Roleplay Retcon

Let's wind down and talk about the good and the bad of The Adventures of Pluto Nash, both the original movie and our version. We also cast our characters and reveal our next movie remakes!

Leroy struggles to save the refugees from the Dark Side after crash-landing their getaway ship. Meanwhile, Pluto and Tracy make a plan to hijack the Corpos' concert and expose their conspiracy against Graceland. Content warnings: Violence, profanity

Zoom Baby's secret identity sends Pluto into a fit, plus he receives an offer he can't refuse. Meanwhile, Leroy continues his liberation of the Dark Side with a little inspiration from his new friend Tracy.

Content warnings: Violence, death, profanity, sexual content

Traitors reveal themselves and tear down Pluto and Tracy's plans for a concert at NashVegas. Leroy awakens in a strange and terrifying place far away from Graceland.

Content warnings: Violence, profanity

Pluto does his best to patch Tracy up before they return to Baskins to warn her about what they just survived and to see if they can recruit help for their Rebellion Concert. Meanwhile, Leroy meets a little prick at NashVegas.

Content warnings: Violence, profanity

A mysterious paramilitary force seems hell-bent on rounding up the mutants in Slimothy Jimothy's. Tracy starts a revolution. Leroy tries a new poultry dish. Pluto shows off his ride. Content warnings: Violence

Pluto, Leroy, and Tracy break into Loss Prevention squad leader Jo Malone's apartment, where things take a turn none of them could have imagined.

Content warnings: Violence

Mr. B learns a few things at claw-point about the suits that busted up Nashvegas, but not as much as Nash would like. Tracy joins the pair in their quest for answers as they turn to fellow entrepreneur Baskins of Baskins Trashbins, known for their generous portions of fries. Nash won't like the answers here, either.

Content warnings: Violence

Life is hard in Graceland, a city-state on the moon with no official laws. Nashvegas, Pluto Nash's combination live music venue/bowling alley/casino/bar and grill, makes life a little easier. Nash and his bouncer, the spectacular mutant cat-man Leroy "Mr. B" Brown, are living the good life until Tracy, the ex-love of Nash's life, walks through Nashvegas's front door.

Content warnings: Gun violence

Senior employee space case Stew, new hire and lifelong nerd Dash Starkiller, and the sensitive part timer Rose are all looking for the store's cat, which is missing on the most important day of the year, the day a minor celebrity comes to Empire Records and boosts their sales. That celebrity is Denise Leary, a formerly famous singer songwriter who got caught up in a plagiarism scandal years ago. The missing cat isn't the only disaster; Dash has broken a faucet that threatens to flood the store, and the uptight GLAG organization is putting pressure on the community to boycott Empire Records.

We play the game we were born to play: Damn the Man, Save the Music by Hannah Shaffer, a game based on notorious flop Empire Records (1995). Sorry if you're one of the cult fans of this movie, but hopefully you'll like this one, too! We're joined by one of our favorite musicians, Pete Mitchell of No More Kings!

In the finale of our remake of Steven King's Maximum Overdrive (1986), Nickels reveals a devastating secret, Jeremy reveals an unbelievable secret, and Matthew reveals he played a cartoon lion in a movie.

Content warnings: Descriptions of death and gore, sexual content

Hey, I think these machines are trying to kill us! In episode 2 of our remake of Steven King's Maximum Overdrive (1986), Nickels finds some long-lost family (maybe), Matthew reveals his scandalous profession, Jeremy's hips tell the truth, and Ben is right about what kind of vehicle the Ghostbusters car is, which is not important to the story, but I write these teasers and I wanted people to know.

Content warnings: Descriptions of death and gore, sexual content

For Spooky Month, we're remaking Steven King's Maximum Overdrive (1986), a movie so bad even King disowns it! And he directed it! Persephone Valentine, a.k.a. Persephiroth, of Dimension 20 and Um, Actually fame is joining us as we play Grant Howitt's "We That Remain," a game about revealing secrets while holing up and surviving "Them."

Content warnings: Descriptions of death and gore, sexual content

In the finale of our remake of Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever (2002), The eponymous characters grow closer, only for a rift to form between them when the terrifying reality of the mysterious orb reveals itself. There is also a lot of nervous giggling.

Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever (2002) is infamous for being the worst reviewed movie in Rotten Tomatoes history. Pretty much anything would improve it, but we're going to focus on adding some romantic tension! Jensie teams up with master game designer Alex Roberts to play her game Star Crossed, which is about people who want to kiss, but shouldn't because it would be disasterous, forbidden, or a real career killer. This is very hot.

The end of this MillerFrankin' movie! The Spirit solves the case, all on his own, with no help from anyone while Sand Serif searches for her McGuffin, and Dr. Cobra makes an important scientific discovery that nobody cares about.

Content warnings: gun violence, sexual content, mental illness.

The badge found on Sand Saref's traitorous henchman leads The Spirit to the hospital wing of the Splooge, Central City's district-spanning waterpark. Meanwhile, Dr. Cobra confronts fellow villain Thurgood Cornwallis about his nefarious dulling devices, and Sand dance battles her way to buried treasure.

Content warnings: knife violence, sexual content, mentions of death.

We're remaking Frank Miller's cinematic take on Will Eisner's The Spirit, which got buried by critics and lost tens of millions of dollars at the box office. The Spirit's nemesis, The Octopus, is believed to be dead, and The Spirit wants to know if it's true and if it is, who did it and how. Meanwhile, The Spirit's number 2 baddie, Dr. Cobra, is conducting his own investigation (in a somber, but gorgeous Maxi gown) to make sure he isn't next on the killer's list. The dulcet-voiced Sand Serif comes calling on her old friend The Spirit, hoping to get his help in tracking down a mysterious item in The Octopus's possession...

Content warnings: Gun violence, death, sex.

We're remaking Frank Miller's cinematic take on Will Eisner's The Spirit, which got buried by critics and lost tens of millions of dollars at the box office. But like the eponymous character, it rises from its grave in Wildwood Cemetery with new purpose! In this episode, we create our version of Central City using the worldbuilding and character creation phase of Noirlandia, a storytelling game about making weird and wild noir stories.

Just a warning: This one is much more Adults Goofing Off than usual. It gets rowdy. Content warnings: Violence, death, sex.

It's time to throw our own masquerade ball with dragon costumes and tapas. How did we do? Did we do this story justice, or did we fall short like every movie adaptation of Phantom of the Opera has? We also talk about Kids on Bikes and say a sad goodbye to Remick.

Raoul, Meg, and Daroga descend into the guts of the Opera Garnier to rescue Christine, who faces a terrifying ultimatum from Erik. |

It's chaos in the Opera Garnier-- Christine, Daroga, and Raoul must fight a stampede of panicking patrons to stay together. But the phantom thrives on distraction and chaos, and Christine wonders if her angel of music is so angelic after all...

Daroga finally talks about himself. Christine makes a new friend(?). Raoul is not safe with guns.

Opera Garnier's new managers are hoping the annual Masquerade will combat the bad vibes from all the recent disasters. Christine encounters the cutting edge of the service industry. Raoul heckles a diva. Daroga takes a nap. |

The dust has barely settled from the terrifying chandelier incident. Daroga is determined to make the Phantom answer for it. Meanwhile, Raoul and Christine escape to the safety of the Chagny estate, where they do whatever people who are catching feelings do. Raoul conjures an illusory peacock. Christine does not know how to make the horses go. Daroga channels Gaming Icons. |

Hey, guess what. Someone dies in this episode.

Christine tames a dragon or two. Raoul takes flight. Daroga's in charge.

Daroga finds himself in the very extra clutches of the Phantom, and his only hope for escape may be his personal Hell-- talking it out. Meanwhile, Raoul has a good news/bad news kind of day when he finds the perfect outfit in the labyrinthine hallways of the Opera Garnier... only to have his heart broken again. Christine tries to be a theatre kid again. Raoul gets a smaug look on his face. Daroga warms up.

Things are getting weird at the Opera Garnier; "Daroga" explores the bizarre underground lake while Raoul and Christine make some tough decisions about their futures. Christine puts a blinger on her finger. Raoul learns the language of the most majestic beast on the Earth. Daroga makes a house call. |

How about a date? Christine breaks a promise. Raoul decides on a reasonable number of horse-drawn chariots. The Patron makes contact.

Look, frankly, not a lot happens this episode until this one thing, and the one thing is A LOT. Raoul treats himself to a spa day. The Patron does some grilling. Christine discovers something tragic or happy, depending on who you ask.

If you play a TTRPG with Jensie, you will end up roleplaying a fancy dinner party 100 percent of the time. Christine isn't here, man. Raoul is vexed by this closet. The Patron is... vexed by the same closet.

Christine belts a practically divine solo, only to be pummeled by her newly-adoring public. Raoul to the rescue! Meanwhile, the mysterious Box 6 Patron uses the commotion as cover to look for clues in Box 5...

Hey, we're featuring a few episodes of Tales from the Cryptid on Roleplay Retcon's feed, hosted by investigative journalist Gaston Leroux (who sounds a lot like Jensie, haha what a kooky coincidence). Leroux has proof of what happened at the Opera Garnier in Paris in 1992, and the real story is wilder than anything you think you know about it.

Frankly, there hasn't been a good film adaptation Gaston Leroux's early 20th century novel Le Fantôme de l'Opéra, a.k.a. The Phantom of the Opera. Andrew Lloyd Weber's musical is good, but it's also a far walk from the original book, which is an absolute banger and hilarious to boot (and the 2004 Joel Schumacher movie was panned by both critics and Phantom fans alike). So, Jensie has decided we're not remaking just one movie, but all of them!

That's not the only wild choice we've made: We'll be telling our story using the TTRPG Kids on Bikes, except with no kids and no bikes, just to prove how flexible this game actually is. In this episode we'll go over Kids on Bikes and introduce our characters: Special Guest Remick from Tales From the Forgotten Troupe plays the up-and-coming Opera Diva Christine Daaé, Alex is the well-mannered and romantic Viscount Raoul de Chagny and Ben is... someone we don't know much about, yet. |

There's something wrong with Abraham Lincoln, and the toys must rally the rest of their army to liberate the charging station before they power down forever. They're hoping to do so without plastic-shed, but this is war, after all...

Jess from Wannabe Games made a one-page RPG for us to remake the 1998 film Small Soldiers with*! Deitysaurus Flex, My Little Kitty, and Serpentina (a.k.a. Battle Princess Gorgana) are a new kind of "smart toy" that can "play back." But when the kids got to bed and it's time for them to get to their recharging and repair station, they find one of the toys has seized control of the vital resource and is willing to start a war over it.

*Four years ago...

We made 100 episodes of Roleplay Retcon! Whoa! To celebrate, we performed a live Retcon in our Discord server of Disney's The Country Bears, a doomed attempt to repeat the success of Pirates of the Caribbean by making another movie based on a Disney park attraction. We play Honey Heist by Grant Howitt and attempt to form the greatest (non-human) country music band of all time. 

Take a seat next to the fire in our 12,000-square-foot drawing room. Gold-plated cigar? Kobe brandy? There, now that you're settled, let's talk honestly about Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets and how Roleplay Retcon's version stacks up against it. We'll while away the evening with some fan-casting, some audience submissions for how they would have turned a movie dud to movie stud, and announce what's coming up next!

The mystery of Planet Tennessee and the Astrazoans is solved. All that's left is to survive to tell the story.

Valerian gets a promotion. Laureline loud quits. Bubble gets the point.

Bob gets all "Transylvanian villager" on us and will only take the trio near the mysterious Sector L-630-E, where none dare tread. Valerian uses the boost to get through. Bubble introduces herself. Laureline is French, in case you didn't know.

The hunt is on for the cortex jellyfish, a mysterious creature that can pinpoint the location of Dolly with Bubble's memories. To find it, they'll need the help of Bob, the seasoned and spicy submarine captain. Valerian drives/pilots/swims...? a new vehicle. Laureline has a fan. Bubble takes a ride into her sub-conscious (get it?).

The trio dash after Mao's captors, hoping their messy business with Igon hasn't put them too far behind. Valerian makes a jaw-dropping discovery that changes the entire investigation. Laureline becomes an art broker instead of an art breaker. Bubble wastes away in Planet Margaritaville.

Igon Siruss has returned for Bubble, but Valerian and Laureline are on the clock and won't let him have his way. Valerian masters his blaster. Laureline makes it raaaaiiiin, baby. Bubble turns to love in a hopeless place.

The investigation continues into Point Central's red light district. Nobody asked what a red light district would be like on an alien space colony, but we answered the question extensively. Bubble aces a job interview. Laureline catches the red eye. Valerian is sorry, you seem nice, but he kindof hates your face.

An attack on the Council of Many sends the squad on a new investigation. Bubble gets slimed. Valerian wears an entirely new kind of pants. Laureline gives the greatest speech never heard.

We burn our first "All Words are Made Up" charge! Only two left! Valerian gets a little upsetty spaghetti. Laureline studies vexillology. Bubble plays it safe.