Reconstruction Calls
By Aaron Manes
Reconstruction CallsJun 01, 2021
Better Questions = Getting Unstuck
The process of deconstruction and reconstruction can have a lot of up’s and down’s. Sometimes in the midst of it, we may just feel stuck. So what do we do when we feel stuck? How do we know if our truest voice is speaking or if it is a voice from our past? I asked Therapist and Spiritual Coach Amanda Waldron to jump into this conversation to help us find new ways and better questions to continue down a healthy reconstruction path. This conversation swerves around and we touch on everything from the somatic enneagram, purity culture, getting unstuck and what kind of people we need during different seasons of our lives.
Learn more about Amanda on her website www.heyamandawaldron.com or follow her on instagram (@heyamandawaldron).
Reconstruction Calls is hosted by Trained Spiritual Director, Aaron Manes
Learn more about reconstruction, the enneagram & spiritual direction at www.aaronmanes.com
What Do We Do With Doubt?
A big part of the deconstruction journey begins with doubt. A doubt may be small when it creeps in but real deconstruction happens when you just cannot ignore it any more. In this episode I am talking to Brian Aadland - who is the pastor of Revolution Church in Minneapolis as well as the host of the Sacred Collective Podcast. Brian recently gave a talk at Revolution Church about doubt and I wanted to have him on to hear a little of his own story and to talk together about grappling with our own doubts, what scripture has to say about it and hopefully find some peace along the way.
Find Brian on Instagram - @RogueTheologian
Listen to the Sacred Collective Podcast (click here)
Reconstruction Calls is hosted by Trained Spiritual Director, Aaron Manes
Learn more about reconstruction, the enneagram & spiritual direction at www.aaronmanes.com
What Is Spiritual Direction?
In each one of these podcasts I introduce myself as “Spiritual Director Aaron Manes.” But what is a spiritual director? Sure, you can google it, you can look up the big spiritual direction entity that is Spiritual Directors International (www.sdicompanions.org) and find a definition, but I thought it would be a good opportunity to have my friends and fellow Spiritual Director’s Kim Verriere and Emily Turner on to talk about this with me. Kim and Emily have both been on the podcast before so you can listen back to find out their typologies and a little more about each of them. If you would like to know more about what happens during spiritual direction, what sorts of things are discussed and how working with a trained listener affects your life, then this podcast is for you.
Reconstruction Calls is hosted by Trained Spiritual Director, Aaron Manes
Learn more about reconstruction, the enneagram & spiritual direction at www.aaronmanes.com
It's Complicated: Church
Church - for so many people right now, it is complicated. I recently did a talk for a spiritual ministry here in Dallas and it was about this idea of America becoming less religious and more spiritual. One of the best metaphors I know is from author Robert Putnam. He says that interest in bowling is at an all time high and yet interest in bowling leagues is at an all time low.
You see, people want to bowl but they don’t want to do it formally. The church trend trackers are seeing similar trends when it come to going to church. What has become apparent for a lot of people I know is that they discovered they didn’t need to go sit in a sanctuary to have church, to have community. Their faith community they realized were the people that care about them and those who they care about.
In this first edition of "It's Complicated," there isn't a guest. Just me talking about the reality of church-going and living a more spiritual life. The truth of the spiritual or reconstructing life is that often what irks us, is just an invitation in disguise.
Reconstruction Calls is hosted by Trained Spiritual Director, Aaron Manes
Learn more about reconstruction & spiritual direction at www.aaronmanes.com
Deconstruction, Reconstruction and Seminary
By the time someone has gone through the deconstructing process, they often find themselves in a new place - even a whole new person. Many people talk about feeling more open-hearted, more connected, more of a lot of things. And it is from that place that they take on new things. In this episode, I am talking with my friend Lindsay O’Connor who is a great follow on social media for all her book wisdom. (Instagram: @LindsayLOConnor) but she is also an enneagram knower and is on a journey doing racial reconciliation. All of this work found her with a desire to go to seminary and that is something I wanted to talk to her more about.
Learn more about reconstruction & spiritual direction at www.aaronmanes.com
Navigating Change In Life & Faith
Have you ever decided to pick up and move across the country? Maybe you haven't made a physical change but you have experienced a change of faith. There are so many steps and experiences that come with change. On this episode, I am talking with some of my old friends: Jacob and Katie Eckeberger. One of the things I am always so impressed with is their ability to navigate change. They seem to handle it so well and then they turn around and create music, community and new ideas from their experiences. The other fascinating thing is that as a couple they are Enneagram 3 & 4 and that is a lot of feeling. So listen closely to how they express their early feelings of knowing when to change and how to make a move.
This episode (S2:E3) is with Jacob and Katie Eckeberger. Jacob is on the executive leadership team for YouthWorks and Katie is a worship leader and together they both write and lead worship for their band My Anchor Holds. Learn more about their music at www.myanchorholds.net.
We Must First Belong
Deconstruction & Reconstruction are an invitation to never stop believing. In this conversation with Rev. Jared Houze, we discover that part of the process is that before we can believe, we must first belong. Knowing that we belong to community gives us a place to believe from. This insight came from a real curious question related to what he would like for his kids -- being that he grew up baptist and is now an Episcopal priest. Come listen into this call to also hear some real wisdom in the work of reconciliation and how the church is uniquely positioned to bring people together.
Rev. Jared Houze is the senior minister at St. Andrews Episcopal Church in Abilene, Texas.
Justice, Songs & The Bible
Paul Zach (www.paulzachmusic.com) is a lead songwriter for The Porter's Gate - an ecumenical group founded to help worship leaders respond theologically to the pressing questions of our times through the writing of new worship songs and the creation of new liturgical resources. Paul also has a new album out called "Hymns" which is streaming on Spotify and Apple Music.
How Do We Know What To Do Next?
When we began the COVID lockdown, many of us made plans that would help us get through. But then it just kept going. The gift of 2020 may be clarity in our lives as things got simpler or required us to live differently. You might say that 2020 has caused many of us to renovate our lives. Because of this the question arises, what do we do next? If we don't feel called to something specifically, what should we do to discern our next steps? That is what I brought Spiritual Director Kim Verriere back to talk about. Kim was on in episode 5 (Dreams And A Deep Trust) and we talked about her dream work. What I learned in that episode is that sometimes hearing the voice of God means trusting our deepest selves. We will talk about discernment, next steps and how to begin noticing the voice of God all around us.
Learn more about Kim at www.greaterlovecollective.org
Dreams, Mystical Experiences and Listening For The Holy Spirit
What if our dreams are God's prayers for us and to us? Dreams and other mystical experiences can sometimes be like scratch off tickets in that we may not be best served to scratch one too hard. Sometimes the Holy Spirit is speaking to us over time and through multiple occurrences and what is revealed is the leading of God in our lives. This episode's guest is Emily Turner, a spiritual director, a writer and a mystic. I wanted to have Emily on because she is tuned into listening and hearing from God in different ways. Sometimes listening to the ways that other people hear God speak in their lives, gives us a new perspective.
Learn more about Spiritual Direction and Aaron Manes at www.aaronmanes.com
Death, Empathy and Reconstructing Heaven
Empathy. Are we really willing to go deeper with people - to be present with them - especially when they are working through a difficult time? My mom passed away a few weeks ago. In working through my own grief I called my friend Dave Jaeger and I made a confession which was that in all of my reconstruction work I may have lost the need for heaven and thus talk of my mom in heaven wasn't that comforting. What came up in the conversation was my noticing people avoiding pain by the words they use. So talking to my therapist friend and bringing this conversation to the podcast felt healing for me and I hope it may be healing for all of us.
Dave is a Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Nashville, Tennessee. He also has some incredible tattoos but that is another podcast. Learn more about Dave at http://www.restorationtherapynash.com/
Finding God In New Places
Occasionally I think it is a good idea to just listen to someone's deconstruction story. Often times we hear our own stories reflected in their truths. About a decade ago in Nashville, I met Bob Hutchins who at the time owned a marketing agency. We haven't been in touch much but a year or two ago, I noticed a change in his social media posts and I decided to reach out and what I found was that Bob had been through a deconstruction of faith and I wanted to know more about his reconstruction process - so that is today's episode. We will listen to Bob's story, talk about learning to listen for God in new ways and we will see how much he knows about his adopted hometown of Nashville, Tennessee. Bob has written a book called Finally Human: Using digital media to restore culture and better our world.
Bob is the host of the Rumors Of Grace podcast. Learn more and listen at www.rumorsofgrace.com
Born Again and Again with Author Megan Westra
Is all our Christian busyness interrupting our ability to grow spiritually? That is my first question to today’s guest Megan Westra. Megan is a pastor, speaker and an author. Her new book, “Born Again and Again,” touches on many of the words or concepts that may carry baggage for many people undergoing faith reconstruction. In this podcast we talk about moving from an individualistic kind of faith to a more communal view of salvation. We also talk about words that carry baggage and how to listen for a new meaning. You can find out more about Megan at www.meganwestra.com
Giving Up Control and Reconstructing Prayer
At different spots on our path we grow tired of or maybe lose the ability to use some faith practices we have grown up with. For me, a practice I have needed to reconstruct is prayer. I was taught to pray using the ACTS (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving and Supplication) method but a number of years ago, constantly asking God for "things" just didn't feel very prayerful anymore. So what do we do? We have to reconstruct. On this episode I am talking with Marcia and Tom Hotchkiss. Father Tom is an Episcopal priest and Marcia is a spiritual director. So who better than to have on to talk about prayer. Actually we are talking about how Marcia and Tom came later in life to spiritual practices, contemplation and letting go of our own need to be in control.
Marcia works with Spiritual Ministries Institute - www.spiritualministries.live/
Trusting Your Interior Self & Listening For God's Guiding
The truest form of reconstruction is when your internal trust of God matches your external experiences with God. The Rev. Dr. Lil Smith is a seasoned Spiritual Director and a guide for many who are listening to new expressions of God in their lives. In this episode we talk about how it can be difficult to find that interior trust and how we see the Holy Spirit leading people through deconstruction of our traditional faith paradigms. I think I asked my best question yet and we do play a game along the way.
More about Lil Smith:
Lil is director and co-founder of Retreat House (www.retreathousecommunity.org), a day retreat and spirituality center in Richardson, TX . She is a trained spiritual director and supervisor. In the role of adjunct faculty, Lil facilitates the supervised practicum classes in the Perkins School of Theology Certification in Spiritual Direction. As a retreat leader, spiritual director and supervisor Lil shares with others her passion for the spiritual life. She is active with the life of Spiritual Ministries Institute, is a member of the Richardson Interfaith Alliance (RIA) and is on the board of Compassionate DFW.
An Empath, Intuition and Reducing Anxiety Through Practice
In the COVID season of life we are all living in, what can we learn from someone who feels what everyone else is feeling. If an empath has learned to practice hope, then we can definitely learn to add to our own faith by listening. On this episode of the Reconstruction Calls Podcast, Aaron Manes speaks with Christy Stone (a therapist, spiritual director and an empath) about how to find the higher good in the midst of so much anxiety.
What is an empath? An empath is a person who feels and absorbs other people's emotions and/or physical symptoms because of their high sensitivities.
Learn more about Aaron Manes' spiritual direction practice at www.aaronmanes.com
What I've Learned -- A Recall Episode
As a spiritual director, I am a trained listener. In a spiritual direction session often I am just listening for the movement of God in someone's life. Over the course of this podcast I was really struck by a couple of moments so I wanted to bring those back and listen to them again. The podcast is all phone themed (I hope you have picked up on that by now) so let's just call this episode a recall.
We start with my friend Kim. I wanted Kim to come and to talk about dreams and dream interpretation and what I learned was that Kim believes deeply that her life is speaking to her and when she is truly listening and trusting, she is hearing the voice of God. Now, I am still a bit skeptic of dreams but Kim made me want to listen deeper.
Right after the George Floyd murder, I didn't really want to do a podcast that would ignore what was happening but also I didn't want to pretend that my voice was so important that I would do a podcast on race. I asked a few friends and they encouraged me to add to the conversation but to find a unique way to do that. My friend Beth Childs is a history teacher and an advocate. When Beth and I settled on what we would talk about I was interested but during the podcast, I really felt like I learned so much and mainly I learned that history may not find us the truth but it will definitely let us hear and see multiple points of view of the same occurrence and honestly, I had never thought about that before. Let's listen to that part of our conversation.
And lastly on this recall podcast, my friend Glen is one of my sage friends. In the past six months or so I have been on a journey through the idea of the sacred feminine. When you are exploring new spirituality you often need new practices to recognize this growing area of your life. Prayer is a tricky practice for a lot of people I know and work with so the idea of mother earth and prayer made me want to have Glenn on to talk about that. His ancestors are natives and he has adopted a number of their practices into his own spirituality - I want to listen again today as I ask him about what many native people knew by living close to the earth and just listening to their surroundings.
Learn more about Spiritual Director or this podcast's host at www.AaronManes.com
Science, The Mission Field & The Creator God
It's a long story but I met Dr. Erik Hansen when I lived in Nashville. He and his family went to the mission field in Kenya and now we live 5 minutes from each other in Dallas. When you follow a call to the mission field, you get a little more than you expect. I wanted to have Erik on to hear a part of his story. As a surgeon in a developing country Erik encounters children who need major surgery, limited resources, the tragedy of death and working with the families of intersex children as they navigate a society that doesn't have a lot of room for their situation.
Sadness, Anger, Loneliness: The Emotions Of Deconstruction
Deconstruction, like other types of change or loss, presents itself with recurring emotions and feelings. In this conversation with my friend Brian Brooks we talk about his story and experiences during his deconstruction process a few years ago. My hope here is for anyone currently in deconstruction to hear that they are not alone. For those of us who may be reconstructing, it is healing to hear these stories and reflect on our own journey again. Brian comes from the Church Of Christ tradition so we play a little game about acapella music and get a book recommendation.
Pastoring Reconstructing People
Reconstructing people are unique people to be pastoring. If we are coming back to church, often we are coming from dynamic circumstances that may include abuse, loss of faith, radical belief change and much more. I called my friend and my pastor, Rev. Dr. Blair Thompson-White, to get some insight on what that is like. We discuss how to look for a church and why she thinks the deconstruction/reconstruction journey is a move of the Holy Spirit. And of course we play a game and Blair recommends a few books and a podcast in "Hung Up."
Reconstruction Calls, Episode 10 with Rev. Dr. Blair Thompson-White
Our History, It's Myths and Teaching Empathy
If we can't self-observe, then we can't self-correct. When it comes to the history we have all been taught, what is the truth? In the midst of this George Floyd murder aftermath, I couldn't see how doing a podcast specifically on racism would be helpful. But, I could see how talking to my friend Beth Childs about how history and its lessons can either create empathy or not. We talk about listening to more than just one perspective and how truth may never be found in history as well as how we can do better. Oh, and we play a game and talk about the inter-relatedness of how listening to more points of view affects our faith as well.
I borrowed the opening line from my friend and enneagram master teacher Chris Heuertz (I just wanted to give him the credit for his wisdom)
In this podcast these books are recommended:
- An Indigenous People's History Of The United States - Purchase Here
- Stamped From The Beginning - Purchase Here
Book Club: The Book Of Longings
Sue Monk Kidd's newest book, "The Book Of Longings" is popular in my house. I've asked my wife and partner, Brandi Manes, to come on and talk about the importance of this book. We promise there are no spoilers! Instead of telling you about the book, we wanted to share some of our reactions to seeing the humanity of Jesus, listening to the quiet or suppressed voices of faith and listening for the calling of God - yes, we got all of that from this book.
Prayer As Presence, Prayer As Listening
The Reconstruction Calls Podcast is all about rethinking how we do the things of faith in a new way. Prayer is a difficult one for so many. We grew up petitioning God for our football team to win or the always good prayer from the not-so-religious uncle on Thanksgiving. This episode with my friend Glenn Simmons is a conversation on prayer. Glenn is someone whose prayer practice I admire - his strong connection to the "creator" through his embrace of native-American spirituality has taught me a lot. So listen in to hear a conversation on prayer, the sacred feminine and experiencing God through nature. Additionally we play a game called "Country Song or It Ain't" so come test your skills on some of the most epically named country songs of all time.
Nostalgia, Authenticity & Connection: Talking Reconstructed Music
My friends Eric & Amy Bird are good people to just talk music with. In my spiritual director training I was introduced to the idea of Holy Listening which is essentially sitting with the same subject (like art or music) for a long period of time and just continuing to look and look again to understand the nuance. I want to begin this conversation and hope to return to it with other guests in the future; How has reconstruction changed the way you listen to music. For Eric, Amy and myself we find ourselves living somewhere in nostalgia, authenticity and a connection to stories. Along the way we will learn that the Reconstruction Calls podcast is trying to set a record for getting Enneagram 5's to talk and we play a game called Nickelback, Creed or Hootie & The Blowfish.
Dreams and A Deep Trust
In this episode of "Reconstruction Calls," Spiritual Director Aaron Manes talks with fellow spiritual director Kim Verriere. Kim is the founder of the Greater Love Collective (www.greaterlovecollective.org) which as a group is fostering self-discovery through Soulwork, Creativity, and Activism. The GLC provides both resources in these areas and a safe community in which to explore them. Another thing about Kim, and the reason she is on this episode, is that for several years she has been tracking and working with her dreams as part of her faith journey. So mute your line and listen in on this conversation of intentional reflection, listening to your deepest self and hearing from God in a new way; plus you will hear Aaron sing a little Billy Ocean.
Learn more and listen at www.aaronmanes.com
Reconstructing Faith Using The Twelve Steps
In this episode of "Reconstruction Calls," Spiritual Director Aaron Manes talks with Rev. Chris Terry about her journey to sobriety and why using the twelve step program as a guide can help all of us learn about ourselves and how to treat our own power as reconstructed people. Additionally they also play a game called "It's The End Of The World As We Know It" and talk typologies along the way.
About the Guest: Rev. Chris Terry is the founding minister at HeartSpace Spiritual Center. Her preferred title is HOSS – Head of Spiritual Stuff. She enjoys a lighthearted approach to self and life. She is driven and guided by curiosity and the need to learn, and she lives most happily in the world of ideas and possibilities.
While her passion is helping people grow, her genius lies in helping them discover and discard the patterns that block their inherent wholeness, freeing them to live in their own zone of genius.
Chris’s background is as diverse as her heritage, and includes entrepreneurship, volunteerism and alcoholism (recovered). She began her ministerial training the day she was born, but was formally trained through the Holmes Institute, where she received a Master’s Degree in Consciousness Studies and was trained as a Science of Mind and Spirit Minister. Her ministerial license is through the Centers for Spiritual Living, an international organization over a quarter of a million strong. The Centers for Spiritual Living spiritual communities, including HeartSpace, are realizing the vision of a world that works for everyone and a life that works for each.
Reconstruction Calls - Episode 4 with Rev. Chris Terry
Talking Non-dualistic Worship Music With Ryan Flanigan from Liturgical Folk
Spiritual director Aaron Manes calls his friend Ryan Flanigan (Worship Director at All Saints Anglican Church in Dallas, TX, and founder of Liturgical Folk - www.liturgicalfolk.com) to talk about reconstructing church music in an era of contemporary and traditional worship services - they also play a game called “OT or T. Swift” along the way.
Reconstruction Calls - Faith As A Jenga Tower with Kenton Self
Spiritual Director Aaron Manes, calls his friend Kenton Self to talk about the process of deconstruction, and they talk about René Girard, Brian McLaren and Amy Grant.
Reconstruction Calls with Mike & Kari Baumann
Spiritual Director Aaron Manes calls his friends Mike and Kari Baumann to talk about evolving in faith as partners and walking the road of parenting as reconstructed people. We talk about everything from Enneagram to DC Talk to growing up adjacent to Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker.