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Selfie Valuation

Selfie Valuation

By Selfie Valuation

A podcast about the ABC's award-winning* long-running** sitcom "Selfie".

*may not actually have won any awards
**depending on your definition of "long"
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"Perestroika"

Selfie ValuationDec 11, 2018

00:00
43:01
"I Woke Up Like This" Commentary and Series Finale

"I Woke Up Like This" Commentary and Series Finale

So this is how the podcast ends, not with a bang, but with a riveting activity straight from the mind of one of the internet's staunchest "Selfie" fans. That's right, it may be the end, but it's all fun and games (and fond memories) until, and up to, the very last minute.

Twenty-six episodes later and Beth and Evan have finally come to their predetermined stopping point, having spent hours on what this short-lived sitcom was and what it could have been. If it helps at all, remember that their project lasted three months longer than the show they love so much.
Jan 22, 201901:07:15
"I Woke Up Like This"

"I Woke Up Like This"

Our truest fans will forget, however momentarily, that the title of this episode came from the "Selfie" season and series finale. Instead, they might think that it refers to them and how beautiful they are in this morning, or that they in fact arose from slumber with headphones on, already listening to the internet's #1 "Selfie" podcast.

Nobody likes it when a good thing ends, but Beth and Evan put on their bravest faces and recap the very last episode ever of a very, very, very good sitcom. For the disappointed, stay tuned for next week, when they wrap things up in a particularly special way.
Jan 15, 201955:38
"Stick In The Mud" Commentary

"Stick In The Mud" Commentary

This week Evan and Beth are keeping it in the family by bringing on a special gue- oh, sorry, there's been a misunderstanding. Evan and Beth are DISCUSSING family. Specifically the families of Eliza Dooley and Henry Higgs. Apologies for any confusion.

Tune in to hear what number child they are (though they know they're #1 in your hearts, listeners), what Eliza's sister's baby's Instagram handle would be, and exactly who to call when you've been in an automobile accident.
Jan 08, 201934:42
"Stick In The Mud"

"Stick In The Mud"

It's 2019 and gym membership numbers are at an all-time high! What better way to motivate yourself to hit the gym than to set a goal for yourself? It could be something as daunting as hiking the Pacific Crest Trail, or perhaps even the (comparably) more manageable Tough Mudder?

No, this episode isn't about difficult mothers (which is a joke that works much better if this description is read aloud), though that is definitely something Evan will jokingly discuss in next week's episode. This week focuses on burying the hatchet (which is like a stick, though not necessarily in the mud)!
Dec 29, 201846:43
"Perestroika" Commentary

"Perestroika" Commentary

Television enthusiasts will be familiar with Dan Harmon (once most well-known for "Community", now [in?]famously so for "Rick & Morty") and his formula for sitcom writing. The truly successful will stick to it without deviation. It's for that very reason that Beth and Evan are keeping with what's tried and true: diving into an episode of "Selfie" with a little less preparation than is probably advisable (and yielding some quality discussion [and a teaser of what's to come] to boot!).
Dec 18, 201831:10
"Perestroika"

"Perestroika"

"Perestroika?" you may be muttering aloud. "Is that some sort of three-wheeled vehicle from the capital of France?" The most fortunate among you know that this is not the case, and that listening to this very good episode of this very good podcast will give you the answer you need (and more!).

In this case more refers to an easy, breezy, in-depth recap of the eleventh episode of "Selfie", marking the antepenultimate installment of the series. It also refers to the entertaining details about the hosts' lives, sparingly doled throughout like guacamole in a burrito (but from one of those joints where it comes at no extra charge).
Dec 11, 201843:01
"Imperfect Harmony" Commentary

"Imperfect Harmony" Commentary

"Selfie" was a sitcom that aired in the Year of our Lord 2014, and was categorized as a "romantic comedy". This episode of this podcast is about a certain episode of that series, but is more accurately about romcoms as a film genre.

As Julia(?) would say, "But seriously, folks," there's some excellent discussion here that springboards out of the idea that "Selfie" could be revived as a feature length movie. Spawning from that, like Athena birthed from the forehead of Zeus, is another even bigger and more important question: What if it was revived as TWO movies?
Dec 04, 201833:17
"Imperfect Harmony"

"Imperfect Harmony"

Imagine visiting your local karaoke bar, except instead of queuing up Seal's "Kiss From a Rose" instead it's the tenth episode of "Selfie", a sitcom that was here today (at some point in 2014) and gone tomorrow (at another, later point in 2014). That's what Beth and Evan did!

That intrepid duo then got to recapping that episode for your listening pleasure! Their viewing experience has been condensed down into 3/4 of an hour of auditory gold, the perfect soundtrack as you drive to the hometown spot for a public (or private) singalong experience.
Nov 27, 201846:47
"Follow Through" Commentary

"Follow Through" Commentary

How ironic would it be if on the commentary for an episode called "Follow Through" the co-hosts of this podcast inadvertently took a break for one of their birthdays (as a cover for technical difficulties causing the episode not to be posted online as intended)? Oh, wait, is that not how irony works?

This week Evan and Beth talk a LOT about what the future of "Selfie" might have been, more specifically a revival of the show today, in the Year of our Lord, 2018. Who is it for, who does it star? All this and more in their almost always on-time "Selfie Valuation".
Nov 19, 201841:14
"Follow Through"

"Follow Through"

"I don't know why I'm having trouble committing to something that sounds so good." That's something that an ABC exec should've though to themselves way back in 2014, when "Selfie" was on the chopping block and so close to getting so, so good.

This week's episode is all about hard choices and not realizing what you had in front of you this entire time. Is that a theme that applies to the longtime friendship between this podcast's two co-hosts? It isn't, but can you imagine if it did?
Nov 06, 201848:30
"Traumatic Party Stress Disorder" Commentary

"Traumatic Party Stress Disorder" Commentary

As any Netflix enthusiast should know, tomorrow is Sabrina Spellman's 16th birthday, the date of her Dark Baptism which just so happens to coincide with a blood moon eclipse! Fans of this podcast, however, know that the real focus is Henry Higgs's 40th, which continues on into this week's episode.

Beth and Evan talk secret shames, dinner parties, and how future "Selfie" installments might have flipped the scripts of the show so far. This intrepid duo doesn't need the Dark Lord to breathe new life into ABC's unwanted, their ideas inspired more by the hilarious than the horrific.
Oct 30, 201842:60
"Traumatic Party Stress Disorder"

"Traumatic Party Stress Disorder"

"Hi, I'm Rod, and I like to party," is a line from a very funny movie. It's also what Eliza would say, if one of her nicknames was Rod. Eliza loves to party, and Henry? Henry. . . not so much. One might even think that might create a conflict that leads to trauma, stress, AND disorder!

It's Tuesday, and that means it's time to hit pause on Blues Traveler's "Run Around" and hit play on another episode of "Selfie Valuation". Listen to this while drinking, while in the office, or both! All that matters is that you enjoy responsibly (or not, it's your life!).
Oct 23, 201836:42
"Here's This Guy" Commentary
Oct 16, 201831:42
"Here's This Guy"

"Here's This Guy"

A new significant other can put a lot of strain on a friendship, though Evan and Beth can say with confidence that they haven't allowed such to affect their ability to podcast together. For Henry and Eliza, however, it's a different story.

The jolly ginger giantess suffers from an attention deficit disorder, and the rebranding wunderkind must determine for himself whether or not all women truly have green eyes. This week things are low on sizzle, but the stakes are high, so tune in to see what's happening on this four-year-old sitcom!
Oct 08, 201840:00
"Never Block Cookies" Commentary

"Never Block Cookies" Commentary

Have you been on the lookout for a podcast focused on a 2014 sitcom that veers wildly off into a deep dive on the portrayal and desirability of Asian men in American media? If so, that is pretty cool. You sound like a person with impeccable taste.

There is also the chance that this is right up your alley, because co-hosts Evan and Beth are further dissecting an episode of "Selfie" that features the hottest scene to date. Somebody get John Cho and Karen Gillen a couple of honorary Bachelors of Science degrees, because their chemistry is out of control.
Oct 02, 201844:16
"Never Block Cookies"

"Never Block Cookies"

Much like the cops played by Seth Rogen and Bill Hader in "Superbad", Evan and Beth are not here to block, but to guide listeners through yet another episode of ABC's "Selfie". They sadly do not, however, discuss their favourite cookies (that's next week!).

Henry and Eliza's friendship starts to heat up to a scorching 350°F (175°C), the perfect temperature to create delectable baked goods and get this co-host to vent his shirt collar. In her search to find him love, will she discover that the answer was inside of her all along?
Sep 24, 201848:34
"Even Hell Has Two Bars" Commentary

"Even Hell Has Two Bars" Commentary

Evan experiences his own special kind of hell this week when he comes to recording having only gotten two hours of sleep. That's the mildest kind of play on words when it comes to this episode's title, and the best a still-sleepy brain could come up with.

This episode is a roller coaster in the absolute truest sense of the word, with one co-host wildly stopping and starting, the energy yo-yoing as both do their level best to consider how the fifth episode of "Selfie" affects the trajectory of its two (romantic) leads. They also talk about Terrence a little bit.
Sep 18, 201827:53
"Even Hell Has Two Bars"

"Even Hell Has Two Bars"

This week Beth and Evan learn that you can lead a marketing exec to water, but you can’t make him want to do anything else but ride a horse. That’s a messy play on a common idiom, but it’ll make a lot more sense once you listen to this episode!

Henry and Eliza are out of the office, and things are starting to heat up! Or maybe that’s just because Henry is fully wearing jodhpurs and a riding jacket by the pool. The duo get to know more about (and see more of) their boss’s family than they ever imagined, but with a promotion on the line maybe the real professional growth was the personal improvement we made along the way.
Sep 11, 201844:29
"Nugget of Wisdom" Commentary

"Nugget of Wisdom" Commentary

If Beth and Evan's original recap of "Selfie"'s fourth episode was but a single deep fried morsel this commentary is an entire 20-piece box of genuine insight. Mentally masticate to your heart's content, listeners, there's more than enough to go around!

And for those who listen to this podcast but don't follow the creators on social media, why is that? Is there a good, just reason that you haven't taken the time to become one of their followers on Twitter? It's @selfievalpod, there's still time!
Sep 04, 201841:23
"Nugget of Wisdom"

"Nugget of Wisdom"

If there was ever any question to the superiority among fried chicken shapes, ask yourself this question: Has anyone ever describe advice as a "chicken tender of wisdom"? On second thought, maybe that wasn't the slam dunk argument that it could've been.

Speaking of things that ARE slam dunks, Beth and Evan stylishly score two points with their latest recap of ABC's "Selfie", the show your show could look like. (That's a reference that you'll only fully get if you listen now!)
Aug 28, 201851:15
"A Little Yelp from My Friends" Commentary

"A Little Yelp from My Friends" Commentary

What is an ethical way to garner reviews for your service or product? How about unabashedly begging? Oh, that's fine then? In which case, please leave this podcast a five-star review on iTunes. Pleeeaaaaasssse. Pleeeeeaaaaasssssssse.

After you've done that, go ahead and listen to Evan and Beth dissect yet another episode of ABC's "Selfie", particularly focusing on the show's potential metamorphosis into one that features an ensemble cast as well as John and Eliza's strategies to make friends and influence people.
Aug 21, 201835:04
"A Little Yelp from My Friends"

"A Little Yelp from My Friends"

Evan and Beth have been both been watching "Selfie" again and assessing it, which means they've been re-viewing it AND reviewing it. And speaking of reviews, their five-star(-worthy) podcast is focusing on the third episode of the hit series.

Making friends and influencing people is the name of the game, and Eliza and Henry have their own separate, respective struggles to face this time around. The spotlight also manages to find Brian Huskey, who is given some much-deserved screentime.
Aug 14, 201846:09
"Un-Tag My Heart" Commentary

"Un-Tag My Heart" Commentary

Who are you? Who, who, who, who? The lyrics from television's greatest crime procedural ask a question that cuts to the core of every person's being, and is strongly worth considering in light of our present-day online and IRL personas.

That's what the co-hosts of "Selfie Valuation" are here to pick apart, specifically in terms of television's greatest sitcom and its second episode. For those still seeking to define themselves, know this: you're listening to Beth and Evan, and that makes you the best kind of person.
Aug 06, 201834:35
"Un-Tag My Heart"

"Un-Tag My Heart"

Everyone knows how important first impressions are, but what about second impressions? Though not as commonly said, they're also pretty pivotal! How does the second installment of the apple of ABC's eye stand up to the pilot that precedes it?

Beth and Evan are here to un-tag a lot of the criticism that "Selfie" received during its run and, hopefully, find it a place in the hearts of their listeners. And for any who are still skeptical, this episode's about Facebook. Hate it love it, you definitely have an opinion.
Jul 30, 201801:01:09
"Pilot" Commentary

"Pilot" Commentary

You may be familiar with the advice to "Keep your comments to yourself." That's pretty sound instruction for anyone who doesn't host a podcast that's focused on recapping and reviewing a TV show. Especially when that podcast features episodes solely dedicated to further commentary.

Beth and Evan take a closer look at the aptly named "Pilot" and its women. Not so much their physical appearance (though that's admittedly touched on), but how they're treated and depicted by the critically acclaimed ABC sitcom. Also included: a consideration of what might have come to pass in a better, brighter world.
Jul 23, 201835:12
"Pilot"

"Pilot"

The world was forever changed on one fateful Tuesday in September of 2014. ABC aired the first-ever episode of "Selfie", a sitcom that would go on to shake the very foundations of the entertainment industry as we know it. Starring Karen Gillen and John Cho, this was a show that no one could have expected, and absolutely nobody was prepared for.

Almost four years later and that momentous occasion has finally been followed up by a valiant attempt to recap that groundbreaking pilot. It is a feat that few have attempted, and even fewer accomplished, but Evan and Beth know they're up to the task. They'll have to be.
Jul 11, 201855:55
Trailer (Episode 1 out July 17th!)

Trailer (Episode 1 out July 17th!)

All too familiar with the ABC's tragically short-lived sitcom "Selfie", starring John Cho and Karen Gillen? If so, this promo may not have a lot of new information for you. What it CAN provide, however, is a thorough introduction to Beth and Evan, two friends who are here to discuss the show in the months ahead-

Honestly, they're not sure how much overlap there is between "Selfie" enthusiasts and their personal friends, but maybe in the bright, nearby future, that Venn diagram becomes a single circle.
Jul 08, 201814:12