Polyganometry

In this preposterously fun episode, former Jehovah's Witness and current stand-up comedian Colton Drake and I reveal unto the world what the view is like from the Watchtower, why in the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks J-Dubs don't celebrate birthdays, the existence of real-life NPC's, and where he thinks the Garden of Eden actually is. The answer may surprise you!

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Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com

Instagram: @plygpod

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Follow Colton!

Instagram: @coltondrakecomedy

Sept. 9th (Port Angeles) Ticket Link:

https://navalelks.ticketleap.com/comedy-night-at-the-elks/

In this front porch free-wheel, Rob, Jacob, my roommate/comedian Blade Frank, and I reveal unto the world the various conspiracy theories toted by the church, what a tithing audit looks like, and what makes the Big Bang so bangable.

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Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com

Instagram: @plygpod

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In this meeting of the minds, I sit down with former Mormons and current stand-up comics Rob Devens and Jacob "Moose" Whitmer and reveal unto the world our favorite Church Snacks (TM), harmonize on classic primary hymns, and reminisce about Fast and Testimony meeting.

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Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com

Instagram: @plygpod

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In this delightfully blunt episode, Jared and I light up some Three-Toed Pete and reveal unto the world the proper way to cultivate apathy, how he quit smoking (cigarettes) by using his self-taught technique of Internal Hate Speech, and how uncomfortable emotions indicate positive beliefs.

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Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com

Instagram: @plygpod

Facebook: facebook.com/plygpod

In this strong-language-containing episode, my ridiculously wonderful comedy pal Rob Wentz (@therealmcrobinson) pops in for a rousing chat involving local comedy (we couldn't help it), Rob's VERY loose understanding of the Bible, and an even looser description of Mormon cosmology.

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Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com

Instagram: @plygpod

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Patreon: patreon.com/plygpod

Official Photo of Joseph Smith

https://cloudfront-us-east-1.images.arcpublishing.com/sltrib/MEKQVQ4YMVGZFB4CEVQQPAW2AE.jpg

In this eclectic episode, Jared and I continue our conversation and dip further into what he describes as "Journeying;" a mindfulness practice where he fought a Japanese blade-smithing demon called a Tengu. Antelope, Wolves, Demons, oh, my! 

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Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com

Instagram: @plygpod

Facebook: facebook.com/plygpod

In this first of many biographical episodes, my Uncle Jared, his son Elijah, and I reveal unto the world his pre-birth memories, how much he detests beets, and how even Grandpa Rod knew when he was whooped. 

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Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com

Instagram: @plygpod

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In this tough-pill-to-swallow-kind-of episode, I sit down with my bestie Devon and Ol' Crumpets to discuss our thoughts, feelings, and emotions after watching the Netflix docuseries Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey; which shows the life, times, rise, and eventual fall of notorious polygamist and leader of the FLDS, Warren Jeffs. Many of my extended family members are featured, as well as [the audio of] a video in which "Uncle" Warren reveals his true feelings regarding his relationship with the Almighty. 

Feel free to reach out with any questions, comments, or concerns!

Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com

Instagram: @plygpod

Facebook: facebook.com/plygpod

Warren Jeffs in Prison: I Am Not Your Prophet I Lied

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eh9wnCcR0LE&t=1s&ab_channel=ThinkerOfThoughts

In this gin and whiskey-fueled episode, the 3 most important women in my life and I reveal unto the world how the Screamin' Eagle is possibly genetic, the nostalgic sound of the Teton Mountain Stomp, and a line-by-line dissection of the Priesthood Dress Standard. Buckle in, this one's a hoot! 

Reach out!

Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com

Instagram: @plygpod

Facebook: facebook.com/plygpod

The conversation continues between stand-up comic and fellow heathen as we reveal unto the world his experience of overnight TikTok success, the announcement of a future tour, and the pesky Smith-ocybin Theory. 

Reach out!

Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com

Instagram: @plygpod

Facebook: facebook.com/plygpod

In this lovely episode, TikTok up-and-comer Ben Brown and I reveal unto the world the real difference between a religion and cult, his work through trauma therapy, and a few pitches for polygamy-themed shows. 

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• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
• Instagram: @plygpod
• Facebook: facebook.com/plygpod

En este episodio bilingüe, mi primo hermano Josh y yo le revelamos al mundo cómo aprendió las cuerdas de la masculinidad a los cuatro años y medio, cómo conoció a su esposa en Ecuador y aquella vez que orinó en mi cama.

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• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod

Hey all you blasphemers! This sort and sweet episode features some news about the podcast's global reach, explanation for the recent hiatus, and an idea to help small businesses.

Reach out and give me those suggestions!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod

In this episode, my 1st Cousin Marissa and I reveal unto the world her struggle with mental health problems, how her little sister exfoliated with her pubes, and how she gained a new-found respect for her father.

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod

It's the Polyganometry Halloween Special! In this terrifyingly funny episode, Ol' Teabagz and I reveal unto the world a variety of stories from the early days of the Mormon Church involving demonic possession, Kenneth Copeland's knack for heavy metal music, and how speaking in tongues is probably a sign that you're of the devil. So dawn your crystals and take a long sip of your kombucha, 'cause this episode is as close to a true-crime podcast Polyganometry will ever get!  Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out! Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com Instagram: @polyganometrypod Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod

In the final part of this interview, Ol' Crumpets and I sit down with the Wet Dream King to reveal unto the world polygamy questions that he has never heard before, a challenge for Fraser to be a polygamist for a week, and how hedgehogs are somehow wild in the UK?

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod

In this somewhat sticky episode, Ol' Redcoat and I sit down with my Uncle Brady and we reveal unto the world the profound stupidity of Karl Pilkington, the benefits of starting your day at 3:30am, and why Brady crowned himself the Wet Dream King.

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod 

This is the other half of the conversation from last weeks episode. Uncle Brady and I take a peek behind the scenes of My Five Wives, how fundamentalism is at the root of polygamy's problems, and how he has "come out" as a polygamist.

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod

In this 1st part of many, my Uncle Brady (and star of TLC's My Five Wives) sits down and we reveal unto the world how he feels about having 5 wives, Sacrament Stew™, and what actually gets talked about in Seventies Quorum. 

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod

In this wonderfully cute episode, the 'rents and I sit down on their basically brand-new, non-AUB-owned property, and reveal unto the world how in the freakin' hell they were able to "escape" Pinesdale, how their relationship was despise-at-first-sight, and what they've always wanted to say to the people of the AUB. 

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod 

In this schedule-friendly episode, my friend Rabbitt sits down with Ol' Crumpets and I as we reveal unto the world what it's like to essentially be a polygamist without the religion, the various types of polyamorous relationships (and their definitions), and how easy it is to have a night end in board games. 

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod

For the first time in Polyganometry history, an actual polygamist woman and I sit down and reveal unto the world what it was like growing up in a family of 60+, a betrothal-by-dream, and why she married an older man at age 17.

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
  
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
  
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod
  
  

In this "Return of the Jedi" episode, Sarah and I round out the conversation with some of the most harrowing points in regards to the foundations of the LDS Church. For those of you who have listened to all 3 and want to learn more, the CES Letter is free to download at cesletter.org. For those of you who have had your faith challenged due to the content of the letter and these episodes, congratulations. If you are in a faith crisis, please do not hesitate to reach out to myself on Instagram, Facebook, or Gmail. I am always down to listen and help in any way possible. Thanks for listening!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
  
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
  
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod
  

In this "Empire Strikes Back" episode, Sarah and I keep trucking along with all of Mr. Runnells' points, arguments, and thoughts regarding the inconsistencies in the LDS Church.

If you're interested in reading the CES Letter for yourself, it is free to download at cesletter.org

In this "New Hope" episode, my good buddy Sarah and I reveal unto the world our thoughts on the first few sections of the extremely controversial Church Education System Letter written by Jeremy Runnells. This is dense stuff. Strap in.

If you're interested in reading the CES Letter, it is free to download @ cesletter.org

In the 2nd half of this conversation with my 1st Cousin, he and I reveal unto the world how he almost lost his leg in Alaska. Buckle in, this one is awesome.  

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
  
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
  
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod
  

In part 1 of this convo, my 1st cousin and I reveal unto the world what it's like being the child of divorced polygamists, how someone could be addicted to religion, and how he had no clue that Mormons get planets when they die.

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
  
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
  
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod
  

In this history-heavy episode, Sarah and I reveal unto the world an interesting theory involving Joe Smith Sr. and his ties to organized crime, her family history involving Allreds, and Brigham Young's hankering for whiskey.

If you find her story interesting, give her a follow on Instagram @mormontruecrimeandhistory.

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
  
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
  
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod
  

In the 2nd half of this very special episode, my Grandpa and I expand on the origins of life on Earth, some compelling evidence by NASA confirming the existence of the supposed "12th Planet", and I also tell him that I love him.

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
  
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
  
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod
  

In the first half of this other-worldly episode, my Grandpa and I sit down and reveal unto (this) world the Anunnaki, a race of humanoid extra-terrestrials from the planet Nibiru who, according to author Zecharia Sitichin, are responsible for life on Earth. Strap in and keep your eyes out for UFO's!

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
  
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
  
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod
  

In this gigglefest of an episode, my comedy buddy (and former Mormon) Theo Blue and I reveal unto the world Joseph Smith's possible use of psychedelics, how many Mountain Dews he shotgunned as a youth, and what the Provo Soak actually feels like.

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
  
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
  
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod
  

In this wonderful episode, my kinda 1st Cousin and I reveal unto the world how his mom is his family’s resident Polyganometrist, the logistical details involving seating arrangements during church, and we call my mom to clear the air about how she truly feels about him.

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
  
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
  
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod

In part 2 of this anecdotal episode, my 1st cousin and I reveal unto the world the intricacies of polygamist politics, Nephite dresses, and the deeper meaning behind getting a Blue Star on Field Day.

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
  
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
  
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod
  

In this well-researched episode, my 1st Cousin and I reveal unto the world the facts on sexual abuse regarding the culture of the AUB, what it’s like being the kid of Cult Cop, and the beginning of an intricate, very “true-crimey” section of Pinesdale’s history.

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
  
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
  
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod
  

In this vulnerable episode, my 1st cousin and I reveal unto the world her experience of being the oldest of 25 children, what it’s like to have a family on TLC, and how she truly feels about her parent’s lifestyle.

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
  
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
  
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod

In this episode, my Grandpa and I reveal unto the world the unlikely mix of trigger weight and the "7th wave", the greatest shootout in Secret Service history, and how he became baptized into the Apostolic United Brethren. 

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
  
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
  
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod

In this special Wednesday episode, my favorite feminine hygiene product Fraser McMinn and I discuss and review the Netflix docu-series Murder Among the Mormons.

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
  
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
  
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod
   

In the 2nd half of this conversation, my little sister and I reveal unto the world how the Articles of Faith might induce emesis, the proper way to pronounce Ammoron, and an ironic casting choice for the AUB's production of Cheaper by the Dozen. Her husband also pops on at the end to talk about what he thought about Pinesdale while growing up in the Bitterroot Valley.  

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
  
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
  
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod
  

In this riffy episode, my little sis and I reveal unto the world how getting pregnant is kind of a hobby in the AUB, how bodily harm was commonplace during recess, and what she would do if her child grew up to be a Furry.

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
  
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
  
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod
  

In this episode, my Grandpa and I continue through his transition from the Secret Service to the US Border Patrol. He and I reveal unto the world his peripheral knowledge of the Watergate Scandal, how to use a night vision scope as a weapon, and how picking tomatoes changed the trajectory of his life.

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
  
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
  
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod
  

In this episode, my grandpa and I continue his journey through the Secret Service after the Navy. He and I reveal unto the world how he found my grandma during Hide and Seek, how efficient he was at Work for the Dead, and what type of underwear President Nixon wore.

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
  
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
  
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod
  

In this refreshing episode, my Aunt (and also my 2nd cousin) and I reveal unto the world how to drop the Polygamy Bomb while bartending, how happiness can be found by living in a 5th wheel, and how she found a cousin while doing some explosive welding.

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
  
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
  
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod

In part 2 of the conversation with Gramps, he details how many times he failed his oral seaman's exam, how he almost married a woman named Dog, and his final wish of dying in a bar fight.

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
  
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
  
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod
  

In this episode that has been a long time coming, my Grandpa and I reveal unto the world what his life was like growing up in rural Oregon, a new way to think about the semi-colon, and his life before the Navy.

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
  
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
  
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod
  

In this twangy episode, my “Uncle” Aaron and I reveal unto the world the similarities between polygamy and an Aryan daycare, a new Book of Mormon movie starring Nicolas Cage, why parts of the Book of Mormon are written in French, white salamanders, and the “Curse of Being Good At Writing Country Music.”

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
  
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
  
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod
  

In the first ever Ask and Ye Shall Receive, I am joined by the tea to my crumpets, Fraser McMinn. He dials in from the American Motherland to help me answer the still, small voices that are stirring in the spirits of the listeners. 

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the next A&YSR? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
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In this unique episode, my Uncle and I reveal unto the world how a free cup of coffee led to becoming a meteorologist for the Navy, how he hasn't learned how to speak in tongues yet, and what really happens when you cross the equator. 

Have questions that you'd like to have answered on the podcast? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
  
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
  
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod
  

In this aggressively honest episode, my 1st Cousin Tim is called to receive his Seconds and reveal unto the world how choosing a religion is like playing roulette in a casino, whether or not women shave their boobs, and a whole lotta talk about the Labans, Gadiantons, Babylonians, and Teancums.

**WARNING!!**

**If you are someone who doesn't want to hear an open dialogue about sex then you should totally listen to this episode.**

Have questions you'd like to be answered on the podcast? Reach out!

• Email: polyganometrypod@gmail.com
  
• Instagram: @polyganometrypod
  
• Facebook: facebook.com/polyganometrypod