Recess

When we want to change our lives, we must find building blocks we can consistently rest on. Starting of season 2, we'll be looking at how the change process can happen. Our first foundation is Curiosity. Curiosity to ourselves, our mental health difficulties, and our bodies can change how we move forward. Moving form judgement towards curiosity is key! Welcome back to Recess, I'm glad you're here

Source: Adam Young, LCSW (Place We Find Ourselves Podcast)

So many people are living their lives with a desire to prove their worth. Maybe they've had relationships go poorly or parents who never showed care. I can often fall into these desirse as well. The truth is, if we've been hurt by people In our past, we may be trying to prove it to them in the attempt to give our younger selves something we lacked. In this, we can stay in situations and relationships that aren't healthy. Naming this truth and realizing our own worth can help us move towards healthier ways of life! 

Reference: 

"healing fantasies" is a phrase from the book "Adult children of emotionally immature parents." https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents-ebook/dp/B00TZE87S4

On this episode of Recess, we have our first guest speaker. Praise be! Therapist Mark Cadlaon shares his perspective on rest and it's different types. Rest may never be as important as it is today, such that Mark's words are especially important. 

Mark's Info:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/markcadlaon/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/mark-cadlaon-littleton-co/861709

https://gracecounseling.net/therapists/mark-cadlaon/

My Socials:

On this episode of Recess, I discuss how privileged identities, specifically mine, play into how I'm perceived in the mental health world. It's come to my attention that I have centered myself in too many ways and I want to work to change that narrative and be better. If we do not name and discuss privilege or marginalized identities that we hold, holistic mental health care is not possible. 

I'm going to do a better job moving forward! 

Support Jo Luehmann:

https://www.patreon.com/joluehmann

https://www.instagram.com/joluehmann/

https://twitter.com/JoLuehmann

Resource Document:

Today I discuss how changing patterns is the key to changing our lives. We look at patterns of self belief and behavior as well as the context that connection and awareness have in the process

NOTE: This Style of thought — Event->Belief->Behavior is built from Rational and Emotional Behavior Therapy from Albert Ellis.

Many of us want to know the road forward in identifying what type of romantic relationships or friendships we want. Whether we haven't dated before or we are currently in a bad relationship, we are trying to understand it all. In this episode, I walk through the path of figuring out how to learn what's healthy and what's best. Thanks for being here!

So many people are stuck in relationships where their partner struggle to emotionally connect, support, and express. Even if partners are not bad people, do not betray us in physical ways, and are generally tangibly supportive, it may be difficult to feel loved and valued if the emotional connection is not present. In episode 31, we look at the subject of emotional maturity as it relations to romantic relationships. We look at both partners perspectives in the hopes that we can learn and move forward towards health, whatever that looks like. 

Gottman Link:

So many of us expereince a unique sense of discointiut and disruption within ourselves over the course of the pandemic we continue to find ourselves in. During the early shut downs especially, we were taken out of our normal rhythm. If our identity, our sense of worthy and value, was primarily placed on external things and the "doings" of life, we may have found ourselves struggling to know who we were.

On this episode, we discuss why proper prioritization of identity, specifically finding our worthy primarily from the internal identity, can be so helpful as we move towards health and growth!

Social Media

Instagram.com/ReidiBervik (mental health)

Welcome to the final part of our series on depression. We close with some musings on the intricate balance between suffering and hope. Being able to accept what we cannot control, the difficulties of life, and find hope and belief that better days are possible is the path towards emotional maturity.

Join me for episode 25 as we discuss the balance and how to move towards it.

Research on the benefits of hope:

Self-healing is a social media trend that is impacting many in negative ways. We are encouraged to be doing so much work on ourselves constantly, which has actually been shown to harm mental health. Not only are we being given so much work to do, we are often doing such work alone. The culture of individualism has made it okay to self-actualize by ourselves without relational assistance.The biggest part of therapy that is helpful to individuals is often the client therapist relationship.

Relationships hurt and relationships heal. Come join for episode 19 where we discuss! 

Reid’s Socials: (YouTube coming soon) 

Recess Tik Tok: Recesspodcas

Twitter, IG: ReidBervik

Mental Health IG: ReidiBervik

Facebook: Reid I Bervik

Tik Tik: Funny: reiderrrr; Mental Health: Reid Bervik

The faith world was caught up in the response to Lil Was X and his most recent movie video. On This episode we discuss some of the reactions and how it pertains to our pursuit of faith deconstruction and health! 

Reid’s Socials:

Recess Tik Tok: Recesspodcas

Twitter, IG: ReidBervik

Mental Health IG: ReidiBervik

Facebook: Reid I Bervik

Tik Tik: Funny: reiderrrr; Mental Health: Reid Bervik

We continue our dangers of individualism series in part 3 where we look at the immense pressure to produce many of us experiences. We take a systems approach and see how we are effected by what is around us.

It’s important to realize where we find our value and becoming self-aware of the lessons we have learned that may not be helpful. Crafting our self-esteem independent of what we do is so key.

Reid’s Socials:

Recess Tik Tok: Recesspodcas

Twitter, IG: ReidBervik

Mental Health IG: ReidiBervik

Facebook: Reid I Bervik

Tik Tik: Funny: reiderrrr; Mental Health: Reid Bervik

From birth until death each human being shares the act of development. We are constantly growing and changing, or missing our growth points and living in unhealthy ways. Faith is no different.

Our spirituality also has stages of development and on episode 16 we discuss a few of the stages that are really key in faith deconstruction. Can we move away from faiths that lack critical thinking and can we move to becoming more open handed? We look at James Fowler’s Stages of faith in the hopes to answer this question!

Boulder Help:

The Effects of Social Isolation have been well documented and well researched. A pronounced “lack of social connection heightens health risks as much as smoking 15 cigarettes a day or having alcohol use disorder.”

Depression, anxiety, and substance use problems are just some of the effects of isolation. Many of us have felt this in light of the pandemic.

In episode 15 we discuss the topic and look at how we can begin to change our patterns of isolation and move towards community.

References:

https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Nicholas-Rohde/publication/276485075_Estimating_the_Mental_Health_Effects_of_Social_Isolation/links/55668ba308aec22682ff1c77/Estimating-the-Mental-Health-Effects-of-Social-Isolation.pdf

Taking a break from faith and spirituality can be a helpful part of faith deconstruction. We were trained to always be doing, always be praying, always be sharing our faith. Taking a break, however, can help us build an identity that isn’t totally reliant on our religion.

In episode 14, we discuss how helpful taking a break can be for our health and for our rebuilding process!

To help our Asian-American community in light of the terrorism this past week: 

bit.ly/DonateToGeorgiaAAPICommunity 

bit.ly/GeorgiaAAPIcommunityCare

Reid’s Socials:

Tik Tik: Recesspodcas; Funny: reiderrrr; Mental Health: Reid Bervik

Twitter, IG: ReidBervik

Mental Health IG: ReidiBervik

Facebook: Reid I Bervik

Often times we try to connect our behaviors and emotions back to events that we experience. Much of the time however, our core beliefs are the driving force. What we deem to be true about ourselves dictates much of how we move and feel. If we have unhealthy beliefs about ourselves this can lead to harmful behaviors or emotions.

In episode 11, we discuss core beliefs and the ABC method of trying to dispute our irrational thoughts!

Reid’s Socials:

Twitter, IG: ReidBervik

Mental Health IG: ReidiBervik

Facebook: Reid I Bervik

Tik Tik: Funny: reiderrrr; Mental Health: Reid Bervik

To begin to talk about faith deconstruction we have to define our terms. Deconstruction isn’t just about tearing something down, it’s about the renovation, rebuilding process as well. We grow and change, add new rooms, redesign old rooms. We learn something things down as we build some new things up. We are evolving and changing all the time! It is not linear and it is lifelong.

Come join on episode 11 of Recess as we talk about our new faith deconstruction Thursdays!

Two Deconstruction accounts I Like:

IG: Joluehmann

IG: JemarTisby

Reid’s Socials:

Twitter, IG: ReidBervik

Mental Health IG: ReidiBervik

Facebook: Reid I Bervik

Tik Tik: Funny: reiderrrr; Mental Health: Reid Bervik

Conflict is a constant in our lives. Whether in our jobs, our friends groups, or our families, we will face conflict. It's unavoidable. In the midst of this reality, we each possess a certain conflict style. We have patterns in habits surrounding how we like to face conflict, or not face it. Often times, this is birthed from our families of origin. As we grow into adulthood, we must realize the newfound power we possess that can allow us to decide how we want to move forward. On episode 10, we discuss different types of family conflict styles. We look at the importance of awareness and how it can help lead us towards a path of new decisions, and new ways of handling conflict. 

Reid’s Socials:

Twitter, IG: Reid Bervik

Facebook: Reid I Bervik

Tik Tik: Funny: reiderrrr; Mental Health: Reid Bervik

In systems that only care about our outputs, we have to be extremely resistant and intentional to pursue rest for our selves. Rest is two parts: relaxing and restorative. It takes practice and must often be scheduled into our daily and weekly life. To pursue rest for ourselves is to believe we are worthy of being recharged and restore. Let's rest, friends. 

Reid’s Socials:

Twitter, IG: Reid Bervik

Facebaook: Reid I Bervik

Tik Tik: Funny: reiderrrr; Mental Health: Reid Bervik

TEXAS MUTUAL AID: 

Mutual Aid Houston: Venmo/Twitter @mutualaidhou

North Texas Rural Resilience: Venmo @ntrr4yall

Austin Mutual Aid: Venmo @austinmutualaid

Feed The People Dallas: Venmo/CashApp @feedthepeopledallas

FunkyTown Fridge: Venmo @funkytownfridge

DFW Mutual Aid: VenmoCashApp @dfwmutualaid

A brutal cold front moved over much of the US, causing particularly sever problems in Texas and their electricity grid. In episode 8, we discuss the systems that are at the root of the issues and the dire reality of what we’re facing.

EDIT: Texas electricity grid remains isolated to Texas. This is what I meant in minute 3.

Resources:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/texas-blackouts-wind-turbines_n_602c4e16c5b62767c0aaa263

“They Daily” Podcast Episode on the Texas Freeze:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-daily/id1200361736?i=1000509520078

Reid’s Socials:

Twitter, IG: Reid Bervik

Facebaook: Reid I Bervik

Tik Tik: Funny: reiderrrr; Mental Health: Reid Bervik

Emotional Neglect is one of the most difficult pains to work through because it’s a type of invisible pain. We dismiss it for years and invalidate our experiences. Come listen in for episode seven where we discuss emotional neglect, it’s signs, and ways of recovery!

Check out my Website! I offer 1-1 mental health coaching and host a blog: reidbervik.com

Reid’s Socials:

Twitter, IG: Reid Bervik

Facebaook: Reid I Bervik

Tik Tik: Funny: reiderrrr; Mental Health: Reid Bervik

White Christianity is a specific sect of Christianity that has been in power in the US since it’s conception. Not only is it dangerous, but it has mass appeal and is even alive in some churches that don’t seem to be doing wrong.

It’s important to know how this intersects with politics and how our history as allowed it to take root. We must know before we can move to abolish it from this world.

On episode 6, we discuss Majorie Taylor Greene’s recent tweet about her politics and subsequent faith as a means for starting a conversation that is important for white christians everywhere.

Reid’s Socials:

Twitter, IG: Reid Bervik

Facebaook: Reid I Bervik

Tik Tik: Funny: reiderrrr; Mental Health: Reid Bervik

Human beings love habits.

We are, in fact, creatures of habit and live based on the patterns and frameworks that we have reinforced. Sometimes we develop unhealthy patterns and really desire change.

In episode 5 we dive into conversation surrounding the brain, neural pathways and neuroplasticity where we learn that change is possible at any moment.

Reid’s Socials:

Twitter, IG: Reid Bervik

Facebaook: Reid I Bervik

Tik Tik: Funny: reiderrrr; Mental Health: Reid Bervik

On episode four, we discuss some weighty matters and try to step into the grief that we are living in in the US. We are living in a constant state of trauma. The pandemic is still killing many, Black and brown people are still bearing the weight of much of its death. The US continues to let the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Many are calling for gratitude, and yet it’s shallow and cheap when centered around our privilege. We must be active in mourning with those who mourn in order to move towards fighting unjust systems. It’s important that Black History Month isn’t for the month. We must year round fight to end systems of white supremacy.

Reid’s Socials:

Twitter, IG: Reid Bervik

Facebaook: Reid I Bervik

Tik Tik: Funny: reiderrrr; Mental Health: Reid Bervik

On episode three we look at Attachment theory and how it may be a key part of understanding ourselves and our relationships. We touch on the four different attachment styles and affect regulation.

For me, knowing my attachment style (avoidant) has been key in helping me heal and move away from depression. I hope it’s helpful to you!

Reid’s Socials:

Twitter, IG: Reid Bervik

Facebaook: Reid I Bervik

Tik Tik: Funny: reiderrrr; Mental Health: Reid Bervik

References:

John Bowlby

Mary Ainsworth

On Episode 2 we discuss the Inauguration and the individualistic culture that plagues our politics. White folks must begin to see the value in “we” if we ever want to begin to right our society. So many Black activists have informed my view of this reality, some of which I note below. Thanks for listening!

Quick Note:

The term used “crazy republicans” that was used in this episode is wrong for two reasons:

1. It takes a term “crazy” which has been categorically used in negative contexts that can hurt those with mental disabilities. While language is an individual choice, I do not want to perpetuate this in the context I used it.
2. Those who stormed the capital were not uneducated, simple minded, hilly billy folk like the media and others try to tell. High level government officials, Ivy League alumni, and intelligent people attacked the nations capitol. White supremacy is not something around a lack of education but an ideology that is enforced through education and systems of development.

Regardless, forgive this contextual usage of the word. I will continue to strive to do better.

People I’ve learned from to inform me:

Twitter: @noname, @BreeNewsome, @AOC, @alwaystheself, @elisabethepps, Angela Davis

Reid’s Socials:

On Episode 1, we dive into an overview of trauma and how it could impact how we treat other people. This is no way to be comprehensive but a quick starter pack! There is so much more to learn, even for us in the field of mental health. (Also, off the top I say "welcome to another episode" even though this is the first one. Don't @ me for that, I'm just manifesting fam)

Here are some helpful resources:

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk

Trauma and Recovery by Judith Hermann

Reid’s Socials:

Twitter, FB, IG: Reid Bervik

Tik Tik:

• Funny: reiderrrr
• Mental Health: Reid Bervik

Music:

Welcome to the trailer! My name is Reid Bervik and on this "episode" I give a very brief overview of what this podcast is going to be. On Recess, we will discuss mental health, faith deconstruction and reconstruction, and current events. I want to give a little bit of time and space to curiously engage a topic that has meaning. I'm glad you're here! 

Reid's Social: 

IG & Twitter: reidbervik

Tik Tok: Mental Health Channel- Reid Bervik. Funny channel- reiderrrr

Music: