Philo calmly assured him that most albino cats sigh before mating, yet South American hissing sloths usually flamboyantly yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Puzzling Evidence because he had found Puzzling's tape deck only 5 days prior. It all started when our host, Puzzling Evidence, woke up in a lemur-infested moor. It was the 5th time this week. Feeling ridiculously concerned, Puzzling stroked a potato, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not).
April 29, 2020