Private Education
By Aisling Keenan
It's for anyone having sex and/or relationships. It's sex ed for adults. It's the chats you want to have with your partner or your best mates, only with a little more expertise, advice and – we hope – laughs too.
Private EducationJul 01, 2019
#59: "Who's the person that inspired this song?" and other inappropriate questions, with CMAT
This episode I talk to musician and songwriter Ciara Mary Alice Thompson, aka CMAT about the anonymous email address she set up to allow fans of hers to send in their relationship woes, so she could use them as inspiration for her songs. We also chat about bringing humour to her music as a defence mechanism, intrusive questions from journalists (not me, I hope!) and using songwriting as a way to process former relationships. Enjoy!
#58: Selling Sunset's Amanza Smith (help me guess her Irish rockstar connection...)
In another brilliant Selling Sunset interview, Amanza Smith (one of my favourite of the cast, don't tell Mary, Christine, Chrishell, Heather or Jason...) shares how she feels about introducing children to boyfriends, why she had the argument with Heather about it and how, if at all, starring on Selling Sunset has changed her life. Enjoy! Review! Tell your friends
#57: Selling Sunset's Jason Oppenheim on being best friends with your ex (and lots more)
I'm so buzzed about this – it's not strictly relationships, but it's fun nonetheless. This week, I interview Jason Oppenheim about celebrity clients, about working in such a dramatic environment, being best mates with his ex and more... Enjoy! Amanza's episode is next Friday!
#56: Things you should NEVER to say to someone going through a divorce or breakup
My guest this week is journalist, podcaster, Rogue co-founder and now author Liadán Hynes. Her brilliant book (we are friends, I am biased but honest) is out now, called How to Fall Apart. It's about how she rebuilt her life after the break down of her marriage. In this episode, she talks about the things you shouldn't say to someone at the end of their relationship, and gives alternative ways to approach those tricky conversations. Hope you enjoy!
#55: "I think about my ex EVERY. DAY." What's a gal to do?
Red flags, making friends as an adult and 'leaving room for the holy spirit'. My guest Dr Dre and I answer three listener questions - first up, someone who was ghosted by someone displaying so many red flags it was like a beach on the day of a hurricane, next up, a listener who thinks about her ex daily and wonders what it means, and lastly, a listener who is lonely, new to the country and wants to make friends as a 30-year-old. We advise on all of the above and throw in, oh, a casual MILLION tangents too. Enjoy
#54: What to tell yourself if you hate your body
My guest today is Bek Antonucci (@bekantonucci on Instagram) who is a coach, helping women feel better in their bodies. She and I talk about the bullying she suffered as a teen, a physically abusive relationship that she was in and eventually got out of, and we also talk about how your own feelings about your body impact your sex life and your relationships. Enjoy!
#53: Sex and the City: Is Carrie Bradshaw an objectively bad person?
I ADORE Sex and the City, and will always watch it, but Carrie is NOT a good person. Right? Stephanie O'Quigley joins me from New York City – the fabled 'fifth star' of SATC, to talk about Bradshaw and her many capers. From cheating on Aiden to ditching her best friend for a piece of veal, we discuss the many, many examples of how Sarah Jessica Parker's most well-known character was legitimately a bad person. It's not a hot take by any means, but I needed to talk about it. She's an awful wagon.
#52: "My partner is more into video games than into me" - more listener questions answered
The lovely Andrea Doyle (Dr Dre) joins me for this episode to help me give two more listeners advice on their relationships. Our first listener feels like her weight gain and hun bun might be putting her partner off her (we beg to differ!) and the second listener is trying to decide whether she should stick with her partner even though she wants kids and he doesn't. Hopefully both listeners - and you too - get something good from the episode. Enjoy!
#51: Checking your other half's phone, blaming yourself for cheating & more
In this episode, I answer two listener questions – the first is about blaming yourself for your partner's infidelity, whether to forgive and forget and whether trust can be rebuilt, and the second is about a woman who's family hated her other half, and how that meant the couple broke up in spite of being in love. She asks whether they should rekindle what they once had, knowing the family's problem will still be there.
#50: Why a little bottle of lube could change your sex life (for the better!) and more
In this week's episode, which fits neatly in as another in our 'Current Affair' series, my guest Andrea Doyle and I discuss dating during Covid with some hard-hitting (ish) stats about how many relationships are in trouble, how many people are googling "Do I love my boyfriend" and how there's a porn site with a panic button. We hit you with all the up-to-date sex and relationships news you need for the week ahead (and like, these are stats you could realistically use in a quiz!!!). Enjoy!
#49: Pandemic Penis chats with Catherine Carton
The wonderful and joy-bringing Catherine joins me again to talk about her #pandemicpenis insights – she's basically been getting an unusual amount of post-9pm "how are you?" messages from her ghosts of dating times past. She's as honest as always, cheered me right up and got very philosophical all in the one episode. Hope you enjoy.
#48: Love and the Coronavirus, with Fionnuala Jones and Matt Damon**
**Matt actually couldn't join us but we did talk about him being stuck in Dalkey for quite some time. Meanwhile, Fionnuala is living apart from her BF and I'm holed up 24/7 with the man I willingly chose to marry – who's in a worse posish here? We talk about getting the ride, arguments and love in general in this new world we live in where the two-metre rule is being strictly enforced. With a special fleshlight shout out, this is an unmissable episode if I do say so myself.
#47: Does your vaj bounce back after babies and will you feel sexy again?
My guest Sophie White and I talk very candidly about, well, loads of things about sex after having babies that I have absolutely no knowledge of or experience in. We talked about Sophie's vajmageddon, how to reframe yourself as someone who has sex again after your body being occupied territory, and how we actually should be saying VULVA a lot more. Enjoy!
#46: The morning after pill, rinsing condoms and embarrassing sex stories
This week my guest for another instalment of The Current Affait, Andrea and I have the inevitable Coronavirus chat, we debunk myths about the morning after pill and we confirm if it’s okay to rinse and reuse a condom. SPOILER: it is NOT.
#45: Sex dreams and hidden dildos
This episode is a bit of a sexy smorgasbord – continental or wha?! I chat to Ciara Rapple, a textiles designer who makes scarves printed with sexual paraphernalia (and then wears them on the DART). I answer one Agony Aunt style question that came in about a guy who's having his cake and eating it too. And I also talk with no great authority about sex dreams, and why you might dream of riding your boss.
#44: SPOILER ALERT! Why shows like Love is Blind & Love Island are lying to us about love
The inimitable Cassie Delaney joins me today with All The Feelings about the exercise in insanity that is Love is Blind on Netflix. We talk about how it portrays a toxic and frankly ridiculous version of 'love' and how that skewed version is infiltrating IRL relationships. We also talk about how statements like "I'm happy, but could I be happier" (hello, Wes from Love Island) are inherently shite. Welcome to our Ted Talk.
#43: How to not f*ck up a first date, with Jennifer Haskins
Jennifer Haskins from Two's Company dating service joins me to chat all things first impressions. Why you shouldn't get too hammered on a first date, why you should wear what you feel good in, and what personality traits you'll be most drawn to based on what you yourself might be lacking in. Two matchmakers in two weeks - unplanned, needless to say, but in this game, beggars can't be choosers.
#42: Valentine's Day: Are we all still bothered?!
In this episode, the first in our Current Affair series, Andrea Doyle and I chat about Valentine's Day, the rates of male sexual dysfunction in adult entertainers (strippers) and we look at the latest statistics from Bumble, who surveyed their users on what online dating is really like. In which country are you most likely to get ghosted? FIND OUT. You won't like the answer.
#41: Matchmaking: Last resort or the best route to real love?
Dating coach and matchmaker Mairéad Loughman joins me this week to discuss compatibility, building the perfect bio, what you need to do before you even enter the world of dating and whether using a matchmaker might be a great route to love. And Mairéad tells me how many celebrity clients she currently has on her books...
#40: “Worthless and confused” - when a new relationship leaves you doubting yourself
Today it’s just me! Answering your questions sent in on Instagram. I talk about dating someone who’s intentions are totally unclear, asking your other half not to drink any more and also, should you move country to settle in your other half’s home?
#39: A deep dive into the Kardashian/Jenner relationship minefield with Kate Demolder
Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kris, Kaitlin, Kendall, Kylie, Kanye, Kinder eggs, Kelloggs, Kindle, Kylemore Road... wait, sorry, where was I? We chat in great detail about the various marriages, infidelities and otherwise romantic affairs of the world's second most-famous family - the royals probably still take that title. Enjoy!
#38: Are you in unrequited love?
Niamh O’Sullivan is back as a returning guest to chat about the different types of love, and how to handle yourself if you’re in love with someone who is totally unavailable.
#37: Paddy Smyth on finding love, feeling attractive and being okay with maybe ending up alone
In the first episode of the actual decade, I talked to disabled activist and self-titled "reality TV whore" Paddy Smyth, who, in his usual sound way, made me forget there were microphones and chat as though we were pals catching up. His openness and honesty about life and love is refreshing. There's a further deep dive into Paddy's love life on my Patreon page (www.patreon.com/aislingmkeenan) should you want to hear more.
#36: Teetotal tales: Dating, relationships and life as a non-drinker
Does not drinking cause arguments in my marriage? Do I have awkward drunk sex? And why I got into a flaming row with my husband and best friend over whether or not to tell people in advance that I don’t drink. That an led more in this, the last Private Education episode of the DECADE. Enjoy!
#35: “I got a text from my Bumble date’s ex wife” - tales from the dating front line with Andrea Doyle
We talk extensively about dating a possible narcissist, getting texts from your date’s ex, and an ex of mine who I suspected might be doing mind manipulation tricks on me. All that and more, enjoy!
#34: How to help a partner who has anxiety, with Caroline Foran
In my second episode with Caroline, we talk about how you can be a better friend or romantic partner if the person you're with is struggling with anxiety. We also talk about how you can advise your partner and explain how you're feeling if you're the one experiencing it. We talk about the guilt around it, normalising it and how you can educate yourself and those close to you.
#33: Friendship break-ups: Are they harder than romantic break-ups? With Orla McConnon
Orla and I talk about friendships of ours that ended, whether with a fight or a fizzle, and question why it is that friendships ending aren't grieved they way romantic break-ups are. We talk about why friendships end, and Orla basically gives me free therapy about a friendship that ended for me after 16 years. That and lots more!
#32: Celebrity cheating scandals with Caitlin McBride
We talk about the couples that shocked us with their cheating scandals (from Tiger Woods to Brad Pitt) we talk in (too much) depth about the royals, we get into a serious deep dive about Meghan Markle and we list the couples that, where they to break up, would make us lose all faith in love. There are tangents, there are sweeping generalisations and there's a five-minute ode to Chrissy Teigen.
#31: Being the other woman, and when should dating become 'official', with Niamh O'Sullivan
In this agony aunt-style episode, influencer Niamh O'Sullivan and I answer some of the questions listeners to the podcast have sent in. We hear from a woman who is currently casually seeing her ex, but he's still with the girl he cheated on her with. Complicated, to say the least. We also look at when your casual dating relationship should become official, and how to approach it when your partner can't finish during sex. All that and more!
#30: Is sex really all it’s cracked up to be? With Caroline Foran
Do you ever feel like sex isn’t for you, isn’t about you, or isn’t all it’s cracked up to be? Author Caroline Foran felt that way in her teens and twenties, and she talks to me in this episode so honestly about her experience and how eventually she found herself, her ability to orgasm and the point of the whole endeavour.
#29: Richie Sadlier on consent, and getting comfortable talking about sex
Former Ireland international footballer turned psychotherapist Richie Sadlier talks to me about teaching teenage boys about consent, and the lessons we can all learn from communicating more freely about sex and intimacy
#28: Workplace romances and dealing with rejection, with Jo Linehan
We answer a listener question about what started out as a juicy office affair and has now gotten more serious, complicated and could result in the person losing their job. We also chat about rejection in relationships, whether that's sexual rejection or the hundreds of micro-rejections we experience every day from the people we love the most.
#27: Knowing when it’s over (and the tests to do when you’re not sure) with Laura Cunningham
Laura is back to chat to me about the long goodbye - staying in a relationship you know is over out of fear of being single, fear of making a mistake, or just because it’s easier. We also talk a bit about why Love Island is basically the Gaeltacht. Enjoy!
#26: What constitutes cheating, and how to rebuild trust in a relationship
It’s just me today, sincere apologies in advance. I really hope you enjoy listening to me talk to myself for 45 solid minutes - the majority of it is me complaining but there are some nuggets of advice weaved in among my shite talk. Bon Voyage.
#25: Sexual habits you need to learn (and more) with Melanie Murphy
Youtube star and author Melanie Murphy is my guest this week. We met at a dinner and within about three minutes were comfortably swapping sex stories, threesome tales and more. She is the ideal Private Education guest, having spoken at length on her Youtube channel about her bisexuality, sexual habits, orgasm confessions and more.
#24: Having the ride while also having a child...Your questions, answered with Niamh Cooney
Last week's episode dealt with pregnancy sex, getting back to it post-partum and lots more. This week, Niamh and I talk about how to plan sex into your life, how your relationships change when you've got children and we also answer lots of questions from you guys, the lovely listeners, about parenthood and sex, getting your mojo back and so much more.
#23: Pregnant sex, post-partum sex and feeling "all touched out" with Niamh Cooney (part 1)
Anyone expecting a baby or struggling to get their sex life back after your baby is born, this one is for you. Mother-of-one Niamh is a former nurse, and she's been through it all when it comes to pregnancy sex, sex while breastfeeding and trying to get her libido back on track after having her daughter. She talks so honestly in this episode about the worries of expectant and new mothers: everything from being too sick to be horny, worrying about poking the baby's head and not wanting her husband to touch her for weeks on end.
#22: Your questions, answered by me... apologies in advance!
This week I turned the tables and am being the interviewee. You guys sent in questions about my life, questions you wanted my opinion on and questions you’d never shared before, and I did my best with them. Enjoy! And sorry. Genuinely, my advice is basically useless on all counts.
#21: The male perspective: An honest, single man talks dating, relationships, sex and more
This episode, I'm joined by Abe Neihum, a straight, single man who was willing to be completely honest about things like using Tinder just to hook up, why most of his relationships don't last past six months, why heartbreak changed him and how he feels women deserve to be treated. This is a juicy one.
#20: Embracing single life, and being the inadvertent other woman, with Ali Ryan
CEO of Goss Media Ali Ryan doesn’t always have time for a relationship, but when she does, she gives it her all, just like in business. This episode covers both the good and bad parts of singledom, and why online dating doesn’t work for some people.
#19: The consequences of sharing your relationship online with Joanne Larby
Today’s guest is Joanne Larby, formerly known as Makeup Fairy, whose relationship history has been analysed, picked apart and commented on by thousands of followers online. We talked about having no regrets, growing after a toxic relationship, body image and learning to love yourself before anyone else can love you.
#18: Keeping the sex magic alive, buying vibrators and sex drive imbalances with Fionnuala Jones
FionnualaJay saved the day - so many of you requested her back on as a repeat guest and because it's my life's ambition to be her best mate, I said okay. She and I answer questions sent in by regular listeners to the podcast on topics such as cheating, buying sex toys, reconciling with an ex, sex drives in men and women, and even one question about being too wet during sex. All that and more! Enjoy, and thanks for listening.
#17: Heartbreak, healing and moving on after divorce, with Ellen Kavanagh Jones
When I asked Ellen to come on the podcast and chat about divorce, I had no idea how much I was going to learn. She talks so honestly and bravely about her life - meeting her first husband at 17, him being 13 years her senior, getting divorced after just two years, the mixture of sadness and relief, getting remarried, blending families and how through it all she managed to set up and run her incredibly successful company, Waxperts. We discussed how to approach a situation where a friend might be stuck in an unhealthy relationship, how to support and advise them, and how you can't move on until you're ready.
#16: When sex alone just doesn't make a baby, with Will de Korte and Joanne Constantine
I thought I knew the basics about fertility and it's unwelcome comrade, infertility, until I spoke to the incredibly brave Joanne and Will about their journey to conceive. Having spent time trying to have a baby, they couldn't seem to get pregnant naturally, and so began a process that would see them spend all their savings, get into debt, endure physical trauma and emotional pain, all in an effort to have a family. Anyone who's so much as considering having children in future should listen to this.
#15: Navigating the online dating minefield, with Andrea Doyle
Ghosting, breadcrumbing, haunting, kittenfishing, zombieing... Do you text first? When do you take it offline? What apps should you use? WHAT do you write in your bio?! All these dating questions, and so many more, answered and discussed through the lens of Andrea Doyle, who is currently traversing the tough 2019 dating terrain.
#14: Would you rather? With Karen Constantine and Catherine Carton
Would you rather have a recording of all your sexual encounters sent to everyone on your Whatsapp, or have Morgan Freeman live narrate every single time you have sex? This VITAL question, and loads more, answered by Catherine and Karen in this week's episode. It's purely for fun, a total laugh and in truth, there's not much to be learned. But for a bit of Friday escapism, it's ideal. Enjoy!
#13: Has Tinder made women disposable? With Alex Slye
Alex is single, dating and confident in herself, and yet, age 49, men her age are interested in 30-year-olds. We talk about how online dating has made women disposable, how you can have disastrous sex with someone twenty years your junior, and how Alex thinks women in their late 40s are 'invisible' and not represented in the media, and therefore as romantic prospects.
#12: Getting back with your ex, with Orla McConnon
Should you or shouldn’t you? Are you just asking for trouble? Are they an ex for a reason? We’ve both done it, and talk about the pros and cons and the one thing you need to be sure of before you do. Orla also chats about long distance relationships and we answer a listener question - a man who wants permission to have sex with someone while his girlfriend is living in another country.
#11: You only have one life, why not masturbate?! With Jeanne Sutton
Jeanne wrote a fascinating essay on the world of podcast porn and audio porn as part of her masters in Science Communication and I spoke to her all about the topic - which until she contacted me, I had never heard about. Who knew there was a big market for audio porn?! We talked all about the evolution of it and whether podcast porn is public transport appropriate...
#10: Girls Who Love Girls With Cassie Stokes and Madison Cawley
I asked Cassie and Madison all the questions I had about being a gay girl, and their answers were incredible. No holds barred, they shared their contrasting experiences of coming out, their likes and dislikes, what sort of lesbian porn terrifies them and more.