Follow: @practicingpolya - Hosted by James Sias (he/him)
The mission of the Practicing Polyamory Podcast is to provide a platform for all of the real life, flawed humans that practice polyamory so that we might all learn from one another and grow as a community. This is a safe space where people admit their shortcomings and failures, celebrate wins, and talk about the hard lessons learned along each individual’s journey through polyam. Be aware, we may not always be able to provide trigger warnings, as our shows are recorded live. As often as possible we will do so in episode descriptions.
Joy has a wide range of abilities to help her clients, as she is able to operate in multiple ways. Sometimes she's a trauma therapist, other times an art therapist, and yet others she plays the role of a coach!
We start by talking about each of these roles--what they are, and who best might qualify for each--before jumping deep into attachment theory.
What is attachment theory? What are the types of attachments? How does knowing your attachment style actually help you?
Joy gives a great, real-world example of how an anxious type and an avoidant type might interact, how to address the potential miscommunication of needs between the two, and tips on how to heal attachment wounds.
Tune in to hear what she has to say about how attachment theory changes when it comes to polyamory, and what triggering attachment wounds might bring up in your relationships!
Learn more about Joy at www.recreatingdawn.com and follow her @recreatingdawn !
TW: Conversion Therapy Practices (20:07 - 22:39)
In this episode, we get to hear about Arin's experience with questioning their gender, going back as far as when they were five years old and realized that they were not quite fitting in like everyone else.
Their experience with bullying inspired them to work with kids who are questioning their gender, helping kids navigate this oft-confusing path.
But it's not just kids who need help navigating, their parents often do, too!
Arin and I get to dive into what the internet has done to help the trans, non-binary, questioning community and how gender non-conforming kids are getting along in her therapy practice.
We get into some of the struggles someone might face when coming out, and what some reactions from parents might be.
Here's where we hit the trigger warning.
We talk about some of the torture that people face when going through conversion therapy. Please skip from 20:07 to 22:39 if you are sensitive to this topic.
We finish it up with some tips for parents of someone who is coming out, and get a chance to answer a listener question!
I had so much fun with Arin and I know you will, too! Learn more about Arin at www.renewedmentalhealth.com and follow them @renewedmentalhealth !
Let's get kinky with it! Today we chat with Sawah Danniels, a gender & polyam affirming, anti-racist decolonialist therapist operating from the unceded K’Tunaxa, Sinixt, and Okanagan territories (otherwise known as Nelson, British Columbia).
We get into some great discussion on how they Incorporate geek/nerd culture into therapy, and I get to nerd out on Marvel talking about Thor's mental health journey.
Then we jump right into debunking common kink myths, at which point we get into the ideas around sub space, how to navigate around the disconnect that happens during intense scenes, and the importance of aftercare.
We get really deep into how people have utilized kink for healing trauma (TW: we talk about sexual assault), and this is such a powerful part of the conversation!
Last we some of the differences and similarities between dom drop and sub drop, and how people can navigate their scenes and roles.
Tune in to hear it all, and learn more about Sawah by going to www.thenerdytherapist.com and follow them @thenerdytherapist !
Is it sexy to ask permission for the first kiss? We think so! In this episode I get to chat with Jenna Trostle, a therapist based in Melbourne, Australia, and we get into some really deep discussion around consent (among other things).
Jenna shares her story of what brought her to Australia and her journey through polyam, and how caring about the environment inspired her to pursue a career as a therapist.
When it comes to consent, we talk about getting clear on what the connection with a person may or may not be, what happens when assumptions are made (we've all been there), and how to rescind consent when it's already been given.
This was such a fun and valuable conversation and I know our audience will take a lot from this. Learn more about Jenna at www.spectracounselling.com and follow @spectracounselling !
Having my own background in business and entrepreneurship, I was really excited to chat with Mike today about all things personal finance. Mike's approach to financial coaching is based on attachment theory, so we dove into what people's relationships are with money and how it affects our polyamorous relationships.
One big takeway from this discussion is that there's a difference between having real money challenges, compared how much money you FEEL like you have. Emotions around money can be very different, and it's important for people to recognize your own money story.
Tune in to learn why Mike became a money coach for the polyam and LGBT communities, get some tips on planning finances within a polycule, and learn how attachment theory applies to money (are you avoidant, secure, anxious?) plus how privilege affects our relationship to money.
Learn more about Mike at www.empathicfinance.com and follow him @mikepumphreymoneycoach !
In this episode I chat with Heather Spreadborough, a therapist who believes in you and your ability to recover from trauma. We start the conversation by defining exactly what trauma is, what it is and what it isn't--specifically the differences between grief, loss and trauma.
My favorite part of this episode is how deep we got into the fascinating subject of EMDR - Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. We got really deep into the science of why it works, who is a good candidate for EMDR therapy, and the importance of the trust you'll need to have in your therapist before starting EMDR.
This was a truly fascinating interview and you won't want to miss it! Learn more about our guest at www.heathertherapy.com
Dr. Rachael Meir returns to the podcast and brings Kasey Kershner with her, giving us two out of three partners of a closed triad.
When they met, Rachael and her husband were looking to find a special connection together, and Kasey had been through a previous relationship that was heavily influenced by couples privilege and was marred by heartbreak.
Tune in to hear about how the trio came together, fell in love and decided to live together after just 12 days, and what the three went through individually and together throughout their journey so far.
Hear about how Rachael and Aaron have worked to deconstruct their couples privilege and invite Kasey in as an equal partner, and considerations Kasey made to ensure that she would not be treated like a unicorn being hunted.
An absolutely amazing conversation with these two amazing ladies that you won't want to miss! Follow them and learn more @triadandtrue !
This was an excellent episode with therapist Heather Garner out of Towson, Maryland. We covered a ton of great material in this episode, such as what to expect as a polyamorous parent, how kids benefit from having more adults around, and reasons why poly parents might often get criticism from society.
We get into coping with heartbreak by asking how to work through a breakup when children have developed an emotional attachment to partners, and some guidelines on how to introduce partners to our children, too.
Learn more about our guest by going to www.garneringchange.net and follow on IG: @garnering_change !
Today we get to hear from an awesome online creator and educator, @Annie_Undonr (Annie Whitman) whose unique style makes her content super engaging and easy to digest. She's on a mission to help others realize that, "You deserve to be yourself."
Annie's done such a wonderful job chronicling her journey and creating content as she has processed her feelings around the things poly folx go through. Things like going on a date with someone new, experiencing NRE, managing jealousy when her partner goes on a date, and coming to the realization that maybe polyamory fit her more naturally, but never knowing it was an option.
We also talk about her recent experience of being unwittingly outed to family, the fallout she's experiencing, and how she's coping with the family members with whom she wants to maintain relationships.
We had so much fun chatting, and there's a lot of great nuggets in this episode, so don't miss out! Learn more and follow Annie on IG/Reddit: @Annie_Undone !
Okay, so this was fun! There was a scheduling snafu that ended up with me starting on one topic and shifting gears 4 minutes in when our guest, Maria Carrington, popped in!
Maria has developed a course intended to teach therapists about kink and BDSM, and demystifying the belief that these practices are at the root of mental health problems (they're not). We talk about the questions you might want to ask your therapist to make sure they're sex positive and affirming, recognizing biases that your mental health professional might be carrying, and what may or may not be included in the psychology bible, aka the DSM-V.
Learn more about our guest at www.nwsextherapy.com!
I get a chance to chat with sex therapist Anna Baxter today, whose journey through BDSM, polyam, and gender identity gives them a unique perspective that they're able to share with our audience. We talk about the importance of labels and words (like skoliosexual), finding community, and how having the right words to describe ourselves and find community helps us make decisions in our lives that best fit us and helps us be the best version of ourselves. We get into the topic of neuroscience, and how with time and practice we can rewrite our neuropathways and rewrite our autonomy to be more aligned with our authentic selves. Tune in to learn more, and find out about our guest's project by following on IG: @Atlanta_Polyamory.
I'm so excited to host one of the top polyam educators and creators on social media today, Jessica Levity Daylover of @RemodeledLove and @HomeSliceProductions fame.
Jessica isn't just hilariously creative, relatable, and smart as a whip, she's also on a mission to expand the cultural narrative on healthy relationships and normalize polyamory and ethical non-monogamy on a grand scale. In other words, she wants to change society's semiology!
We talk about her mission, her recent podcast episode where she discusses her recent discovery of her demisexuality, how she's navigating that realization in comparison to our sex-negative culture, and why she is anti-capitalist.
I'm so happy to have a chance to get to know Jes on an even deeper level, and hope you all enjoy it as well! Be sure to look up and learn about solidarity economy, and learn more about Jes at www.remodeledlove.com, follow on IG: @remodeledlove / @homesliceproductions, and on TikTok: @homesliceproductions.
Therapy is hard work, but in this episode we learn from our awesomely nerdy guest, Matt Fahy, how he's made the hard work of therapy FUN by incorporating game theory into his work. We learned about three types of communication and how therapy can be gamified to teach these concepts and integrate them into relationships. This was a particularly fun episode where Matt brought out my inner geek, with a ton of great nuggets of wisdom sprinkles throughout.
Learn more about Matt and his practice at www.heroichealthgroup.com and follow on IG: @heroichealthgroup
I'm joined today by two awesome, poly-friendly therapists who, as trauma-informed therapists, view polyamory as a centerpiece for healing past traumas. We cover how polyamory helps folx with wounded attachments and we touch on how we can recognize our attachment styles to recognize Codependency, Counterdependency, and Interdependency. We further dive into how the populace of polyam folks is largely independent women/femmes and how that may affect the data that researchers have gathered over the years.
Learn more about our guests at www.makingspacepsychotherapy.com and www.createhealthysynergy.com and follow on IG: @dr.sophiamurphy
Today's guest, Michelle Vaughan, co-authored a significant research project about compersion, and in this episode we take a deep dive into it. We learn about her project which covers what compersion is and how it can be measured, and how we might use this information to improve our relationships. We also learn that there are not one, but THREE different types of compersion! Tune in to hear what those three types of compersion are, and learn more about Michelle by following her on Twitter: @MichelleDVPhD
TW: Sexual Assault & R*pe
Our guest today has an incredible and remarkable story. From home school to college, from psychology and business degrees to marketing and office management, from drug and alcohol addictions to sobriety and work as a high end escort, and now as a therapist, relationship coach and certified sexologist, her life experience has taught her one thing above all…there is no need for a life filled with shame.
This amazing guest has a knack for making people feel safe to explore their shame without feeling judged. Her personal experience in moving past THAT crippling emotion, and realizing her full potential as a joyful being, is a powerful gift that she is able to share with her clients so that they, too, can live happy and shame-free lives.
Whether we experience shame about gender, race, sexual orientation, fantasies, socio-economic status, or anything else the results are the same: lower self esteem and distrust in ourselves and our relationships.
Our guest today can help us overcome that. Joining us today from the Shame-Free Zone out of Grass Valley, CA, welcome to the show Veronica Monet!
Learn more at www.theshamefreezone.com and follow her @the_shame_free_zone
Therapist Stephanie M. Sullivan joins the show today and shares her story of finding polyamory through the lens of writing her grad school thesis. After a quick run-in with her cat, we talk about ambiamory and then dive right into ways to make mono-poly relationships successful. We talk about attachment styles and how they apply specifically to mono-poly relationships, including how introducing polyamory to a previously monogamous relationship can cause an attachment injury. So how should we approach the subject when just approaching it could cause damage to your relationship? Tune in to find out, and learn more about Stephanie at www.coloryournamecoaching.com and www.attune-ment.com, and follow her on FB/IG: @SMSullivanMFT and @coloryournamecoaching.
This episode got real deep and left me speechless at the end! Christine and I start by chatting about what her children have seen and gone through being raised by polyam parents. She shares a close call story when one of her children asked a school counselor about jealousy in a polyam relationship, which may give listeners a good insight on how to approach similar situations. And of course, Christine and I get to explore human sexuality and development from two corollary viewpoints: that of Chakra and Eastern culture, and Western Pyschology through the eyes of Erikson. This was an incredible conversation that highlighted how a 5000 year old practice (Chakra) is validated by more modern psychological teachings, and how trauma is carried in the body through both of these lenses. And seriously...I'm speechless by the end, so check it out!
Learn more about Christine Laplante at www.becomeintegrated.com and follow her on FB/IG: @christinelaplantelmhc and @sacrednotsecret
In this episode, I get to chat with Certified Financial Planner Mike Golosovker who gives us some insight into some of the specific nuances relating to polyam folx when it comes to financial planning. While many of the financial foundations are the same across the board no matter your relationship orientation (for example, who are you, what are you trying to accomplish, what are your goals and resources, what's your psychology, and how do we put it all together?), there are some things that make financial planning for polycules a little bit tricker. We cover some of those topics, some things you should be thinking about as a polycule, and also what stops a lot of poly folx from taking the important steps of planning for their future. If you want to set yourself up for financial success, be sure to tune in and learn more about Mike by going to www.champion-strategies.com and follow on FB: @ChampionFinancialStrategies
In this episode I get a chance to chat with Kitty Chambliss, #1 best-selling author of The Jealousy Survival Guide and Host of the Loving Without Boundaries podcast. We tackle a listener request about how to tell your monogamous partner that you may be polyamorous, and she gives some incredible insights on the subject. Being clear about your identity, for example, and being undoubtedly certain that you are polyamorous is an important first step to take before sharing the idea with your partner. If this resonates with you, be sure to tune in for a deep dive into coming out to our monogamous partners! Kitty offers relationship coaching services and you can learn more at www.lovingwithoutboundaries.com, and follow them on IG: @lovingwithoutboundaries and Twitter @PolyTalkByKitty.
In this episode I interview my two friends, Nel and George, who have been married for over 30 years and polyam for the past 8. Recently, Nel has had a JOYNING (a life commitment ceremony) with another partner. and we get to hear from George and Nel what their experience has been through this transition. We talk about what it was like in the early days of opening up, and how things have changed between then and now with this new life partner in the mix. Nel is also an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, so if you are seeking counseling for your polya journey in California, she can help you out! Go to www.affirmingtherapycenter.com and follow on FB: @AffirmingTherapyCenter
What an incredibly powerful episode! Staci has been polyamorous for nearly 20 years and only recently was correctly diagnosed with borderline personality disorder--not to be confused with bipolar personality disorder. She shares her experiences with such vulnerability and transparency, and gives a message of hope for those who are in similar situations. We get into the differences between borderline and bipolar, symptoms of borderline, and tips for partners (especially favorite persons) of folx with borderline.
I learned a lot from Staci about what borderline is and I hope others can connect and resonate with her story. If you'd like to chat with her, find her on Facebook under Staci Gatschet(-Miller).
This episode was recorded June 1, the beginning of Pride month. I come from a very conservative Hispanic home, was taught that boys don't cry, expected to be a manly man, and when I spent time in the military a lot of those teachings were emphasized further. So it's been a long road for me to get to where I am today: a staunch ally of the LGBTQIA+ community, and someone who will fight alongside you for equal rights and protections. I know I've still got a long way to go, but this is my story and what Pride means to me.
In this episode I chat with therapist Nikki Beecher who started her polyamorous journey with a long-distance relationship. LDR's have a tendency to put pressure on you and your partner's time, money, and energy resources, which can easily lead to resentment when needs aren't being met. Nikki and I get deep into how to address resentment especially in long distance relationships, but the lessons apply to relationships of all types. We cover some tips to help you have these hard conversations with your partner, the power of authenticity and vulnerability when getting into those conversations, and how managing expectations at the beginning of your relationships can help prevent resentment in the future.
Tune in for an awesome discussion and learn more about Nikki at www.mftnikki.com and follow on FB: @caritascounseling
What's the polyamorous world looking like for the next generation? In this episode I'm excited to chat with Leanne from @polyphiliablog, who talks about her experience as a polyamorous Gen-Zer. She shares her discovery of polyamory at just 17 years old, talks about her journey so far, and how being polyam has affected relationships with her friends and family. As the creator for one of the most popular polyam pages out there now, Leanne explains how she uses humor, wit, and creativity to create community and send a message of normalization. We talk about what healthy polyamory looks like, her experience as an autistic person in polyam relationships, and what it means to take ownership of your emotions.
Learn more about Leanne at www.polyphilia.blog, buy her stuff from polyphiliastore.rebubble.com, and I'm sure you already are but just in case follow her @polyphiliablog!
In this episode we talk with someone who has been non-monagmous most of her adult life and until a year ago had been practicing polyamory for about 6 years, After such a long time not being monogamous, she has now found herself loving her life in a monogamous relationship. Ambiamorous, anyone? Leigh's story about choosing to be consciously monogamous and how the lessons she learned from polyamory and non-monogamy have improved her monogamous relationship is enlightening, and I love being able to explore the conscious choices that make us who we are. She's also a sex coach, and we talk about when someone might need a sex coach, and first steps when opening up. If you enjoyed hearing her story, learn more at www.sexcoachleigh.com and www.queersnextdoor.com and follow them @sexcoachleigh and @queersnextdoor!
While there is no "right way" to be polyamorous, there are some things that those who are new to the scene (no pun intended) should know. In this episode, I talk about some of those things that newly minted polyamorists should be learning and thinking about, and I also speak to our community about the lack of empathy I sometimes see exhibited toward these new poly folx. Let me know what y'all think!
On this episode I'm joined by one of the coolest people on the internet, Claire Travers from @polypages!
After some egregious fangirling on my part, we dive into what Solo Polyamory means and why the number of partners we have or don't have doesn't determine whether or not we can identify as SoPo.
We talk about trends that we see among our listeners and wonder out loud what those trends say about the community at large, what it might mean for our polyamorous relationships, and what makes our way of relating so special and unique.
We also talk about life after break-ups, especially as Claire recently decoupled from three partners within a pretty short time frame.
Claire is a full-time academic researcher and she skillfully simplifies the huge topics and ideas presented in polyamory literature for her audience. I'm so happy to have had the chance to chat with her and learn from an incredibly smart and articulate human who is creating incredible content and providing a wonderful service to our community.
Learn more at www.polypages.org and follow Claire @polypages!
In this episode I get to chat with Tanya Jarvik, a speaker and relationship coach who shares her story about navigating non-monogamy in the mid-90s, before any of the major books and authors we know and love today, were available or published.
Tune in to hear her story about telling her husband that she had a new love interest after years of monogamy, how she began to build community through magazines and online communities, and what it takes to make our communities strong and vibrant today. We also get to hear her experience of growing up in a Mormon household and what role religion played in her discovery of and journey through non-monogamy and polyamory.
We also get to learn a new term, coined by Tanya herself, as how she identifies as a Relationship Permaculturalist. Tune in to learn what that means and see if it resonates with you!
Learn more about Tanya at www.radicallyrooted.com!
We are joined for an encore performance by Texas Attorney Stacey McLarty who has a ton of tips for all you polyam folx who have multiple nesting partners or are thinking about moving in with your partner(s). Tune in to hear what types of documents and contracts you might want to prepare for different situations.
We cover things you might put together regarding living agreements, why a new partner moving into your home would benefit from a rental agreement, what you might want to consider doing if you are planning to start a business together, and some possible options to help make sure your chosen family can be in the hospital with you in a worst-case scenario.
The biggest takeaway whenever I chat with attorneys is simple: plan ahead!
I'm so grateful to have been able to bring this awesome guest onto the show. Be sure to check out Episode 40 for part 1 of this interview, and if you are in Texas and need some legal help or advice be sure to go to www.chosenfamilylawtx.com and get in touch with Stacey!
Are you looking for a large, powerful transformation in your life, something that might require you to tune into your soul and shift some of your lifelong beliefs and paradigms?
Our guest today is a differently abled polyamorous preacher, podcaster, and spiritual coach, and in this episode, I talk with Reverend Amanda Ganley about what she went through when she dismantled the religious teachings of her childhood. She found herself discovering and connecting to her higher power and authentic self in groundbreaking ways and it was such a powerful shift for her and her life, that she felt called to minister and help others experience it, too.
Amanda loves to help her clients tap into their authenticity and help them discover that being true to oneself is the pathway to connecting with their higher power. Through these teachings, she has helped her clients turn the corner and accomplish their major life and relationship goals.
Tune in to hear the lessons she's learned regarding her spirituality, how it shows up in her polyamory, and how she's helping her clients find peace, self-awareness, and authentic connection to Spirit.
Learn more about Amanda at www.amandaganley.com and follow her @poly_priestess !
In this episode I get an opportunity to talk about the intersection between big bodied people and polyamory with therapists Katy Alaniz and Cutter Roberts. Both are therapists who help people dealing with eating disorders, navigating polyamory and ethical non-monogamy, and trauma. They are also partners, and we get a glimpse of how their relationships have been affected by living in big bodies. We talk about what they've done to navigate this intersection, and how they help their clients do the same. Tune in for some awesome conversation and insight, and learn more about our guests at www.thewakefulstate.com and www.dallasctc.com, and follow them @theweightytherapist and @dallasctc!
In this episode I interview Dr. Jen Schwartz, an awesome polyam therapist based out of Utah. She's been practicing polyamory for 20+ years, including having lived several years as part of a quad with as many as 12 children around at any given time! We get to explore how they navigated children and polyamory, how the children were affected by their parents' polyamory, and how Jen navigated powerfully ending a relationship with one member of the quad while marrying another. This was such a great conversation with a lot of funny stories, wonderful insights, and lessons we can all take away to improve our relationships even when they end. Learn more at www.thirdeyefamilysolutions.com and follow Dr. Jen @thirdeyefamilysolutions
In this episode I am joined by Roy Graff from Open Relating, based out of the UK. We dive headfirst into talking about compersion and jealousy, and as the conversation goes on we get deep into what i means to truly connect your authentic self with your partner's authentic self. This was an amazing conversation full of nuggets of wisdom, tips, and strategies to becoming more self aware so that we can love our partners better. Roy offers coaching and a 5-week course for polyam folx. Learn more at www.openrelating.love and follow Roy everywhere @openrelating!
In this episode I learned A LOT from therapist B Lourenco about how Autism Spectrum Disorder (or Autism Spectrum Condition hopefully soon!) shows up in adults and how it affects their relationships. Whether you are neuro-typical or neuro-diverse, there is a lot of great information packed into this 30-minute show! We discuss how ASD shows up in adults and how to bridge the gap in communication with neuro-mixed type relationships. Be sure to stay to the end to hear how dating someone who is neuro-diverse can really make your heart soar! Learn more about B at www.blourencotherapy.com!
In this episode with Valerie Beltrán, we discuss metamour relationships. She explains how in her own journey, her views shifted from seeing her metamours as a threat to her relationship, to seeing them as friends, confidants, and part of her community. Tune in to hear how she communicated her jealousy to her partner and how she overcame the tendency to compare herself to her metas. If you are interested in using psychedelics in your therapy journey, stay to the end where we get into some good discussion over what's around the corner in this exciting field of medicine. Learn more about Valerie at www.therapywithvalerie.com and www.psychsems.com, and follow her on IG: _damsel_in_destress_
What does it mean to be truly autonomous? Like really, TRULY autonomous? Amongst other things, it means to break free of all of the myriad constraints that we’re held back by…constraints held by society, held by family, held by our own expectations of ourselves based on what we’ve seen growing up, in the media, and that have been ingrained in us throughout our lives. In this episode, I’m joined by the incomparable Marie D’Elephant and we have aa fantastic conversation around breaking free of those constraints and taking ownership of our own lives. Tune in to learn more, and find out more about Marie at www.mariedelephant.com and follow her everywhere @mariedelephant
Therapists are human, too, and in this episode Emelie and I talk about what we can do to #endthestigma around everyone (including therapists) getting counseling and therapy. We dive into ADHD and I learn about the two types (inattentive and hyperactive), and Emelie tells me about how ADHD shows up in adulthood. Getting even deeper, we talk about what the term "neuro-typical" might mean, and the places where it intersects with polyamory. Tune in for a great conversation and learn more about Emelie at www.sprouttherapypdx.com and follow them on IG & TikTok: @sprouttherapypdx
On today's episode we have therapist Amariah Love and her partner, Patrick, who talk to us about how they met and how Amariah's work as a therapist transcends into her polyamorous relationships. They talk about the benefits and challenges of having kink- and poly-friendly therapists, including protocol in case you see one another at kinky events! Stick around to the end to hear how stigmas around bisexual men shows up in polyam, and how Patrick has dealt with some of these issues. This is definitely a conversation that needs to continue! Learn more about Amariah at www.AmariahLove.com and follow her on FB: @AmariahLoveCounseling.
Grief and identity are such interesting subjects and in this episode, therapist Taylor Mefford and I talk about where those two important subjects intersect. I gotta tell you all, I was really loving the way Taylor explained what it's like to come to terms with changes in our identities, especially recovering from religious upbringings and practicing ways to love that are contradictory to religious and societal teachings. Tune in for some fantastic analogies and a deep dive into how different types of grief affect our lives! For more from Taylor, go to www.MyTherapyNYC.com and follow @mytherapynyc!
What is identity, and how do we define who we are?
This week featured a bonus episode recorded on a Friday, with a pretty incredible guest out of Manhattan, NY. Dr. Dulcinea Pitagora is a queer, polyamorous, former sex-worker turned affirming therapist and their story is inspiring to say the least.
If you are gender non-conforming, transitioning, or have otherwise struggled with who you are or who you present to the world, this episode is for you.
Learn more about Dr. Dulcinea at www.dulcineapitagora.com or www.KinkDoctor.com and follow them on Twitter: @KinkDoctor
Today's show features a polyamorous attorney out of Austin Texas, and we get to dive into some really good discussion about polyamory and the law! But first, Stacey shares some details of her personal story, including some surprising details about her bonds with two partners! We talk about how relationship structures can vary from one person to the next, and how to reassure partners that they are loved for who they are.
Tune in to hear some personal tips on managing relationships that move at different speeds, plus get some tips on how to legally protect your Chosen Family's future!
For more, check out www.chosenfamilylawtx.com and follow Stacey on IG: @staceymclarty
This episode was filmed less than an hour after George Floyd's murderer was convicted, and I was super happy to have a voice of the Black community on the show to share her thoughts and experiences as a polyamorous Black woman. Kendal Edwards is a sex and relationship coach out of Atlanta, Georgia, and in addition to answering some Polyam 101 questions from our live audience, we get into a discussion around the intersectionality of race and polyamory. Tune in to hear her story and get some great resources, too!
Learn more at www.kendalsgarden.com or follow on IG: @_thekinkshrink
TW: Trans issues around pronouns and non-acceptance from family members.
Water and I covered some really deep issues in this episode, as we searched for ways that people can embrace and find freedom in their truth. There were times when this conversation was really tough, and I felt the need to check my privilege and think hard about the message I want to send to our community.
There was at least one big lesson for me in this conversation, which was that sometimes I need to let go of certain parts of my identity and that's okay. I'm not meant to be all things at all times.
I hope you enjoy the show and learn more about Water Shepherd at www.thirdeyeintegration.com
Oregon attorneys Steven Mastanduno & Nate Jones talk with me today about how individuals and polycules can set themselves up for legal success when it comes to buying/selling property together, setting up terms for guardianship of dependents, and estate planning. There is a lot of room for improvement and growth in society with regard to law and polyamory, but unfortunately the law moves slowly and there is a huge void where the law doesn't conform to what people are doing. This begs the question, how many people are willing to contact their state legislature? What Polyamory Activism movements are out there?
Steve and Nate are doing everything the can to help the community work around some of the failings of the system and help polycules navigate proper planning.
Tune in to learn more about polyamory and the law and check out Steve and Nate at www.mastandunolaw.com
Sex-Positive Therapist Christy Powell joins me today for fantastic conversation around sexuality through a secular/atheist lens and finding joy in the dating process. He reminds listeners to enjoy the moment and take things slowly, and we spend some time breaking down religious pillars around sexuality and coming to terms with our identity in spite of religious upbringing. I really liked this line from Christy: "Giving ourselves permission to build the best version of our lives not our best replication of somebody else's vision."
Tune in and learn more about our guest at www.vcatx.com or follow him on IG/FB: @valencecounseling
This is among the most important conversations I feel like I've had on the show so far.
Sex-Positive Psychotherapist Carling Mashinter joins me to open up the conversation around STIs, and we dive in head-first into stigma, societal trauma, treatment options, and likelihood of transmission.
We all have a role to play in the destigmatization of folx living with STIs, and we all have the opportunity to be allies.
Tune in to hear more, and learn about our Carling at www.relationshipmatterstherapy.com and follow her on IG/FB: @relationshipmatterstherapy
Are you on the fence about getting a therapist? This conversation with Kate McNulty dives into some things to help people discover what they might need to know prior to starting therapy, and some advice for beginning that journey. Additionally, we talk about dismantling the toxic masculinity trope regarding men's fear of emotions, why it's better for people to be honest and open about their desires to be with others rather than identity crises for lying about those desires, and taking care of each others' feelings during big conversations (listen for what we agree with from what the other person is saying, rather than preparing our arguments). So much good stuff!!
Learn more about Kate at www.sexpositivetherapist.com
In this discussion with Poly Coach Laurie Ellington, we talk about strategies for managing emotions and she explains how, very often, the negative emotions we're feeling are our inner child's way of protecting us. Laurie talks about connecting with your inner child, often using internal family systems (think Pixar's Inside Out), and other emotion-management strategies like "The Bitch Book." We also get a quick refresher on somatics, and how it's tied in with the nervous system.
Learn more about Laurie at www.poly-coach.com and follow on FB: @PolyamoryCoach
This episode's conversation with Radical Relating's Mel Cassidy covered a wide swath of topics. In digging into the Monogamy Hangover, we talked about the effects of patriarchal monogamy, what it means to be on the relationship escalator, how ancestral trauma and colonialism (including monogamy being forced on indigenous peoples) contributed to patriarchal aka toxic monogamy, somatics, and solo-open network poly. Wow!! So much valuable information packed into a 30-minute segment!
Learn more about Mel Cassidy at www.radicalrelationshipcoaching.ca and by following her on IG: @radicalrelating
I grew up in a conservative, religious household and grew up expecting the "white picket fence" monogamous ideal. I'm no longer religious, but I went through several identity crises as I navigated my way to my authenticity today, especially through my polyam journey.
Holistic Therapist Sebastian Earl joins the show to address exactly these types of issues, and his mission is to empower his clients to achieve radical self acceptance and love. Many polyam folks are looking for a way to live authentically even while respecting their religious upbringings, and Sebastian and I have a great conversation around marrying religion and non-conforming love styles.
Tune in and learn more at www.authentictherapy.com
This episode features Tatiana Aitken, a tantra provider in North Yorkshire, UK, and she is gracious enough to provide an Introduction to Tantra 101. The only thing I knew about Tantra going into this episode is the (probably bad) representation shown in American Pie 2, and Tatiana shares what a typical Tantra session might look like, what Tantra is meant to do for participants, and shares a story on how Tantra completely changed her clients life. Tune in to hear more, and learn more about Tatiana at www.tantrichealingtherapy.co.uk
Life Coach Angela Hayes joined us on this episode and we had one hell of a conversation! Tune in to find out what's the difference between a therapist and a life coach? How to take the victories and skills from the parts of your life that are going well into the parts where you're struggling. Tips on communication, such respecting & validating the other persons point of view and avoiding making mistaken assumptions. My personal biggest takeaway: Infidelity means different things to different people and each person's definition of infidelity is valid.
Learn more at www.lifecoachroundrock.com and follow Angela @lifecoachlotus
I don't have the words to express how excited I was to have Dr. Eli Sheff join me on the show! We talked about her personal story of why she was inspired to study polyamorous families, her academic work and publishing her books, and of course her newest project (The Bonding Project) and how it is impacting the relational landscape for people in all manner of relationship styles. We had a ton of fun and you will, too! Tune in, and find out more at www.elisabethsheff.com and www.bondingproject.com !
Did you know that the majority of therapists, even couples therapists, get little to no sexual health education?! My mind was absolutely blown by this tidbit, and I was totally impressed with Heather's passion for educating her fellow therapists. It's why she founded the Sexual Health Alliance, which has grown tremendously and is providing that vital information to mental health professionals everywhere. Tune in to learn more!
Find out more at https://respark.co and https://sexualhealthalliance.com
A picture is worth a thousand words, especially to an art therapist! Tune in to learn how our guest uses art in her therapy practice to get a deeper look into the thought processes and understandings of her clients. We get into the nitty gritty of art therapy and communication, especially how it applies to polyamory and polyam relationships. Tune in to learn more, and follow Molly on Insta:@splatter_paint_therapy_
Jessie shared so many of her personal experiences in discovering polyamory, navigating different kinds of non-monogamy while finding the labels that best suited her relationship preferences. Now the hinge in a V (or Z if we add her meta), there's been a lot of growth and self-realization for her over the years. If you are considering coming out to family, tune in to the end where Jessie shares her experience and offers her advice. Let's break down the stigmas together!
What is the relationship escalator? Why do we tend to follow that prescribed path? What happens in our relationships when we forego the standard storyline propagated by society? Get answers to these questions and more with our special guest, Indigo Stray Conger! Learn more at www.milehighpsychotherapy.com
Want to learn how to find fairness and balance in your relationships? Dr. Tiffany Ruelaz has your back! She is passionate not only about serving our community, she's equally driven to make sure that mental health care is made available to as many people as possible. Tune in to learn how she helps people become more self aware, create quality time in relationships, and hear what she is doing to inspire and build her community. Learn more about what she's up to at www.changeaz.org!
This was a lot of fun! Dr. Edelstein made a name for himself as the three-minute therapist and shared a ton of tips on how to be your own therapist. If you want to change the way you view your thinking and shift the way you approach nearly every emotion you can think of, this episode is for you! Tune in and learn more at www.threeminutetherapy.com!
We are more than our kink, we are more than polyamorous, we are more than our mistakes. Therapists who understand that we are full human beings, and refuse to see their patients through such a limited frame based on our relationship choices, are the ones that will be most effective. Today's guest is exactly that kind of therapist, and we dig deep into how we can be most honest and authentic and create a greater sense of trust in our relationships. Tune in and contact our guest at www.lakinkshrink.com!
Let's get kinky with it!! Miss Nookie is a love, sex, romance, and kink educator and author. She's created an online experience for kinksters, by kinksters, where you can get access to her educational resources and meet other kinky folks. In this episode we talk about what kink means, avoiding abusive relationships, and being your best, kinkiest self! Tune in for some fun!
This was an amazing experience for me, personally. I don't know about you, but I'm pretty hard on myself and expect a lot from the best parts of me. Dr. Meir helped me see how human I am, and helped me give myself permission not to be a machine. Very powerful episode that you won't want to miss!
This episode was so much fun! I got to know this beautiful couple and share their energies, and we had some really wonderful discussions around the way we connect to psychic energies, differences in energies between monogamous and polyam connections, ecstatic dancing, and challenges that polyam folx have faced during the pandemic. Tune in for a great show!
Wow! Seriously, I have almost nothing else to say! This episode was incredible. Claire and I took a deep dive into how we can overcome different emotions by using a visualization and meditation technique, and I kinda accidentally practiced it right on the show! This episode was chock-full of life-changing nuggets. I'm going to use a similar technique the next time I'm struggling with crushing self-doubt! Seriously. You don't want to miss this one!
Speaking from both her personal experience and also her experience with clients and polyamorous peers, our guest today had a ton of wisdom and knowledge to share with our audience. Based outside of San Antonio, TX, our guest provides holistic coaching and has developed a multitude of classes for her local polyam community. There are so many golden nuggets in this episode, you may want to listen twice!
This episode was too short!! We had an awesome therapist on today, and despite a bit of a late start and our guest having a prior engagement oohhhhhh wow did we get into some juicy discussion!! We dove right in talking about ethics in non-monogamy, supporting new couples opening up, societal acceptance, and how to deal with family acceptance in polyamory. Tune in to this episode for sure!
Wow! What a show! This episode featured a veritable rock star in our polyam community, someone who has been a keynote speaker at multiple events and whose most recent course in Transcending Shame has created an entirely new life for her. Hopefully you can gain some value from this, too, as we cover as many topics as we can in our 30-minute segment. Enjoy!
Do you feel as though you have to ask permission from your partner(s), or do you expect them to ask you for permission for certain things? I get pretty deep into my ideas on permission in polyam relationships, as well as finding balance in relationships, competition among metamours, and the three rules of polyamory: Communication, Communication, Communication! Link to the article below. Tune in!
Today we have a life coach and therapist who is not only polyam-friendly, he is polyam himself! We get into some great discussion talking about the differences between dating single and being polyamorous (ah, the early years!), how we can better manage our existing relationships when the NRE is strong, and what some techniques to go after our greater life goals. Tune in!
This was such a fun episode! These three amazing guests offered so much wisdom and grace to your host. It was a pleasure to be among and to learn from them. We talked about the challenges of a new partner coming into a polycule, struggles around dating post-covid, the challenges of being poly-saturated, and the importance of acknowledging our privilege and creating space for marginalized folx. Such a great show! Tune in =)
Today's episode is my take on these 10 tips to opening up a relationship from the article below. I talk about my own experience in opening up, some of the major mistakes that I made (including a jealousy rage) and offer my advice to newly open couples. Fun stuff!
Link to article: https://medium.com/polyamory-today/10-tips-for-successfully-opening-up-5c3318e7d4e1
On this episode we talk about jealousy, rules and boundaries, and complicated relationships within the polycule. We also get deeper into larger issues facing the polyamorous community including privilege, queer representation, and the importance of community and our chosen family. Hang out with Kimani on Discord! https://discord.gg/5Whe9nsC
Despite some minor technical difficulties, Faith and I discuss some tips when opening up a relationship, morality and acceptance of polyamory in society, and finally we get into a discussion around cheating. Tune in for a deep chat!
Today's guest relates her education and passion around intuitive eating to her journey through polyamory. In this episode, we discuss intuitive eating, recognizing patterns, attachment theory, and Jessica Fern's Polysecure. Fun discussion, tune in!
In today's episode, we cover morality, acceptance, and validation of polyamory and our polyam relationships. Join Dee, our wonderful guest who chose to remain anonymous and me as we dig into some deeper issues surrounding our polyamorous community and society at large.
Consensual Non-Monogamy and Relationship Anarchy are right in line and in the same conversation as polyamory. In this episode, we explore more deeply what that means to our guest, and we see once again how relationships are most successful when we come from a place of kindness!
Our guest today has been practicing polyam for nearly 20 years, and didn't have a lot of the resources that we do now. Tune in to hear how she and her partner navigated in the early years, overcame obstacles, and ultimately found happiness as they approached their relationship from a place of kindness and love!
Today's awesome guest is a blogger and escape room enthusiast who began her dating life through the polyamory lens, and is now monogamous by choice rather than by default. Tune in to hear her story, and check out her blog at www.buffalosauceeverywhere.com !
Thanks for tuning into the inaugural episode of the Practicing Polyamory Podcast! In this first episode, you'll get to hear my story as I tell it to my interviewer, my older brother Hernan. Looking forward to serving you and our community!
Hey everyone! Thanks for tuning into the show! I'm excited to share and grow with you, and I invite you to join me and our community here on this show. On the podcast, we will hear stories from very real, normal, polyam folx who are brave enough to share their stories. My hope is that we can learn from each other, connect with others who share our struggles, and grow together. Coming Soon!