The Rough Puffs
By Kim Fu and andrea bennett
The Rough PuffsSep 30, 2022
S8E5: That's the Kind of Thing You Inseminate Cows With
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 8 Episode 5, which features a school pudding signature, a molten chocolate pudding technical challenge, and a trifle terrine showstopper. The custard for Kate’s “Mr Darcy's Steamy Lake Scene' Steamed School Pudding is “embarrassing,” Julia is baffled by British puddings, and Yan reveals her modus operandi: “if you’re going to serve a cake, send it phallic.” andrea’s first bajillion attempts at trifle terrine fail miserably, but they prevail.
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S8E4: Taking Caramel of Business
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 8 Episode 4, which features a millionaire’s shortbread signature, a stroopwafel technical challenge, and a sugarwork-y caramel cake showstopper. Liam makes a Tetris-themed salted caramel peanut butter millionaire’s shortbread, somehow no one in the tent has gotten stoned and eaten stroopwafels in the Netherlands, and Yan bakes an entire jungle around a river of caramel. andrea goes their own way with a mystery bake this week.
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S8E3: Do You Flour Your Finger?
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 8 Episode 3, which features a teacake (the bread roll-ish kind!) signature, a cottage loaf technical challenge, and a multicoloured bread sculpture showstopper. Tempting the bread gods, Flo says she is unworried about this week. Not everyone fingers their cottage loaves properly, and Julia creates a very evocative-looking snail. andrea attempts the showstopper, baking a bunch of beets.
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S8E2: Bakes and Ladders
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 8 Episode 2, which features a sandwich cookie signature, a fortune cookie technical challenge, and a biscuit board game showstopper. Chris puts chia seeds in his cookies, Sophie’s lemoncino and yuzu biscuits win over the judges, and andrea and Kim need to figure out how to set aside their biases against overly gimmicky showstoppers. andrea bakes a cardamom icebox cookie sandwich with strawberry rhubarb ginger jam using produce from their allotment—sorry, garden.
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S8E1: Tasted Like a Clown's Nose
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 8 Episode 1, Cake Week, which features new hosts and a new judge. The bakers tackle a fresh fruit challenge, a chocolate mini roll technical challenge, and an illusion cake showstopper. James makes a raw rhubarb mud cake, Peter puts five teaspoons of baking powder into his cake (!!) and Yan’s illusion cake applies science to make an amazing ramen bowl. andrea bakes two strawberry cakes, one modern and one traditional, to visually serve up to Kim.
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Palate Cleanser: Is It Cake? S1E2
To take a break before watching season 8 of Great British Bake Off, Kim and andrea recap a show they did not expect to enjoy as much as they did — Is It Cake? Season 1, Episode 2, “Phony Fashion.” The bakers get eight hours to bake a hyper-realistic shoe, clutch, and bucket hat. Too much fondant features. Kim eats Samyang fire chicken ramen because andrea cannot.
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S5E10: The Finale! With Special Guest Emily Davidson
Kim and andrea—and Emily!—recap Great British Bake Off Series 5 Episode 10, the Finale, which features a viennoiserie signature, a set of mini classic British bakes technical challenge, and a pièce montée showstopper. Nancy and Richard somehow both end up making windmills for their pièce montée, and a show favourite chooses the worst possible timing to have an off weekend.
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S5E9: I Think I Probably Am Alright at Baking
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 5 Episode 9, Pâtisserie, which features a baklava signature, a Schichttorte technical challenge, and an entremet showstopper. Richard makes mouth-watering baklava, Luis’s Schichttorte hits the spot, and Mary calls Chetna’s entremets “bulbous.” andrea attempts something they never thought they’d try: gluten-free phyllo dough.
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S5E8: The Microwave Is the Only Way Forward
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 5 Episode 8, Advanced Dough, which features an enriched fruit loaf signature, a Povitica technical challenge, and a doughnut showstopper. Luis makes a black forest cherry tree with brandy-soaked sugar cubes, Chetna gets a leg up in the technical challenge, and neither Kim nor andrea can pronounce “maraschino cherries.” andrea attempts Boston cream doughnuts!
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S5E7: Eclairway to Heaven
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 5 Episode 7, which features a savoury parcels signature, a Kouign Amann technical challenge, and an eclair showstopper. Chetna and Luis make amazing-looking parcels, Kim thinks this technical was rude and pointless, and Richard somehow nails lavender and rose flavouring in his eclairs. andrea oven-bakes their gluten-free samosas instead of setting fire to their house and restarting a new life elsewhere (they also bake pistachio chocolate eclairs).
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S5E6: Life’s a Piece of… Kugelhopf? Guglhupf?
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 5 Episode 6, which features a yeasted cake signature, a Prinsesstårta technical challenge, and a Dobos torte showstopper. Kate likes the constructive criticism she receives on her Babka-influenced yeasted cake, Nancy’s cake looks like a themed holiday party from the ’70s, and Chetna gets inventive with caramel and grapes. andrea uses their brand-new bundt pan to bake a boozy Paul Hollywood orange savarin.
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S5E5: Raised by Hand with Fat Bottoms
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 5 Episode 5, which features a custard pie signature, a poached pear technical challenge, and self-supported three-tier pie showstopper. Richard’s pear looks like it accidentally lost its bandage dress after a night of hard partying, Martha cries about her pie, and Nancy’s custard design looks like a collab with a Brazilian street artist. andrea attempts a mango curd tart made purrfect with cat head-shaped fruit pieces.
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S5E4: The Baked Alaskas Face Climate Change
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 5 Episode 3, which features a self-saucing pudding signature, a tiramisu technical challenge, and a baked Alaska showstopper. In what is perhaps Bake Off’s most infamous episode… many normal things happen, including Martha nailing the technical challenge. But it’s also the season’s hottest day in the tent, and some meltdowns occur. andrea attempts Richard’s tiramisu baked Alaska — including both coffee and Kahlua, it’s the perfect dessert for children!*
*It is not the the perfect dessert for children.
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S5E3: Essence of a Thousand Student Socks
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 5 Episode 3, which features a rye bread roll signature, a ciabatta technical challenge, and a filled loaf showstopper. Jordan’s cheesecake brioche turns to mush, Chetna’s onion and pine nut buns are delicious but flat, and Martha’s filled loaf opens to reveal a smelly fondue à l’Epoisses. andrea bakes a relatively successful caramelized onion, chard and gruyere stromboli, and a bonus pizza stromboli that gets a little too excitable in the oven.
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S5E2: A Biscuit Iron Maiden
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 5 Episode 2, which features a savoury biscuit signature, a florentine technical challenge, and a 3D biscuit scene showstopper. Norman’s wife will need to eat her words (and Norman’s biscuits), Enwezor stamps out his Florentines (gasp!), and Kate has a clever technique for her tea time scene. andrea gluten-frees a spoof of Lesley Stowe’s Raincoast Crisps.
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S5E1: I Don’t Know Why I’m Crying Over Cake
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 5 Episode 1, which features 12 oven-fresh bakers tackling a swiss roll signature, a classic cherry cake technical challenge, and a showstopper featuring 36 miniature British cakes. Ian’s swiss roll scoring technique falls flat, Jordan’s cherries disappear, and Martha makes some gorgeous lemon and thyme drizzle cakes with mascarpone cream. andrea attempts Nancy’s swiss roll and needs to make a last-minute substitution after a minor disaster.
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Palate Cleanser: Nailed It! S6E2
To take a break between watching seasons 4 and 5 of Great British Bake Off, Kim and andrea recap what is perhaps the opposite of GBBO — Nailed It, Season 6 Episode 2, “Paranormal Pastries.” Jack McBrayer (of 30 Rock fame) guest stars, and… appears to not know how to crack an egg. Things go downhill from there! Kim taste-tests milkshake IPAs and sour beers for andrea, who can't drink them because they contain gluten, and Kim and andrea steadfastly do not dream of tasting anything baked or decorated on Nailed It.
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S4E10: The Finale! With Special Guest Danielle Mohlman
Kim and andrea—and Danielle!—recap Great British Bake Off Series 4 Episode 10, the Finale, which features a picnic pie signature, a pretzel technical challenge, and three-tiered wedding cake showstopper. Kimberley’s meaty picnic pie falls apart, Ruby feels like she’s on the verge of a baking abyss, and Frances makes a Midsummer Night’s Dream Wedding Cake to rival Stanley Tucci’s Puck.
Find Danielle on Twitter or Instagram as @DanielleMohlman, or on DanielleMohlman.com!
Follow us on Twitter at @roughpuffs!
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S4E9: The Charlotte Royale Looks Like Brains, It’s Fine
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 4 Episode 9, French week, which features a canapé signature, a Charlotte Royale technical challenge, and an Opera Cake showstopper. Francis finds the courage to make vegetable-shaped bakes again, Kimberley nails the weird-ass technical, and Beca's Banoffee tastes like a "gravelly banana." andrea makes a gluten-free version of choux buns with goat cheese and balsamic onions.
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S4E8: Andrea's Time to Shine
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 4 Episode 8, alternative ingredients week, which features a wheat-free loaf signature, a hazelnut dacquoise technical challenge, and a dairy-free vegetable cake showstopper. Francis nukes some chocolate and Ruby’s technical looks better than Mary Berry’s. The judges are super harsh this week! andrea first bakes a free-form Nutella brioche, then bakes a slow-roasted tomato and kale pesto brioche in a nine-inch cake pan, to test out a theory.
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S4E7: A Hint of Goat
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 4 Episode 7, pastry week, which features a suet pudding signature, a religieuses technical challenge, and a puff pastry canapé showstopper. Glenn’s reverse puff pastry doesn’t go over well, Kimberley brings a whole plant to the showstopper, and Christine helpfully describes Eccles cakes as “fly pies.” andrea tries for a punny bake: Arnold Palmiers, palmier cookies with lemon-tea filling.
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S4E6: Schnecken Buns Beckon
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 4 Episode 6, sweet dough week, which features a tea loaf signature, an apricot couronne technical challenge, and a European buns showstopper. Beca makes Bara Brith, Ruby makes some delicious-looking saffron buns while being roasted for her self-talk, Howard’s gorgeous peach buns are sadly lacking in flavour. andrea tries their hand at the technical but runs into some yeast-related troubles.
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S4E5: Kim Talks About Gas Station Pastries Again
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 4 Episode 5, biscuit and traybake week, which features a traybake signature, a tuiles technical challenge, and a biscuit tower showstopper. Kimberley learns something about tuiles, Howard rehydrates banana chips, and Becaron begins to emerge. andrea finally satisfies their curiosity about millionaire’s shortbread.
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S4E4: Upper Crusts and Soggy Bottoms
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 4 Episode 4, pie and tart week, which features a double-crusted fruit pie signature, an egg custard technical challenge, and a filo pie showstopper. Beca says normies do not care about soggy bottoms, everybody puts apple in their pies, and Kim would choose pie over cake?!? andrea bakes an adequate gluten-free cherry pie with a slightly unique à la mode twist.
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S4E3: Dessert Island
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 4 Episode 3, dessert week, which features a trifle signature, an îles flottantes technical challenge, and a petit fours showstopper. A barge could get lost in Glenn’s generously sized trifle, Christine wows the judges with her ninety-niners, and Ruby has the correct opinion about meringue poached in milk. andrea curses Christine as they attempt her sachertorte parcels (with a small ginger twist).
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S4E2: Kimberley Attempts Political Reunification Via Bread
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 4 Episode 2, bread week, which features a breadstick signature, an English muffin technical challenge, and decorative loaf showstopper. Frances’s matchstick breadsticks don’t light up the judges, Christine makes a traditional (and gorgeous) double plaited loaf, and Kimberley’s “Peace Bread” brings together Israel and Palestine in an apparently tasty loaf. andrea makes a very indulgent pizza bread that their partner says reminds them of Boston Pizza.
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S4E1: Toby is Not Too Salty About It
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 4 Episode 1, cake week, which features a sandwich cake signature, a angel food cake technical challenge, and a highly decorated chocolate cake showstopper. Thirteen bakers are in the tent this year! Howard crafts an impressive silver bear, Mark is confused about what “upside down” means, and Kimberly’s blood orange cake “tastes a lot better than it looks.”
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Palate Cleanser: Grand Designs S18
Between watching seasons 3 and 4 of Great British Bake Off, Kim and andrea take a wee break to visit a house in Herefordshire with Grand Designs (series 18). Ed and Rowena Waghorn are taking their time to live slowly and build a beautiful, handcrafted home made mostly from materials found in their area. They live off the land: chickens for eggs, goats for milk, pigs for ba—king cookies, serving the little piggies cookies, they must like cookies, right?
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S3E10: The Finale! With Special Guest Niko Stratis
Kim and andrea—and Niko—recap Great British Bake Off Series 3 Episode 10, the finale, which features a pithivier signature, a fondant fancies technical challenge, and a chiffon cake showstopper. Brendan gets surprisingly emotional, James attempts to reunite the UK in cake form, and John does so well that even his family has to be proud of him.
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Follow Niko on Twitter @NikoStratis!
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S3E9: Brendan's Cygnets, Danny's Swan Song
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 3 Episode 9, which features a petit-fours signature, a fraisier cake technical challenge, and a choux gateau showstopper. James puts a whole new spin on the Paris–Brest, and Brendan creates the tastiest swans ever to flap into the tent. andrea gets their first caramel burns of the series, but it’s for a very good cause.
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To make the Paris-Brest, follow Bruno Albouz's recipe (using a 1:1 gluten-free flour mix to make them gluten-free).
S3E8: Risky Biscuits
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 3 Episode 8, which features a 48-cracker signature, a tea cake technical challenge, and a gingerbread structure showstopper. Brendan tastes marshmallow for the first time (and paints eyelashes on a bird!), and one of our fave contestants gets sent home. andrea orders fancy chocolate off the internet and attempts a gluten-free adaptation of Paul's teacake recipe.
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To make the tea cakes, follow Paul Hollywood's recipe (using a 1:1 gluten-free flour mix to make them gluten-free).
S3E7: Get that Sweet, Sweet Dough
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 3 Episode 7, which features a sweet bun signature, a jam doughnut technical challenge, and a celebratory loaf showstopper. Ryan’s "lardy cakes" are somehow the most delicious bun, this isn’t James’s first doughnut, and two—two!!—bakers are sent home. andrea notices the bundt pan celebratory loaves look the most celebratory, and makes a fudge and caramel tear 'n' share brioche in a bundt pan at home.
Bake along with andrea's gluten-free recipe here.
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S3E6: Cathryn Can't Serve Mary Berry Bits of Green Carpet
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 3 Episode 6, which features a two-pudding signature, a Queen of Puddings technical challenge, and a strudel showstopper. John crosses the food processor and lives to tell the tale, James’s strudel is as moist as a Canadian band from the ’90s, and Danny’s delicious-looking showstopper features leek, potato, pistachio and gruyère. Join andrea as they make sticky toffee pudding and try to convince Kim that even though it seems like a fancy bran muffin in sauce, it’s actually quite tasty!
Our Twitter followers decided on this bake. Vote in the next poll @roughpuffs!
Or follow us on our prettier, less democratic Instagram @theroughpuffs.
S3E5: Hot Hands John
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 3 Episode 5, which features a wellington signature; a bacon, chicken and apricot hand-raised pie technical challenge; a historical segment on eel pie; and an American pie showstopper. John uses his warm hands to fashion antlers out of pastry, and Ryan puts candied ginger in his mouth-wateringly good-looking key lime pie. Join andrea as they make their "beef" (vegetarian) "wellington" (gluten-free).
andrea's wellington recipe can be found here.
For more veggie gf treats, follow @theroughpuffs on Instagram!
Skeptical meat-and-wheat eaters can rant @roughpuffs on Twitter.
S3E4: Kim Would Still Eat It
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 3 Episode 4, which features a torte cake signature bake, a crème caramel technical challenge, and a four-layer meringue showstopper. Manisha bakes chocolate-rich things for her own enjoyment, rather than her family's, and James’s “exotic fruit salad” meringue divides the judges (and us). Also: join andrea as they follow Mary Berry’s recipe to make crème caramel for the first time.
Visit us on Twitter @roughpuffs to see andrea turn out their first crème caramel.
Follow @theroughpuffs on Instagram if that is your preferred custard delivery method.
S3E3: Victoria Puts Pepper in Everything
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 3 Episode 3, which features a tarte tatin signature bake, the most boring technical challenge known to man, and a designer fruit tart showstopper. Danny pairs pear with Roquefort—yum—and John's showstopper glistens like a box of jewels. Inspired by James, andrea makes a grapefruit curd tart with an almondy shortcrust base and vanilla mascarpone cream, topped with grapefruit macarons and roasted almonds.
Find us @roughpuffs on Twitter to compliment andrea on their grapefruit curd tarte.
Send more compliments to our Instagram @theroughpuffs.
S3E2: James Wins Friends with Sourdough
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 3 Episode 2, which features a flatbread signature bake, an eight-stranded plaited loaf technical challenge, and a sweet and savoury bagel showstopper. The tomato cake man persists; Kim worries about Victoria’s nerves. andrea attempts to do an eight-stranded plait with gluten-free challah dough and it goes as well as you’d expect.
Visit us on Twitter @roughpuffs to see the Giuseppe Arcimboldo-lookin' bread.
Or see it on our Instagram @theroughpuffs in a square format!
S3E1: Natasha Boils the Babas
Kim and andrea recap Great British Bake Off Series 3 Episode 1, which features an upside down cake signature bake, a rum baba technical challenge, and a hidden design cake showstopper. There are two too many Union Jacks and the wrong person goes home! Also: join andrea as they make a Baked Alaska for the first time.
Visit us on Twitter @roughpuffs to see the Baked Alaska and vote on what herbs andrea should use in their gluten-free vegetarian Wellington (yes we know that sounds ridiculous).
Follow us on Instagram @theroughpuffs if that is your preferred Baked Alaska delivery method.