Queerly Yours

Moss and Angela talk about how their experiences of queerness, transness, and neurodivergence intertwine to inform how they see themselves and shape what they want and need in relationships. It's not always an easy experience, but it's valuable, and has lead them towards some forms of care and affection that they wouldn't have developed otherwise.

Content warning: This episode contains lengthy discussions of ableism and brief mentions of racism, relationship abuse, and the unsettling commonness of active shooters in the United States.

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Angela and Moss talk about gender norms! They're in media, they're embedded in cultural structures and histories, and they're definitely in our relationships. They've especially been on Moss' mind ever since they started talking about "cis core" home goods and fashion online and got flooded with responses about people's varied experiences of gender and consumerism. What does it feel like to try and notice, acknowledge, and untangle gender norms as a trans person? It's a topic that's definitely bigger than one episode can cover, but the hosts give it a try!

Content warning: this episode includes some references to/discussions of institutional racism, intimate partner violence, gender dysphoria, and suicidal ideation.

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Moss and Angela are back from hiatus, and a lot has changed! Your hosts are the same, but Moss has a new name and is currently recovering from top surgery. The pair dive back into podcasting with reflections on that surgical care and recovery process, and what it has revealed and affirmed about their relationship. (This episode was recorded in mid-January 2021 but is being released mid-February because getting out of hiatus is hard).

Content warning: this episode discusses physical and emotional elements of undergoing, recovering from, and caring for someone recovering from, surgery. The physical descriptions are not gory or detailed, but Moss does touch on topics like nipple grafts, surgical drains, anesthesia, and post-surgery constipation risks.

Naomi and Angela are back from hiatus, and they're ready to dig into a fairly meta topic - the pros and pitfalls that can arise when you're working on a shared creative project with one or more close partners. They reflect on the ways that they have experienced both successes and stresses in artistic collaborations, and offer thoughts on how to check in about projects that need to be reshaped, adjusted, or scrapped to better support the actual needs and desires of the collaborators. This episode was recorded in November 2019 and edited in February 2020, because sometimes creative work has to land on the back burner due to life, but the hosts are glad to be bringing Queerly Yours back to you and your earbuds!

Naomi and Angela answer a listener question about how to balance dating with other major life commitments like work and school. What do you do when you want to make new connections with people but the process feels time consuming or overwhelming? The hosts discuss multi-purpose ways to socialize, the general exhaustion of life under capitalism, and why folks who worry about their dating inexperience might already have more relevant social skills than they realize.

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Angela and Naomi discuss what bisexuality means to them personally as well as the ways that the term operates socially and culturally in their broader communities. They dig into bisexual stereotypes, terminology overlap, and how there’s no required timeline for developing an understanding of your sexuality or gender because compulsory heterosexuality is a huge mess for all of us.

Naomi and Angela talk about Pride, exploring what it means to them and how it culturally operates as a protest, a parade, a philosophy, and more. Angela talks about how race and disability can affect experiences of and connections to Pride events. Naomi shares what they make sure to carry when attending big outdoor festivals, and suggests ways for allies/accomplices to show up for LGBTQ+ folks this month and every month.

Angela and Naomi talk about how to access therapy if you're not sure what it would be like/if it's the right choice for you. They share perspectives on how therapy has helped them personally and within relationships, and note some red and green flags to look for when deciding if a therapist is a good match for your needs as a client.

Naomi and Angela are moving in together soon! To celebrate, they reflect on past shared living experiences (with each other and others) and discuss the key themes they've found helpful for fostering comfortable, communicative roommate dynamics.

Angela and Naomi break from their standard format for a previously hinted at special episode, and play a two-person tabletop roleplaying game about communication and intimacy (and also giant robots). Listen in for some silliness, some tenderness, some deep space machine repair, Naomi’s first foray into sci-fi audio editing, and Angela sneaking in a meme-based prank.

Naomi and Angela talk about some of their hobbies, both ones they share and ones they enjoy separately, and offer strategies for supporting your partner's hobbies while also being honest about your own level of interest (or lack thereof) in the things they enjoy. The hosts also discuss the concept of the "man cave" in more analytic depth than it probably deserves.

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Angela and Naomi talk about what polyamory means to them, common assumptions and misconceptions around the concept, and pitfalls to avoid when exploring a relationship format that is new to you.

Naomi and Angela answer a listener prompt about how to handle mistakes, failures, and forgiveness in relationships. Listen in to hear about owning up to mistakes, some of the ingredients of a good apology, cases when apologies aren't the solution, and ways to reflect on controlling impulses in oneself and in others.

Content warning: this episode contains some discussion of dynamics of abuse and control in intimate relationships.

In a special episode format, hosts Angela and Naomi posed a question to the Internet - what relationship advice do you wish you could give your teenage self? Join them as they sort through and reflect on a range of sweet, tender, funny, and intense answers that all of us can learn from. 

Content warning: this episode contains brief discussion of abusive relationships.

This episode also has a few audio glitches that couldn't be easily caught via editing without also cutting out a lot of wonderful quotes and conversation, so expect occasional short sections of audio with faint background fuzz, clicks, or thunks, and thank you for bearing with us!

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Join Naomi and Angela for a Valentine's Day special about sidestepping social norms, connecting genuinely with those you love, and figuring out what romance really means to you and your partner(s). If you're not sure how to talk about the ways that cultural expectations around Valentine's Day gifts, intimacy, and affection affect your relationship(s), this is a great episode for you. If you're not sure how you feel about romantic gestures or holidays in general, this is a great episode for you. If you are hyped about romance and want to dig deeper into what it means to you and others, this is also a great episode for you! Basically what we're saying is that it's a great episode for this, or any, season.

If you've ever been unsure of how to describe or summarize the Queerly Yours podcast when sharing it with others, this channel trailer is the solution! Learn a little bit about what make this show special, then check out any of our full, ad-free episodes on your favorite podcatcher.

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Angela and Naomi both love tabletop roleplaying games (RPGs)! In fact, they love them so much that they decided to make a whole episode about how relationship dynamics can operate in games, and how their philosophies around games and relationships interconnect and inform each other. The hosts journey into topics like game group dynamics, consent in nonsexual social situations, the role(s) of RPGs in queer and trans community building, and games as relationship metaphors.

Naomi and Angela approach another listener question - what are some of the challenges and joys that can occur when one or more people in a relationship develop a new understanding of their gender? The hosts share their own experiences, as well as tips on how to be a thoughtful partner to someone gender questioning and/or kind to yourself around your own gender journey.

Content warning: this episode contains brief mentions of sexual assault and gender dysphoria.

Angela and Naomi ring in the New Year by sharing some personal experiences and advice related to mental health and relationships. Buckle up for a thoughtful journey through tough and tender topics.

Content warning: this episode contains brief mentions of PTSD and sexual assault, and some discussion of disordered eating, medical crises, and suicidal ideation.

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