Perspective Detective
By Sabrina de Jong
Teaching true principles and concepts that have shifted my life and perspective into more self-empowerment and outcome focused.
Perspective DetectiveApr 10, 2024
77. Brain Science and Temple Worship
Of course God, in his infinite wisdom, would give us the tools on earth to create or seek the best environment to heal, find peace, receive revelation and feel close to him.
In this episode I give my opinion/perspective on how temple worship and brain health are connected.
Find me on Instagram at SabrinaPerspectiveDetective
76. Joy and Inspiration
75. My Church Talk on Jesus Christ
I gave a talk in church last week, and several friends asked me to share it with them, so I've recorded it for public listen. My topic felt applicable to other things I say within this platform.
I reference episode 49 The Fruits of Gratitude
74. Processing the feeling of Jealousy
Feeling jealous is a normal human emotion, and it can be painful and an obstacle to feeling joyful and free. In this episode I'll give you an option to processing that feeling and move on feeling better and more loving.
Find me on Instagram @SabrinaPerspectiveDetective
73. Living after a manner of happiness
There is actually a formula for living a life of happiness. Nephi teaches it to us in the Book of Mormon, chapter 5.
Listen to episode 32 on Belonging (apple link)
Find me on Instagram @SabrinaPerspectiveDetective
72. Befriending Our Inner Bully
We all have an inner bully inside our brain. It's insecure and scared and ironically, also trying to keep us safe.
The Book of Mormon - 1 Nephi, if you haven't read it, start here.
The Drama Triangle Episode 64 - apple link
The Drama Triangle Episode 64- Spotify Link
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71. Get what you're looking for
sabrinadejong.com
70. A discussion on Housework with Becky Smith
This is a book club discussion from an essay in Kate Holbrook's book "Both Things are True". (fabulous book, highly recommend!)
Becky's podcast Resentment Free Relationships can be found here
69. Differentiating Spiritual Language, with Jhill Seraphina
There are so many ways to feel the spirit, so many ways God will talk to you. Sometimes we don't recognize it because it becomes so common to us. Jhill opens up a whole new language for feeling the spirit, maybe some will resonate with you.
I LOVED this talk by Elder Bednar, if you like this topic, definitely check it out! Is it the Holy Ghost, or is it me?
68. The Closet Mystic, with Brooke Snow
This is actually a terrible title for this episode because we talk about so much more! But we do first discuss Brooke's comment about being a closet "Mystic." Today we'll chat about seeing God in all things, and how being truly authentic is the key to really living a joyful life.
You can listen Brooke's old podcast The Brooke Snow podcast
Check out the co-create app if you're interested in meditations and courses by Brooke.
Schedule a coaching call with me
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67. Creating in Color with Jhill Seraphina
What do Chakras and the Law of Creation have in common? Everything.
Amazing Resonance Experiment! Youtube video of sound waves
Brooke Snow goes into details about each element of the Law of Creation starting Here. (or look for LOC in the title)
If you're interested in coaching with me, schedule a time HERE
Or if you want to hear more about Marco Polo coaching click This link.
Connect with me on Instagram @SabrinaPerspectiveDetective
Connect with Jhill @Vibes.of.light
Bonus: Seeing God's Family Through the Overview Lens, with Becky Smith
Bonus episode, this recording was done for the Becoming Spiritually Minded podcast (conference discussions), but it fits so well with the theme of Perspective Detective I wanted to add it in here today.
65. The Law of Creation with Darla Trendler
See, Say, Feel, Do, Become - Intentionally. That is how you create and live as a creator.
Darla and I give a few examples of what this looks like with both big and little things.
You can listen to Darla's podcast Spiritually Minded here
Brooke Snow goes into details about each element of the Law of Creation starting Here. (or look for LOC in the title)
If you're interested in coaching with me, schedule a time HERE
Or if you want to hear more about Marco Polo coaching click This link.
Connect with me on Instagram @SabrinaPerspectiveDetective
64. The Drama Triangle, Victim to Creator
The drama triangle or victim thinking comes natural to all of us. When we can diagnose the problem, then we can take steps to creating a solution.
Find me on instagram at SabrinaPerspectiveDetective
If you're interested in coaching, you can Schedule a call with me HERE
63. Inconsistent.Duality.Seasons.All.The.Things.
This is a messy one because my brain is sometimes messy, but nevertheless, I felt like I needed to share my thoughts today.
PLEASE, if there is anything that I mention, that you would like me to elaborate on, send me a message on IG or wherever you are connected with me, I would love to talk about the things that you want to learn about.
Find me on instagram at SabrinaPerspectiveDetective
If you're interested in coaching, you can Schedule a call with me HERE
62. Using Perspective to Gain Poise
If you're poised you are in full control of your faculties, thoughts, actions, emotions reactions. You're balanced, grounded, and ready for action. A poised person exhibits composure and self-assuredness.
Focusing on WHO you are.
WHO do you want to be?
What is your mission?
Poise comes from choosing to trust that there is a great plan of happiness, and our great and loving creator is in charge.
April 2023, Christlike Poise by Mark A. Bragg
Details for Marco Polo Coaching HERE
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Schedule a free call with me HERE
61. Enabler (N.O.C.)
Is Enabler a term that describes a negative or damaging characteristic? Or is it a Name of Christ?
Details for Marco Polo Coaching HERE
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Schedule a free call with me HERE
60. Increasing Capacity
Sometimes life feels too hard, but what if the overwhelm and the stuff that feels too hard now is just helping you to grow and increase your capacity for the something better that is coming?
But this is what happens to us. We are given what feels like too much. And We do the something that’s hard. And we grow in capacity
Details for Marco Polo Coaching HERE
Find me on instagram at SabrinaPerspectiveDetective
Schedule a free call with me HERE
59. The Good Shepherd (N.O.C.)
Meditation starts at min 8:57
A Good Shepherd provides nourishment for the sheep. They make sure their sheep get rest. The Shepherd leads to safety and guards them as they rest. The Shepherd guides the sheep to green pastures.
The Good Shepherd is intimately involved with the flock, and knows them each individually.
Attributes:
compassionate
loving
aware
uplifting
nourishing
leader
Details for Marco Polo Coaching HERE
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Schedule a free call with me HERE
58. Floor Goals make it possible
Humans love to make and reach goals. We're literally born to grow and progress. This podcast teaches a tool that makes goal achievement possible with a small do-able step.
Details for Marco Polo Coaching HERE
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Schedule a free call with me HERE
Alma 37:6 Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.
57. Everything you need to know about boundaries
This podcast is taken from an interview with Becky Smith that was originally aired on her podcast How To Be Happy With Yourself
We tell you all about what a boundary is, what it is not, how to create a boundary and how God is really great at boundaries. Good and loving boundaries is a Christ-like attribute.
Find me on instagram at SabrinaPerspectiveDetective
Schedule a free call with me HERE
56. It's not about you
The secret to why you feel the way you do and how to feel better.
Look for how you're putting PERSONAL meaning on outside data.
Wanna feel better about things that bug/frustrate/annoy you? Stop making it about you.
Click HERE for the women's retreat details
If you want some coaching help, Click HERE to book a call with me.
I can also be found on Instagram at SabrinaPerspectiveDetective
55. When Judgement is Keeping You Stuck
A persective on judgement that will hopefully help you break up with it more often and feel more joy and freedom!
I use teachings of Jesus + life coaching tools to help you apply a better way to see clearly and become more of who you may want to be.
Lynn G Robbins talk - The Righteous Judge
And soon I will post my link to Brooke Snow's creation coach certification program, as soon as I get the link.
Follow me on Instagram -SabrinaPerspectiveDetective
Book a free coaching call here
54. Finding Strength in Weakness
Have you ever had enough humility to turn your weaknesses into strengths? It's possible. But I have found it's even more effective to find strengths through humbly looking at my weaknesses, and allowing grace.
Today, we'll explore weaknesses and seek perspective on how our weaknesses may be for our happiness and growth.
I reference The Brooke Snow podcast: 105 Divine Discontent
And you can click HERE if you want to book a call with me.
I can also be found on Instagram at SabrinaPerspectiveDetective
53 - What if it were easy - Pocket Thoughts
Pocket Thoughts are my favorite go-to thoughts that will help me flip into an elevated, more productive, energy.
They’re thoughts that shift my perspective
They’re thoughts that help me be more aligned with the me that I want to be.
Today's:
What if it were easy?
How can I make this easy?
What would this being easy look like?
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Book a coaching session with me: HERE
52. The Anointed One (N.O.C)
It's the beginning of an ongoing series I'm going to do on the Names of Christ (N.O.C) - These won't be every week, but scattered through the year.
The Anointed One - The Messiah - "anointing is what empowers man or woman to function supernaturally. Anointing is that which enables you to do supernatural things". -Kyan Swift
51. Bridle Your Passions (whatever that means)
Who else has wondered what the heck it actually means to bridle my passions and what that's supposed to look like? Or did you just really hate that word or phrase? I did. It felt restrictive, and like I was doing something wrong for even having "passions"
I think I've found a new perspective on the phrase that you're going to really love. One that will help you to bridle in a loving way and find alignment with your true self and grow closer to the Lord.
Podcast to reference: 39. Using Anger for Good
50. The Best Year Yet Meditation
I've been wanting to create and share meditations for a little while, ever since I fell in love with meditation while going through Brooke Snow's Creation Coach Certification program. I realize this podcast is a little rough, there's no intro nor outro, it's totally outside of what I usually do and how I talk about things. I give some slight explanation, but mostly, it's just a meditation I really wanted to share with you. I try to live by the same things I teach, and some of those are: to not overthink just do the things you're scared to do it doesn't have to be perfect to be exactly what it needs to be. Happy New Year, I do wish you all the best year yet.
49. The Fruits of Gratitude
If you do just one thing to transform your life in all positive ways, practice more gratitude.
Just talking about gratitude helps us be more grateful. Listening to podcasts about gratitude will help you be more grateful too.
Also, grab your guide to free yourself from holiday guilt and overwhelm!
related episode : 2.3 Your Amazing Brain Spotify link Apple link
48. The Bathwater Brigade with Jefferson Shupe
In this interview with Jefferson Shupe, author of The Bathwater Brigade, we talk about looking for the intent behind arguments or people that we may disagree with. How to gain perspective and understand on another level - to bring more peace to the world and within our own lives.
Jefferson wrote a book, The Bathwater Brigade, which is geared toward teens and young adults, through a fictional story of a group of college kids with a mission to understand all perspectives, and teach others how to do so as well. You can find his book at: bathwaterbrigade.com or on Amazon
If you want to talk to me, find me on Instagram at SabrinaPerspectiveDetective
Or book a call with me HERE
47. Unless...
Squash limiting beliefs, create a pathway to get unstuck with one magic word.
Unless...
When you find yourself thinking something can’t be done - but you want it, add UNLESS….. and see what comes up for you.
Allow yourself to feel the hope, faith and belief that opens up when you add the word, Unless...
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46. Defense is the first act of war
Think of the last time you felt defensive, or watch this week for feelings of defensiveness pop up. What is going on for you? Is there some truth behind what is being said? Have you been attempting to hide from this truth? How will it bless you, and maybe even your other relationships if you open up and let light in?
To register for my in person workshops in Eagle Mountain coming up on 10/19, 10/26 and 11/3, click this link
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45. Identity
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To register for my in person workshops in Eagle Mountain coming up on 10/19, 10/26 and 11/3, click this link
Homework this week: repeat the mantra, I love and Accept You. Choose a time that you feel you need it, whether it is in the morning, or every night before bed, or all through out the day when you catch yourself in other negative self talk. I love and accept you.
43. Going Through Something
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There is a Buddhist story that I read in the book Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach about the Buddha and a demon whose purpose is to spark fear and distraction into the lives of the people. He, of course, shows up often and powerfully to try to spiritually harm the Buddha. But the Buddha, being the Buddha, fully enlightened, fully at peace, full of the kingdom of God within his heart and soul, approaches the demon when it approaches and says: “Hello, I see you”
The Buddha would invite the demon to tea, and serve him as an honored guest. He offered the demon a cushion to sit comfortably, and then take his own seat next to him. The demon would only stay for a while, but then he would leave and all throughout the Buddha remained free, and undisturbed.
Allowing, is how we actually get through something.
42. Drop the War, with Emily Wardrop
Book a coaching session with me: HERE
Here are all of Emily's links, check them out!
www.dropthewarlifecoach.com
Drop the War Life Coach on IG, FB, and YouTube
Wednesday Wisdom with Emily Wardrop www.dropthewarlifecoach.com/www
Believe you Are a Good Mom masterclass www.dropthewarlifecoach.com/believe
Top 4 Secrets to keep your sanity with little kids www.dropthewarlifecoach.com/4-secrets
Free Zoom Chat www.dropthewarlifecoach.com/appointments
41. Imperfectly Perfect
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Years ago, before I found life coaching, I was a crossfit coach. Totally different worlds of coaching. But I was still me in both scenes.
At the first gym I coached for, one of the gym owners wasn’t too thrilled to have me on the team. And I felt pretty insecure. I like to be liked (who doesn’t). But ultimately, I wanted the outside validation that I was a good coach, because I really put my heart into my classes.
After a couple years, my family moved to Arkansas and I got a coaching gig in our new city. And in the back of my mind, as much as I missed my classes in Utah, I wondered if they were glad to have a new coach now. Perhaps one that was a little more competitive, one that was more athletic, one that fit the crossfit coach mold better.
But to my astonishment, many of the members that attended my classes regularly reached out to me, and expressed how much they missed not just me and our friendship, but they missed my style of coaching.
I got feedback on how much they had progressed because of the way I had taught them and ran my class.
Now I don’t say this to brag.
But rather to illustrate, that we never really know what kind of impact we’re having.
The exact thing that I thought I was doing “wrong” or not good enough, was exactly what someone else needed and loved.
They needed me and my unique style.
It was imperfectly perfect.
At the retreat, we did an activity called Mirror work, which is literally just sitting in front of a mirror, looking into your own eyes, sit and stare, then write what you see.
When it was my turn, I looked into my eyes expecting some kind of cool revelation speak to me, but instead I just saw my eyes. Literally just my eyes.
I saw the color, which I’ve always liked, but what I really noticed was that my eyes are offset and they are actually asymmetrical.
One is bigger than the other.
And in that moment, it didn’t bother me at all, because at the same time, that I saw my asymmetrical, offset eyes, I also saw light reflecting in my eyes and it looked like stars.
And again I thought, I am totally imperfect.
And that’s just perfect.
The original definition of perfect is simply whole, or complete, not lacking.
My eyes are not lacking, I have two of them, they work -> I can see,
my face is complete.
There is no rule that it needs to be symmetrical,
no rule that eyes need to be the same size, shape or even color.
They just maybe typically are. Or we think they are.
But what is, just the way it is, is perfect. It is complete. It is the way it’s supposed to be.
We are all asymmetrical in some way.
We all carry insecurities.
We’re a little offset somewhere
But the way you are. Is exactly the way that you need to be.
I’m guessing that there is something that you think you are doing “wrong”, or not good enough, is exactly what someone else needs and loves, or will truly appreciate one day.
Your unique style is needed and
Imperfectly Perfect.
This week, find your thing - the one that you may be insecure about, but is exactly the way it needs to be, maybe because your way is blessing someone else, or because your way just is being effective.
I want you to find it, and journal about your imperfect perfection.
My friends, Be watchful and stay curious.
40. Drop the rules and have fun
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My brain was screaming at me: You don’t have to make this harder for yourself!
You can do it your way!
Your way works for you!
And the way that works for you today doesn’t have to be the way that you do it next time or every time.
.... You just never know where you’re at and what is going to be the outcome.
All you can control is yourself and pushing the best that you can in the best way that you can.
Make it fun for you.
Make sure you can breathe through it.
39. Using Anger for Good
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Anger may be the emotion we see...
But often under anger are more vulnerable emotions such as fear, vulnerability, embarrassment, rejection, guilt, shame, disappointment and many others.
Those kinds of emotions, the ones that lie under dark water, deep within the iceberg, are all emotions that make us feel disempowered or out of control.
But the truth is, that is actually a false message that we’ve been conditioned to think.
By pushing away the true feeling, and replacing it with anger, you are blocking a truth for you that is trying to come through.
Have you ever felt like you’re a stranger to yourself? It’s because you’re resisting those less pretty and less powerful feelings.
Anger can be a window into your soul.
A window into your values.
A window into the things that you care about.
We don’t get angry about things we do not care about.
We do not get angry over things that are not close to us in some form.
Full transcript here
38. Shift your Focus
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Where I live, there are several mink farms nearby. Now, I wouldn’t say I’m overly sensitive to foul smells. And I kind of even like the smell of regular farms. Farm smell brings up nostalgia and child-like joy. But mink farm smell, that’s something completely different. I can’t explain it other than, just trust me, it’s an awful rotten smell. Especially when you’re exactly downwind of the mink farm. Luckily, I don’t actually live downwind from the mink farm, but the gym that I go to is. One morning we were running and the smell outside literally made me gag several times. As I was running and trying not to breathe (not a good combo) and also wondering how in the world the smell can possibly be as bad as it is and honestly, complaining in my mind, and I didn’t like how the complaining made me feel, and it certainly didn’t make the smell go away, so I decided to create a new thought, one that would be more helpful for me to not hate the mink farm so much at that moment. .
The thought that came to me was: This mink farm is how someone is making their living and providing for their family, and probably several employees.
This is someone’s livelihood.
And while the smell was still rank awful, that thought helped me to not be further bothered.
I shifted my perspective.
At first, I was focused on my own discomfort.
The smell was an obstacle to my comfort.
But when I shifted to thinking about the mink farm as someone’s business and livelihood, it made it more real and permissible in my mind.
The mink farm, and it’s smell suddenly had a story and a purpose. True, it’s purpose is not my purpose, but a purpose nonetheless and one that I could respect for someone else.
Everyone needs a livelihood, and this mink farm is someone's livelihood.
This shift in perspective did not lessen the actual smell, but it did ease my discomfort and more specifically raised my tolerance for it because I decided that someone must love this farm. Someone else is grateful for this farm.
It’s amazing how seeing something differently changes everything.
This is one thing I find amazing about our brains. We’re constantly telling ourselves a story subconsciously. We often don’t even recognize that all the chatter in our brain is a story. But it is.
An easy way to gain perspective and shift from judgment to grace or compassion or empathy, is to tap into your own powerful brain and tell yourself a conscious story. It can be as simple as - this mink farm is someone’s livelihood, they’ve had it in their family for 100 years and they enjoy keeping it up. Suddenly the stench of the mink farm isn’t about me, it’s about someone else and it’s something that i can be happy for them.
So here’s your homework for this week, when you find yourself bothered by something, try giving it a helpful story to shift your perspective from YOU centered, to They focused.
Give it a try and let me know how it goes.
Be watchful, and stay curious.
37. Optimistic in Opposition
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We need opposition in all things. It’s part of the great plan of happiness. Because ironically, if we were fortunate all the time, we wouldn’t really be happy.
I find it interesting that opposition often has this negative connotation. It’s an interesting perspective, if something opposes me and what I want, then it must be bad. But opposition isn’t bad. It’s neutral. It’s just the opposite.
This topic has been particularly on my mind this week as my daughter got some big disappointing news. She has been praying and hoping all summer to be in a certain 6th grade class, with her dearest friends. She found out she is in the class with the one teacher she definitely didn’t want, and all of her friends are in the class with the cool teacher.
She is already perceiving being lonely and left out. And for her as a 12 year old, those social connections are her life’s joy.
As I’ve walked with her and let her cry, I remembered my own 6th grade experience.
I was put into the class with the cool teacher. And I was there with all the coolest girls. And I was there with my very best friend. Everything that she wants.
But it wasn’t a good time. At some point, for reasons that were never explained or understood, my best friend came to school one morning deciding that she hated me and she completely shunned me. My best friend was very pretty and athletic and always the first to be picked on the kick ball teams. And she made sure that Sabrina was not chosen until last, and definitely not on her team. It was perplexing and so painful. I would hear her and the other girls talking about me in the classroom, spreading rumors, picking at my worst parts.
She created and spread a virus that she named Sabrina.
It was frankly, terrible. But pivoted. I made friends with the kids who didn’t really have other friends, I talked to the boys (because they weren’t part of the drama). I helped the teacher more. I believe all of these things increased my social skills in general. I also got really good at being lonely, and that’s a skill I’ve had to use more often than I’d like to admit.
Most importantly, I began to learn the skill of pivoting.
We need bad experiences because they tend to teach us the most deeply.
We benefit from bad experiences through growth and learning.
Bad luck, or trials, or disappointments and negative turns in life are a necessary and important part of life. They give us experience, instruction and growth.
They allow us to build resilience, show us other options that we wouldn’t have seen before and teach us empathy.
I’m grateful for my hard experiences. As for my daughter, My mamma bear heart wants to save my daughter from her disappointment, but I also know that she needs it and it can be rocket fuel for her growth and life learning.
How have your hard times been rocket fuel for growth and learning? I encourage you to think or write about an experience that was very painful, what did you learn? Look for how you pivoted, how you grew and how that experience has helped you be good at something today.
36. Grumpy is optional
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“I’m tired and grumpy”
It’s a common phrase I say, and a common phrase I hear from my kids (I wonder where they got it)
Lately, I’ve been feeling extra grateful for my children, my husband, my home, my life. Must be all that meditation and consciously working on being in the present paying off.
Today, I took my kids to the waterpark, and it’s a long ways away from our house, and I’ve created a routine that when we go to the waterpark we also go to my favorite grocery store, which is also a long way away from our house, but it’s on the way home.
So we waterparked, had a great time, but always tend to leave with some huff and puff as we never leave when I want to, it’s hard to round everyone up, plus all the wet stuff etc. It’s a whole messy orchestra.
But I was not going to skip going to the grocery store, and the children know it. Plus, we needed to go to another store to buy a birthday present for the neighbor.
So we go. And they know the drill.
But just because they know the drill doesn’t mean it’s easy to shop with 4 kids let alone 4 kids who just left a waterpark on a very hot day.
As we’re slowly walking through, my oldest daughter says dramatically “I’m tired, and ornery! Aren’t you too mom, let’s hurry home!”
I felt my brain wanting to automatically agree with her, but then I realized, I’m tired, but I’m not ornery. I’m not feeling grumpy at all, just tired and it’s totally not required for the two to go together, even after a hot messy day. Even when no one is listening to me. Even when I have 4 kids whining and asking for things they know I’m going to say no to. The grumpy just doesn’t have to be there. The tired still is, but I noticed that gratitude and presence was just a hair stronger than the tired, which was really probably the power that pushed away any grumpiness.
This was an empowering moment for me. Realizing that tired and grumpy does not have to be married to each other. They don’t have to go hand in hand. I can be tired. Tired physically, tired emotionally, tired psychologically, but still grateful. Which feels a lot better.
We made it through the shopping trip without any swears, without any tears. My kids efficiently helped bag and load up all the groceries into the cart and then into the car. I didn’t even have to ask them twice.
Next time you’re feeling tired and grumpy, just try reminding yourself, the grumpy is not required. You can just be tired. Try replacing the grumpy for grateful.
Its so much more peaceful and will produce a more desirable result.
My friends, be watchful and stay curious.
35. To See or Not to See
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There is a story from the book Stories of the spirit that goes like this:
A family went out to eat at a restaurant. The waitress came to take their order. The father and mother ordered their food then the little girl piped up and said “I’ll have a hot dog, fries and a coke” the father quickly interjected saying “oh no you won’t, she’ll have meatloaf, potatoes and milk”. The waitress looked at the little girl and asked “what would you like on your hotdog?”
After the waitress walked away the little girl smiled, looked at her parents and said “she thinks I’m real”
How often do we really see people? See people and see them as real, versus see people and expect them to be what or who we want them to be?
This week, just take notice of how you’re seeing people around you. Are they just noise in a crowd? Are they objects in your way? A bunch of Idiots, ahem, obstacles, making your life harder as you drive your kid to swim lessons?
Or are they people with their own goals, interests, desires, personalities, quirks, imperfections, falibilities?
Have you ever had the experience of driving somewhere, and you get cut off by a car, you get mad - what is this jerk thinking?! Then you look over and realize it’s your aunt that cut you off, and you’re not mad anymore, in fact you think it’s funny because you know that she’s probably being a distracted driver because she always has a million things on her mind and you just love her anyway.
Suddenly the car that cut you off goes from being an object to a person that you see.
How do you think your life would change if you shifted your perspective to seeing all the people you encounter as REAL?
Without judgment, observe yourself this week in the way you see others.
Just start with where you are and notice, what is your default perspective on the realness of people?
Be watchful, stay curious. This is how impactful change happens.
34. Finding Your Purpose
Why is purpose so important?
In the early 1900’s, Dr. Sigmund Freud argued man’s primary motivation was the desire for pleasure. He created all sorts of theories around this that unfortunately are still studied and practiced to this day, and while feeling pleasure, or more accurately, JOY is definitely important, it is not the primary motivation for life, and when pleasure is the center focus of your life, then we’re actually driven more toward addictions and depression.
On the other hand, Dr. Viktor Frankl, a Jew, wrote Man’s Search for Meaning (i highly recommend reading!) who spent years in concentration camps during Hitler’s terror, contended with Freud saying man’s primary desire wasn’t for pleasure but for a deep sense of meaning. He said when a man couldn’t find a deep sense of meaning (or purpose), he distracted himself with pleasure.
Knowing your purpose and living your purpose can keep people out of depression…
Dr Frankl called his process Logotherapy, logos is a greek word which denotes meaning, or purpose.
Frankl’s work in logotherapy had remarkable results, After WWII, Victor Frankl was put in charge of the mental health division of the Viennese hospital system. They had been losing many patients to suicide. Dr. Frankl came in and put patients through his simple process, of teaching the patients to find purpose and meaning in life, and in that time, the 30,000 patients under his watch, not one committed suicide. We really are designed to experience a life of meaning.
Having a meaning or a purpose in life, is what makes us not just want to live, but helps us to want to thrive and find ways to thrive.
Most recently, in two different courses that I’m taking, I had two different activity assignments that helped me tremendously in reminding me of my purpose, and helping me clarify my purpose.
I want to pass them on to you.
The first one is this to ponder and answer this question-
If you found out that you had 5 years left in your life, how would you want to spend them?
5 years is not a long time, it’s also not a short time where you’re likely to just go bucketlist crazy and throw all caution to the wind. This is why thinking about just 5 years left leaves us with a good thought experiment. It helps to hone in on what’s really most important to you.
What kind of legacy would you want to leave and how can you do it in a short amount of time?
Don’t get too caught up in the thought that you only have 5 years left to live though, because there may be something that you would only do if you knew you still have 20-50 years left, there are plenty of things that are meant for the long game, and I totally support them; but this question can help clarify what you really value and the thing or things that you really want to pursue in this lifetime. Which, ideally, could lead you to some clarity on your purpose.
Honestly, this is the question that lit a fire under me to stop overthinking and start producing shorter, (possibly messier), podcast episodes.
This question helps with clarity of purpose, but even more, how to put your purpose into some action to fulfill that purpose and mission.
(and then this was the end of how many words I was allowed to put in the notes, but here is a link if you want to read the whole thing)
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33. crawling back
It’s been a while.
And I have plenty of excuses for why I haven’t been publishing regularly.
I think the fluffiest way to put it is, I’ve been in a funk, the kind that is less than depression but more than a bad day.
But ultimately, the reason I haven’t been publishing isn’t as important as the fact that I’m back here today.
And I’d actually like to extend that thought to you, if you have felt like you’re stuck in a funk, or a walking depression of sorts, or just haven’t been showing up as the self that you’d like to, I give you permission to recognize that the time spent outside of your true or ideal self is less important as the moments that you spend working on being you again.
Anyway, that said…
I’ve been doing plenty of thinking, and also trying not to think too plentifully. (because let’s be honest, over thinking never did anyone any good)
But I’ve learned a lot about myself
Even though I’ve felt like I’ve been in this big deep, funk, I’ve still learned a lot about myself.
That’s one of the really cool things that I’ve found about life, whether we’re moving toward a positive upward motion and productivity, or maybe spiraling in a negative direction, learning more about ourself is always available and sometimes, its during those negative spirals that we learn the most about ourselves and about what we want, who we are, where we want to go and what we want to do.
Have you heard of Gretchen Rubin and her 4 tendencies?
Gretchen Rubin is a researcher, and she has packaged people up into 4 different tendency personalities. These come into play when expectations are on the table.
TO give a brief summary, There’s the Upholder, someone who does what they say they’ll do because they said it, they just need to know what should be done and they do it. The Questioner, someone who wants to know the why of everything before they’ll commit, they need justification. The Obliger, this person needs to be kept accountable to someone else, but will do what other people expect of them. And the Rebel, the one who needs freedom to do whatever they want in their own way.
Keep in mind, these are tendencies all of us probably have a little bit of each inside of us.
But I learn mostly toward Obliger, and Rebel, depending on the day or the expectation.
When it comes to my podcast, I find myself leaning toward rebel tendencies. I don’t want to do anything because I have to, because it’s the right way, because it’s how to build a following, etc. But I do want to keep my podcast and I want to express the message I want to share.
My mission with this podcast is to give you tools to live a life with greater perspective, truth and grace.
This is all my long way of saying that I want to keep producing podcast episodes, but I’m going to stop making it such a big deal to keep all the rules (whatever they are).
As an Obliger, one who likes to be kept accountable - this is just my way of keeping myself accountable to you, my listeners, all of this over explanation of where I’m at and letting you know that you can expect something slightly unconventional going forward.
This is me, and I would like to be unapologetically me - a little bit a mess with a passion to share a message.
Next episode, I’m going to share a little more about how I’m working my way out of this whatever funk or stuckness I’ve been in, (I don’t know a better word for it, less than depression but more than just a bad day (ahem, months)), my mom calls it walking depression where you look fine, you’re still mostly functional, but not quite living like you want to.
Spoiler, next episode will be about finding or living into your purpose in life.
But I anticipate future episodes to be unorthodoxically short, unless they’re not. (No more rules here)
But as always, be watchful and stay curious.
2.19 Belonging
We all have the desire and need to belong. What I hope to teach you today, is that 1. You're normal for wanting to belong. And 2. How to create feelings of belonging yourself. No need to wait for the perfect conditions or circumstances anymore.
Follow me on Instagram: SabrinaPerspectiveDetective
Book a coaching session with me: calendly.com
2.18 It's Just Data
Reframing "failures" today as data. Our attempts, whether they land well or not, are still always helpful to our progress and process. The purpose of life is to experiment, and to try. All the things that we do, are for our benefit and good, and gives us something to learn from, aka, data.
Instagram: SabrinaPerspectiveDetective
Book a coaching session with me: calendly.com
2.17 Start Celebrating You
Hey! Acknowledge yourself! I mean, acknowledge yourself in a celebratory way, because you're awesome and you're doing good things and best of all, it's going to keep you going and rocket fuel you toward your goals. Good feelings create good results.
And go book a coaching session on this link: Well, Crap....
Follow my on Instagram: SabrinaPerspectiveDetective
2.16 Who Better Than You?
Today, I share my two new favorite thoughts that keep me in best alignment with the person that I want to be.
Try them out and let me know how it goes for you!
Message me if you'd like more information about the Seek and Find You course and group - it'll help you make traction on knowing yourself and getting unstuck!
Instagram: SabrinaPerspectiveDetective
Book a coaching session with me: calendly.com
2.15 We're Complicated
We're complicated beings, with a range of emotions, that are all necessary for our progression and humanness. We can't grow up if we're not willing to sink down.
"We are all worthy of both pain, and delight.
I believe that wonderful things can happen when we can embrace a duality of emotions, and I say duality, but I think it’s often more like a multiplicity of feelings, emotions and thoughts."
Instagram: SabrinaPerspectiveDetective
Book a coaching session with me: calendly.com
2.14 The Cyclical You with Jade Alexander
We talk about periods today and the cycles women go through and how we can tap into those cycles and make them a super power.
Jade Alexander shares her expertise.
You can find her on Instagram at: @ItsJadeAlexander
Or listen to her podcast: Grow With the Flow