Real Confidence: science, secrets and a touch of tough love

You’re not insecure. You’re just not clear.

Here’s a question that’s caused quite a bit of controversy in the past:

“What’s the opposite of confidence?”

Think about it for a second…..

If you said insecurity, you’re in good company.

If you struggle with speaking in front of an audience, making tough decisions, or believing in yourself after setbacks, you may feel like the root of your problem is being insecure.

Turns out, the dictionary has misled a lot of people about the meaning of confidence.

Check out the next podcast in my Real Confidence series, “The Opposite of Confidence Is Not Insecurity”, I’m sharing why real confidence has a lot more to do with doing what you believe is true for you. You’ll also learn:

• The role of guilt in our lives, and how to overcome it
• Why having certainty about your values is A MUST
• How to figure out which of your hidden needs you’re not serving

“I can’t go to the gym – I don’t look fit enough yet!”

Have you ever walked into the gym and immediately regretted it?

Did you look around the room and see the muscle guys and the matchy-matchy Lululemon sets, and immediately felt your inner confidence run for the hills?

Were you painfully aware of your progress vs. everyone else’s?

Or maybe you just flat out felt like the fattest person in the gym?

Whether it’s at the gym, or in your career, trying new things can be terrifying – especially when you’re at the front of the room.

What we tend to misinterpret is how many other people in the room you shared those same exact feelings – even the ones who look like they know what they’re doing.

In this latest episode of  Real Confidence, I invited incredible personal trainer (and incredible person) Caroline Dawson to talk about lessons in being comfortably vulnerable  – starting with a very familiar confidence-challenging environment.

Learn why reaching your full potential requires making decisions based on what really you want to do – not what you think you can do!

I'm in recovery. But it's not the kind that you think.

Sometimes we fall off the wagon.

In the pursuit of our goals, we may veer off course, lose our sense of purpose, and worst of all, lose confidence in ourselves.

It’s no one’s fault – traumas in life that we cause or other people cause, or in this case, the world's causes can put us into cognitive chaos.

Like a world-wide pandemic.

The question is, how do you recover from falling in a rut – and regain your confidence along the way?

The first step is to make sure that whatever you're set on doing is something that you value need and want.

The second step is to make sure you’re setting yourself up for success….

In this episode of “Real Confidence”, I’ll share what I’ve learned from my own experiences getting my mojo, energy and motivation all back on track after a very long year of chaos.

Listen out for helpful tips like:

• How to make mindful commitments that you actually follow through on
  
• When to check your “cognitive closet” to avoid ongoing decision-fatigue
  
• Why you really need to give yourself (and others) a break more often
  

Whether you’re trying to get back in pre-pandemic shape, get better at reaching out to people that you really care about, or make tough choices about a job you really hate – this episode will help you clear out those COVID cobwebs and make a decision to do something about it!

The Lesson the Older You Wishes You’d Hurry Up and Learn

Around the age of sixty, your confidence starts to peak.

No, it’s not because we’re finally in a place where our experience outweighs all those little nagging doubts.

It’s definitely not a result of some golden state of enlightenment.

It’s actually much simpler than that....

According to research, at that stage of life, we just stop giving a damn what other people think.

Which raises a few interesting questions for confidence seekers on the younger side:

If tomorrow you just stopped caring, how would your life change?

What would you do? What would you stop doing immediately?

Who would you be?

It’s one of those things that I’ve had plenty of conversations with professionals about over the years running ACI. No matter how old we are, no matter our gender or ethnicity, having the confidence to be oneself is a constant battle.

But it doesn’t have to be.

Turning the confidence corner for good starts with accepting a single, simple truth – and freedom from that insidious little devil that’s silently shaping what you believe about yourself, how you perform in the world, and the opportunities will (or won’t) let yourself to accept.

Check out my first podcast in the brand new series, Real Confidence, “Not Everyone is Going To Like You”, and learn how embracing one idea today can help you:

• Liberate yourself from crutch of “selling” to everyone
  
• Start giving yourself permission to like the person in the mirror
  
• Stop feeling alienated and start finding “your people”
  
• Build on constructive criticism to discover a better you, faster

After training 350,000 people, I can confidently say that EVERYONE has some type of confidence challenge. Maybe you are petrified in meetings or God forbid asked to present something.  Maybe certain people make you anxious or you’re in a relationship or job knowing it's not what they want but your past rejections constantly remind you to just suck the current situation up. And what wears down confidence more is the advice given by so-called experts with their well-intentioned motivational hero stories that only make you feel like even a bigger loser.

That’s why we’re both here. We need a better, more scientific and systematic approach. Because real confidence isn’t just about feeling better in a specific situation. It's about BEING confident consistently every time you act, react and interact with everyone. My name is Alyssa Dver and I am the founder and CEO of The American Confidence Institute and a self-proclaimed confidence crusader, neuro nerd and success equalizer.

In the Real Confidence podcasts, I’ll be demystifying some brain science and exposing social secrets. I want to teach you not just what to do but specifically how and why it impacts confidence - yours and everyone else’s.

I want you to be so comfy in your skin that you literally radiate confidence so you naturally inspire and have greater impact in all aspects of your life.  When you have real confidence, you’ll easily do and accomplish the things you really desire and most importantly, you’ll be the person you truly and authentically want to be.

Sound intriguing? Then tune in, subscribe and be part of the real confidence community.  I hope you’ll join us to bring more confidence to the world.