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Relationship Psych | Love | Marriage | Conflict | Psychology |

Relationship Psych | Love | Marriage | Conflict | Psychology |

By Amber Dalsin

Turn the embers of a distant and lonely relationship into a blazing emotionally intimate connection.

Are you tired of conflict? Do you dream of a secure and peaceful relationship?

Welcome to Relationship Psych, The Podcast.

The goal is to teach you to create a strong and connected relationship, that withstands the test of time.

Each week I share stories, practical strategies, and have inspiring conversations with guests to help you get and keep the relationship you and your partner dream of. Let's find out how to avoid relationship disaster and become relationship masters.
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Currently playing episode

39. 5 Reasons Couples Therapy Will Not Work for You

Relationship Psych | Love | Marriage | Conflict | Psychology |Mar 01, 2021

00:00
11:12
122. 4 sticking points to overcome to be a better communicator

122. 4 sticking points to overcome to be a better communicator

If you and your partner want to improve your communication in 2024, here are 4 common sticking points that you will need to overcome.

January is a time of New Year resolutions, commitments to do better, and learning something new.

Here are 4 things to consider if you and your partner want to improve your communication in 2024.

 

This podcast is for informational purposes only.

Jan 02, 202416:03
121. Questions to ask yourself if you’re not sure your relationship is for you with Alexandra Schelling

121. Questions to ask yourself if you’re not sure your relationship is for you with Alexandra Schelling

If you are wondering if you and your partner are compatible, or if you should break up, Alexandra has questions to consider to help you decide if you want to continue in your relationship.

 

This podcast is for educational purposes only.

Dec 19, 202352:07
120. Compatiblity in Long Term Relationships

120. Compatiblity in Long Term Relationships

If you are looking for a sustainable, long-term relationship, this is the episode for you. Dr. Gottman reviews how to find safety and security in a love relationship.


This podcast is for informational purposes only.

Dec 06, 202306:31
119. Satisfaction in long term relationships with Dr. Jennifer Guttman

119. Satisfaction in long term relationships with Dr. Jennifer Guttman

If you are looking for a sustainable, long-term relationship, this is the episode for you. Dr. Gottman reviews how to find safety and security in a love relationship.


This podcast is for informational purposes only.

Nov 14, 202352:55
118. Sleep and a Happy Relationship

118. Sleep and a Happy Relationship

After being sleep-deprived, I was reminded about how important sleep is to a happy, healthy and harmonious relationship.

At risk of sharing overly simplistic suggestions, in this podcast we are talking about the importance of good sleep hygiene and the impact on a relationship.

 

This podcast is for informational purposes only.  


Nov 01, 202312:14
117. Healing Mind Body Concerns with Tanner Murtagh and Anne Hampson
Oct 03, 202344:55
116. Why is my partner defensive and how to change it

116. Why is my partner defensive and how to change it

Have you tried to raise an issue to your partner and rather than hear you, they whine, make excuses, or worse – they turn the issue on you?

Maybe you are the person who responds in these ways, and you don’t know why you do this.

 

In this podcast I will cover the common reasons people are defensive, and how to overcome it.

In this podcast we discuss:

- 5 reasons people are defensive

- The role of criticism

- What to do if you’re defensive

- Tools to change defensiveness

- Tools to decrease the chances your partner is defensive

 

 

This podcast is for informational purposes only.

 

Sep 19, 202318:23
115. The Connection between Sexual Arousal and Imagination with Gina Gutierrez
Sep 09, 202347:00
114. Avoid the Gottmans’ 4 Horsemen and Save your Relationship
Aug 22, 202315:01
113. Being Intentionally Selfish with Naketa Ren Thigpen

113. Being Intentionally Selfish with Naketa Ren Thigpen

This authentic conversation about struggles, triumphs and the courage to be selfish with herself left me compelled to be more vulnerable and braver in so many areas of my life.

If you are looking for a story about overcoming incredible odds to overcome challenges, breaking multi-generational cycles and healing this is the podcast for you.

 

 

This podcast is for informational purposes only.

Aug 08, 202349:59
112. 2 ways to improve emotional connection in your relationship

112. 2 ways to improve emotional connection in your relationship

Yesterday I sat down at the dinner table with my husband, and we ate in silence. We were both tired, it had been a long day, and I thought “what if this is what our relationship was like?”. I would probably feel lonely, disconnected, and bored.

I can imagine over a series of silent dinner eating, I might feel like we are drifting apart. Or I might even get mad on the inside that he wasn’t talking to me (even though I could have initiated the dialogue).

I have clients tell me that at first the silence was like an ache in their chest, but over time the ache hardened into awall. They stopped caring that they weren’t connected, instead they built a wall between them and their partner and shut down their emotional connection.

If you have had many moments in silence, are feeling disconnected, and want to rekindle the connection between you and your partner, here are some practical tools to help you do that.


1. Use conversation starters to help you have great connections.


2. Think/talk about what is going right.

 

We have gone over two tools to help improve your emotional connection. Look, you can’t start and keep a fire going without fuel and a spark. In your relationship, you need a spark of willingness to take action, and the fuel is both partners engaging repeatedly in actions/beliefs that will fuel the relationship.

Connection isn’t a one-and-done process. It needs to be consistently worked on over the course of the relationship to keep the connection alive.

 

This podcast is for informational purposes only.

 

Jul 18, 202310:46
111. Assess Your Instincts and Improve Your Relationship with Dr. Veronica Anderson
Jul 04, 202358:24
110. Healing through Connection with Dr Glenn & Phyllis Hill

110. Healing through Connection with Dr Glenn & Phyllis Hill

If you and your partner have felt disconnected, are getting stuck on conflict, or just want to rekindle the spark in your relationship, this episode is for you.

 

Dr Glenn & Phyllis Hill cover how to use the Connection Codes framework to help couples connect emotionally, and even overcome conflict in as little as 4 minutes.

 

Core Emotional Wheel Freebie Click here. https://www.connectioncodes.co/amber

 

Discount code: amber20

 

Book The Connection Codes click here

 

Website click here https://www.connectioncodes.co/

 

  

Dr. Glenn & Phyllis Hill spent the first 30 years of their marriage living in disconnect. Their first sexual experience sent them into years of avoidance and pain. Dr. Glenn was so determined to find out what went wrong that he went back to school & became a Marriage & Family Therapist and a Clinical Sexologist. But, it wasn't until he dug deep into emotional regulation where he discovered the source of all of their disconnect. From there, Dr Glenn & Phyllis created The Connection Codes which is a framework to help couples connect emotionally and physically using their 4-minute tool.

Now, they are authors, speakers, and have Connection Coders in over 50 countries who are living in peace in their relationships.

 

This podcast is for informational purposes only.

Jun 20, 202354:41
109. 6 Ways to Become a Better Listener
Jun 06, 202314:40
108. Recovering from Stress with Dr. Doni Wilson
May 23, 202340:22
107. How to Make Your Relationship Happier with Ricky Arenson
May 09, 202353:23
106. Creating Intimacy in Relationships with Alexandra Stockwell, M.D.
Apr 25, 202353:02
105. How to handle jealousy in a relationship with Dr. Joli Hamilton
Apr 11, 202353:09
104. 3 Essential Skills for Managing Conflict

104. 3 Essential Skills for Managing Conflict

Have you ever wished to be heard, that you felt safe to bring up difficult topics, or maybe you just wanted you and your partner to be good role models for your kids when it comes to how to fight?

If you have, this episode is for you.

In this episode, we cover a sensitive topic that comes up in relationships. We cover 3 essential skills for managing conflict.

 

This podcast is for informational purposes only.

Mar 28, 202316:48
103. Breaking Intergenerational Cycles with Kara Hoppe

103. Breaking Intergenerational Cycles with Kara Hoppe

Have you ever found yourself behaving in the same way as one of your parents? Or Maybe you find yourself acting as if you are back in your family home even though you are a grown adult who has created a life of their own?

If you relate to either of these, this podcast is all about breaking cycles and living with intention.


In this podcast we discuss:

- What cycles are

- How to become aware of your patterns

- How to collaborate with your partner

- How agreements can help you and your partner make changes

- How win-win solutions can help

- Why expressing needs are important


Kara’s website: https://www.karahoppe.com/

Baby Bomb Book: https://www.karahoppe.com/the-book


Kara Hoppe, MA, MFT, is a psychotherapist, teacher, feminist, and mother. She has spent more than a decade as an inclusive therapist working with individuals and couples toward healing and growing, and toward becoming grounded, integrated people with better access to their own instincts, wisdom, and creativity. Hoppe also offers virtual retreats for parents and expectant couples, based on her book Baby Bomb: A Relationship Survival Guide for New Parents, a 2021 INDIES finalist. Her work has been featured in The Atlantic, Parents Magazine, Fatherly, and YourTango, among other publications. She lives with her husband and two children in Pioneertown, CA, and sees clients in private practice via telehealth.



This podcast is for informational purposes only.

Mar 14, 202345:53
102. How bids for connection can create a deeper relationship

102. How bids for connection can create a deeper relationship

If you’ve ever felt like your relationship is lacking connection, you feel ignored, or your partner dismisses you, this podcast is for you. In this episode, we talk about what a bid for connection is, and how understanding them and turning towards them can create emotional intimacy, connection, and increase relationship satisfaction.


This podcast is for informational purposes only.

Feb 28, 202311:46
101. The Power of Healing in Groups with Tanya Cole-Lesnick

101. The Power of Healing in Groups with Tanya Cole-Lesnick

If you’ve wondered if you're loveable, if there is something about you others wouldn’t like, or if you were vulnerable others wouldn’t like you, this episode is for you.


In this episode:

· Tanya shares how she overcame her limiting beliefs, and how that lead to finding her husband

· How to find alignment in your life

· How to let go of energetic clutter

· The power of group therapy

· How group therapy helps


Tanya’s website: https://www.tanyacole-lesnick.com/


This podcast is for informational purposes only.

Feb 14, 202349:21
100. What’s beneath the conflict with Figs O’Sullivan
Jan 31, 202348:30
99. New Parents & Partnership – Tips for Healthy a Relationship with Kara Hoppe

99. New Parents & Partnership – Tips for Healthy a Relationship with Kara Hoppe

Having a new bundle of joy is truly a delight for many, but it also comes with predicted and unexpected challenges. Between navigating feedings, sleep schedules, diaper changes and showering yourself, you are left to navigate the relationship with your new baby and your partner.


In this podcast we discuss:

● Common challenges new parents face

● How come parenting issues can be so hot

● How to get in touch with your needs

● How to express your needs

● What attachment is

● Attachment Styles

● Secure Functioning

● Tips for connection with your partner


Link to the book Baby Bomb https://www.karahoppe.com/the-book

Link to Kara’s Website: https://www.karahoppe.com/

Kara’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karahoppe/


Link to ep 79: Attachment Styles and Building a Happy Relationship with Stan Tatkin https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/79-attachment-styles-and-building-a-happy/id1412479463?i=1000557392696


About Kara Hoppe, MA, MFT: She is a psychotherapist, teacher, feminist, and mother. She has spent more than a decade as an inclusive therapist working with individuals and couples toward healing and growing, and toward becoming grounded, integrated people with better access to their own instincts, wisdom, and creativity. Hoppe also offers virtual retreats for parents and expectant couples, based on her book Baby Bomb: A Relationship Survival Guide for New Parents, a 2021 INDIES finalist. Her work has been featured in The Atlantic, Parents Magazine, Fatherly, and YourTango, among other publications. She lives with her husband and two children in Pioneertown, CA, and sees clients in private practice via telehealth.


This podcast is for informational purposes only.

Jan 17, 202353:41
98. Fondness and Admiration: Secrets to Emotionally Intimate Relationships

98. Fondness and Admiration: Secrets to Emotionally Intimate Relationships

Have you ever thought, I want to feel

· Liked

· Loved

· Respected

· Cherished

· Appreciated

If you answered yes, you are wanting to strengthen or maintain your relationship fondness and admiration system. In Gottman and Silver’s 1999 book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work they outline one of the 7 pillars is the fondness and admiration system.

In this podcast we cover:

· What the fondness and admiration system is

· Why the fondness and admiration system is so important

· Why contempt isn’t helpful in relationships

· How to strengthen your fondness and admiration system


This podcast is for informational purposes only.

Jan 10, 202311:52
97. Attachment – The Anxious Avoidant Trap + How to Get Out of It with Nicole Walker
Dec 27, 202253:01
96. 6 Steps for Healing After a Fight

96. 6 Steps for Healing After a Fight

I know how much it sucks to be distant from your partner, to walk on eggshells wondering if your next step is going to set off a landmine, feeling hurt frustrated abandoned overwhelmed and not sure how to repair. All couples are going to have fights and it's important to learn how to make things better after these fights happen.
In this podcast, we talk about
· Ways to increase the chances you will talk about your fight without fighting again
· That you can both be right
· Listening to the reasonable part of what your partner is saying
· Managing triggers
· Avoiding destructive communication
· Apologising

This podcast is for informational purposes only.
Dec 13, 202208:58
95. An Exploration of Non-monogamy and Open Relationships with Rachel Wright
Dec 03, 202253:20
94. 6 Examples of Helpful Relationship Actions from Love is Blind Season 3

94. 6 Examples of Helpful Relationship Actions from Love is Blind Season 3

I have been obsessed with Love is Blind. Reality TV about Love is my jam. I think I work with couples because I love love… so this show tugs at every heartstring.

It is easy to point out things they have done wrong, you don’t need to be a couples therapist to watch and go “ooooofffff bad move”. And if you’re struggling to understand some of the moments that maybe could have gone different, just go on Instagram and look at the memes…

In this episode we are looking at 6 moments that went right.


THERE ARE LOVE IS BLIND SPOILERS in this episode.


This episode is for informational purposes only.

Nov 15, 202213:18
93. Why Sleep Is Important with Terry Cralle
Nov 01, 202252:50
92. 5 Tools to Help You Survive a Long-Distance Relationship

92. 5 Tools to Help You Survive a Long-Distance Relationship

Long distance is hard.


· You are lonely.

· You do miss each other.

· You fight over silly things because you miss each other and you’re sensitive.

· You have different expectations for how connection looks, texting, phone calls, and what your in-person time should be like.


I get it, my husband and I dated long-distance for 14 months. We would fight about things like:

· The appropriate amount of time it takes to text back

· When to schedule longer calls

· How often we should talk on the phone

· Who should come see who and when

· What our time should look like we when actually saw each other.


These months were some of my loneliest, but when I saw him, it was often exhilarating.


Here are some tips that helped.

1. Discuss your expectations around contact.

2. Build rituals of connection for contact.

3. Strategize around what your time together will look like and how often you will see each other.

4. Build a social circle for yourself.

5. Acceptance, life on life’s terms.



This podcast is for informational purposes only.

Oct 18, 202208:08
91. Women’s Sexuality and Changes Over the Lifespan with Jessica Elizabeth Cole
Oct 04, 202249:20
90. Why Couples Fight
Sep 20, 202220:39
89. Emotional Intimacy with Dr. Wyatt Fisher
Sep 06, 202246:37
88. Building Meaningful Relationships with Tamara Henningham
Aug 23, 202247:55
87. 6 Signs You’re Compatible with Your Partner

87. 6 Signs You’re Compatible with Your Partner

If you’re in a romantic relationship and found yourself wondering “are we compatible?”, “is love enough?”, or “what if we don’t have chemistry?”, this episode will help you understand the difference between compatibility and chemistry. It will also give you a framework to evaluate if you and your partner have enough in common to be compatible, with or without chemistry.

In this episode I discuss:

· The difference between chemistry and compatibility in a relationship

· Neurotransmitters involved in chemistry

· Why love isn’t enough

· 6 components of compatibility in a relationship


This episode is for informational purposes only.

Aug 09, 202211:21
86. When Pornography Becomes a Problem with Wendy Maltz

86. When Pornography Becomes a Problem with Wendy Maltz

Have you ever wondered “why would my partner rather watch porn than be with me?”, or maybe you’ve started to think your pornography use is becoming excessive and aren’t sure how to stop? If you relate to either of these things, this podcast is worth a listen. 


In this podcast we discuss:

Factors leading to compulsive pornography use

The impact of pornography of relationships

What to do if you think you may have a problem with pornography

Tips to make quitting pornography easier

Healing as a couple after betrayal 


Wendy Maltz is an internationally recognized psychotherapist, sex therapist, and expert on healthy sexuality and sexual recovery. 


This podcast is for informational purposes only. 

Jul 19, 202247:25
85. How to have deeper conversations with your spouse

85. How to have deeper conversations with your spouse

What to do to feel closer, have a deeper connection and have conversations that can go on for hours.


FREE GUIDE the Emotional Intimacy Cheat Sheet

This is a conversation guide with 36 questions designed to help you and your partner deepen your connection through conversation.


https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/emotional-intimacy-cheat-sheet

Click the link to get the free guide.


This podcast is for informational purposes only.

Jul 05, 202211:54
84. 6 Common Relationship Problems with Isabella Gondek
Jun 21, 202244:57
83. 2 Common Communication Struggles

83. 2 Common Communication Struggles

If you’re like me, you probably went to school for 12 years, but never learned a key skill for connection and belonging – communication.

Many of my clients tell me they struggle to

· share how they feel because they fear their partner will be defensive.

· Stay level headed enough to understand the other person’s point of view

· Clearly communicate their needs

· Feel like their partner cares about their needs

Do you relate?

In this podcast, we will cover some of the answers to these questions, 2 communication struggles, and 3 tips for better communication.

This podcast is for informational purposes only.

Jun 07, 202216:44
82. How to Have Connecting Conversations with Dr. Jessica Higgins
May 24, 202257:12
81. Betrayal Trauma with Liz Lacy
May 10, 202249:40
80. 6 Signs It’s Safe to Trust Your Partner
Apr 26, 202213:28
79: Attachment Styles and Building a Happy Relationship with Stan Tatkin
Apr 12, 202249:57
78. 3 Tips for Peaceful Conversations
Mar 29, 202211:17
77. Strategies for Better Communication with Nancy Evan and Scott Aaron.

77. Strategies for Better Communication with Nancy Evan and Scott Aaron.

Strategies for Better Communication with Nancy Evan and Scott Aaron. 

In this episode do a deep dive into what Nancy and Scott do to nurture their friendship and keep the lines of communication open. 

Whether your relationship is struggling because you feel like you’re disconnected, don’t know what to talk about anymore, or struggle to hear what your partner is telling you, there is a nugget of gold in this episode for you. 

In this episode we cover:

- Communicating the hard things before they bubble over

- The use of conversation cards keeps conversations flowing

- How to balance running a business together and being a couple

- Why they don’t yell at each other

- How to work together as a team 


To learn more about the online course Communication Cures click here: https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/communication-cures


Nancy- https://www.instagram.com/thebyobagency/?hl=en @thebyobagency

Scott- https://www.instagram.com/scottaaronlinkedin/?hl=en @scottaaron 

Website- https://www.thetimetogrow.com/ 


This podcast is for informational purposes only. 


Mar 15, 202256:18
76. How Taking Responsibility Led to Deep & Authentic Love with John Romaniello
Mar 01, 202201:21:09
75. 3 Reasons You Should Care About Fighting Fair
Feb 15, 202212:58
74. Goal setting – More than New Years Resolutions
Feb 01, 202209:09
73. How sex becomes compulsive or addictive with Liz Lacy
Dec 14, 202148:57