NVC Life with Rachelle Lamb

An exploration of the sometimes tumultuous relationship between mothers and daughters

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In this episode: different names for the moon, Earth Day mission statement, excerpts from an interview with Martín Prechtel by Derrick Jensen, a poem titled: Where Am I? (Strange World)

"Even to think that we're separated from nature is somehow a thought thinking disorder. You can't be separated from nature." These are the words of the great Jungian psychologist James Hillman. Listen to this episode to hear more about how we're going crazy.

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Nonviolent Communication is often described as a process that, when put into practice, can support people to live in a world where everyone’s needs matter and are met through natural compassionate giving. Is this even possible?

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Remembering Marshall Rosenberg who left our beautiful planet on this very day in 2015.

To view or purchase Marshall's books:

A glimpse into Alain de Botton's insightful book: The Course of Love (Simon & Schuster 2016) about a married couple's relationship struggles. Highly relatable!

Buy the book:

Did you know that according to market analysis reports, the global personal development market size was estimated at USD 43.77 billion in 2022 and is anticipated to grow at a compound annual growth rate of 5.5% to 2030. Are we better people I wonder as a result? Are we better listeners? 

Book Resource:

This episode reexamines the concepts of duty and obligation as referenced in Nonviolent Communication. Might there be merit in rehabilitating these terms and understanding them as a meaningful way to contribute to life?

"We don’t want people to do things out of obligation or duty, or out of guilt or shame, or to buy love. With some consciousness, I’m confident we would each see that we only want people to do things if they can do it willingly, because they clearly see how it’s going to enrich life if they do. Any other reason for doing things is likely to create conditions that make it harder for people in the future to behave in a compassionate way toward one another." —Marshall Rosenberg

In today's episode I speak with Dr. Joshua Coleman who is a recognized expert on the rapidly growing phenomenon of parental estrangement. He has written two books on the subject and provides ongoing support to parents, as well as grandparents, who struggle with being cut out of their adult children's lives.

In Dr. Coleman's words: "While there’s nothing especially modern about family conflict or a desire to feel insulated from it, conceptualizing the estrangement of a family member as an expression of personal growth as it is commonly done today is almost certainly new." (AEON Jan 2021 article)

This episode features an excerpt from a conversation with relationship coach Dolphin Kasper who invited me to his podcast The Better Relationship Podcast. The subject: our learned separation.

Last week I shared Part 1 of a conversation I had with Sofie De Wulf, Outreach & Programs Coordinator for NVC Academy. Here is Part 2 of our conversation where Sofie and I discuss ecology, our relationship with nature, our lived separation from nature and from each other, how we speak about needs, as well as how people concretely benefit from learning Nonviolent Communication.

Learn more about the course I will be offering in Feb/Mar 2024 through the NVC Academy:

In this episode, I share a conversation I had recently with Sofie De Wulf, Outreach & Programs Coordinator for NVC Academy. NVC Academy offers hundreds of online courses and resources to learn Nonviolent Communication from home and they have invited me to present a course in February and March of 2024 titled Bridging Differences, Building Bonds: A Revolutionary Approach to Resolving Conflict. I enjoyed my conversation with Sofie so much that I'm sharing it here. This is part 1 of our conversation. Part 2 will be aired next week.

Learn more about the course I will be offering in Feb/Mar 2024:

In this episode, I explore one of my all time favourite books by psychologist and author David Richo titled The Five Things We Cannot Change .. and the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them. (Shambala Publications 2005)

Get the book:

In this episode I share some of my own feelings, thoughts and wonderings after viewing "Investigating Buffy Sainte-Marie’s claims to Indigenous ancestry" produced by The Fifth Estate.

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In this episode most of what listeners will hear are the words of Marshall Rosenberg curated from various sources and that speak directly to the dilemmas that human beings must wrestle with in the face of war. 

Resource links:

Indigenous cultures the world over make it a daily practice to praise and appreciate the natural world. Such a practice would have the effect of keeping the natural world and the nature of our relationship with the natural world central to our awareness and to any decisions we make .. which in turn would deepen our connection with the natural world as well as with each other.

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Do you ever wonder what it means to be a healthy person? This episode, following the September 30th Day of Truth and Reconciliation in Canada, explores the question of individual and collective health and highlights the work of retired Canadian assistant Crown Attorney Rupert Ross who has authored several books on Indigenous healing and justice.

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An episode that traces a connection between how humans understand their place in the world and the high levels of separation that plague humans in their interpersonal relationships with each other and with the world around them.

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NeverLand with Stephen Jenkinson: https://youtu.be/4EF1rcbGxHE?si=aywpm5Ii1O6BCSTL

On August 23rd, An Ontario court ruled against Jordan Peterson Wednesday, and upheld the regulatory body Ontario College of Psychologists decision, that he take social media training, a ruling that many consider to be a chilling development for the future of free speech for Canadians. 

This episode explores how this ruling may impact free speech in Canada.

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It's 'Back to School' time! This episode cites the words of author and teacher John Taylor Gatto as he provides readers with the troubling lessons that he teaches children as dictated by the US education system.

In Taylor Gatto's own words:

The first lesson I teach is confusion. 

The second lesson I teach is class position.

The third lesson I teach is indifference.

The fourth lesson I teach is emotional dependency.

The fifth lesson I teach is intellectual dependency.

The sixth lesson I teach is provisional self-esteem.

The seventh lesson I teach is that you can’t hide.

"Schools teach exactly what they are meant to teach and they do it well — how to be a good Egyptian and know your place in the pyramid."

—John Taylor Gatto

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Developing skillfulness around conflict doesn’t mean that all relationships endure and that we live happily ever after, it does mean however that our way of being with each other can be less prone to being contaminated by poor communication habits .. those tragic reflexes mired in blame and hostility that are so unproductive. Developing skillfulness means learning conflict, learning what it asks of us and how to navigate its tricky mysterious terrain. 

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In this episode, I share a story from a book published in 1992 titled Millennium: Tribal Wisdom and the Modern World written by anthropologist David Maybury-Lewis. As I consider this story, I encounter a different way of thinking, a vastly different orientation around what it means to live communally, to cooperate, to understand the world and one’s place in it.

Welcome to Episode 1 of my 2nd year of podcasting! This is episode explores the question: should I end our relationship?

Inspiration:

So today is episode 52 .. a whole year of podcasting! So what to talk about on this episode? In last week’s episode Our modern obsession with comfort, I read from Jean Liedloff’s book The Continuum Concept. The truth is, there was more I wanted to read from her book but I decided to reserve it for another episode .. today’s episode! I hope you'll join me as we go fetch water with a group of Yequana women.

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This episode explores modern culture’s obsession with comfort, including its relatives: ease, convenience and efficiency.

Questions for reflection:

• Where did you inherit your ideas about comfort?
• How does the strong need for comfort, ease, convenience direct your thinking, your biases, your choices?
• How does our modern obsession with comfort impact our capacity to be human, to belong to a place, and to live in accord with life itself?

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It could be said, that in spite of the fact that many of us living in today’s modern world experience longer lives, greater affluence and far more safety than our ancestors did, it doesn’t register as good fortune in our minds. While it's probable that something is missing and that something isn’t quite right from our lives, it's probably not safety.

This episode is an exploration into the need for safety and makes reference to an earlier episode published in Oct 2022:

This episode asks the question: How can we possibly know what we need when we're so disconnected from the natural world that we are so dependant on?

"Our society is made up of vast numbers of traumatized individuals, and our culture has come into being through universally traumatizing process." —Chellis Glendinning

"We've had a hundred years of analysis, and people are getting more and more sensitive, and the world is getting worse and worse. Maybe it's time to look at that." —James Hillman

Episode resources:

In this episode, I have the privilege of introducing you to renowned storyteller and mythologist, Dr. Martin Shaw. Dr Shaw was born and raised in England and is author of seventeen books, including "A Branch from the Lightning Tree: Ecstatic Myth and the Grace of Wildness”, ”Snowy Tower: Parzival and the Wet, Black Branch of Language,” and “Scatterlings, Getting Claimed in the age of Amnesia” Each book showcases Shaw's unique ability to weave together ancient wisdom, poetic language, and a deep understanding of the human psyche. Eric Utne, founder of the Utne Reader says of Martin: “Martin Shaw is a conjurer, a 13th century troubadour dropped in our midst. He breathes into his characters a beating pulse, agile speech and bedazzling wit. Catch him anyway you can.”

Shaw recently completed a 2 week tour across Canada and I had the great pleasure of spending time with him at his final stop in Victoria BC before his return to the UK. Martin graciously agreed to join me in a conversation on my podcast. I hope you enjoy our conversation as much as I did! 

Where to find Dr. Martin Shaw:

Following last week's episode on Borderline Personality Disorder, this episode explores one of the more effective treatments for the condition: Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (aka DBT) developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan.

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May is Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness month, and while many people may believe that their lives are not touched by this disorder, the chances are even higher that you know someone who is either diagnosed or undiagnosed with borderline personality disorder, also known as BPD. This episode aims to reduce stigma and raise awareness on a painful condition that people can recover from when they are able to recognize symptoms and receive proper treatment.

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This episode examines "enemy images" and how the practice of Nonviolent Communication is so effective in transforming those negative and destructive images into a language that can facilitate connection across differences.

"To create the world that exemplifies our values, we need to liberate ourselves from enemy images — the thinking that says there is something wrong with the people whose actions or values we don’t agree with. Whether our enemy images are with politicians, individuals with religions convictions different from our own, leaders of the corporate world, or our neighbors next door, lasting social change isn’t possible until we learn how to transform these enemy images."

—Marshall Rosenberg, PhD., Speak Peace in a World of Conflict (PuddleDancer Press, 2005)