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Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb

By Joe Whitcomb

Progressive Solutions for the Modern Day Relationship. Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapy Methods to Reboot Your Relationship. Helping couples and relationships who have experienced trauma and aversive childhood experiences (ACE's) heal in the couples relationship together and for all for all those who "rage against the dying of the light." My area of expertise consists in helping with difficulties in relationships & social relationships. Copy this link to book a FREE 30 minute consultation - https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship
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Currently playing episode

Finding Joe - What You Can Expect When You Work With Me to Reboot Your Relationship

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb Jan 11, 2020

00:00
47:04
Part 2 - Test for Echo - Triggers are Echoes from Your Past

Part 2 - Test for Echo - Triggers are Echoes from Your Past

Part 2 - Test for Echo - Triggers are Echoes from Your Past

Apr 23, 202029:15
Part 1: Test for Echo - Triggers are Echoes from our Past

Part 1: Test for Echo - Triggers are Echoes from our Past

Test for Echo - Triggers are Echoes from our Past

Apr 23, 202030:26
Part 2: Adult Survivors of Aversive Childhood Experiences and Trauma

Part 2: Adult Survivors of Aversive Childhood Experiences and Trauma

Part 2: Adult Survivors of Aversive Childhood Experiences and Trauma
Apr 07, 202043:29
Part 1: Adult Survivors of Aversive Childhood Experiences and Trauma

Part 1: Adult Survivors of Aversive Childhood Experiences and Trauma

Part one of adult survivors of Aversive Childhood Experiences and Trauma.
Apr 07, 202059:59
Part 2: Fight, Flight or Freeze and co-regulation within and between couples

Part 2: Fight, Flight or Freeze and co-regulation within and between couples

Part 2:  Fight, Flight or Freeze and co-regulation within and between couples

Mar 23, 202056:25
Fear Virus versus Coronavirus - Emotional Contagion

Fear Virus versus Coronavirus - Emotional Contagion

Fear Virus versus Coronavirus - Emotional Contagion
Mar 17, 202005:45
Fight, Flight and Freeze Part One - Stages of Trauma Recovery within and between Couples -

Fight, Flight and Freeze Part One - Stages of Trauma Recovery within and between Couples -

Fight, Flight and Freeze Part One - Stages of Trauma Recovery within and between couples with using trauma-informed relationship psychotherapy method with Joe Whitcomb
Mar 13, 202029:60
Infidelity and Betrayal of Trust is Trauma (PTSR - Post-Traumatic Stress Reordering) Joe Whitcomb - Reboot Your Relationship

Infidelity and Betrayal of Trust is Trauma (PTSR - Post-Traumatic Stress Reordering) Joe Whitcomb - Reboot Your Relationship

Infidelity and Betrayal of Trust is Trauma (PTSR - Post-Traumatic Stress Reordering)

Joe Whitcomb - Reboot Your Relationship 310-560-0726 joe@rebuildingconnection.com 

Mar 11, 202042:49
Part 1 of 2: How to Heal trauma in relationship through safety, connection and intimacy

Part 1 of 2: How to Heal trauma in relationship through safety, connection and intimacy

Part 1 of 2:  How to Heal trauma in relationship through safety, connection and intimacy

Mar 03, 202057:50
Hit the Circuit Breaker on Mutual Injury - Taking Charge of Your Triggers with Time Out

Hit the Circuit Breaker on Mutual Injury - Taking Charge of Your Triggers with Time Out

Hit the Circuit Breaker on Mutual Injury - Taking Charge of Your Triggers with Time Out

Feb 27, 202025:60
Connecting to One of 6 Our Core Human Needs - Admiration and Significance

Connecting to One of 6 Our Core Human Needs - Admiration and Significance

Connecting to One of 6 Our Core Human Needs - Admiration and Significance

Feb 24, 202002:35
Wabi Sabi Love - The Art of Imperfection and Loving the Imperfect

Wabi Sabi Love - The Art of Imperfection and Loving the Imperfect

Wabi Sabi Love - The Art of Imperfection and Loving the Imperfection

Feb 24, 202003:10
Attraction - Beyond Chemistry - Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb

Attraction - Beyond Chemistry - Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb, Licensed Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapist

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb 310-560-0726 or click here to book a FREE 30 Minute Consultation: https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship

"Raging against the dying of the light!"

Volatile couples are often passionate couples. "We love each other and have a good relationship, why we do end up in the same hurtful arguments?" The passion in your relationship is energizing but can also turn into fights accompanied by extreme anger. Often this results in one person withdrawing and both left feeling hurt and misunderstood. I help couples turn volatility into versatility. Volatility is explosive energy; versatility means having choices and tools to use at the right moment while keeping healthy passion alive. My couples are people who have strong relationships but need help breaking patterns that continue having them slip into a vicious cycle and vortex.

Some couples come committed to having their relationship thrive, others come with the intention of working out a divorce that is collaborative and respectful and includes a co-parenting plan that works for the whole family. I also work with couples to create and implement a healthy post-divorce family life.

When couples disagree, most repeat the following disruptive pattern: blame, criticize, defend, express contempt, distance, and emotionally or physically withdraw. Distress is not about how many fights you have or even if you resolve the fights. Distress is about how you fight, and whether you can retain some sort of emotional connection after the fight. While traditional types of marital counseling tend to be open-ended and seek to solve immediate problems, such as continual arguing, by focusing primarily on behavior change and communication skills, my approach hones in on increasing a couple's appreciation for how each partner feels in order to build trust and a secure base they can each rely on. In this approach, couples learn to recognize the negative (vicious) cycle and pattern 'complain-defend-complain-defe nd-complain-defend' they are stuck in, where one person criticizes and the other responds defensively or withdraws. Couples learn to identify the needs and fears that keep them in that cycle. They learn to identify and express their underlying emotions. Partners learn to empathize with each other and become more supportive of each other. Partners come together through the emotional needs they are each expressing, and can begin to comfort each other's needs.

Until a couple is able to identify, acknowledge and ultimately forgive injuries, an emotional gulf persists between them. No matter how dissatisfying things have become and how unhappy or angry partners may be, they each need to feel safe in coming together to work out their problems. Each partner needs to understand the emotions dictating their actions. The emotions behind perceived problems are the key to understanding each other.

Feb 14, 202055:28
Power of One: Taking Charge of Your Love and Your Triggers

Power of One: Taking Charge of Your Love and Your Triggers

Ever feel triggered and I stuck in a reactive tailspin despite all your efforts?


It is from this place — this hooked feeling — that we find ourselves responding in less than ideal ways. These are the moments when we may speak with venom, act out, or completely shut down when faced with challenging situations.


It is only later, when we've had the opportunity to calm down and reflect on our actions, that we wonder where we went wrong and how we could have chosen a more grounded response.


 Today we are going to focus on learning that we have the power and freedom to Choose Something Different, we will examine and illuminate this nebulous process, clearly identifying where and when you have the opportunity to change your habitual response patterns. . . to choose something different. This is One of the principles and practices in our Reboot Your Relationship workshop we will personally walk you through the landscape of these deep emotional and internal thunderstorms and guide you through the tools to cultivate inner freedom and peace. 


What does it mean to be “hooked”?


Maybe it's a comment from a friend about your new shirt or the dinner you just cooked. Maybe it's a look, a glance from a stranger. But something about it sets you off. . .


Your jaw or stomach tightens

Irritation, frustration, or anger begins to arise out of nowhere

Time speeds up

Your mind begins to race

Thoughts about the offending action begin flooding your head — judgments, defenses, accusations...

Whatever you call it . . . You're hooked and your 'Amygdala Hijacked!' 

How do you choose something different?

Develop a subtle awareness for what it actually feels like to be “hooked."


Learn how to recognize the feeling when it first arises and “catch it" quicker


Interrupt the momentum of your habitual responses by slowing down your reactions and 'Notice-what-you-are-noticing!'


Establish alternative forms of responding that come from an expansive sense of self-worth, rather than a constricted place of self-protection.


Get the support you need to reinforce this change and make it a new and active part of your life.


Are you ready to get unhooked?


This exercise is a tool to help us discover the underlying emotions and tools needed to cultivate true inner freedom in your relationships.


“Getting to the heart of the matter…”


Feb 08, 202034:47
You have the Power and Freedom to Choose Something Different...7 Ways You Are Giving Away Your Power

You have the Power and Freedom to Choose Something Different...7 Ways You Are Giving Away Your Power

Joe Whitcomb - Reboot Your Relationship

Feb 02, 202026:02
Relationships and PTSD special Episode for Talk Talk Confidential with Joe Whitcomb - Reboot Your Relationship

Relationships and PTSD special Episode for Talk Talk Confidential with Joe Whitcomb - Reboot Your Relationship

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb 310-560-0726 or click here to book a FREE 30 Minute Consultation: https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship

This podcast is best for couples, relationships, PTSD and those who "rage against the dying of the light." My area of expertise consists in helping with difficulties in relationships & social relationships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy intimacy, healing from a painful break-up or divorce, recovering from major loss, and growing up in aversive childhood experiences, abuse and difficult circumstances.

Joe Whitcomb is a Licensed Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapist.

Feb 01, 202045:41
How To Argue So Your Partner Will Listen - Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb

How To Argue So Your Partner Will Listen - Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb

Click or Copy this link to book a FREE 30 minute consultation to Reboot Your Relationship  - https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship

Communication is a dynamic process of discovery that requires not just love and not just logic, but both love and logic, emotions and intelligence and your heart and brain.   And the secret of this is that if you are more of an emotional/love/heart centered communicator your curriculum is to learn to add the logic, intelligence and our brain.  And if you are more of a logically, intelligence and brain oriented communicator your curriculum is to learn to add the emotional, love and heart into the equation.

Jan 30, 202050:25
Healing Trauma Within and Between Couples and Relationships - Moving Beyond Shame, Blame and Mutual Injury

Healing Trauma Within and Between Couples and Relationships - Moving Beyond Shame, Blame and Mutual Injury

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb 310-560-0726 or click here to schedule a FREE 30 Minute Consultation: https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship

 


This podcast is best for couples, relationships, PTSD and those who "rage against the dying of the light." My area of expertise consists in helping with difficulties in relationships & social relationships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy partnerships.

Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy intimacy, healing from a painful break-up or divorce, recovering from major loss, and growing up in aversive childhood experiences, trauma and difficult circumstances. I am particularly suited to helping those who have cultivated their intellects and creativity but would now like to develop a greater awareness of their emotional world. (Neuroscience of Relationships, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Method, CBT, DBT and EMDR).

Joe's approach is far from being the silent, blank therapist. His approach provides the richest and most depth and exploration of how we love, work, and play.  He works less as a teacher and therapist but more of an awakener and revealing what is already inside all of us that has been repressed or suppressed, process consultant and co-journeyman on all our heroes journey. I am also a 12 year military veteran and treat PTSD and transition. My bias is the relationships need 3 major elements to thrive and not just survive.

1.  Shared Context 

2. Shared Language and Tools

3. A Community and Tribe

Joe's core belief is that we are all born into relationship for relationship, love, connection, belonging.  We learned relationships in the context of relationship.  We have all experienced aversive childhood experiences and trauma where we have  been hurt, wounded and betrayed in relationship by mental, psychological, emotional and sexual abuse, addictions, abandonment, violations of human connection and loss of sense of safety, security and protection.  So, relationship is the crucible to heal our past trauma we re-enact and sometimes feel we can never get beyond the X-Factor.  Relationship is the context we have been wounded in so it is only in the context of relationship that we can be healed, therefore, it is vehicle on the path and practice of love to resolve and repair.

Joe has developed brief 12-24 session relationship programs and intensives for couples to breakthrough the upper limit barriers that block them from experiences the love and intimacy both crave. My couples sessions range from 90-120 minutes and offer several couples weekend intensives for those wanting to go through a deep dive and Reboot Your Relationship.  

Joe Whitcomb is a US Military Veteran and Rescuer,  Relationship Coach/Trainer/Speaker, an attachment-based, emotionally focused therapist, and developer of the Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapy Method which focuses on trauma (PTSD and Aversive Childhood Experiences ACE's) and the impact on relationships, mind, body, emotions, health in couple relations, families, blending step-families, military, veterans, first responders, and adult survivors of childhood abuse/trauma.

What Does it Mean to be Trauma Informed?

Noticing and embracing that trauma is the expectation, not the exception – all beings experience trauma, just different levels - it doesn't matter if you were or are drowning at 1 feet, 7 feet or 21 feet, you were drowning.


Awareness of how trauma effects the brain, body, spirit, sense of safety and security in the world


Asking “What happened to you?” versus “What’s wrong with you?”


Minimize re-victimization and facilitate recovery for all clients in the most culturally sensitive  way we can, taking into account culture, race, gender, sexuality, spirituality, and other factors


Behaviors are understo

Jan 29, 202034:17
Health is Social - Our Relationship with Society - Joe Whitcomb

Health is Social - Our Relationship with Society - Joe Whitcomb

Health is Social.  Life is about relationships...connection is why we are here and what gives us meaning and purpose to our lives.   Joe Whitcomb,  Licensed Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapist

Jan 26, 202003:37
Interview with Smart People Podcasters - Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb

Interview with Smart People Podcasters - Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb

Copy this link to book a FREE 30 minute consultation - https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship

Connection is a human necessity. We need to feel loved and accepted by others, it is a driving force behind much of what we do. Perhaps no connection is stronger than the one we build with a significant other. In these monogamous, intimate relationships, we share our deepest selves and connect on levels never before experienced. This type of relationship can be one of the most exciting, enlightening, spine-tingling, adventures we embark on in our lives. It can provide us with a lifelong friend, confidant, and partner. But as we all know, these relationship require an incredible amount of work and dedication. They take empathy, compassion, understanding, and communication – all the building blocks of a strong bond. And over time, these building blocks can crumble and that bond can weaken. Throughout almost all relationships, each of us will at some point experience negative emotions such as resentment, jealousy, anger, and frustration. When these emotions emerge, it’s hard to work through them and they can force us to disengage and give up. There are a number of ways you can get your relationship back on track and continue to thrive as a couple, but you have to have the right tools. Well open up your toolbox, because this week, we are going to give them to you.

It only takes one person to change a dance.

– Joe Whitcomb


Joe Whitcomb brings more than 20 years of relevant experience to his work as a relationship coach and trauma-informed relationship psychotherapist. With a focus on helping couples connect and communicate at deeper levels, Joe provides effective tools for putting the fun and excitement back into relationships using his proven multidisciplinary approach. Joe earned a B.S. in Psychology with an emphasis in Neuroscience from the University of Maryland College Park. He holds a M.A. in Clinical Psychology and Marriage and Family Therapy from Pepperdine University and a Doctoral Candidate in Psychology and Marriage and Family Therapy from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology. Joe is the CEO of The Relationship Society and author of the new book, Reboot Your Relationship: Restoring Love Through Real Connection in a Disconnected World.

Jan 26, 202043:48
Master communication with your partner with Love (Heart/Emotional) and Logic (Brain/Intelligence)

Master communication with your partner with Love (Heart/Emotional) and Logic (Brain/Intelligence)

Click or Copy this link to book a FREE 30 minute consultation to Reboot Your Relationship  - https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship

Communication is a dynamic process of discovery that requires not just love and not just logic, but both love and logic, emotions and intelligence and your heart and brain.   And the secret of this is that if you are more of an emotional/love/heart centered communicator your curriculum is to learn to add the logic, intelligence and our brain.  And if you are more of a logically, intelligence and brain oriented communicator your curriculum is to learn to add the emotional, love and heart into the equation.   

Jan 25, 202037:43
How to have an Amazing Relationship (From a Trauma- Informed Relationship Psychotherapist Joe Whitcomb)
Jan 25, 202037:57
Is Your Partner a Narcissist Misunderstanding Your Partner
Jan 24, 202048:51
Part 2: Taking Your Relationship from Ordinary to Extraordinary (6-10) Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb
Jan 24, 202020:36
Part 1: Taking Your Relationship from Ordinary to Extraordinary (1-5) Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb
Jan 24, 202022:48
Attachment Styles: Why we love, feel and act the way we do in Relationships with Joe Whitcomb

Attachment Styles: Why we love, feel and act the way we do in Relationships with Joe Whitcomb

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb 310-560-0726 or Click here to schedule a Free 30-Minute Consultation https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship

This podcast is best for couples, relationships, PTSD and those who "rage against the dying of the light." My area of expertise consists in helping with difficulties in relationships & social relationships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy partnerships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy intimacy, healing from a painful break-up or divorce, recovering from major loss, and growing up in aversive childhood experiences, trauma and difficult circumstances. I am particularly suited to helping those who have cultivated their intellects and creativity but would now like to develop a greater awareness of their emotional world. (Neuroscience of Relationships, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Method, CBT, DBT and EMDR). Joe's approach is far from being the silent, blank therapist. His approach provides the richest and most depth and exploration of how we love, work, and play.  He works less as a teacher and therapist but more of an awakener and revealing what is already inside all of us that has been repressed or suppressed, process consultant and co-journeyman on all our heroes journey. I am also a 12 year military veteran and treat PTSD and transition. My bias is the relationships need 3 major elements to thrive and not just survive. 1.  Shared Context 2. Shared Language and Tools 3. A Community and Tribe Joe's core belief is that we are all born into relationship for relationship, love, connection, belonging.  We learned relationships in the context of relationship.  We have all experienced aversive childhood experiences and trauma where we have  been hurt, wounded and betrayed in relationship by mental, psychological, emotional and sexual abuse, addictions, abandonment, violations of human connection and loss of sense of safety, security and protection.  So, relationship is the crucible to heal our past trauma we re-enact and sometimes feel we can never get beyond the X-Factor.  Relationship is the context we have been wounded in so it is only in the context of relationship that we can be healed, therefore, it is vehicle on the path and practice of love to resolve and repair. Joe has developed brief 12-24 session relationship programs and intensives for couples to breakthrough the upper limit barriers that block them from experiences the love and intimacy both crave. Joe Whitcomb is a US Military Veteran and Rescuer,  Relationship Coach/Trainer/Speaker, an attachment-based, emotionally focused therapist, and developer of the Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapy Method which focuses on trauma (PTSD and Aversive Childhood Experiences ACE's) and the impact on relationships, mind, body, emotions, health in couple relations, families, blending step-families, military, veterans, first responders, and adult survivors of childhood abuse/trauma. What Does it Mean to be Trauma Informed? Noticing and embracing that trauma is the expectation, not the exception – all beings experience trauma, just different levels - it doesn't matter if you were or are drowning at 1 feet, 7 feet or 21 feet, you were drowning. Awareness of how trauma effects the brain, body, spirit, sense of safety and security in the world Asking “What happened to you?” versus “What’s wrong with you?” Minimize re-victimization and facilitate recovery for all clients in the most culturally sensitive  way we can, taking into account culture, race, gender, sexuality, spirituality, and other factors Behaviors are understood not merely as complaints but as attempts to cope and survive This Thing We Do…So Other’s May Live and Love Well and Thrive!  

Sponsorships: off for this episode

Jan 24, 202028:17
Why Relationships Fail! Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb

Why Relationships Fail! Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb 310-560-0726 or click here to book a FREE 30 Minute Consultation: https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship

 This podcast is best for couples, relationships, PTSD and those who "rage against the dying of the light." My area of expertise consists in helping with difficulties in relationships & social relationships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy partnerships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy intimacy, healing from a painful break-up or divorce, recovering from major loss, and growing up in aversive childhood experiences, trauma and difficult circumstances. I am particularly suited to helping those who have cultivated their intellects and creativity but would now like to develop a greater awareness of their emotional world.  Joe's approach is far from being the silent, blank therapist. His approach provides the richest and most depth and exploration of how we love, work, and play.  He works less as a teacher and therapist but more of an awakener and revealing what is already inside all of us that has been repressed or suppressed, process consultant and co-journeyman on all our heroes journey. I am also a 12 year military veteran and treat PTSD and transition. My bias is the relationships need 3 major elements to thrive and not just survive. 1.  Shared Context 2. Shared Language and Tools 3. A Community and Tribe Joe's core belief is that we are all born into relationship for relationship, love, connection, belonging.  We learned relationships in the context of relationship.  We have all experienced aversive childhood experiences and trauma where we have  been hurt, wounded and betrayed in relationship by mental, psychological, emotional and sexual abuse, addictions, abandonment, violations of human connection and loss of sense of safety, security and protection.  So, relationship is the crucible to heal our past trauma we re-enact and sometimes feel we can never get beyond the X-Factor.  Relationship is the context we have been wounded in so it is only in the context of relationship that we can be healed, therefore, it is vehicle on the path and practice of love to resolve and repair. Joe has developed brief 12-24 session relationship programs and intensives for couples to breakthrough the upper limit barriers that block them from experiences the love and intimacy both crave. My couples sessions range from 90-120 minutes and offer several couples weekend intensives for those wanting to go through a deep dive and Reboot Your Relationship. Joe Whitcomb is a US Military Veteran and Rescuer,  Relationship Coach/Trainer/Speaker, an attachment-based, emotionally focused therapist, and developer of the Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapy Method which focuses on trauma (PTSD and Aversive Childhood Experiences ACE's) and the impact on relationships, mind, body, emotions, health in couple relations, families, blending step-families, military, veterans, first responders, and adult survivors of childhood abuse/trauma. What Does it Mean to be Trauma Informed? Noticing and embracing that trauma is the expectation, not the exception – all beings experience trauma, just different levels - it doesn't matter if you were or are drowning at 1 feet, 7 feet or 21 feet, you were drowning. Awareness of how trauma effects the brain, body, spirit, sense of safety and security in the world Asking “What happened to you?” versus “What’s wrong with you?” Minimize re-victimization and facilitate recovery for all clients in the most culturally sensitive  way we can, taking into account culture, race, gender, sexuality, spirituality, and other factors Behaviors are understood not merely as complaints but as attempts to cope and survive This Thing We Do…So Other’s May Live and Love Well and Thrive!

Jan 24, 202043:40
PTSD and Me with Marine Wife, Krista as special guest and Joe Whitcomb - Reboot Your Relationship

PTSD and Me with Marine Wife, Krista as special guest and Joe Whitcomb - Reboot Your Relationship

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb 310-560-0726 or click here to book a FREE 30 Minute Consultation: https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship


Part 1:  Interview with Marine wife, Krista as she shares her courageous story and journey of PTSD with her Marine husband and 4 children.  What to do when you and your your partner have experienced share trauma. 

Joe Whitcomb is a Licensed Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapist that specializes in PTSD in Relationships.


Jan 22, 202001:10:16
Love's X Factor: Solving for X Between The Sexes - It isn't rocket surgery, but it is brain science
Jan 19, 202051:41
Part 2: Raging Against the Dying of the Light - Escaping Dante's 9th Hell...and it isn't what you think, but it is what we feel

Part 2: Raging Against the Dying of the Light - Escaping Dante's 9th Hell...and it isn't what you think, but it is what we feel

Raging Against the Dying of the Light - Escaping Dante's 9th Hell...and it isn't what you think, but it is what we feel...

Shame is the Name of the Game

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb 310-560-0726 or click here to book a FREE 30 Minute Consultation: https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship

We feel shame when we think of poorly of ourselves. It is our sense of our own incompetence, helplessness or powerlessness. Shame is the emotion that encourages us to do our best. When we are ashamed we may feel vulnerable and even helpless. Shame reflects a decrease in stature while pride is the emotion reflecting an increase in stature.

Contact Joe Whitcomb, Licensed Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapy Method 

310-560-0726

joe@rebuildingconnection.com

Jan 19, 202001:04:00
DARVO: Understanding a gaslighting strategy of reversing blame - Deny - Attack - Reverse Blame - Victim - Offender

DARVO: Understanding a gaslighting strategy of reversing blame - Deny - Attack - Reverse Blame - Victim - Offender

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb 310-560-0726 or click here to book a FREE 30 Minute Consultation: https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship

DARVO refers to a reaction perpetrators of wrong doing, may display in response to being held accountable for their behavior. DARVO stands for "Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender." The perpetrator or offender may Deny the behavior, Attack the individual doing the confronting, and Reverse the roles of Victim and Offender such that the perpetrator assumes the victim role and turns the true victim -- or the whistle blower -- into an alleged offender. This occurs, for instance, when an actually guilty perpetrator assumes the role of "falsely accused" and attacks the accuser's credibility and blames the accuser of being the perpetrator of a false accusation.

Jan 18, 202047:29
Raging Against the Dying of the Light - Working with Couples with PTSR (Post-Traumatic Stress Reorder) Part 1

Raging Against the Dying of the Light - Working with Couples with PTSR (Post-Traumatic Stress Reorder) Part 1

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb 310-560-0726 or click here to book a FREE 30 Minute Consultation: https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship

This podcast is best for couples, relationships, PTSD and those who "rage against the dying of the light." My area of expertise consists in helping with difficulties in relationships & social relationships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy intimacy, healing from a painful break-up or divorce, recovering from major loss, and growing up in aversive childhood experiences, abuse and difficult circumstances.   


Joe Whitcomb is a Licensed Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapist.

Jan 17, 202056:17
Finding Joe to Break Through the Upper Limit Barriers to Love - Love Killers and Toxic Poisons

Finding Joe to Break Through the Upper Limit Barriers to Love - Love Killers and Toxic Poisons

This podcast is best for couples, relationships, PTSD and those who "rage against the dying of the light." My area of expertise consists in helping with difficulties in relationships & social relationships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy partnerships.

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb 310-560-0726 or click here to book a FREE 30 Minute Consultation: https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship

Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy intimacy, healing from a painful break-up or divorce,  recovering from major loss, and growing up in aversive childhood experiences, trauma and difficult circumstances. I am particularly suited to helping those who have cultivated their intellects and creativity but would now like to develop a greater awareness of their emotional world. (Neuroscience of Relationships, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Method, CBT, DBT and EMDR).

Joe's approach, I'm far from being the silent, blank therapist. I think my approach provides the richest and most depth and exploration of how we love, work, and play. I consider myself more of a process consultant and co-journeyman. I am also a 12 year military veteran and treat PTSD and transition.

I have developed brief 12-24 session relationship programs and intensives for couples to breakthrough the upper limit barriers that block them from experiences the love and intimacy both crave. My couples sessions range from 90-120 minutes and offer several couples weekend intensives for those wanting to go through a deep dive and Reboot Your Relationship.

Joe Whitcomb is a US Military Veteran and Rescuer,  Relationship Coach/Trainer/Speaker, an attachment-based, emotionally focused therapist, and developer of the Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapy Method which focuses on trauma (PTSD and Aversive Childhood Experiences ACE's) and the impact on relationships, mind, body, emotions, health in couple relations, families, blending step-families, military, veterans, first responders, and adult survivors of childhood abuse/trauma.

What Does it Mean to be Trauma Informed?

  • Noticing and embracing that trauma is the expectation, not the exception – all beings experience trauma, just different levels - it doesn't matter if you were or are drowning at 1 feet, 7 feet or 21 feet, you were drowning.
  • Awareness of how trauma effects the brain, body, spirit, sense of safety and security in the world
  • Asking “What happened to you?” versus “What’s wrong with you?”
  • Minimize re-victimization and facilitate recovery for all clients in the most culturally sensitive  way we can, taking into account culture, race, gender, sexuality, spirituality, and other factors
  • Behaviors are understood not merely as complaints but as attempts to cope and survive

This Thing We Do…So Other’s May Live and Love Well and Thrive - Joe Whitcomb

Jan 13, 202044:14
Stopping the pain cycle of mutual injury in your relationship

Stopping the pain cycle of mutual injury in your relationship

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb, Licensed Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapist

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb 310-560-0726 or click here to book a FREE 30 Minute Consultation: https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship

"Raging against the dying of the light!"

Volatile couples are often passionate couples. "We love each other and have a good relationship, why we do end up in the same hurtful arguments?" The passion in your relationship is energizing but can also turn into fights accompanied by extreme anger. Often this results in one person withdrawing and both left feeling hurt and misunderstood. I help couples turn volatility into versatility. Volatility is explosive energy; versatility means having choices and tools to use at the right moment while keeping healthy passion alive. My couples are people who have strong relationships but need help breaking patterns that continue having them slip into a vicious cycle and vortex.

Some couples come committed to having their relationship thrive, others come with the intention of working out a divorce that is collaborative and respectful and includes a co-parenting plan that works for the whole family. I also work with couples to create and implement a healthy post-divorce family life.





When couples disagree, most repeat the following disruptive pattern: blame, criticize, defend, express contempt, distance, and emotionally or physically withdraw. Distress is not about how many fights you have or even if you resolve the fights. Distress is about how you fight, and whether you can retain some sort of emotional connection after the fight. While traditional types of marital counseling tend to be open-ended and seek to solve immediate problems, such as continual arguing, by focusing primarily on behavior change and communication skills, my approach hones in on increasing a couple's appreciation for how each partner feels in order to build trust and a secure base they can each rely on. In this approach, couples learn to recognize the negative (vicious) cycle and pattern 'complain-defend-complain-defe nd-complain-defend' they are stuck in, where one person criticizes and the other responds defensively or withdraws. Couples learn to identify the needs and fears that keep them in that cycle. They learn to identify and express their underlying emotions. Partners learn to empathize with each other and become more supportive of each other. Partners come together through the emotional needs they are each expressing, and can begin to comfort each other's needs.




Until a couple is able to identify, acknowledge and ultimately forgive injuries, an emotional gulf persists between them. No matter how dissatisfying things have become and how unhappy or angry partners may be, they each need to feel safe in coming together to work out their problems. Each partner needs to understand the emotions dictating their actions. The emotions behind perceived problems are the key to understanding each other.


Jan 13, 202046:59
Finding Joe - What You Can Expect When You Work With Me to Reboot Your Relationship

Finding Joe - What You Can Expect When You Work With Me to Reboot Your Relationship

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb - Click here to schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation - https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship

Reboot Your Relationship:  Joe Whitcomb Licensed Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapist Author of Reboot Your Relationship available on Amazon Here’s What To Expect When You Work With Me What I Believe • Couples are seeking connection. We want to feel that connection with each other, that aliveness, that excitement, that sense of well being. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual connection. It is what we feel when we first come together with someone and “fall in love." Conflict is the motivating force for healing and growth in relationships. The conflicts are your greatest teachers. By design they are the very irritant that forms the pearl of your growth within and between. In any conflict, there are multiple dimensions occurring simultaneously. No one dimension can explain the entire conflict, so that is where I come in to help you interpret and have a deeper meaning and understanding. I believe the conflict couples experience after the “honeymoon period” of their relationship is actually necessary. Conflict points out where we don’t get our needs met. Unmet needs create a breakdown in connection, destroying passion and intimacy. Many couples don’t navigate this “power struggle” phase successfully and eventually break up or settle for a less than satisfying relationship. “To heal the war in the the world we have to heal the war between the sexes. To heal the war between the sexes we have the heal the war within ourselves. "Raging against the dying of the light!" Volatile couples are often passionate couples. "We love each other and have a good relationship, why we do end up in the same hurtful arguments?" The passion in your relationship is energizing but can also turn into fights accompanied by extreme anger. Often this results in one person withdrawing and both left feeling hurt and misunderstood. I help couples turn volatility into versatility. Volatility is explosive energy; versatility means having choices and tools to use at the right moment while keeping healthy passion alive. My couples are people who have strong relationships but need help breaking patterns that continue having them slip into a vicious cycle and vortex. Some couples come committed to having their relationship thrive, others come with the intention of working out a divorce that is collaborative and respectful and includes a co-parenting plan that works for the whole family. I also work with couples to create and implement a healthy post-divorce family life. When couples disagree, most repeat the following disruptive pattern: blame, criticize, defend, express contempt, distance, and emotionally or physically withdraw. Distress is not about how many fights you have or even if you resolve the fights. Distress is about how you fight, and whether you can retain some sort of emotional connection after the fight. While traditional types of marital counseling tend to be open-ended and seek to solve immediate problems, such as continual arguing, by focusing primarily on behavior change and communication skills, my approach hones in on increasing a couple's appreciation for how each partner feels in order to build trust and a secure base they can each rely on. In this approach, couples learn to recognize the negative (vicious) cycle and pattern 'complain-defend-complain-defe nd-complain-defend' they are stuck in, where one person criticizes and the other responds defensively or withdraws. Couples learn to identify the needs and fears that keep them in that cycle. They learn to identify and express their underlying emotions. Partners learn to empathize with each other and become more supportive of each other. Partners come together through the emotional needs they are each expressing, and can begin to comfort each other's needs.  

Jan 11, 202047:04
Reality Testing. - it isn’t rocket surgery, but it is brain science.

Reality Testing. - it isn’t rocket surgery, but it is brain science.


Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb 310-560-0726 or click here to schedule a FREE 30 Minute Consultation: https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb 310-560-0726 This podcast is best for couples, relationships, PTSD and those who "rage against the dying of the light." My area of expertise consists in helping with difficulties in relationships & social relationships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy partnerships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy intimacy, healing from a painful break-up or divorce, recovering from major loss, and growing up in aversive childhood experiences, trauma and difficult circumstances. I am particularly suited to helping those who have cultivated their intellects and creativity but would now like to develop a greater awareness of their emotional world. (Neuroscience of Relationships, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Method, CBT, DBT and EMDR). Joe's approach is far from being the silent, blank therapist. His approach provides the richest and most depth and exploration of how we love, work, and play.  He works less as a teacher and therapist but more of an awakener and revealing what is already inside all of us that has been repressed or suppressed, process consultant and co-journeyman on all our heroes journey. I am also a 12 year military veteran and treat PTSD and transition. My bias is the relationships need 3 major elements to thrive and not just survive. 1.  Shared Context 2. Shared Language and Tools 3. A Community and Tribe Joe's core belief is that we are all born into relationship for relationship, love, connection, belonging.  We learned relationships in the context of relationship.  We have all experienced aversive childhood experiences and trauma where we have  been hurt, wounded and betrayed in relationship by mental, psychological, emotional and sexual abuse, addictions, abandonment, violations of human connection and loss of sense of safety, security and protection.  So, relationship is the crucible to heal our past trauma we re-enact and sometimes feel we can never get beyond the X-Factor.  Relationship is the context we have been wounded in so it is only in the context of relationship that we can be healed, therefore, it is vehicle on the path and practice of love to resolve and repair. Joe has developed brief 12-24 session relationship programs and intensives for couples to breakthrough the upper limit barriers that block them from experiences the love and intimacy both crave. Joe Whitcomb is a US Military Veteran and Rescuer,  Relationship Coach/Trainer/Speaker, an attachment-based, emotionally focused therapist, and developer of the Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapy Method which focuses on trauma (PTSD and Aversive Childhood Experiences ACE's) and the impact on relationships, mind, body, emotions, health in couple relations, families, blending step-families, military, veterans, first responders, and adult survivors of childhood abuse/trauma. What Does it Mean to be Trauma Informed? Noticing and embracing that trauma is the expectation, not the exception – all beings experience trauma, just different levels - it doesn't matter if you were or are drowning at 1 feet, 7 feet or 21 feet, you were drowning. Awareness of how trauma effects the brain, body, spirit, sense of safety and security in the world Asking “What happened to you?” versus “What’s wrong with you?” Minimize re-victimization and facilitate recovery for all clients in the most culturally sensitive  way we can, taking into account culture, race, gender, sexuality, spirituality, and other factors Behaviors are understood not merely as complaints but as attempts to cope and survive This Thing We Do…So Other’s May Live and Love Well and Thrive!

Jan 09, 202048:52
Conflict Relief  - Reboot Your Relationship

Conflict Relief - Reboot Your Relationship

This podcast is best for couples, relationships, PTSD and those who "rage against the dying of the light." My area of expertise consists in helping with difficulties in relationships & social relationships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy partnerships.

Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy intimacy, healing from a painful break-up or divorce, recovering from major loss, and growing up in aversive childhood experiences, trauma and difficult circumstances. I am particularly suited to helping those who have cultivated their intellects and creativity but would now like to develop a greater awareness of their emotional world. (Neuroscience of Relationships, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Method, CBT, DBT and EMDR).

Joe's approach is far from being the silent, blank therapist. His approach provides the richest and most depth and exploration of how we love, work, and play.  He works less as a teacher and therapist but more of an awakener and revealing what is already inside all of us that has been repressed or suppressed, process consultant and co-journeyman on all our heroes journey. I am also a 12 year military veteran and treat PTSD and transition. My bias is the relationships need 3 major elements to thrive and not just survive.

1.  Shared Context

2. Shared Language and Tools

3. A Community and Tribe.

Joe's core belief is that we are all born into relationship for relationship, love, connection, belonging.  We learned relationships in the context of relationship.  We have all experienced aversive childhood experiences and trauma where we have  been hurt, wounded and betrayed in relationship by mental, psychological, emotional and sexual abuse, addictions, abandonment, violations of human connection and loss of sense of safety, security and protection.  So, relationship is the crucible to heal our past trauma we re-enact and sometimes feel we can never get beyond the X-Factor.  Relationship is the context we have been wounded in so it is only in the context of relationship that we can be healed, therefore, it is vehicle on the path and practice of love to resolve and repair.

Joe has developed brief 12-24 session relationship programs and intensives for couples to breakthrough the upper limit barriers that block them from experiences the love and intimacy both crave. My couples sessions range from 90-120 minutes and offer several couples weekend intensives for those wanting to go through a deep dive and Reboot Your Relationship.

Joe Whitcomb is a US Military Veteran and Rescuer,  Relationship Coach/Trainer/Speaker, an attachment-based, emotionally focused therapist, and developer of the Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapy Method which focuses on trauma (PTSD and Aversive Childhood Experiences ACE's) and the impact on relationships, mind, body, emotions, health in couple relations, families, blending step-families, military, veterans, first responders, and adult survivors of childhood abuse/trauma.

What Does it Mean to be Trauma Informed?

  • Noticing and embracing that trauma is the expectation, not the exception – all beings experience trauma, just different levels - it doesn't matter if you were or are drowning at 1 feet, 7 feet or 21 feet, you were drowning.
  • Awareness of how trauma effects the brain, body, spirit, sense of safety and security in the world
  • Asking “What happened to you?” versus “What’s wrong with you?”
  • Minimize re-victimization and facilitate recovery for all clients in the most culturally sensitive  way we can, taking into account culture, race, gender, sexuality, spirituality, and other factors
  • Behaviors are understood not merely as complaints but as attempts to cope and survive

This Thing We Do…So Other’s May Live and Love Well and Thrive

Dec 30, 201906:46
Ready for this?  How to Get Your Woman to Stop "Freaking Out!"

Ready for this? How to Get Your Woman to Stop "Freaking Out!"

This podcast is best for couples, relationships, PTSD and those who "rage against the dying of the light." My area of expertise consists in helping with difficulties in relationships & social relationships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy partnerships.

Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy intimacy, healing from a painful break-up or divorce, recovering from major loss, and growing up in aversive childhood experiences, trauma and difficult circumstances. I am particularly suited to helping those who have cultivated their intellects and creativity but would now like to develop a greater awareness of their emotional world. (Neuroscience of Relationships, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Method, CBT, DBT and EMDR).

Joe's approach, I'm far from being the silent, blank therapist. I think my approach provides the richest and most depth and exploration of how we love, work, and play. I consider myself more of a process consultant and co-journeyman. I am also a 12 year military veteran and treat PTSD and transition.

I have developed brief 12-24 session relationship programs and intensives for couples to breakthrough the upper limit barriers that block them from experiences the love and intimacy both crave. My couples sessions range from 90-120 minutes and offer several couples weekend intensives for those wanting to go through a deep dive and Reboot Your Relationship.

Joe Whitcomb is a US Military Veteran and Rescuer,  Relationship Coach/Trainer/Speaker, an attachment-based, emotionally focused therapist, and developer of the Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapy Method which focuses on trauma (PTSD and Aversive Childhood Experiences ACE's) and the impact on relationships, mind, body, emotions, health in couple relations, families, blending step-families, military, veterans, first responders, and adult survivors of childhood abuse/trauma.

What Does it Mean to be Trauma Informed?

  • Noticing and embracing that trauma is the expectation, not the exception – all beings experience trauma, just different levels - it doesn't matter if you were or are drowning at 1 feet, 7 feet or 21 feet, you were drowning.
  • Awareness of how trauma effects the brain, body, spirit, sense of safety and security in the world
  • Asking “What happened to you?” versus “What’s wrong with you?”
  • Minimize re-victimization and facilitate recovery for all clients in the most culturally sensitive  way we can, taking into account culture, race, gender, sexuality, spirituality, and other factors
  • Behaviors are understood not merely as complaints but as attempts to cope and survive

This Thing We Do…So Other’s May Live and Love Well and Thrive

Dec 30, 201912:28
Rage Against the Dying of the Light -  Finding Joe - Discover Your Tribe in 2020

Rage Against the Dying of the Light - Finding Joe - Discover Your Tribe in 2020

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb 310-560-0726 or click here to schedule a FREE 30 Minute Consultation: https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship


This podcast is best for couples, relationships, PTSD and those who "rage against the dying of the light." My area of expertise consists in helping with difficulties in relationships & social relationships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy partnerships.

Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy intimacy, healing from a painful break-up or divorce, recovering from major loss, and growing up in aversive childhood experiences, trauma and difficult circumstances. I am particularly suited to helping those who have cultivated their intellects and creativity but would now like to develop a greater awareness of their emotional world. (Neuroscience of Relationships, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Method, CBT, DBT and EMDR).

Joe's approach, I'm far from being the silent, blank therapist. I think my approach provides the richest and most depth and exploration of how we love, work, and play. I consider myself more of a process consultant and co-journeyman. I am also a 12 year military veteran and treat PTSD and transition.

I have developed brief 12-24 session relationship programs and intensives for couples to breakthrough the upper limit barriers that block them from experiences the love and intimacy both crave. My couples sessions range from 90-120 minutes and offer several couples weekend intensives for those wanting to go through a deep dive and Reboot Your Relationship.

Joe Whitcomb is a US Military Veteran and Rescuer,  Relationship Coach/Trainer/Speaker, an attachment-based, emotionally focused therapist, and developer of the Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapy Method which focuses on trauma (PTSD and Aversive Childhood Experiences ACE's) and the impact on relationships, mind, body, emotions, health in couple relations, families, blending step-families, military, veterans, first responders, and adult survivors of childhood abuse/trauma.

What Does it Mean to be Trauma Informed?

  • Noticing and embracing that trauma is the expectation, not the exception – all beings experience trauma, just different levels - it doesn't matter if you were or are drowning at 1 feet, 7 feet or 21 feet, you were drowning.
  • Awareness of how trauma effects the brain, body, spirit, sense of safety and security in the world
  • Asking “What happened to you?” versus “What’s wrong with you?”
  • Minimize re-victimization and facilitate recovery for all clients in the most culturally sensitive  way we can, taking into account culture, race, gender, sexuality, spirituality, and other factors
  • Behaviors are understood not merely as complaints but as attempts to cope and survive

This Thing We Do…So Other’s May Live and Love Well and Thrive

Dec 30, 201958:34
Are you a Power Couple Power Struggling Through Your Relationship?

Are you a Power Couple Power Struggling Through Your Relationship?


Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb 310-560-0726 or click here to schedule a FREE 30 Minute Consultation: https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship

This podcast is best for couples, relationships, PTSD and those who "rage against the dying of the light." My area of expertise consists in helping with difficulties in relationships & social relationships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy partnerships.

Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy intimacy, healing from a painful break-up or divorce, recovering from major loss, and growing up in aversive childhood experiences, trauma and difficult circumstances. I am particularly suited to helping those who have cultivated their intellects and creativity but would now like to develop a greater awareness of their emotional world. (Neuroscience of Relationships, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Method, CBT, DBT and EMDR).

Joe's approach is far from being the silent, blank therapist. HIs approach provides the richest and most depth and exploration of how we love, work, and play.  Joe considers myself more of a process consultant and co-journeyman. He is also a 12 year military veteran, first responder and treat PTSD and transition with men and women in the military.

Joe has developed brief 12-24 session relationship programs and intensives for couples to breakthrough the upper limit barriers that block most couples from experiences the love and intimacy both crave. My couples sessions range from 90-120 minutes and offer several couples weekend intensives for those wanting to go through a deep dive and Reboot Your Relationship.

Joe Whitcomb is a US Military Veteran, Rescuer,  Relationship Coach/Trainer/Speaker, an attachment-based, emotionally focused therapist, and developer of the Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapy Method which focuses on trauma (PTSD and Aversive Childhood Experiences ACE's) and the impact on relationships, mind, body, emotions, health in couple relations, families, blending step-families, military, veterans, first responders, and adult survivors of childhood abuse/trauma.

What Does it Mean to be Trauma Informed?

  • Noticing and embracing that trauma is the expectation, not the exception – all beings experience trauma, just different levels - it doesn't matter if you were or are drowning at 1 feet, 7 feet or 21 feet, you were drowning.
  • Awareness of how trauma effects the brain, body, spirit, sense of safety and security in the world
  • Asking “What happened to you?” versus “What’s wrong with you?”
  • Minimize re-victimization and facilitate recovery for all clients in the most culturally sensitive  way we can, taking into account culture, race, gender, sexuality, spirituality, and other factors
  • Behaviors are understood not merely as complaints but as attempts to cope and survive

This Thing We Do…So Other’s May Live and Love Well and Thrive

Dec 30, 201901:20:04
Why Hurt People, Hurt People; Broken People, Break People and Healing the Trauma Binds and Bonds

Why Hurt People, Hurt People; Broken People, Break People and Healing the Trauma Binds and Bonds

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb 310-560-0726 or click here to schedule a FREE 30 Minute Consultation: https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship

This podcast is best for couples, relationships, PTSD and those who "rage against the dying of the light." My area of expertise consists in helping with difficulties in relationships & social relationships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy partnerships.

Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy intimacy, healing from a painful break-up or divorce, recovering from major loss, and growing up in aversive childhood experiences, trauma and difficult circumstances. I am particularly suited to helping those who have cultivated their intellects and creativity but would now like to develop a greater awareness of their emotional world. (Neuroscience of Relationships, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Method, CBT, DBT and EMDR).

Joe's approach, I'm far from being the silent, blank therapist. I think my approach provides the richest and most depth and exploration of how we love, work, and play. I consider myself more of a process consultant and co-journeyman. I am also a 12 year military veteran and treat PTSD and transition.

I have developed brief 12-24 session relationship programs and intensives for couples to breakthrough the upper limit barriers that block them from experiences the love and intimacy both crave. My couples sessions range from 90-120 minutes and offer several couples weekend intensives for those wanting to go through a deep dive and Reboot Your Relationship.

Joe Whitcomb is a US Military Veteran and Rescuer,  Relationship Coach/Trainer/Speaker, an attachment-based, emotionally focused therapist, and developer of the Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapy Method which focuses on trauma (PTSD and Aversive Childhood Experiences ACE's) and the impact on relationships, mind, body, emotions, health in couple relations, families, blending step-families, military, veterans, first responders, and adult survivors of childhood abuse/trauma.

What Does it Mean to be Trauma Informed?

  • Noticing and embracing that trauma is the expectation, not the exception – all beings experience trauma, just different levels - it doesn't matter if you were or are drowning at 1 feet, 7 feet or 21 feet, you were drowning.
  • Awareness of how trauma effects the brain, body, spirit, sense of safety and security in the world
  • Asking “What happened to you?” versus “What’s wrong with you?”
  • Minimize re-victimization and facilitate recovery for all clients in the most culturally sensitive  way we can, taking into account culture, race, gender, sexuality, spirituality, and other factors
  • Behaviors are understood not merely as complaints but as attempts to cope and survive

This Thing We Do…So Other’s May Live and Love Well and Thrive

Dec 30, 201901:15:21
Reboot Your Relationship Invitation

Reboot Your Relationship Invitation


Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb 310-560-0726 or click here to schedule a FREE 30 Minute Consultation: https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship

This podcast is best for couples, relationships, PTSD and those who "rage against the dying of the light." My area of expertise consists in helping with difficulties in relationships & social relationships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy partnerships.

Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy intimacy, healing from a painful break-up or divorce,  recovering from major loss, and growing up in aversive childhood experiences, trauma and difficult circumstances. I am particularly suited to helping those who have cultivated their intellects and creativity but would now like to develop a greater awareness of their emotional world. (Neuroscience of Relationships, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Method, CBT, DBT and EMDR).

Joe's approach, I'm far from being the silent, blank therapist. I think my approach provides the richest and most depth and exploration of how we love, work, and play. I consider myself more of a process consultant and co-journeyman. I am also a 12 year military veteran and treat PTSD and transition.

I have developed brief 12-24 session relationship programs and intensives for couples to breakthrough the upper limit barriers that block them from experiences the love and intimacy both crave. My couples sessions range from 90-120 minutes and offer several couples weekend intensives for those wanting to go through a deep dive and Reboot Your Relationship.

Joe Whitcomb is a US Military Veteran and Rescuer,  Relationship Coach/Trainer/Speaker, an attachment-based, emotionally focused therapist, and developer of the Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapy Method which focuses on trauma (PTSD and Aversive Childhood Experiences ACE's) and the impact on relationships, mind, body, emotions, health in couple relations, families, blending step-families, military, veterans, first responders, and adult survivors of childhood abuse/trauma.

 What Does it Mean to be Trauma Informed?

  • Noticing and embracing that trauma is the expectation, not the exception – all beings experience trauma, just different levels - it doesn't matter if you were or are drowning at 1 feet, 7 feet or 21 feet, you were drowning.
  • Awareness of how trauma effects the brain, body, spirit, sense of safety and security in the world
  • Asking “What happened to you?” versus “What’s wrong with you?”
  • Minimize re-victimization and facilitate recovery for all clients in the most culturally sensitive  way we can, taking into account culture, race, gender, sexuality, spirituality, and other factors
  • Behaviors are understood not merely as complaints but as attempts to cope and survive

This Thing We Do…So Other’s May Live and Love Well and Thrive - Joe Whitcomb

Dec 30, 201903:42
Are you in the Drama Triangle? Breaking bad cycles and patterns

Are you in the Drama Triangle? Breaking bad cycles and patterns

Reboot Your Relationship with Joe Whitcomb 310-560-0726 or click here to schedule a FREE 30 Minute Consultation: https://calendly.com/rebootyourrelationship


Breaking out of the Drama Triangle of Rescuer/Hero, Persecutor/Villain and Victim in relationships.

This podcast is best for couples, relationships, PTSD and those who "rage against the dying of the light." My area of expertise consists in helping with difficulties in relationships & social relationships. Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy partnerships.

Such difficulties include finding and sustaining healthy intimacy, healing from a painful break-up or divorce, school-related problems, recovering from major loss, and growing up in difficult circumstances. I am particularly suited to helping those who have cultivated their intellects and creativity but would now like to develop a greater awareness of their emotional world. (Neuroscience of Relationships, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Method, CBT, DBT and EMDR).

Joe's approach, I'm far from being the silent, blank therapist. I think my approach provides the richest and most depth and exploration of how we love, work, and play. I consider myself more of a process consultant and co-journeyman. I am also a 12 year military veteran and treat PTSD and transition.

I have developed brief 12-24 session relationship programs and intensives for couples to breakthrough the upper limit barriers that block them from experiences the love and intimacy both crave. My couples sessions range from 90-120 minutes and offer several couples weekend intensives for those wanting to go through a deep dive and Reboot Your Relationship.

Joe Whitcomb is a US Military Veteran and Rescuer,  Relationship Coach/Trainer/Speaker, an attachment-based, emotionally focused therapist, and developer of the Trauma-Informed Relationship Psychotherapy method which focuses on trauma (PTSD and Aversive Childhood Experiences ACE's) and the impact on relationships, mind, body, emotions, health in couple relations, families, blending step-families, military, veterans, first responders, and adult survivors of childhood abuse/trauma.   

Dec 30, 201901:26:19
December 29, 2019

December 29, 2019

Dec 29, 201900:24