"More than 80 percent of supervisors claim they frequently express appreciation to their subordinates," The Power of Moments claims, "while less than 20 percent of the employees report that their supervisors express appreciation more than occasionally. Call it the recognition gap."

In this episode, Brian and Kasey discover WHY this gap exists and wrestle through ways in which leaders can support their people and intentionally close the gap of recognition.

Big Picture: Why does this gap exist?

Five Steps of Dependency

Give it once, they appreciate it
Give the same thing again, they will anticipate a third time
Give a third time, they will have an expectation for a forth
Give it a fourth time, they will feel entitled to it
Give it a fifth time, they will be dependent on it

Loss Aversion and The Power of missed opportunities

Loss aversion “is a cognitive bias that describes why the pain of losing is psychologically twice as powerful as the pleasure of gaining

Lose $20 is more powerful than finding $20
Lose prep time is more powerful than gaining extra time

Love languages -

Words of Affirmation
Physical Tough
Receiving Gifts
Quality Time
Acts of Service

Mudd on the Boots: What can we do about it?

Nothing:

Givers and Takers: “Givers and takers differ in their attitudes and actions toward other people. If you’re a giver, you help whenever the benefits to others exceed the personal cost - you simply share your time, energy, knowledge, skills, ideas, and connections with other people who can benefit. If you’re a taker, you help others strategically, when the benefits to you outweigh the personal costs. You give your time, energy, knowledge, skills, ideas, and connections to other people who can benefit only when it benefits you."
Remember Who You Are

Strengths - embrace them, use them, grow them

Weaknesses - acknowledge them, then put in safeguards

3. Be the hero, not the villain

Have the same backstory - pain - but respond differently

Villains say "The world has hurt me, I’m gonna hurt it back"
Heroes say "The world hurt me, I’m not gonna let this happen to anybody else"

If you acknowledge that you are not being thanked enough, make sure it does not happen to anybody else - step up and offer ways to support your staff/colleagues.

References:

⁠⁠Sound Relationship House, from the Gottman Institute⁠⁠

“The green forest flutters in our land and mountains, and I didn’t plant even one tree” - ⁠⁠⁠In Order to Live: A North Korean Girl's Journey to Freedom, by Yeonmi Park⁠⁠

"Do you take pride in your hurt? Does it make you seem large and tragic? ...Well, think about it. Maybe you're playing a part on a great stage with only yourself as audience.” - ⁠John Steinbeck, East of Eden

Show Sponsors:

Schurtz and Ties is sponsored by PeerDrivenPD, a teacher training platform that brings "candid conversations from some of the best classroom educators in the country." You can "get your training directly from the teachers in the trenches as current classroom teachers guide your professional learning with authentic insights and practical strategies you can try immediately." Check out PeerDrivenPD.com for more information and mention Schurtz and Ties and get 10% off any purchase for one year!

Please reach out and let us know your thoughts, share a topic, and let us know what you think!

Twitter: SchurtzandTies

Gmail: schurtzandties@gmail.com

#DoGreatThings and #KeepKnocking

Thank you to Matt Hard for the outro music (it was generated from our Chat GPT Episode) and Karl DeCock for creating the cover art!

Ep 42: Safe vs Brave Schools.

Schurtz and Ties: A podcast about education and cultureBy Schurtz&TiesSep 11, 2023