The Retro Breakdown

Okay, we can't be the only ones, right? Lots of people have to remember that swing set.

Probably more people than remember The Wily Wars.

Everybody has that one game that just absorbs them for a couple weeks - or months - and they can't break out of it.

For the record, the answer to the question is no, I am not.

What are we even talking about this week? Everything! Nothing! Volleyball, golf, video games, Nintendo discovering Newgrounds in 2024.

It's a crazy week, please enjoy.

I'm not playing it yet, but I'm PERILOUSLY close to it.

Also, the Mega Man march continues, and we both agree that while this Game Boy Mega Man is one of the best ones, we also are both very ready to be done with Game Boy Mega Man.

One more to go.

It's a rapid-fire segment of games we're playing and not playing this week, including Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth, Persona 3 Reload, Unicorn Overlord, Monster Hunter Now, and of course, Kick Master.

It gets kind of worse the more you play it.

This podcast is super recent and recorded super on time. It is about things that are happening now and definitely not things from two weeks ago, like the Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth demo and the Nintendo Partner direct.

Also, we talk Akio Otsuka's singing voice and also literally why is Shun Akiyama like this?

Tom has a tendency to be extra forgiving to games that feature characters that he enjoys. Tom really, REALLY likes TMNT.

Tom does not like this game. That's probably the harshest thing you can say about it.

Also, Kojima?

Like a Dragon, Sea of Stars endgame, and a funny little ball tank.

We can't say for sure, but this game MAY have invented a bunch of Kirby explosions and graphics.

In fact, the tank itself is just a big circle...

Breaking news: New Like a Dragon game has very good and expansive minigame that is more than it initially appears. Shocking, I know. Almost like this happens every time.

Mega Man 5 is really, really good, by the way. Outstanding level and boss designs on display here.

In which Dr. Wily invents time travel in order to beat Mega Man and then uses it in the most nonsensical way imaginable and then does not, in fact, beat Mega Man.

Also, The Fated Hour quests, Persona 3 thoughts, cursed images, and which game has the best jump?

This week, we discuss the new Like a Dragon, driving lessons from Initial D, the games we would least like to see in a friend's Steam profile, and Tom discovers that he does not like Palworld.

Then we talk about how Perfect Dark completely eclipses Goldeneye 007 by doing everything it does but more and significantly better.

T of TKandM and the Metal Gear University podcast joins the podcast today for our first ever Dreamcast game on the podcast. Is it Sonic Adventure? Chu Chu Rocket? Skies of Arcadia?

No! It's a homebrew indie game from 2015 because of course it is.

Also - why jank Xbox 360 repairs actually worked, and what's going on with Johnathan Majors?

In about 70 minutes' time, we manage to potentially draw the ire of Nintendo, Disney, and Netflix lawyers. I think we have a fighting chance.

The new year begins with another Mega Man game! Also, chili with chocolate, Cheetos with ham, and excitement over a Pocket Circuit simulator standalone game even though it doesn't actually exist.

From TMNT 3: The Manhattan Project to Mega Man: Dr. Wily's Revenge, we recap every single game we covered in 2023 and put it on a tier list based on how much we would recommend it!

Check out the final tier list in TW's Discord!

Also, we'll be taking a week break for the holidays, we'll be back on January 9th!

Dr. Wily takes his revenge by changing up his homework a little bit so it doesn't look like he copied.

Also 90's game cheats are legendary.

On a whim, we check out the absurdly-rare Shinrei Jusatsushi Taroumaru, a Time Warner Interactive game by some former Treasure staffers, so basically THIS IS SECRETLY A TREASURE GAME AND IT RULES.

Also, judge me for my bad airport takes, or judge me for HAVING takes on airports. We also have a quick Game Awards recap.

A holiday tradition continues as Tom and TW play a Home Alone game in December for the fourth year in a row! And somehow they appear to have found the worst and most irredeemable one!

Along the way we jump into the debate on what an indie game is, the Sega Master System collection in Like a Dragon Gaiden, and first game ads we remember drawing our teenage attention (or that of our friends) with the shameless exploitation of an attractive female form.

The biggest problem with Windows 11 is that it does most of the same stuff as Windows 10 but requires extra steps for no discernible reason.

Mega Man 3 is super good, why do people talk about 2 so much?

A below-average Castlevania game with an above-average soundtrack is today's topic, alongside the absolute celebration of the bizarre, parasocial relationships championed in Like a Dragon Gaiden: The Man Who Erased His Name.

More importantly, Pocket Circuit is not a racing game, ask me anything.

Tom and TW have a discussion about artistic perspective and how a pair of thighs shot a franchise to new heights.

No, we do not talk about Mega Man's thighs. Like at all.

We're in the midst of a Classic Capcom run as we roll on with Little Nemo this week!

Also, what's up with that weird split-screen Nintendo Switch successor prototype? Or Konami not making games?

And I promise we'll find something to talk about next week that isn't Fire Emblem.

Sure, we talked about some stuff, but nevermind that, play Sweet Home, this is one of the most fascinating and ambitious games of the 1980s. It's awesome. Here's why.

The beginning of a long-running series that we reserve the right to bail out from at any point, begins NOW!

Also, TW maybe understands a bit better why he dislikes motion controls, Marco's Pizza is just OK, and Roll is just written out of the story, but somehow not out of the ending.

Laura... Laura... Laura... LAURA!

A new season of Spy x Family has dropped and that sends us into a discussion about the changing ways manga has gotten adapted into anime over the years (spoilers: it's better now). Also, the 6 companies that own everything, more Monster Hunter Now, and Tom asks why he was forced to play this week's podcast game!

We're talking One Piece this week! Sort of! Tom is way behind in the manga, and TW watched a couple episodes of it back in 2006 or so, and also the whole thing is much older than we thought. Also, One Punch Man is still awesome.

Both of us went into this podcast ready to dump on this game, and question Nintendo for dumping random trash on their service, but ACTUALLY? Super ambitious, really impressive attempt at translating 3D graphics to the Game Boy Color. It still isn't GOOD, but we get why it's there as a technical showcase.

Turns out we both, independently, started playing Monster Hunter Now, the first Niantic game that has made any sense at all since they released Pokemon GO. You can definitely feel the guts of Pokemon GO - Niantic gonna Niantic, after all - but early impressions seem promising!

The second Oracle game is complete, and with it comes a discussion on Oracle of Seasons itself, comparisons between the two, and impressions of the "linked game" functionality. There's a lot to unpack in this one.

Also, Villain Bracket!

Dokapon Kingdom continues on a confluence of unusual events that end with hitting what amounts to a 20% critical hit and it's all TW's fault. At this point I don't even know if people care who wins as long as it's somebody.

Good. Dokapon is doing its job. Maybe it's over by now. Maybe not.

Like Zero Wing, Bad Dudes is best remembered for weird memes and that's for the best.

After a year, TW finally plays Fire Emblem Warriors: Three Hopes and cannot stop gushing about it. Also, Yakuza 5 hunting, the awkward conclusion of the spiky hair bracket, and the best idea for an arcade game that will absolutely never, ever, ever happen.

Today's parents are introducing their kids to old video games the way parents used to try to get their kids into older music or movies - change my mind.

Related: The album name is Tubthumper. The song name is Tubthumping. I do not know why.

This is like a part 1 of this podcast, as it's impossible to discuss all of Oracle of Ages without having also played Oracle of Seasons, but I haven't played Seasons yet, so that and the linked content will be covered in a future podcast (probably later this month)!

Please enjoy as a deceptive mobile game with ads that are just lies offers a sponsorship and is turned down live during the recording!

Also, a Vince McMahon conspiracy theory that is factually inaccurate in several ways but still plausible, first thoughts on Bomb Rush Cyberfunk, and a look into a second version of Rollergames (arcade) that is significantly worse than the main one, despite being visually impressive.

Tom delivers some hard truths about the reality of TW's recent game purchasing binge.

We discuss a random paperback book featuring fully broken-down strategies for beating the hottest video games of 1982.

Also, Gimmick is awesome and I can't believe I only just now played it. I also can't believe how many other people got paid for reviewing it without playing it at all.

It's time for a new week, a new game, and a new elimination bracket! We talk about Pikmin 4, the Zelda timeline and handheld Zelda games, and the weirdest possible way to play Crash Bandicoot.

Then it's Growl, a game that explodes like 400 times before you actually start playing it, and is basically average despite us spending almost the whole discussion talking about all the crazy stuff we liked about it.

It's shameless promotion time as TW has a sponsored stream for Lofty Sky Games! On August 8th at 7:00 PM EDT and August 10th at 8:00 PM EDT, he'll be checking out Shuyan Saga and Sky of Tides!

Also, the end of the bracket challenge!

Also, Kirby is a thing. It's not terrible but its novelty is unfortunately the best thing it has going for it.

Dokapon, Final Fantasy XVI, Fire Emblem, and the weirdest front-of-box feature maybe ever. We talk about things!

Tom and I have a lot to catch up on, so this podcast is a big one! Elevation sickness, Fire Emblem Engage, Tears of the Kingdom, bad hotel TVs, and Back to the Future are all on the docket this week!

Oh, and intellectual property licensing rights to popular comic book characters. For no real reason. Don't worry about it.

TW and Tom recap one of the wildest Dokapon sessions imaginable, briefly touch on Fire Emblem Engage, and recap all the other Fire Emblem games they've played and subsequently dropped halfway through.

Then we talk Game & Watch Gallery, which is like if you had a bunch of Tiger Electronics games but they were actually fun.

As TW nears the end of Disco Elysium, we try to zero in on what makes it so special, while also touching on Advance Wars, Final Fantasy XVI, and the price of T-shirts.

Then we try to talk about Pulseman, but end up talking about Pokemon instead, oops.

It's another Nintendo Direct Episode! We speed through the headlines we care about, talk a little about the headlines that weren't, and discuss a German Zelda coffee mug.

We also played a McDonald's advertisement this week. Grimace's Birthday is a short, browser-based game that will run on a proper Game Boy Color, and is actually pretty decent for a 10-minute romp and purely transparent ad pandering!

Tom and TW's first impressions of our 4-player story playthrough of Dokapon Kingdom Connect, TW has started playing Advance Wars Re-Boot Camp, and Tom has independently invented the concept of the Blue Sentinels faction in Diablo 4 PvP.

Hey all, it's only been a few weeks for you all, but Tom and I haven't recorded an episode in months, so there's lots to talk about! We got Diablo, Octopath, Chained Echoes, Tape to Tape, and pool. Like, just regular billiards.

Also, we're not really talking about it yet, but we've started a Dokapon Kingdom playthrough every Monday on the Twitch channel listed below!

After a week off, Jessi fills in for Tom this week and we talk about our recent trip to Frankfurt, public transportation, the beginning of Dokapon, and of course, comparisons of Dark Souls 2 to Dark Souls 1 after Jessi's first playthrough came to a close.

Conversation number 1 billion about what we hope Nintendo does (and does not) do with their next console starts up this week's episode, followed by a battle of disappointments that leads to us just mercilessly dunking on Spore.

The music in Code Name: Viper is by far the best thing about it. The optimal experience is just to listen to the music and forget the game exists altogether. But it was super fun to laugh about for a bit.

"This action hero is MONEY," the back of the cracked jewel case tells us about Largo Winch, a character from a bygone era where billionaires were considered protagonists and not a reason to bring back guillotines.

This guy owns an oil company, airline, news network, and is opening a chemical plant in Venezuela, and we're supposed to root for him. Luckily, "We Have James Bond at Home" is completely devoid of any charisma or likeable traits, so the fact that his game is a special kind of terrible is fun in its own way!

Shoutouts to T of TKandM for sharing this fun little bit of nonsense with us!

Also, WARNING: INCOMING DOKAPON

Another trip to the local game store, N64 troubleshooting, stories of ad-set at our retail jobs, and the guilty pleasures we have in eating bad food that's still good somehow.

Talking about crappy gas station food seems ESPECIALLY relevant to Wario somehow. Wario Land 3 is weird and quirky and outstanding and distinctly different from just about anything else.

A last-minute substitution on this week's game leads to a great discussion of how we can go back in time and save Yuji Naka from himself. Also, beating up perverts with Mahjong, a short retrospective on Final Fantasy 4, and the best characters in Octopath Traveler 2.

Also, as luck would have it, Kuru Kuru Kururin is also very fun! This was a good week.

Things just kinda work out this week as we play a classic Power Rangers game just as the classic Power Rangers nostalgia movie hits Netflix. Also, this game is BETTER THAN YOU THINK ACTUALLY PLAY IT!

Meanwhile, Tom refers to Final Fantasy 2 as, and I quote, "so good." Discuss.