Pod at the Montecito: A "Las Vegas" Watchalong
By Judson Clark and Eddie McCarthy
Pod at the Montecito: A "Las Vegas" WatchalongDec 29, 2023
84. Face Licking to Combat Shrinkage (S4E11)
In the words of the poet, we fucking did it. Las Vegas has finally come to Peacock, literally the very minute that this episode dropped. In fact, were you to say that's the very reason this episode did drop, you'd be right!
This audio has been in the can since late April and I, the latest in a long line of producers, was given short notice and none of the old tools and tricks. So uhhh... enjoy?
In this episode of the hit NBC and motherfucking Peacock show Las Vegas, the security boys try to root out grift, Mary tries to sell a condo, and Sam tries to get Polly back with her man. Your boys record a live drunk ramble to cover up the fact that their ramble from 8 months ago was woefully out of date, make College Football Playoff Committee-esque head-to-head debates, and generally ruin your podcast player of choice.
Email podatthemontecito@gmail.com or catch us on social media @MontecitoPod using the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock -- once more, with feeling.
83. An All-Expenses Paid Trip to the Bad Judgement Zone (S4E10)
On this episode of the hit NBC television show Las Vegas, lapses of judgement abound as fully half the crew scores a few own goals when Big Ed's inexplicable former protégé, Delinda's former friend, and Danny's former fuck buddy parachutes into town with her new husband. Speaking of that motherfucker, a second Jud(d) enters the octagon and it's bad news for all involved. Lastly, never forget what they say, if there's hilariously overreaching foreshadowing in the first act, Chekov's going to make you eat crow by the musical denouement.
Tweet at your dumb hosts @MontecitoPod using the hashtags #LasVegas4Peacock and #GetCoziWithVegas or by emailing them at podatthemontecito@gmail.com. Especially reach out if you have concrete examples of very specific treadmill scenes.
82. A Saggy Boob Rumspringa (S4E09)
On this episode of the hit NBC television show Las Vegas, we return to a familiar set -- the wine cellar -- where we meet a one-off sommelier. Elsewhere, whales are upset when some retirees hit the topless pool, a whale would be upset if he realized he had a doppelganger, and Danny's upset because Delinda is enjoying some battery-powered self care. Most troubling, though, there's an unprosecuted case of stolen wine valor that your boys just can't abide.
Speaking of those idiots, one of them tries to improperly pronounce a national treasure dead, they both try to ascertain whether there's a worse pop culture best friend than post-valet Mike, and they contemplate what it must be like to just casually buy a $100,000 bottle of wine based on an article read online. You can email the boys at podatthemontecito@gmail.com or tweeter them @MontecitoPod (for now) using the hashtags #LasVegas4Peacock and/or #GetCoziWith Vegas. If you're confused as to the uncertainty of the release schedule, we urge you to check out special episode 81.2! Byyyyyyyyyyyyye!
81.2 A Quick Update (We're Not Shutting Down!)
Your boys are coming to you with an update on the podcast. The long and short of it is, the podcast isn't going away (producer's note: fuck me, I guess I'm trapped here) but we are having to slow the pace. Pandemic project has run head long into the real world and professional obligations are very spicy right now.
We're planning to go at least through episode 501 to complete James Caan's run on the show, and perhaps longer. But our cadence will be a bit uneven for the time being. But we aren't going to ghost you.
We apologize for that and if you need to move on to greener podcast pastures, we will completely understand. This isn't ideal for anyone. Tweeter us @MontecitoPod, mailer us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com, or tell James Lesure to get a message to us.
81. Any Port in a Yard-Long Margarita Storm (S4E08)
TRIGGER WARNING: This episode discusses child abuse which is mentioned but not depicted in the episode of Las Vegas. If you or someone you know has been the victim of child abuse, please make use of the resources available, including at childwelfare.gov.
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On this episode of the hit NBC television show Las Vegas, a heat wave hits Neon City, a crime wave hits Danny, and a death wave continues to hit Sam. With Christmas in the air, so too is horniness for Santa and various religious leaders (ask Mike about that one). And one of our favorite recurring characters is back to discuss penile condiments.
Your lovable co-hosts have completely gone off their rockers as they discuss one of the sadder episodes of the television show. They have important notes on how to die in Vegas, when to give a puppy as a gift, allergy-induced penis enlargement, and chiplead human centipedes. There's a lot to unpack here. Email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com or tweet at us @MontecitoPod using the hashtags #LasVegas4Peacock and #GetCoziWithLasVegas. Two things not to do, though: use histamines on your genitals and bother James Lesure.
80. Mutually Assured Anka Destruction (S4E07)
On this episode of the hit NBC television show Las Vegas, some mobsters show up at the Montecito not caring that they're on the hit NBC television show The Blacklist and therefore not able to step onto the premises, but they're allowed to stay since they bought a $1 million wedding package. Wayne Newton and Big Ed have a disagreement over whether or not Wayne should have recorded the extra stroke or two that we all know he took. And Danny's dancing threatens to bring the whole affair to an end if some minibar ginger ale crimes don't beat him to it.
Your hosts debate the merits of aluminum versus steel and create some McKee Key-adjacent controversy while promising to turn this goddamned car around if Paul Anka shows up. You can email the idiots at podatthemontecito@gmail.com or tweet at them (for at least a little while longer!) @MontecitoPod using the hashtags #LasVegas4Peacock and #GetCoziWithLasVegas. Catch up on episodes of Las Vegas on Cozi TV, airing for three hours every night, but whatever you do, don't tell James Lesure about it -- he'd rather you be invested in the Rookieverse.
79. A Golfer, A Monk, and a Lunatic Walk Into an Episode (S4E06)
On this episode of the hit NBC television show Las Vegas, Ed is saved but Delinda is still in the wind and Danny will do whatever the bachelor party requires to bring her back alive. Sam has kicked her two shitty whales to the curb, but it turns out the shittiness has rubbed off on her when an urban legend comes to Neon City. And the Montecito staff gets food poisoning from the mall food court, leaving Mary to fill in across a variety of roles.
Your lovable idiots harness the McCarthy clusterfuck while weighing the merits of living a life of monastic discipline in exchange for finding the win button. You can connect with these morons on Twitter @MontecitoPod using the hashtags #LasVegas4Peacock and/or #GetCoziWithLasVegas or email them at podatthemontecito@gmail.com. If he asks, tell James Lesure we told you to leave him alone.
78. Delinda's Kidnapper Eats Pieces of Shit Like You for Breakfast (S4E05)
On this high stakes episode of the hit NBC television show Las Vegas, Ed is forced to do Shooter McGavin's bidding in an effort to recover his kidnapped daughter, Sam has to babysit some childish and idiotic whales, and Mary is back to her "good" brand of idiocy when she unveils a mascot for the Montecito.
Your boys, meanwhile, discuss the required economics of kidnap and murder, evaluate the next-step-reasonableness of the dry hump, and get dramatically wrong how at least one of their Christmases turned out (fuck you, Southwest Airlines). And don't tell them, but your lowly Producer tries to make an entire episode out of Happy Gilmore drops.
Twitter us @MontecitoPod using the hashtags #LasVegas4Peacock and #GetCoziWithLasVegas or electronically mail us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com. Just remember two things: leave James Lesure alone and fuck Southwest Airlines forever. Happy New Year, folks, and we'll see you in 2023!*
*Probably, but I suppose you never know.
77. More Than Three Ounces of Spreadable Stradivarius (S4E04)
On this episode of the hit NBC television show Las Vegas, Ed and Delinda go Shawshanking when a bunch of guest possessions go missing, Delinda goes dumpster filling to make a bunch of Danny's possessions go missing, Woody and Jordan crossover when the life of a murder victim goes missing from its body, and Mike makes us wish he went missing when a prized rat goes missing.
Your co-hosts wonder why they built the entire episode out of landmines, discuss the degree to which the New York Giants can fuck themselves, and live out the parable of the scorpion and the frog. Feel free to email them at podatthemontecito@gmail.com, tweet at them @MontecitoPod using the hashtags #LasVegas4Peacock and/or #GetCoziWithLasVegas, or generally shout at them through the black mirror of your podcast listening device of choice.
76. Assertiveness Wind Sprints (S4E03)
Spoiler alert: we discuss Santa Claus in this episode.
On this episode of the hit NBC (and Cozi!) television show "Las Vegas," Danny and Delinda think it's time to discuss cohabitation, Sam learns she has a debt collection kink, a gold-digging wife wants Ed to teach her husband to insist he be called Ishmael, and our resident bottom feeder misunderstands the etymology of the "tight five."
Your co-hosts (both with the proper audio for a change!) get into a Spirited discussion of Santa, relive the details of their recent Thanksgiving, and needle each other with painful wordplay. You can email the fellas at podatthemontecito@gmail.com, connect with them on Twitter (for now, at least!) @MontecitoPod using the hashtags #LasVegas4Peacock and #GetCoziWithLasVegas. But while Twitter may be embracing free speech without responsibility, you still have the responsibility for leaving James Lesure out of this... whatever "this" may be.
75. Leather Jacket Jealousy (S4E02)
Quick heads up before we get into the jokes -- there was a fuck up and Judson's audio is a nightmare. It sounds like he's on a cell phone. Don't blame the producer, this is entirely on him. But we apologize greatly.
Aside from that, on this episode of the hit NBC television show Las Vegas, Big Ed does some globe-trotting, Danny and Delinda do some fucking, and Sam does a bunch of low-stakes criming. **** is also in this episode.
Your boys are fighting through the pain (and thereby inflicting upon you), wishing they could pull of the leather jacket look, and hoping that **** gets shot into the sun where she belongs. If you promise not to complain about the audio quality, you can email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com or tweet at us (for now! Who knows what Elon's going to do next?) @MontecitoPod using the hashtags #LasVegas4Peacock and #GetCoziWithLasVegas (what do y'all think about this?). If you insist on complaining about the audio quality, tell James Lesure about it, we understand he can't wait to block you.
74. A Soupcon of Decomposing Titties (S4E01)
On this episode of the hit NBC (and now Cozi TV!) television show "Las Vegas", Ed recovers from a gunshot wound, heart attack, and/or concussion, just in time to flee the CIA. Danny and Delinda try to figure out what's next for the relationship against the backdrop of Mary's lunacy. And Sam ends up in a Hawaiian luau when she discovers a whale of hers feasting far too close to a dead stripper.
Your boys discuss the merits of leaving your partner and child penniless at the hands of a Legal Zoom-ass will, the minimum distance requirement between fried chicken and a corpse, and make at least one too many attempts at getting the other person to leave the podcast once and for all.
"Las Vegas" is now airing 3 episodes a night, every night, on Cozi TV which, they claim, is now in 90% of American households, so that's exciting. Email the fellas at podatthemontecito@gmail.com or hit them up on Twitter @MontecitoPod using the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock. And make sure you send them (and not James Lesure) your ideas for a Cozi TV hashtag.
73. The Highest of Water Marks - A Conversation with Gary Scott Thompson
From the lows of the audio quality on the first ten episodes, to a power outage in Santa Monica, everything has been building up to this, a conversation with Gary Scott Thompson. And if you don't listen to another episode, we honestly wouldn't blame you. Hell, we seriously considered going out on top with this one.
BUT! Should you decide to stick around, we would be remiss to not point out that Cozi TV is now airing episodes of Las Vegas -- three of them, each night, every night. That means that every five weeks, the show will repeat. It's no on-demand streaming, but it's something! T's & P's for those of you who can't access Cozi TV, it might be time for you to move or switch television providers.
You can reach us on Twitter @MontecitoPod using the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock and... #GetCoziWithVegas? Look, I'm the editor, not the social media manager, and that dude's a fuck up. Email us at PodAtTheMontecito@gmail.com with the subject line "Get A More Responsive Social Media Manager". And load up your DVR with that good, good Cozi.
72. Mitch's Morning After (S3E23)
On this episode of the hit NBC television show "Las Vegas" the countdown is on for Delinda and Derek's nuptials, sending everyone into a tizzy -- Danny and Delinda get awfully lipsy, Mary seeks the optimal stripper-to-attendee ratio, Sarasvati is about to explode, and Sam reveals the way to heart. Oh and the CIA is in town!
Your co-hosts decided to hit the sauce this episode, so don't feel if you stop listening halfway through. Judson uses stan correctly for the first time, Eddie learns the perils of not writing your dumb jokes ahead of time, and both learn that the real podcast friend was the terrible edit you made along the way. Connect with these loveable (they claim) doofuses on Twitter @MontecitoPod using the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock. You can also email them at podatthemontecito@gmail.com. And failing that, you can probably get their attention with a bottle of whiskey.
71. Danny Dreams of a Different Desert to Dodge his Destiny (S3E22)
**SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT**
There may or may not be a special guest on the Season 3 retrospective and he or she may or may not have specifically requested listeners submit questions for him or her. This means you! Email them or tweet them at us!
On this episode of the hit NBC television show "Las Vegas" everyone is doing some fucking except Danny, including people who aren't even on the show -- looking at you Ali G and Sasha Grey! Woody's in town, but not for long, as he flies in from Boston only to have to suffer the cold with Samantha Jane. And Derek's in town, but not for long, because he wants to get fist deep in someone's alongside Captain Picard.
Your idiot co-hosts pitch a new David Duchovny series, consider turning into crypto bros, and explain what the term "RIP" actually stands for. Reach out to these morons on Twitter @MontecitoPod and use the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock. Or you could email them at podatthemontecito@gmail. Whatever you do, don't ask James Lesure if you can borrow his Season 4 DVDs. Buy your own.
70. Oh Danny Boy, the NGC, the NGC is Calling (S3E21)
**SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT** Listen to the first part of the show. Like, for real. Don't skip through it like you normally do. You know who you are.
On this episode of the hit NBC television show "Las Vegas," Ed goes out of town with Jillian, leaving Danny in charge which means, you guessed it, shit goes off the rails almost immediately. A racist, chauvinistic whale wants to play blackjack for a million dollars a hand, a soon-to-be Mad Woman has an investment opportunity involving a waterfall she'd like to discuss with you, and Derek decides that the time is right to shake up the Etch-a-Sketch.
Your hosts discuss the airspeed of an unladen swallow, rip into some folks for dumping the contents of their Rom Com backpack all over the floor, and lay down the lawn with an unsuspecting listener or listeners. It might be you, so pay attention. Connect with these lovable idiots via email at podatthemontecito@gmail.com or Twitter @MontecitoPod using the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock.
69. Khia-tucky Fried Chicken (S3E20)
On this episode of the hit NBC television show Las Vegas, paralyzed Superman takes his employees on a corporate retreat to... paintballing? Back at the office, Big Ed is interviewing for a spot on the Security and Surveillance team that looks like a cross between Office Space and BUD/S training. And lest we forget, Danny gets his willy slick by dipping his pen in the Montecito ink.
Your boys discuss some interpretive karaoke choices and attempt to survive Draft Day at Montecito Night. I say attempt because Eddie drafts Sam over Mary and then benches Sam for Mary, so... Engage with the fellas on Twitter @MontecitoPod using the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock or email them at podatthemontecito@gmail.com. Just whatever you do, don't dip leftover stranger fries into leftover stranger dip, okay?
PROGRAMMING NOTE: Season 3 Retrospective coming up in late September, so get in your questions and/or comments if you want them read on the show.
68. Farewell to a Legend (S3E19)
Our hearts are sick about the recent passing of James Caan. The legendary actor has left a lasting impression on all of us at Pod at the Montecito, and we're sure you feel the same way.
Compounding our misery, this episode is a real tire fire. The Montecito has gunk in its ducts and a theft problem in its residential suites. Mary has to deal with an obnoxious photographer who may be stealing things, but is certainly stealing our will to live. And Jillian returns, only to spend the episode obsessed with a love guru who wants to destroy the institution of marriage from the inside.
Your hosts break out their grade school math mnemonics, roast some crypto bros, and have a pitch for a large movement. Is it a bowel movement? A political movement? Only time will tell. Connect with your lovable idiots on Twitter @MontecitoPod using the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock or via email at podatthemontecito@gmail.com.
Rest in peace, James Caan, you'll be sorely missed.
67. A Mormon Soaking Opportunity (S3E18)
On this episode of the hit NBC television show "Las Vegas," the MCFTF has to split their focus to stop a card counting scheme awfully reminiscent of a New York Times Bestselling book. A ship bukkake is headed for the Montecito in the form of an extravagant wedding, but when the dress goes missing, but the MCFTF B-team is on the case, when it's not trying to get its dick wet... yeah, it's Mike. Obviously it's Mike.
Your co-hosts rewrite the Montecito jingle, share makeup tips for the blackjack table, but most importantly: it's the return of Gambling Pedantry Corner™! Engage with the boys on Twitter @MontecitoPod and by using the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock, or by emailing them at podatthemontecito@gmail.com. Just leave James Lesure out of it. Indiscretion may be our brand promise, but it isn't his.
66. Schrodinger's Sous-Chef (S3E17)
On this episode of the hit NBC television show Las Vegas, a chip thief knows a click-clack guy who heard a guy say he was going to do something or other on a day in the future... maybe. One employee goes the extra mile by picking up a shift at knock-off In 'n' Out and another by attempting to get fingerblasted by a masseuse. And Delinda sets up a head-to-head cooking competition between two of her chefs, one of which is an unhinged Austrian, and the other is Gunther.
Your exceedingly sophisticated co-hosts discuss the merits of dragging a handcuffed person down the Strip, long for the days of being peppered with flyers by click-clack artists, and contemplate the headache that is moderating the NCIS: LA wikia. Connect with your boys on Twitter @MontecitoPod using the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock or by emailing them at podatthemontecito@gmail.com. Just keep your Oreo shakes to yourself, will ya?
65. Ay Caramba (S3E16)
On this episode of "Las Vegas," Norma is back and finds herself sucking on a stranger's finger while at the Montecito's buffet, which sends Big Ed and Danny into crisis mode. Mike leads a no-longer-shockingly inept investigation into the matter, while Sam and Delinda find out that the Whale of the Week likes to be dominated by women.
Your boys got the title of the episode wrong, so you know it's going to be a good one. But they did find comfort in getting confirmation that Danny did, in fact, play football. Lastly, this show asks the hard-hitting questions that are on everyone's mind, like: does eating a finger help your eyesight like eating raw carrots does?
Engage with us on Twitter @MontecitoPod using the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock. Or email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com. Just don't give us the finger, that's rude.
64. Seeking a Smegmaless Transaction (S3E15)
On this episode of the hit NBC television show Las Vegas, Danny forgets one of the core tenets of Training Day and risks it all to right a renal wrong; Sam and Ed need a poncho as a 5-star whale comes to town, bringing with him a mobile splash zone; and a nightmare of a palindrome-adjacent C-story drives your co-hosts to the brink.
Speaking of those lovable idiots, they discuss root canal trauma, when and how to flex obscene wealth, and red flag hotel requests. Connect with these morons on Twitter @MontecitoPod using the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock or shoot them an email at podatthemontecito@gmail.com. But if you expect electronic glad-handing out of them, make sure your digital* palms are dry, please.
* Get it? Digital palms? Digits? As in your fingers? Fuck you, that was funny.
63. "And" Here's Monica, Still Fucking Things Up (S3E14)
On this episode of the hit NBC television show "Las Vegas", Monica is back making life difficult for Big Ed and the Montecito, just not in ghost form this time. Danny's old drill sergeant/sargento also shows up to make Danny's life difficult. And peanuts show up to try and kill a local meteorologist.
One of your co-hosts has taken the nominative determinism thing a little too far and the other one thinks Kenny G has traded his saxophone for loan sharking. This is the podcast that reminds you to always keep your head on a swivel during bar fights, especially if the speed rail is involved. Email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com or connect with us on Twitter @MontecitoPod using the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock.
62. Who Ya Gonna Call? Hotel Maintenance (S3E13)
In this episode of the hit NBC television show "Las Vegas," ghosts would be haunting the hotel, if only ghosts were real. Additionally, Delinda gets blackmailed by a health inspector while Sam might lose her casino host cage match against a pretentious Brit.
Your co-hosts discuss why Sugar Ray hates "Crossing Jordan," have an extension Pip conversation, and reignite their brutal wordplay civil war. Engage with us on Twitter @MontecitoPod using the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock and let us know what a Benito is, wrong answers only, please. Email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com, but remember: if you come at the Burger King, you best not miss.
61. Malt Liquor, But It's a Dick (S3E12)
On this episode of the hit NBC television show "Las Vegas," Mary activates the MCFTF when 40 loose diamonds go missing... virtually? Mike tries to convince the world that his dick is super small. And Big Ed demonstrates the proper way to menace someone with a cigar cutter.
Your idiot co-hosts debate the meaning of the word honor, discuss the intersection of the USGA's Rules of Golf and erogenous zones, and review proper loan shark protocols.
Help spread the word of this great/stupid podcast with some 5-star reviews! Engage with us on Twitter @MontecitoPod using the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock or by emailing us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com. Finally, remember it's Mike that has a small dick, not James Lesure. James is fucking shredded though.
60. Centrifugal Jizz (S3E11)
On this episode of the hit NBC television show "Las Vegas", a porn convention is in town and the people are a-fuckin'. The Montecito Cinematic Universe (MCU) nearly implodes in on itself again, a Woody gets pilfered, and Sam gets kicked in the beanbag.
Your hosts offer up their services for parody porn ad copy reads, discuss shall versus may clauses when it comes to oral sex, and constantly fuck up basic English words. So... pretty standard fare out of them.
Connect with us on Twitter @MontecitoPod using the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock, email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com, and leave maximally nice reviews wherever and whenever you can.
59. Toilet > Dust Devil > Bumblebee (S3E10)
In this episode of the hit NBC television show "Las Vegas," Monica dies. That's it, that's the episode.
Oh, you're still here? Okay, fine -- Danny is accused of murder, Big Ed returns, Mary grows a spine, Mike masks a boner, and more ashes get disposed of in questionable ways.
Also, your co-hosts discuss the aerodynamics of an unladen Monica, murder/fire a producer, and temporarily lose their collective minds when the time vortex comes for them.
Engage with us on Twitter @MontecitoPod and use the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock. You can email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com or just put good vibes out there, we're probably get them.
58. Monica's Really Flying Off the Handle (S3E09)
On this episode of the hit NBC television show "Las Vegas," Monica completes her final evolution to maximum villain, which Danny has had about enough of. Jake proposes to Mary and she gives him an answer he doesn't like a couple of times, since our favorite public defender can't read a room (much less a jury). And Sam robs a grave. Yep, that is a thing that happens.
Your hosts have an elaborate discussion regarding probability, have a TEDx talk about how Wall Street-style acquisitions typically do and do not go down, and are nearly joined by a guest host!
Engage with us on Twitter @MontecitoPod and by using the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock. Email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com. Leave 5-star ratings and reviews wherever you can. Seriously, check Yelp, we might be in there, who knows.
57. Sunburnt Cooter on the Las Vegas Strip (S3E08)
This time on the hit NBC television show "Las Vegas," Danny is left holding the bag when Monica loses her goddamned mind and facilitates the theft of a priceless national treasure. Mike loses his goddamned mind and spends the entire time trying to figure out how Chriss Angel does his magic tricks. And Big Ed loses his goddamned mind when he considers going into business with the MaLosers.
One of your co-hosts permanently changes how the other will view the game of baseball moving forward, they discuss the merits of Barry Frumkis, and evaluate your odds of getting hit by lightning a second time vis-à-vis the first. Connect with us on Twitter @MontecitoPod and by using the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock. You can also email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com. And please leave a 5-star review wherever you think it might be seen (assuming a maximum possible score of 5 stars; if more are available, give us that many, please).
56. Augmented Nominative Determinism (S3E07)
We're back after our holiday hiatus!
In this episode of the hit NBC television show "Las Vegas," the crew travels back to the 1960's as they run The Jubilee... well, Danny has a fever dream about that, but still. While he's in his delusion, 1960's Danny is involved in the invention of three notable developments, Big Ed adds "world's worst father" to his resume, and Sam draws the line with one of her "clients."
Your co-hosts discuss the high five and its variations, contemplate the relative ease with which we can now commit acts of jukebox terrorism on one another, and are joined by the dog of one of the co-hosts, who expresses his displeasure at something the other co-host said.
Engage with us on Twitter @MontecitoPod and use the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock. And you can, of course, email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com.
55. Wall-to-wall Unpaid Bills (S3E06)
On this episode of the hit NBC television show "Las Vegas," a pair of felons emerge from out of nowhere, without any foreshadowing or lead-up of any kind. Danny has himself a contemplative skulk while Ed spends the episode studying for a driving exam instead of doing his job. Bobby shows up for another ep and sticks his Pick Six where it doesn't belong.
Your co-hosts add to their rapidly growing "Enemy of the Pod" list, make scripted Latin puns, and possibly have a stroke on air. Pretty on brand, all things considered.
Programming note: PatM will be taking an episode off for the holidays, but you can expect the next episode to drop on January 13 as normal. During the break, you can, as always, engage with us on Twitter @MontecitoPod using the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock or email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com. See you next year!
54. Why Don't They Make the Entire Airplane Out of Foreshadowing? (S3E05)
On this episode of the hit NBC television show "Las Vegas," Big Ed has a heart condition and a bank account condition, both at the same time, and must suffer through Danny butchering his metaphors. Sam has a half-brother that she loathes show up and piss in her Cheerios. And Mike borrows and subsequently loses our heart patient's Aston Martin. Whoopsies!
Your co-hosts continue to debate whether the writers were obviously foreshadowing Penny's heel turn or if it was just blatantly foreshadowing. They finally get to the cord of the Superman horse-riding jokes. And the newly crowned Enemy of the Pod gets a lesson in why you don't go to war with a man who buys podcast ink by the digital barrel.™
Engage with us on Twitter @MontecitoPod and by using the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock. Email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com. Or stay silent as we shout at you through the internet void.
53. Under Duress of that Dick (S3E04)
On this episode of the hit NBC television show Las Vegas, the body of a man possibly killed by undercooked chicken is discovered on the grounds of the Montecito; Big Ed has to escort royalty during a competition at the resort after some dual combplay; and lots of people get trapped in lots of showers.
Your idiot hosts discuss the proper barometric pressure for walking dogs, one of the hosts declares his hatred of the other host's mother, and it's a veritable storm of canines and felines with regards to word play.
Engage with us on Twitter @MontecitoPod using the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock but leave college football the fuck out of this, BRITTANY. Email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com. Or our personal favorite, charter a jet and take your boys to Vegas.™
52. Delinda ex Machina (S3E03)
On this episode of the hit NBC television show "Las Vegas," the Woody builds a wooden frame story out of the time he stuck his wood into Sam. The MCFTF gets activated when a vicious card counter darkens the doorstep of the Montecito. And Rachael Leigh Cook is on hand to contort geography beyond recognition and fuck Danny in a stranger's home.
Your co-hosts crack up during their pre-production meeting and only kinda get it together over the course of the regular episode. Mother Nature played a Garth Brooks concert in the background of one of your host's audio feeds. And they invite Jonathan Frakes to join them in the booth.
Engage with us on Twitter @MontecitoPod and by using the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock. Email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com. Call us long distance, but only if your plan supports it.™
51. The Bowler Hat of Shame (S3E02)
In this week's episode of the hit NBC television show "Las Vegas," Mitch gets his hand caught in his own penis, Monica wants to fire someone for doing his job while wallpapering over her serial sexual harassments, and Ed and Mike struggle with the time dilation problems that have plagued your boys for the entire run of the show.
Speaking of your hosts, they struggle with terrible puns, jokes about sex acts with cremated ashes that get left on the edit bay floor, and flipping a coin. So pretty much par for the course for those jokers.
Engage with us on Twitter @MontecitoPod and use the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock. Or email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com. Or harvest DNA from a mosquito that bit a carrier pigeon and then got preserved an amber, breed carrier pigeons, and send us a carrier pigeon. What we're saying is, you have options.™
50. Trickle-Down Motown-onomics (S3E01)
It's time for the season 3 premier of the hit NBC television show "Las Vegas" and there's a LOT to talk about. The Montecito has an all-new look, most of the band has been scattered to the wind and must be collected like forgotten-about Pick-up Sticks, and there are more musical guests than you can shake one of those aforementioned sticks at.
Among other things, your co-hosts discuss the new owner's golf swing, whether or not fractional fucks can be given (spoiler alert: they can, Julia!), and offer a quick punch-up to James Caan's Twitter bio.
Follow us on Twitter @MontecitoPod and engage with us using the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock. You can also email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com, but don't try carrier pigeons, because a listener wrote in to tell us they're extinct. So how 'bout that.
49. A Deliberate Retrospringaaaaaaa (S2 Retrospective)
On the heels of an incredibly successful Emmys (apparently? I dunno, your co-hosts don't let me consume any media other than episodes of this podcast and what's required for the drops), your boys got together to discuss Season 2 of the hit NBC television show "Las Vegas." They gave out awards, answered listener feedback, and hopefully turned in a more enjoyable retrospective than last season's.
We'll be back next time with Season 3, Episode 1: "Viva Las Vegas," which means we're only 23 episodes away from our Ed having to buy another season of Big Ed on DVD. In the meantime, email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com or engage with us on Twitter @MontecitoPod and by using the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock.
And with no further ado, the Masturbatory Podcast Award goes to...
48. Merely Pip Adjacent (S2E24)
*Send in your viewer questions/comments no later than September 19, 2021!*
A whole lot of important shit and a whole lot of meaningless bullshit happens on this episode of the hit NBC television show "Las Vegas." Four different potential suitors for the Montecito are bidding for the hotel and casino, a US Marshal is running a play that will absolutely get his ass fired, and the entirety of the senior staff is having their life turned upside down.
Your hosts combat an airborne enemy, lament the bad old days of uncertain show futures, and do some demolition of their own. The next episode of the podcast will be the Season Two Retrospective™, so send in any questions/comments you want included in the episode no later than September 19, 2021. Email address is podatthemontecito@gmail.com, Twitter is @MontecitoPod, hashtag is #LasVegas4Peacock.
47. A Farewell Ride with Our Version of Aladdin (S2E23)
This time on the hit NBC television show "Las Vegas," Ed wrestles with the notion that multi-billionaire Fred Puterbaugh may join forces with evil-doers to buy the Montecito. Fortunately for some guy who is both a shitty magician and a shitty sports handicapper, the looming sale of the casino isn't enough to ruin Ed's good mood. And good news for all of us, we meet the bundle of joy that is Polly.
Your hosts try out some cooperative improv for a bit (don't worry, it didn't last), express their disapproval at the resurgence of Rom-Communism between Danny and Mary, and once again poke allegedly litigious musicians. They also hit on their next great money-making idea, but it's ™ ™ ™, so don't even think about stealing it. Featuring musical guests Steppenwolf, Sister Hazel, and Nikki Minaj (kinda).
It's not too late to get in your questions for the Season Two retrospective. Hit us up on Twitter @MontecitoPod and use the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock. You can also email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com.
46. Oops, He Means Sex Worker (S2E22)
This time on the hit NBC television show Las Vegas, Big Ed has to deliver some bad news to Danny, his Aston Martin to a used car salesman, and his credit card to his wife and daughter. Danny wins one for the gipper and then makes the world's worst introduction. And a member of the Foleytariat comes to town to engage the services of a female companion a couple counties over.
Your hosts have more than a little guffawing to do this episode but only a little bit of rhythmic glassware performance art.
Our Season Two Retrospective™ episode is coming up soon, so we are encouraging listeners to get their viewer questions/comments in no later than Sunday, August 29th! Get involved @montecitopod using the hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock or by emailing us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com.
45. An Accidental Circumspringaaaaaaa (S2E21)
On this episode of the hit NBC television show Las Vegas, the security cameras turn inward in a period of quiet introspection; Sam has to deal with a brood-like coterie of maybe-vampires; and Delinda helps her cousin zip his dick up in his pants. Your hosts don't lose any body parts, but they are slowly losing their minds, no doubt an artifact of a careless 1 space-buck wager that has permanently fucked everything up.
Interact with us on Twitter @MontecitoPod or by using the NEW and IMPROVED hashtag #LasVegas4Peacock. You can, of course, email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com. We're particularly soliciting emails for our Season Two wrap-up episode™, so hit us up, won't you?
44. Cloudy with a Chance of Improvement (S2E20)
In this episode the "Las Vegas" writers dust off a method of criming for the second (or third?) time in the short's heretofore brief run. Season 1 Mary has stuck around to team up with Mike and Delinda in a shitty romcom B-story. And Sam's desperate hunt for an unsoiled leisure suit brings us not one, but two shitty guest stars.
Your hosts are getting settled into the new release cadence and uncover a chilling confession from a noted serial killer. There's no blooper real on this one because the bloopers are left interspersed throughout like annoying seeds in shitty bread, but there is a post-credits scene nonetheless.
You can find us on Twitter @MontecitoPod and with the hashtag #LasVegasNBC. You can also email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com. I think we left that out of Patented Long-Winded Outro™ but y'all are smart people.
43. The End of One Crime Spree, the Start of Another (S2E19)
On this episode of Las Vegas, an old Marine friend of Danny's gets framed doing something he didn't do THAT time, but had done many, many other times in the past. Season One Mary is back with a vengeance, giving you a look back to the bad old days of our terrible audio quality. And when an actuary comes to the Montecito to bet his life savings on one spin of the wheel, your hosts become convinced that they're watching the origin story of Justified's Wynn Duffy.
You can connect with us on Twitter @montecitopod and use the hashtag #LasVegasNBC. Also, feel free to email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com. Don't forget to tip your dealers.™
42. Look Before You Bust (S2E18)
The MCFTF is activated in a big way and split into multiple elements, each pursuing an important mission, neither of which is only tangentially related to the casino or the result of an own goal. The Ladies, save Mary, are desperate to get on Fear Factor and Gunther has a thing for fluffy handcuffs.
There's lots to take in this episode, but make sure you don't miss the sage wisdom of the Acme Detective Agency.
Interact with us on Twitter @MontecitoPod and use the hashtag #LasVegasNBC. Email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com. Use semaphore if you want, but tell us first so that we can learn semaphore.
41. Contemptuous Swinging with Sam's Husband (S2E17)
On this week's episode, Big Ed is lucky not to be in jail for pissing off a judge, though frankly, it would get him away from a deranged Jillian, so... Mike babysits the Montecito and fucks basically everything up while Danny and Mary are off getting hit on by some horse-owning, septegenarian swingers. And one of the many actors to play Superman shows up and re-professes his love for his wife, one Samantha Jane.
Special musical guest: the Pussycat Dolls, a group which your hosts apparently know very little about. But they may have just been distracted as they had to navigate the minefield that is the volume of this week's drops, as the Producer was really feeling his oats. Neeeeighhhh.™™™
Reach out to us on Twitter @MontecitoPod using the hashtag #LasVegasNBC or email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com.
40. The House Always... Floats? (S2E16)
It's kinda-sorta Boxing Day at the Montecito, so on this week's episode, your co-hosts will stay quiet and listen to each one of you discuss this week's episode. We're kidding, of course, but it would work about as well as it did on this week's episode of "Las Vegas"!
Danny gives Nessa a run for the title of World's Worst Pit Boss. Big Ed needs to take a finance class and learn the time value of money. And Delinda finds a way to make local government even worse -- genius IQ, that one!
Get a hold of your boys on Twitter @MontecitoPod and be sure to let them know your guess as to which joke had to get cut from the pod that they can't stop laughing about. You can also email your answer to podatthemontecito@gmail.com. Top three answers win a prize.*
* - There is no prize.™
39. A Bush in the Hand is Worth Two on the Roof (S2E15)
The Montecito plays host to a pod of surprise whales and a man who got his fiancée stolen by Blue Man Group. Sam conscripts Nessa and Delinda into the role of casino host and the results are predictably disastrous. Big Ed is still fucking his OpSec in a very big way. Danny is still fucking women he barely knows. Guest starring non-linear timelines and jokes that don't make sense because the root reference was cut as part of an 8-minute bit that wasn't even a little bit funny.
Interact with your co-hosts on twitter @montecitopod or by emailing them at podatthemontecito@gmail.com. As with all of our good, good content, this shit is TM'ed as fuck.™
38. Life Lessons Left Unlearned (S2E14)
This week finds your hosts discussing yet another episode that aged extremely poorly. Danny is accused of sexual assault but absolutely no one believes the accuser. Delinda tries to fix Mystique's bottom line with a disastrous burger experiment. And Mike crushes up some blue pills he gets from an old man, snorts them, and let's Sam do pull-ups on his sex stick.
You can interact with the Montecito faithful on twitter @montecitopod and email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com. But, as always, remember that all of this good, good content is TM, TM, TM.™
TM.
37. Because the Whale is Made of Cum (S2E13)
It's unclear what got in the drinking water (editor's note: it's very clear -- whiskey) but your boys dined out on this week's episode for awhiiiiiiiiile. Your eyes do not deceive you, this runtime is atrocious. We initially thought our producer could get away with a light edit, but that quickly proved impractical. And yes, this really is only covering the one episode.
When a guest of the hotel shows up dead of an apparent suicide, Delinda insists the MCFTF look into it while she ducks out to hit the strip club with Mike's former college girlfriend. Said girlfriend is now gay and Mike is going to not at all freak out about that. Sam, before heading out to the same strip club has to manage a client that in 2005 would have seemed like a crazy germaphobe, while in 2021 appears to be woefully underprepared.
Hit us up on Twitter @montecitopod or email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com and let us know how many times you checked the time remaining on the episode before you decided, "fuck it, I'm out."
36. Failing to OpSec is OpSec'ing to Fail (S2E12)
In this week's episode, Big Ed gets kidnapped by one of the Animaniacs. Danny and Mike activate the MCFTF and manage to keep it quiet despite having absolutely no chill. One of Sam's whales is laser focused on a shitty ring and the luck that it carries. Guest starring not one, but two shitty Elvis impersonators, any of which Podcast Ed is more than willing to take on in a court of law.
Connect with us on Twitter @MontecitoPod and discuss the show using #LasVegasNBC. Email us at podatthemontecito@gmail.com but note the first one is the letters, the second one is the curly 'a' thingie.