Real Vibes Only

What happened to you? Listening to the answer to this question for ourselves and others helps shift the framework of how we view our experiences and their impact. "Listening to Trauma" is a new curriculum created by Karen Iverson Riggers and Lynn McLaughlin that seeks to deepen understanding of trauma and how to support our own healing and the healing of others. Listening to Trauma explores what trauma is, the types of trauma we might experience, the effects of trauma, and paths to healing. Connection is prevention, and when our stories are believed, we can begin to heal.

How often have you tried to share difficulties with another person and you experience dismissal, minimization or deflection. It's hard saying life is hard! Yes having struggles or challenges in life is a normal part of our human experience and it does not mean you are difficult, defective or less than any other person. Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through the hard parts of their lives and fully embrace them as part of being human.

Every experience we have ever had creates a personal perception lens with which we see the world. In order to connect with others and meet them where they are requires us to set aside what we know based on our experiences alone. To create relationship and connection, we need to approach people with curiosity and an open mind that creates space for definition and understanding. Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through their experiences of meeting people where they are.

THIS IS OUR 50TH EPISODE FRIENDS! When we began our journey as podcasters on May 17, 2022, we had no idea what would become of "Real Vibes Only." All we knew for certain was that we were committed to sharing in real, authentic ways what we were learning about ourselves and others engaged through our training, presentations and Community Living Room. 22 months later and we are celebrating our 50th episode and a deeper connection with ourselves and each of you! Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Disclaimer: Like all of our episodes, this episode is produced in an amateur-ish, very simple fashion. No editing or embellishing. Therefore, you will need to add your own bells and whistles to help us celebrate our 50th episode!

Doesn't it always feel like there is always someone who is smarter, more capable or better at navigating life than we are? Let me fill you in on a secret. There is NO ONE more qualified to live your life or make decisions about your life than YOU. The problem is that we are taught to look for our answers outside of ourselves and are rarely taught to trust ourselves to know what's best. Like any new skill or muscle, it takes practice and repetition to get good at it. Join Lynn and Karen as they talk through their own journeys of learning to trust themselves and encourage you to do the same.

There are so many pieces of life that are simple in concept, but are not easy to implement. Working with emotions, supporting others, and essentially a lot of the framework of Emotional CPR is simple ... but sitting with the discomfort, practicing new ways of engaging with others, and deepening our relationship with ourselves is anything but easy. Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through the "simple things" and acknowledge how difficult they can be and how important self-compassion is to our process.

As human beings, most of us cringe at the word "fail" or "failure" because it can feel like success eluded us. But what if it could be reframed in a way that had a gentle and encouraging meaning? Join Lynn and Karen as they share a new acronym that can accomplish just that!

Our lives are filled with uncertainty. This was amplified exponentially when we were in the throes of a pandemic. Not only did we have questions specific to the pandemic, but political divide and the the rampant distribution of misinformation created even more uncertainty. Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through the discomfort of uncertainty and the importance of feeling our emotions to move beyond it.

Remember the childhood game "Chutes & Ladders?" Our journey of self-awareness can be similar. Sometimes we slide backwards and sometimes we are able to move forward in life in big ways. And, even with the discomfort that results, both pieces are important to our journey. Join Karen and Lynn as they sift through their awareness embracing their “Chutes & Ladders” in the process.

January hits and the dark, cold reality of winter often sets in for people. But it is exactly as nature intended. It provides us with time to journey inward and learn more about ourselves. In nature, many creatures hibernate. Winter gives us the opportunity to slow down, rest our bodies, and listen to what our bodies actually need. Join Lynn & Karen as they talk through the hard spots and opportunities that winter provides.

We all experience moments of frustration or anger with ourselves. Whether it's making a mistake or falling back into old patterns or hurting someone we love, it is normal to experience emotions in response to our words or actions. But somewhere along the way, the unresolved anger and frustration turns into an inner critic or bully and results in feelings of shame. Join Lynn and Karen as they take a lighthearted look at what pisses them off about being them.

Guess what? As human beings, we all create judgments about others. It's important to realize that our judgments are a reflection of our "personal perception lens" vs. anything remotely close to the whole truth. When we can pause and clear our minds of our judgments, we are better able to create and maintain authentic connection with others and ourselves. Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through the challenge of creating space for the unknowing of another's story and holding connection as the goal.

In our current society, many of us have learned through conditioning that we are only acceptable in the world if we are happy. But emotions are biological and all emotions are part of our human experience. How would our world heal if space was created for unconditional acceptance of emotion? Can we create that space for ourselves and others we connect with? Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through the complexities of unconditional acceptance and incorporating it into our daily practice.

The holidays can be such a mixed bag of emotions, stress and the never-ending feeling that we should be doing something. Just take a look at our to-do list ... Right? Give yourself a holiday gift right now and join Karen and Lynn as they talk through holiday stressors and emotional whirlwinds, and then identify what they would like more of this holiday season and what they'd like to let go of.

Our world can seem incredibly dark right now. We witness world events that are broadcast live on social media that show unimaginable human suffering. We witness injustices in our country that impact people's lives and make it increasingly difficult to survive. We hold our individual hardships and challenges and those of our loved ones. Then, add in shortened daylight hours and the cold of winter and things can seem pretty bleak. But we have opportunities to recognize cracks of joy even in the midst of darkness. Join Karen and Lynn as they share more about the concept of cracks of joy when it all feels overwhelming.

There is a lot of talk on resiliency these days. It's used to acknowledge our ability to bounce back or the strength that we have to do hard things. The term resiliency can also be used in a harmful ways. Such as, using it to minimize the impact of the experience or avoid acknowledging that sometimes life is hard. Period. Join Karen and Lynn as they unpack the many layers of resiliency and raise awareness around the language and concepts we use.

Fear is an uncomfortable emotion. Period. Fear is also part of our human experience and it gives us important information about the world we are navigating. Join Lynn and Karen as they talk through their own relationships with fear and their journeys to allow and embrace fear in their lives.

Oftentimes when we are in need of help, we are told by people in the helping profession what we need or what would be helpful rather than having someone ask us directly. You are the expert in your life and know, more than anyone else, what would be helpful in times of need. Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through the ways that help has been unhelpful in their lives and how we can trust and advocate for what we know is helpful for us.

Have you ever been frustrated with another's behavior? Inevitably. One of the most humanizing reactions we can have is the recognition that we frustrate people too. Join Karen and Lynn as they recognize how powerful it can be to adopt a "Just like me" mantra to all of the experiences life can throw our direction.

Fall shows us how beautiful it is to let things go. The leaves changing color and releasing from the tree to become nourishment for the ground. What if we could allow our letting go to nourish us and recognize the beauty in the process? Join Lynn and Karen as they share their experiences with letting go.

We all experience change each and every day. Recognizing and accepting change when it occurs can be challenging. With a short phrase "It's like this now," we can extend self-compassion, love and acceptance to where we are in the present and honor how temporary it can be. Join Lynn and Karen as they talk through the powerful shift that can happen when we stay grounded in the present.

We have all experienced times in our life where we may have felt defective or broken. Navigating life is complicated and hard at times. In our work, Karen and I often share with others the value that we hold that all people are fundamentally whole. We believe that we were born whole and are impacted by a myriad of experiences that cause us to question it. Join us as we share the powerful shift that can occur, in ourselves and our relationship with others, when we embody the concept that there are no broken people.

We are all connected. Whether it is a tragic event that is far from us or one in our backyard, we feel the emotion, grief and empathy as if it is our own. Empathy for the human experience is universal and deeply needed in our world. Join Karen and Lynn as they share their own experiences of connection with near and far and how they navigate through the emotions.

In the work that we do, we often hear about the conditioning and pressure many feel to stay positive or happy. Here's the real deal folks ... it is an impossible ask. As human beings, we all experience ups and downs and moments of no direction at all. So know that whatever you are experiencing, however you are showing up in the world, you are not alone. Join Karen and Lynn as they take a REAL look at all people are carrying and the power of connection to lighten our load..

NEW EPISODE: A primary tenet of the work we do is the power of “Connection as Prevention.” Whether we are talking suicide prevention, mental health challenges, substance use, physical illness or any other condition that creates a feeling of isolation, connection is prevention. In this episode, Karen and Lynn talk through the impact of social isolation and loneliness, how epidemic it truly is, and how connecting with others is key to healing and prevention.

Each of us has learned how to navigate the world through our family, community and collective cultures ... and this includes our relationship with emotion. How do you engage with your own emotions? How do you engage with the emotions of others? Join Karen and Lynn as they unpack all of the conditional messaging we've received and how to unlearn and relearn a more natural, more human way of being with our emotions.

In the last few weeks, we have seen a dramatic increase in the number of people reaching out to us regarding compassion fatigue and burnout. Some are organizations looking for new ways to support their employees. Others are individuals who have reached their tipping point and can no longer function in their work environment due to overwhelm, the ongoing pressure of trying to "catch up," and a feeling of disconnection from themselves and others. Join Karen and Lynn as they describe the impact of compassion fatigue and burnout and how connection and emotional wellness are the keys to change and healing.

Our lives are constantly in transition, but are we aware of how we are navigating them? Karen and Lynn talk through the transitions occurring in their own lives and how creating pause can help us extend empathy to ourselves through the process.

The Impact of Collective Trauma

Life can often provide us with opportunities to reflect on how our life is working. Are there things that are important to us ... that we would like to hold onto? And, are there things that no longer serve us or align with the person we are becoming? In this episode, Karen and Lynn share on ways that they have been reflecting on their lives and the power of holding on and letting go.

What is the Community Living Room? The Community Living Room is grounded in the present, offering a healing space for people to be seen, heard, and valued just as they are. It is focused on present-moment connection and support.

We talk to many people in community through our work and an overwhelming majority of people express feelings of exhaustion. When we take the time to slow down and look at all we are holding, it is not surprising. Join Karen and Lynn as they unpack the many layers of "challenge" that each are holding and how our exhaustion is not only warranted but very, very real.

Join us for the recording from our LIVE podcast hosted by the Women's Fund for the Fox Valley Region - Connection Matters, sponsored by Barbara & William Kelly. Hosts Karen Iverson Riggers and Lynn McLaughlin discuss Normalize a New You: Pandemic Recovery for Women. The global pandemic put our lives on hold. We had so much on our shoulders, we lost people, experiences, and opportunities. We are no longer the same person we were three years ago. Together we explore how we can normalize and give ourselves permission to let go. Connection m

atters, you are not alone.

In the realm of emotion, very often there is a vary narrow box of "acceptable" emotional expression. Too much joy or excitement falls into that category. Join Lynn and Karen as they talk through the very essence of joy and creating space in our life to fully experience it.

Taken from the poem "An Invitation to Brave Space" by Mickey ScottBey Jones, this episode addresses one of the more challenging aspects of being human - acknowledging when we cause harm to another person. And yet, it is inevitable and a piece of the human condition. In this episode, Karen and Lynn talk through their own challenges of causing harm and the process they used to honor their emotions in the mess of it and heal. 

We hear often that we should love ourselves more, but what exactly does that mean and, more importantly, how do we begin to do it? Join Karen Iverson Riggers and Lynn McLaughlin as they talk about their own journeys in self-love.

If you experience moments ... hours ... days of feeling overwhelm, know that you are not alone. The pandemic is still affecting us friends. And, let's be honest, we were feeling the overwhelm and stress of life prior to that. The pandemic just served to amplify it and the feelings of overwhelm are hitting us much more frequently. Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through the feeling of overwhelm, ways that we can acknowledge it and move through it in healthy ways.

Have you ever heard the Albert Einstein quote, "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid." We are all unique human beings with very different life experiences, dreams and aspirations. Yet much of being human has us comparing ourselves to others ... much to our demise. In this episode, Karen and Lynn talk through the challenges of comparison and how we can best embrace and love ourselves exactly as we are.

As we approach the end of the year, people often begin to think of resolutions for themselves in the new year. It's usually something they want to do more of, less of, or completely eliminate. The absolutes of resolutions result in a good/bad or right/wrong outcome which can be filled with shame. What if instead we set an intention for the year? Join Lynn and Karen as they share their 2023 intentions and how they incorporate self-compassion, curiosity and presence throughout the year.

The holiday season is upon us and, although it can be stressful and challenging for many, we can find magical moments to savor. Join Karen and Lynn as they share their own magical moments where they found themselves savoring life. By slowing down, being present and noticing life through our senses, we will find moments to savor every day.

In a world that screams "Urgent! Faster! Do More!" under the veil of capitalism and white supremacy, it is vitally important for each of us to prioritize rest. In her book "Rest is Resistance - A Manifesto," Tricia Hersey talks passionately about rest as a form of resistance and how liberation begins with honoring our bodies. In this episode, Karen and Lynn talk through all of the demands of ordinary life and how the holidays can require us to do even more. Intentionally creating time for rest, as well as sleep, has never been more important to our wellness.

Happy Holidays? Or not so much. For many people, the holidays are anything but happy, and the expectation to feel happy can be incredibly overwhelming. Some people may be dealing with deep grief for people who are no longer part of their holiday celebration. Others may experience a complicated, emotion-filled day with stress, confrontation or unhealthy family dynamics. Whatever your holidays look like, know that the emotions surrounding them are real, valid and ok. Join Karen and Lynn as they talk through the realness of the holidays and slowing down to allow for all of the feels.

According to Gabor Mate, a leading expert on trauma, a child has two needs as they develop. The first is an attachment with the people who help them survive; the second is the need to be authentic. Oftentimes, a child needs to choose between the two ... especially in the realm of emotion. Can I share my emotions authentically? Or do I need to suppress that piece of me to be a good and nice child? Join Karen and Lynn as they dive deep into the connection between the two and how we can begin to heal and show up as our authentic selves.

Have you heard people talk about holding space for others? What in the world does that actually mean, right? Karen and Lynn unpack this concept of supporting people and share how impactful it has been in their own lives.

We hear often about the importance of setting boundaries as a way of practicing self-care, but what about emotional boundaries? Have you ever intentionally created space to become aware of the way your body reacts to the emotions of another? Or how comfortable you are expressing your own emotions? Often times in childhood, we learn through social conditioning within our families, our communities, and our culture, how to dance with our emotions and the emotions of others. Maybe we learned that we should not make our father angry or that we were somehow responsible when our mother cried. All of these complicated pieces come into play as we learn more about our relationship with emotions and the emotional boundaries we create in our lives. Join Karen Iverson Riggers and Lynn McLaughlin as they dive deep into emotional boundaries and how they play out in life.

We live in a culture that values thoughts and logic over emotions. But science has proven the detrimental physical and mental effects of pushing our emotions aside and suppressing them. Join us as we talk about human emotions, the missing piece, in the life journey of wellness!

Parenting is challenging. Parenting is rewarding. Parenting is the greatest work of our lifetime. And yet, there is no manual for it. So how in the world do we know what to do? Find out the essential truth of parenting by joining Karen Iverson Riggers and Lynn McLaughlin as they get REAL about parenting!

Navigating all of the changes in life, big and small, takes intention and space for all of the feels! Join Karen and Lynn (and Karen's son, Ari Asher) as we talk about life changes.

In our world of incredible uncertainty and overwhelm, you may find yourself feeling the extremes of emotion. One moment you are holding hope that everything will work out and you witness random acts of kindness or people who are making a difference. The next moment it feels like we are self-destructing and doomsday is upon us. More than anything, know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Join us as we talk about the extreme polar emotions so many of us are feeling.

One of the most important lessons in life is recognizing that it is oftentimes uncomfortable. This is especially true when it comes to sitting with our emotions and recognizing all of the ways that we avoid discomfort (Think social media, alcohol, food, "doing" obsessed, and a bazillion other ways). Becoming aware of our discomfort and pausing long enough to recognize it is an important piece of self-awareness and growth.