The Daily RICHual

Yesterday we covered deadlock in a negotiation

So how do we end deadlock without having to walk away from the deal? Every situation is unique, but here are 5 methods to help help construct the way out of deadlock.

There comes a time in many negotiations when progress halts and deadlock ensues.  Several things happen when deadlock occurs and if you know what they are, and what to do about them, success can be the result.

One problem, of course, is when people involved in a negotiation become unmotivated. In a world where buyers want to buy and sellers want to sell, if one doesn’t. THAT can be a big issue.

Technology is moving at a break neck speed. New gadgets, designed to save mankind from the discomforts of life, are developed daily (maybe hourly). Some things, however, remain as they have for years.  

One such example of an old idea that technology has yet to improve, is the common pallet.

I run. I’ve run for 53 ½ years, almost 115,000 miles and often I get asked, what are you running from?

Are you seeking escape or balance. My answer? both.

I love the fact that I have found this activity that not only allows me the opportunity and the challenge of being in touch with myself and my world physically, mentally and spiritually, but also seems to encourage it.  I've stated many times that I do my best thinking; my best work, on the run. And If that is the case, most days on the ten scale, are an eleven.

Holy crap, I make it sound like I’m working on the run, but that is not the case. Clarity is not work.

Yeah, I suppose I'm getting physical benefit from the run as well. Bopping along for an hour or more at an elevated heart rate is good cardiovascular work. And I know that my running has been one of the primary reasons I have avoided much of the sickness and disease many of my chronological mates deal with as we age. But as good as that may be, the physical is not the lure of the run. It's the rest of it.

We spend a ton of our lives in conversations. We talk, we listen. Or do we? How good of a listener are you? AND would it be valuable to get better at it?

According to those in the know, the best listening is called active listening and it is defined as listening with the intent to understand. It, like empathy, is OTHER oriented.

So in the interest of everyone who speaks to you, here are 4 tips to being a better listener.

Yesterday we listed four traits/skills/tips for being a better negotiator. Here’s another – and it’s a BIGGIE: Empathy.

Empathy is our ability to understand how someone else feels, to be able to “walk a mile in their shoes.”

While empathy is all encompassing as a life skill, it’s essential for negotiators.

We negotiate all the time. It’s not just a work thing, it’s a life thing. There are some great resources for being a better negotiator and I’ve listed a few of my favorites in the notes. But for the sake of the moment, here are four of my favorites:

1. Separate the people from the problem

2. Pre-Position everything

3. Understand motivation

4. Be a better listener

Every time I say the words, “happiness is not having what you want, it’s wanting what you have,” most people chuckle and say, “Yeah, sure, right!” Then almost without exception they will say something skeptical or negative.

The problem is that most people think that saying that implies that it’s okay to settle for the way things are, to not have goals, to be stuck.

To me, it simply taking a position of gratitude, being THANKFUL for what you have.

So, here are fve things gratitude does for you....

Two days ago while teaching a technology class to a room full of Realtors, one rolled up when we were finished and said, I really liked your slides. The visuals were great and REALLY anchored the points you were making. 

BOOM. Mission accomplished.  

Anyone doing any kind of a presentation for anybody, MUST understand the power of the visual.  The experts tell us that 83% of effective learning is visual. At 3M they found that a picture is processed 60,000 times faster than a word. 

And, of course, One picture is worth a thousand words said…. Somebody.  

What’s the point? Understand that a sales presentation is also a learning experience for the potential customer. Really? Yep, and the lesson to be learned is to hire me.  

Remember, Bullets don’t kill people, presenters with bullets kill people.

Yesterday we kicked around the difference between sales and branding. Well, one of the great misconceptions about social media is that it’s a sales venue. In the words of Lee Corso, Not so fast my friend.  

While many people sell many things on many social media sites, the core of the phrase social media is this idea of SOCIAL. Social implies getting to know people, creating a relationship. I don’t know about you, but I don’t click on every ad and just buy my way into purchaser’s bliss.   I do, however, spend time getting to know people, try to understand who they are, and maybe, just maybe, how I might be able to help them. Most of us would prefer to buy from someone we know, like, and trust. 

All things that take time. Branding.

We hear a lot about Branding and sales in today entrepreneurial world. What’s the difference? Simple.

Sales is short term, it’s focused on the sale, and it’s me chasing you.

Branding is long term, focused on the relationship, and it’s trying to get you to come to me.

Too often, we think that the key to getting the sale is to sell people. And while there’s a smidgeon of truth to that, in today’s world where a sale can be made in the click of a mouse, I choose to reserve my most important purchases with the people I trust.

Trust takes relationship. Relationship takes time and patience.

I remember my early days of being a real estate agent and balking at the concept that I was in sales. I was a real estate counselor, advisor, consultant. Not a sales person. Everyone hates salespeople. I don’t want to be hated. 

My broker reminded me that I had spent the last 15 years of my life in sales. No, I didn’t I taught 9th graders. HA! He replied. You don’t think you had to sell civics to them everyday of the week?

Today is Martin Luther King day in America. When most people alive in the 60s think of MLK, they think of Civil Rights, peace, protests, progress, and tolerance, among others.  While all of those things are still important 52 years later, I’d like to make a push for tolerance.  Every 4 years two things happen in this country: the Olympics and elections. One I look forward to, the other…. Eh…  

Don't get me wrong, I love voting. I was a civics teacher for crying out loud. What drives me nuts is the complete lack of tolerance most people have towards anyone who has an opinion that differs from theirs. And most of the people in charge have built this system of US vs. THEM to somehow perpetuate intolerance. Doesn’t mean WE have to play, right? 

 One of the things at the core of Intolerance is judgment. Now I can’t control anyone other than me. SO, my goal then is to increase my tolerance by getting OUT of judgment and into curiosity. How about you?